Fill the Moon
by Damned Lolita
Summary: One little girl, trapped in a body with one big monster. One Organization, one purpose. Fourteen people, lost without their hearts. A trap laid by the one thing they'd hoped to possess. In the end, even when the darkness wins, you have to fight back.
1. The Monstrous Little Girl

(I swear to christ this one is getting finished. Why? BECAUSE I ALREADY WROTE IT ALL. I know that's like tempting fate but JESUS. I DID IT! After FIVE MONTHS this is edited to my perfectionist tendencies, and totally done and redone and rewritten and has more stuff added and so on and so forth. So I'd like to thank everyone who waited, because christ I suck at updating. But now, every three-to-five days, updates. Seriously. Not joking. Also, if you'll notice, I cleaned up my ffn account a bit. Sucky stories, ones that were never getting updated, etc etc. Sorry to anyone who liked them--let me know and I'll PM you a copy of the fic if it's a oneshot. Okay?

This aside, on to this fic. A few warnings are needed, because I write some twisted, twisted shit. First, holy crap the gay will slam you in the face with a Carebear Stare. I didn't want to turn people off who go "barf it's a romance fic" because hell I know I do that too sometimes, but this isn't a romance story. So this is why I'm giving a warning.

This WILL go up to M. A very high M. Because not only is there gay, there is, (without giving anything away), much splatter, lots of monsters, human and otherwise, and swamp horror. I'll put individual warnings for each chapter, but yeah. Also, it amuses me that I have to include "teh gay" with the stuff like "gore and monsters." Even if this IS KH, I figure I should be careful.

For the first time in a long while, a disclaimer--clearly I do not own Kingdom Hearts, I mean even they wouldn't totally play up the yaoi this much.)

* * *

Truth be told, they didn't know where she had come from.

The small village north of Hollow Bastion, a village so small it didn't even have a place on the map, and was affectionately referred to by the locals as the Invisible Village. The people had lived quiet, simple lives, until the little girl wandered into town, covered in dried mud and smiling serenely at all of them before passing out.

They rushed to help her, and found no external damage on her body when they washed the mud off. Her hair was tangled, but that would be fixed with a brisk brushing. The fact that disturbed them was that no one could guess her age.

It was usually easy to tell a child or teen's age by their body. She, however, was indecipherable. She had small, budding breasts, but a full figure, with all the curves a teenager developed. She had no body hair apart from what was on her head and face--in fact, the smoothness was almost eerie. And she was tiny--small and delicate.

She awoke two days later. The second he was alerted, the town's elder stepped forward and proffered a hand. "Little girl." He said softly. "What might your name be?" Her answer was simple, as she sat up and twirled a strand of hair around her finger.

"I be Senayax." She said. The elder nodded wisely.

"And, may I ask, how old are you?" He asked politely, tapping his staff on the floor. The sweet little girl gave him a big, childish smile, all teeth and gums, before saying, "I don't know."

The townspeople were stunned. However, they wrote it off as a product of whatever trauma had left her on the outskirts of their tiny little village, and never said anything. Senayax never spoke of it again.

* * *

She was promptly given two parents to care for her, a young couple named Allie and Keldy. They had been unable to concieve, and Senayax was the answer they'd been looking for. So the family was a happy and devoted one, and Senayax seemed fully prepared to grow up in a simple country village, and never wonder about her past or what brought her there. Much to the delight of the elders, in fact, one of the younger boys had taken a marked interest in her.

But she never paid attention to anyone else unless forced to. Most of the time, she sat in the dirt, drawing alien-looking pictures that bore no resemblance to anything that the folk knew of the world. She was quiet, they said. Just traumatized still. It was a phase.

A few months passed of Senayax's stay in the Invisible Village. They were the same, slow, sleepy normal months that had passed long before she had ever arrived. She didn't seem to change much, just kept walking blankly throughout her life, never responding to overtures of friendship. She was still drawing those pictures, only now, they had become much more ornate and intricate. They began to resemble hearts and moon-shaped scars in a gouged-out sky. Whenever she'd draw those pictures, she'd drag the stick harshly across the dirt, making concentrated little grunting noises as she did.

The children soon began to edge away from her whenever she came to draw. The bravest ones were challenged by their friends to run up close and ask her what she was drawing. Each time, she would tell them simply, "I dunno."

The adults were almost in a reverent fear of her. She would walk into their homes when Keldy and Allie were invited to parties, and simply tilt her head and listen to their conversations, her eyes closed for long stretches at a time before she'd open them and say something that utterly floored the party. It was then that she was usually ushered out by Keldy to take her home, with an excuse of a fever.

But she didn't seem to mind, or even notice. She still continued her routine of drawing in the dirt, singing nonsense songs to herself in her room when the mood struck her, and climbing out on their roof to watch the moon when it was full. Some people joked that she was 'looking for something.' If she'd heard that, she would have told them that she was.

But she couldn't remember what she was searching for, or why. It plagued her endlessly, but she stayed quiet--even if she was screaming on the inside, the strange gap in her chest she'd never been able to explain away to herself throbbing with a phantom pain inside her chest. She slept like the dead, but under that skin, if you looked close, you could see swirling dark patterns under it...the same alien patterns she would draw in the dirt, day after day.

She let life pass her by. She didn't seem to mind, even when the summer warmed the earth and the kids took her small oasis in the creek to swim and play. They'd tried to encourage her to swim with them, but she simply sat on her rock and stared down at them until they left.

Then, making sure they were all gone, she'd give a soft squeal of glee and slide into the water, swimming around in the pool until she could hear them calling her name and searching for her.

By the time midsummer had rolled around, she was trying to adapt, however false it would seem. But the villagers saw it as a sign of progress, and pushed her forward, ignoring her groans of almost physical pain as she tried to smile and make idle conversation as she sat with other squalling, gossipy brats her age.

That hollow place in her chest tried to pull her away from the village. But she just didn't know where to go.

Then, like hell had sent a way out, the Heartless attacked.

The people ran in horror, hid in their homes whenever the Heartless were near. They would dart around the town and cheerfully rip people's hearts out on occasion. Children were forbid from ever leaving their homes, and adults would go out sparingly, if at all, especially at night. They overran the town quickly, doing as they pleased.

But they did not touch Senayax. In fact, they were more like her nervous, darting pets. They skittered away if another person came around, but if it was just her, they let her pet them to her heart's content. Senayax seemed to enjoy it, albeit with a distant sort of smile on her face, as if she was trying to remember something. Something important...

* * *

It was supposed to be a simple scouting mission, of all things. The Heartless around Hollow Bastion had all slowly drifted towards a tiny little dot on the map. He was here to find out why.

He sniffed the air, and let the smells come to him. Humans, with a faintly rotting smell--these were humans who had only known harsh conditions and never known or dreamt of hope. Heartless, with their blank, almost immiscible scent, mixing with the air around them, simply making it a bit darker and colder in his mind--and there was something else. Something that he'd only picked up before in the castle. He inhaled deeply, examining the smell, before gasping and clutching his book.

A Nobody. A humanoid Nobody--_one like them. _

The Cloaked Schemer shook his head in bemused wonder. Well, how about that.

He started forward, chuckling to himself. This might be the most interesting scouting mission he'd ever been on.

* * *

Zexion followed the heated scent, letting himself slip through the town unnoticed. It was a bland, utterly uniform sort of town. He snorted with disdain. Whatever Nobody was here, he pitied them. The people were huddled in their houses, barely registering his presence. They watched the Heartless skitter around him, and he deflected the foolish purebloods with a wave of his hand and an eloquent hex. One of the villagers made to cheer, but his wife hushed him quickly, and pulled him into the house. He ignored them, and kept moving. The scent was getting closer, hotter, more...more _there. _

He drummed his fingers on his book as he inhaled the scent again. It was surprisingly untouched by the darkness that clogged their minds and festered within themselves. It was almost...sweet. Gentle. _Young_. He shook his head.

No. It couldn't be. It was a Nobody. He kept moving, and realized he'd moved past the main parts of the village. He tilted his head up, and stared at the canopy of trees that had suddenly formed around his head. He sighed, and kept moving. At least the forest held something that was more interesting than the scent of those people, devoid of their hope.

He kept moving, and felt water trickling around his boots after a time. He looked down, and realized it was a small brook, widening as it moved downstream. The scent tantalized him from down the brook and beyond, and he kept moving, feeling the water shift and puddle around his feet. It began to soak his boots, but the scent was getting closer, and it didn't seem to matter.

It finally led him to a small grove, well-hidden from the rest of the houses. A small oasis had pooled there, and it sparkled in the sun. Rocks were arranged carefully around it, obviously having been moved from somewhere else. They formed a perfect seat for a young child.

It was then his mind whirred, and he realized the truth. It would take him longer to accept it, however. He peered through the trees, where the scent wafted through his nose the most pungently.

He almost dropped his book in surprise.

A...girl? Woman? ...Whatever she was, she was just sitting there, crouching on the hard-packed dirt. A little Shadow gamboled around her feet as she petted it with a sort of mechanical rhythm. Her dress shifted around her as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, and she tried to hold her balance even with the cloth bunched so close to her feet. He shuddered. The scent screamed at him, 'child', but it also alerted him that she was a Nobody.

Her body spoke of a woman, however. Or at least, close enough. He shook his head. He'd found something that he suddenly felt he shouldn't have. He'd felt that same feeling only once before--when Xehanort had told them all of his magnificent idea for the Heartless. He shuddered, suddenly feeling nauseous. He banished the thought quickly, and gathered his wits about him, realizing he'd need to send a message.

He flipped through his book and spoke a small, hastily-performed spell that would send the message to Xemnas. He needed backup. The girl would probably have to be taken by force, after all--and he wasn't very good at force.

--

Within the World that Never Was, Xemnas was in his office, scratching out an equation on his endless reams of paper that populated the desk. He was deep in thought, chewing his lip and letting the question overtake his entire thought process. Saix slept beside him, curled up in his chair, and Xemnas knew that while he may have appeared peaceful, if someone happened to enter unannounced, his pet would have his claymore at his side and his berserker state overtaking his thoughts within an instant. He smiled, and stroked a few rebellious strands of hair away from his diviner's face.

He shifted a few papers, and finally, with the equation at the back of his mind, it was open and clear--a perfect opening for Zexion's message. Xemnas jumped, realizing Zexion was sending him a message from his mission. He closed his eyes, and let the thought penetrate his mind. _Superior, I found a girl. A Nobody girl. Please send aid to bring her back here._ He blinked, slightly in shock from the news. He hadn't been expecting anything to actually come of the mission--he was just sending Zexion on a routine assessment of the area. He smiled thinly.

_What a pleasant surprise. _He thought to himself, as his pet shifted in the seat next to him. Saix opened his eyes, and yawned. "M-master? Forgive me, I didn't get much sleep last night. Your breathing pattern shifted. Is something wrong?" He asked. Xemnas smiled, and kissed his hair.

"No, darling. Can you go gather the others for me? I have some interesting news for all of them." He asked. Saix brightened.

"Master, may I ask what it is, please?" He said, tilting his head in obvious curiousity. Xemnas grinned to himself, and tossed his hair back slightly, leaning against his chair.

"A Nobody." He said. Saix's eyes widened, and he darted off to find the others, as Xemnas laughed softly under his breath. It was only a matter of time before the others would come to him with the same reaction.

Xemnas waited listlessly for the others to arrive, and soon enough ten members stood before him. Zexion had alerted him, and his pet, Saix, was already at his side. He turned to them all, and spoke. "Zexion has alerted me to another humanoid Nobody--a female this time. Being who he is, he doesn't wish to bring her by force. Do I have any volunteers?"

Demyx looked interested, then remembered it would mean fighting, and vehemently shook his head. Marluxia raised a hand, and Xemnas nodded, acknowledging him. Axel looked around, shrugged, and raised a hand as well. Xemnas nodded in contentment. "All right then. You can find him easily enough. I'll leave you to it, then." He said. "Dismissed, all of you--I'll let you know when she arrives."

With the blink of an eye, the Nobodies had all disappeared.

-------------------

Zexion knew they were coming soon. He didn't know who would show up, but it didn't matter. Right now, he had this little girl all to himself. He swallowed hard as he stared at her. She hadn't moved from her crouched position on the dirt, and she was still petting the Heartless. It hadn't moved either, and might have been purring in its' own language--at any rate, it seemed pleased. But the Heartless wasn't his quarry. The girl was. He quietly observed her, mapping out every inch of her body in his mind.

Her plain white dress skirted the dirt, with little puffs of dust rising up if she moved slightly. Her skinny little arms were a deep honeyed coffee color, and covered in dust. He winced at that--had those idiots never thought to give her a bath?

Her hair, which hung in her face as she continued her methodical petting, was a dusky pink color--almost like a dried rose. Her eyes, from what he could see, were the same shade as her skin, only a tad darker, more coffee-colored. She didn't notice him in the slightest, so he kept on staring. He had never been taught tact when observing a woman--he'd lived with Ansem and his Apprentices for almost his entire life. They'd taught him to observe something until he had it down perfectly in his mind, and it had always served him well.

Her whole body from the neck down appeared to be completely hairless...yet he saw the outline of bony, gawky curves and small, perky breasts against the dress. In fact, she seemed to be filling out, but her face was serene and untouched of trauma, same as any child's would look. He shook his head. She was too young to fill out, too young to be a victim of the darkness--actually, how young WAS she?

He certainly couldn't tell, no matter how hard he observed. She almost seemed like she was...shifting.

He was snapped out of his reverie by Marluxia and Axel both appearing behind him with a small hiss, the darkness sinking under their feet. He gave them a tiny nod of acknowledgement, gesturing to the girl. Axel sized her up quickly, and snorted. "Cute little kid, isn't she?" Marluxia only nodded, but his eyes glinted with something almost predatorial. Zexion sighed, and stood up.

The three descended on the girl, who gave no sign that she noticed three large men were surrounding her. Marluxia tried not to laugh as he curled his lip back and stuck his tongue out. Axel did his best to be menacing behind her back, and Zexion simply massaged the bridge of his nose, pinching it tight in frustration. The Heartless looked up and snarled at them, evidently just as embarrassed by their horrible tactics of intimidation as they were. She finally blinked, and tilted her head upwards to stare at them. There was a pause as she stared at them, owlish eyes not blinking or shifting even once. Finally, she spoke.

"Hello."

And that was that. She went back to petting the small black monster, utterly dismissing them. Zexion mentally huffed with indignation. _How utterly rude! A young child, brushing me off like a bothersome fly? _He sighed, and shook his head. Fine. Obviously she didn't know them--so she wasn't intimidated by their strength...but she wasn't exactly scared of people who suddenly appeared around her, either.

_Only children with feelings can get frightened. _He thought darkly. Then he looked at the other two equally harried members of the Organization. Marluxia just shrugged, and tapped Graceful Dahlia against his shoulder, and Axel tried to communicate again. He sighed heavily, and placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. "I'm Axel." He said.

The girl gave no sign that she knew or cared they were there. He huffed in annoyance. "Look, we need you to come with us. That's Marluxia. The blue-haired one is Zexion. We found you here. You don't belong here. We've come to take you home." He said. Her eyes widened for a second, and they knew they'd found her point of interest.

A flash of boggy, leafy terrain flashed across her mind's eye--and something more. Houses rotting on stilts, and a snarling, screaming beast pacing through the town and tearing its' claws into the moon. She gasped softly and fought down a gag as the image made her shudder. "H-home?" Marluxia grinned, taking over.

"Yes. Home. You're coming home with us, little one." He purred, voice becoming like a sweet honeyed trap. Even Zexion was impressed by the way the man's body language shifted entirely, and he became coaxing and predatory, luring her in with his smile. She tilted her head, and reached up to twirl a strand of her hair, seeming unimpressed. Marluxia huffed with indignation before resuming the facade.

"Senayax." She said flatly, nodding to herself as if it was an affirmation of her being. "I be Senayax." She said again. Marluxia nodded, his voice becoming more syrupy-sweet and coaxing as he cooed at her. Axel rolled his eyes, and faked a gagging motion with his finger. Zexion fought back a _decidedly _uncouth snort of laughter.

"Yes, Senayax, we know who you are. We want to bring you with us." Marluxia said, still trying to coax her out of her shell. She closed her eyes for a second. She saw...she saw...

She couldn't remember what she saw.

She stood, and nodded, deciding in her mind that this was what she'd been waiting for. Everyone noticed the sudden shift in her attiude, and her face brightened. She even smiled slightly. "Okay. I'll go." She said softly. Marluxia's grin got wider, realizing he'd won.

"Fantastic, little one. Come, we'll go with you and--ow! Shit!" He swore, and clutched the side of his head, feeling blood trickle down his cheek, its' almost mocking warmth staining his face. Axel and Zexion tensed, but it was Senayax who reacted the most. They weren't watching at the time. If they had, they'd have seen a face completely contort itself with hatred, before settling back into a placid mask.

Senayax turned to see the boy who liked her--what was his name? She didn't remember, didn't care--standing there with another stone in his hand. Upon seeing the assailant, her entire bearing changed. Everyone simply watched, stunned.

She seemed to almost subconsciously place herself between Marluxia and the boy, and snarled, narrowing her eyes. Darkness started to swirl under her skin, and she shuddered with a mixture of pain and predatorial hunger, her eyes tracking every slight shift in his movement. The boy continued on, either unfazed or utterly unaware of her sudden shift in attitude.

"You best leave Senayax 'lone." He threatened, as Senayax snarled louder at him. "Cause if you don't, I'mma throw this one, too." He said, tossing his stone in the air. The three watched him with a mixture of amusement, disgust, and utter contemptous disdain.

Axel--the redhead--Senyax remembered, laughed. "Uhuh. Sure, kiddo. But just remember," he said as he grinned, summoning two blazing chakrams, "we'll throw back."

Senayax watched in detached amusement as the boy ran away. She looked up at Axel, and tilted her head. Her eyes were wide and guileless, that hungry look having dissipated as the boy had left. But a small, feral smile remained, and a question sprung to her lips.

"Why dinnit you kill him?" She asked. Axel looked down, and blinked in surprise. She had meant it in all seriousness, and was tapping her foot impatiently, as if she was waiting for him to realize his mistake, and go back and slit his throat.

"...Uh...because we shouldn't make a scene?" He said, thrown off-guard. She shrugged.

"No one would miss him. He's real annoyin'-like, and he kills flies with his ruler." She muttered. She took Marluxia's hand, ignoring their apparent amusement. "If we en't gonna kill him, we should go now." She stated.

As the four left in swirling darkness, Marluxia chuckled. "I like you very much already, little one."

* * *

As they'd traveled through the darkness, it had evidently taken its' toll on such a young body. As they stepped out into the endless twilight of the World that Never Was, she shuddered and sank against Marluxia, whimpering with pain. He picked her up without a second thought, and nodded to the others, boots clicking on the marble walkways as he ascended the steps to the castle.

He pushed open the door, and Zexion called for Vexen as he walked in. Vexen appeared within an instant, and appraised them all. "Marluxia, you're bleeding." He murmured. Axel grinned, and the look on his face effectively broadcast his thoughts to the rest of the group. Vexen shot him a filthy look before Marluxia shrugged, attempting to diffuse the situation.

"It's fine. It looks worse than it actually is--it's just a scrape." He murmured, and Vexen nodded, before turning his back on them and beckoning them all to the infirmary. Axel cocked an eyebrow, and looked at Marluxia.

"_Why the hell didn't you take advantage of that?" _He hissed, as they followed Vexen down the hallway. Marluxia shrugged.

_"Now wasn't the time, that's all." _He whispered back. Axel crowed with delight, shaking his head and laughing uproariously.

"Why Marluxia, I wasn't aware you were such a romantic!" He purred, loud enough for Vexen to hear. Vexen shot them both a deadly look, but Marluxia managed to save face.

"My passion is flowers, Axel. Romanticism comes to me as naturally as breathing...among _other _things." He purred, catching Vexen's eye and smirking slightly. The blonde huffed in disgust, and dragged Zexion forward. The youngest of the group snorted, rolling his eyes at both parties involved. Marluxia simply grinned.

They finally arrived at the infirmary, and Marluxia set her down on the bed. Senayax shifted, but did not stir.

"Is she asleep? Or is this a comatose state?" Vexen asked, examining her quickly. He appraised her prone form with a clinical eye, noting in an instant the smooth, untroubled face, her small skinny frame, and her utter lack of identifiable aging signs. It intrigued him, but now was not the time to examine her. Marluxia shrugged.

"I don't know. We went through the void, and then when we came here...she just...swooned, and passed out. But it's not like real sleeping...I can't feel anything coming from her. No movement, no breath, and, well," he laughed dryly, "none of us have heartbeats."

Vexen merely sighed, as he set the girl down on the bed, bunching the covers around her before turning back to Marluxia. "Well, that's obvious. I'll alert the Superior. Get Zexion in here--he found her, so he should be the first one to make sure she's even breathing right now." He ordered. Marluxia rolled his eyes, and huffed indignantly.

"Yes, Vexen." He grumbled. The scientist merely raised an eyebrow. Marluxia was always the most irreverant of his rank, but using his name wasn't even a sign of disrespect--it was just something...other. Something Vexen couldn't place.

"Number IV. You'd do well to remember rank, Number XI." He snapped, deciding whatever it was he couldn't understand he would promptly ignore. Marluxia gave him a half-hearted snarl, before darting out the door and quietly giggling to himself as he walked down the hallway.

"Oh, he'll never admit it," he whispered to himself, "but he likes it when I say his name."

* * *

...She could hear screaming.

There was a lot of screaming. And a voice...a voice telling her she best hurry on now, or t'Bookeyman would get her...

So she ran and ran across swampy, mucky ground. Houses on stilts ran with her, gawky wooden legs pulling themselves out of the muck before skittering across the ground again. She was going as fast as she could, but the swamp was sticky and her feet kept getting bogged down. She began to cry; hoarse, ragged sobs issued from her mouth, because she knew t'Bookeyman was coming and she needed to go faster, but now she couldn't remember how.

She tripped and fell in the mud, and began to cry weak, frustrated tears. She pounded her fists against the mud, and began to wail. It hurt so much and she knew he was there, watching, just waiting for his opportunity to eat her alive.

Then she felt someone kneel down, and stroke her hair. Whoever it was, their hands were gentle, soothing--she could feel the soft brush of leather against her forehead as they brushed her hair away from her face. She felt the rush of pages flipping past her, and she tried to raise her head to see who it was, but she was too tired.

"Sssh." A quiet, husky voice whispered. Senayax shivered, and tried to stifle her tears. The voice continued on soothingly. "Sssh...it's okay. It's okay. It'll be all right."

She wished she could believe it...

But t'Bookeyman was coming again...

* * *

Vexen turned to Zexion, who had sat and watched the proceedings between him and Marluxia with an air of amusement. He said nothing about it, however, and simply said, "Shall I stay with her then?" Vexen sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Yes, would you kindly? I really should at least find Larxene and tell her to give the antiseptic to Marluxia, that idiot..." He muttered darkly, rifling through the cabinets and finding the bottle of peroxide and a few bandages. He disappeared, and Zexion wisely waited until he was gone to laugh. Then he turned to Senayax, and watched her. She had been quiet for almost the whole time, but he'd noticed her scent changing.

Zexion simply sat and observed as she whimpered softly, tossing and turning. She was crying, and clutching her fists, fisting them tightly in the blankets and knotting the cloth around them. Finally, in a twinge of gone and long ago feelings of pity, he began to stroke her hair. "Sssh...it's okay. It's okay. It'll be all right." He whispered. For a second, the whimpering and crying ceased, and her face was serene again. Zexion smiled with relief.

Then he felt something crawling around beneath his hand.

He jerked it away in horror, as he watched black, inky, downright _nightmarish_ colors swirl under her golden skin. He staggered back, and clamped a hand over his mouth. They began to almost bubble under her skin, leading to giant swelled warts of darkness under her skin, moving and shifting throughout her body. Senayax opened her mouth, and a bit of the darkness oozed out.

He lifted his shaking hand away to scream...

It was too late. Her skin was ripping and tearing in every possible direction, and some of it was just stretching _oh god what was happening--_

Her arms and legs began to grow and stretch rapidly, and for a pure, visceral moment of terror, they flailed wildly in the air before they managed to flip over, giving the appearance of a demented, four-legged spider. Her hands and feet turned into long, clawed appendages on the ends of her legs, and they drummed on the floor frantically, scrabbling on the marble floor.

Her face had elongated into a rodent-like snout, only it thickened rather than tapered, giving the horrible look of an alligator with a rat's endlessly twitching, curious nose. Her teeth grew and extended into razor-sharp, milky-white fangs, all crammed in her mouth so grotesquely that it appeared as if the mouth was just a mass of thin, needle-like fangs. They gnashed together as her torso began to mutate and become animalistic--the legs were so long, the body almost sunk to the floor. A bald, pale pink tail zoomed out of her back, and it landed on the floor with a wet _thud. _

The flesh was no more than an opaque coating of thinly-stretched and tarnished gold over sheer darkness in some parts, like little fleshy garters. The alligator-snouted monster turned to them, and with a grotesque snuffling noise, buried its' muzzle into its' fur, and tore the skin away, gnawing on it disinterestedly. Zexion backed away, hoping it wouldn't notice him, praying to god he wasn't seeing what he believed he was seeing.

Huge, ravenous-looking rose-colored eyes darted wildly, with no hint of humanity in them, not even the token shred they had left...

Her--it? Was it SENAYAX?--(no, it couldn't be, because little girls were _never_ monsters, right?)--mouth opened and showed rows upon rows of huge, razor-sharp, glistening-white fangs. It roared, and for a second, the eyes of the beast and the schemer met. He couldn't look away, because for a second the eyes turned dark brown, and he saw pure horror in them.

Then it bounded off, and skittered through the infirmary and down the hall, roaring and tearing things to shreds. It didn't matter what it hit, if it touched something, it was torn and ripped horribly, including the walls--so much that you could see the rooms they had walled off only moments before. Vexen, who had been coming in to check her progress, stormed in and stared.

Vexen turned to Zexion, and after he'd finished swearing heavily, he snarled, "Did you misunderstand me, Number VI? What part of WATCH HER did you miss in the statement?!" Zexion snorted. In that moment, he regarded his friend with bemusement--the normally utterly composed Vexen swearing was something that happened only rarely.

"The part where she turns into a horrible beast and slaughters everyone--now perhaps instead of yelling at me, Vexen, you could _help_!" Vexen, admittedly surprised by the younger boy snapping, crossed his arms and stared at him. Zexion merely watched him for a moment, waiting for his reaction. Vexen didn't give him one--instead, he became business-like again, and observed the damage.

"Why?" He managed to ask, finally meeting his eyes again. Zexion swallowed hard, and sighed in annoyance.

"Because she's heading right for the window." He said dryly. Vexen looked back, and saw that the monster was sprinting throughout the castle, screaming in a horrifically high-pitched tone, too human for either of their liking.

The two men went running, tearing through the halls after the beast, and Zexion began to scream her name, hoping within it somewhere, the little girl with the untroubled face resided, trying to fight her own way out.

"SENAYAX!" Zexion roared. "SENAYAX, STOP!" The beast continued moving, roaring, and snarling as it clattered down the steps and into the Hall of Empty Melodies, still screaming. Zexion began to worry she'd crash...until she stopped in front of the massive windowed wall.

The sky was a perfect, clear velvet purple. No stars or moon dotted the sky. The only thing floating suspended in the sky was Kingdom Hearts. The beast looked up and put a massive paw against the glass...and gave one long, sad, howl, before the golden skin began to plaster itself over that swamp-thick darkness...

In what seemed like forever, but was only perhaps a second, a little girl, now stark naked and shivering stood there. She was hunched on the balls of her feet, and hugging herself tightly, trying not to cry.

Zexion stared, and Vexen gasped softly. The two shared a quick glance, both realizing the other was still utterly confused about what had just occured. She looked at both of them, and spoke.

"That be t'Bookeyman." She stated, before leaning over and vomiting up blood.


	2. Shattering the Ice

(All right, I'm publishing this chapter early. Why? Because I want to get all this cutesy-wootsey exposition-slash-what the fuck ever this is out of the way so I can get to the stuff that SCREAMS "this isn't your average 'new Nobody!' fic." Look, yo. I know it sucks now. Bear with me please. It's a lot of exposition. We shall get to the horror soonwise.

Also, yes, TEH GAY starts to come into play. Also lol more exposition Jesus. And Lexaeus being badass. Oh, a side note--the chapters won't all be this long. They're just the opening chapters with all sorts of description and baaarf. Sorry!

I'm dedicating this chapter to my friend Dub, because one, he rocks, two, because I promised him, and three, because if it wasn't for him this wouldn't have been published for like another month. Anyways, I don't own Kingdom Hearts--I'm simply taking their gay subtext and running with it. xD)

* * *

There was a LOT of blood in her lap now. Evidently all that blood used for such a horribly large monster needed to go SOMEWHERE. She was shaking and vomiting it up, screaming and crying hysterically, calling for it to stop before spasming again. Both of them were frozen in their spot until Zexion gagged, the unconscious motion snapping him back to reality. He tried to go to her, and found he couldn't move, still petrified by the sudden change from beast to little girl.

The rest of the Organization had heard the screams, and headed straight for the source. Axel stormed out into the Hall, and took one quick glance at the Hall and the stairs, before looking at a shivering, blood-coated Senayax, and swung her up in his arms. She managed to choke out something that might've been a grateful noise before she spat blood out again.

Axel gripped her tightly as he walked down the hallway, and walked past the giant hole through the infirmary door. The others watched as he laid her down on the bed, rolled her on her side, and wrapped her up in a blanket before pulling a chair up and saying curtly, "I'll let you know when she wakes up." No one argued whether he was the best to watch her. No one even said a word. They all turned to Xemnas.

The silver-haired leader of the Nobodies stood there, gaping. He shook his head, and turned away. "We'll all be back as soon as we can. We'll need that time to fix some of this." They all nodded, and followed him. All except for Zexion, who, without a word, came and sat next to Axel.

* * *

Senayax slept without dreams, time becoming meaningless and fluid for her. Days, hours, years, seconds, all passed in that darkness of sleep at the same rate. It was a cool, sweet darkness. Sometimes, she thought she heard the sound of pages flipping so close she could reach out and brush a hand against velvety, well-worn pages. But there was nothing for her in the darkness but sleep, so she gave in and let it take her.

* * *

When the fluid time had consolidated into waking time, she heard voices. "She...she okay? Fucking hell, NO ONE could vomit that much blood up, especially someone who looks like a fairy!"

"When she's not a horrible, world-destroying monster, that is." Another drier voice, laden with sarcasm.

"As if, Vexen! I'm not kidding! She might be dying! She's TINY! How do you think she could handle that--"

"She's awake. I can smell her."

That voice. She curled up tighter, and huddled inwards. Zexion. She pleaded for them not to peel back the blanket, wished with all her heart; and then she felt the fabric shifting under her, and it was gently lifted up. Axel stood over her, a lazy grin on his face. "So. Our little sleeping beauty awakes." She shook her head, and buried herself back in the covers. It was cold in the room, and the walls, floor, and ceiling were all silvery-white, which hurt her eyes. She could only try to hide.

"No, she doesn't." She mumbled, shivering. Axel laughed, but it wasn't high or cruel--it was geniunely amused. She glared at him, mustering that utterly offended look only children seem to be able to pull off, and snarled. He merely ignored it.

"Oh yes, she does. You've got to meet your new family, as it were." He purred. She finally observed the people around her, all of whom seemed to be older than her. Her eyes went wide, but she stood her ground, trying not to show her nervousness. She recognized Marluxia and Zexion, and managed a weak smile. The seemingly oldest of the group laughed darkly, shaking his head in amusement.

"Oh man, if we were her family, we'd totally get called pedophiles, wouldn't we?" He said, musing to himself rather than asking the question to the group. Marluxia snorted with disdain, and folded his arms over his chest.

"YOU might, but I'm perfectly normal." He said smoothly. Everyone else seemed to find their nails or the floor very interesting in that moment. Senayax, not wanting to be left out, began observing the curtains in a ridiculously overdramatic fashion, causing most of the others to fight back laughter. The first man who had spoken merely shook his head in amused disdain.

"...Yeah, okay, dude. I'll let you go back to tending to your man-eating plants that vomit rose petals, fairy boy." The older man snorted, tossing his ponytail behind his back with a shrug of his shoulder. Senayax watched the sudden twitch of annoyance cross Marluxia's face before his eyes narrowed.

"Oh, I suppose you're just going to go polish your arrows, or should I say penis exten--"

The older man looked incredibly peeved, and Marluxia appeared triumphant. He lunged at Marluxia, until Axel spoke again, glaring at the both of them. "Will you please!? She's probably not in the mood to hear about Xigbar's penis extensions, or--"

"Oh, and I assume Xaldin gets a pass on that bullshit because of his SIDEBURNS?!" Xigbar snapped, glaring at the tall man with braided hair. Senayax observed him for a moment, as he tried not to laugh or brush his fingers against the admittedly impressive sideburns in question. Xigbar simply glared harder, his single golden eye narrowing. Axel shrugged haplessly.

"...Yeah, pretty much." He muttered.

Senayax was muffling her giggles under the blanket, until Axel lifted it up and unceremoniously dumped her on the floor. She squawked in pain, and kicked his shin. As he swore in pain, Senayax realized she was in clothes--a big black shirt and a pair of ill-fitting pants that sagged around her waist. The confused expression on her face was plain. A young blonde-haired boy grinned at her, and pointed at the shirt.

"Oh, those are mine. Sorry they don't fit well--you're kind of tiny. Axel just raids my drawers for my underwear sometimes, so he knew where everything was." He said dryly, glaring at the redhead. Axel snorted in disdain, and as he rolled his eyes at him, the boy held out a hand to her. "I'm Roxas." She observed him without blinking for a long moment, before taking his hand and smiling at him before standing up. She looked at everyone else, and nodded slightly, seeming to accept the group of people around her.

Xigbar managed a wicked grin, while still glaring at Marluxia out of the corner of his eye. "So you're the newest member. I'm Xigbar, and you're the one who's going to get us all accused of pedophilia." She tilted her head, and smiled at him oddly. He grinned back at her, and shook his head. "I'll explain it to you when you get older." She was laughing as she hugged him, nonplussed but amused. A much younger man with dirty-blonde hair glared at him in bemused annoyance.

"If anyone's the cradle-robber, it would probably be you." He teased, and Senayax watched Xigbar stiffen, before turning and glaring at the man. Utterly amused by the death glare Xigbar was sending his way, he smiled at Senayax, and offered a hand. "I'm Demyx. Don't worry, we're not normally this...this...dysfunctional."

"Yes, we are." A dry, feminine voice said, interrupting their thoughts. Demyx turned and stared at a new arrival, a petite blonde woman, who had breezed into the room within an instant. The reactions the others gave were all observed by Senayax with a mixture of curiousity and amusement. Roxas, Xaldin, and Demyx all looked either nervous or flat-out terrified. Marluxia was grinning slightly, and she had turned to wave at him. Zexion merely sighed, and sat on the bed, seemingly unimpressed.

One of the other people, one Senayax regarded with a bit of awe, considering he was a massive, barrel-chested, auburn-haired man, was observing Larxene with a bit of reverent amusement. Senayax was a bit curious, but shrugged it off. The woman looked down at Senayax for a moment. Senayax merely quirked an eyebrow, and looked right back at her, not tearing her eyes away for an instant. This new woman completely fascinated her.

No woman in the Invisible Village had ever looked or acted like this one. Most of them were polite, vaguely meek, and slightly bland. This woman was like a caged animal, muscles wiry and tense, and an ever-present predatorial air about her. She focused her wide turquoise-green eyes on Senayax, and merely observed her, slightly amused. "Hello." She said. "I'm Senayax." She said firmly. The woman raised an eyebrow, and then ruffled her hair.

"Hey. I'm Larxene." She said with a feral grin. Senayax didn't know what to make of that, so she just nodded and grinned back. The blonde woman surveyed her, starting from the neck down. She gave a disdainful sniff, shoving one hand against the side of Axel's head teasingly. "Come on. You can all do better than this. Especially you, Axel. I am _ashamed." _Axel shrugged, looking mildly amused at the odd gesture of affection.

"Hey, you want fabulous, you talk to Marluxia. But since Vexen doesn't KNOW he's going through his underwear drawer--" Axel finished, before the blonde-haired man snarled viciously at him.

"I am not!" The rose-haired man squawked in indignation, stamping his foot on the ground. "And if I was, you wouldn't know, Axel!" He snapped. Axel merely grinned. Senayax giggled again, as Vexen now glared at both Marluxia and Axel. Larxene huffed.

"Dude, whatever. I'm just saying--Superior." She stopped midsentence, and turned to face the door. Everyone in the room seemed to pause, before turning and facing whoever was coming into the room. Senayax watched with interest as a tall man with silver hair and skin as dark as hers strolled in like he had all the time in the world.

"Senayax." He said, and she turned to face him. He was another man so unlike the others she had met--even the ones she'd just been introduced to. His eyes glittered with a contained, distant fire, and he carried himself like a king. She didn't know what to do in the presence of a man like that, so she simply looked up at him and regarded him with interest.

He met her eyes, and shuddered. They were unblinking, innocent, and painfully young. She hadn't shifted her gaze, and he knew in that moment, his eyes were open to her, showing her all his emotions he could not feel but could still remember. She looked up at him, and the almost inhuman gaze shifted to the others, and transformed into a nervous glance at everyone else.

"Why is everyone so nervous? What did I do?" She asked, her voice trembling slightly as she looked up at them. Everyone was silent for a moment, each remembering what they'd seen in the Hall of Empty Melodies. They all looked at each other, and a silent, unanimous consensus was reached; "_no one tells her what happened or what she is." _Nobody or not, she was still young.

Xemnas smiled faintly, knowing that the others would keep silent. He was grateful, realizing that she either wouldn't believe them, or that she'd have some form of a nervous breakdown--possibly bringing the monster out again. That, he knew, was something that couldn't happen until they'd gathered more information on it.

"Nothing, little Senayax. We were merely worried about you. You've slept a long time, you know." He said, tilting his head to stare at the endless twilight sky darkening slightly. Senayax nodded, and tilted her head upwards to stare at it as well. Her eyes widened.

"It is real dark..." She said. "Is it always like this?" Xemnas nodded, and gestured around to all the windows.

"Indeed. This is the realm of darkness. It is the World that Never Was--our home. This is where we reside, in this castle...a testament to the void of darkness." He murmured. Senayax nodded. "Now," Xemnas continued, "shall we finish the introductions?" She nodded enthusiastically, sitting on the bed and watching them all with bright, hopeful eyes.

"Where's Isa, Superior?" Axel suddenly ventured, as Xemnas turned to him. He raised an eyebrow, but Axel stood his ground, and stared back. Senayax wrinkled her nose at this puzzling development, wondering just how many people lived here.

"Saix," Xemnas said softly, "is venturing to a certain world in my place. I have come to see our newest member, and he shall be around shortly." He said. Senayax nodded, the matter settled in her mind. However, everyone else seemed to be interested in something else.

"Does 'venturing to a certain world' mean buying sex toys?" Marluxia piped up. Senayax looked horribly confused, but no one seemed to notice her confusion and curiousity. Axel snorted in amusement, and everyone else merely raised their eyebrows, averting their gaze from a suddenly peeved Xemnas.

"...I could kill you, Marluxia." Xemnas muttered darkly. Marluxia grinned wickedly, and chuckled, shaking his head.

"...I'll take that as a yes." He purred, as Axel rolled his eyes. Xemnas snarled.

"I would never send him for something so..._uncouth! _Honestly, Marluxia, you know as well as I that our relationship is perfectly chaste--"

Now not only Marluxia, but everyone else in the room, suddenly gave a snort of disdain. Marluxia spoke for them all this time, and muttered, "_Liar." _Xemnas glared murderously at all of them, as Marluxia laughed. Senayax went to ask Zexion if "sex" was a different kind of toy specially made for adults, but then she heard someone sigh over her head.

"...Marluxia, you know you shouldn't needle the Superior. He has the courage to speak of the affection his missing heart can give, at least." He murmured, shaking his head. Marluxia snapped his head towards the person, and gave him a vicious deathglare. Senayax tilted her head up to see the large, barrel-chested man with flyaway auburn hair standing over her. Senayax squeaked, before he looked down at her and smiled. She smiled back, fears allayed about the large man. Of course, that didn't mean she wanted to be between him and Marluxia while they argued.

Senayax edged out of the way of the assassin and the hero and hid behind Zexion, who seemed bemused, like this happened every day. She watched everyone's reactions to this argument; Vexen, at the mention of "affection" had simply retreated from the conversation, but Marluxia seemed to have been waiting for this chance.

"Well, Lexaeus, it's easy for YOU to say! You don't have any problems with love! In case you hadn't noticed, I can't exactly win him over!" Marluxia seemed to be reveling in the drama--Senayax noted a bit of quaver in his voice, for an instant--then it disappeared and he flipped his hair, indicating he had said his piece. Lexaeus, the large one, apparently, merely shook his head.

He's not you, Marluxia. You push him, and you can't push too hard on ice, or it will shatter." He said calmly.

The room suddenly fell utterly silent. Not even the smallest breath was heard. Senayax watched everyone, interested by the sudden air of shock in the room. Larxene had a satisfied, "_I fucking called it_" look emblazoned on her face--Axel looked away pointedly, and Marluxia looked almost physically pained by the comment. Senayax suddenly felt a twinge of sadness, and reached out from behind Zexion to pat his hand. He turned to her, and raised one delicate eyebrow. She shrugged, and he shook his head in amusement.

Vexen, however... His eyes had widened, and his breath was hitching very slightly in his throat. Marluxia turned to look at him, but Vexen narrowed his eyes, and turned away from him in disgust. Without a word, Marluxia stormed out of the room, and down the hall. Only Senayax noted his shining, newly wet eyes, and the tears that had begun to fall from them. Vexen breezed out, and suddenly, everyone realized the temperature had just returned to normal. When had it gotten so cold...?

Another large man with thick, black braids glared at Lexaeus. "Great. Now we're going to have to deal with both of them pouting all day. I hope you're pleased with yourself." He said dryly. Lexaeus shrugged.

"...I'm right, Xaldin..." He said softly. Xaldin made as if to say something, and then a leaner blonde grabbed his shoulder, looking at him pointedly. Xaldin sighed, and shook his head.

"Not now, babe." The blonde man said quietly. He turned to Senayax, who had been observing all this time. "I'm Luxord, pleasure's both ours, I am sure. This...this happens often." He muttered darkly. "_Christ, does it _ever_ happen often_." He sighed, and shook his head. "I suppose we'll go see about the both of them. Just stay here, okay? You're not fit to move yet." With a simple black swirling void, they'd all vanished. Senayax sighed, and pulled her knees up to her chin.

"Fine, then..." She sighed, and fiddled with the blanket. The room was so white it almost glowed with a pale light, and it was utterly devoid of life now that they'd all left. Frosted glass bottles with garishly colored liquids stood rigidly on the shelves, and she was suddenly tempted in a fit of temper to knock them all over. She was ridiculously lonely now. She was TOO ready to move.

She laid back down and harrumphed, before pulling the covers over her again and going back to bed.

* * *

Xemnas had sent Saix out on a quick errand while the others had gone to retrieve the girl. He'd needed someone to go recon Hollow Bastion as an investigation, after the strange appearance of another Nobody. Saix had complied, knowing it would have been painful for his master to revisit his old home.

Saix sighed, and shook his hair, boot heels clicking on the cold marble as he padded to the infirmary. The others were off tending to either Marluxia or Vexen--another argument had transpired while he was away. He sighed in annoyance. It was foolish to get so worked up over such a pointless fight. Regardless, their breathing patterns and voices were all resounding from downstairs. But one was still up here, down the hall and in the infirmary.

He could hear someone breathing in there, and it didn't sound like any of the other Nobodies--he'd become so accustomed to everyone's breathing patterns that he could pick them out individually. He'd never heard this one before, though.

He pricked his ears up as he walked in, going towards the blanket on the bed. He saw a bit of hair falling out of the hole between the folds of the blanket, and practically glided over, feet barely making a sound on the floor. He pulled the blanket back, and traced a pattern across her cheekbone.

It was a little girl. A Nobody, he supposed--he couldn't hear a heartbeat. He stared at her, curious and calculating, before running a hand down her cheek, tracing her eyelids and jawline. She was so young, young enough to surprise Saix. This was obviously the girl Zexion had mentioned, but he hadn't expected her to be this..._fragile. _He sighed, and waited for her to awaken.

* * *

Senayax awoke to a warm hand across her face. She groaned, and opened her eyes, looking around and yawning. When she spied him, Saix had to reconsider his idea of fragility as her eyes lit up with glee. He could see a sort of stubborn, almost subconsciously recognized strength in them.

Senayax observed the man who had come to wake her up. The azure-haired man stood there, his bearing tall and proud. He was accepting her stare without any self-consciousness or embarrassment. She was impressed, and managed a small laugh.

His grin was pleased and wolfish, and she had to grin back, taking the hand on her cheek and smiling as she clutched it in her hands. She sat up on her knees, and traced his scar delicately. Saix was visibly amused by her utter lack of fear. Even the founding members kept their distance whenever they saw that scar thicken and his eyes turning gold. Aside from that, almost no one ever attempted to touch him apart from Lea and Xemnas. She didn't seem to care.

"Hello." She whispered softly, taking her hand away from his forehead and looked up at him. He bowed slightly to her as he sat on the bed. She bowed back, and he managed a small smile of bemusement.

"My name is Saix. I am the Luna Diviner, and I serve Xemnas. Who are you?" He asked. She bit her lip, deep in thought. She closed her eyes, and tilted her head, face going utterly blank for a moment. Saix observed, waiting for her to open her eyes. If this was a form of divintation, it wouldn't surprise him--he simply waited for her to return to the physical plane. Finally, she opened her eyes.

"I'm...I'm Senayax, I don't know who I am or who I serve, but I kind of came here because Zexion, Axel, and Marluxia brought me here. I don't really want to go home though." She finished, shaking her head in disgust at the memories. Saix grinned, and whuffed.

"No reason one of us should consort with humans who did not understand what she was." He replied, as Senayax swelled up with pride. "Now, I need to go see the Superior, and I suppose you should too." He said. Senayax nodded, as if considering something. This wasn't divintation. Whatever it was, it made Saix feel incredibly uneasy. Then she grinned at him, and Saix groaned, immediately recognizing a fellow predator's grin.

"Okay." She clambered up on his back, and wrapped her legs around his waist. "Piggyback ride!" Saix weighed his options. Was it undignified? Yes. Was it worth saying no to both a little girl new to the Organization, and a little girl whose feet were close to a _very _sensitive area? No. He sighed, and began to get up. Senayax promptly hooted with glee.

Saix remembered Xemnas had asked, a long time ago, if he would ever have pups. Saix had said he was unsure. Now, with this young girl clinging to his back, he made his decision.

He was _never _whelping pups.

-------

Xemnas could hear them before he saw them. He put his pen down, and shoved his paperwork aside, listening to his pets' boots echo throughout the hallway. He groaned quietly, and wondered if Senayax had been able to keep up. He stood to open the door for his pet--and he burst in, carrying Senayax on his back, who was howling and whooping with joy. Xemnas simply looked at Saix and raised an eyebrow.

His ears wilted, and Xemnas fought down amusement, watching his pet tremble. "...Superior." He mumbled. Senayax looked up at Xemnas, and then down at Saix.

Xemnas had never seen a little girl's eyes go that big. "_Are we in trouble, Saix?" _She said in a loud whisper. Saix, becoming faintly amused, whispered back_, "No." _Xemnas sighed deeply.

"Senayax, you're not in trouble. I supposed I must talk to you, at any rate." His voice became low, curious, a sound that shivered and danced up Saix's spine. Senayax merely stared curiously. Xemnas turned away, and sat down at his desk. He raised an eyebrow when Senayax simply climbed up on top of it, and sat on it. "Why do you think you're living here now, Senayax?" He asked, ignoring it for the moment. She blinked, and twiddled her thumbs, looking sad.

"I guess...I guess I'm living here now 'cause...'cause...I dunno why..." She continued to look down, grasping her knuckles and pulling at them. Saix laid a clawed hand on her shoulder for comfort. Xemnas frowned, as if unsure how to explain--after all, the others had all been adults, or close enough. Even Roxas was a teen. But she...she, well, she was really undefinable. Like an optical illusion--every time you looked closer, you saw something completely different. He supposed he'd be blunt.

"There is one simple reason. Because you're a Nobody. Just like us." He said quietly. She stared up at him, and tilted her head. There was no divintation going on--just a little girl pondering a puzzling thought.

"Like you? But...but I'mma girl." She said, wrinkling her nose. Xemnas bit back a laugh, and tried to collect his thoughts to explain. She stared up at him, and Saix sighed.

"Senayax, a Nobody is someone with no heart. We're...we're trying to summon Kingdom Hearts to fix that little problem, but...for now, we are nothing. We are the Nobodies, Organization XIII." He told her. Her eyes welled up with tears.

"So...so there's somethin' WRONG with me?" Her voice was young and pleading, begging for one of them to say no. Xemnas tried, but the words got stuck in his throat; he himself was unsure if that was the truth. She looked around the room, utterly desperate for something to validate her normalcy. Xemnas swallowed, and realized he could finally speak.

"...No. No, there is nothing wrong with you. We all...we all lack hearts, Senayax. The difference between us and somebodies is that we truly have to earn ours." He said gently. She nodded tearfully.

"So...so, can I help?" She asked, rubbing her eyes with her sleeve, trying to mop up the tears as she looked at him. Xemnas smiled in amusement. The little girl in front of him could, if she knew, tear apart any obstacles in their way. But, even with that in mind, it was better if she didn't know.

So he only nodded, and said simply, "Of course. Now, Saix, could you please do me a favor and find our little Senayax a room? We can talk afterwards, of course, but I think she needs to find her way around first." The little girl took his hand, and looked up at him pointedly. Xemnas put his elbows on the desk, and laid his head on his hands, quirking an amused eyebrow at his pet. Saix sighed.

"You owe me for this, Superior." He grumbled, as the little girl who was his current ward squealed happily and yanked him out the door, Saix trying in vain to keep his coat sleeves from being torn off. Xemnas smiled and closed his eyes as annoyed mutterings and insistent, "come _on_, I wanna go _find _everyone!" demands reached his ears from down the hall.

* * *

The castle was quiet. Vexen had gone to mutter darkly to himself in his lab, and Marluxia was certain the other original members had followed him down there. Larxene had tried to comfort him, but she'd understood he needed to be alone with his thoughts for awhile.

Marluxia walked down the empty hallway, uncaring of the tears that burned his eyes. He hadn't minded arguing with Lexaeus--he knew the man was only trying to help when he'd said it, but...

The revulsion. The utter disgust that was in Vexen's eyes, the contempt, the hatred...

Where his heart had once lay quietly in his chest, there was now nothing, but _ohgod _that disgust had stabbed him to the core of his very being. He took a deep, shuddering breath, and shook his head. He would rationalize this away. Vexen had been caught off guard, that was all. He wasn't...disgusted. Marluxia held onto that belief as he wiped the tears away from his face, and shuddered. Then a small smirk graced his lips.

No matter what, he wasn't going to give up. He was going to see those eyes shine with love when they looked at him someday, no matter what he had to do to see it.

With his determination renewed, Marluxia let a single rosebud entwine itself around his finger and watched it bloom. He grinned. Perhaps he'd leave it out for Vexen.

* * *

After he'd rekindled his desire to seduce Vexen, Marluxia saw Senayax dragging Saix down the hallway, and merely watched with amusement. He leaned against the wall and waited for her to confront him. She stormed right past him, and yelled at a very cowed Saix, "Move faster! I gotta find everyone!"

Marluxia sighed heavily, annoyed at having been ignored. "Senayax." He said, his voice firm and commanding. She stopped. Saix finally yanked his hand free of her grip and whined, rubbing his wrist. She looked up at him, and planted her feet firmly on the ground, glaring at him with her tiny fists on her hips.

"I was looking for everyone." She said, tapping her foot on the ground. Saix mentally groaned, trying to hide his amused annoyance. Marluxia laughed, and shrugged.

"There's thirteen of us, dear. Fourteen, now that we have you. So I believe that might be a harder job than you're thinking." He said, catching Saix's mortified expression and smiling in amusement. Her lower lip jutted out defiantly, refusing to agree.

"Why did you argue with Lexaeus?" She demanded, suddenly remembering the conversation. She lacked tact, as children are wont to do, and immediately asked again after she recieved no response. "Well?" Saix's ears almost visibly shot up in interest at the sudden shift in both conversation and Marluxia's breathing pattern. Marluxia stiffened, before he tried to shake it off and appear apathetic to the statement.

"It...it was nothing." He muttered. She twirled a strand of hair around one finger, and chewed her lip. She looked up at him, and he caught her eyes. She held his gaze for a long moment, staring back at him without blinking. He couldn't look away--it was as if she refused to let him.

"Nope. It was somethin'. That's why you be all 'lone now." She stated flatly. Saix had to fight back a small laugh at her bluntness. The assassin flexed his fingers, trying not to either snap at her or burst into tears.

"It's nothing, little Senayax. Truly. Now, Saix. You must want desperately to see Xemnas after all this time." His voice dropped to a low croon, and his eyes narrowed. He turned to Saix, and put a hand on Senayax's shoulder, drumming his fingers against it. "I'll take care of little Senayax for awhile." He whispered.

Senayax watched as Saix suddenly seemed to change. His face became more feral, more ferocious. His hair began to stand on end, and his eyes were gleaming an odd shade of yellow. He curled his lip back. "No." He said, a small growl accentuating his statement. Marluxia chuckled softly.

"No? Saix, dear, I'm not going to _hurt _her. She's ours now. _All _of ours." He purred. Senayax merely watched the exchange, unaware of the dance of power going around her. Saix shook his head, and hissed.

"The Superior trusted me with her." He said, punctuating his words with a low snarl. The two looked ready to fight with the slightest provocation at that point, and both had actually summoned their weapons. Suddenly, Senayax hugged Saix, shaking her head and clutching his coat. Saix stiffened for a moment, before relaxing into the hug.

"No, no, no." She whispered. "No fightin'." She said. It wasn't an order, but both of them put their weapons aside regardless. She looked up at Saix. "Go see Xemnas. Marluxia will take me t'find everyone." She said softly. Saix growled low in his throat for a single instant before letting go. Even as he let go, he'd again shifted his stance to stand in front of his ward, and the berserker aura was still almost visibly shimmering around his body.

"You will watch her well, Marluxia. If not, I will see to it that you are punished." He snarled at the assassin. Senayax merely watched them both in wide-eyed amazement.

Marluxia waved an impatient hand, and said, "Yes, yes, I understand, certain death and all that. Go and find Xemnas, and I'll watch Senayax." He said, practically pushing him down the hallway. Saix stroked Senayax's hair gently for an instant, and then almost glided down the hall to Xemnas's office. Senayax looked up at Marluxia, who smiled at her.

"Now," he said gleefully, "to find _you _some clothing, dear." He murmured, tugging at Roxas' baggy shirt in disgust. She looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

"I thought you were gonna take me t'find everyone?" She said, slightly confused. Marluxia grinned wickedly.

"...Yes. Yes, of course." He purred, leading her down the hallway to his room.

Ten minutes later, Senayax wore the coat the rest of the Organization wore--however, Marluxia had raided _everyone's _closet over time, and was now busily hemming pants and skirts. (Thankfully, the latter had only been found in Larxene's closet...however, those cute little frilly unmentionables he'd found as well would look _lovely _on Vexen...)

She still wanted to wear the large, oversized shirts, so after Marluxia adjusted the first pair of black pants, she took the big and fuzzy black turtleneck sweater they'd taken from Zexion and got dressed. He appraised his work with a small smirk. He knew he was fantastic, but this little fashionable charade merely proved it.

"Marluxia?" She said softly. "Can...can I go find Zexion, mebbe? Or Axel, or Lexaeus? 'Cause...I was s'posed t'do that ten minutes ago." She said softly, with a small smirk. He paused, and raised an eyebrow.

"This is a big castle, you know." He reminded her. She nodded, and tugged on the sleeves of the sweater.

"Yeah, I guess. But...I really only need t'know how to get t'one place right now." She tilted her head back and smiled, lost in her own little world.

"Can you tell me how t'get to th' library?" She asked.

Marluxia's lips quirked in amusement as he gave her the directions and she ran out the door barefoot, sprinting down the hallway. As he watched her go, he observed the lacy panties on his bed and wondered what would happen if he stuck them in Vexen's closet.

-------------

The library was possibly the largest room in the entire castle. It needed to be--the amount of books, scientific journals, studies, essays, and assorted literary bric-a-brac was staggering. It was where the Apprentices spent most of their time, and had taken on a sacred-space quality to them over their reign in the World that Never Was.

Now only Zexion paced the library, his lexicon in his hands as a source of comfort as he ranted towards Lexaeus, who, having become incredibly used to this, merely sat and listened.

"She's _not_ in the infirmary_, _Lexaeus. May I _remind _you I can smell her?_ I_ _don't know where she is. _For all I know, she could be lost inside this huge castle and I'm sure _Xemnas didn't think to give her directions." _He paused. "Or a chaperone." Lexaeus merely nodded. Zexion seemed spurred on by his silence, however, and continued. "Or she's wandering the halls, lost and starving and slowly wasting away, or--"

"Hi, Zexion!" A small, breathlessly happy voice resounded throughout the room. Zexion paused in his rant for a moment, and Lexaeus shook himself out of his passive stupor.

The hero and the schemer both snapped their heads towards the entrance to the library. The little girl that Zexion had spoken of in his rant stood there, golden skin shining with a thin veneer of sweat. Ignoring both their stunned looks, she huffed. "Ayuh, it was a long walk here from Marluxia's room." She muttered. "An' it's real cold, so my feet hurt." She said, wriggling them into the rug with a sigh of relief.

Zexion managed to find a few words as he stared at her outfit. Black pants he was almost certain were once Axel's...and...

"Is...is that my sweater?" He said, as she tilted her head and closed her eyes. She wrinkled her nose, and unlike Saix, who had experience in matters such as divintation, Zexion and Lexaeus both began to get slightly concerned. Then she opened her eyes.

"Um...yes. Marluxia stole it from your closet, but I told him not t'hack it up and make it tiny because it's fuzzy and it's yours." She said solemnly, cuddling the warm cloth closer to her body.

She was wearing his clothing. Zexion stifled a groan. By the seven princesses, that should not be turning him on. She was wearing his clothes. His soft black sweater was on her body and he would just _bet _Marluxia hadn't found a bra either.

He shook any thoughts about that from his head. She was a very young girl and he had no interest in her. It was simple reaction towards any female wearing his clothing. Any female, even one who was so young.

Then the idea hit him that if he wore it now, he could smell her, no matter how far away she was from him at the time. Furthermore, as he looked down at her, he realized, given her odd mixture of Nobody and child, she really might not be all that young...

He shook his head again, and managed a strangled sort of smile. "How lovely." She came up to him, and touched his hand. He looked down at her, and she took it as confirmation to squeeze his hand just a bit tighter. Her eyes were empty of guile or even a feigned innocence as she looked up at him. It was pure, simple concern. He swallowed for a moment, unsure of what to say. Then she spoke.

"Zexion? Are you, um...hungry? I don't know what time it is, but maybe we could get something t'eat." She said cheerfully. She looked at Lexaeus for confirmation of this idea. The large man chuckled, and nodded.

"I'm...certainly supportive of any idea involving food. Zexion?" The bluenette looked between the two of them. Truth be told, he wasn't actually all that hungry, but he was stuck between his superior and a little girl. The little girl may not have sounded scary, but he could see that adorably honest glee at food on her face, and he'd _never _heard the end of it from Marluxia about "what a monster he was" if he made her cry.

(From the guy with the man-eating plants? Yeah, okay.)

He sighed heavily, knowing he'd lost the battle. "Fine. Lexaeus, let's go. Senayax, you're holding my hand so you don't get lost, understand?" She looked up at him, and gave him a brilliant, little-kid smile, all teeth and gums.

"Okay!" She said, winding her fingers between his. He felt the weight of that tiny hand, and as she tugged him and Lexaeus, who had her other hand, down the hall insistently, he knew he should be annoyed. His work had been interrupted, and now was going to be further delayed by dinner.

...And yet...

He wasn't annoyed by that as he should have been.


	3. Rats Writhing

(Hey guys! I just want to make a quick note of something, since I've forgotten to put it up in each chapter--this fic isn't strictly AU. The events of KH1 happened as planned, (except for a few plot-revalent exceptions), CoM never happened, (everyone lives yay!), and Senayax's arrival upsets the events of KH2. Okay?

Chapter's shorter this time. I figured it would give some relief to my poor beleaguered readers. xD I don't own Kingdom Hearts, they're too afraid to accept the yaoi.

This chapter is dedicated to my friend Felix, because he needed the pick-me-up. I love you, Feevar!)

* * *

Senayax burst into the kitchen and surveyed the scene. She immediately began assessing the situation, and the other two followed suit, amused.

The fridge was promptly raided by Zexion, who began taking out bottles of juice, soda, and milk. Senayax stared up at the cabinets, and then looked at Lexaeus. Seconds later, she was scrabbling up his shoulders to get at the cookies on the top shelf. Giggling like she was hiding a secret, she took all the sweets and put them on the table as well. Both Zexion and Lexaeus stopped and watched in amusement as Senayax rushed around and tried to find some fruit. "We should eat healthy." She said. Zexion laughed.

"Sure, if you say so. Do you want to tell everyone else they should come in to eat?" He said. She looked at him, confused.

"How do I do that?" He tapped the big, leatherbound book he held in his hands.

"This." He stated. Her eyes got wide, and Zexion's lips twitched in amusement as he opened his lexicon, and spoke softly. Seconds later, both Axel and Larxene barged into the room. Senayax tilted her head and gave them a distant smile.

"Hello." She said, as she closed her eyes. Larxene, more willing to be blunt than Axel, asked, "What the hell are you doing, Senayax?" She smiled.

"Just...just talking. If I tilt my head I can hear better." Her face was smooth, serene, almost blank. It was slightly unnerving, but then Marluxia stormed in with a shower of sakura accompanying him, and she opened her eyes and smiled for real. "Marluxia!" She crowed, rushing over and hugging him. "Thank you for the underwear!"

Marluxia froze, and Zexion stiffened. Lexaeus merely raised an eyebrow, and Axel got the hell away from Larxene, who already had sparks flying from her fingertips. Demyx, Xigbar, Vexen, Xaldin, Roxas, and Luxord, who had all come in right as the sparks began to fly, (pun aside), all attempted to retreat out the door. So many people ended up getting the door stuck, and they were now stuck there, watching in both amusement and horror.

"Well I...uh...you're the only girl in the whole place?" Marluxia offered. Larxene paused, contemplated this--and then decked him in the face anyways. Senayax giggled as Marluxia spasmed from the lightning-laced punch.

She grinned, and laughed with a deadly sort of cheerfulness before purring, "Well, it _was_ sweet of you. I didn't know you had it in you, Marluxia."

"Whatever nice I had in me just got fried to a crisp by your lighting, you evil bitch." He grumbled, standing up and glaring at her. She merely flashed him an amused feline smile.

"Do I want to know what happened here?" Xemnas asked, as he walked into the kitchen with Saix at his side. Axel shrugged.

"Well, far as I can tell, Marluxia got punched in the face by Larxene for having a lolita moment with Senayax, and apparently it's dinnertime." He said calmly, like this happened every day. (And in the end, it did.) Xemnas sighed.

"Good enough. Just...just sit and eat without killing each other. That's the most you all can do, apparently." He muttered darkly. Senayax tilted her head, and chewed her lip, observing the massive array of food. She shuddered, and an audible growl rolled through her stomach. It was then that Xaldin noticed something. Her shoulder blades were clearly defined through the sweater, even though it was almost three sizes too big. Her clavicle was clear as day, and her skinny frame seemed almost birdlike. Her bare feet were skeletal, and her hands were almost skin and bone. He sighed.

"Senayax, when was the last time you ate?" He asked. She shivered. Everyone paused, and watched her shake her head, trying to shrink into herself. Xaldin pressed forward. "Senayax, can you answer me? No one will get mad. I promise." He said. She held up two fingers. He nodded, and sighed with relief. It could have been worse. "Two days?" He asked. She shook her head.

"No...two weeks." She murmured.

There was a moment of silence before Saix's temper snapped.

He stormed through the kitchen, half-tore a cabinet door off its' hinges, and set two bowls down, a plate, and three glasses with a clank. "This is an order." He said, snatching boxes of cereal, vegetables, and fruit up before setting them down in front of her. "You are not to starve yourself. Furthermore, you will eat. _Now._" He snapped. She shook her head.

"Wasn't...that I didn't want to." She murmured. "Jus'...felt sick. Every time." She shuddered. "It all tasted rotten." Saix narrowed his eyes.

"This won't. I can absolutely assure you. You are a child, in case that fact passed your former caretakers by. They no longer take care of you. We do. Now eat." He said firmly. She watched him with wide eyes, showcasing a mix of sadness and...something that might have been joy. She nodded, and settled into her chair, pointedly shoving the cereal away and taking a cookie out of Zexion's hand.

Zexion went to take it back, but then she turned to him. The full-on pout she gave him actually made everyone _else _feel horribly guilty for no real reason. Zexion himself handed her the entire box without a word. She giggled and opened it, promptly sharing the entire box with everyone.

Dinner was a quiet affair, for the first time in months. Xemnas was simply waiting for the other shoe to drop. However...this time, it was normal. Just a plain dinner. No food fights, no attempted murder, no public molestation, no innuendo-laden conversations, no spiked drinks, nothing that Xemnas had worried about had transpired.

However, since the routine had been so thoroughly broken today, everyone was even more eager to get back to it. Dinner was cleaned within a moment's notice, and everyone disappeared to relax. Senayax, however, had no routine to speak of. She sighed, but perked up when she decided to explore.

She darted down the hallway, and headed down past the library, and into the Hall of Empty Melodies. The castle stretched out in all directions around her, and she smiled, taking the first hallway on the right.

However, what the rest of the Organization knew and she did not, was that their home was more like a labyrinth than a castle. Once she'd run down the first hallway, she'd turned left.

Then right.

Then left again.

About an hour later, she'd tried desperately to backtrack, but she couldn't find her way back. She sighed, shuddering with exhaustion. She looked around, and saw that she was in a tiny courtyard. The grass was soft, and she was too tired to care about the cold. She laid down, and closed her eyes.

Since it was almost midnight, everyone soon followed suit, too exhausted to remember there was a little girl alone in the castle, asleep in the middle of nowhere.

Except Zexion.

He'd noticed her absence, and waited. He was already in his room, and exhaustion was attempting to drag him into sleep. _Surely she's just gone to bed_. He thought, trying to justify falling asleep to himself.

Then he remembered something. In the chaos of the day, no one had really shown her the rooms.

He sighed, and got up out of his chair. He closed his eyes, and inhaled. The typical scents of the castle came to him, with only a faint hint of her presence. He continued on, inhaling deeply every so often. His nose twitched just a bit, trying to smell her.

He followed it to the Hall of Empty Melodies, and winced. This was the place where all the winding paths began, and if this is where she'd started to explore, she could be anywhere. He sighed, and started forward. He wasn't going to leave a little girl out in the middle of nowhere, even if it was going to inconvenience him. He followed the faint trail of her scent into the hallways, and let it guide him.

He continued on until he'd stepped out the doors of the castle, and into a small, dark courtyard. He sniffed the air, and smiled. It was cool, almost minty. Slightly damp and sweet. Then her scent hit him.

He opened his eyes, and saw Senayax, curled up in a ball on the packed dirt. He sighed, and shook his head, picking her up. He was surprised at how light she was, and shifted his arms to hold her better. He pulled her close, her arms around his neck, and inhaled until her scent had taken on an almost tangible quality within his throat.

She really did have the most wonderful smell. It was sweet and dark, without that musky scent most women had. She smelled safe, almost, and warm; like honeysuckle or soap. She shifted in his arms for a second, and his lips twitched in a small smile.

He let the darkness surround him and take him back to his room. The massive bed was still slightly rumpled, tantalizing him. He sighed. He was exhausted. Finding her a room could wait. His deliberations only took an instant, and he immediately set her on the bed, tucking her in under the covers. He turned and sighed heavily, preparing to go back to his work. Then he heard the cloth of the blankets shifting. A soft, breathy sigh reached his ears.

"...You still there...?" She murmured. Zexion froze. The phrase was quiet, as if she was speaking in a dream. Maybe she hadn't even been talking to him. But...

He looked back at the papers on his desk, then at the sleeping girl. He sighed heavily, and undressed, getting a simple pair of pajamas on. He gave in to the adorable little girl, and climbed into bed. He pulled her close, and as he inhaled the little-girl scent of clean laundry, he whispered, "Yes."

* * *

Senayax awoke knee-deep in a bog. She looked around, and all she saw were endless waves of grass; dark, wispy grass making _whushing _noises in an invisible wind. The stilt-houses had gone and left her behind, and she immediately knew the beast had gotten to them. For a second in the grass, she heard a skittering noise, then all fell silent. She tried to move, but the bog merely sucked her in deeper.

Suddenly, she heard a voice--a wheezing, crotchety old voice, one she couldn't quite place a face to--telling her, "_You best be runnin' home now, child. It gets dark 'round these here woods." _She looked around, but no one was there that she could see. Although someone was there, she knew it. She could _feel it._

"Why?" She asked the darkness. The noises of the night stopped, as if the whole world had paused to answer her question. The same sort of silence she felt in her mind whenever she asked a question towards the voice resounded all around her. Then the voice came back.

"_T'Bookeyman walks these swamps at night, girly-girl. 'Member all I tells you?" _It asked in shook her head. The past reached out to her, coming closer and closer. She reached out her hand to snatch at it, but it was like trying to reach out to smoke. It just eased out of her fingers. She closed her eyes in frustration.

"But...but it's not real." She whispered softly. The skittering she'd heard before got louder and louder, as if it was a response to her denial. The wheezing voice chuckled.

"_Y'best be changing yo' position now, my sweet little Yaya. Cause t'Bookeyman..." _Senayax looked up as the voice stopped. The whole world paused again, and suddenly everything felt _wrong. _

A horrific beast with needlelike fangs and spidery legs scrabbled out of the grass, and opened its' mouth, raw pink flesh serving as a stark contrast to the matted and peat-covered black fur. Its' bald rat-tail thumped against the ground, and it smiled at her, giving off what might have been a shriek of laughter. Senayax tried to move, but the bog caught her and pulled her further down.

"_T'Bookeyman be comin'." _The voice finished, just as it leapt at her.

* * *

Zexion was jolted awake by hysterical screaming. He shot up in bed, and immediately fumbled for the lamp, as tiny feet began pounding at his hips. He winced in pain, and yelled out, "Senayax? Senayax?!" The girl was thrashing around in the bed, flailing her legs and screaming. Zexion tried to stroke her hair, but she was thrashing so wildly he could barely get a grip on her. She was still howling at the top of her lungs, and Zexion wondered for a moment how she wasn't already hoarse.

"I en't done nothin'! I en't!" She howled, as Zexion pulled her close. He hugged her tightly, and tried to get his vocal cords working to reassure her, and stop her tears so he could try to find out what was wrong. But she was still beating her fists against him, and sobbing incoherently. Finally, he spoke.

"Senayax? Senayax, please, it was just a nightmare..." He said, mind trying to jolt itself out of stasis to comprehend the situation. She ignored him, and if anything, her bawling became much louder and more hysterical. She screamed again, loud enough that her voice cracked.

"Don't make me 'et grandda! Mamma, please! Please, I don't wanna 'et grandda!" She began to sob, hoarse cries of pleading and pain being torn out of her throat as mucus ran down her chin. Zexion could almost feel the disgust and terror at this, but it was still out of his reach. His hollow chest teased him, the empty space where his heart should've been throbbing and beating against him. He was suddenly grabbed by the overwhelming urge to tear his chest open and take something, anything, just to plug that hole in his chest. He cursed himself for thinking it, but even as he seethed, he held on to her.

He winced in pain as her tiny fists pounded against him, but he held on tight, and yelled, "VEXEN!"

The academic had been half-awake already, and came tromping up from his lab, calling, "What is it _now, _Zexion?"

"Be YAYA! I be YAYA!" Her voice was hoarse and hysterical, screeching like an animal. Zexion was shaking, trying to hold onto her while Vexen stormed down the hallway. Vexen sighed, and opened the door, apprasing the scene. The little girl was kicking Zexion now, trying to fight him off. She twisted and squirmed, and as Vexen fumbled for something to sedate her, she howled, "_THE RATS BE WRITHIN' UNDER MY SKIN!" _

Vexen's hands were shaking as he administered the sedative. It only took a few seconds. It felt like an eternity. But at last, she stopped pounding her fists and feet against Zexion, and fell back asleep. Zexion took a moment to catch his breath, and then immediately retched. It took him a few minutes, but once he'd finished dry heaving, he slid off the bed, and gasped, "Vexen, take her somewhere safe. I...I..." He gagged for another second, then shook his head. "I have to alert the Superior." Vexen merely nodded, and took the girl in his arms, disappearing. Zexion looked down at his hands, and suppressed a shiver.

He _never _reacted that strongly to anything. Ever. This...this was insane. But...but _what had just happened?_

He sighed, and ran up the steps to Xemnas's room.

* * *

Saix woke first. He could hear Zexion coming up before Xemnas did, and he sighed, observing the room around him, darkened by nightfall. It was so warm and comfortable in here... He huffed. "Master?" Xemnas mumbled something unintelligibly, and rolled over, pulling the blanket tighter around him. Saix sighed, and nuzzled his neck. "Xemnas, you have to get up." Xemnas finally opened his eyes.

"Why?" He grumbled, sitting up in bed and shaking out his hair, already annoyed. Zexion began banging on the door, calling, "Superior!" Saix pointed towards the door, and said dryly, "I think something's gone wrong." Xemnas growled, standing up, stretching, and pulling a pair of pants on.

"Everything always seems to go wrong in this godforsaken place." He muttered, stumbling towards the door while trying to tug one leg through his pants while Saix pretended to look away. (But not really. Hey, he was only...oh, wait.) "Always, always, always. If it's not a Keyblade wielder, it's his god damn Nobody. If it's not a god damn psychotic rat-beast coming from a little girl, it's probably the little girl on a sugar high. It's. Always. _Something." _

He opened the door, and glared at Zexion, face flushed and mussed hair hanging around his shoulders. "What. What in the name of all that may or may not be holy is it NOW?" He snapped, already preparing to deliver a scathing lecture that would go on for hours if he didn't fall asleep on his feet. He stopped at the look on Zexion's face. It was a blank, emotionless mask, like it usually was...but something seemed to be bubbling under the surface.

_Like the rat-beast._ He thought, but immediately dismissed it, shivering slightly. Zexion had not moved during his mental processing. "Zexion." He said calmly. The teen simply stared at him for a second. "Zexion." He said, softer this time. This time, he seemed to snap back into place.

"Superior, there's...there's something I think you should know."

* * *

Vexen had carried her down to the lab, and set her down gently. He was itching with thoughts and theories, but he had to clear his mind, just for a moment.

Vexen looked at the young girl on his lab table. The papers he'd left on the desk had fallen on the floor during his struggle to bring her in, but for once, he paid it no mind. The entire lab was pristine, save for a few broken glass tubes, and the bottle of sedative he'd used on Senayax. He drummed his fingers impatiently, and considered the scalpel in front of him.

He could do it. Right _now, _he could do it. He needed to look under her skin, peel it back, and find _whatever _was writhing under it.

She looked so peaceful on the table. Surely she wouldn't mind if he just cut a little...just a bit, just to _see..._

He picked up the scalpel, and pressed it against the crevice between her breasts. She didn't even move. He dug it in a bit deeper--and was promptly hit by a stream of blood. He swore heavily and wiped it out of his eyes, only to see it still gushing. He clamped a hand over the tiny nick and spat blood out of his mouth. He fumbled for a blood clotting cream, and grabbed it, hastily ripping off the lid to smear it on the cut. It bubbled feverently, but finally stopped. He could only stare at the little girl.

"...Vexen? Why is there blood on your face?" Xemnas, Saix, and Zexion had all come down the steps, as Zexion sniffed the air. His eyes narrowed, already reaching his conclusion. Vexen pointed at Senayax with the scalpel, apparently not noticing Zexion's utter fury.

"I was just...going to check...see if there _was _something...under her skin...it was literally like a river of blood..." He shook his head in shock. "Evidently, all that blood has to go somewhere." Vexen looked up, and caught an expression of fury on both Zexion and Saix's faces. He looked geniunely confused. "What?"

Saix's face became feral. "You don't _touch _her." His voice was quiet, but the calmest one of them all, apart from Xemnas...his voice rang with cold rage. Vexen sighed. Really, of course they weren't going to understand, but for god's sake, he was simply examining her. He shook his head in dismay.

"Oh come now. You're being ridiculous. Surely you want to see what's inside her--" Zexion pulled him close by the front of his coat, and Vexen almost jumped in shock. Zexion had idolized him, still respected him and came to him for advice and comfort. But his eyes were narrowed as he hissed with anger. The anger was faint, but it was there. It was enough.

"No. No, I don't. Don't you _dare _hurt her, Vexen. Not now. Not ever. She woke up screaming. No more. _No more. _You have other ways to learn about her and what she is. If you make her bleed again, it will be _your _blood that runs, not hers." He hissed, and Vexen rolled his eyes, trying not to laugh.

"Really, there's no need for drama, Zexion." He said, as Zexion let him go, snorting with annoyance. Vexen huffed, before realizing what had _really _annoyed the boy. "You can't feel anything for her, can you? None of us can, not enough to warrant this." He sighed.

Always with the moods, Zexion. Even as a Nobody, he couldn't escape Ienzo's hissy fits. He nodded towards Senayax, and sighed. "I'm sure she can't feel anything either." He murmured, and there was trace of pity in his voice. Zexion snarled at Vexen.

"It doesn't matter. I _remember _feeling, and I _know _that we shouldn't hurt her!" He said indignantly. Vexen huffed.

"Yes, fine. Whatever. Both of you calm down, honestly. I think I've found something interesting. She makes that change to a monster, yes?" Vexen didn't wait for them to agree before he continued. "Well, all that blood has to go _somewhere._ So it's still in her. If she does it right, she could use it as a _fantastic _weapon, don't you think?" The others looked wary, but eventually, Xemnas spoke.

"Of course. She'll need to learn to fight." He said firmly before turning on his heel and walking out. "I'll alert Lexaeus in the morning." He paused, and thought about that. "Very _late _in the morning. Back to bed, all of you." Saix immediately headed upstairs with Xemnas. Zexion nodded, and picked Senayax up, following suit. Vexen merely watched him go before sighing and picking his pen up. He picked up the charts off the floor, and began to make notes on what had just occurred.

"Little late for you to be up, isn't it, Vexen?" An altogether too familiar voice purred in his ear.

The scientist jumped halfway out of his skin, clutching his papers to his chest. He turned around to see that pink haired_ bastard _hanging upside down on one of the exposed pipes and smiling at him. Vexen glared at him, barely maintaining any semblance of self-control.

I haven't had a good night, Marluxia. First I get woken up to sedate a screaming child, and then when I try to examine her, I get her semi-sentinent blood on my face attempting to asphyxiate me and one of my proteges attempting to strangle me. What do you _want_?" He snapped. Marluxia appeared to become serious for an instant, and flipped up to sit on the pipe normally, before letting go and landing on his feet.

"You." He purred, taking a lock of Vexen's hair and twirling it around his finger.

_...Nevermind. _The scientist grumbled in frustration.

Vexen sighed, and leaned against the table. "Marluxia, be serious." He said, as he massaged his temples and sighed. Marluxia seemed to ignore that. He smiled and came a bit closer, grinning at Vexen in a way that probably should have worried him, but didn't.

"I was." He said in amusement, getting ever closer. Vexen tried to back away slightly, until he realized he was pressed up against the table. Marluxia realized it as well, and pushed him back down on it, a single hand keeping him pinned. "I came to apologize, you see. I didn't mean to hurt you this morning." He brushed a hand down Vexen's chest. "I would never want to break your fragile heart..." He purred. Vexen shook his head.

"We don't _have _hearts, Marluxia." He reminded him. The man stopped for a second, and then pressed his hand against Vexen's chest--where his heart would be. Marluxia bowed his head, and pulled his hand away for a second, tracing the spot with a gentle finger. Then he kissed it, a gentle little kiss that stopped Vexen in his tracks. He stood up straight, and turned to leave.

"We did once, Vexen. Some of us still remember." He said softly.

He shut the door and was gone. Vexen spent five minutes staring at the door before he managed to collect his thoughts, get in bed, and go back to sleep.


	4. The Velveteen Rabbit

(WARNING: THIS CHAPTER TASTES LIKE DIABETES. Seriously you guys, this chapter almost made me cough up insulin. I'm so sorry, I promised gore. D: Give it like, another chapter and a half-ish. Maybe two and a half. I promise when the gore starts, it gets GOOD. Okay? ^^ I don't own Kingdom Hearts, although thanks to fanfiction, I can pretend~

This chapter is dedicated to all my readers. Thank you all~ ^^)

* * *

Zexion walked up the steps, feeling the little girl in his arms shift, shuddering with exhaustion. She had curled close to him, and he could feel her shivering. He held her as tight to his chest as possible, and focused solely on getting up the stairs. Finally, he reached his room, and opened the door. Without even bothering to consider if letting her sleep in his bed was proper, he laid her down.

He sighed. Work could wait. He needed to make sure...she wouldn't hurt herself. He dressed her, tucked her under the covers, pulled them up around her, and sat up in bed next to her, inhaling her scent while he thought about what Vexen had said.

He looked down at her. Of course they couldn't feel. They lacked a heart, pure and simple. They could think, comprehend, and remember, but they couldn't feel. He knew that. But...but it had never bothered him. Life hadn't changed much for him. He didn't care about feelings, he cared about learning. But finally, as he looked down at her, it realized that now it mattered a lot. He sighed, and pushed her hair away from her forehead.

She didn't make a sound for the rest of the night. She didn't wake up until he woke up, and decided that sleeping in until eleven in the morning was long enough. He sat and watched her for a second, let her have one more minute of dreamless sleep. Then he tapped her on the shoulder, and whispered, "Senayax. You need to get up."

The little girl rolled over and curled the blankets like a ball over her. "No." She muttered darkly, cuddling the blankets even closer. Zexion sighed heavily. Why were little girls such pains in the backside? Really, were they all like this, or was it just the ones lacking hearts? He sighed, and tried another tactic.

"Senayax, please. Everyone's downstairs, and--" He inhaled deeply, and found his bargaining chip. "I think Marluxia's making waffles."

The little girl flung herself out of bed so fast that Zexion took a minute to register she'd actually left the room.

Once he'd caught up with her, they both went down to breakfast. The kitchen was immaculate--a sign of Marluxia's handiwork. Most likely, he'd gotten bored of torturing Vexen last night and started to clean. The massive table needed for the entire Organization to sit at one time took up an entire side. The counters, oven, fridge, and microwave, in contrast, were miniscule.

Naturally, the coffee machine had its' own special counter.

Senayax walked in, and turned to Marluxia, who was muttering darkly at the waffle iron, as it hissed and overflowed with batter. "Zexion was holding me ransom for your waffles. Can I have them now?" She asked.

Zexion winced, seeing everyone turn to them in amusement. _Oh, here we go_. He thought, already thinking of ways to murder Marluxia.

Marluxia went into full camp mode, clasping a hand against his chest and gasping with exaggerated shock. Zexion saw the look on Senayax's face, and realized that she had done this entirely to tease him. He'd have to think of a way to murder her, too.

"What?! Zexion, you horrible _monster! _Depriving little girls--little _adorable _girls--of their waffles? You _bitch_." He said, smacking him over the head with the spatula. Senayax was giggling and stuck her tongue out at him, the little monster. Zexion snarled at her, which only made her laugh more as she sat down in between Lexaeus and Luxord. "Here, Senayax," he purred, totally camping it up to be extra bitch, "your waffles. Maybe Zexion will release you from his lecherous grip now." She grinned, and began slathering them with butter.

"Why do I even try?" Zexion muttered darkly as he brewed himself a cup of coffee.

Saix's hearing picked up his low mutter, however, and he replied, "Because our 'family' game of snap-and-snarl is too tempting to resist?" For a second, Axel choked on his coffee, and immediately began gasping for air. Roxas gave him a long, odd look as he giggled and tried to stop the coffee from dribbling out of his mouth at the same time.

"Something _wrong, _Axel?" Zexion asked in a tone that implied if he said yes, he'd be facing the deadly ends of his own chakrams. Axel shook his head, and smirked.

"Oh, no. It's just, that's basically the description for every argument ever in this place." He snorted. Everyone else immediately nodded their assent. Zexion sighed.

"Fair point. Marluxia, just give me the waffles." He muttered. Of course, it wasn't going to be that easy, not when Senayax was still enjoying her little teasing session.

"Don't give him the waffles, Marluxia." Senayax mumbled through a mouthful of syrup-coated waffle. Zexion shot her a deadly look, ignoring the others' muffled laughter.

"Go to hell, Senayax." He growled. The little girl pouted, and turned to Axel, eyes adopting a woe-filled puppy gaze.

"Ax-elll, Zexion's being _meean." _She whined, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

"Don't be mean, Zexion." Axel scolded him, grinning like he was enjoying the torture, the prick. Zexion narrowed his eyes.

"I am not being mean. I am merely stating that I want breakfast, and that Senayax is being horrible on purpose." He grumbled. Senayax tilted her head and closed her eyes again, motionless. The conversations at the table stopped, and everyone turned to her. For a few more seconds, she was silent and still. Then her eyes opened, and her head righted itself. She held out a bite of waffle on a silver fork to Zexion, a clear unspoken demand to eat.

He took the fork, and raised an eyebrow at her. She shrugged her shoulders, and stole Axel's.

"Hey! I was using that!" He yelped. Senayax shrugged again, and began to eat.

"Now I am." She stated as she speared a piece of waffle with her fork. Axel glared at her, and tugged her plate away. She hissed, and sank her teeth into his shoulder, as he yelped hysterically and tried to shake her off. Roxas burst out in laughter, as Saix chuckled and tried to talk Senayax into getting her teeth out of Axel's shoulder.

"I. Want. A normal breakfast. Do you perhaps think, that in some reality we can make possible, this could _happen?" _Xemnas snarled from the other end of the table, slamming his glass down. Xigbar shrugged, and tilted back in his seat slightly to grope Demyx at the table.

"Depends on your definiton of normal." He muttered. He turned to Demyx, who was staring at Senayax intently. "...Um, Dem? You...you're doing okay, right?" He asked, a bit surprised he wasn't squeaking shyly and blushing like he always did whenever Xigbar publicly molested him. Demyx didn't answer for a second, and then smiled.

"I bet she's small enough to fit in the dryer." He said dreamily, already formulating an idea. Xigbar turned back to Xemnas, and nodded in the direction of his boyfriend. Xemnas groaned, already losing hope for the day.

"That's your answer. Also, put a lock on the dryer. Make it mullet-proof." He stated, flipping a page in the novel he'd been reading. Xemnas just ground his cereal between his teeth harder than was necessary. The table was silent for a long, beautiful moment. Of course, that wouldn't last.

Within the silence, Xaldin managed to ask a question that had been nagging him for a long time now. "Vexen, why in the name of god don't you just put a lock on your door?" Vexen jumped, and glared at Xaldin. Marluxia leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and flipping his hair.

"Oh, he tried, babe. Marluxia just hacked the door to pieces with his scythe." Luxord mumbled through a mouthful of cereal. Xaldin blinked, absolutely floored. Marluxia had a _very_ satisfied smile on his face as he discreetly high-fived Larxene under the table.

"God _damn_, he's persistent." Xaldin managed to say. Vexen said nothing, but the glass of orange juice in his hand threatened to crack from the pressure his grip was putting on it. Xemnas sighed. He wasn't even going to bother telling them off.

"Lexaeus." He called, the thought finally coming to him. "I need to discuss something with you after breakfast." The man nodded, and said, "Certainly." Xemnas sighed, and just closed his eyes. He was getting a headache. Saix simply laid his head on his shoulder. It made him feel better, but it didn't stop him worrying about how he was going to explain everything to Lexaeus.

* * *

Xemnas had no need to worry, of course. It had turned out that Zexion was there to put it bluntly. "Her blood is her attribute." He stated. Xemnas gave Lexaeus credit for doing nothing more than raising an eyebrow. "Vexen found out last night when..." He sighed. "When he tried to operate on her." Lexaeus did not speak, but Xemnas noted he'd summoned his tomahawk and a small frown had creased his features.

"So I need to make her bleed, but she can't find out that we knew about it before she did." He said. Xemnas sighed with relief, thanking Kingdom Hearts Lexaeus was both reasonable and brilliant. "So, Superior, what do you expect me to do? I can't stab her."

"You could push her down a flight of stairs." Xemnas offered, a little more eagerly than necessary. Zexion glared at him, and Xemnas actually had to fight not to wilt under it. Lexaeus shook his head, huffing in both amusement and annoyance.

"It would just bruise her and possibly break her bones." He said, glaring at his Superior as well. He thought for a second, already formulating an idea. "I could just show her how to fight. She'll get a cut eventually. I'll talk to Xaldin. We'll get it done." Lexaeus disappeared, leaving Zexion glaring at Xemnas.

"...Push her down the stairs, huh?" He muttered darkly. Xemnas merely turned and walked away, knowing when to fight and when to flee. Zexion rolled his eyes, and went back to the kitchen to finish his waffles.

* * *

After breakfast, Xaldin beckoned to the young girl. She looked up at him, and smiled. "Mm? Somethin' wrong, Xaldin?" She asked. He shook his head.

"No, nothing's wrong. Lexaeus and I are simply going to teach you how to fight, understand?" He said. Xigbar leaned back in his chair, and grinned at the proceedings.

"Hoping this time she's too young to kick hard, huh, Xaldin?" He teased. The Lancer turned and gave him a look that could've frozen blood. Senayax wrinkled her nose, evidently confused. Xigbar howled with laughter, and Xaldin might've attempted to strangle him if Lexaeus hadn't held him back.

"Umm, I don't get it." She announced. Xigbar grinned wickedly.

"Ask Larxene. She'll be glad to give you details." He purred. Xaldin snarled at him, and finally, Lexaeus yanked on his arm and dragged him out, shooting a glare at Xigbar. Senayax piped up, "Can you tell me later?" before Lexaeus brought her outside, too.

Xaldin sighed, and descended the steps, as they headed for the small field-cum-training ground. She followed him, still incredibly confused about what had transpired, but filing it away for later.

"Senayax, even though I'm pretty sure that this is an obvious conclusion, given the situation, you're going to need to learn how to fight." Xaldin said, pacing around the training grounds. The small field on the edge of the castle served as one well enough, and it was where the two had taken her. The little girl gazed up at both Lexaeus and Xaldin as he spoke, and tried to subtly gaze up at Kingdom Hearts. Xaldin laughed.

"You can look, you know. It's all right." He told her. She nodded, and looked up for a moment to commune with the moon. Whatever passed between the two of them seemed to charge the entire field, and both of the elder Nobodies tensed for a moment, before they realized that it had somehow made the darkness lighter.

Xaldin paused for a second, and considered something. "Did you learn any fighting techniques before you came here, Senayax?" He asked. She closed her eyes, and unlike when she was serene, her face was taken over by something alien and hateful for a single moment. Xaldin and Lexaeus both tensed as she opened her eyes.

"I learnt how t'stab someone in the eye and pull it out nice an' neat so you can eat it." She stated matter-of-fact. Then she fell silent. Her eyes shut again, and she didn't move. Xaldin shivered, and he and Lexaeus shared a quick glance.

"...Where did you learn that?" He asked, finally finding the strength to ask a question he really didn't want an answer to. She looked at him and blinked, tilting her head and scrunching her nose in thought.

"Learn what?" She asked, looking at the both of them and raising an eyebrow. Both Xaldin and Lexaeus shivered. Their world in all its' dark glory did not change. But suddenly, that darkness seemed to get far more...deadly.

"...Nothing, Senayax. We'll start with something simple. How about a bladed stick?" As he spoke, Xaldin gave her a long, thin wooden stick. She handled it almost reverently, examining the cherry-colored wood with amazement. She carefully twisted it, and a blade slid smoothly out of the end. She grinned, and held it close, observing the sheen of the blade. She ran a curious finger across the edge, almost close enough to cut her finger. Xaldin took another, and said, "We'll try it with blades out, so be careful." She nodded, and while Xaldin knew Nobodies couldn't feel, he couldn't help but be disturbed by the blank calculation he saw in her eyes instead of fear.

He moved first, lunging at her and pushing the stick foward. She simply stood there, and raised the stick to block. Xaldin put a bit of pressure on her stick, knocking her a bit off balance, and twirled around to get at her arm. Lexaeus had told him about her..."attack pattern" so to speak, but if he was going to help bring it out, he'd be damned if it was more serious a wound than need be.

He lashed out. She raised an arm to block him. An utterly unarmed and unguarded arm.

The blade cut through like her skin was butter. She didn't move. Xaldin felt bile rise in his throat, and whipped the stick out. The second he did, however, blood spurted in a fan out of her arm. Almost mechanically, she moved her arm so her forearm faced him, the fan of blood spurting in his face, filling his nostrils and mouth, choking him, choking him on her own blood--

"That's enough, Yaya." Her arm dropped to her side, still trickling blood as it healed itself. Lexaeus immediately knelt next to Xaldin, trying to help him get the blood off. Xaldin began to spit it out as Lexaeus looked up and saw who was standing there. For a second, Senayax's face became...something more. Something whole. Then she looked at the man who had said her name--the name she'd long forgotten--and said, "Grandda?" The other two men looked at the Nobody, shocked. He chuckled softly, but with little humor.

"No, honey. It's Zexion. Come back home, now." He whispered. Her head tilted to the side again, and she spasmed for a second, dropping her bladed stick. Then, as if nothing had happened, she opened her eyes and smiled.

"Hi Zexion! Did you see what I did?" She chirped, running up to him and hugging him tightly. She didn't take notice of the blood, only asked for approval. Zexion saw the blood--and approved.

"Yes, Yaya. I did." He said softly.

Lexaeus only stared at them both, as Senayax finally looked down at the blood on the floor. She blinked. "...Did I do that?" Xaldin finally got the last of the blood out of his mouth, and stood, looking at all three of the Nobodies.

"Yes. You did." He paused, already deep in thought. "Which means I have an idea."

* * *

A slightly confused Senayax followed Zexion inside, and Xaldin shuddered as he watched them go. Lexaeus helped him stand, and clenched his shoulder gently, offering support. Xaldin sighed, shaking drops of blood free from his braids. "Lex, I need to go clean up. Can you keep an eye on the two of them?" He asked. Lexaeus nodded.

"I suppose. If the blood has any adverse side effects, you need to let me know, understand?" He said. Xaldin nodded.

"Got it." He agreed, disappearing into the darkness.

Xaldin sighed, and reappeared in his own room. He relished his sanctuary, before looking around his room for signs of life. No sign of Luxord, but the duvet on the bed was mussed. He'd probably just come in and read before getting bored. Xaldin undid the clasp holding his braids back, and shook them out. At least there was peace and quiet. He started to unzip his coat, figuring he might as well take a shower and wash whatever blood had soaked into his skin off. He twirled one braid around his finger, and started to undo the band keeping it in place. Then he heard someone scream.

"WHAT TH' _FUCK _HAPPENED TO YOU!?" Xaldin jumped, turning to see Luxord standing in the doorway, absolutely livid. He stormed across the floor and straight to the bed, pushing Xaldin on his back with little effort. "You _ass." _He hissed. "What the hell did you do to yourself?!" Xaldin huffed.

"I tried to help train Senayax, remember? Apparently, her 'attack pattern' is messier than we thought." He grumbled. "I'm covered in blood." Luxord might have said something, but at that point, he was sputtering incoherently with rage.

"Fuck, fucking fuck, you fucking...agh! God, can't you just, you're just..." He trailed off. Xaldin raised an eyebrow.

"Pinned under you?" He teased. Luxord narrowed his eyes, before he realized the truth to that statement. From the look in his eyes, Xaldin was starting to regret having reminded his lover of that fact. He attempted to squirm away, but a single hand grabbed him and held him firm. Xaldin whimpered. Laughing quietly, Luxord grinned at him, leaning down and kissing his forehead.

"Indeed." He said cheerfully, running his spidery fingers down Xaldin's chest. Then he grinned wickedly. "Now. You're going to let me undo those braids of yours, undress you, and stick you in the shower. Savvy?" He purred. Xaldin didn't have time to process this before he was tugged to stand up, swift fingers fumbling with zippers, and gentle hands taking his hair and unbraiding it. He might have protested, but he didn't know what to say. He was shoved into the bathroom, and finally, after looking up at the spurting showerhead, he realized he'd been fussed over.

"I can get in myself, thanks." He grumbled indignantly, knowing it was too late. Luxord merely gave him a wicked grin.

"Good, considering I've got my own clothes to attend to now." He purred. It took a few seconds of relishing the warm water and the sudden feeling of being clean before that hit Xaldin.

"Wait, you're not--"

From that point on, Xaldin's shower was undoubtedly interrupted.

* * *

After about an hour of 'preparing' himself for what lay ahead, Xaldin bit the bullet and went to see Larxene. She used knives. This, sadly, was the best for what he had in mind. He found her where he'd figured he'd find her; inside Marluxia's room, sharing a giant tub of ice cream between them and bitching about something.

The two had some sort of musical on the television, _again, _and the assorted botanical nightmares that grew around Marluxia's room seemed to pulse with recognition at his arrival. Xaldin had to fight back a shudder.

He was well aware he was the third-highest member of the Organization. He was aware he had his power over wind, his lances, and his pure muscular strength as an advantage over the two.

He was also aware of his utter and complete terror at being alone with the two of them.

He had survival instinct, and thus hid close to the door. They didn't seem to notice him anyway, already deep in conversation.

"Hon, seriously. He's just not into you. I'm sorry, but as your fag-hag, I must insist." Larxene said wryly, twirling a bit of hair around her finger. Xaldin raised an eyebrow_. Oh. So it was about Vexen. _He thought darkly. Although he acknowledged to himself in amusement that he wasn't exactly going to tell Vexen about this little conversation. Marluxia sighed heavily.

"But we have a _connection, _Larly! You know how he is, all uptight and so formal, but I know there's a firey spirit inside him waiting to be set free!" He said, waving his hands for emphasis. Xaldin bit back a hysterical snort of laughter. Obviously, Marluxia was talking about a completely different Vexen. _Firey? Vexen? _Larxene apparently agreed with him, since she snorted in derision.

"Marly...I'm going to be honest with you. He has a stick shoved so far up his ass it probably pokes his brain occasionally. He's a jerk, and didn't you hear Zexion and Saix? According to them, he cut open Senayax." She said quietly. Xaldin froze at the door. Marluxia said nothing for a long, painfully slow and quiet second.

"He does that." Marluxia said coolly. "Larly, look. Did I say he was perfect? No. But I know I feel _something _for him, heart or not." He said quietly, and Xaldin had to admit he felt sorry for the man. Vexen wasn't an easy man to get along with, let alone seduce. Larxene rolled her eyes, and huffed.

"He cut open a little girl. Even _I _have standards, Marly. Not cutting open little girls falls under those standards." She paused. "Sometimes." Marluxia laughed, and shook his head.

"Somehow, I doubt that." He purred. She whacked him over the head, and he yelped in pain.

"Hey, bite me." She grumbled. He rolled his eyes, and Xaldin finally stepped forward.

"Larxene, if you wouldn't cut open a little girl, then would you help one?" He said. Larxene expressed no shock at learning he'd been there. She merely stayed silent for a moment. Xaldin tensed, unsure of what her reaction would be. She finally shrugged.

"Does the kid need help? Or do you?" She asked, tilting her head back to stare at him. Xaldin sighed.

"I need help to design a weapon for her." He said, already thinking about how horribly this was going, and so quickly, as well. Both of them snapped to attention, confirming his fears. Larxene grinned.

"You've come to the right bitch." She purred. Marluxia glared at her, huffing pointedly. Larxene snorted. "And yours truly, natch."

"Hey!" Marluxia snapped, throwing a pillow at her. As the two began to argue, Xaldin closed his eyes, counted to ten, and wondered how much he was going to regret this later.

* * *

Senayax stretched and stood up, bored with waiting for Xaldin. She and Zexion had both gone back to the kitchen and were simply sitting peacefully, waiting for him. She drummed her fingers on the table and laid her head down. "Zexion?" She asked. "Um, maybe we can go to the library later?" Zexion flipped a page in his book, and looked down at the little girl. She thumped her head against the table and chorused, "Bored, bored, bored bored bored, soooo bored!" Zexion merely raised an eyebrow.

"If you wish, I can take you, yes. I think we'll have it to ourselves for the time being." He said, as he stood up and offered her his hand. She looked up at him. He wasn't sure whether to take his hand back, but she didn't seem to be considering that. The two watched each other. She didn't blink, and Zexion fought back a shiver, uncertain whether it was from pleasure or fear.

"You don't have to hold my hand." She said softly, breaking the silence. He shrugged, and took hers in his anyway.

"I would prefer to. Come." She gave him an odd look, then shrugged her shoulders slightly and happily followed him down the halls. "The library is usually quite empty, so we should have some peace and quiet..." Zexion trailed off as he heard the familiar strumming of fingers against strings. Senayax peeked around him.

"Issat Demyx?" She whispered. Zexion closed his eyes and muttered through clenched teeth, "Yes. It is." Indeed, the young blonde had, upon hearing them, bounded out and smiled at them both brilliantly.

"Hi Zexy!" He greeted them both, clutching his precious sitar. 'Zexy' grumbled something incoherently, as Senayax giggled. Demyx looked down at her. "I need a nickname for you." He thought, chewing his knuckle. She smiled.

"Zexion calls me Yaya." Zexion winced. _Oh, oh dear hell._ Demyx's eyes widened, as if on cue.

"Ohhh? Why, Zexy?" He asked. Zexion winced, continued wincing--saw Saix coming up behind them and finally whimpered.

"The reason is simple. For one so tiny, Senayax is a mouthful." Zexion pumped a mental fist. _Nailed it. _Demyx, bless his simple little brain, nodded happily.

Saix swept past the both of them and looked down at Senayax. "Yaya." He spoke softly. "Are you...feeling better?" He asked, running a hand across her arm, observing it for damage. She gave him that same winning smile she always gave everyone.

"I'm fine, I promise! Xaldin and Lexaeus taught me how t'fight, too. I think Xaldin went to ask Larxene about my weapons." She said. Demyx winced, shuddering in sympathy. Saix's ears twitched and he sighed, wrinkling his nose in annoyed disgust.

"That might explain the screaming." He muttered. No one else asked exactly what the screaming had been about. "I assume the Superior got involved, considering I don't hear anything anymore, but..." He sighed. "I came to the library for some peace." Zexion groaned inwardly.

Of all the days...honestly. NO ONE, save himself and the other Apprentices, ever frequented the library on a regular basis! He could handle them all--even as he held on to that remembrance of how Vexen had hurt Yaya, he knew the man, who had been his friend since he was a small child, and understood why. But Demyx? Lovable, yes. Naive...well, that too. (Or, less politely, stupid.) Saix? Saix, as in _the Superior's companion_, Saix?

Mother of gods, this was unfair. He sighed and shook his head. The girl was like a flickering flame in the endless twilight of this world. No wonder they flocked to her, but still...

_Mine. _

For a second, as he looked down at her, the world stopped. His mind recognized what his heart did not, could not. _Mine, _his soul whispered, and within the darkest depths of himself, he accepted that.

She'd followed the other two Nobodies into the library and as she looked up at the large shelves of books, she hummed quietly. Zexion watched her move throughout the library, mapping her every movement.

The library was the founders' pride and joy. All of the books they'd contributed to, all the ones they'd written themselves, every last book they'd ever read and kept with them lined the shelves--and there were enough to fill almost the entire room; two massive walls entirely covered by two long bookshelves. Each was stuffed with books upon books, journals upon journals, and of course, the stories they'd read for their own pleasure. It was a proper place, a place where they could remember that they were scientists, that what they had done was worth what they'd lost.

Senayax looked up at those books, and she met Zexion's eyes. It sounded nonsensical to him even as he thought it, but he thought with that one look, she understood why this place was precious to them. She walked up to the shelves, and ran her fingers over the spines. Seeming to observe each and every one carefully, she finally selected a slightly worn one, the cover velvety with age and wear. As she handed it to Zexion, she smiled.

"Will you read this to us, Zexion?" She asked politely. Zexion could only clasp the book and nod as he read the title. He winced. It was a child's book. In fact, it had been _his _book. But...it was what she wanted to hear.

He opened it to the first page as she settled into one of the plush chairs they kept for sitting and enjoying was so massive compared to her faery-like build that both Demyx and Saix could sit in it with her, and once she was settled, he began to read.

He let his voice and fingers guide him through the book. He didn't look up, didn't know if he could meet her eyes when he heard her soft sniffles upon learning the rabbit was to be thrown away. Because he hadn't looked up, had been so lost in the book, in trying to weave the words so tightly and so deftly she could truly believe the rabbit would be whole again, he never noticed when the other members of the Organization had all found their way here, surrounding the little girl as she huddled deep into herself and wished with all her might that the rabbit would be loved again.

He spoke the last magic words. He assured them all the rabbit was beautiful, safe, and loved. He described how the rabbit had become whole again, and as he finished the final page and shut the book, he suddenly noticed that he'd been crying. Senayax was crying as well, face buried between her knees and hood over her head as she tried to sob as quietly as possible. His whole body screamed at him to comfort her. He didn't know how. Couldn't remember how. Then finally, he found the words.

"We'll go into town tomorrow--every town in the whole universe, if we have to--and I promise I'll buy you a velveteen rabbit." He said softly. She nodded.

"Thank you..." She whispered quietly. Then, without warning, she threw herself at him and hugged him. "Thank you so much..."


	5. Gonna Eat 'Em All Up

(The tiniest hint of the gore to come. Small hint, small teases. I'm not a nice person. /grin/ Don't worry, you'll get your spooks and gore and violence soon. XemSai fluff, btw~ Lots.

Sorry, I know this chapter's a little short, but it was a good cutoff--hell, it was originally going to be shorter! But I wanted it to be the last bit of for serious fluff-focus before the midnight meat train rolls in and brings blood and guts with it.

^^ Did everyone have a good week? I hope so. ^^ I dedicate this chapter to all of those that didn't have one. /hug/

Don't own Kingdom Hearts, zotto. This gay is mine and mine alone.)

* * *

Zexion glared at the others as she followed Xaldin out to test the weapons he had designed, daring them to say something. Marluxia looked like he was absolutely _aching _to, but Larxene, bless the little sadist, elbowed him in the ribs before he could. There was silence in the library for a good, long moment until Xemnas spoke. "I suppose we could send her out on a mission while you do your shopping, Zexion."

His voice was the same deep, calm, and strong voice it always was--but Zexion could _hear _the amusement. He bit back a tart reply, and said, "Certainly, Superior. I must request that myself and another member be allowed to accompany her." Xemnas nodded.

"Request granted. Is there a specific reason why you want someone else with you, Zexion?" He said softly. He swallowed hard, and let himself breathe before speaking again.

"Indeed there is, Superior. I cannot fight well, save for my magic and illusions--and if she becomes angry..." He inclined his head. "We've all seen what happens, and I want someone to be able to handle it who is more adept at fighting. That is all." He said. There was silence for a moment. Then Saix stepped forward.

"I will do it." He said flatly. A look of horror flashed across Xemnas's face for an instant and everyone immediately tensed. The Superior was obviously agitated, and what happened next might not be pretty.

"No you will _not, _Saix. You are my own. I will not send you on this mission--we still don't know the extent of her beast state." He said, obviously trying to fight the urge to scream. Someone might have volunteered in his place if it had been anything else, but what was currently transpiring seemed out of their hands. Saix smiled. The smirk was both slightly feral and amused, unsettling everyone in the room.

"That is why I intend to go, Superior. I, better than anyone else here, know what is like to lose your mind in the heat of rage. I am a berserker. The difference between her and I is that I have learned to control my state. She, however, has not. I wish to observe, if the beast arises, and if it does, do my best to control her by shifting into my own berserker form." He stated. Xemnas kept his face a blank mask as he observed his pet. Then he closed his eyes for a moment before opening them suddenly and pinning Saix with his gaze.

"I wish to talk to you, then." He turned to the others and stared them down. "_Alone." _

They didn't need to be told twice. Black smoky darkness wrapped around their bodies and they were gone.

Saix awaited his master's scolding, but it was far more fierce. He pushed him down on one of the couches and pinned him in place, arms shaking as he began to breathe heavily. Saix shuddered as he looked up into his master's golden eyes. They were so madly desperate right now that he was at a loss for words. So he tried to say the one thing he knew that would always work. "Master, I'm all right." He said softly. Xemnas shook his head.

"My pet. You are _not _to put yourself in harm's way for no reason." He spat, trying not to sink against him and just close his eyes to forget this was happening. It was too easy to see his pet mauled, torn to shreds by the rat-beast. He bit back a horrified sob, but he felt bile rolling in his throat. Saix shrugged and began to stroke his master, trying to distract him from his distress.

"But there is a reason, Xemnas. We all must protect her." He murmured. It was the way he said those words that caused Xemnas to drop his arms and sit on the couch with him, looking into his pet's eyes.

"...What have you seen?" He murmured softly. Xemnas knew that whenever Saix said something along those lines, it meant the moon had whispered another of her secrets to him. It was a gift Saix had that Xemnas treasured--although, he would admit, not as much as the diviner himself. The Luna Diviner shrugged haplessly.

"I just saw...a hollow moon, Xemnas. As if...as if it was missing something." He said, shuddering at the remembrance of that horrible sight. A hollow moon that had hung in the sky like an atrophied limb, shriveled and useless. Xemnas nodded and stroked his hair, recognizing his pet's distress.

"Which is why we are collecting more hearts, is it not?" He said soothingly, cuddling his pet closer. Saix shook his head, although he smiled at his master for a moment, grateful for his comforting touch.

"No, no. Not the hearts...it was...it was as if it was missing it's _own_ heart." He sighed. "All I know apart from that is this--we need to protect her. She needs to be put under our control for her own sake and for ours. We need to protect her, Xemnas." He said firmly. Xemnas closed his eyes.

He was letting his Saix, his pet, his precious diviner, leave with Zexion, who lacked any fighting skills to speak of...and a little girl who had a monster living under her skin. But...

"It is because I trust you and what you are, Saix, that I agree to this. That is the only reason why." He stated. Saix smiled at him again and Xemnas quietly rejoiced at the beautiful, if slightly shy grin. He kissed him gently, as Saix pulled him close and whispered in his ear, "I trust you as well, my master."

This time, Xemnas was the one who smiled as he kissed his pet again.

* * *

Xaldin took Senayax down the hallway. He kept her close, attempting to protect her from _that woman. _She was skipping alongside him, trying to keep up. Then she remembered who they were going to see and what had happened that morning.

"Hey Xaldin, what was Xigbar talking about?" Senayax piped up as she followed him down the hallway. He winced and she tilted her head to look at him, amused by his reaction.

"Nothing. Just...nothing." He muttered, knowing _she _was close by and most likely listening. He picked up the pace and she followed behind, small feet pattering against the floor faster in an effort to catch up. He opened the wretched door and stepped inside a too-familiar room. Bright blue walls framing a room with small piles of meticulously arranged clutter and neatly arranged sets of knives were all assembled within. The stuffed plushies on the bed seemed so violently anachronistic that he refused to accept their existence. He shuddered before he handed Senayax the small box that currently housed her weapon.

Senayax observed the small rings, looking at the inside of them and seeing the zigzagging patterns inside the steel. "It looks all jagged." She said, twirling them around her fingers. Xaldin nodded, taking one from her.

"It is. If you twist the rings on your fingers--" He did so, and wicked little steel fangs jutted out on the inside, "--you will be able to fill up this..." He tapped a small bauble-like object in the center of the ring, which she poked and felt depress under her finger. "Thereby filling it with your blood. Aim it at the enemy, and fling them in their direction. We'll need to work on your accuracy, so, god help us all..." He winced, as the petite Nobody who would now _completely_ haunt his nightmares for the rest of eternity stepped out of the shadows.

"...I'm going to teach you how to throw knives." Larxene said bluntly.

Both had incredibly different reactions to Senayax's face lighting up like it was Christmas come early. Xaldin closed his eyes and prayed to a god he wasn't sure existed. Larxene merely wondered how often you could stab squishy, living targets, (perhaps, say, Vexen...), and keep them alive.

_Besides_, she thought, _Vexen totally deserves it for making Marluxia become all reclusive with his man-eating plants. I'm getting bored._

* * *

"Just so we're clear, I have washed my hands entirely of this." Xaldin stated to the other founding members, all of whom had gathered in the library. Vexen raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, knowing that his friend had a tendency to be a tad..._hyperbolic. _Xemnas sighed, and flipped a page in his book, knowing exactly what was worrying him. After all, he'd asked the man to do it, and he wasn't going to regret it. Even if it was a terrible thing to do.

Lexaeus tried not to laugh, understanding that Xaldin had...well, he had a myriad of reasons to be terrified of her, is all. Xigbar was laughing, probably having remembered a certain incident, one Xaldin absolutely refused to speak of. Zexion was deep in thought, or perhaps, like Xaldin had just finished doing, praying for a lack of casualties. Vexen closed his eyes, considering something for a moment.

"Did you leave anyone else down there?" He asked, while he scribbled something down in his journal. Xaldin shook his head, sitting in the chair Xigbar offered him. He managed a small smirk as he shook his head in amazement.

"Absolutely not. Vexen, who would I despise enough to do so?" He snorted. Vexen raised a thin eyebrow. He set his journal down and observed Xaldin, watching him as if his braids had turned to snakes.

"...So you left an incredibly impressionable young girl down there. Alone. With Larxene." He stated, stunned. The other realized this--and all of the other five men currently in the library all looked at each other suddenly, eyes immediately widening in terror. Xaldin closed his eyes, massaging his temples.

"Better her than I." He muttered. Vexen chuckled dryly, sliding the journal he'd been working on towards Zexion for him to examine. Xigbar shrugged, already utterly amused.

"It could turn out to be really funny, you know." He grinned wickedly. Lexaeus narrowed his eyes.

"Let's hope it doesn't." He paused. "For the sake of our genitalia." Xigbar raised his glass.

"Amen to that." He grumbled, downing his shot of whiskey.

* * *

Senayax was now alone with the woman that had fascinated her so. She blushed as she settled into her seat, watching her with wide, adoring eyes. Larxene grinned, knowing she had a fun little quarry within Senayax. She began to pace the room, completely aware that Senayax was watching her every move.

"Okay, kiddo. You know what, fuck the knife-throwing for a bit. There's some things that I, as a woman fully equipped with boobs and the wonders of menstruation, I must divulge to you that no man can." Larxene said, slamming her hands on the table as she grinned. Senayax listened, enthralled by the woman who was currently pacing the room like a predator. Larxene looked down at the little girl and smiled at her. It was a smile that was up to no good at all and thoroughly enjoying it.

"Now. You've got your budding little titties and stuff, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say we're just getting to the fun bits of puberty. Namely, the bleeding." She stated, poking her stomach. Senayax nodded.

"I think some other girls in my village got it, yeah..." She mumbled, clutching her stomach. Larxene nodded, grinning.

"Well, for starters, it sucks. Your stomach hurts, you get bloated, and you get pissed off or really sad at the stupidest of things, even if we don't _have _emotions. But there's a bright side to this." Her smile only grew, and she began drumming her fingers against the table. "You can totally camp it up, yell at everyone and cry at the stupidest of things, and everyone will be so terrified to piss you off that you can get whatever you want." She purred, already remembering how much fun she'd had with poor Roxas. Senayax frowned.

"But that's mean." She mumbled, picturing doing something as mean as _shouting _at Zexion, before shuddering with the horror of the idea. Larxene shrugged.

"Of course it's mean! But dammit, you do what you have to do to survive in a sausage fest, Yaya." She said. Senayax nodded. Larxene held up a second finger.

"Two. Use your feminine wiles to get what you want. This will become necessary, I swear." Larxene grinned. Senayax nodded and Larxene folded her arms, satisfied.

"Good enough for now. You're on your way, kiddo. Now, about the knives..."

* * *

The library was silent for the time being. Xaldin had gone to seek Luxord's comfort, Lexaeus had gone with Vexen to look over some of the samples of Senayax's blood, and Xemnas had sought Saix's company. Xigbar had been dragged off by Demyx to play--and while Zexion knew it was innocent on Demyx's part, he was unsure how long that would last with Xigbar. He smiled in amusement and observed the empty library. He revelled in his solitude for a moment before turning back to his book.

Zexion didn't notice the little girl against his thigh until she pushed her head into his lap, nuzzling him. "Hey, sexy." She purred, putting her chin right between his legs. He dropped his book and immediately fumbled to catch it before it hit her.

"Excuse me?" He managed to strangle out of his suddenly blocked throat. She smiled at him, and as she watched his expression change, she giggled. The smile was so innocent and happy that Zexion hated himself for even remembering feeling any hint of spark.

"Did I do it right, Larxene!?" She called as she climbed up into his lap and straddled him. As Larxene breezed into the room, Zexion glared daggers at her. The nymphet herself was already laughing, ruffling Senayax's hair with a sadistic smirk plastered across her features. Senayax giggled before she pushed her head against Larxene's hand while she petted her.

"Totally. You're on your way, kiddo." She said. In that moment, Zexion suddenly understood why Xaldin was terrified of Larxene. However, he stood his ground, and snarled at her.

"You did this!?" He hissed. Larxene grinned.

"Why, Zexion? Does it turn you on?" She purred. Senayax didn't understand the ferocity that had flashed in Zexion's eyes for an instant. She had understood, however, that he needed to be distracted. So she held up a knife.

"Hey Zexion! Look what I can do!" She crowed as she threw the knife forward--it seemed to slice through the air before landing with a satisfying _thunk _in the wall. She smiled at him, satisfied. "We worked really hard. Also, Larxene said that if I get angry, people will get me fudge, 'specially if I threaten to bleed on 'em. Is that true?" She asked with wide eyes filled with curiousity. Zexion closed his eyes for a second. _Good lord. _

...He also noted that she was still on his lap and wriggling with excitement. Her motions were stimulating a _very _sensitive area and he shuddered, trying to fight down any sensation. He bit the inside of his lip, harder than he'd expected... In fact, hard enough to make it bleed. Senayax saw the blood and gasped. He was unaware of Larxene's shriek of amusement as she began to lick at the blood, whimpering. "Zexion," she cried, "you're bleedin'..." She pressed her delicate little lips against his, trying to clean the blood off.

He knew he should push her away and explain why it was wrong. He should tell her that she couldn't touch him like that, because it meant things that maybe she was too young to know. But he just couldn't. He needed this. It was selfish, but _he needed it. _Needed those frail little arms holding him, hugging him tightly because she was so worried, needed to feel her dusky sweet warmth against him, smell her clean, cool, dark scent, let it all gather in the back of his throat and settle in his chest...

Because when she was that close he could almost feel again.

He let her smile at him, hints of blood on her teeth and lips. His blood. He suppressed a shiver and gave her a smile. "I'm all right now, Yaya. Thank you." She smiled back at him brilliantly. He noticed that Larxene had disappeared. He would worry later. Right now, he could smell her and feel her and practically taste her deep in his throat. It was all he wanted. "We should go see the Superior so we can figure out where we're going tomorrow."

She nodded and slid off his lap. He took her hand and walked down the hall with her. For a moment, the walls shone white and he could almost hear the sound of two hearts, beating in unison.

* * *

The two set off towards Xemnas's office, Senayax cheerfully following beside him, hand pressed tight against his. He clasped it gently as they ascended the steps, watching her delighted gaze take in the splendor of the hallway leading to the Superior's office. Ornately carved marble pillars lined the hall, and an arched ceiling showcased Kingdom Hearts, shining down on them in all its' hollow glory as they walked down the hall. Zexion knocked on the door, and Xemnas replied, "Enter." He pushed the door open as they both stepped inside.

The office's inside was as intricate as the outside--massive shelves stuffed with books lined two walls, and the entire back wall was a window. Kingdom Hearts floated in the sky behind Xemnas' massive mahogany desk. The desk itself had two chairs behind it. One was a massive wing-back purple velvet monstrosity that would have dwarfed almost anyone who sat in it, and the other was a tiny blue suede sofa. These were the chairs in which the Superior and his precious pet usually sat, ready to hear the latest tale of Marluxia's mission to sex up Vexen, a drunken concert at three in the morning, another failed flirtation attempt, the war stories of those who had been foolish enough to get in the way of Larxene when she was in a bad mood, or yet another horrific mindscarring concerning public indecency.

Xemnas had been in his office already, one hand holding a book open and the other stroking Saix's hair, who was sitting in the chair next to him. Zexion bowed politely as he breezed in, Senayax right on his heels. "Superior--"Zexion began, but Senayax cut him off.

"Where are we gonna go tomorrow, Xemnas!?" She asked, jumping to push herself up on the desk and lean closer to him. Zexion tried not to roll his eyes at her utter exuberance. Xemnas chuckled softly and put down his book on the desk, leaning his elbows against it as he thought.

"I was thinking perhaps Hollow Bastion. I believe Vexen's been asking for his old charts back, and we could always use more of our old books. It's just a first mission for you, Yaya, and if you got hurt, I would be very displeased." He brushed his fingers against his desk, tracing a pattern on the wood as he thought. "Also, was your town not near there?" She tilted her head.

"I guess so. But I don't wanna go back, not ever." She stated darkly. Zexion was surprised to feel a soaring sensation in his chest. Perhaps he'd have been able to identify it if he'd had a heart, but it didn't matter. Xemnas nodded.

"We don't want you going back, Yaya. We want you here with us." He said, surprised by how much he meant that. To his further surprise, both Zexion and Saix seemed to agree. Her eyes brightened.

"You do!? Really!?" She cried, clasping her hands together. Xemnas might have laughed if he hadn't assumed--correctly--that it would shatter her happiness.

"Of course. However, I think that since your village was so close to Hollow Bastion, Zexion should go see if anyone has done anything about your absence." He said. Senayax's eyes narrowed for a second and she twitched, the twitch turning into a full body spasm as goosebumps began to ripple across her skin. Zexion froze in shock, trying to will himself to move. Saix tensed, his scar already beginning to thicken and his hair rising to stand on end. She ignored them both anyways, and stepped forward, meeting Xemnas's eyes. He shuddered as he saw the dead-rose color take over the chocolate-brown irises, seeping into both of her eyes and turning both of their entire span a wilted sort of pink.

"...Is he go'n t'go by hisself?" She whispered softly, her voice becoming raspier and more slurred. Darkness began to swirl under her skin. Her head flopped to one side, as if it was broken. Her eyes simply stared at nothingness, neither blinking or shifting as she watched them. Xemnas paused, never having seen the symptoms firsthand, but heard them described. He knew he needed to tread carefully around her right now.

"...I suppose so. It's not a dangerous mission, Yaya. He won't approach anyone and he will not get hurt. This I promise you." He said softly. She nodded. The darkness stopped swirling and suddenly dissipated. Then her eyes snapped shut and she tilted her head. Her face became blank and serene as everyone merely looked on in horror.

"If they do be hurtin' him, I'sa killin' dim all. Gun 'et e'm all up." She said in a monotone. No one moved. No one breathed. They all just watched her.

After a pause, her eyes opened again and she smiled at all of them.

"It's okay, Xemnas! I trust you!" She said happily. She tilted her head and smiled wider. "I think I smell dinner." She turned and walked out, calling behind her, "Come on!"

They all looked at each other. Saix was shaking and Xemnas looked equally rattled. Zexion just closed his eyes, and when the rat-beast sprung to his mind, he conjured up the scent of her and thought of the little girl who was a candle in the darkness of the World That Never Was.


	6. Use Your Feminine Wiles

( I love Xaldin, I really do. Why am I such a jerk to him? I do not know. /grin/ But it's funny, I guess. Always worth funny.

I realized just HOW MUCH I have written for this right now, because I swear to god I thought that, like, next chapter I'd have gore. Except :( I got nothin'. Sooooo yeah. It won't be /much/ longer. It's just a lot of stuff. As long as you like this as much as the gore, I'm happy. ^^

This chapter is dedicated to my muse, because she's not really into setting me up with a new idea. Maybe this will appease her. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, remember? Although even if I /did/, the game totally would've never made it off the cutting-room floor, what with my rainbow smash of gay and the horrific violence that comes in like another chapter I swear to god. xD)

* * *

Everyone arrived soon after for dinner, and Senayax seemed to be waiting for someone. As Zexion opened his mouth to ask, her eyes got wide and Larxene walked in. He shuddered, knowing it was in no way a coincidence. Larxene flashed her a smile, and she grinned back, settling in next to him at the table and taking his hand. Zexion figured he should worry, but right now, she was holding his hand and he didn't care if a meteor happened to fall on the table, so long as she didn't let go.

However, everyone else, by the middle of dinner, was close to killing Larxene. Senayax had taken, "use your feminine wiles" quite seriously.

"Oi." She said. Xaldin ignored her, trying not to let himself rise to the bait. "Hey, sexy, pass the juice." She said cheerfully. Marluxia began choking, trying to hide his giggles while Xaldin looked horrified. Lexaeus was honestly starting to feel pure pity for the lancer--he was stuck with both Larxene and Senayax being obscenely cruel to him, although at least poor Senayax didn't mean it.

Senayax looked at Larxene, who gave her the thumbs up while she began to laugh, burying her head between her arms. Xemnas sighed heavily. Zexion's expression was a mixture of jealousy and amusement, but he would attempt every so often to maintain a poker face. Senayax pouted, pushing her shoulders together to display her barely-there breasts. "Come on, baby! Pass the juice!" She turned to Larxene, smiling nervously. "Is this the part where I take my shirt off?"

Now it was Zexion's turn to look horrified. Luxord's tea caught in his throat as he choked, coughing as he clamped a hand over his mouth to stem a flow of curses. Xaldin took time out of his horrified state to pat him on the back and make sure he wouldn't choke and drown at the table. "No. No. Keep your shirt on please, Yaya. We like to think we aren't pedophiles." Vexen drawled through clenched teeth. Marluxia giggled, and Larxene rolled her eyes.

"Marluxia, we'll discuss your flagrant flirting and kissassery later. For now, Yaya, keep your shirt on unless you're bored. Xaldin, pass her the juice." Larxene said, already tapping her foot pointedly under the table. The lancer breezed it over on a current, then put his head in his hands to hide a shudder.

"God damn it, Larxene, she's like...like..." Roxas paused. "Hey Yaya, how old ARE you?" She shrugged, and sipped her juice. She looked at everyone for a moment, and was visibly surprised when they all seemed to be waiting for an answer.

"I don't know." She shrugged, examining her arms and chest, sticking her legs out under the table and wriggling her toes, apparently trying to see if it would help. Roxas blinked.

"How do you not know?" He said, surprised. She tilted her head and closed her eyes again. Apparently, wherever she went during that time gave her an answer.

"Cause...cause I think maybe I don't have an age. I never knew. I guess I'm kind of old. Larxene says I got boobs." She said matter of fact. Roxas sighed.

"Well, you look like you're almost my age..." He mused. "But...you act so young..." She shrugged.

"Can I be as old as you, then?" She smiled at him. Roxas was at a loss of words, and looked at Axel. He shrugged, and Roxas looked at the Superior, a bit more harried than before. He inclined his head in a slight nod. Roxas sighed with relief.

"Yeah, you can." He said with a sigh. She gave him a small smile, and began to eat again.

"Okay, so we're pederasts now, not pedophiles." Xigbar remarked dryly from across the table, leaning his elbows on the table as he thought. He paused. "Because that's sooo much better." He rolled his eye. (Well, the eyepatch moved too.) Demyx grinned, nodding.

"Uh-huh!" He paused. "...Uh, what if I'm a teenager? Does...does it count?" He said thoughtfully. Xigbar rolled his eye. (And patch.)

"Kitten, don't make me feel old." He grumbled. Demyx giggled. Senayax waved her hand around, bouncing in her seat.

"I'm going to Hollow Bastion tomorrow!" She cried. Marluxia knew he shouldn't say it, and he figured it was probably going to result in a well-aimed book chucked at his head by Zexion, but he _had to do it. _

"Don't forget to keep your shirt on, Yaya." He drawled, swinging his wineglass in the air.

Xigbar and Axel both burst out laughing, and were promptly elbowed in the ribs by their respective lovers.

Xemnas made to say something, but stopped, unsure of what exactly _to _say.

Marluxia saw Zexion clench his fingers against his book, and simply waited.

As if on cue, Zexion's current book sailed through the air and thudded on his head.

He grinned to himself. _I regret nothing. _

* * *

Once he'd gotten away from the irate teenager wielding a very heavy novel, Marluxia had settled into his room. He pushed a few of Larxene's stuffed Carbuncle plushies off the bed and settled in on the squishy, well-worn pillows. He sighed in pleasure and snuggled in. It was shaping up to be a peaceful night, and for once, he thought he'd like it that way.

Of course, it wouldn't last.

"She kissed Zexion." Larxene stated, standing in his doorway as Marluxia looked up. After dinner, she'd seemed eager to tell him something, but he hadn't thought it would be _this_. He quirked an eyebrow, but didn't react much apart from that, already trying to comprehend the situation.

"Why?" He asked, tilting his head and observing her as she sat on his bed. She snorted, remembering the incident.

"Because he was bleeding. Thing is, I don't think she knew what it meant." She groaned, as Marluxia sighed.

"Well, she does behave like she's very young." He stated, shrugging his shoulders as he leaned against his pillows. Larxene rolled her eyes, shoving his shoulder before flopping down on his chest. Marluxia stroked her hair, twirling her strands around his fingertips.

"She's got tits, Marly. She's starting to develop curves. Also, I guarantee that her period's going to start soon." She grumbled, shifting to get closer to her friend. Marluxia tilted his head.

"It's like...in part of her...time has stopped." He said softly. "Like some part of her stopped growing and maturing. Part of her is a teenager, same as Roxas or that brat Sora, but other parts of her are still incredibly young." He shrugged his shoulders. "Perhaps it's the beast." Larxene paused.

"Yeah." She said softly. "Maybe it is." She bit her lip, and fell silent. Suddenly, she turned to him and pinned him with her gaze. He swallowed. She grinned. "We need to talk about Vexen."

"No. No, we really don't." He mumbled, sinking into his bed. Larxene giggled as she sat up and began to speak in a singsong, purring, "I saw him in the shower."

Marluxia's head snapped up so fast she worried for a second he'd gotten whiplash. Then she realized he was fine and grinned wickedly. "I thought you said you didn't wanna talk about Vexen." She purred, knowing that had been a lie in the first place. He snorted.

"Fuck _you, _I don't want to talk about Vexen! How big, how big!?" He snapped, sitting up and glaring at her while clutching his pillow. Larxene giggled.

"Oh, girls don't look-see and te-elll, Marluxia!" She crooned. "Why don't you go ask him yourself?" She purred, figuring he'd just throw the pillow at her and pout.

She hadn't expected Marluxia to throw himself out of his spot on the bed, scrabble towards the door, and thunder down the hallway, shrieking, "VEXEN! VEXEEEEN!"

Larxene tilted her head, watching him sprint down the hallway. On one hand, she could let them perhaps work out some romantic "feelings" in private, and possibly let love bloom.

On the other hand, as Marluxia's designated fag-hag, she could totally videotape the whole thing and blackmail them both with it.

Now, bearing in mind she was the Savage Nymph...how could she, did she, answer this question?

Following in Marluxia's sakura-marked footsteps, she sprinted down the hall and into the lab with a video recorder.

* * *

"Hey, Vexen, how big is your cock?"

The scientist had been mixing bits of Senayax's blood with a few chemicals to try to determine if it differed in any way from human blood when he heard that. He dropped the mixture and it hissed quietly as it ate holes through his coat. He swore and stood up, shucking the top part and sleeves off to prevent burns.

Then the question hit him with the full force of a snowball to the face. He turned around to see Marluxia standing in the doorway and tapping his foot impatiently. Suddenly, the whole lab seemed to be mocking him.

He sputtered, trying to form a coherent thought as Marluxia simply waited. He wheezed, and managed to spit out, "What in the name of god do you need to know _that _for!?" He yelped, clutching the table with one hand to steady himself. Marluxia gave a lazy shrug, a slight smirk gracing his features.

"Uh, Larxene said she saw you in the shower, and she wouldn't tell me. So I had to know, like..._had _to." He stated. Vexen had no answer to that. Frankly, his mind had short-circuited about twenty seconds back, and he was still sputtering. Marluxia grinned at him. "I could totally show you my size."

If Vexen's mind had been short-circuited by the first question, that one officially blew every last fuse. What the dying sparks of his mind managed to tell him is that _really, totally, incredibly, painfully, _turned him on. "That...that won't be...I...uh...ah, I..." He stumbled over his words, shaking his head. Marluxia sighed.

"How about I just come to your room tonight, when you have time to work this out? I mean...if you want me to." He twirled a strand of hair around his finger, and _acted_ (because secretly, he was totally seducing a half-functioning and newly aroused Vexen on purpose), concerned and shy as he said,  
"I mean, you could totally pull rank on me, I'll understand..." He said, pouting at the blonde and cocking his hips slightly. Vexen turned to him, the burned coat slipping down his chest and stopping, (damn you, musculature!), right at his hips.

"I don't go to sleep until almost three in the morning." He managed to gasp. Marluxia smiled.

"That's okay. I like watching the moonflowers at night anyway." He slid a single finger down Vexen's chest, totally and utterly enjoying this, both sexually and mentally, because this was probably the first time he'd managed to shock Vexen _this _badly. "_Alone." _He purred.

Vexen cursed himself for being turned on by that.

* * *

Axel had put himself in charge of finding their little monster girl a home, and he immediately roped Roxas into it. He cornered the little girl, sitting and staring up at Kingdom Hearts, and tugged her hair to snap her out of her stupor. She turned to him, and smiled. "Hello, Axel. Is something wrong?" She asked. He shook his head.

"Nah, kiddo. We're gonna help you out, okay? C'mon, we're going to show you around." He said, and she jumped down from her seat, smiling at Roxas. He managed a smile back, and took her hand. Axel cooed at the proceedings, and Roxas glared at him. Axel laughed, and led them both down the hallway.

"Okay, Yaya. Roxy and I are going to be the ones finding you a room, all right? I promise we'll get you a nice one." Senayax took Axel by the hand, and let him lead her down the hall. Their boots thudded in soft unison on the marble floor, and the skylight that let Kingdom Hearts shine down on them stretched out high overhead. She passed Zexion's door, and blinked, tugging on the sleeve of Axel's coat.

"Axel? Why aren't we stopping there?" She asked, her eyes wide. Axel looked down at her.

"Uh, because we're trying to find you a room?" He said, slightly confused. She shook her head.

"That is my room. With Zexion! Please, Axel, I wanna stay with Zexion..." Her eyes became tear-bright, and she sniffled, rubbing at her eyes with her sleeve. Axel winced. _Ah, crap. _He thought, trying to find the nicest way to break it to her.

"I don't know, Yaya...I don't think Zexion would want you in there..." He murmured. That did it. Her tears spilled over and she began bawling, shoulders shuddering with the effort to be as quiet as possible. Roxas glared at Axel as he mentally flailed, trying to decide what to do.

He began to curse heavily, taking the option that had been most desireable in his mind. This just made her cry harder, howling, "_I'm SORRY!" _The darkness, which had been swirling almost lazily when she had been in Xemnas's office, began to sluice over the underside of that coppery skin, as if it was being dumped over her from the inside. Axel furiously tried to backpedal as Roxas fled to find someone.

"Shit, Yaya, it's fine, it's fine! I swear, if he doesn't let you sleep in his room you can stay in mine, uh, and..." He fumbled for words. She was still sobbing and Axel had no clue what to do. Her skin was beginning to split...

"Come home now, Yaya..." A soft whisper echoed down the hall. Saix and Roxas both stood there. Axel shuddered at the welcome sight, relief washing over him. She stared at all of them with bloodshot eyes. The darkness almost seemed to evaporate. Her skin began to reknit itself, and her eyes turned that gentle brown again. Then she looked around, and saw Kingdom Hearts through the skylight.

"...Hhh...he...no-one wants me h-here, do they? I...I know I'm not really strong...an' I'm not really smart or anything, but I try real hard and I..." She broke off, and began to sob again. "This en't my home..."

It was the excuse the darkness seemed to have been waiting for. Her skin now glowed with a dull ebony sheen, and it was beginning to split again, at a much more disquieting pace. Saix swore quietly, and summoned his claymore, as Axel and Roxas prepared their own weapons.

Then Zexion walked up the steps, some fluffy navy blue blankets in his hands. Senayax turned to him, and he did not flinch, to everyone's amazement. "What're you doin' here...why you be _here..." _She hissed, beating her hands against the floor. Zexion shouldered the blankets, and shrugged.

"Getting our room ready. Xaldin's bringing up a mattress." He stated. Everyone in the hall froze. Senayax tilted her head up and stared at him balefully. The serenity she normally had was replaced by a horrific mangled grin on her face. She hissed quietly, flexing her jaw and snarling. Zexion walked over to her and brushed a bit of her hair behind her head, smiling at her as he balanced the blankets on one arm. "Come on, Yaya. You've got to sleep. We're going to go out on a mission tomorrow...and then we're going to come home." Her eyes began to lighten as she opened her eyes and righted her head, her eyes turning into that chocolate-coffee color they usually were.

"Really?" She whispered softly. The skin began to reknit, and the golden coppery sheen was returning to her skin, as the darkness faded from underneath it. Zexion smiled.

"Really and truly." For a second, she smiled at him with all the innocence of a content young child--

Then suddenly her eyes were rose and inhuman and her teeth were needles crammed into a tiny mouth--and the beast spoke. "_WON'T BE THAT WAY ALWAYS, BOYO!" _It thundered, giggling in her own high, airy voice before it sucked itself back into her features with an audible slurp.

The others watched as Zexion calmly brought her into their room, placed the blankets down, and walked out again, as he shut the door gently behind him. Then he knelt down, carefully tucked his hair behind his ears, and threw up.

* * *

Saix immediately picked up the shaking Zexion, and stroked his hair. "Zexion, breathe." He ordered. Zexion nodded, and took a shuddering breath, before trying to speak. Saix tried to hush him, but Zexion shook his head.

"She's safe. She's sleeping, and she doesn't...know. She's okay." He gasped. Saix nodded.

"It's okay. Come, Zexion. We should report to the Superior." He murmured. Zexion nodded, and they disappeared, all three supporting Zexion as he tried to stop shaking.

Xemnas looked up to see them reappear in his office. As his eyes fell upon Zexion, a strangled cry tore itself from his throat. His mind went back to Radiant Garden and instead of Zexion, he saw Ienzo, the precious baby of their group, sobbing over his latest childish escapade that had ended in tears. He darted around his desk to kneel in front of Zexion, murmuring, "Ienzo? Ienzo, what happened?"

Zexion shuddered and gagged, trying to speak. He clutched Xemnas's hand and looked up at him. "Xeh, the...b-beast, it...she...Xeh-Xeh, she was c-crying..." He sobbed as Xemnas brought him close, stroking the younger boy's hair soothingly.

"Call a meeting." He murmured to Saix, looking up over the top of Zexion's head. "I'll be there soon." Saix nodded. He beckoned to Axel and Roxas, and the trio disappeared. Zexion looked up at him.

"Xeh...let her sleep, okay? We can't tell her." He said. "We can't let that haunt her." Xemnas nodded.

"I know. Come, Ienzo. We'll go tell the others. She'll be all right." He said. The younger Apprentice nodded, and the two disappeared.

The meeting had been assembled quickly--everyone was simply concerned about what had happened.

When the others had managed to explain the whole thing to the rest of the members, Luxord, who had been shuffling his cards the entire meeting, finally spoke. They all paid attention, and Zexion managed to stop shaking and gather his thoughts to listen.

"She just needs something to keep her occupied." He stated calmly. "She needs to do things like normal kids do. I mean, she did live in that crapsack village for god knows how long--she got used to the human routine. I figure we just need to give her things to do. Books to read, games to play, a routine. She doesn't take well to chaos, it seems." He shrugged, as everyone regarded his plan with interest. "Maybe tomorrow, Demyx can let her play his sitar or something." He laid the cards down.

"Oi, think about it like this. We all have our roles here, our friends and routines and missions and talents. She doesn't so far. So we need to help her find them." He grinned, and tweaked his earring. "All that rat'll be able to do is chase its' goddam tail." Xemnas, who had been off in his own little world thinking, finally nodded.

"I think it's most appropriate, Luxord. I am certain we can start arranging a routine by tomorrow." He closed his eyes. "For now, she can sleep with Zexion--" Everyone's head snapped up suddenly as they all looked right at the illusionist. Zexion shrunk into his seat, wishing he was somewhere far away from the meeting room.

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA. Zex, I've known ya since you were frickin' seven! Since when have you been a pedophile?" Xigbar grinned wickedly, shaking his head in amazement. Zexion snarled at him. As everyone watched, the room fell silent. Xigbar actually let that shock him for a moment--after all, it wasn't like the teen to snarl or show any emotion.

"Would you want to deal with her when she was going bonkers, Xigbar?" Demyx said gently. Zexion felt a flash of vague gratefulness towards the Nobody, who was the only one who could (however gently), rebuke Xigbar at all. Xigbar snorted with disdain and ran a hand through his hair.

"As if! But...She's _really_ sleeping in your bed?" He said, stunned. Zexion shook his head.

"It's a desire for companionship. She wants to be wanted, that's all. If it keeps her happy, and it helps her adjust, I'll do it." He said flatly, glaring at the others and daring them to say otherwise. Xemnas nodded.

"Certainly. You are all dismissed, and Vexen?" The blonde Nobody closed his eyes for a second, bracing himself for whatever his Superior was going to say. _If it's about the rabbits, I cleaned up after the vivisection, I'll have him know. _A horrible thought crossed his mind for a second._ Oh, wait, might be about that thrice-damned noodle incident--but of course not, no one can prove I did that! I got rid of all the evidence! _Xemnas regarded him oddly as Vexen gathered his thoughts and realized that he probably wasn't aware of that, and that it should _stay_ that way.

"Superior?" He replied courteously, tilting his head up to glance at him. Xemnas smiled faintly. For a moment, Vexen wondered if it _was _about the noodles.

"Don't stay up too late. It's impolite to keep someone waiting." He purred, eyes flickering to Marluxia for a moment before turning back to him with a cheshire grin. With a sputtered gasp, Vexen had disappeared into the darkness. Larxene burst out laughing, clapping a hand over her mouth and snorting very indelicately as she clung to her chair for support. Marluxia merely snorted in disdain. The others were confused, but judging by who was either mortified or hysterical, they could garner quite a few ideas.

When the others had disappeared, probably to go tease Vexen, Saix and Xemnas were finally left alone.

Xemnas may have lacked a heart, but he did still enjoy a bit of schadenfreude. Saix sighed and waited impatiently, as his master began to giggle and shriek in a most un-Superior-like manner. He was _not_ in the mood to go to sleep and hear him trying to muffle them in bed.

* * *

Zexion sighed while he walked down the hallway, listening to the sounds of everyone preparing for bed and the faint slamming of doors and bottles in the lab, most likely Vexen being sexually frustrated with Marluxia again. He chuckled dryly to himself, before he stopped at his door.

He knew she was in there. He wanted her in there. It wasn't right that he did. But he did anyway, and he wasn't going to fight it. He sighed and twisted the knob, walking in and surveying his room. The bookshelf he'd stuffed with his own personal library was slightly out of place. He smiled with amusement. Evidently she'd taken an interest in his library.

He looked around the room, and cursed himself for not being more interesting. Perhaps she'd paint something on the walls later. It'd brighten up the monotony of the walls, which were a pale silvery-white, and completely _bland_. He got back on his original train of thought, and looked back at the little girl who had begun to call his room home.

Senayax was cuddled in his bed, blankets fluffed up around her as she read one of his books. Her head was at that odd angle again. As she read, sometimes she would nod an assent or shake her head while she flipped the pages. Zexion raised an eyebrow at the title. "_A Study of the Heartless--Ansem the Wise." _She had that serene expression on her face and was flipping each page slowly, savoring the illustrations. He said nothing. She didn't seem to notice him.

Then she spoke. "Who was Ienzo?" She said softly. Zexion sighed. The question was inevitable, but that didn't stop the pain of answering it.

"Who I once was." He said. There was a pause between them for a moment. She was considering his past, while he was trying not to remember. Then she nodded, accepting it. He felt a weight slide off his chest, one he wasn't aware that he'd been carrying.

"Oh." She flipped another page. "I forget who I was." She flipped another page again, and slid her fingers gently across it to savor the texture. "Was waitin' for you." Zexion could only nod. She continued. "I need PJs like yours. They're so soft-looking." She whispered quietly. A small smile livened her lips. "I like the colors." Zexion moved towards the dresser, and got a pair for himself--and a slightly smaller pair he'd never gotten rid of. She tilted her head at him as he laid them on the bed. He smiled at her, unsure if she'd respond. She grinned back, and squeezed his hand before watching him unzip his coat.

"Larxene said I gotta stare when you take your coat off so I can prove something to her. She said it was real important." She said, voice matter of fact. Zexion stared at her for a second. Then he simply shook his head.

"Yaya, frankly, I'll tell her myself. _Xigbar already thinks I'm a pedophile." _He muttered the last bit darkly, as Senayax looked at him with both interest and a bit of amusement.

"Okay." She said. For a second, Zexion could almost believe she was far older than she looked--and also that she was totally making fun of him. He snorted.

"Oh, just get dressed." He muttered. She gave him her same sweet smile and nodded. But he could hear her giggle as she dressed with her back to him, and he merely rolled his eyes as he finished buttoning his top. The two of them turned back to each other at the same time, and their eyes met. She looked at the mattress Lexaeus and Xaldin had brought in, then at him. She quirked a tiny eyebrow. He merely stared back, before raising an eyebrow in response. A silent consensus passed between them.

She got back into his bed without a word. Zexion laughed softly, a rush of amused breath more than anything, and climbed into bed with her, pulling her close and stroking her hair as he inhaled the scent that had tantalized him all day.

* * *

Vexen had been ready to strangle the Superior right then and there. He stormed down the hall, muttering darkly to himself as ice formed around his footsteps. "Xehanort, I _swear, _if we were back in Hollow Bastion approximately ten years ago, I would _smack _you, honestly, you rotten little brat, you were _always _like this, teacher let you get _away_ with it, I should have thrown you to the _crocodiles,_ honestly, why didn't you just hand him _the key to my damn door!?_" He roared, slamming a hand against the wall and feeling it freeze under his sighed. Not that it mattered anyway. Marluxia was indeed persistent.

He began to shuck his coat off, muttering hopefully untrue things about his fellow former Apprentice, swearing every other word or so. He rid himself of everything he'd worn that day and laid down, hoping for some peace and quiet. He sighed in relief at the silence, taking a novel from his bedstand and laying it down next to him. He stretched himself out over his bed before yawning. He was not in the mood to be bothered.

Then suddenly, a portal opened over him. The next thing he knew, Marluxia was sitting on his chest. He sat up on his knees and straddled Vexen, keeping him pinned. "Hey, Vexen." He greeted him cheerfully. Vexen shrieked, and tried to squirm out from under Marluxia.

"You could've warned me!" Vexen shrieked. Marluxia grinned wickedly, ignoring his attempts to move and simply holding him in place with his hand.

"I see you've already prepared yourself." He said, ignoring Vexen's sniff of annoyance. He leaned forward and grinned. "Oh, you _do _want to strangle me, don't you? I find it incredibly amusing, really. I figure a few more nights of this and I really shall drive you so mad that you will fall into my arms and beg me to ravish you, throwing away all this "heartless" nonsense, hmm?" He purred softly. Vexen huffed.

"Marluxia...please. The facts state clearly--" He started to say, but Marluxia put a finger to his lips. Vexen stared up at him, still shocked. The neophyte huffed, blowing a lock of pink hair out of his eyes, which Vexen cursed himself for finding utterly adorable.

"Then the facts are bullshit." He stated. "Cause I totally did_ not _gab with Larxene over an entire half-gallon of chocolate fudge cake ice cream and the entirety of _Hairspray _just to listen to youbitchabout _science_." He grinned while he began to stroke Vexen's hair with deft care. He teased the strands through his fingers and twirled them gently just for an instant before letting them fall back down. He would stroke them back away from his face if they fell too close, smiling in amusement as he did.

In that moment, Vexen let himself wonder how it would feel if he gave that same care to the rest of his body--for only an instant, before mentally slapping himself. Marluxia would _never_ let him live it down if he got aroused right now. Marluxia sighed, and Vexen saw a bit of sadness in his eyes for an instant before he rolled them, sky blue irises glinting with amusement that had been erected solely to hide the sadness lurking there.

"I understand if you don't want to do anything now, Vexen. But mark my words, I am not giving up. I know I'm in love with you, as much as I can be, and if I don't have a heart, I can at least build myself up so when I do get one, it's worth receiving." He said softly, sliding off the bed. Vexen watched him, and Marluxia sighed with amusement. He brushed a bit of the other man's blonde bangs off of his forehead and kissed it tenderly, before pulling away an instant later. He gave him an odd, crooked smile. "Maybe you could help me build myself back up."

With that, he disappeared. Vexen laid his head back, and sighed.

If he did end up_...involved..._with Marluxia, they needed to have a talk about the whole "enigmatic comments and then disappearing" nonsense.


	7. Big Damn Heroes

(Lol your stupid Firefly reference. xD Yes, we've arrived in the nick of time! That makes us BIG DAMN HEROES, SIR! ^^ I don't get to reference my beloved Zoe Washburne enough. Anyhoodle, GORE NEXT CHAPTER INORITE FINALLY. xD That's just the beginning though, and the chapter after...brrr. ^^

By the way--I'll PROBABLY (this isn't set in stone) write a drabble series explaining the things that happened BEFORE FtM. Because a lot of what you get now is OKAY THEY'RE ALL GAY WITH EACH OTHER SO YEAH. And I just couldn't cram it all IN! So I'm just warning you all now, if you really want to see it, ask. Otherwise I'll probably procrastinate. If y'all want it, then I'm just doing it to expound on the other relationships/life in the Org. Just so you know.

Anyways, this chapter is dedicated to the new reviewers I've found since publishing this. You all rock lots! Plus to my readers who don't review, you rock too. I hope that at least you like the story! ^^)

* * *

Zexion awoke the next morning to Senayax putting on her coat, and putting shoes on. She stuffed her gloves in her pocket, and grumbled in annoyance when her sleeves slipped over her hands. He watched all of it in silence and amusement, letting himself hover between sleep and waking. It was a mark of trust, he mused, that he could do this, did do this. The only people who had ever seen him sleep apart from her were the Apprentices, and they were his superiors and best friends, so it did not count. Not like this, anyway.

She turned to him, and began to shake his shoulder gently. "You gettin' up, Zexion?" She whispered. He nodded and rose up out of bed, stretching his back as he slid off the bed and shook his head, still trying to clear his mind from its' sleep-induced stasis.

"Certainly. Will you meet me in the kitchen?" He said, yawning. She nodded. Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind and she tilted her head.

"Um, how do you do that disappearing thing? I en't figured out how, and I think we have to if we're going to Hollow Bastion, right?" She said. Zexion nodded as he chewed his lip for a moment in thought.

"I'll teach you. It's not that hard. It's almost reflexive for us once we understand how, we Nobodies." He stated. She nodded, and breezed down the hallway, coat high enough to show her black boots, which had tiny pink flowers stenciled and painted on. He wondered when she'd had the time to do that, and then figured she might have asked Marluxia. For some reason, a bit of smoky anger--or jealousy, maybe--swirled in his chest at that. He sighed, stood up, and dressed quickly before running downstairs. He smelled trouble--and trouble, as was usually the case, smelled like Axel.

* * *

Senayax knocked on the door, and unlike Zexion, could not sense the trouble that was soon to follow.

"Oi, Yaya. Have you ever had coffee? I must admit, Isa brews a good cup. Wanna try?" Axel grinned to himself, shaking out his hair as the little girl walked into the kitchen. Saix glowered at him.

"Lea, don't do it." He warned his friend, as Axel snorted.

"Don't worry about Isa, Yaya. D'ya want to try some? After all, you're a sensible young lady, far as I'm concerned." He teased. She tilted her head and sniffed the air.

"It smells good." She said. "Guess I could try some..." Axel grinned as he shook the bottle of creamer.

"Hazelnut or vanilla?" He asked as Saix sighed and rolled his eyes. She bit her lip, deep in thought. The others who were currently awake--Xigbar, Demyx, Luxord, Vexen, and Larxene--all observed the proceedings with amusement.

"Hazelnut, please!" She answered, and had accepted the cup just as soon Zexion ran in, shrieking, "_AXEL_!"

The redhead grinned and purred, "Yes?" Zexion was flushed, and had slipped down a good ten of the steps in his hurry. He had smelled the coffee and known it was trouble.

"Are you _trying _to kill her!?" He hissed. Axel rolled his eyes.

"Amazingly enough, no." He deadpanned, sitting back in his chair. Senayax smiled.

"Don't worry, Zexion! I promise not to die!" She chirped, before tilting the mug back and swallowing some. Everyone who was in the kitchen tensed for the explosion of childish energy.

It didn't happen. She sipped it, closed her eyes, and smiled. "It tastes nice." Zexion, still wary of potential side effects, glared at Axel.

"Was it decaf?" He hissed. Axel shook his head. Xigbar snorted.

"As if! Hell, I had a cup of that and I think I was up until five the next morning! It's the stuff Vexen uses to stay awake at ungodly hours!" As if to emphasize his point, Xigbar pointed to Vexen. The blonde glared at him from across the table, slamming his notes down as he cuddled his coffee closer protectively.

"They're not ungodly! If god exists, it put those hours in the day with the rest of them!" He snapped, glowering at his fellow, (although admittedly less serious), scientist. Xigbar snorted.

"Vexen, I think you've just forgotten the hours normal people sleep." He teased. Demyx giggled, but Vexen shot him a death-glare and he squeaked in terror, hiding behind Xigbar. He raised an eyebrow at both Demyx and Vexen in turn. Vexen sniffed delicately.

"I am not a normal person. I am, frankly, brilliant." He waved a hand in the air, drinking his own cup of coffee. "Brilliant people reject commoner's hours of sleep." He muttered with disdain. Xigbar rolled his eyes.

"I'll remember to bring out the fuckin' red carpet next time you walk in the kitchen." He grumbled. Zexion glared at him.

"Yaya's way too young to hear that, Xigbar." He said, pointing at the little girl who had climbed on a stool, putting her feet on the rungs for balance. She giggled, and sipped her coffee.

"Yeah, Xigbar, watch your fuckin' language." She said, already shaking with laughter. Xigbar burst out laughing. She began to laugh harder, and Zexion sighed.

_Too late. _He thought darkly.

Saix sighed, and raised an eyebrow at Senayax. "Will she be all right?" He asked. Zexion rolled his eyes.

"Yes, she's just laughing because she cursed out Xigbar." He muttered darkly. The aforementioned man snorted in amusement as Senayax kept giggling. Zexion glared at her, before continuing. "Also, coffee appears to have no adverse effects on her, thankfully. Axel graciously proved that for us." He muttered. Axel shrugged it off, still grinning. She quieted, and tipped the last of the coffee in her mouth.

"We're goin', aren't we?" She said. The other two turned to her, and Zexion nodded. Without a word, she slid off her chair and walked out of the room. Zexion sighed, and made a "come on" motion to Saix, who followed behind him.

She had stopped at the edge of the castle, and opened the door out into the courtyard. The purple twilight had lightened slightly, signifying day. She tilted her head and stared up at Kingdom Hearts. "Hello." She said, speaking to the moon. The two men watched her, and Saix, who had known communion with the moon, recognized it as almost the same...but not quite. She turned around to the both of them, and asked, "Can you show me how to do that? The darkness thing, I mean." Zexion nodded.

"Just close your eyes, and let it take you. Hold my hand, though. I don't want you getting lost in the Corridor, since you've never been to Hollow Bastion." She nodded, and took his hand, and Saix's too, when he profferred it. She closed her eyes, and the darkness poured out from under her feet, snaking around and leading to a blossoming Corridor. She stepped forward, and all three vanished.

"Keep your hood up, Yaya. We don't know if the Keyblade bearer is here, and we need to keep you safe. Zexion, you know where you're going, correct?" Saix's eyes glinted. "If you're not back in an hour, I'm sending Yaya after you." Zexion managed to give a weak smile, and hugged the little black-cloaked monster girl.

"I promise we'll go shopping for your rabbit after this, okay?" He whispered. She nodded, burying her face in his chest. She inhaled shakily, and when she spoke, Zexion could tell she was holding back tears.

"B-be careful, Zexion...okay? Be safe." He nodded and ran a hand down her back, inhaling her scent one last time before he finally let the darkness take him. She turned to Saix and tilted her head.

"Where are we going?" She asked. Saix pointed towards a large, creaky castle. "Hollow Bastion. The Superior needs some papers from there, and Vexen wants some of his charts back. It's abandoned, as far as we know, even after all this time." Saix shook his head, and got back on subject. "Traverse Town is the first stop before all the worlds--that's why we came here. It was easier for you to get to." She nodded, and smiled.

She began walking over the rocks that surrounded it, as Saix followed behind. Heartless darted around her feet as she got closer. She didn't fight them off, as Saix usually did--she merely scratched their heads behind their antenna or politely requested that they stop trying to trip her by getting so close.

The berserker snorted in amusement, following behind her. Most of them controlled a certain species of Heartless or lesser Nobody, but she apparently had a small dominion over them all. He assumed it was more because of her childish curiousity, along with her total lack of fear. As he walked beside her with a hand on her shoulder, she stopped, and considered something.

"Saix, can we keep one?" She asked. He almost dropped his claymore as he turned to stare at her. Apparently, she hadn't said that just to see his reaction, as she was now seriously considering the option.

"Why?" He spoke, keeping his voice level only with great effort. She tilted her head up at him and smiled. There was nothing but sweet joy in that smile. Saix was still terrified, regardless.

"I think it would be cool. I want a pet, too. It's so lonely in th' castle sometimes, and I think a little Shadow would be better than, like, a dinosaur or somethin'." She twirled a strand of hair selfconciously, grinding one of her feet in the dirt. "Although a dinosaur would be cool too." She said, brightening to the idea. Saix merely shook his head in bemusement.

"I think it's a subject for another time." He said, trying not to laugh. He paused in front of the castle before he opened the door, looking inside at the silent and musty halls. He beckoned to Senayax as they both disappeared inside.

* * *

Zexion stood on the outskirts of the village. From the sound of it, he was just glad there were no pitchforks and torches yet. He stepped forward, and that little boy who Senayax had suggested they kill--(of course it had seemed barbaric at the time, but now he really wished they had)--climbed up onto a makeshift podium.

"I seen them. I seen these men, and they be in black coats, and they took her. They took Senayax, and one of 'em tried to kill me." His chest puffed up. "But I stopped 'em and fought 'em off. They took Senayax, but they didn't kill me." Zexion bit back a snarl. He didn't like getting his hands dirty, but he would have gladly killed that boy for his lies right there. The others began cheering.

"Good on ya, m'boy!" One of the men thundered. The same man turned to the eldest in the group, probably the town elder. "So, we gonna get the kid back, or not?" The old man nodded.

"Of course we are! Savages kidnapped the little girl, and we'd do a great service by eradicating them." The older man said. Zexion closed his eyes and massaged his temples. For the love of Kingdom Hearts, savages? From the people who seemed to be wearing sackcloths and gingham? He managed to give a small snort of amused contempt. He began to listen seriously again, however--they stank of rage and fury, and he needed to gather information.

"So they all wore black coats, eh? D'ya think Leon or any of the others in Hollow Bastion would know somethin' about that? I know none of us ever really visit there, but it's worth a shot to check with 'im, innit?" The first man said. The others seemed to agree, and there were already murmurs of who should go. Zexion's eyes widened.

Leon knew the Keyblade wielder. He would alert him, and that stupid brat would come along and ruin the home they were trying to provide for Senayax. He swore a silent oath as he let the darkness take him back to Hollow Bastion. He needed to warn them and get his Yaya home safely.

* * *

Senayax managed to find a few books to take back with them, most having been written by the Apprentices themselves. The libraries were still half-full, and she managed a small smile while she observed them. The library at home was already so stuffed, she just wondered how they were going to fit more books in it. Saix had already found Vexen's charts and was looking for a few more reports to take back with them when Zexion materialized in front of them.

"Village. Here. Leon, and the Keyblade wielder...Senayax, we need to get you out of here." He said, panting with both exhaustion and terror. She stared at them both for a second. A small, sad smile crossed her lips as resignation flashed in her eyes. Then she began to speak.

"They're gonna come find you, innit they? They're gonna find you all, and they gonna kill as many of you as they can. I bet you'll stop them, but I reckon someone else gonna die first." Before she could cry, she closed her eyes, and smiled.

"You're my family. I gotta protect you, 'nd make sure no one gotta die. I know what to do, don't worry. The moon tol's me so." She said firmly, with more conviction than she felt. Zexion's eyes widened in horror, understanding what she was going to do.

"Don't you dare, don't you DARE!" He screamed, letting the words echo around the room. "Please, it's okay! You don't have to protect us!" He said, letting his composure crack as he tried to pull her to him. She smiled, and took his hand and squeezed it gently. She looked up at him, and her eyes were shining with love, real or otherwise.

"S'okay. I wanna." She paused and inhaled, a small tremble in her voice. "For...my family." She smiled as she let the darkness take her. Zexion reached out for her, but he only caught wisps of shadow. He looked at where she'd been, and knelt before it. He traced the floor, and bowed his head. Saix looked away so Zexion could have a moment to cry. Then he began to summon a Corridor.

"We're going to go get her." He said, as Zexion looked up. "If we are her family, it's the only thing we can do." Saix said firmly. Zexion nodded, and with memories of sadness cutting him like shards of glass, followed him into the Corridor.

* * *

Demyx was simply enjoying his time in the castle. He had decided to cuddle with Xigbar in the plush room, but he had to find his lover first. He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to listen for him. He didn't hear Xigbar, but he heard a Corridor blossom and open. He opened his eyes to see Saix and Zexion.

"Hey, guys! You're back early! How did it go?" Demyx asked, balancing on the balls of his feet and clutching his sitar. Zexion began to struggle to form words, but Saix cut him off.

"They took Yaya. They took her, those people who had her before we did. She...she went so..." He closed his eyes. "So none of us would die. Because we're her family." He said, trying not to sound achingly bitter. Demyx stared, as if he didn't quite comprehend it. Then his eyes narrowed, and even Saix was slightly spooked by the new ferocity in his eyes.

"We're going to get her. Right?" He whispered. Saix nodded, but Zexion interrupted him. His eyes were lit with a barely contained fire, and the determination in his eyes gave both Saix and Demyx pause. He gripped his lexicon, hands white and shaking as he turned on his heel to leave.

"We're going to alert the Superior. I don't know...how many of us would agree to go, but..." He sighed. "We have to try." Demyx nodded and clutched his precious sitar, following right after them as they headed for Xemnas's office.

Zexion burst right into Xemnas's office, and stormed up to his desk. Saix and Demyx followed behind, albeit with a less imposing entrance. The silver-haired man merely raised an eyebrow. "Is something the matter, Zexion?" He said coolly. Zexion nodded.

"Superior...they have her. Have Yaya. They were going to get Leon and the Keyblade wielder, and she went with them...so none of us would die." He said, blinking back tears. Xemnas set down his book, and stared at the three of them. They all watched him and waited for an answer.

"She went with them." He repeated, eyes glazed and dreamy, hiding cold nothingness. Saix reached out to comfort his master as he shuddered. "She went for us." He repeated. They gave him a moment to think, before he stood, and said, "I will alert the others immediately. Meet us in the Place Where Nothing Gathers. I'll be quick." He disappeared, and the others nodded and followed suit.

* * *

Senayax was terrified. She didn't want to go back, but she closed her eyes and thought of all of them to remind herself why she was doing this. Why it was worth it. "Xemnas...Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus..." Her eyes closed for a second. "...Zexion..." She smiled. "Saix, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene...Roxas. Don't worry. I'll protect you all. It'll...be all right. I'm not scared none." She whispered to herself as she clutched her arms tightly against her chest.

Okay, so she couldn't feel anything...but, well, she knew it was scary. Times when you left the people that cared about you to go somewhere you didn't want to see ever again were supposed to be really scary. As she started down to the Corridor of Darkness, and then from there to the roads that led out of the castle, one of the little Shadow Heartless from before bounded up to her. "Kree." It stated, twitching its' antenna. She laughed.

"Kree to you too, little guy." She scratched behind his antenna and walked down the steps of Hollow Bastion, staring up at its' sky, so unlike the one at home.

She was going home--no. Not home.

She was going to the village to protect her home.

* * *

Leon faced the elder of the tiny village to the north, a man named Moza. He was a good man, if a bit overzealous. Leon had initially dismissed it as a boy's melodramatic story about a girl who'd run away...until they'd mentioned men in black coats. He'd told Cid to alert Sora and bring him here, but he didn't know how fast the Keyblade wielder would get here to help.

"I assure you, I will do all I can. These people are indeed dangerous, but I will do my best to bring her home." He said. Senayax heard those voices and stood outside the door, shivering in fear and trepidation. She curled her hand into a fist, feeling her fingernails pierce her palm. She had to gather her strength.

She closed her eyes and thought of the castle, of everyone bustling around, arguing, laughing, or playing games. She tried to remember everyone's voices, their faces, and their quirks. She tried to remember the home they'd shared with her. She was making sure they would still have that.

Whether it was selfish or not, she didn't want to do this.

_Believe. _Her mind whispered to her. _It'll be all right. _She nodded as she stepped forward, knocking on the heavy oak door.

Moza had opened it, and without another word to Leon, took her arm and dragged her off with him. Senayax didn't resist, following behind him as the sparkle left her eyes and they became dead and dry. Squall had stood in the doorway and watched.

He could only look away as the little girl they'd been searching for stared back at him, just before she'd looked away to lose the light in her eyes. He had never seen such resignation and determination etched in such a young face, and he couldn't help but wonder about that desperation in her eyes.

As he heard Sora being greeted by Aerith and Yuffie, he put his head in his hands and swore quietly.

* * *

Xemnas stormed into the Place Where Nothing Gathers and snapped his fingers. The remaining Apprentices were the first to arrive at his summons, giving him an odd look as he clenched the arms of his throne with rage. The neophytes arrived next, and Demyx cast a hopelessly woeful glance at Xigbar as he settled into his seat. Axel went to ask Saix what had happened, but Xemnas seemed like he desperately needed to speak, so everyone sat.

"Well, fuck." Marluxia stated flatly. "Who blew up the lab this time?" He said, already preparing for another lecture. Everyone else except the three who knew what was really going on expected exactly the same thing. Xemnas shook his head.

"The village took Senayax." He stated flatly.

Everyone looked at him. There was a moment of silence in the throne room before everyone burst out with questions. "Superior! Wait, _what? _Why!?"

Vexen had dropped his novel off the arm of his throne and was now staring up at him with wide eyes. Larxene immediately tensed for battle, expecting a threat--Lexaeus and Luxord had followed suit. Xigbar merely shook his head, finally understanding why Demyx had been so downcast at the meeting. Marluxia's head shot up as his eyes went wide, the flower petals he normally shed tracing paths in the air as they fell. Axel and Roxas merely shared a worried glance, but the younger now sat with his Keyblade on his lap and Axel had subconsciously let flames leap around the edge of his fingers. Xaldin looked to Xemnas, obviously urging him to continue. He held up a hand.

"In one moment. Now, realistically, we need her back solely because if she goes into beast form, she'll wake from it alone and figure it out. I don't want that to happen. The fallout from it would be immense." The unspoken words rang through the throne room, and everyone shuddered at their meaning and weight.

_She'd hate us all; she would never trust us again. _

Xemnas closed his eyes, and shuddered. "If you'll allow me to use the word, 'emotionally', we need her back. Because she's a member of this Organization, and because she did this to make sure we wouldn't be hurt. She did it so we could live. I'm not ordering anyone to go. But if we're going to save her, we're going to have to be fast. If we're going to be big damn heroes, we have to be quick." He allowed himself a bit of deadpan before shaking out his hair. "So there you are."

It only took an instant for everyone to assemble their weapons. The ever-loyal assorted claymores, guns, lances, chakrams, knives, shields, scythes, Keyblades, tomahawks, cards, books, and Peggy the sitar now all sat in their owners' hands. Xemnas raised an eyebrow. "The Keyblade wielder may be there." Larxene raised a hand.

"I've got extra knives, then." She stated, displaying all ten. Xemnas bit back an amused snort, having to restrain himself further when Xaldin tried his best to subtly inch away.

"Well, then. Shall we?" He said.

There was one unanimous nod.

The Corridors opened up for them all and they were gone.

* * *

Within Hollow Bastion, Leon was silent, still thinking about the girl who he had seen. She had been so tiny--no more than a child. A child who wore the familiar black coat of Organization XIII. An impossiblity that he had seen with his own eyes. Children did not become Nobodies.

_Had she just been kidnapped?_ He mused. But even as he thought that, he dismissed it. Her eyes had been filled with too much pain and misery for that to be true, far too much.

Leon could hear Sora inside his house, probably being prodded and poked by Aerith and Tifa. They were both worried about him. In all honestly, Leon really couldn't blame them--it had been innumerable times that the Keyblade master had staggered back to their house, bleeding and bruised. But he could hear him coming outside, and he waited for the inevitable questions.

"Hullo, Sora." Leon said quietly, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes for a moment, trying to shake the image of that little girl's face from his head. The young boy smiled, glad to be back with his friends. Donald and Goofy stood behind him, looking decidedly uneasy about being called back so suddenly.

"It's so good to be here, Leon! But...I heard...Organization XIII was in the area...Cid said to come here right away. Is everything all right?" His eyes narrowed at the idea of the Nobodies. "He said they kidnapped a little girl, but her village brought her home safe." He said happily. Leon shook his head.

"We haven't seen any sign of them. As for the little girl...Well, I don't know." He said quietly, deciding not to tell Sora about his feelings--namely, that the little girl might now be trapped in her own personal hell. Sora nodded.

"Well, we should go check for her in her village! She might be able to give us some clues on the Organization! Come on, Donald, Goofy, let's go!" He tore out of the house with his friends right on his heels. Leon's lips twitched in a small smile.

He didn't know the girl. He didn't know whether or not to worry. But Sora was going, and he trusted the kid.

--

They'd locked her in her room. It wasn't for doing a bad thing, but to keep her safe, they said.

They'd all seemed to be filled with a sickly triumphant glee as they paraded her around town, showing her off to all the villagers. She was 'home'. She had come back. They were joyful, but to someone who had torn herself away from the one and only perfect week of love she'd had in her entire life and then came back to a place she hated...well, she certainly didn't see it that way.

The boy who she now loathed with all her soul kept trying to bother her and follow her around. She wished desperately she could just stick her fingers in his eyes, but she knew it wouldn't help the pain. She knew that screaming and crying wouldn't bring her back into Zexion's bed, or that smashing something or breaking bones wouldn't bring her back into the library in the early morning, sitting and reading with whoever was up that early. Nothing was going to bring her back.

Senayax stared at the pale pink walls, and then glanced back at the bed. It seemed empty, cold, hollow, even with the embroidered pillows and stuffed Moogle toy on it. She thought of Zexion's bed--the huge and squishy sagging mattress and the massive warm comforters. The whole room echoed with safety, and she could sleep without fear of nightmares. She knew he read while she was sleeping. She heard the pages turn sometimes, when she woke up in between dreams. It was safe there. It wasn't safe here.

She shook her head. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. They were going to have a big feast to celebrate her return safely home. She didn't know what she was going to do or say. So she was silent now, unthinking. She curled up on the floor and clutched a pillow from the bed, burying her face into it. She didn't know what to do...and for her, it didn't seem worth it to do anything.

* * *

Sora ran through Traverse Town, trying to find that little village. It was on the farthest reaches of the tiny territory, and he knew he'd have to cut through the forest, but he was trying to find the best entrance into it. But...

He paused. His instincts screamed at him and he immediately recognized something wrong. His Keyblade glowed, as if adding its' assent. He clutched it close, and turned around. Nothing. But...he needed to be careful. Something was up.

He kept moving, finally finding a small winding path that would most likely lead him back to the little village. He sighed in relief, and started forward. But then the feeling of _wrongness _returned, and he finally stopped in his tracks.

He felt the swirling darkness just before he reached the edge of Traverse Town and he knew exactly what it meant. He turned around and clenched his Keyblade. "Organization XIII." He spat. Donald and Goofy prepared themselves behind him.

All thirteen of them were there, hoods up and obscuring their faces. Sora shivered, but kept a straight face as he faced them. "You kidnapped a little girl!" He yelled, hands gripping his Keyblade tightly, holding it in front of him as an obvious defense. "That's just monstrous, and you know it!"

One of them stepped forward. "I _really _do not have time for this." He took his hood off, and shook out his hair. Sora gasped, watching him move forward as if to attack. "Look, Sora. I need to go find that little girl we 'kidnapped'. It's important." Zexion snapped. Sora's face contorted with fury.

"So you can use her in one of your sick experiments!? I won't let you!" He shouted. He dove for Zexion and Zexion closed his eyes, remembering the ratbeast, the blood, frozen in his spot--

"Down, Zexion." Lexaeus spoke, deflecting the Keyblade with Skysplitter. Zexion looked at Lexaeus in amazement. He gave him a faint smile before he turned to Sora. "She's ours, Keyblade master. Do not interfere in a matter you don't understand." He turned and strode off towards the village, everyone following right after. Sora glared at their retreating backs, before sighing and shaking his head.

"Now we really have to go get her..." He sighed. "Man, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Just...gotta believe, I guess. Come on, guys!" Donald and Goofy followed right behind him as he continued on.

* * *

Zexion looked up at his friend and even in his misery and worry, he managed to smile gratefully.

"Thank you, Lexaeus...I just...I..." Zexion shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I felt nothing. Can't. We need to hurry, however." He said, standing tall and shaking his hair out before darting off.

Lexaeus sighed and called back to him, "It would be prudent to wait for us, Zexion!"

The teen ignored him, whacking his way through the undergrowth with one of his hardcover books. Lexaeus sighed, while he tried to fight down a smile. "Are we going to let him do this the hard way?" He murmured. Xaldin shrugged.

"Well, we could certainly hack a path through, but watching him do this is much more amusing, I'll grant you that." He sighed. "However, time is of the essence, so..." He summoned a lance and began cutting a swath through the tangled vines and snarled tall grasses. Zexion didn't even notice, pushing past thornbushes and wading through the grass. Lexaeus sighed.

"We don't have the time for this, Zexion." He muttered, picking the younger boy up and setting him down on their makeshift path. Zexion glared at him.

"The Superior ordered us to be 'big damn heroes', did he not? I was simply following orders." He snapped. Lexaeus sighed, and glared at Xemnas. He simply shrugged, fighting back a smile.

"Big damn heroes need to actually _arrive _upon the scene, Zexion." Luxord reminded him. Zexion groaned in annoyance as he followed them down the pathway, still muttering darkly to himself. Lexaeus just sighed.


	8. Let Your Daughter Start the Slaughter

(I gave you guys all the gore you asked for, I hope. ^^ Oh, the beast really is more fun to write than the bastard should be. He/it is such a total monster, but that makes it fun!

I assure you it gets worse from here. Fear not. Also, haha Zexion is crazy-possessive. Even I'm a little like, "Calm the hell down, dude," and I WROTE it. xD

I've started production on the prequel fic, and if you have anything you want to see in it, drop me a line and I'll see what I can do, okay? ^^ I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I doubt Disney would've okayed baby-eating and overtly sexual Cosmic Horrors. xD

This chapter is dedicated to everyone! ^^)

* * *

Sora managed to make it there before they did, speeding through the forest's beaten path. An old man stood at the gate, one who seemed to have already been waiting for them. "Are you the boy Leon mentioned?" He rasped. Sora nodded.

"Ahuh. I'm Sora, that's Donald, and that's Goofy. Can I see the little girl?" The old man nodded.

"Aye. Perhaps you can get something out of her, boy. I'm Moza, by the way." He nodded, and started off towards where Moza had pointed, reaching a tiny wooden house. He knocked on the door, and a pretty young brunette opened it, flour on her face and bits of hair out of what was probably a normally very prim bun. She smiled at him.

"Hello! I'm Allie. Are you here for Senayax?" She asked cheerfully. Sora nodded.

"Yeah! I'm Sora, and these two are Donald and Goofy. May we come in?" He asked. She nodded, stepping aside to let them in. A young man with straw-blonde hair and freckles sat at the table, making a grocery list. He grinned at the three, and got up to hug Allie.

"I'm Keldy, Allie's husband and Senayax's father. Have you come to see her?" His face fell. "We've been so worried, we really have. I'm so glad we found her..." He said softly. Allie hugged him tighter.

"Keldy, she's all right now. That's all that matters." She said gently. He smiled at his wife, and Sora looked away, not wanting to ruin their moment. "You can go in, Sora. She's right down the hallway in the last room on the left." Allie told him, and smiled as she pointed towards the hallway. He nodded and smiled back, beckoning to Donald and Goofy as he went down the hallway.

"Sora, what if the Organization did something to her? Her family sure seemed worried!" Goofy piped up, looking nervous. Sora sighed.

"I really hope not, Goofy. Let's go talk to her." He knocked on the door. "Senayax? Can we come in?" He was met with silence. "Um, Senayax? We're here to help!" He pleaded. He heard some clothing shifting, and then a lock turning as the door opened. A girl who looked only a year or so younger than him stood in the doorway, shivering as if wracked by an internal chill. Sora was unsure of what to say as he stared at her.

He hadn't been expecting this. The little girl he'd invisioned was supposed to be joyful, grateful to be back home with her family. She was supposed to be smiling.

The little girl who stood in front of him had dead eyes, her tangled hair hanging limp in front of her face. Her whole body seemed hunched and wracked with pain, and Sora had to wince as she looked up at him, seeing the utter torture that she was going through reflected in her eyes.

"Are you here t'take me back?" She said softly, and for a moment, there was some hope in her eyes. Sora looked confused.

"...Back where?" He asked. She sighed, and Sora couldn't help but feel bad that he'd disappointed her.

"I guess not..." She bit her lip for a moment, before tilting her head and pointing to the inside of the room."Do you want t'come in? I guess you're not here t'help, but...I'm gettin' lonely." She walked into the room, and sat on the bed, blinking at them owlishly and watching them move, inquisitive eyes following their every step. Sora sat on one of the chairs, and smiled at her. Donald and Goofy were both slightly less sure, but they found places to sit as well. Sora nodded at both of them.

"I'm Sora, and these are my two friends, Donald and Goofy! We came to help...and to find some things out about Organization XIII." He said. Her eyes narrowed. Sora blinked in shock. Her whole body tensed, and she suddenly got both defensive and wary.

"You're that one, en't you? You're t'one I saved 'em from. The Keyblade wielder." She snarled. Sora blinked.

"Wait, saved? You don't understand! They're Nobodies! They would've taken you and made you a Heartless!" He yelled, shocked. She stood up and stamped her foot against the floor in frustration.

"Don't you get it!? I AM a Nobody! Xemnas told me so!" She put her hands on her hips. "They didn't make me anythin'!" Sora shook his head.

This was getting weird now. She was supposed to have been kidnapped. But it suddenly seemed like _they'd _kidnapped her. From the Organization, of all people!

"There's no way you're a Nobody!" He said. "All of the Nobodies have no heart!" He looked sad. "You're...a little girl. What would you have done to lose your heart to the darkness?" She shrugged.

"I dunno. I don't remember anythin'. Zexion said he did an' that everyone else did, but...I don't know me, or what I been before." She closed her eyes, shaking her head sadly. Sora took out his Keyblade.

"This opens doors and hearts both." He said. "Why not minds?" He smiled. "Senayax, I have an idea!" She tilted her head, watching him with wide, curious eyes.

"Oh? What is it?" She asked. He held out his Keyblade.

"I'm gonna help you find your memories!" He said happily. She nodded before she smiled at him. It was a small one, but it was there. He wasn't so bad after all.

"Sora, shouldn't you be careful? She might really be a Nobody!" Donald hissed. Sora shook his head.

"Either way, we have to help her. Okay, Senayax," he called out, "hold still!"

He took his Keyblade and pressed it to her forehead as she closed her eyes. It began to glow softly, sinking into her forehead...until it got stuck. Sora looked shocked. It dissipated before suddenly appearing back in his hands. Senayax opened her eyes. "Did it work?" She whispered. Sora shook his head.

"No...but we'll try again, okay?" He said. Senayax smiled in relief. Sora clutched the Keyblade, but as he raised it up to try again again, Allie walked in.

"Senayax! It's time for the feast! Sora, Donald, Goofy, you're all welcome to stay!" She smiled warmly at all of them. Senayax turned to them, a hopeless expression on her face, pleading with them to stay. Sora suddenly understood the desperation in her eyes. She was alone, without the people that cared about her. He knew he had to stay--he wouldn't let one more person be alone, not if he could help it. Sora put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry. We promise to stay and help." He smiled at her, but the chill in her chest that never seemed to thaw only throbbed coldly.

* * *

They'd brought her out for the feast. That stupid boy, that _fucking _(as Xigbar would have said...) boy. He'd been trying to talk to her all night. She hadn't said one word to him or to anyone else. She hadn't eaten anything they'd set in front of her. Her stomach rumbled, trying to tell her she really should, but every time she lifted a bite to her lips, she'd think of the kitchen that morning, when everything had been okay, and her throat would close up.

"Oi! Mim! Senayax! Gonna tell your stories, huh?" Someone yelled. Senayax now knew his name, but to her, he was still that stupid boy. Mim's dad was the one who had yelled, and at his words, Moza nodded.

"I think it would be fascinating if you did. After all, en't all the time we get a brave boy like you fightin' for his lass!" He said. Mim's father puffed out his chest with pride, and clapped his son on the back. Senayax snorted, and Sora looked amused.

"They're just happy." He reminded her. She nodded.

"I know. But that boy is a pain. I still say he kills flies with his ruler. I seen it." She said softly. Sora ruffled her hair.

"Hey, don't worry about it! I'm sure it won't be too bad, and maybe you can explain it better!" He said. She managed to nod, as Mim stood up first.

"Well, I heard these men, see. These three men, they be in black coats, and they surroundin' Senayax. One of them took her and told her she was gonna come with them. Then I threw a stone at one of 'em, and told them to leave her alone! But then another one took out these spiked wheels, and threw 'em at me. I managed to block the wheels, but they'd already taken her! Then I ran back and tol' the villagers and made sure we found her." Senayax gripped the table, knuckles white and face livid.

"Lyin' dog." She hissed. Sora looked at her with a bit of worry.

"Senayax, it's okay. Do you want to speak now?" He asked. She nodded. Darkness began to spurt up in short bursts underneath her skin, and her whole body spasmed for a moment. Sora watched, eyes wide as he saw a predatorial gleam begin to shine in her eye.

"I do." She stood up, and stormed over to the center of the clearing. She raised a tiny hand for silence, and everyone cheered for a moment before falling silent. She opened her mouth--and hawked a glob of spit where Mim had stood. Sora's jaw practically hit the table.

"That stupid boy issa lyin'_ pigfolker!" _She yelled. (This was from a curse she'd heard in passing from Xigbar, teaching them all an important lesson--if you were going to swear, swear from far away. The results would be hilarious.) Even Sora bit back a snort of amusement.

"They didn't do anythin' to me! He hurted my Marly, and then he threatened 'em again! Axel took out his Chakrams and he told him to go away!" Her face crinkled with concentration as she chewed her lip in thought. "Then, uh, I don't know what happened. I went with 'em. But they din't take me!" Her face became animated again. "No one took me! I went with 'em cause I wanted to! An' I got a home there! An' everyone was real nice, an' I loved them, an' I think mebbe even I remembered happy. But then I heared they were gonna get killed if you came lookin' for me, so I had to come here. I didn't wanna come! I did it t'save them, and now you have to _leave us all ALONE!" _

No one knew what the dark glow was that had started covering her entire body, not even Sora. When she started screaming, they had rushed to help her.

Fools.

* * *

Xemnas snarled, pushing his way through brittle branches as they hit him and drew blood. He knew his wounds only served to make Saix further agitated, but his mind was focused on other things. Zexion was one of them.

The illusionist was keeping pace with them, but it seemed off-kilter. Like he was holding out on something. Xemnas recognized what it was; he'd seen Saix with that same restrained gait before.

Zexion had been pushed far enough that violence had become tantamount in his mind. It was disconcerting, to say the least. Xemnas knew Zexion as a mentally capable manipulator. Direct violence was not his domain. But as he tore through the forest, it had slipped over him like a second skin and even Xemnas, who had chosen a berserker as a companion, had to admit his unease.

Zexion himself had only one thing on his mind. His Senayax. As he kept running, he knew that violence was holed up in his mind, teasing the more susceptible parts and letting its' poison seep in. He ignored it. Not even the prospect of a fight could have pushed him this far. It was only her.

Her scent was so close. It was thrumming through his entire body, tracing delicate patterns throughout his entire being. There were tears in her scent. He could smell them. He could smell _her. _Her whole body was shaking with rage now. He could feel it, he _knew, _because she was _his. _

He closed his eyes and focused on her smile. He would not let rage take over him, even if it was in her name. It wasn't what she would want. He sighed as he let his mind return to the situation at hand. He could hear murmurs, but nothing substantial. However, Saix was beginning to become as agitated as he was.

The others hadn't heard it, but Saix had. His hearing was unparalleled, and it picked up the voices within the village with little trouble. He had picked up the beginning of Mim's speech, and snarled quietly. "Superior, master? I hear the village." His eyes began to harden to golden chips of flint. "He's lying. About her, about us." Xemnas clutched his shoulder as gently as he could, but even then he kept a firm hold, knowing his touch kept Saix on a leash more potent than steel.

"Continue listening, my pet. I'm afraid we must listen for her--"

It had been so loud they'd all heard it.

"PIGFOLKER!" Everyone glanced around at each other, eyes wide with shock. Xigbar began to laugh hysterically, and everyone else joined in, trying to hide their amusement and failing. Zexion sighed and massaged his temples, but he was smiling as well.

"Ah, shit." Xigbar laughed, shaking his head. "There's a good girl."

The rest Saix had transcribed for them. They allowed themselves a glow of remembered emotions before Saix's eyes widened.

"I hear screaming." He whispered softly. "It's her..." His eyes closed as a shudder wracked his body. "Oh, god, no."

Demyx shook his head. "They can't have killed her, right? I mean, they wouldn't...but..." His face fell. "Would they?"

Saix shook his head, fighting down a shiver. "I don't know. But we must hurry!" The Organization practically flew towards the scream, until Saix roared a challenge. The berserker had jumped to the forefront of his mind, and the fact was clear that he was ready to battle. Xemnas skidded to a halt first.

"My pet? Saix?" His voice had risen from it's normal deep monotone to a hysterical whisper. Saix clutched his claymore and swung it forward.

"The beast." He whispered.

They ran even faster.

* * *

Sora watched in horror as the monster split open at little-girl seams, great massive paws and spidery legs sliding out of normal arms and legs, beating furiously against the ground as her voice became higher, harsher, and more grating--until it finally just descended into animalistic screaming. Her mouth had become an alligator's broad snout with a twitching rat's nose sniffing the air.

Her mouth became crammed with needle fangs which gnashed and clattered against each other as she opened her mouth and roared. A bald, almost obscenely pink rat's tail zoomed out and thudded against the ground.

The darkness took on a tangible, furlike texture, and it managed to look almost animal, except...except the angles...the angles, the dead-pink eyes, and the legs, and it all spoke of something alien.

Sora held out his Keyblade, settled into a fighting stance, and aimed his Keyblade straight for the beast. He slammed it into its' skull, letting it sink in. "Come on, Senayax!" He prayed, terrified. "Please god, you have to remember!"

It glowed with a white-hot fury for an instant, and the beast screamed with the searing pain. Sora sighed in relief.

His relief only lasted until the beast lifted a scrabbly black paw and pulled the Keyblade out of its' head before tossing it aside, giggling. Sora staggered back in terror. The beast appraised him with a cruelly amused eye, looking him up and down. Sora felt filthy just from meeting its' gaze. The beast giggled again and lifted its' tail to stroke him, dragging it up from his groin to his neck, tickling his chin and snuffling in amusement.

"_Awww, silly little boy, what did she do to you? You seem so valiant, for someone you've barely met." _It began to giggle again. "_Ooh, do you wanna fuck her? D'ya wanna do the _naaaaasty _with her, little Keyblade wielder? She's open and willing, you know. All golden and ripe for the taking." _Sora's throat tightened as he fought down the urge to gag. The beast advanced, and Sora wailed, raising his Keyblade to defend himself.

Suddenly, he felt darkness spilling into his senses. Sora turned around, but he could only see a flash of soft, inky darkness before a leather bound book slammed into the beast's snout. It shrieked with pain at the impact, scratching at its' nose with a grotesquely distended paw. Sora snapped his head around and found himself staring at the entirety of Organization XIII--and the slate-haired boy that had thrown the book.

"Don't you dare speak about her." He said, voice quiet and low with barely contained fury. "Your filthy, pitiful darkness is nothing compared to her. She wants to be whole. You ask only to destroy, beast." The beast scrabbled his legs around, shifting and twitching as it met their gaze.

"_Oooh ooh oooh!" _He giggled. "_Oh no, I've seen you, Ienzo! I've seen her in your bed, boyo, and I can see inside your thoughts, precious little prettyboy! You wanna eat her all up, don't you? Eat her all nice and slow and make her scream for you! I've seen it! You can't deny your own thoughts! Filthy, pitiful darkness? _I? _Ha! You seem to be looking into a mirror instead!" _It laughed cheerfully, waggling its' tail at him as if to scold him. Zexion snarled.

"You're no better than a Heartless, wallowing in your own damn filth. You can't understand her light, nor should something like _you _even _try." _He spat, sharp remnants of rage filling his body. The beast giggled.

"_Nope! Got it aallll wrong, Ienzo! I am not a simple Heartless! They're lower than my rotting shit, if you'll pardon my lapse in propriety. I, Ienzo, am something of which you cannot dream. Stupid, silly boy! You all tried to control what cannot be controlled, didn't you? They tore out your stinking hearts for it!" _It rolled its' horribly bright eyes, and its' slick purple tongue lolled out of its' mouth.

"_Guess who they fed them to? Me! Me, me, me! I got to eat aalll your hearts! Yours tasted like ink, Ienzo!" _It flicked its' bald tail at Xemnas. "_Ooh, Xehanort. Yours tasted all soft and creamy. It was sooo good." _It smacked its' lips. "_Braig? HA! They gave me one of your eyes, Braig ol' boy! I got to eat your eye!" _He paused in thought as Xigbar paled in shock. Demyx wailed with pain, burying his head into Xigbar's neck and pulling him close.

_"Little too chewy for my tastes, though." _It mused. The Apprentices looked shaken. The beast simply tilted its' head as he leered cheerfully at them. Sora, sickened and trembling, stepped forward.

"Stop it!" He cried. "I don't care if my Keyblade won't work, I'll still fight you! Come on Donald, Goofy!" The beast rolled its' eyes.

"_You know," _it drawled, "_thiiis is why I hate kids." _The villagers had scrambled for the corners of the overturned tables. The beast considered for an instant, and then picked up a hugely pregnant woman with its' tail, observing her for a moment before popping her in its' mouth. "_They're so sappy. Taste like liquid starch." _It crunched the screaming woman around in his mouth, before her screams were abruptly cut off. "_Now, adults? Mmm. They taste so bitter and tough. Much more fun to eat. The little brat inside's a nice bonus--it's like eating a watermelon!" _Sora was now finally visibly shaken in front of the monster. It contorted its' head so it flopped upside down, eyes glaring at them mockingly from below blood and glistening teeth. It opened its' mouth, and it spat out splinters of bone.

"_You can all run now." _It said dryly, before flipping right side back up again and skittering towards the village. Sora had finally thrown up, clutching the ground like it was going to fall from out underneath him.

"Sora, get ahold of yourself and MOVE YOUR ASS!" Axel thundered, picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder. He shook his head and clawed at Axel's back, wailing at the top of his lungs.

"We have to go get her!" He screamed. Zexion stayed behind to watch the burning and bleeding for one last instant. Then he shook his head.

"No." He said softly. "That _is _her."

* * *

The beast let itself do as he pleased, and tore the village to shreds. It let the darkness sink into the smallest crevices of every inch of the village, and it noted with amusement the visible decay its' touch gave everything it brushed against.

It let them run in fear for awhile before snatching them up with lanky paws, eating them one by one and spitting out the bones as it went. It could feel blood trailing from its' mouth, mixing with slobber as it trailed upon the ground. It sniffed the air and decided the fresh night air had irritated its' senses long enough. It turned back to the fire that had been burnt around the tables and crawled over the rubble, taking a swipe at the hot coals and seeing them spark. Flames leapt up out of the sparks within a few moments, tearing their way through the houses that had stayed standing.

It noted that some people had tried to take shelter in those houses, and now watched with amusement as the flames swallowed them alive, charring their bodies and burning away their eyelids. It stuck a paw through the door and fumbled around for the remains of their eyes, giggling as it poked the gooey mess before popping the gruesome feast into its' mouth. It grunted in annoyance as the ooze stuck to its' teeth, and it let its' bloated tongue lap at the film that now coated its' teeth.

It observed the charred corpses, going to examine them to see if anything delicious had been roasted for it. Its' tail wilted in what might have been an attempt to convey sadness as it saw they were all children. It sighed with annoyance and flumped down on the ground, watching the moon become obscured by thick black smoke.

As it chewed on the last few scraps of flesh left on a carelessly tossed-aside bone, it looked around at the carnage and burped, satisfied with the damage it had done. "_Should probably let her wake up." _It mused, licking its' lips in laughed as it considered the idea of what its' disgustingly sweet little host would think. "_Man, I can't wait to see what happens next!" _

It closed its' eyes and let its' darkness bubble back into the body of its' host. The swampy darkness that covered its' body was papered over with golden-brown skin, and as her limbs shrank and reformed, the needle-teeth settled back into her mouth as normal. The last thing to return to normal was her eyes, the dead pink churning within her eyes until they had settled into their normal dark brown.

Then she woke up--naked, alone, and surrounded by a pile of corpses. She looked around and saw nothing but flames, billowing smoke, and bodies. She shrugged, stood up--and promptly spat out blood. She had no choice but to kneel and purge herself of it all, and though it seemed like a long time, it was merely a minute or two that had passed. She looked around, shuddering and weak from the sudden purging of blood from her system.

The whole town had been destroyed. Most people and buildings had been burned, and those people that hadn't had been eaten. Most of the horribly charred bodies--the ones still oozing remains as their burnt skin peeled away from their bodies--were children. The beast hadn't been kidding--kids were too sweet for its' palate. She looked away, fighting down a shudder.

Then she remembered--her family must be here! She knew they had come to save her--that's why she was still alive...wasn't it?

"Zexion? Zexion? Um, Xemnas?" She looked around, calling their names as she cupped her hands around her mouth to shout. "Sora? Lexaeus?" She managed to stand up and stagger for a second before gripping a charred wooden beam for support. She closed her eyes, feeling like she was going to faint. "Oh, man. I...I..." She looked around.

Everything was desecrated, torn to bits, burnt to ashes. Why had she lived...?

_Because you did this. _She jumped, but that voice...she knew it as her own. It wasn't like the moon, the soft voice that spoke to her and told her what to do. This was worse, far worse.

"You be th' Bookeyman, en't you?" She whispered. A harsh snort resounded through her mind.

_I'm the BOOGEYMAN, you stupid hick brat. But yes. You did this. I made you do this. We killed everyone, aren't you glad? They were pigfolkers, after all. _He purred, a high giggle mocking her as she screamed.

"No, _YOU'RE_ THE PIGFOLKER! NOW GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" She roared. It kept giggling.

_I can't leave yet, my darling. I've just started to have some fun, after all. But I suppose my work here is done. Just remember, I'm always inside you...and they knew I was, too. _It said, disappearing back into her was silent again. In that silence, she understood everything.

She turned her head up towards the sky, which had become greasy and dark with smoke. She could still here the faint crackling of wood behind her, still trying to keep its' shape and not lose itself to ashes. She could smell the burning hair, the skin, and those that hadn't made it, who had followed the wood into ash. She shook her head.

"I am never gonna get that rabbit." She finally said flatly, before turning away and running into the woods. Her screams carried throughout the entire forest as she wailed at the top of her lungs.

She didn't stop running, pumping her legs frantically as muck tried to suck her into its' depths, pulling herself out and clawing over everything in her way in a frenzy. She didn't know where she was going, but she hoped she'd know when to stop running away.

* * *

Zexion sagged against a tree as he stared at the destruction. He saw all she had seen, but he could only think of one thing. "She's gone. She's gone and I can't smell her." He murmured. He pressed his gloved hand against his cheek, feeling it's warmth through the leather. The fires were still smoldering, black smoke rising into the sky and obscuring the stars. "We ruined it. We ruined HER." He whispered venomously. He knew they didn't feel hate the same way as they didn't feel love.

But she would never trust them again. He _knew _that.

"Marly? What are we going to do?" Larxene asked. Her eyes fell on the carnage, and she raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I've never cleaned up overkill like this before." She kicked a corpse as a test of its' decay and poked it with the tip of her boot when charred brains began to ooze out. "Oh god eew, they look like oatmeal." She mused, giggling in amusement. Marluxia rolled his eyes.

"That's terrible, Larxene." He chided her. She glared at him and rolled her eyes in amused contempt. He stole a glance and shuddered. "Oh my god, they totally do though!" Xemnas glared at the both of them.

"We don't have time for gruesome black humor. We have to find her." He said shortly. He turned to Sora, who tensed immediately. Xemnas managed a small bemused smile. "You, Keyblade boy. Go. Now. Tell whoever aids you that this happened, and then you can deal with the casualties however heroes do." Sora stared at him.

"...What are you going to do?" He asked. Xemnas closed his eyes, unsure of what they _were _going to do. Zexion , and everyone turned to him as he narrowed his eyes and inhaled.

"We're going to find our little monster girl, bring her back home, apologize profusely, tell her she's loved, and then I'm going to buy her a _velveteen god damned rabbit_, in that _exact same order_." He stood up straight and summoned his lexicon as he stalked off. "I promised her." He muttered darkly. Xemnas nodded in his direction at Sora, who was watching him leave.

"He's your answer. Now go, Keyblade wielder. Remember we won't forget what you did for her...but that we will need you for our plans in the times to come." He stated. They all followed right after and Sora swallowed hard as he watched them leave. Once he was sure they were gone, he turned back to the village and looked at the carnage.

"Donald? Goofy?" He whispered. "I'm scared." He looked at the two of them, eyes wide with terror. They smiled and clasped his shoulders, telling him silently he was not alone. He shook his head.

"I just...I don't know. I know they're bad, but..." He sighed as remembered her agonizing pain at being back at the village and the one single shining moment of hope she'd had when she assumed he'd come to take her back.

"Is she better off with them?" He shook his head, dismissing the thought from his head. "Doesn't matter right now. We have to go tell everyone."

They set off in the opposite direction, straight into the night.


	9. Boggy Swamp

(My apologies if this chapter's a bit short. I decided I'd rather have a short chapter that packed more of a wallop than a longer one that didn't end like this. I hope this satisfies your cravings for gore _and _backstory! ^^ As a bit of a sidenote, we go from gore into sadness then into fluff then into a mix of all of it later on. So this is the last of the "bitchslap you in the face" gore for a few chapters. I hope this is enough to keep you happy until then. ^^

Oh, and in answer to a few people's questions--Roxas is here safe and sound. His reaction to Sora WILL be covered in greater detail.

For the record, a lot of influence for the scenery came from a level/place called Point Lookout in Fallout3. This was actually unintentional--I hadn't played up to that part until after writing this--but it's worth checking out for a comparison if you want.

ALSO: Since like three of my friends have been scarred forever by this, this chapter is GRAPHIC. I am WARNING YOU. The rating has been updated to an M for this chapter. I'll switch it back afterwards, but...that should give you warning enough.

This is dedicated to the people who know I don't own Kingdom Hearts. /HA! COMBINED BOTH OF THEM!/)

* * *

When she opened her eyes, her feet finally having led her far enough, Senayax heard the whushing of grass, and for a second, the forgotten heart within her screamed 'home'.

She tilted her head, and stared at the landscape before her. It was dark, that was for sure. The sky was almost peat-green, and it looked as thick and muddy as the ground did. Little fragments of skeletal fingers or toes reached up from the boggy marsh. She poked one of the fingers hesitantly, as if she expected it to bite. When nothing happened, she pulled the finger out of the muck, wrenched it out of the rotting flesh and socket, and began to chew on it. Then for a second, her lucidity returned.

"Oh, oh eew!" She screamed, spitting it out. She blinked, and tried to recall the last minute of her consciousness. She remembered nothing. All she remembered was that gritty bone in her mouth. She shuddered, and gagged for a moment before standing tall and observing her new surroundings.

The houses, at least, what was left of the few still standing, stood on tall, wobbly, splintered and creaky stilts. The roofs of the houses were lashed together with mud and bark, and the houses themselves seemed to be built out of logs, and something congealed and mushy. She tried to get closer, until maggots began to squirm out of it--from three feet or so away, she could see the oozing white mess that dripped out of the cracks between the logs.

She fought down the urge to gag and pushed herself further on. She knew she had to get out of this place. With each step she took, the entire world seemed to feel more and more _wrong. _The slime that coated her feet seemed like it would go on forever if she'd only press down a bit more and check. Even as she was aware of this, she was overtaken with the horribly compelling urge to push that far down and see how deep down the darkness went.

Senayax shuddered as she kept moving. Sometimes, it was almost as if she could hear a person... She considered for a moment if it was worth calling out into the darkness. She tried to open her mouth, but she couldn't make herself speak. She inhaled deeply and tried again. "Hello?" She called out. There was a rush of wind through the trees and then a high-pitched giggle. Then silence began to ring in her ears again. She sighed.

She kept walking, tripping over bits of unidentifiable muck that smelled like human refuse and dried blood. She really wished she could just go home, but...there was no home for her in the World that Never Was, was there...? They'd lied to her. They'd all lied...she was a monster and no one told her...she was hideous, disgusting. Still they kept their silence.

She knew she should feel some bit of anger or hatred, imagined or otherwise. But all she saw when she closed her eyes was a warm, well-lit kitchen with many people in it, all arguing or talking amongst themselves. She settled herself into that wonderful kitchen seated among all of her family, and let the warmth guide her to a house she knew only once in dreams.

It stood on the tallest of the stilts around, and the wood was covered with soggy dark green moss. It seemed balanced precariously on the knife's edge between falling and collapsing, and even as she stared at it, she could hear the wood groaning and creaking. Senayax looked up at it, and tilted her head. "I have to go up there, don't I?" She whispered to herself.

The silence gave her all the answers she needed. She groaned, and hauled herself up the stilts to reach the door. It didn't provide any resistance--in fact, it practically collapsed when she pushed on it. She stepped over soggy wood and looked inside the house.

It was pretty unremarkable. Simple house with some simple accomadations for those who live in a swamp--a bed of dried grasses as a mattress, deep hole that functioned as a bathroom, and a primitive oven and electric light. Senayax blinked in surprise. Compared to the other swamp houses, this place seemed...vaguely decent. No other house she'd seen had any non-natural lighting, and an oven? No such thing.

She let herself grin bleakly. "Also, on t'bright side...no corpses stuffing the walls to keep out the wind." She let herself joke for an instant, before moving past the first room and into the last room.

She looked at the walls and almost screamed. Written neatly in now-hardened mud was the word, "_YASENA." _She clasped a grubby hand over her mouth, and shook her head.

"Yaya." She whispered quietly. "Oh, god, Yaya...Yaya and her grandda..." The dream kept flickering in and out of her line of sight, and she closed her eyes in an attempt to make it stop.

A creaky, rotting shelf finally gave way and the contents of it thudded on her head and shoulders. She swore with sudden pain before she looked down at what had fallen on the floor. All there had been on the shelf was a book bound in something brittle and greenish-grey and a little bottle of some clear liquid. She opened the book without any hesitation.

"_Deer Diery. My name is Yasena, and I'm thirteen yeers old, I theenk. I be living with my momma, and my dadda, and my grandda. My grandda is very smart. I learnt lots from him, like things about the Booh--the book...the..." _A few frustrated scribbles dotted the page. Senayax blocked out the existence she was living now, and stepped into her old one, letting it sink into her like a new skin.

* * *

_"Diery, my grandda tols me about the Bookeyman. He sais he lives in the moon and eets up little girls who dont listen to thir grandaddies. I think hees so funny! I dont know why momma and dadda don't like him any. He has lots of money for the rest of us heer in Boggy Swamp. Weer all pur. But my grandda gets me nice things like this diary." _

A little girl with dusky rose hair helps her grandfather pluck potatoes out of the thick, muddy soil. He shows her how to boil them so they're edible, and she smiles as she takes in his words. He's never smoked a single pipe, but his voice is thick with all the mud he eats, he says. He adores his granddaughter, who he calls the only good thing to come out of his son's marriage.

_"Diery, this is a week after I've goten you! Grandda says my righting is getting a lot better now. He says I write like he did when he was little. All loopee and scribblee. I think that makes me happie. I kno my grandda thinks I am special and that is why he tells me about the Book...the booley...the...the boogeyman. Him, he tells me lots about him. He sais that i be brayve enough to lern about him." _

Her mother and father disapprove whenever his father tells Yasena stories about the Boogeyman, Hollowmoon. But she listens so well and it gets him out of their hair so they can discuss what to do about him, so they let both of them do as they please. Her grandfather keeps her up well into the night, telling her all she needs to do to defend herself against the Boogeyman. Her parents think it's a joke. Yasena, however, knows the truth, and she listens well.

"_Deer Diery. I know that my momma and dadda argue a lot. So I sit with grandda and I lern how to write properlike. I can do it much better than most kids my age. Theyre all stupid, my grandda saids. Cause they forget about the moon. I think that's silly. How can you forget about the moon? It's all high up in the sky. My grandda says they don't forget the moon--they be forgettin' what be inside." _

Yasena never plays with other kids her age. Other parents gently probe her parents for answers, but are constantly deluged with excuses. The reason her parents don't bother with making her socialize is simple. The less questions from other children and parents asked, the better.

"_Deer Diery. Bad thing happened today. Big kid ask to play with me. He taked me to swamp, and then he tell me to sit down. So I do. Then he pulls his pants down and shows me his peen. It's real uglee an' rinkled. En't never seen one like it. He tells me I gotta play like dem other gurls did and put it in my mouf. I said no cus its so uglee. Then he tried to maik me put it in. I git skeert and den I reelize that I still have my joos boddle from when I got a drink from the playground. So I take the boddle an' I hit him wif it. It break on the side of his face an' now its all jagged. Hes still angree and then he tried to put it all inside me. So I take th' boddle an stick it in his eye." _

She watches as she holds the wide end of the bottle steady, leaving the neck of the bottle to stay firmly entrenched within his eye. He won't stop screaming. She hears a high-pitched giggle deep within her, and she giggles in response. Then she starts to think about what to do to stop the screaming.

_"Diery, so's I push it in furder. Den I take mud and I put it in his mouf. He stop movin' afters awhile. I try to pull de boddle out. But it won't come out cus its' stuck. So I put my fut down on him an' I pull it. It come free wif a wet pop an' it sounded so gross. Yu just had to be dere, Diery. But now I dunno what tu do wif him so's I shove him in de swamp. Th' mud eets him up an he gone. It take long time. His peen the last thing to dispeer under th' mud. It makes a mess while he go."_

The other little girls are happy. They know what she has done. The adults don't know. The boys know, and they fear her.

The Bookeyman knows, 'cuz he made her do it.

Whatever may have happened in that swamp, her parents are almost done with their ideas and planning. Now they just need to find the one necessary ingredient. Yasena is unaware of what they are doing, and continues to listen to her grandfather's tales.

"_Dear Diary, I finally learned how to spell your name right! I am so proud. My grandda been telling me a lot more tales for awhile. I listen like I always do, cause I know he is telling me somethin' important an' all, but he seems all nervouslike. I dunno what to tell him cause I dunno what is going on. So I tell him I won't do anything silly if he goes away, and let him mutter to hisself as he eets one of the potatoes from the mud all raw and grimie." _

The grandfather was a medicine man, back when that mattered. The earth tells him her secrets when she believes he needs to know. He knows that his son and his daughter-in-law are going to kill him. He's saved up a lot of gold all his life, and they've finally decided they want it. He chuckles to himself, and looks at Yasena. She is a smart girl, he knows. She learns a lot from him, and she is a good listener. She'll do fine without him, he decides as he munches that potato.

_"Dear Diary. I am sleepy today but momma says make dinner for your grandda and I say okay. So I make him a potato and some rabbit that I think my dadda caught awhile ago. Momma gives me this special sauce for it and tells me to use it all so it will taste good. So I do. I put the sauce on the rabbit and I stir it all up so I can give it to grandda and make it taste reel good for him. I take a good look at the cabbinettes while I am making the potato and notice we are all out of food. I wonder if I will haf to dig up some more potatoes." _

He eats without complaint, knowing if he refused his dinner, one of those rotten children of his would just kill him messily and gruesomely. He figures he'll be kind to his lovely little Yasena, and go to his grave peacefully.

He dies within seconds of eating his last bite. Yasena walks past the kitchen on her way to bed and assumes her grandda is sleeping.

_"Dear Diary. My grandda is dead and no one will tells me why. I wanna know why my grandda is dead but no one says anything and no one makes him a big ol' stone to haul into the creek with him. No one seems to know he's gone except me and I guess my momma and dadda. They buyed me a new dress and a pair of shoes, but I seen what they buys for theyselves. They has a nice silkee dress for momma and a big ol' watch for dadda. I dunno why they get those nice things. I wonder why grandda didn't get anythin'. We could've tossed it in the creek with him." _

Yasena notices her mother flaunts these pretty shoes and dresses now. All the women in the little playground stare at her. Yasena just draws pictures of her moon. She notices that sometimes, black stuff keeps leaking out of the ground near her pictures. She just continues drawing.

_"Dear Diary. Momma gave me some new papery stuff to put on you so you don't get muddy. It smells kinna funny but momma says that's cause it's special. So I put it on you. Do you like it? I think that I like my new dress, but it's not real fun to wear. It's itchy. We've been eatin' some weird stuff for awhile, Diary. I saw momma cooking this big red thing. She put it in our new pot and put it over a fire, and it almost exploded. I herd momma swear, which I thought only dadda did. I ate somethin rubbery and squishy last night. Momma sais she must've just boiled a rabbit rong. I guess that's okay. But I wish we had nicer food. We got all this money, but we haven't had anythin' but rabbit." _

Yasena's mother and father tally up expenses and decide if they want to get an oven, they won't be able to afford food to cook it in. So they use their next best resource--that corpse they'd never bothered tossing in the creek. No one would have looked there, anyways. So they take bits and pieces and use them in their stews. Yasena eats it without complaint and she suspects nothing.

"_Dear Diary. I went into the kitchen today and tried to find something new to eat. Like a potato. My momma and dadda won't let me go get some more cause they say it be dangeris for me out there. I guess I just gotta find one in there. But I go lookin' and then_ _I opened our nice shinee ovin, and my grandda's hed falls out and I think it had bugs livin in it, Diary, cause this sentipeed crawled out over my foot. I throwed up and cryed for ever. I promise never to eat again." _

Her parents don't suspect a thing. She eats outside and just pushes her plate into the swamp, watching the meat disappear under the mud. Sometimes she goes to drop it in the creek, so her grandda will get to go along the river and into a big ocean like she'd heard him talk about once. It had sounded like a nice place to go to her, but she was getting too weak to go _anywhere._

_"Dear Diary. I got so hungree today that I did somethin reel bad. I went into the kitchin while my momma and dadda were out and opened the shinee ovin and ate my grandda. I eeted his eyeball first. It was real squishy so it was like takin a drink of water. Then I ate his eer, cause it was chewy. I just kept eeting and eetin' until I began to crye so much I couldn't see. Diary, I am a bad person. I wish I wouldn't haff to feel anythin cause I done such a bad thing I dunno how I'll live with myself anymore." _

The little girl climbs up to the top of the roof and stares at the moon. "I wish I could be hollow like you." She says softly. "I done a bad thing, but if it en't too much, can I go with my grandda to the ocean?" The moon doesn't reply. She sighs. "Okay..."

She jumps like she had been born just to fall. Her skin is shucked off as she falls, the skinless body hitting the riverbank with a wet thud, to perhaps turn into a Heartless. She herself stands up in the river, and the grey, clammy skin of a nobody becomes fully human. Except for one vital organ.

She got her wish.

The little girl who remembers things shoved to the back of a no-longer-human mind looks up at the moon and watches it swell and crack open. A big black beast oozes out of the moon and seems to almost dribble onto the ground before rising up and observing her with rose-colored eyes.

"_I...I can make sure you'll never have to feel again, little girl. I...I will help you. I will get out out of here." _It is lying, lying through its' teeth, but she is young and miserable and lacks a name right now. So she nods. She doesn't know it's the Boogeyman...because she doesn't remember.

It flicks its' bald tail across her eyes and traces its' way up to press itself against her forehead. She closes her eyes and forgets everything.

As she drifts down the creek, it whispers into her ear, "_Senayax." _

* * *

Senayax returned to the present. She stared down at the diary and shook her head. "Mother." She whispered in shock, before passing out.


	10. Forever

(Now that I'm done traumatizing you, I'm going to make you cry. And that's all for now~ ^^ Feel free to throw bricks through my virtual window, I think I deserve it at this point. HAHA EARN YOUR HAPPY CHAPTER.

I apologize yet again for this short chapter AND the extra day in updating. FFn didn't like me. Sorry, guys. The short chapter's all for TENSION~ I'll probably update tomorrow BECAUSE this one is so fucking short. D: BTW, rating's down to a T again, but it is /not/ staying that way for long. Give it time, it'll be M permanently soon enough.

This chapter was not written by anyone who owns Kingdom Hearts, and I wrote it, so~?

Dedicated to the Pale Man for being creepy and Point Lookout for serving as inspiration.)

* * *

The beast surveyed the landscape with an amused eye before looking down at its' sleeping host. _Hey kiddo, d'ya remember what happened to this place? _He asked. It didn't wait for a response from Senayax. _First time's always so magical, innit? All that bleeding and gnashing of teeth. _It snorted in amusement. Senayax didn't make a sound, but her mind was roiling.

_You know, you're not very good at telling stories. Fortunately, I am. _The beast teased. Senayax continued to clench her eyes shut. _Well, first I had some loose ends to attend to. You should be prostrating yourself at my feet for this one, kiddo--I ate your parents. If they weren't the bitterest, nastiest, most absolutely rotten things I have ever eaten, I don't know what would be. God, they tasted so good. _It giggled.

_The land was the next thing to go. I rotted it all up. Notice nothing grows here? You have me to thank for that! Not like this place would win any beauty pageants, even before I mucked it all up..._ The beast trailed off for a moment.

_Ohyeah! Once they didn't have a way to grow anything, I do believe they went mad. You know, starvation, mercy killings of the children, all that. It was pretty funny, considering they could've just left...humans are insane about these sort of things. You should be glad I made you a Nobody, kiddo. Cute little piece of sweetmeat like you...you'd have never survived here. _The beast mused, lips splitting in a rictus grin. Senayax shivered.

_Aww honey, you know I'm right. Doesn't it feel good to let me in? _It teased. She shuddered. The beast continued. _Or are you scared? Because of your _family _and all. Poor little hick. _It paused and then burst out laughing. _Ohhh ohh oh! This is about Ienzo, isn't it? That cute little prettyboy? My dear little sweetmeat, you don't seem to understand, do you? Every last one of them is a slimy little monster. They're all rotten to their stinking cores! You may be _my _special Nobody, but the rest of them...Oh, if you had seen the things they did! _Finally, Senayax spoke.

_Don't care. _She murmured. The beast grinned.

_Why not? _He purred. She didn't reply for a moment. Then she closed her eyes and let tears trail down her dirt-coated cheeks.

_'Cause I be a monster too. _

* * *

The Organization stared at the dilapitated swamp and shuddered in unison. It reeked of something obscene, and everything within seemed to ooze both darkness and decay. "Something destroyed this place." Xemnas murmured. "Something inhuman." Xaldin observed, and paused for a moment, deep in thought.

"A Nobody, perhaps? Although I doubt one would cause this much damage...a new form of Heartless? There are certain species that have the capacity to destroy this much territory." He offered. Xemnas shook his head.

"I doubt it...this isn't just darkness. This is something...wrong." He murmured. "Something deeper down in the soul than darkness."

At his words, everyone bit back a shudder. Demyx shook his head. "Guys? I don't wanna be a big damn hero anymore..." He murmured. Xigbar shook his head.

"She's here, kitten. We're sure of it. You can do it for her, right?" He said. Demyx nodded, and tried to wash some of the muck away, but it simply filled back in. He groaned. Xigbar kissed the top of his head. "Sweet gesture, kitten, but we've gotta slog through this one on our own." He took a step forward and promptly sunk into the mud. Demyx giggled, as his lover cursed and attempted to yank his boot out of the mud. "All right, nevermind, fuck this." He grumbled, picking his lover up and walking on air. "Kiddo, don't let go. Now would be a really shitty time to let go." He said dryly. Demyx nodded.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise." He said quietly, and buried his face in Xigbar's neck. The others made do the best they could, but it was a trial trying just to get through. Marluxia tried coaxing some plants out of the ground, but there wasn't really much to COAX. The place seemed dead. Zexion was silent the entire time, trying to smell her in all the damned filth. He was getting nothing. He couldn't smell anything except maggots and rotting flesh. He gagged, and shuddered. This place was foul. Something had ruined this place, long before they had come to find her.

The wind rustled through the stilts occasionally. It didn't bother him at all, until one of the winds brought her scent to him. Without even alerting the others, he tore off in the direction the wind had blown from. Her scent was getting closer and closer, and finally, he looked up to see the tallest stilt-house. He could smell her in there. He looked at the stilts and groaned. _Stupid, stupid, STUPID lack of athleticsm. _

"I'll get her." Xaldin said, obviously amused. He easily fit his lances into the stilt's wood and climbed up, and Zexion _knew _he was laughing at him.

"Oh, rub it in, fine! Xaldin, just wait, I swear I will throw this book at you!" Zexion snapped from the ground. The larger man chuckled to himself before he stepped through the rotting door, and walked inside the abandoned house.

An innocent-looking oven squatted in the corner of the first room, immediately drawing his attention. Xaldin tensed, drew Wyvern, and inched closer. It seemed...wrong. He crept towards it and hooked the handle, keeping his distance as he opened it with the tip of his lance.

When the rotten flesh practically oozed out, he was disgusted, but oddly unsurprised. He took the skull out of its' gelatinous casing and tossed it up in the air. "Gods above, Senayax." He muttered. "What brought you here?"

He discarded the skull without a second thought, and went farther back into the house. She was on the floor--naked, utterly covered in mud and other slime, and snoring. Xaldin bit back a laugh. She was snoring--little kid-whine, nasal snuffle, _snoring. _He rolled his eyes, and threw her over his shoulder. He noticed the diary, and picked it up for a second. His eyes widened as he skimmed the pages. He grabbed his lances and the diary, and breezed, quite literally, out the door and down the stilts. "Little monster girl," he muttered as everyone crowded around her, "you better be grateful we found you."

* * *

It had been six hours since they'd brought her home. It was already like the candle had been extinguished. Everyone was back to living drearily, even Marluxia. (Though that could be because they were out of his favorite ice cream and one of his rosebushes had died.)

Zexion had been practically frozen. He spoke in short sentences to everyone, obviously trying to cut their attempts at concern off at the knees, and even snapped at Demyx; and Zexion was the one who Demyx adored the most, (apart from Xigbar.) That just led to a huge argument between both Zexion and Xigbar.

"Look, Zex, she's gonna wake up! No damn reason to lose your shit like this!" Xigbar snapped. Zexion simply regarded him coldly from a single lilac eye.

"In case you have not noticed, Xigbar, we lied to her. I'm sure she's figured that much out by now. She's going to wake up, but she will never want to be a part of us again."He spat icily, realizing the truth to himself.

She was never going to hold his hand again. She would never share a bed with him again, or say his name, or look his way and smile at him while her eyes shone with joy. She was never coming back to him. He closed his eyes, refusing to let anyone see his pain.

Xigbar rolled his eye in obvious disgust, his patch shifting with it.

"You're always the one who decrees we must never feel any emotion, ever. Because we are just, of course, lying to ourselves! As if! Of course you _finally _figure it out--face it, Zexion, you're hurt and you're pissed off because _it's too late_!" He yelled.

If Zexion could have, he probably would have torn out Xigbar's throat. Everyone else simply watched, uncertain. Zexion turned, and walked away, saying nothing. His silence already spoke volumes. Demyx glared at his boyfriend.

"Xigbar, that was just mean! There was no reason to do that! He must be really sad about losing her!" Demyx said, glaring at him and crossing his arms over his chest. Xigbar sighed heavily, having known that even before he'd snapped.

"We all are, Dem. He's just taking this hard, and won't admit it." He huffed, leaning against the table. Just because he'd known, after all, didn't mean he hadn't been pissed. Lexaeus sat at the kitchen table, and began to fiddle with his chain puzzle. He was simply going to listen to this one. He couldn't speak for either Xigbar or Zexion--he understood the loss that everyone felt, but he also understood that they would simply pretend they had never seen the light, rather than try to get it back. Lexaeus smiled to himself.

At least, until she woke up.

* * *

Senayax opened her eyes to a sea of white. She sat up, and saw she was wearing her coat again. She sighed deeply, and ruffled her hair. It was pretty messed up--she'd been asleep for awhile. There had been no more dreams.

She felt like a part of her had been settled into place after coming back. A bit of something to cling to. It didn't bother her so much--the transition from human to Nobody had not bothered her as it had the others. Children were simple that way. But...

"You're...awake." She looked in the direction of the voice. It was Zexion, standing there with Xemnas, Vexen, and Xigbar.

She knew now. She knew they'd lied to her. The voice inside her, the voice of the moon, it tried to whisper to her, but there was something else in there, something dark that choked the noise. It made her sick, and she began to shudder from the feeling, getting frustrated and angry as she glared at all of them.

"You lied to me." She was so horribly sad, and she couldn't say why. The darkness, that rotten, choking darkness was eating at her, putting pressure on her chest, and she needed to say something. "You _lied. _I'm a stupid, ugly monster. No one...no one told me." She said sadly.

If Zexion had a heart, it would be somewhere in the vicinity of his stomach acids. He felt nauseous. "Oh, Yaya...it was...how could we? We wanted to protect you, and keep you safe. It was...better that you didn't know..." He said softly. The pressure grew in her. It was so much, like a real weight on her chest, and it hurt and she needed a release so badly.

"You didn't tell me! I...I, you...I trusted you. I believed you when you said there was nothing wrong with me, _Xemnas. You all lied to me." _She snarled at them. Then she looked straight at Zexion, and her eyes were so horrifically sad in that moment that it was if they'd regained their hearts for an instant simply to feel an agonizing sorrow. "An' Zexion..." She bowed her head, and her shoulders started to shake.

"I...I thought you were my friend...I thought you'd tell me these things...an' you promised to buy me th' rabbit. You read me a story, and it said...it said we could be beautiful and whole again...but I'mma monster, and I...I don't get to be beautiful. Not like the rabbit. You _lied, _Zexion_." _Tears began to run down her cheeks. Zexion looked like he was being torn apart inch by inch.

"You...you lied...and, and..." She gave a big, gasping sob, the pressure in her threatening to make her explode. It only took an instant, and then that pressure burst.

"I HATE YOU FOREVER, ZEXION!" She screamed, rushing out the door and bawling her eyes out.

Zexion merely stared at the endless white hallway. He said nothing, didn't move. Then he turned to Xemnas, and it was as if an entire sheet of ice had covered whatever Senayax had melted inside him. He spoke.

"These 'feelings.' They'll pass." He said softly, clutching his chest, where the gap of his lost heart lay.

Xemnas didn't know which Nobody he was talking about, but he could guess. He merely shook his head hopelessly. "No." He said. "No, they won't."


	11. Who They Left to Hide

(Okay, ANOTHER update tomorrow because I'm seriously courting death at this point, aren't I? I _geniunely _feel like the world's biggest asshole for putting this little girl through so much pain! She's, like, twelve! And she's mentally, like, seven! All I need is for someone to beat a puppy to death in front of her and I will officially be a complete monster. D:

Fear not, all will be resolved soon. And thus the first arc comes to a sort-of end. I'm glad that this story is getting so much attention paid to it! It's really nice to see that I have people who like it this much. Thank you all for reading~!

Dedicated to Tetsuya Nomura, (the person who owns this WHICH ISN'T ME see I did it again I rock), who, apart from giving me the fandom to write for in the first place, has inspired many zipper related jokes. Thank you for letting me pretend I'm funny.

* * *

Senayax darted down the hallway and let the darkness take her away. She closed her eyes and let it lead her somewhere safe. When she could feel the swirlings of light signifying a way out, she pushed through it and looked around. A small little hideaway within the castle. It had a few sparse furnishings--a pillow, a blanket, a lamp--but nothing else. Apart from its' condition, it was somewhere no one would look for her.

She laid down and took a pillow from the pile, curling up with it and burying her face into the soft confines of the cloth. She wasn't aware she was crying until she felt the pillow becoming soaked underneath her. She looked up slightly, lifting her face away from the wet pillow and looking up at Kingdom Hearts. She could almost feel disapproval from the moon itself, and she suddenly felt anger take over her. She threw the pillow against the window and burst into tears again.

After she'd finished bawling her eyes out, she realized she was exhausted. She didn't know what to say to even convince herself to go find the others and apologize, let alone get up off the floor. She managed to roll over and pull the blanket over herself, curl up under it, and pass out.

* * *

Zexion simply looked at the empty room for a moment. His eyes were unfocused, staring only because he couldn't blink back tears. They trailed down his cheeks in silence. He didn't bother brushing them away. Xemnas finally put a hand on his shoulder. "Ienzo..." He murmured. Zexion shook his hand away and turned to face him. Their eyes met and Xemnas fought back a shudder. Zexion looked so completely devoid of hope that he almost felt sadness.

"Xeh-Xeh..." He said softly, his voice becoming young and painfully innocent again, "Xeh-Xeh, make it better..." He pleaded, collapsing into Xemnas' arms with a sob, curling close and starting to bawl. Xemnas sighed, stroking his hair gently. He could feel Zexion trembling in his arms as he tried to stop crying.

"I wish I could, Ienzo." He murmured gently. "I wish I could."

* * *

Vexen took Zexion out with him, trying his best to comfort the younger boy. Xigbar simply sighed, putting a hand on Xemnas' shoulder and squeezing gently. "Don't worry about it, Xeh." He reassured his friend. "It's going to work out." He said, speaking with more confidence than he really felt at the moment. Xemnas sighed.

"I know. I suppose we should go tell the others..." He said. Xigbar nodded, summoning a Corridor for both of them.

When the two reappeared in the meeting room, everyone was already there. Zexion had pulled up his hood and sat in his chair with his head on his knees and his arms wrapped around him. Everyone simply watched Xemnas as he tried to steady himself to speak. He inhaled heavily before clenching his hands against the armrests of his throne.

"Senayax has found out." He said shortly. "She's hiding. Where, I don't know. But...she's gone. I'm unsure of how to go about this situation, but I can say that as always, caution would be wise." He sighed. "I suppose in the end we should just let her be." He murmured.

Everyone was silent. Not even the most verbose of the Organization could think of something to say. Then Demyx sighed.

"I miss her." He murmured. His words rang throughout the room, startling everyone out of their thoughts. Then Saix nodded.

"As do I." He murmured. "As do we all."

Zexion had yet to stop crying.

---

After everyone had left the meeting room, Demyx did his best to cheer everyone up. "She must be really hurt." Demyx said, matter-of-fact. "She just needs to work it out. She'll be back soon."

The entire day passed. Even after about five hours had passed, there was no sign of her at dinner. Everyone seemed far more subdued, to the point that when Demyx summoned his sitar, Saix snarled at him. Xigbar shot him a vicious deathglare, but Xemnas held up a hand, preventing any argument. "Children are prone to moods, as you are all aware. Give it time." He said firmly. Luxord snorted from across the table.

"How much time do you want, Superior?" He drawled, flipping down a few cards as he ignored his shaking hands. "How much time do you think we'll need to make her stop hating us?" Zexion spoke now.

"She can't feel hate." He said coolly. Xigbar opened his mouth to speak--but surprisingly, Vexen beat him to it.

"I'm not sure that's completely true. We all have some form of rudimentary, almost developmental emotion, do we not? We understand the feelings. We simply cannot experience them unless under extreme duress or outpouring of brain activity. I would say she isn't feeling anger, from what I saw, nor hate, but confusion and sadness. It's only natural. You should know better, _Ienzo_." He said coolly. Zexion gave him the iciest glare Vexen had ever seen. (He never looked at his own icy death glares, after all.)

"You know we no longer go by those names, _Even_." He said coldly. "I'm afraid it's you that should know better." He took his sandwich and stormed out with his coat swishing behind him.

Marluxia tilted his head at Vexen, and caught his eye for a second. Marluxia desperately hoped he wouldn't look away in disgust or frustration, just prayed he'd at least keep eye contact, even if just for a moment. Vexen blinked--and then smiled.

Larxene was urgently elbowed by Marluxia, who rather unsubtly, (especially for the _Graceful _Assassin), mouthed, "_HE TOTALLY SMILED AT ME!" _to her. She snorted in badly hidden amusement as she gave him a thumbs up. Unaware she was being sarcastic, Marluxia nodded eagerly. Vexen watched the entire exchange out of the corner of his eye, and managed to sigh before taking a sip of his coffee and hiding a smile.

* * *

Night, (or more accurately, a darker shade of purplish black), had fallen on the World that Never Was. The others had already gone to bed, perhaps trying to understand what they could do about what had taken place that day. Zexion simply waited in his bed, reading out loud to himself. He tried to drown out the silence for awhile, but he finally had to admit the truth about what he was waiting for.

He was waiting for Senayax to come in, and cuddle close, whispering a sweet, simple, "Sorry..." before falling asleep next to him. He wanted her back in his bed. He _missed _her, feelings or not.

She didn't come. He could smell her, pick her scent out among the scents of the others in the castle, but...she wasn't coming to him. She was crying, he supposed. He could sense her sadness, practically taste its' sour tang in his mouth. But he couldn't go to her. So he waited.

The entire night passed by him. Throughout it all, he simply sat and read. He realized how twitchy and restless he was, and it hurt him when he realized her scent and her leveled breathing had helped him relax and sleep...

He gazed at the clock. It seemed like time was taunting him. His lack of a heart left him empty, hollow. There was no heartbeat to listen to. He felt like a ravaged husk, and he was suddenly overtaken with the urge to scream.

The darkness announcing a Nobody swirled around the foot of his bed. He ignored it in desperation, hoping it wasn't anyone he couldn't bear talking to. Lexaeus stood there a moment later, looking concerned. "Zexion." He said softly. The smaller man shut his book, refusing to meet his eyes. Lexaeus simply waited. He knew Zexion was going to burst soon, and in fact--

"She didn't come _in, _Lexaeus." He said, voice cracking slightly from his harsh whisper. Lexaeus blinked in surprise. He could tell the boy was hurt, but it wasn't...as angry as he could get. Ienzo as he'd known him, and Zexion as Senayax had come into his life, could be moody occasionally, with fits of pouty anger--he had been a little boy, after all...but he seemed like he was deliberately trying not to be. Lexaeus mentally shrugged. Probably to keep his point of "no emotions."

"Zexion, perhaps you should go to her." He said. Zexion huffed, raising an eyebrow as he rolled his eyes.

"Yes, and get yelled at some more." He muttered bitterly. It finally clicked with Lexaeus. Ah. That was it. His pride and confidence were wounded. He shook his head.

"Zexion, if you can't go to her, that's fine. But then you're just going to have to wait for her to come to you. I understand if you're in pain, but remember that we all are, and that shutting it out isn't going to help." He smiled. "I doubt the Superior will be sending anyone on missions today, so I suppose you could wait for her, perhaps." Zexion nodded.

"Certainly. Wait with me, Lexaeus? I would love to play a game of chess, if you're willing." He offered. Lexaeus chuckled, as Zexion rose from the bed and took out the board and pieces.

"Of course." Zexion nodded, as they both sat down. Lexaeus knew that it was how Zexion calmed down--he sank into himself. He closed his eyes in thought. He observed, always had. Vexen planned, Zexion manipulated, Xemnas led, Xigbar acted, Xaldin performed.

He observed.

Zexion moved his piece forward. Lexaeus sat back, and countered his move.

They waited. Because everyone seemed to be simply holding their breath.

--

The entire day passed like clockwork. No one had approached her, or spoken to each other in a group about it. But they sought a bit of comfort in each other, in simply sharing a connection. Marluxia had shadowed Vexen the entire day in the lab. Vexen said nothing, but he admitted to himself, (and himself _only_), that he was satisfied by having him there. Axel sat and watched movies with Roxas in the lounge, simply relishing the light, almost birdlike weight of the blonde nestled in the crook between his arm and chest.

Demyx had sat and played his sitar the entire day, and the whole upper hall was flooded with sound. Xigbar sat near him, catching the vibrations with his fingertips and listening as Demyx hummed along. Saix had holed up in Xemnas's bedroom with Xemnas himself, simply brushing his master's hair and occasionally giving him light kisses. Zexion and Lexaeus had continued their chess games, eventually switching to _shogi _before the two simply resided peacefully with each other.

Xaldin had continued to teach Luxord how to fight rather than endlessly block with time. Larxene watched from the top of one of the walls with amusement, occasionally flinging knives down on the battlefield just to hear Xaldin's shriek of terror.

Even as they did this, they could not forget who they had left to hide. But it was enough for them to cope with it.

-----

As Senayax heard the sounds of her family downstairs, she buried her head in her hands and wept for everything she'd given up.


	12. Schadenfreude

(Okay everyone, put your pitchforks and torches down now. xD I promise I've given you what you asked for. And a promise for some humor to come, yah? Yeah, I jump between moods very often. Sorry. xD But an end to your suffering is near. For like, two chapters. So yeah. Hopefully this is enough to make you feel all warm and fuzzy until the next angstfest.

I don't know how many missions I can cram in. The Hundred Acre Wood is a given. But I don't want to make too much filler. D: We'll see where this goes, and how well the Hundred Acre Wood chapter is received.

This is dedicated to my friend who got me into Repo! The Genetic Opera. I can't stop singing it, thanks a LOT. xD

Also I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Remember kids, gay is okay in KH so long as you make it subtext-that-is-basically-text.)

* * *

Another night had fallen. Senayax watched Kingdom Hearts shining above her and blinked back tears. She was too scared to move. She wanted to go see Zexion, but she had been so awful an' terrible an' mean that he prolly never wanted to speak t'her again. She tugged the blanket over herself and prayed that maybe he'd come find her.

Zexion looked up at Kingdom Hearts. Then he looked back at the empty side of his bed and shivered in pain. "Yaya?" He murmured. "Yaya, if you can hear me...I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." He sighed. She probably never wanted to speak to him again. He couldn't blame her. He sat up in bed and slid off of it, feet falling against the floor as he walked towards his bookshelf. He knelt and selected a book, pulling it off the shelf before getting up and heading back to bed. He managed a small, watery smile as tears began to shine in his eyes.

"Maybe this is...my last chance." He whispered to himself. "I guess I just have to do my best..." He opened the book, and with a trembling voice he read, "_Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little rabbit that was loved by a wonderful little girl..."_

-----------

Senayax slept throughout the night and into the next day. She could hear everyone else in the castle, but the thought of talking to anyone still terrified her. She balled her fists up in her blanket and prayed that she'd fade into the darkness.

It was then she heard the swirl of a Corridor downstairs. She managed to wonder about who it had been before tears stung her eyes again and she laid her head down to cry herself into exhausted frustration again.

Zexion had been the one to open the Corridor. He had a task in mind, and he was not going to let this chance slip through his fingers. He was going to bring his little girl back to him. He would not accept that she might have gone away for good. She would come back. She had to. He noticed his hands were trembling, but he ignored it. He had to get to where he needed to be.

He headed straight for Traverse Town and stormed into the first toy shop he saw. The cute, fluffy little plushies perched on the shelves next to plastic figures and small puzzles, but he ignored them all in favor of his sole task.

"I need a rabbit." He said to the clerk. She raised an eyebrow, apathetic towards his appearance but amused at his apparent nervous frustration.

"Could you please be more specific?" She asked. Zexion yanked the book out of his pocket and flipped through to find an illustration of the velveteen rabbit. He laid the book flat and pointed to it. She looked at the illustration, then at the teen. She smiled. "I think I can help you find it."

He browsed that one row of toys for a long time. He had to find the perfect one that would show her that he still cared. Eventually, he came across a floppy, slightly worn, dusky brown rabbit. The buttons that made its' eyes were black and shiny, like stones. It seemed like it had been in the shop for a long time, simply gathering dust. He picked it up and examined it. It was...perfect. He handed it to the woman, who looked at him, slightly confused.

"This one's a bit worn, you know. Are you sure you want it?" She said, examining the toy. She couldn't remember when it had ended up in the shop--from the look of it, it had been a long time ago. Zexion nodded.

"Yes. Trust me, it's perfect." He murmured. She shrugged and smiled in bemusement.

"Okay, boyo. Your funeral." She said as she rang it up--he promptly gave her more money than needed. He saw her open her mouth to protest, but he simply smiled.

"Keep it." He insisted. "I need all the good karma I can get right now." She watched him leave the store, dumbfounded by the odd stranger's kindness.

He left the store and looked up at the sky. It was a perfect shade of blue, the color more vibrant than anything he had ever seen in Traverse Town. But the sky, beautiful or not, didn't matter right now. He summoned a Corridor and disappeared into the darkness. The only thing that mattered was the rabbit in his arms.

He reappeared inside the castle and sighed, clutching the rabbit to his chest. "She's even more beautiful than you, even without her heart." He murmured. "I need...to show her that."

Zexion got a soft, satin black ribbon he'd once used as a bookmark before the plastic keeping it stiff had fallen out. He knotted it elegantly around the rabbit's neck and managed a smile. She was in the castle, but not where she had been before. He'd leave it for her and see what happened.

He walked down the hallway silently, and opened the door where her scent was faded, but still strong enough to tell him she had been here not too long ago. He looked at the disheveled bed, and saw that the pillow was still wet. She had been crying. He closed his eyes and shook his head. No. He wouldn't think of it right now. He looked at the rabbit as he got an idea. Zexion took a piece of paper and hastily scribbled a note before leaving the rabbit and the note both on the bed, quickly disappearing into the darkness.

-------------------

Senayax sighed and looked up at the ceiling. She'd been squirreled away in the darkest, deepest parts of the attic. She liked it here--a lot of old items and trinkets had been left up here. She'd enjoyed looking through them for a time, before she remembered who they belonged to. Then the sadness had pierced her, ignoring the fact that she shouldn't have felt it. She sighed, knowing she'd have to leave now. The memories were too close.

She went down to her little room and opened the door.

It took her a moment to recognize what was on the bed. When she did, she moved slowly and carefully, as if one wrong move would shatter the moment. She kept creeping slowly towards the bed, her footsteps as silent as she could make them. She picked up the rabbit with trembling hands and read the note that sat next to him.

"_Yaya--please take better care of him than we took care of you. --Zexion." _It took a minute for the words to hit her with the full force of what he had meant. She clamped the rabbit in a viselike grip to her chest.

"Oh god," she whispered. "I'm so sorry." She had to go, go _now. _She'd been awful, an' mean, an' horrible, an' terrible and _she had to apologize right now. _

She burst out of her room and vaulted down the hallway like a champion sprinter. She slammed open doors, trying in vain to find someone. Lab first. Zexion, Vexen, and Lexaeus were almost always down there. She sprinted down the spiral staircase and banged on the door, before finally just bursting in. "ZEXION?! LEXAEUS?! VEXEN?!" She howled. No response. She looked around, and saw no one. With a wail, she went for the next best place--the library.

She fumbled with the door, and opened it, scanning the whole thing. Rows of books, the skylight and window seat, the multiple couches...and no one seemed to be around. "XALDIN!?" She shrieked. "XIGBAR?!" Nothing. A harsh sob tore its' way out of her throat. They'd all left her. She shook her head. _No. No they wouldn't! They...they wouldn't. _She decided to go for the lounge next--it had the fridge, and where there was sea-salt ice cream, she could find Roxas at _least._

She rushed in and saw that the whole lounge was empty. Devoid of any sign of life. She could barely see at this point from all the tears, and she could feel the mucus dripping from her nose onto the floor. She wiped her nose and eyes hurriedly, before going to Marluxia's indoor greenhouse.

The place was sticky and warm--Senayax felt nauseous as soon as she stepped in. There was one little secluded place where it was almost frozen over--his precious ice roses grew there--but no one. Not Marluxia, not Vexen, not even Larxene and Marluxia both, ignoring the botany and arguing about the drawbacks and benefits of live musical theatre.

The conclusion finally hit her. She _was _a filthy, horrible monster. Utterly repugnant. She had driven them all away, and they were never coming back. They had left her alone, forever and ever.

"They all hate me now, and they left me all alone! And I_...I DESERVE IT_!" She howled. "I was so horrible! Oh please, please guys, you have to come back, please forgive me, please..." She chanted, rushing for the last place she could think of trying.

* * *

They were all in the Place Where Nothing Gathers, unaware of her utter breakdown. Xemnas was trying to figure out how to explain it to everyone that they might have lost their Yaya for good. He tried to form words--it was usually so easy to make his speeches. But he had nothing, nothing to say. He saw everyone had bloodshot eyes to a degree. He was sure he did as well. "You all know she was incredibly hurt by our actions...so I think that we deserve this treatment. I'm going to be honest with all of you. I don't think there's anything we can do."

Zexion bowed his head and bit his lip, bit it until it bled, and desperately wished she was there to kiss it away for him, even if it _was _wrong.

* * *

Even though none of them knew it at the time, Senayax was already running down the hallway, trying to find them. She had one last room to check. She could barely see, she was crying so hard, but she knew she was close. She pounded on the door, and slammed it open. She ran in, heard nothing, and screamed into the silence, "I'M _SORRY!" _

She flopped down on the floor and began to sob hysterically, clutching the rabbit close against her chest.

For a second, Zexion thought one of his illusions had come back to haunt him. Senayax. In the middle of the room. Crying.

He let the darkness take him down without a second thought, and he immediately knelt and stroked her hair. "Yaya?" He whispered softly. She gasped in shock and looked up. Her eyes shone with tears as she shuddered in fear.

"Oh, oh god!" She said, both relieved and still in hysterics, "you're all alive! An', an'...you don't hate me!"

Zexion would've laughed if he hadn't felt like crying. The two seemed to cancel each other out. "None of us have gone _anywhere, _Yaya." He murmured. She nodded feverently.

"Yes, you _have_! I went an' looked everywhere I could think of, an' none of you be there, so _obviously_ it was all my fault, an' I made you all leave 'cause I'mma horrible person for sayin' I hated you forever, an' so you be hatin' ME forever, an', an' I deserved it, so I started crying, an' I came in here 'cause I figured if you weren't here, I could just jump off one of these really big chairs an' maybe kill myself or somethin', since I be so terrible and horrible..." She trailed off. Zexion was now much closer to crying.

"Why would we hate you forever?" He said gently. "You don't hate us forever, do you?" She shook her head, pressing closer to his chest.

"No," she whispered, "I couldn't ever hate _you_ forever. Not really." He almost sighed with relief. Then he realized the slight emphasis on 'you', and he realized he might've been grasping at strings, but at that moment he felt like he could fly.

"Then us hating you forever would just be silly." He chided her, letting her hug him as tight as she could while he stroked her hair.

"I'm real sorry." She mumbled. "I didn't mean to worry everyone." She said, looking up at everyone in the room. She stood up and looked around. She saw an empty throne and looked up at Xemnas, raising an eyebrow. He gave her the slightest of nods, and she immediately started scrabbling up the marble.

Marble being very smooth, she immediately slid down, knocking her head against the floor. She hissed in pain and swore heavily. It went on so long that Xigbar actually took out a pen and started making notes on her fascinating usage of animals in sexual positions.

As she clambered up there a second time, she sat huffily in her throne, and when everyone regarded her with amusement, she stuck her tongue out at them. The rabbit sat contentedly in her lap, oblivious but pleased, for in that moment of time...everything became itself again.

Of course, since it had, Xemnas felt free to monologue. Everyone quietly groaned as he launched into another speech. Senayax laid her head down on the arm of her throne and swore she wouldn't fall asleep.

* * *

An hour later, Saix finally spoke. "Superior, you _are_ aware that Yaya has been asleep this entire time?" He stated, trying, (and to his credit, somewhat succeeding), not to sound incredibly amused.

"--and of course as always, Kingdom Hearts is our first priority. Also, no one is allowed to have cereal with any kind of sugary confectionary in there that _someone _could pick out. It is now and forever illegal. Or at least until Vexen figures out a sedative. For the next order I must mention, Xigbar, you need to stop using space to scare the hell out of Demyx in the shower. Any excuses involving 'sex being more fun' in the shower will not be accepted. Don't glare at me like that, Demyx, I don't care if water is your attribute, if I have to hear it _one more time--"_

_"Superior!" _Saix finally snarled, clapping his hands together close to his master's ear. Xemnas jumped halfway out of his chair before turning to glare at him.

"The first rule of this place is not interrupting me when I'm making a speech! You know that, Saix!" He snapped, as everyone rolled their eyes behind him. Saix pointed at Senayax, who was snoring on the arm of her throne.

"She's not really up for an hour long speech, you know. I suggest that you leave off with the monologue, Superior, and either figure out dinner or send someone out to one of the towns for groceries." Saix said. Xemnas glared half-heartedly at him. Saix stared pointedly back. Eventually, Xemnas managed to save face. He turned to the others, and waved his hand at them regally.

"Just...someone go make dinner." He said with a tired sigh. Two Nobodies immediately brightened.

"People that _aren't _Demyx or Axel." Xemnas stated, having already seen the consequences of that idea.

Their faces both fell. Demyx pouted at him and fluttered his eyelashes at Xigbar, who in turn glared at Xemnas. Xemnas rolled his eyes. "Dismissed. Someone PLEASE make sure Yaya gets out of that throne without killing herself. We're going to be planning missions for all of you, her included." Zexion tensed.

"So soon, Superior?" He said softly. Larxene snorted.

"In case you haven't noticed, she's killed everyone who she ever knew before this." She said wryly. Zexion snapped his head in her direction, voice dangerously quiet.

"It was the beast. She is a Nobody. No more, no less. She is not a monster." He snarled. Larxene rolled her eyes.

"I'm aware, Zexion. Calm the hell down. Marly, you're cooking, right?" She turned to him, and they took each other's arms, practically flouncing out. (Both of them.) Zexion sighed heavily, looking up at the throne.

"Don't feel like climbing?" Lexaeus said, amused. Zexion glared at him. Lexaeus chuckled. "I'll get her. Go help with dinner, Zexion." He nodded, and disappeared. Lexaeus scaled the marble easily. Rocks fell under his earth attribute, after all. She barely shifted as he picked her up. He was surprised by how light she really was. It was like gathering cotton into his arms. He shook his head, and leapt down, walking out of the room and towards the kitchen.

* * *

Senayax awoke to the noise of the kitchen. Laughter, light cursing, the smell of something herbal. She blinked sleepily as she realized she was leaning against someone. Whoever it was was really big. She snuffled, pleased. They made a good pillow, too. She closed her eyes and went back to sleep.

"Zexion, feel free to take her off my shoulder." Lexaeus said, trying to shift his arm around her to eat. Zexion rolled his eyes, but he had smiled, seeing her so at peace.

"Fine. I suppose she shouldn't sleep so late in the day, either." He shook her shoulder gently. "C'mon Yaya, dinner's ready." She opened one bleary chocolate-colored eye and observed the kitchen.

"Not hungry." She grumbled, closing her eyes again. Zexion massaged his temples, and huffed.

"Not even for waffles?" He offered, blatantly going the bribery route. She laughed softly.

"Mm, maybe." She mumbled, giggling in amusement. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, trying not to smile.

"Well, too bad. I made pasta, and dammit, you are all going to have to live with it. We are completely out of food." Marluxia grumbled, setting plates down. Xemnas nodded.

"Ah. Well, that can be the start of your missions, then. I've thought it over, and decided. Senayax will accompany you on missions this week. We'll try to get her in most of the worlds, and start getting her used to fighting. Also, perhaps trying not to spark an entire town's destruction would be nice." He groaned quietly. Xigbar raised a hand.

"Not even the Hundred Acre Wood?" He asked. Xemnas snorted.

"Not even the Hundred Acre Wood, Xigbar." He said, vainly trying to stave off carnage. He grumbled in disgust and put his hand down. Senayax had been twirling the pasta around her fork, giving it a curious look. She took one of the noodles, and slurped it up as noisily and horrifically messily as possible. Everyone else winced at the mess. Except for Demyx.

"Oh man, I wanna try!" He said, grabbing a bowl. She swallowed, and gave him a cocky grin.

"Bring it." She muttered, stuffing another forkful in her mouth.

Everyone winced as the both began inhaling the noodles, making gruesome slurping noises. Zexion closed his eyes to the scene, groaning quietly. "It gets her to eat. I wouldn't complain if I were you." Xaldin warned them.

Senayax finally squealed in digust. "Ew! Ew, it went up my nose!" She howled, pushing the bowl away and throwing her fork at Demyx. He shrieked with joy. He was victorious! Xemnas shot Xaldin a death glare as Demyx cheered--then gagged on his noodles. Xaldin stared right back. Senayax dutifully thumped Demyx on the back as he began to gasp.

* * *

After dinner and subsequent cleaning-up of the spaghetti massacre, (that kitchen had looked like a crime scene by the time they were done), Xemnas was prepared for missions.

"Right. Xigbar, I'll need you in my office--you're going first for missions." Xemnas smiled thinly as they both disappeared. Xemnas watched as Xigbar floated above the chair, just because he could. Xemnas grinned. He was going to enjoy this. "Xigbar, my dear old boy, you're going to take Senayax to the Hundred Acre Wood. It's a simple mission to gather information on the Keyblade Master, nothing special."

For a moment, Xigbar forgot how to breathe.

"Xemnas, I get the joke. It's not funny anymore, really." He said slowly. Xemnas shook his head.

"It's not a joke, Xigbar. You'll be going with Xaldin, no fear. But I don't want to see any of you back until dinner time." He said, fighting the urge to smile. Xigbar stared at him. To his credit, he tipped his head and replied, "As you wish, Superior," before walking out the door--and running shrieking down the hall in unbridled fury and agony.

Xemnas burst out laughing, paperwork forgotten. "Master? Are you all right?" Saix walked in, cobalt hair trailing behind him. He paused at the edge of the desk and raised an eyebrow. Xemnas was slumped over his desk, still laughing. Saix tilted his head back, and sighed in exasperation, rubbing his temples. "You really are too cruel, master." He muttered. Xemnas shrugged.

"Oh well, it's not like it won't be amusing anyway, cruel or not. Now, I should probably try to work it out with everyone else tomorrow...let me start making lists." He purred. Saix raised an eyebrow.

"Xemnas...this won't be just, 'assign everyone their most hated realm and give them the job of keeping a demonic monster girl safe as well' schadenfreude, correct?" Saix asked, folding his arms over his chest and staring pointedly at his master. Xemnas stared back at him for a good, long minute.

"Go to bed, Saix." Xemnas ordered, turning back to his paperwork. He rolled his golden eyes and sighed heavily.

"Master, I don't think we HAVE enough 'hated realms'." Saix reminded him. Xemnas grinned.

"Sure we do! Everyone here except Demyx hates Atlantica!" He said cheerfully. Saix sat down in the chair next to his Superior.

"But, Xemnas, where will we find the excuses we'll need to get them all to Atlantica?" He said. Xemnas looked at him, bemused.

"Since when have I needed an excuse?" He said with a small laugh, gesturing towards Xigbar's room with a pen and smirking in amusement. Saix grinned.

"Good point." He murmured, sitting next to his master and settling in with a small purr of pleasure.

In the end, Xemnas didn't send them ALL to Atlantica...but Xigbar had better behave himself on that trip to the Hundred Acre Wood, oh yes.

----------------

The castle had finally settled down. Xaldin had taken it much better than Xigbar, but he and Luxord had to replace their door after Xaldin's lances had effectively reduced it to splinters. Xigbar himself was still getting 'counseling' from Demyx, and that was probably not going to end anytime in the near future.

However, the others had gotten to bed just fine. Except for Zexion.

He picked up a book off the floor and sat in his bed, pulling the covers over himself and acting like it was just a normal evening. He couldn't bear to think about what might happen.

He'd felt that achingly cold emptiness steal over him the second that he'd gotten in bed. But he didn't want to think about who was missing from it. He didn't want to think about the little girl he'd come to crave at his side sleeping far away from him. But she'd forgiven him and everyone else--right? He closed his eyes.

_Will she come back? Is she ready--does she want to? Can...can she really forgive me? _He mused_, _before he shook his head. Not worth pondering the answers right away.

He finished the book within an hour. He sighed and noted with a cold sort of anguish that the bed next to him was empty. He decided that he might as well shut the light off and try to get a little sleep--two days was a bit much, even for him. He shut the light off and hugged his pillow tightly as he closed his eyes and tried to forget the empty side of the bed.

Suddenly, he felt the mattress shift. Her familiar and comforting scent flooded his senses, and he almost moaned in relief. Her body was warm against his, but she was tense, unsure of her welcome. "Do you...still, um...want me in here? I...I don't know if you've forgiven me or not--" He clutched Senayax and pulled her close, running his fingers through her hair.

"God, yes," he muttered, "I forgive you. I was never angry." He whispered. She nodded into his chest.

"But Zexion...I said some real bad stuff. I didn't mean to...it just got all pressured and hurty in my chest and I had t'say something...and I was so scared...but I hurt you. I was hurt, but then I hurt you." She sniffled. "That was mean." Zexion shook his head and inhaled her scent again, shivering in pleasure.

"Yaya, listen to me. You had every right. We had lied to you and kept secrets from you. I'm sorry. It was foolish." He shifted, sitting up in bed. She sat up with him and blinked, tilting her head up and wrinkling her nose in curiousity. Her eyes were shining with tears, but she held his gaze. Zexion managed to give her a small, weak smile. "How about...I promise never to keep secrets from you or lie to you again. Then you can promise you won't hate me forever. Will that make you feel better?" She nodded and cuddled closer towards him, smiling in relief.

"Uh huh..." She whispered. "I promise never to hate you forever." Zexion managed a small smile of amusement.

"So, then I promise never to keep any secrets from you. Now," he said, voice getting faux-stern, "off to bed with you." She giggled as she settled down into bed. He looked down at her, already at peace and half-asleep, and shook his head in wonder. His little girl. Back in his bed. He laid down, still slightly awed by that fact, and pulled her close.

"...Zexion...?" She whispered softly. "Forgot...forgot to tell you somethin'..." He shifted and turned towards her. Her eyes were wide open, and something he couldn't place but he knew he craved was shining in them. He stared back, stroking her hair behind her ear.

"Mm?" He whispered back. She smiled.

"When I was stuck in the village...I dreamed I was here...with you. This place....it's warm...safe... Thank you...for everything." She cuddled the little rabbit to her chest and finally fell asleep with a sigh of happiness. Zexion waited until her eyes were closed and her breathing was even and deep before pulling her close and wishing with all his strength that he could feel, just so he could cry with pure joy right now.

_Mine._

"Always." He whispered.


	13. It Is Always Bees

(This is probably one of my favorite chapters. Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVED Winnie the Pooh, as my mother and anyone who knew me until I was six or seven years old or so can attest. But it's so out of place, especially from CoM onwards, because that's when the story goes from "cute Disney game with Final Fantasy characters" into "holy shit all these people are dying and I am killing them D:" So yeah.

Also because making Xigbar suffer is funny. It's his homicidal tendencies, really. Anyways, I hope this chapter is up to par. I haven't written humor in a long time. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, y'all know the drill, etc etc.

This is dedicated to HeartGold and SoulSilver coming out in EIGHT DAYS!!!)

* * *

The next morning was normal enough. The few morning people of the Organization--Luxord, Xaldin, and Demyx--were already up and looking for something vaguely edible in the kitchen.

Then Xigbar stormed into the kitchen, swearing violently. Demyx, utterly used to his morning fits, simply pulled out the last protein bar and opened it.

"Coffee, Xiggy?" He asked, taking a bite. Xigbar turned to him and glared.

"You know I'm going to my own personal hell! For fuck's sake, I'd appreciate some sympathy!" He snarled. Demyx smiled.

"You can have sympathy when you get home." He giggled, kissing him teasingly. Xigbar half-heartedly snarled at him, and snatched the protein bar out of his hands. Demyx pouted at him, and Xigbar rolled his eyes, ruffling his hair.

"Don't push me, cutie. I fully expect my bed to be damn warm when I come home." He growled playfully, flicking his lover's forehead. Demyx grinned.

"Yessir, Xigbar!" He said cheerfully, giving him a small salute. Xigbar, despite his seething annoyance and dread, managed to smile. It was nice to see someone so endlessly optimistic and happy, despite their situation, and _especially_ in this place. He was just lucky that boy had taken a shine to him.

The little girl responsible for his newest mission stumbled sleepily into the kitchen, fumbling for the counter. She sank to the floor and curled up on the tile, deciding it wasn't worth the effort. Xigbar snorted. "Come on kitten, you've gotta get ready." She snuffled.

"I wanna cup of coffee." She mumbled to the floor. Xigbar rolled his eyes.

"If you can get up off the floor, you can have a cup of coffee, ya little addict. Do you have your weapons?" He asked. She held up ten ringed fingers. He laughed. "Good girl. As your reward, you get a cup of coffee."

She nodded, staggered to her feet, and began to drink it. She clutched it like a lifeline, and only put it down to ask, "Do we still need to go grocery shopping?" Xaldin checked the fridge.

"Yes, and soon. Hopefully tomorrow--I assume we should make a list of what everyone wants first...I'll leave a note up for the Superior to keep track." He said, rummaging through the drawers to find a notepad. Senayax nodded and blinked a few times, before her eyes brightened.

"I feel better now. We can go so Xigbar can come back early, I think." She smiled. Xigbar groaned.

"I really don't want to do this. You _know _there's going to be casualties. Also, Senayax--no need for the coat. Xemnas decided if you look like a cute little kid, you could get some info out of the fluffy bear bastard and his manic-depressive jackass friend." He snarled, spitting the words out of his mouth as if they were acid. Senayax frowned.

"That's so mean!" She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. Xigbar snorted.

"As if! They totally deserve it, it's true. Anyways, do you HAVE clothing?" He asked. She tilted her head.

"I have some stuff Marluxia gave me, but it's all too big. Even Zexion's sweater." She said thoughtfully. Zexion chose this ill-timed moment to walk in, of course, and paused at that last sentence. Xigbar stared at him.

"Dude, now you're giving her your CLOTHES?!" He said in shock, as Zexion flared red. Everyone else merely raised their eyebrows, as Senayax shrugged.

"They're just until we can buy her something!" He snapped. Demyx looked thoughtful.

"Do you think she has underwear?" He asked. Everyone turned to Senayax. She blinked.

"Um, Marluxia gave me some, but it's all gone...I keep changing and it all gets torn up." She looked sad, suddenly feeling almost guilty. Pity, if they had been capable of feeling it, would have lanced their hearts. As it was, they remembered the twinges of empathy for her.

"We'll go shopping--AFTER the Hundred Acre Wood." Xaldin said, slightly amused. Xigbar glared at them all.

Zexion smiled thinly. "Until then, I suppose Roxas is the closest in size to you. Let's go wake them up." He murmured, just the smallest of wicked grins on his face. Xaldin nodded. Xigbar immediately pulled out Sharpshooter. Zexion glared at him.

"No fatalities." Zexion reminded him. He huffed, and it disappeared in a puff of darkness. "Let's just go see if they're up." Zexion said, sighing. Senayax nodded, and darted down the hallway.

Axel had already decided to stumble out of bed, and was winding his way down the hallway. Senayax caught up with him, hugging him tightly before she asked, "Axel? Does Roxas have anything that would fit me?" He tilted his head.

"Huh. I'm pretty sure Roxy's got something...come on, I can go wake him up." Senayax followed behind innocently, as Axel grinned to himself. Roxas lay slumped over the bed, snoring gently. Axel ran a spidery finger down his cheek, and planted a full kiss on his lips. Senayax blinked. She'd never...seen that. What was he doing? Roxas had opened his eyes, and gave a muffled shriek.

"Axel!" He hissed, pushing the older man off. "Goddammit, I'm not even up yet!" Axel flashed him a catlike grin.

"I noticed, Roxy. Yaya needs normal-people clothes, she's going incognito with the fluffy bear that haunts Xigbar's nightmares. Can we borrow your clothes?" Axel said. Roxas threw a pillow at him.

"You can't, but she can." He grumbled. "Now get back in bed." Axel smirked, and immediately set about to hogging the covers. Senayax was still incredibly confused, but she grabbed a pair of black pants and a plain white shirt before making a note to ask the smartest person she knew about that odd occurence when she got home.

She dressed quickly, and met Xaldin and Xigbar back in the kitchen. Xigbar merely raised an eyebrow at her, but Xaldin was the one that spoke. "Are you all right, Yaya? You appear to have seen a ghost." She tilted her head.

"No, I'm okay. Come on, we should go." She said. Xigbar winced, but nodded. The three disappeared into the Corridor and were gone.

--

Pooh was a simple bear. He enjoyed balloons, honey, and his friends. So it was only natural he would enjoy the best day of all days--his birthday. He waddled towards Rabbit's home, where the celebration was to be held.

The Organization's second-highest member, third-highest member, and adorable demonic mascot were simple too. Xigbar wanted to go home. Xaldin wanted to prevent casualties. Senayax wanted a pony.

"Tastes like diabetes." Xigbar grumbled, making a gagging noise as surveyed the bright landscape. Nothing but bright primary colors and soft, gentle shapes made up this world. Nothing was creaky or oddly constructed, nothing was dark or somewhat twisted, and everything bounced slightly when you stepped on it. If that wasn't enough, you couldn't walk five steps without tripping over a 'thinking spot.'

Xigbar loathed this place, loathed it more than he loathed two-hour-long meetings, more than he loathed missions--no matter how short--without Demyx, more than he loathed not getting laid for two days straight, more than he loathed pretty much anything, really. This world just brought out the worst in the Freeshooter, and he, frankly, would like to see the whole thing laid to ashes.

Except burning it all to the ground and sowing the earth with salt and ashes would _probably _mean one of those two-hour meetings, and brutally slaughtering all the denizens of the Hundred Acre Wood and taking their pelts and heads home as spoils of war would most likely lead to him not getting laid by his much more sensitive and saccharine-tolerant boyfriend.

Xigbar hated both of those enough as-is. In combination, they would be truly, truly terrifying. He shuddered, and looked around, making sure he wasn't eyeing anything that would make too easy of a target.

Senayax giggled at his paranoid expression, and the way he paced around the clearing. She was sorely tempted to come up behind Xigbar and poke him, just to see him jump. Xaldin rolled his eyes, wishing he was on a mission with two entirely different people.

"Right, Yaya. First order of business--just go and try to obtain some information about Sora from the bear. We'll be here keeping an eye on you in case things go wrong. Or if Xigbar snaps." He said, still eyeing his muttering comrade with uneasy amusement. She sighed, and nodded.

"Okay..." She mumbled, walking out of the thicket of trees, and setting her sights on Pooh, who was still on his way to Rabbit's house. He gave her a simple smile.

"Hello there, new girl!" The fluffy bear said. Senayax merely stared at the peach-colored, rotund fluffball, who screamed 'HUG ME' just by standing there. She knew Xigbar said this place was like diabetes. She knew this place seeped sugar and endorphins from every atom. But he was a big, squishy teddy bear, and she was a little girl.

"Hi! Oh my go--goodness." She stumbled over the mild oath. "The fu--dge." She shook her head. Da--darn, this place was weird. She continued, undaunted.

"I'm Senayax. Is it your birthday?" She asked. Pooh brightened up, finally remembering what he'd been on his way to Rabbit's house for.

"Why yes, it is! Perhaps you would come celebrate with us?" He offered. She shrugged. Well, it's what they had planned to do anyway, and parties meant cake, and she was still a little girl, and sweets were delicious no matter where you were.

"Sure, why not." She said, deciding it was also sweet to rub said sweets in the two elder Nobodies' faces. She took the hand of the fluffball and they both walked down the path to Rabbit's house.

Xigbar watched the adorable procession from the sniper sights of his gun. Xaldin glared at him. "For chr--criminy's sake, Xigbar." The other former Apprentice looked at him in shock, actually looking away from his scope with the bear in sight.

"Xaldin, did you just say criminy? What the fu--dgesticks is going on?" He clapped a hand over his mouth in shock.

"Sweet holy sh--ugar. What the he--heck!?" He choked back another swear, coughing as it seemed to catch itself in his throat. Xaldin blinked.

"This is certainly strange. It appears to be that anything obscene is washed out by this place." He murmured. Xigbar shuddered.

"Does this mean no s--s--f-fudge, I can't even say it! Darnit to heck, the Superior owes me big time for this!" He roared. Xaldin sighed heavily as he adjusted his binoculars.

--

Senayax looked at the endless fields of acid-green grass, the lush green trees, and the cerulean sky. Everything was beautiful, to the point where it became vaguely unsettling. She raised an eyebrow. This was one he--heck of a weird world. She grumbled, seeing Pooh meet up with another one of his friends.

"Oh, Eeyore! How are you today?" Pooh said, walking towards a blue donkey. The donkey flopped to the ground, and sighed heavily, tossing his forelock back.

"Horrible." He said mournfully. "My tail's gone missing." Pooh smiled.

"Well, perhaps if you come to Rabbit's house for a birthday snack, you'll feel better! What do you say, Eeyore?" He said. Eeyore groaned.

"I guess. Who's this?" He asked mournfully. Senayax tried to twist her mouth into a cheery smile. Neither animal seemed to notice the agony in her eyes.

"My name's Senayax! Come on, let's go to Rabbit's house!" She chirped. As Pooh smiled at her, on the inside she was shrieking with annoyance.

--

Xigbar was waving Sharpshooter around as he gestured at the scene in front of him, and Xaldin was more focused on trying to dodge the gun than listen, but Xigbar was talking regardless.

"Dude! Dude, did you see that! This place is like a goshdarn zombie virus!" Xigbar tripped over a few more nonthreatening swears as Xaldin nodded.

"I actually have to agree. This is becoming an unusual mission." He murmured.

"Darn right it is." Xigbar grumbled. "Are you SURE we can't just shoot these...these...mother-friendly anthromorphic animals born out of wedlock." He finished lamely. Xaldin snorted.

"I'm quite sure. Remember, the Superior ordered a lack of any and all casualties." He reminded Xigbar. He grumbled in annoyance.

"He didn't say anything about not being allowed to while away the day fantasizing in this silly place." Xigbar groaned. "It's G-rated in my BRAIN."

Xaldin really didn't know what to say to that. He sighed, and watched Senayax trying her darndest not to skip up the hill with the bear and the whiny donkey.

--

Senayax was ready to slit someone's throat by the time they reached Rabbit's house, but she could only make out faint red splotches instead of the thick, luscious blood she was intending to coat the walls of their houses with. She sighed, and kept going into the garden.

"Happy birthday, Pooh Bear! Oh, and who's this?" A yellow rabbit observed Senayax carefully as they stood in a small garden, preparing for the party. The table squatted in the middle of it, and a banner above it that mangled the words "HAPY BRRTHDAY POOH BEAR" fluttered in the breeze. She made that grimacing smile that everyone here seemed to enjoy.

"I'm Senayax! I'm here to celebrate Pooh's birthday!" She announced. Rabbit nodded.

"Oh? Where's your present?" He asked. She mentally groaned.

"I left it at home! I'll be right back with it!" She turned and ran, wishing she could curse about talking in exclamations.

--

She went back to the other two members, having tracked them through Xigbar's agitated G-rated shrieks of agony.

"Xigbar! Xaldin! Help me!" She hissed, skidding into the bushes. They both took a good look at her. Maybe it was because she was in the bright technicolor of this place, but she seemed...brighter. There was an almost unconscious bounce in her step, and her clothes seemed to sparkle. Xigbar gagged. She glared at him. "I need a 'present' for Pooh's birthday! This silly place keeps making me talk like this!" Xaldin nodded in amusement.

"I noticed. Now, what shall we give him?" He mused. Xigbar held up his gun.

"Bullets? Pointy, pointy bullets?" He choked back a mad giggle. Xaldin glared at him for what seemed like the tenth time that day. Why did_ he _always have to put up with this insanity? Xigbar was never this violent as an Apprentice, he could tell you that. Xaldin turned back to Senayax.

"Honey. The bear loves honey, or hunny, or whatever it is. We just need to find a pot." He said thoughtfully. Senayax nodded.

"Where d'ya think it'd be!" She howled, and since she knew swearing was futile, just spat on the ground. She shrieked with further agony when the saliva began to sparkle, a flower growing where it had sunk into the soil. Xaldin sighed.

"Well...you might be able to get some from the bees around here. Here, since I, unlike _someone, _came prepared, use the honeypot." Xaldin shook his head, admitting to himself this was actually slightly amusing. "Now go tick off some bees!" Senayax glowered at him.

"Oh, I hope this place eats you alive!" She grumbled, storming off. Xaldin turned to Xigbar.

"Did I exclaim that last part?" He said, voice thick with frustration. Xigbar nodded.

"Yes. You did." He said. Xaldin groaned. He was supposed to be the sane one on this mission, but now that this place had gotten to him too, he was _done._

"All right, we can investigate the house." He muttered darkly. Xigbar took that to mean 'massacre everyone inside.' (And really, Xaldin should've known better.)

"Now! We shall investigate this! With _bullets_! For _science!" _Xigbar roared, brandishing his gun and bellowing with murderous joy. Xaldin knew he should stop him, but for once, he wholeheartedly agreed.

----

Senayax looked up at the tree she had found, and saw the hive. She groaned. "I'm not gonna get up there!" She hissed with annoyance at the exclamation. A little kangaroo hopped over, his tail wagging curiously.

"Hello! Are you trying to get a present for Pooh Bear?" He asked. She looked at him. Maybe this thing could help her out.

"Yes! I am, can you help me up there?" She replied. He smiled.

"Sure! My name's Roo! What's yours?" He said, wagging his tail again. She grimace-smiled.

"Senayax!" She said. Roo clapped his hands in delight. Senyax grumbled.

_I hate this place sooo much._ She sighed. It was for the Superior, she knew that, but...this place was taking away her grammar! Her special slang! Her mojo! It was like...it was sucking the--

Her eyes widened. That explained _so _much. She made a note to contact Xaldin and Xigbar as soon as possible.

Roo handed her a balloon. "You can float up on this!" She raised an eyebrow. A balloon. He wanted her to float with a_ balloon_.

Then she realized she already was.

"Oh gosh, oh gosh I want to live! Xigbar! XIGBAR, HELP! XALDIN, I WANNA GO HOME!" She howled. The two stayed in the bushes. Xigbar looked down his sights.

"Should we shoot her down?" Xigbar asked. Xaldin shook his head.

"No. She'll fall, and I don't know if this twisted place lets you get hurt or not, but it's still not worth doing. Not even for science." He didn't notice Xigbar staring at his gun in horror until he gave a strangled gasp. Xaldin turned to his old friend. "Are you all right?" He asked. Xigbar showed him his scope in horror.

Three little Mickey Mouse icons had replaced his sniper sight. Xaldin's eyes widened in amazed terror. "Good gosh!" He hissed, realizing it was happening again. He tried to summon Lindworm, Wyvern, any one of his lances. Wyvern settled in his hand, and he stared at her in shock.

Her tip was blunted. No point. No. Point.

He looked at Xigbar. "What is this place DOING to us?" He hissed.

"BEES, BEES, OH MY GOSH, _WHY IS IT ALWAYS BEES_!"

--

Apparently, the bees didn't actually STING, this silly place never let you get hurt, but she was now covered in honey. She grimaced as she wiped it off her skin and into the pot. "Roo, let's just go to the party!" Roo grinned.

"Sure! Come on, you can try to bounce with me!" He said. She blinked.

"Uh, I'd rather not!" She took a step--and then bounced. She glared down at her feet.

_Traitors. _

So the two bounced back to Rabbit's house. Senayax was _not _pleased.

--

The two now-weaponless men crept after her. They looked at each other for a moment, and then at their coats. They'd begun to shine, same as Yaya's clothing. Xaldin groaned. "May I be frank, Xigbar? If we don't get any information on the Keyblade bearer, we're just returning home, darn every single consequence." He grumbled. Xigbar nodded enthusiatically.

"Heck yeah!" He said, looking wistfully at Rabbit's house. "They're all here, and I can't shoot them." He grumbled. "Xemnas, you are going to _pay _for this one."

Xaldin completely agreed at this point.

--

Senayax slumped in her seat, bored to tears. The bear had forgotten it was his birthday, so now everyone was trying to make him remember. Her eye twitched involuntarily. "Now you see, Pooh, we all gathered here to celebrate. Your birthday is a special day! That's why we made you a cake!" Rabbit said. Pooh tapped his head.

"Oh bother...I just wish I could remember why the cake is so important..." He mumbled. Senayax closed her eyes. Deep breaths. Deep, measured, even breaths.

"You see, Pooh, when it's someone's birthday, you celebrate with something special." Rabbit said. Pooh blinked.

"But why is the cake special?" He asked, chewing on his paw.

Senayax knew she was supposed to be finding information about Sora. She knew it was a mission. But the false niceness in her had snapped.

"THE CAKE IS NOT SPECIAL!" She screamed, slamming her hands down on the table as she stood up. Xigbar and Xaldin froze. "YOU! YOU AND YOUR SHINY, HAPPY, SILLY GOSHDARNED PLACE! ALWAYS! IT IS ALWAYS _BEES!_ TO HECK WITH THIS SILLY PLACE! I DISLIKE IT VERY MUCH! I DISLIKE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH! GOSH DARNED SHINYHEADS! ALL OF YOU! I STRONGLY DISLIKE YOUR SHINY HAPPY!"

She stormed out of Rabbit's garden, and up to Xigbar and Xaldin. The denizens of the Hundred Acre Wood could only watch blankly.

"I want to go home!" She hissed. Xaldin stared at her, as if unable to comprehend it. He nodded slowly, and summoned a Corridor. As they left, Xigbar couldn't resist taking a shot at the house.

---

Xaldin and Xigbar actually kept their distance from their little pet monster as she stormed through the castle. Her own personal darkness seemed to spring up in her wake, and she looked _pissed._

"Hey, Yaya, you're back--" Demyx froze at the intently homicidal expression on her face. "Uh...uh, how did it go?" He asked. She snapped her head in his direction, and Demyx whimpered at the utter bloodlust in her eyes.

"They took. My. Accent." She hissed. "An' I swear t' god, I'mma go find Xemnas, an' I'm gon' kill him." Demyx blinked, as she stormed off. He turned to Xigbar and Xaldin.

"So, it didn't go well?" He said wryly. He certainly hadn't expected it to, but this was more than he'd bet on. Xigbar held up a piece of bloody peach cloth in response.

"Well, I did manage to get a skin 'donation' from the fat bastard bear, because I think that place has a horrible, horrible effect on us. I'm bringing it to Vexen for _science_. And then, I am going to burn it. Horribly. Then take the ashes and burn those." He snarled. Demyx's eyes widened.

"Oh my god, Xiggy! You killed Pooh Bear!" He wailed. He snorted in disdain.

"As if, I just ripped off some skin!" He snapped, then paused. "Woulda gotten the bastard's skull, too, but he moved." Demyx narrowed his eyes.

"That's mean." He pouted. Xigbar groaned.

"Okay, then _you_ can go there next time. I'm going to find the Superior, and get him back for this, too. Xaldin?" He looked back at his friend. The Whirlwind Lancer held up his newly-repointed Wyvern in response. Xigbar grinned.

"Let's go." He purred. The two tore off for Xemnas's office.

Demyx sighed. He should probably go warn the Superior...but Xigbar might get annoyed with him. Xigbar was paramount in Demyx's mind, so he smiled, and went to find Zexion to tell him Yaya was home.

--

Senayax slammed the door open, her blood boiling and foul words, those blessed curses and oaths, already springing to her lips.

"THEY TOOK MY FUCKIN' ACCENT!" Senayax screamed. Xemnas jumped, and looked at the tiny girl standing in the doorway. "That fuckin' stupid fuckin' place fuckin' took my fuckin'...fuckin'...man, I'm fuckin' glad I can fuckin' say that fuckin' word again...fuckin' accent. Those fuckin' fuckers fuckin' took it. Fuckin' stupid fuckin' bear." She grumbled angrily. Xemnas set his book down, and managed not to raise an eyebrow at the sudden stream of curses.

"I take it you didn't like the Hundred Acre Wood." He said dryly. She snarled.

"I hated t'place! BEES! BEES!" She hissed. Xemnas raised a delicate silver eyebrow.

"Dear, it couldn't have been that bad." He said. She snorted.

"T'bear's got some sorta amnesia, t'donkey issa whiny manic-depressive, and th' rabbit be neurotic. I hate that place and when we get Kingdom Hearts, I want t'nuke it. With Heartless." She paused. "Endless swarms of Heartless." Xemnas bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to laugh. Saix merely raised an eyebrow, and stroked her hair gently.

"Don't worry, Yaya. We'll try for something better next time." He said soothingly, kissing the top of her head. She grumbled, but managed to grin.

"Fine...by t'way, Xigbar is going to come in here soon with Xaldin and kill you." She stated. Ignoring their shock, she shrugged. "I hafta ask you a question first, so I'mma lock the door." Xemnas watched numbly as she did so, and then turned to him.

"So...what does it mean when someone tries to eat your face off with their lips?" She asked.

Xemnas stared at her. She stared back, unfazed by his horrified expression. "I saw Axel try to do it wit' Roxas, and I thought they liked each other...but Axel tried t'eat his face off and then Roxas threw a pillow at him." She said, giggling slightly at the memory. Now both the Diviner and the Superior's mouths hung open.

"...I...well..." Xemnas tried to strangle out a reply. Suddenly, a good seven or eight arrowheads imbedded themselves in the door.

"XEMNAS, COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!" Xaldin and Xigbar both shouted. Senayax looked at the other two, still in shock, and sighed.

"I'll go ask someone else." She muttered. She disappeared into the darkness just as Xaldin broke down the door.


	14. One More Midnight

(WARNING: This chapter will make you barf up insulin on your lungs. Also, watch Repo. Or the Repomen will find you. xD

So yeah, MarVex fluff! Well, sort of. xD And I need to work on the prequel. I want at least a few chapters written before I publish it. If anyone still has suggestions, I'm open to them!

This chapter is dedicated to stupid sexy Pavi because it's all his fault. And also to Dub, one of my best friends, for starting all of our stupid Repo memes in the first place. Love you!

Don't own KH, but according to my friends, I'm a walking wiki on it. xD)

* * *

Senayax walked down the hall with an innocent smile on her face as the sounds of cursing in joyfully feral roars and screaming floated down after her. After some meditation on what she needed to find out, she went to the next-most reasonable person she could think of. She knew Vexen would be down in his lab, and so she opened the door and walked down the stone steps, shivering at their chill.

She went down the spiral staircase and looked around. The main section of the lab was empty, but she could hear books being opened and glass clinking behind one of the doors. She grinned, knowing she'd found him.

Vexen had been in the process of examining the swatch of bloodied flesh-cloth that Xigbar had given to him in the name of science when Senayax knocked politely on his door. He opened it and looked down at her. She looked peaceful and cheerful enough, but after her swearing, Xemnas' screaming, and Xigbar and Xaldin's subsequent vengeance, he wasn't taking any chances. "I heard you didn't have fun in the Hundred Acre Wood, Yaya." He said carefully. She stared up at him.

"Xemnas tols me I's gettin' t'nuke it. With Heartless. _Gonna nuke those bees_." She mumbled, lost in her own vengeful musings. Vexen bit back a laugh.

"Lovely. Now, is something wrong?" He asked. Senayax nodded.

"Yeah...Xemnas wouldn't tell me, but I figure you're smart, so you'd know." She said. Vexen puffed up with pride as Marluxia took that exact moment to breeze through the door. Senayax continued. "Vexen, what happens when someone eats your face off with their lips?"

He paused. Marluxia mentally shrieked with glee. He wasted no time in making his move and came closer, managing to run a hand down Vexen's neck, all the way down to the base of his spine.

"Now, Yaya," Marluxia purred, coming up closer behind Vexen, "it's very simple." Vexen turned to see Marluxia standing in front of him, a satisfied grin on his face. His mind screamed at him to run, but whatever vestigial emotions he had left pleaded with him to stay. Unsure of what to do, he simply froze. Marluxia purred, running a tongue across his lower lip like a cat confronted with easy prey. "It's called kissing. People enjoy it very much with people they care about. It's usually less...face-eating. Like so."

Vexen was suddenly swept into the assassin's arms, and Marluxia wasted no time in pressing his lips against his own. Vexen tried to back away, but Marluxia had gathered him into his arms tightly. He shrieked, but it only led to Marluxia slipping his tongue in his mouth. He probed the inside gently, licking hungrily at every inch he could reach. Senayax watched with a slightly grossed-out interest. Vexen's mind was whirling around, trying to think, to breathe, to comphrehend what was going on--

Then Marluxia pulled away. "I'm sure you can figure out how to put it into practice, dear. Run along." He said softly. She blinked in shock as she nodded before she ran away as fast as her tiny legs could carry her. Vexen looked at Marluxia in shock, who only regarded him with a sad smile.

"I'm not giving up, Vexen." He said, vanishing into the darkness. Vexen closed his eyes, and massaged his temples. He was calling a meeting.

--

Amusingly enough, they'd both had the same idea. Marluxia had managed to drag the entire Organization, excluding the original Apprentices, into his room for an "incredibly super important urgent meeting." Vexen had just been blunt and told the others he needed advice on how to deal with Marluxia.

Larxene rummaged through the freezer and tossed the gallon of strawberry ice cream at Marluxia, who snagged it in midair and opened it, poking it with a spoon. "All right, Larxene's pissed at me for making out with him on the lab table in front of Yaya. But seriously, for god's sake, he's being an ass about this! He flirts with me--" Larxene interrupted him.

"Simply by existing?" She said dryly. Marluxia nodded feverently. Saix huffed in disgust as he sat on one of the chairs and motioned for Senayax to join him. Senayax cuddled against him and stroked his hair, which had fallen over the side of his shoulder. He stroked her hair back, combing it with his claws and fondling the strands.

"I'm only here because the duty of protecting our youngest member from all this nonsense falls to me." He said darkly, acknowledging Senayax and pulling her close as if to shield her from Marluxia. Luxord snorted in amusement and pointed to Senayax, who simply watched them all with wide eyes.

"If I recall this story correctly," he said smoothly, "Yaya was the one that sparked this in the first place." She frowned.

"Yeah. I was asking Vexen about the face-eating." She said thoughtfully. They all raised an eyebrow, and the more mature members managed not to giggle.

"Face eating?" Saix asked. She nodded. Saix glared at Axel.

"I believe this is YOUR fault, Lea." He addressed his friend, pulling Senayax slightly closer as he intensified his glare. Axel winced, but managed to grin.

"Can't help it if my Roxy's sexy, Isa. Besides, it's not face eating. It's...it's...it's...well, it's not face-eating." He finished lamely. Saix snorted with a mixture of contempt and amusement.

Axel glared at him. "Oh, you can't tell me you're not fucking the Superior senseless, you hypocrite!" Saix's eyes began to glow yellow and he snarled. Axel glared right back. Senayax hissed at the both of them and narrowed her eyes.

"Stop it right NOW!" She shrieked. Both, to the amazement of the other members, backed down. She huffed, tears forming in her eyes. "Stop arguing, please...I'm sorry if it's my fault, Marluxia..." She sniffled and sank into her seat, the picture of misery as she curled up into a ball of pitifully pathetic monster girl. Saix ran a hesitant hand down her back.

"Please don't cry. It's fine." He whispered. She nodded as she buried her face in his shoulder and sniffled through her tears. Axel sighed, rolling his eyes in amusement at Saix.

"Dammit kid, you really know how to tug nonexistent heartstrings." He drawled. He turned to Marluxia and leaned against the bed, his elbows holding his weight as he pressed his chin against his palms. "Look, Marly, the fact is, you made out with him out of nowhere. You're just too damn flirtatious." He reminded him.

Everyone snorted in disdain as Larxene muttered, "_Stating the obvious now, are we_?" Marluxia glared at her, but she simply raised an eyebrow at him, utterly bemused. Senayax blinked.

"But being nice and kissing is a good thing. I mean, if it's not really face-eating..." She tilted her head, trying to work it out.

"It's not." Axel assured her quickly, trying to ensure she wouldn't go around referring to it as face-eating for the rest of their lives. "But the thing is, it's Vexen. Vexen's...Vexen. So we're probably going down the wrong road here. Let me try to make a list of what you've done..." Axel took out a piece of paper. Marluxia inhaled deeply, and everyone immediately felt uneasy.

"Well, I kissed him like five minutes ago, slapped his ass in the kitchen last week, asked him how big his cock was, like, two days ago, showed up while he was naked in his room and pinned him to the bed--" as Marluxia continued, Axel dropped his pen and stared. Senayax opened her mouth to ask a question and Saix immediately hissed, "_No." _

"Oh my god, you did?! Marluxia, you _ho!" _Larxene howled, laughing hysterically. Marluxia seemed both satisfied and amused. Everyone else stared at him in bemused horror.

--

Once again, it appeared the two were in an odd sort of sync that day as Vexen performed his own rant in front of the Apprentices.

"--and THEN, he decides it would be a great idea to...to _molest_ me in front of Senayax, and then the idiot makes another wretched enigmatic comment before disappearing! _I am getting sick of him disappearing_!" Vexen roared, slamming his hands against the table and coating the area around his hands in ice.

Xemnas put his head in his hands and fought down a sigh. He wished Saix hadn't insisted on going with Senayax, he needed him right now. This day was getting to be too much. Lexaeus simply fiddled with another puzzle as Zexion bit back a scream. Xigbar was slumped on the table, trying desperately not to make noise as he shook with silent laughter. Xaldin closed his eyes for a second in thought.

"...Vexen, don't you LIKE him? Or, well, not MIND him? Why don't you try not playing hard-to-get? He's being pushy because you're being unresponsive. So..." Xaldin trailed off and raised an eyebrow. The other Apprentices seemed to agree. Vexen huffed in disgust.

"I'd sooner die than flirt with him." He grumbled, tossing his hair behind his shoulder and shuddering at the mere thought. Xemnas snorted.

"Lovely. But frankly, I need you both. So I regret to inform you that you're both taking a mission tomorrow--together." He cracked his knuckles and tapped his fingers on the table, staring at his old friend and waiting for his reaction with just a tiny bit of sadistic amusement. Vexen froze as the corner of his mouth twitched involuntarily.

"Superior. Superior, that isn't funny." His eyes got wide and he visibly shuddered as he stared at Xemnas blankly. Xemnas shrugged.

"Neither is getting attacked by my Freeshooter and Lancer--oh, and of _course, _the little monster girl who decided to _knock me on my ass _with one of _the_ most _awkward_ questions I have _ever_ heard asked in my_ life_. I am_ not _having a very good _day_, Vexen. You are _going_ on a mission with _him_ and Senayax. _Be grateful it's just grocery shopping_." Xemnas hissed, finally losing his composure and enunciating random words as he snarled. At this point, everyone was dissolving into giggles behind his back.

Vexen had composure. He had pride.

But he groaned like a bratty teenager and stormed out of the room anyway. Unpeturbed by Vexen's hissyfit, Zexion flipped a page in his book.

"You're being rather mean, Superior." He said, setting the book down and raising an eyebrow. Xemnas rolled a golden eye in his direction, voice muffled as he buried his head in his hands.

"I wasn't kidding about having a bad day. He's going to get laid because it'll make his mood improve and possibly remove the stick from his ass. I've known Vexen for a good fifteen years--he's brilliant but socially stunted." He said bluntly. Zexion chuckled.

"True that." He murmured, flipping another page in his book.

--

Senayax had been thinking during the meeting in Marluxia's room. If people who cared about each other kissed, then she should try it too...she looked at one of the clocks on the wall. It was an hour or so until dinnertime. She could find everyone before then.

She went to the library first. Xaldin had needed some peace and quiet to muse, so he'd come to read. She peeked over Xaldin's shoulder as he read, very quietly and sneakily, (in her opinion.) She then pounced, and kissed him on the cheek before rushing off, shrieking with terrified glee. Xaldin put his book down and stared at the little girl darting down the hallway. He raised an eyebrow, and shook his head. He opened his book again, and debated whether or not to mention this to the others. He grinned.

Nah. Besides, he couldn't _wait_ for Zexion's inevitable freakout.

As she darted down the hallway, the little monster girl was focused on her quarry now, which included the entire Organization. Now the matter at hand was finding them.

She happened to find Axel next as he was on his way to find Saix and bother his puppy.

She giggled in delight and hugged Axel tightly. The dancing flame jumped out of his skin, until he saw the little girl. She smiled at him, and pulled him down to her level so she could kiss him. He raised an eyebrow at her. She grinned, and put a finger to her lips before darting off. Axel snorted. "Oi! Yaya! Most of the guys are playing poker downstairs!" She nodded, and darted downstairs, knocking on the door politely. Xigbar opened the door, and folded his arms.

"What's up, kitten?" He asked, admittedly rather surprised to see her without the company of Saix or Zexion.

She smiled. "Can I come in?" She twirled her hair around her finger, pouting at him.

Xigbar snorted. "Sure, babe. Come on, Luxord's trying to make us all poor." She smiled at him, and took his hand as he led her in. The Nobodies kept a small, warm room for their own pleasures. Usually, it was simple things like reading against the fireplace within, or getting some time by yourself. It was also a good romancing spot, (which was actually what the others were discussing.) Senayax curled up on the couch between Luxord and Larxene as the Gambler shuffled his cards.

"All I'm saying," he said, "is that we lure them both down here, and lock the door. We'll slip a few condoms under it, and put a chair in front of the handle. Foolproof." Roxas laid down a few cards and sighed, deep in thought.

"But how could we get them DOWN? What, do we tell Marluxia that Vexen's naked and tied up down here--" Everyone looked at each other, obviously having been hit with an epiphany. Roxas shook his head in disgusted amazement. "I was just kidding." He grumbled. Then Larxene grinned.

"Now, babycakes, THAT I can arrange." Larxene tapped a finger to her lips. "Shall we say tonight?" The others grinned, nodding. She sniffed delicately, and laid down her cards. "Full house. Pay up, boyos." Everyone grumbled, and pushed their munny towards her. Senayax closed her eyes, and basked in the glow. She sat up, and smiled.

"Oh, right! I have to give everyone kisses!" She sat up and rushed around to each of them. She kissed Larxene, Xigbar, Roxas, and Luxord, smiling at all of them. "I'll go make sure dinner's getting made! Promise not to tell Vexen, promise!" She rushed out of the room. Luxord shook his head and snorted in amusement, leaning back in the chair and rearranging his cards with a smirk on his face. Larxene folded her cards over her mouth to hide a smile. Roxas simply took back his munny while Larxene was distracted.

Senayax headed down the hallway and reached the base of the steps. She mentally ticked off names in her mind as she chewed her lip in thought. The last name on her list...

Her eyes got wide and she tried to hide a blush, even though there was no one in the hallway with her. She had to be careful no one knew what she was thinking.

She walked straight down the hallway and into the kitchen, peeking over the edge of the counter. Vexen sat at the table, scrabbling something down on a chart and muttering darkly under his breath while Xemnas poked at the bread in the oven dutifully, trying not to smile manically as he watched Vexen out of the corner of his eye. Saix noticed her first and paused in his own work, setting his book down. "Is something wrong, Yaya?" He said softly. She shook her head feverently, hoping they didn't see any signs of embarrassment on her face.

"Nooo." She stood on tip-toe. "Just giving everyone a kiss." She kissed him, Xemnas, and Vexen in turn, before darting back out the door. They all looked at each other, and then Vexen, of all people, said what was on all of their minds.

"So, who's going to mention this to Zexion?"

----

Senayax darted down the hall, trying to think about who she'd go to next. She looked down the hall and saw a light blue door slightly ajar. She nodded to herself and decided on Demyx. She crept closer to the door and watched him in his room, waiting for the moment to strike.

Demyx was preparing bed for Xigbar. He liked doing those sort of things for him, just to remind him he was wanted. Demyx knew Xigbar wouldn't admit it, but he loved knowing that Demyx cared. He shook his hair out of his eyes, and smiled to himself. Tonight was going to be special, he would make sure of it. Suddenly, he looked up and saw Senayax in the doorway. He grinned at her in delight. "Hey, Yaya! What are you doing here?" She twirled a bit of hair around her finger.

"Came to give you a kiss. Also, do you know where I could find Marluxia and Lexaeus? I need to give them kisses too." She said solemnly. Demyx laughed.

"Dunno. I figure Marluxia's probably in his room. Lexaeus might be downstairs in the lab, why don't you check?" He offered. She nodded, and threw her arms around him, kissing his forehead.

"Thank you, Demyx." She whispered, before running back out. Demyx looked at the bed he and Xigbar shared, and grinned. He was going to write Xigbar a lovesong, and if he didn't like it, well then he could deal with Arpeggio.

"Isn't that right, Peggy?" He purred to his sitar.

The sitar didn't respond.

Demyx huffed. "One of these days, I'm going to get you a voicebox."

---

Senayax saw petals trailing down the hallway, swirling on an invisible current toward Marluxia's room. Her eyes got wide and she crept towards the door. The flower petals brushed past her cheeks, a few settling in her hair as she walked into his room.

Marluxia had been brushing out his hair, and picking out a perfect outfit for dinner. He was going to dress to impress, reason be damned. Even if Vexen didn't seem to care, _he_ did. It was important to him, just to keep himself beautiful and worthy enough for the man. He sighed, letting his thoughts meander as he brushed his hair.

Vexen wasn't exactly...attractive. At least, not by the standards most people held. Yet...Marluxia could see no flaw in the scientist. He was perfect. His hair, his eyes, his entire body managed to stir something within Marluxia to the point where it was almost painfully sweet to watch him.

Vexen had rough, calloused, burn-scarred hands, so animate and frail, so pale as to be almost translucent. Marluxia wanted to take those hands in his. His hands, which were so smooth, delicate, and almost feminine--in other words, nothing like Vexen's.

One might've called Vexen ugly. One might've called Marluxia beautiful. But to Marluxia, beauty was beauty, and Vexen was _his _beauty. Even if he hadn't figured out how to handle his beauty's thorns yet.

He sighed, suddenly being pricked by a faint feeling of sadness. Then he caught Senayax in the mirror behind him. He turned to her and raised a delicate eyebrow, interrupted in his reverie. "Hello, dearest little Yaya. Is something the matter?" He purred. She shook her head feverently.

"Nope, came here to kiss you." She darted up to him and kissed his cheek delicately, before smiling brightly up at him. "Also, you should wear that pretty silk shirt you have on your bed. I like it." She turned and waved as she left. Marluxia looked at the white shirt, and then at the soft black pants he'd been trying on. He huffed and grinned, smiling in spite of himself. Not a bad idea.

--

Lexaeus looked up from his book as Senayax opened the door to the lab. Her eyes got wide as she observed the entire room. Tubes and bowls and chemicals...and that little "flesh" sample from Pooh Bear. She looked so curious, and so very much like Ienzo after he'd first seen the lab that it almost physically hurt to watch her gaze at the room in wonder. He managed to smile at her, thinking only of her rather than his past.

"Hello, Senayax." He said, slightly surprised by her entrance. She grinned, obviouly wriggling with excitement over something.

"Hi, Lexaeus! Um, I'm here t'give you a kiss." She said, as she hesitantly pecked him on the cheek. Lexaeus thought for a moment. Kisses...kisses. It was a natural conclusion, but he was still curious. So he smiled and then said quietly, "Does Zexion get one?" She put a finger to her lips.

"Sssh. Secret." She giggled, clapping her hands together in excitement. He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair, sighing in amusement. They grinned at each other. He huffed.

"If you say so." He murmured. She smiled, balancing on the balls of her feet for a moment before rushing back out.

--

Of course, no one else intended to keep it a secret. By the time everyone had assembled for dinner, they all knew that Marluxia and Vexen were _both_ going grocery shopping tomorrow _together_--and also that their little monster girl was giving out kisses. The only person she hadn't given one to...was Zexion.

The slate-haired teen gave no sign he cared, or even noticed he'd been left out. But as Senayax chattered about her theory on the Hundred Acre Wood, Lexaeus noticed occasional quiet flashes of hurt crossing his face. He sighed. He'd talk to him after dinner.

"So, the place sucks the darkness out of us." Xemnas folded his hands on the table. "Explain?" She nodded.

"Well, we got all happy and real shinylike. I kept talkin' in exclamations, and I started bouncin'. None of us could swear. Not hell, not piss, not damn, bitch, shit, fuck, cock, ass--" She continued with her litany of curses, as Xemnas glared at Xigbar.

"Really. I wonder who found that out first." He murmured. Xigbar huffed in annoyance. Listening to her continue, getting increasingly creative, Xemnas added, "And I wonder who _taught _her all those words, as well." Xigbar glared at him. Senayax continued, rolling her eyes.

"Well anyways, I think the shiny happy bits of it suck out th' darkness in us...and it gathers somewhere far away from where the Hundred Acre Wood is. Think about it--Issa _hundred _acre wood, an' all we ever travel to is the part with the bear and the goddam bees." She shuddered. "T'_bees_."

Xemnas nodded. "Well, where would it go?" He asked. Senayax shrugged.

"I don't know. If we wanna know, someone else can goddamn go. I en't goin' back." She hissed. Xigbar and Xaldin both appeared to agree. Xemnas had to smile. She tilted her head and sighed in disgust. "Also, I need a shower. I still feel sticky from all that honey."

She was probably too young to understand why both Axel and Marluxia choked on their drinks and began to giggle. That didn't stop Zexion from beating the holy hell out of both of them with his thickest lexicon. Of course, Xemnas put a stop to it before he caused permanent brain damage, (however, as Zexion argued, it was already there), but at least Yaya had started laughing for him.


	15. Goodnight Kisses and Persistence

(OH GOOD LORD THE FLUFF. JESUS CHRIST.

So that's my thoughts on this chapter. xD I'm annoyed that the MarVex fluff seems so...RUSHED, but I promise they'll get even more elaboration in the prequel. Although I admit, the other couples are coming first. Also like the pervy idiot that I am, hee, I have sixty-nine reviews. :B

I don't own Kingdom Hearts and I don't care. I have other things to mention.

This chapter is dedicated to XxDailyDreamxX, for giving me the best review I have recieved in a long time. It means the world to me that someone adores this fic so much. Totally makes my day. Thank you so much, all of you. I worked really hard, and I'm grateful you're all enjoying it.

...Especially since I spent like a month editing it. You BETTER like it. xD)

* * *

Dinner finished, and Zexion went to the library. He selected a few new books with care. She'd quickly read her way through his small collection in his room. They were mostly his special, private ones--ones he'd illustrated or contributed to. He would get her some other novels, perhaps a few more studies on the Darkness and the Heartless. He'd also noticed the book _Tales of the Keyblade Bearers_ was getting a well-loved, slightly worn look about it. He smiled to himself.

He'd started reading to her after a few nights--in fact, the night after he found her reading his teacher's journal, _A Study of the Heartless. _She'd gone over it slowly, and she seemed to be savoring every word. It had pleased him, enough that he'd tugged the book gently out of her hands as she got drowsy, and had begun to read, knowing she was cuddled close and savoring his voice.

He grabbed another book, and tried to fight down the lie that was the sudden lightness in his chest.

"Zexion." The teen jumped halfway out of his skin, before recognizing the voice. Lexaeus stood in the doorway. He turned to him, and tried to smile. He knew what the sudden appearance of his friend was about.

"So." He whispered bitterly. "You all got kissed." Lexaeus chuckled warmly.

"Indeed. However, I will not betray the confidence of a young lady by revealing what she told me...so I will remind you, Zexion, that she's saving the best for last." He said softly. Zexion glared at him.

"Don't turn into Marluxia, please." He grumbled. Lexaeus laughed.

"No, of course not. But it's not out of hatred. Quite the opposite, Zexion. Just...don't question her too much." With that, he disappeared. Zexion sighed heavily and gathered up the books. He'd meet her in their room either way...but he was still unsure.

-----------------

After dinner, Xigbar had seen his kitten dart off, clearly planning something. He grinned as he let space surround him, already planning to pounce on Demyx the moment he found him.

Demyx, however, had other plans. He disappeared in a swirl of darkness, grinning as if to say, "I know you're there, Xigbar." Xigbar swore, and decided he'd go the old fashioned way, and storm through the halls and pray his kitten was on his bed, eager to play.

Xigbar opened his door to find Demyx sitting on the bed in his pajamas, smiling at him. "You said...to make sure your bed was ready. So I--" Xigbar captured his lips in a kiss. He snorted, and pulled away, but not until after he made sure he'd fully savoured the taste he knew so well. He could feel Demyx blush as he nuzzled his lover's cheeks, kissing both to feel the skin under his lips heat up with both shyness and lust.

"My bed? As if, cutie." He murmured, as he pulled his bubbly, deliriously beautiful blonde onto the bed and under the covers with him. "_Our _bed."

Demyx squeaked with delight as he cuddled close against his lover. "Xigbar...I'm so lucky...that I...found you. You're so smart and awesome and brave." He mumbled, before cuddling in his lap and closing his eyes. Xigbar laughed, stroking Demyx's soft hair.

"I'm lucky I found you, kitten. You're bright and happy and the light in my life." He grinned as he kissed him. "My little shinyhead."

Demyx didn't get it, but Xigbar laughed, so it must have been really funny.

* * *

Xaldin yawned, stretching out on his bed and settling back on it with a small sigh of contentment. He'd undone his braids for the night--the one time he'd left them in overnight, he'd undone them later that day, and in Luxord's words, "Yeh look like the Bride of fuckin' Frankenstein."

That was, of course, after he'd stopped laughing.

He managed a small smile of amusement, and closed his eyes. He didn't know where his darling blonde was, but he knew he'd follow him to bed soon enough. Xaldin closed his eyes and fell asleep, exhausted from the day's events.

Luxord crept into their room, and eyed his lover appreciatively. His midnight-colored hair was spread over the sheets, and it shone whenever light from Kingdom Hearts spilled through the window. Luxord reached a hand out to toy with the strands, kissing a few delicately before getting on to the bed. He grinned wickedly, and began to tug carefully at the buttons on his lover's shirt.

Xaldin awoke to Luxord stripping him of his pants. He yelped and sat up, a blush already staining his cheeks. "Lux, what...what...what are you _doing?" _He hissed. Luxord shrugged, and continued yanking them down.

"Those pants are gorgeous and all, but they're very much in the way." He said. Xaldin stared.

"In the way of what, exactly?" He murmured, unsure--but possessing a good theory--of what he meant. Luxord snorted.

"Don't get any ideas, you, I'm exhausted." He muttered in amusement, watching Xaldin roll his eyes in disgust. Finally yanking his pants off, he curled in the crook of Xaldin's arm and cuddled close, shivering slightly before he sighed in contentment and began to stroke his lover's chest. "Body heat." He mumbled, before falling asleep.

Xaldin just laughed, pulling the blanket over both of them.

* * *

Vexen knew that Marluxia had worn that outfit to turn him on. That didn't bother him. What bothered him is that it HAD. He sighed heavily, and stormed downstairs to that small, plush room Demyx had discovered.

Marluxia had seemed so...subdued. Vexen couldn't help but wonder if it had been his fault. He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.

Marluxia was the most stubborn, twisted, and altogether alien man he had ever met. He didn't understand how someone like _him _could continue going _mano a mano _with someone of his intellect!

Yet...Marluxia wasn't fazed by him in the slightest. All the pride that he had, his admittedly nonexistent social skills, his short temper, and his...appearance. Vexen shuddered.

He wasn't stupid, not even in matters of beauty and grace. He was nothing next to Marluxia. To be frank, nothing next to most anyone. What would it matter if Marluxia showed interest? Vexen sighed.

Even if they had hearts, it wouldn't matter. Marluxia would take his pleasure and leave. Vexen knew his body wasn't worth much else. He shuddered, and closed his eyes to block out pain he couldn't really feel.

He was nothing. A frozen wasteland. Vexen managed a wry smile. Not even the grand botanist himself could grow a flower there.

Yet...he'd tried.

Vexen took a blanket, and pulled it close, deep in thought. Marluxia had tried to seduce him more than anyone else ever had. If he could have his pick of anyone, (and Vexen was sure that he could), why would he stay? To continue this endless dance, dealing with all the times he would lash out and hide from his affections? Would someone who simply wanted a body warming his bed do such a thing? Vexen sighed.

No. He couldn't deny it, he knew the answer. It was something else. He knew why, he just didn't _understand. _He shook his head, and closed his eyes. If he ever could work up the courage, perhaps he'd ask Marluxia.

He let the fireplace flicker, and the flames dance hungrily over the wood. The heat wasn't bothering him right now. Perhaps it would melt some of the ice that he surrounded himself with.

* * *

Larxene crept down the steps, having discarded her heels for quieter shoes. She raised an eyebrow, realizing the fire was still on. "Tch, Vexy. Bit daft for a scientist." She giggled, getting closer. Vexen didn't stir.

Larxene looked down at her sleeping quarry. "Oh man, this is too god damn easy." She cackled. "I love my life." She smiled as she dutifully bound him to the couch. She ran a hand through her hair, and looked up at Kingdom Hearts. The moon seemed to wink at her. She knew...they couldn't feel. But she felt lonely anyways. She smiled to herself. _At least...even with Vexen...Marluxia hasn't stopped caring about me._

She disappeared to a room she knew better than her own. He was waiting for her there, an understanding expression on his face. She smiled weakly at him. "I brought chocolate." She offered. He grinned at her.

"I've got cheesecake and _Mommie Dearest. _Shall we?" He said softly. She took the arm he offered her, and pulled him on the bed to watch.

"We shall." She mumbled.

* * *

Senayax liked the bathroom. The shower was tile and mosiac--a large window let the light of Kingdom Hearts shine through, and she washed under the pale light of the heart-shaped moon. She rushed a cloth over her body, and looked down at it. It was so strange. Gangly and thin in some places, but those...breasts.

She poked one experimentally, and blinked in surprise as the flesh made a small valley under her finger. It was...soft. They were so strange. She shrugged, and soaped them, too. Larxene said men liked them. She couldn't understand why. In fact, what was the point of liking a body? It was just...skin and stuff. The heart mattered. The soul mattered.

She closed her eyes in thought as she let the water sluice off the soap and conditioner. The body was a husk that they had retained. Was...it worth loving a husk? It would be silly. And everyone she knew was so smart. So they obviously didn't love hollow husks. That must mean there was still something inside them...worth loving.

She grinned to herself. "Maybe someday I can be as smart as Vexen, or mebbe Xemnas." She whispered. She giggled at the thought, as she let the water give her one last wash. She stepped out of the shower, and grabbed a fluffy blue towel, walking down the hallway and towards her room with Zexion.

She chewed her lip, deep in thought as she watched Kingdom Hearts float over her. Zexion had seemed real annoyed during dinner, and she didn't know why. She would ask him...maybe it was her fault? Her eyes widened in shock.

It was her fault, she just _knew _it! She must've made him sad...

She sighed. She had to figure out a way to make Zexion smile.

As she saw the door, she burst right in and dropped her damp towel around her feet. He blinked in shock, startled out of his thoughts as she looked at him curiously. "Zexion? Do you have my jammies?" She asked,

His brain immediately shrieked at him that it was horrifically wrong to feel any sort of sexual interest when she was using the word _jammies, _for god's sake, but holy mother. He nodded weakly, and dug through his drawers until he found them. He handed them to her, and she smiled at him, dressing quickly before getting into bed. Her rabbit sat there, right where he had loyally waited all day. She looked at him quizzically. "Zexion, are you angry with me?" She asked quietly. Zexion started in shock.

"What would make you think that, Yaya?" He asked, terror already shooting through his veins. The emotions were faint and vague, but the memory of her screams of hatred still haunted him. She sighed.

"Um, 'cause you were all sad and real weepylike at dinner. So I was wonderin' if I'd done somethin' wrong..." She said, wringing her hands nervously. Zexion shook his head. He couldn't tell her what had made him sad, but he would reassure her as best he could.

"Yaya, I'm not angry at you. Not at all. You didn't make me sad, either. I just have a lot on my mind." He murmured. It was the truth, but not the whole truth. That was something he couldn't tell her. It wasn't lying...but he still felt guilty.

He shook his head and changed the subject. "Yaya, what about your bunny? Do you like it?" He asked. Senayax giggled and cuddled him close, snuggling up against Zexion's shoulder and smiling up at him in delight.

"Ayuh! But...he needs a name." She said solemnly, tugging on his ear gently. Zexion nodded, relieved she was unperturbed by his sudden change of topic.

"We'll think of one tomorrow, perhaps." He replied, stroking her hair gently. She nodded. Suddenly, it seemed as if she'd remembered something. She turned to him and smiled.

"You're goin' to sleep?" She said, yawning slightly. He nodded, climbing into bed with her and leaning against the pillows. She observed him for a second, getting up on her knees to lean over him. He didn't move. He was barely breathing as she stared at him. Her eyes shone with an odd, sweet curiousity as they met his. With a soft, gentle bow, she lowered her head, and kissed him full on the lips. He closed his eyes, and for a second, stopped caring about her age. What mattered in that moment was her fresh, wet, clean, and absolutely _divine_ scent, and her delicate little lips against his. He moaned quietly as she pulled away and smiled at him.

"Today...was good. I kissed everyone I cared about." She mumbled sleepily. She cuddled under the covers, and nuzzled close to his neck, leaning against him. Zexion wrapped his arms around her without any second thoughts and kissed her forehead as her breathing became soft and even.

* * *

Marluxia was confused. Larxene had opted to sleep in his room after the movie had ended, but in a rare display of feminine vanity, she told him to go out to the plush room before they went to bed so she could dress. He figured she just didn't feel up to being her normal shameless self that night, and he couldn't blame her. With Senayax showing up, their little routine had been thrown out of order more than it had been with any of the others. Mostly because she was so much younger. He sighed as he dismissed the thought and opened the door.

He walked down the steps, and his eyes widened. Vexen was bound to the couch, legs spread and arms high above his head. He shifted in his sleep slightly, causing his blonde hair to spill over his shoulders, looking all the world like the virgin bride asleep for one hundred years. Marluxia simply stared for a minute, before it finally clicked--this was why Larxene hadn't come down with him. He sighed.

He wanted him. God, did he want Vexen. _Needed _the academic, needed him in his arms, pressed as close to him as he possibly could be. It was like a constant ache, and seeing Vexen open to his pleasure made his body stir in response.

But to take advantage of him? He would be worthy of the disgust the man seemed to send his way.

This settled in his mind, he began to undo the knots.

--

Vexen awoke to Marluxia standing over him, untying a rope that was around his hands. He immediately shrieked and Marluxia jumped, jolted out of his work. "Oh! Vexen! You're awake." He said, surprised. Vexen hissed, and immediately set to shifting away from Marluxia as best as he possibly could, given his situation.

"Of course I'm awake! What the hell are you doing?!" He spat. Marluxia sighed as he held up a section of untied rope.

"The others tied you up for me." He stated flatly. Vexen was aghast for a second, trying to process that. Then he blinked.

"Wait. So you didn't..." He said, eyes widening. Marluxia, of all people, hadn't tried to take advantage of him? Marluxia flashed him a small grin, interrupting his thoughts.

"Well, some things are too easy, even for me." He said cheerfully. Vexen merely stared, before inclining his head in what might've been a nod. Marluxia kissed his forehead. "Besides, I daresay the fire's warmed you up a bit, darling. Perhaps now some flowers may grow." He murmured. Vexen saw the darkness beginning to swirl around him and in a desperate bid to make him stay, he shrieked, "Don't you DARE disappear, Marluxia!" The man himself simply laughed.

"Sorry babe, I'll let you get some sleep." Marluxia purred as he blew him a kiss before disappearing into the darkness with a small wave. Vexen stared at the spot where he had been, and then at the door.

His next move was going to take his dignity and shoot it behind the chemical sheds. But_ fuck it. _He stormed up the steps, feeling ice form and crunch under his feet. Oh, how he cursed the name of this man...this awful, rotten, horrendous...man...and his shameless demeanor...with his_ flowers_...and his _smile_...and...and his..._beauty_...and his _grace_, his _elegance,_ his...

Vexen swore profusely as he tromped up the steps to Marluxia's room.

--

Inside his room, Marluxia shook his head and sighed heavily. He accepted that he shouldn't take advantage of Vexen...but he was still kicking himself for not doing so. Dammit to hell, he'd been chained to the damn couch! He paused.

Only one person would do that sort of thing.

Sure enough, he turned back to his bed and found a note lying on top of it. "_Good luck! --Larly." _Marluxia sighed with amusement.

"Won't be necessary, I suppose..." He murmured, trying to shake off his sadness. Marluxia shrugged off his coat and fell back in bed, closing his eyes. However, sleep was fleeting at best, and a total dick at the worst. He couldn't stop thinking about Vexen.

If he'd done it...He would've shattered what made Vexen so beautiful. His pride, his dignity, his elegant arrogance, and...if he'd ruined that...

For a moment, Marluxia propped himself up on his elbows, deep in thought.

If he'd given in to lust, if he'd taken the man without his consent...it would have ruined what he wanted to build. Vexen was his precious rose--one that he'd painstakingly taken care of, even when the thorns stung his hands and made him bleed, and even when the petals shrunk away from him, withering in disgust. He was beautiful. If he'd taken advantage of Vexen, it would be akin to pulling a flower out by its' roots.

Vexen was his prize, his focus. He was the one thing Marluxia wanted above all else. Of course, Marluxia was not a foolish man. He knew that to possess such a treasure, and be possessed in return...would take time.

But spring had started to arrive, even for his ice queen, his beautiful academic trapped in a frozen wasteland. Marluxia liked to think he'd had a hand in that. He managed a smile, before closing his eyes and falling asleep almost immediately, exhaustion finally taking over.

Five minutes later, Vexen stood at the door to Marluxia's room. He paused for only an instant. He considered whether or not it was worth it. Then he thought of Marluxia's smile once more. He quickly decided that he'd gone this far and there was no going back.

He slammed open the door without another thought, breathing heavily. Marluxia sat up in his bed, and Vexen noted with horror and slight arousal that _he slept naked. _He blinked in sleep-induced confusion, unaware of Vexen's sexual frustrations coming to light. "...Mm? Vex...Vexen?" He mumbled, blinking in surprise. Vexen locked eyes with him for a moment.

Marluxia saw it. There was no more disgust in that glance. It had been replaced with love. Timid, fragile love desperate for acceptance...but Marluxia didn't care.

His rose had bloomed. After all his care, Vexen had finally accepted him and let him lead the ice queen out of his wasteland. Marluxia refused to let a single tear fall as he watched Vexen.

"Move over." He stated. Seeing his nonchalance, Marluxia snuffled and pushed a pillow on the other side of the bed before snuggling back under his covers. Vexen rolled his eyes so hard that they suddenly felt like he'd just sprained them. "Really? After all this effort?" Marluxia didn't respond. He was already snoring softly. Vexen grumbled, and got in bed, huffing in indignation. "For giving up my dignity, the least you could do is _stay awake." _No response.

Then Marluxia wrapped his arms around him, and pulled Vexen close, burying his face in the academic's neck. He made a slight noise of contentment, and sighed, falling back asleep for the last time. Vexen stared. Then he managed to smile, and kissed his hair. "Sleep well, my persistent little love." He whispered.

--


	16. Believe

(Oh look another stupid short fluffy chapter. Sorry guys. D: But the thing is, there's some more editing I want to do. I left out a bit of new parts I had added later on, and I want to expound on other characters. So if I can't update /this/, then I'll definitely start publishing that drabble collection. As a warning for that though, it's not really a linear plot; just all the Org and how they all ended up in the World that Never Was, and how some of them fell in love.

This chapter is dedicated to my boyfriend, because he hasn't gotten a dedication and this is shameful. xD I love you, Jack~

Also dedicated to everyone else I love, so I'm not totally drenching this chapter in fluffy romantic goo.

Don't own Kingdom Hearts, and you can thank god for that.)

* * *

Morning arrived, and Zexion glared at the light amethyst sky balefully as his Yaya got dressed. He did NOT want her to leave. But it was grocery shopping. Simple, easy, and no potential for troublemaking. Except...

"Yaya, please promise me that if Marluxia and Vexen try to kill each other, you leave the groceries and come home. Do you understand?" He said. She giggled as she nodded, clearl amused by his worries. Zexion huffed. "I wasn't kidding. If they try to kill each other, or make out against the shelves, or whatever...look, just leave the groceries and _come home." _He pleaded. She tilted her head and surveyed him for a moment. He stood stockstill as he watched her. She finally nodded.

"Okay." She replied, smiling at him cheerfully. He smiled with relief as he kissed her forehead. She giggled and hugged him tightly, before she put the clothes that she had borrowed from Roxas on and followed him to the kitchen.

The first thing Zexion noticed was that Marluxia was within ten inches of Vexen, and Vexen wasn't attempting to strangle him. The other thing was that Marluxia smelled of flowers, like he always did--but so did Vexen. His eyes widened slightly.

Vexen looked at him, and the glare he gave Zexion would've been enough to wither the hearts and minds of ten brave warriors. Fortunately, Zexion was one moody teenager. He glared right back. Senayax was utterly oblivious to the vicious staredown, eating her breakfast while closing her eyes in thought. "Do you have the list, Vexen?" She asked. He held it up.

"Yes, and we should hurry. After all, we should be back before lunch--we'll just have a late breakfast." He said, still glaring at Zexion, who kept glaring back, thoroughly amused. She nodded sleepily, and hugged Zexion, unaware of the staredown that was taking place.

"See you later, Zexion." She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek before disappearing into the Corridor with Marluxia and Vexen. Zexion sighed and shook his head. He missed her already. A small grin reached his lips. If he told her that, she'd probably tease him. But it was nice to see her laughing...even if it was at him.

As Zexion stood up to find breakfast, he heard Xaldin walk in. Zexion passed him the box of cereal, which he impaled on a lance with an amused smirk.

"You know, someone untied Vexen." He said casually. "Do you think he got out himself...?" Saix had followed him in with the Superior right behind him.

"No." He said shortly. "I heard Vexen upstairs in Marluxia's room." The four Nobodies all looked at each other. All were too dignified to pump fists, but they did share a small smirk with each other.

* * *

As the three reappeared in Traverse Town, Vexen sighed. He just didn't know what to do right now, and it annoyed him more than most anything did--the lack of knowledge. He'd think about it later. Right now, he had to take a little girl shopping. He had never done it before, but considering how Xigbar and Xaldin had fared with the Hundred Acre Wood...he was terrified, and rightly so.

Vexen noted the tiny buildings in Traverse Town, trying to remember which was the food store. He also reminded himself that they'd need to go clothes shopping for Senayax. She looked up at the sky and then stared at the ground, trying to take everything in. "The sky is different here. It's blue." She whispered. "Like, a real pretty blue." She paused. "Don't see that often. Haven't for a long time." She shuddered. "Th' smoke dirtied it all up...but it's better now." Marluxia nodded as he took her hand, squeezing it gently.

"Yeah. It is." He murmured. She nodded sleepily, and her eyes refocused for a moment to look up at him.

"I didn't mean to do it, you know." She murmured. Marluxia stared at her for a moment. She sighed. "In th' village...th' burnin'...but I know that en't me. Sora, I meaned. 'Cause of Roxas an' all." She looked up at him. "It hurt Roxas, dinnit?" She asked. It was barely a question, and he knew she knew the answer, but he told her anyway.

"Yes." Marluxia said. She nodded.

"Can it get better?" She asked. This time, Marluxia smiled.

"Yes." He told her. Senayax nodded, taking his hand as both of them followed Vexen onward.

"List, let's see..." Vexen checked it. "Bread, beef, eggs, milk, coffee creamer, flour, sugar, oranges, fruit juice, the toasty souls of the damned..." His eyes narrowed. "Every time, Xigbar? _Really_?" He muttered darkly. Senayax giggled. Vexen continued, but not before rolling his eyes at her. She simply smiled at him.

"Heavy cream, frosting, sprinkles, ice cream, apples, grapes, cereal--and the Superior says SPECIFICALLY that we are not to get any sugary ones--pasta, butter, mushrooms, fudge, cookies, cinnamon rolls, and tampons." Vexen paused. He handed the list to Marluxia. "Marluxia, read that again." He said through clenched teeth. The pink-haired man took it from him.

"Tampons. Oh, Larly must be worried about Senayax! Don't worry, I think we'll just get pads for her this time, those tampons look like sticks of dynamite or little albino vampire penises or something. It's so damn gross." He gagged dramatically. Vexen visibly shuddered.

"Why do you know those things?" He asked, raising his eyebrows so high he felt like they'd disappeared into his hairline. Marluxia poked his tongue out.

"Being friends with a girl has its' benefits." He grinned. "Besides, at least I'm not afraid to shop for them, unlike you." He teased. Vexen sighed heavily.

"Lovely. Let's just go." Vexen pointed at a shop across the food store. "Yaya, listen to me. Go get some clothes, but for the love of god, try not to burn the building down or anything else that will make a scene. Come find us when you're done." She nodded solemnly, and darted off. Vexen turned to Marluxia, who regarded him quietly. Vexen honestly didn't know what to say to him. They both walked into the store and without a word, Marluxia took his hand.

Vexen closed his eyes for a second. The other people barely noticed them--they were so wrapped up in their lives, their friends and family. Vexen envied them, for being so simple and pure. They weren't. They were...complicated, impure, inhuman.

"Doesn't matter, you know. What they are, and what we're not." Marluxia murmured. Vexen looked at Marluxia, who turned to him and smiled. He blinked in surprise as Marluxia laughed. "You're not that hard to read, Vexy." He teased. The blonde narrowed his eyes at him.

"Vexy." He stated. Marluxia grinned. Vexen huffed in annoyance as he shook his head. "Nevermind. It _does_ matter, doesn't it? They can love. We can't. They can feel...and we can't. We can only remember." He muttered bitterly. Marluxia ran a gentle hand down his back. Vexen started in surprise before he arched his back slightly into the touch. Marluxia sighed in amusement as he toyed with his lover's hair.

"Ah, Vexen. Sometimes, memories are enough. Besides, I geniunely like you." He said cheerfully. Vexen fought it down, but he could feel the blush rising to his cheeks anyway. Marluxia smiled. "I mean, you're just...fascinating. All of you. Your pride, your coldness, your blunt attitude, your dedication. It enthralls me. We can understand--maybe not feel, but it's like...we can comprehend, you know?" He chewed his lip for a moment, lost in thought.

"Like...Larxene and I are best friends, no doubt. I know she's my best friend, and I know I enjoy her company. Feelings don't really matter. Because...I know. I know for certain I'm in love with you. Feelings...feelings will come in time, to all of us." Marluxia sighed. Vexen bowed his head, cursing his tear ducts for daring to function. Marluxia grinned at him and stroked his hair gently, crooning a soft song for a moment before he brushed his tears away.

"You don't have to curse your feelings, Vexen." He said softly. "We all want them back." Vexen could only nod. He took Marluxia's hand, tighter this time. He could feel the man tense in surprise--and then relax, evidently pleased. Vexen was slightly surprised at how peaceful and happy that made him feel, no matter how faint the feelings were.

"It's...it's worth it, isn't it? To feel. But...why should we stop enjoying ourselves? We were strong enough to survive the Heartless. That alone is worth something. If...if we were strong enough to survive, then we're strong enough to work for our hearts...and wait." Vexen murmured. Marluxia nodded.

"Yeah. We can have fun in the interim." He laughed, as Vexen smiled. This time, he was the one that leaned in and kissed Marluxia. He ignored the other male's light blush to spare him the loss of his pride.

"I'm sure. However, this kiss is simply to get you back for last time." He purred. Marluxia laughed as he kissed back.

"I'll pretend to believe that for now." He teased. Vexen groaned and swatted him playfully as he savored the sound of his lover's laugh.

-------------------

Senayax looked around the store she'd chosen and her eyes went wide. For a little girl who had worn black coats or tattered hand-me-downs her entire life, the colorful prints, scarves, shawls, jewelry, and dresses were like an oasis of color. She darted into the racks, smiling at the prospects.

Squall Leonhart, by pure chance, happened to be shopping there as well.

Leon was unsure as to why he was shopping for Aerith and Yuffie back in Traverse Town. Frankly, he was afraid to ask. (Tifa had told him to do it, and he wasn't in the mood to get kicked in the face.) He sighed as he grabbed a few dresses off the racks for Aerith and a few tee-shirts for Yuffie. He was just grateful it was for simple things.

Then he saw the little girl from before. She wasn't wearing the Organization's coat, but it was her. He almost didn't recognize her. For a moment, he wondered if maybe Tifa had known and sent him here for a reason. He dismissed the thought quickly, turning his thoughts back to her.

Her pain and misery had disappeared. A smile was spread across her face and she was picking through a mountain of colorful scarves while trying on an obnoxiously yellow dress.

Leon tried to leave the store, but she must have heard him. She looked up at him and smiled as their eyes met. He didn't know what to say. In the end, she spoke for him.

"It's okay. I'm all right now." She said quietly. He was stunned by the spark of contentment and joy in her eyes. He had nothing to say to it, so he simply nodded.

She tilted her head, a thought suddenly rushing back into her brain. "Oh...and um, tell Sora I'm all right too. An' that I'm happy there." She said. He managed to finally say something.

"I promise." He murmured. She nodded. The look in her eyes made him tremble for a moment. Something about her seemed to remind him that she wasn't really a little girl. But that something wouldn't tell him what she was. He swallowed for a moment. "What...what's your name?" He asked. She smiled.

'I'm Senayax." She said. He nodded.

"Squall...Leonhart. Leon." He managed to say. She nodded solemnly and clutched his hand for a minute.

"Thank you." She said softly. He blinked as he shook his head, turning back to the register to get their clothes. When he looked back, she had disappeared, probably having headed back into the racks of clothing. He snorted and looked away, trying to hide his amusement at the odd encounter. He smiled to himself as he left the store, trying to fight it down but losing the battle.

Although, whatever the case, Sora would probably be happy to hear some news about her.

* * *

Senayax was a very young girl, left alone in a clothing store for almost an hour. She had a wallet full of munny, an attraction to bright colors, and no adult supervision.

In retrospect, that _really_ hadn't been a good idea on Vexen's part.

She'd already purchased a ton of colorful wraps, shirts, pants, and dresses, in all the colors of the rainbow--and bangles. Shiny silver jangling bracelets, big silver cuffs, and lots of beaded necklaces. By the time Vexen and Marluxia had found her, they could only manage steering her back into the shop and buying her a few plain pairs of pants and some regular t-shirts that weren't seven different colors.

Marluxia thought it was hysterical. Xemnas did not.

"How?!" He muttered, pacing his office and shaking his head in disgust. "I asked you to go GROCERY SHOPPING! Buy her some clothes!" He snapped. Vexen shrugged, trying to fight down a smile.

"She did get clothes, Superior. We got her a few...less..._loud _outfits, rest assured. Besides, she _is_ a little girl. If it makes her happy and she likes wearing it, I don't see a problem--just because the rest of us are plainer in our clothing choices apart from our coats doesn't mean she must be." He reminded his friend, still trying to fight down a smile at his evident annoyance. Xemnas glared at both of them.

"She's wearing a bright yellow dress with a lime green sash that has white polka dots on it. She has a_ sunhat _on. _There is no sun in this world. _It's not a question of her wearing what she wants, it's a matter of her looking like she's been dressed by a colorblind chimp!" He snapped.

Senayax, of course, chose then to have followed Saix into the Superior's office. The happiness that had floated in her wake the entire day seemed to deflate. The dress itself seemed to darken. They all froze.

Her bottom lip trembled as Xemnas mentally kicked himself. "I...I just...thought they looked pretty." She whispered, as she wrung her hands and closed her eyes. Xemnas saw tears gather, and he groaned quietly.

"I'm sorry, Yaya. Perhaps I just don't understand the appeal." He murmured. She nodded slowly, shoulders shaking with an obvious effort not to cry. He sighed, sitting down and tapping his desk. "Come here." She shuffled over to him, keeping her head low. He sighed, and lifted up the hat to run a gentle hand through her hair. Tears shone in her eyes as she stared up at him.

Xemnas settled the hat back on her head and tried to smile at her. "You do look nice. But when we're going out, what will happen? People want to hurt us, Yaya. It's better that we try not to be seen." He murmured. She nodded, rubbing her eyes to get rid of the tears.

"Can I still wear them, though?" She pleaded. He sighed heavily. He knew he should say no, but she just looked so damn adorable and tiny in those stupid clothes.

"Yes. Just...try to make sure they match." He said dryly. She looked up at him, and to his surprise, she began to giggle, turning into a full-blown laugh. Xemnas surprised himself by feeling amused as well.

* * *

She'd headed down to dinner, still in the massive white sunhat and the brightly colored, obnoxiously cheerful ensemble. A bright blue necklace made of massive beads bounced and clacked against her barely-there chest, and five silver bangles on each arm announced her entrance with chiming gusto.

Everyone raised an eyebrow as she darted in, sliding down and skidding to a stop on one of the chairs next to Xaldin and across from Zexion. She grinned, tapping her feet against the legs of her chair. She didn't seem to notice everyone's amusement as the plates were set.

"No toasty souls of the damned? Bullshit, Vexen, I know they stock them." Xigbar snapped, trying to hide a smile. Vexen glared at him. Since Xigbar was busy laughing uproariously, Demyx glared in Xigbar's place. Vexen merely shook his head and huffed, opening a novel. Larxene snorted, watching Senayax adjust her sash with a small chirp of satisfaction as it settled around her waist.

"...Wow, Marluxia. You totally made her fabulous, I can tell you that." Larxene sniped from across the table. Marluxia groaned as he waved his hand in the air emphatically.

"Bitch, please. For once, this wasn't MY fault. Vexen totally let her do that shit by herself." Marluxia replied, smirking at his newfound lover. Senayax nodded feverently. The blonde gave him a halfhearted snarl before returning to his book. Larxene snorted.

"You're such an asshole, Marly." She said, keeping her voice completely deadpan. They both looked at each other for a moment before both of them began laughing hysterically.

Throughout the whole dinner, the sunhat kept slipping over Senayax's eyes. Eventually, she had started a rhythm of pushing it up every ten seconds or so. Zexion had been biting back a smile the entire time, until she looked at him and asked, "How d'I look?" He wanted to joke, but it rushed out.

"You look beautiful." He told her. She smiled brightly at him as everyone else exchanged amused glances. Zexion glared at them all before going back to his food. "She does." He muttered, fumbling for one last bit of dignity.

She giggled as she hugged him tightly. Suddenly, her head tilted and she seemed to have suddenly remembered something. "Hey, guys. Does anyone have a name for my bunny?" She held it up from the place where it had sat for the entire dinner. They all looked at each other.

"Soulcrusher." Xigbar offered. Xemnas glared at him. Xigbar merely grinned. Senayax sighed, cuddling the rabbit close.

"Uh, no." She huffed. Demyx tapped his lips, thinking.

"Etta Marie?" He said thoughtfully. Senayax shook her head. Luxord pulled a card from his deck, examining it.

"I don't think the Tarot's gonna work, love, but h'bout Venus?" He offered. She shook her head again. Soon, everyone started offering suggestions.

"Diana?" "Frollo?" "Bonsai?" "Matches?" "Sir Stuffingston?" Suggestions were flying at her from everyone, but Senayax shook her head to each one in turn. Then her eyes closed and she tilted her head in thought again, her face becoming blank and serene once more. Once she'd opened her eyes, she looked down at the rabbit and smiled.

"I'm gonna call him Ienzo." She announced.

Zexion choked on his water and began to cough, face red as everyone else merely raised their eyebrows. She looked up at him, confused. "What's wrong? It's a pretty name. I like it. Reckon...it'll be nice." She knotted her fingers together nervously. "You know, for you to have a bit of who you were in him...and with me."

Zexion set his book down and looked at her, clutching the newly-named Ienzo. She smiled nervously at him, unsure of his reaction. He pulled her clos and stroked her hair. "Thank you." He whispered. "Thank you." She smiled up at him, before suddenly realizing something.

"Zexion, if I love the bunny enough...he becomes real, right?" She asked. Zexion nodded, unsure of what she meant. Senayax grinned.

"So, if we love each other enough...then we become real too, right?" She said. Everyone at the table paused, unsure of what to tell her. Then Zexion broke the silence.

"I hope so." He murmured.

And when she smiled at him, he knew that was enough.


	17. A Question of Protection

(Larxene/Lexaeus is my hetero OTP for Kingdom Hearts. Trufax. I mean, it makes no sense but who cares. And I swear to god, what the hell, the past four chapters have been fluff. But there's angst/gore/etc in the next few, I swear to god, and then a few chapters after that, you may or may not want to punch me in the face, I don't know.

Also HGSS HGSS HGSS and if you were talking to me yesterday I almost exploded into a puddle of fangasm. I have both cause I'm a ho. If anyone else got them, DON'T THEY ROCK!? If you didn't get them, you suck. xD

I don't own Kingdom Hearts, because as I figure should be clear by now, they totally wouldn't let me within five feet of whatever they put into canon. xD

This chapter is dedicated to everyone I know and love who hasn't had a dedication yet.)

* * *

For a moment, the whole room was silent, savoring the idea of their hearts. Then something seemed to settle back in place, and everyone suddenly snapped to attention.

"Right...missions tomorrow. Where do we need to go? Is there anything urgent that needs to be done?" Xaldin asked. Xemnas shook himself out of the stunned stupor, and nodded.

"Yes. We really need to get back to Hollow Bastion. I heard the Keyblade bearer had gone back while I was investigating around Traverse Town. I shall go, along with Larxene, Marluxia, Lexaeus, and Xigbar." They all nodded, and Xigbar groaned in relief about not having to go back to the Hundred Acre Wood. Demyx interrupted, staring at Xemnas.

"Xigbar is going." He said quietly. Xemnas nodded, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Yes, Demyx. I told you." He said.

Demyx; gentle, bubbly, cheerful Demyx--snarled at the Superior. Out and out _snarled. _

The table fell silent all at once.

Xigbar turned to him in complete shock, unable to speak. Everyone else seemed equally stunned.

"He is _not _going unless _I _am going with him. I will _not _be separated from him if the Keyblade wielder is going to be present. If he fades away, I will never forgive myself--or_ you_, Xemnas--if I am not there to protect him." He spat. Senayax looked around in wonder as the attitudes and tensions in the room shifted. Xigbar appeared to be incredibly surprised, and Xemnas...well, Xemnas's face was neutral...but his attitude had shifted.

"How do you think you could protect him, IX?" He said softly. "You? Who despises fighting?" Demyx glared at him, as Xigbar began to mouth, '_Don't do it, Dem,' _from across the table.

"I don't care. I don't like fighting, but if he's in danger I _will _fight. It's not a question of despising it or not, it's a question of protection." He snapped, meeting Xemnas' gaze as Xemnas simply continued to stare at him.

"Would you fade into the darkness in his place, then? Even knowing your feelings are a lie?" He said softly. Demyx clutched the table for support as he gathered his courage to say one clear and simple word.

"Yes."

Xemnas waited for an explanation, and Demyx immediately gave one. "Because they're not a lie! I know it! I know that I _would _die for him! So...so..._so I'm going!" _He glared at Xemnas. "Even if you don't let me!"

Xigbar was stunned into silence--as was everyone else. The kitchen was tense, waiting for the explosion. Senayax was the first to speak.

"Yeah! I'll go with you, Demyx!" She cheered. Zexion stared at her in horror. He dropped his book and stood, slamming his hands on the table.

"Oh no, you're not!" He hissed. "I would sooner send you into a nest of vipers!" He snapped, trying to hide his worry. She glared at him. He glared back, but she stood her ground and put her hands on her hips. Her dress fluttered and her beads and bangles clanked as she stamped her foot against the floor in frustration and temper.

"If Demyx gets to protect the people he cares about, so do I!" She snapped indignantly. Zexion groaned, fighting down a shudder.

"You've done enough protecting!" He hissed. She pouted at him, still obviously frustrated that he didn't understand. Her beads clacked against her chest as she looked up at him, glaring at him with narrowed eyes.

"No such thing, Zexion!" She replied angrily. Xemnas held up a hand for silence.

"Neither of you are going. This is dangerous, and I need experienced and capable fighters who will not hesitate. That's my final word on this subject." He said shortly. Demyx and Senayax both glared at him and stormed out of the kitchen as Senayax slammed the door behind them. Xigbar stood up and sighed.

"Damn it all, Demyx." He muttered, leaving the room to follow after him. The kitchen fell silent again, everyone glancing harriedly at each other, worried about the fallout from the argument. Zexion shut his book, and looked at Xemnas.

"Thank you." He said softly. "I just...I can't...I know they both mean well," he said, as Xemnas observed him, slightly puzzled by his reaction, "but...but I just...God, she's way too young for this." He put his head in his hands, and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"I hate this--just, just...all of it." He sighed. "They're not supposed to fight. It's just not in them. But they have to. It just...seems so unfair. For all of us." Xemnas nodded, and Lexaeus noted that their Superior had indeed aged as much as the rest of them had. None of them were perfect innocents, but he had the most weight on his shoulders.

"I know, Zexion. I don't like it either. I know the separation is cruel, but there isn't much I can do. I'm the leader," he murmured softly, so soft only Saix heard, "not god."

--

Xigbar stormed down the hallway, and if anyone had been around, they would have fled in terror from the look of pure fury on his face. It was overprotective fury--the kind that was, in Xigbar's hands, absolutely deadly--_especially _when it came to Demyx.

He stopped at the threshold of his room and wrenched the door open, trying to stop himself from trembling or keep his breath from catching in his throat as he burst into his room.

Xigbar found Demyx exactly where he knew he would--sobbing into the pillows on their bed. His little songbird was curled against his pillow, holding it close like it was Xigbar himself. He was crying so hard he was shaking, and his utter hopelessness and misery made Xigbar's soul ache. He crept over while space surrounded him, making him silent and invisible. He sighed and stroked Demyx's hair with care as he settled into his spot on the bed. He released the shield of space and whispered, "Demyx."

It was all the invitation that Demyx needed to wail his name and bury his face into his chest, bawling his eyes out. Xigbar stroked his hair, murmuring a song he'd heard Demyx play a few days ago. Demyx continued to cry as Xigbar whispered comforting murmurs into his ear.

"Demyx. Demyx, look at me." He whispered. The boy shook his head feverently. Xigbar sighed. "Hon, please." Demyx managed to raise his head and hold his gaze steady. Xigbar winced at the boy's sapphire eyes, shining with tears at he looked up at him. Xigbar pulled him down on the bed, kissing his forehead. "Kitten..." He started to make his excuses, but Demyx cut him off.

"No! No, Xigbar! I _know _we have hearts! I hate this stupid _mission_ and I hate stupid _Xemnas_, and I hate everyone in the _entire stupid world _except _you _right now!" He said, voice thick with tears as he pouted up at Xigbar. He had to laugh, kissing the top of Demyx's head.

"I know, babe. I don't blame you, you know. I...well, hearts? I don't know. But..." He smiled, finally letting whatever it was--remembrance or true feelings or _whatever_--take over. He kissed Demyx, feeling the younger man melt in his arms. "Amazing." He whispered. "God, Demyx, that was either the absolutely stupidest or the flat-out _bravest_ thing I have ever seen in my entire life." He said, shaking his head in amazement. Demyx managed a small giggle.

"You should talk, Xiggy. You do stupid stuff all the time--and lots of brave stuff, too." He said cheerfully.

Xigbar rolled his eye. "As if! Not as stupid as that, I'm afraid." Demyx giggled, and Xigbar smiled, satisfied. Then he closed his one good eye, pulling Demyx close and getting serious.

"Promise me, Demyx," he whispered, "please. Don't follow me. If you got hurt, I could never forgive myself either. Please, Demyx. I'm begging you." Demyx looked up at his one golden eye, and tilted his head.

"Xigbar..." He said softly, clutching the soft cloth of his shirt, "I can't promise that. I really can't. You're all I have." He said, desperately clinging to him and whimpering softly. Xigbar held him close.

"Demyx..." He whispered, his voice thick with pain and pleading. He shook his head. Xigbar could see tears glimmering on his eyelashes, and he stroked the tears away from his lover's almost painfully beautiful blue eyes, kissing him while Demyx shook in his arms.

"I...I promise not to...I..." He buried his face into Xigbar's chest again, tears starting to fall once more. "God, Xigbar, I can't...can't bear to think of you..." He sobbed. "Don't fade, please. Don't fade." He said, bordering on hysterical while he hugged him close. Xigbar nodded, wrapping his arms tightly around his little songbird.

"Promise." He whispered. Demyx could only nod, unable to say anything. Xigbar pulled him down on the bed and kissed him again. Demyx responded by winding his legs with Xigbar's, and the two clutched each other, staying entangled the entire night to protect each other from the darkness.

* * *

Zexion walked down the hallway, wincing as every step brought him closer to his door. Senayax was in there, and he was already waiting for the explosion. He sighed. She had a right, but...that didn't mean he was going to let her go. He shuddered, thinking of her so much as facing Sora and feeling the remembrance of fear shoot down his spine. He opened the door with only a moment's hesitation and walked in.

Senayax was already in bed, glaring at Zexion as he undressed. He sighed and yanked his pants on, knowing her eyes were boring holes into his back. He turned around to face her and smiled weakly. "Yaya, I know you want to protect us. But you don't understand..." He shook his head and sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"No. I promised I wouldn't lie to you." He said. She betrayed her surprise with a sharp intake of breath, staring up at him as he got into bed. He pulled her close, relishing the way she melted into his touch, utterly unresistant as he buried his face into her hair, inhaling her scent for a moment before situating her in his lap. "I'm being selfish." He whispered. "I don't want you to go because I need you here with me. I need to know you're safe." She nodded.

"I understand, Zexion." She said quietly. He shook his head.

_No. God help me, I really hope you don't. _He closed his eyes. He knew it was horribly wrong, utterly repugnant. He never wanted her to leave his side--or his bed. He just prayed she was too young to understand, and too pure to know he was nothing but filth.

He pulled her close and ignored the spark stirring in him as she cuddled closer, wrapping her legs around his waist and straddling him. She held herself steady on his shoulders as she kissed his lips again, and he let himself pretend it was a chaste tongue running over her lips, tasting her so her scent could stay with him, even when he was asleep. She smiled.

"I like goodnight kisses..." She said softly. "They make me real happy..." She fell asleep against his chest, and Zexion ran a hand down her back, stroking her over and over until the rhythm of his hand against her and her heavy breathing lulled him to sleep.

* * *

Xemnas sighed, walking down the hallway and opening his door. He knew Saix had already retired to bed, and he had been aching to join him ever since he'd left the kitchen. He crossed the room, quickly undressing before heading towards the bed.

Xemnas stared down at Saix's sleeping form. His little diviner, for one so filled with rage, slept so peacefully, especially on those nights where Kingdom Hearts shone brightest. He sighed and shook his head, trying to dismiss the thoughts that had been running through his head ever since he'd given the order. He understood Demyx's pain so completely, it was as if he had been voicing his own concerns at that table.

_Saix._

Xemnas sighed. His beautiful, beautiful pet. His unquestiongly loyal and devoted diviner, the only one who understood that heart-shaped moon like he did. It tore his nothingness in two that he was leaving him behind. His heart felt nothing, but his mind screamed at him to enjoy this night with his diviner. If the Keyblade wielder was there...it very well might be his last. He smiled thinly to himself. His end might come sooner, however, if he woke Saix up.

He sat down in bed, feeling it sink slightly under his weight. His diviner snuffled, turning on his side. "Master? I can hear you breathing." He murmured. Xemnas jumped in surprise, startled out of his thoughts. Saix stared at him in obvious amusement. Xemnas looked at his half-awake diviner, and leaned down to kiss him, forsaking good sense, thought, anything that was not connected to his diviner and his diviner's beautiful body.

Saix chuckled as Xemnas pulled away. "Xemnas, are you alright? Normally you wouldn't dare wake me." He teased. Xemnas pulled him close. Saix stiffened for a second, surprised by the sudden contact, before sinking comfortably into his master's arms and nuzzling his neck. Xemnas ran a hand through Saix's hair, the other keeping his pet firmly pressed against his body.

"No," he whispered, "I am not alright. I am, frankly, incredibly worried about tomorrow. I don't...want to lose you." He murmured, understanding its' truth and accepting it. Saix blinked in confusion.

"I'm...not going on that mission, Xemnas." He said, puzzled. Xemnas shook his head, trying to explain what he wanted to say. The intangible feelings tugged at him, trying to speak their piece, but he couldn't let them out. He would never let them take over him, because they didn't exist.

"If I go, I may lose you, fade into the darkness." He repeated. "I..." He trailed off. _Idiot, _he scolded himself, _you don't have feelings. _But as Saix looked at him, golden eyes shining dimly in the endless darkness, he believed otherwise.

"I cannot lose you. To me, you are worth more than myself." He said softly. Saix ducked his head in embarassment, suddenly feeling shyness overtake him. The diviner swore at that, rejecting shyness as a false emotion, mere weakness in front of his master. Xemnas laughed quietly.

"Ah, Saix. Feelings...mean nothing. But you...you are everything, are you not?" He said, kissing his forehead. Saix shivered with pleasure and shock as he quickly bit back another curse at his sudden shyness.

"Xemnas..." He whimpered, gazing at the amber-eyed man, who was now smiling down at him in both amusement and some other foreign notion Saix could not place. Xemnas pulled him down onto his chest and stroked his hair, running a hand down his back and purring in amusement as Saix arched his back into the touch with a soft mewl of pleasure.

"I can answer that for you, my pet." He whispered. "Yes. You are indeed..._everything_." Xemnas felt Saix shiver against his chest before he leaned up and kissed his lips with a gentle care, biting down slightly to bruise them and mark them as his.

"If I am your everything, then you are mine." He stated with utterly certainty. Xemnas nodded faintly, already drifting into sleep. He'd heard exactly what he needed to hear. Saix smiled, brushed his master's bangs back, and followed suit.

* * *

While the Superior was at rest, the rest of the castle was trying to find their own peace. The mission was one that was hanging over all their heads, even if they weren't going on it.

Most of the other members of the Organization had already found their way back to their beds, their lovers holding their arms out to them as a safe haven. The entire castle was still, completely at peace. Not even a breeze happened to whisper its' odd rush into anyone's ear.

Not that it mattered to the only man walking through the hallways at the moment.

Marluxia sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, feeling petals settle into the palm of his hand. He wasn't particularly nervous about the mission tomorrow. No, what worried him more right now was if Vexen coming to his bed had been a one-time occurence.

He headed towards his door, and his hand stuttered as he reached for the knob. He steeled himself and finally opened the door, walking into his room and immediately glancing towards his bed.

Marluxia was not disappointed. Vexen was leaning against the pillows shirtless, (perhaps more, if Marluxia was lucky), and curled under the blanket like he'd always shared a bed with him. Marluxia's soul soared, but he managed not to squeal with glee, and instead purred with delight. "Hey, cutie." He was teasing him on purpose, knowing full well it would drive him mad. Vexen turned a page in his novel, sniffing delicately with amused disgust.

Marluxia pouted. All right, if that's how his little ice queen wanted to play...

Marluxia undressed with care, awaiting a reaction as he pulled the zipper on his coat down, letting a soft moan bubble in his throat. Vexen's knuckles tightened as he clenched his novel, but he still didn't say a word. Marluxia rolled his eyes. "_Goddammit, Vexen." _He muttered to himself. Suddenly, he got an idea. Marluxia quickly rid himself of his last bit of clothing, before getting on the bed, banking on Vexen trying so hard _not _to notice him that he could get close enough to--

"M-Marluxia!" Vexen gasped. The assassin grinned, letting himself rise up off the bed while he was still straddling Vexen and thus pinning him to his bed.

"Looks like only one thing's changed." Marluxia teased. "This time, you're the one with all your clothes on." Vexen glared at him.

"_Honestly_? Marluxia! For god's sake, you're...you're..." He trailed off, eyes wide as his breath began to hitch in his throat. Marluxia grinned at Vexen, who was becoming further flustered. "You're....well..."

"Impressive?" The other finished. Vexen growled at him, trying to squirm free. The blush on his face told Marluxia everything he needed to know. Marluxia leaned down and kissed him gently, smiling into the kiss with clear amusement.

He was only mildly surprised when Vexen kissed back. He was incredibly surprised, however, when Vexen rose up and grasped his hips, pulling him onto his lap and bringing them face-to-face.

"If you die tomorrow," he hissed, punctuating his words with a possessive, lip-bruising kiss, "I swear to whatever god exists that I will go straight down into the darkness, drag you out, and then beat the hell out of you for getting yourself killed." Marluxia stared at him in amazement. For once, he was without a snarky comeback or enigmatic comment.

"V-Vexen..." He whispered. Vexen kissed him again, even fiercer this time as he buried his hands into Marluxia's hair. Marluxia gave in to his lack of eloquence and simply moaned, trembling in his arms as he reached out to pull Vexen closer.

Vexen pulled away, his dark green eyes staring directly into Marluxia's own. Marluxia shivered under his lover's gaze. "I...I won't die." He told him, managing a small arrogant smile. Vexen huffed as he laid down and pulled Marluxia down onto the bed with him to hold his lover close against his chest.

"Good answer." He stated, kissing Marluxia again. He laughed as he nuzzled Vexen's neck, nipping it gently and teasing the skin under his lips with a gentle tongue.

"Admit it, I taught you everything you know about kissing." He teased. Vexen shot him a halfhearted glare before pulling him close, and running a hand down his chest. Marluxia hissed with sudden shock and pleasure. Vexen kissed him for a brief, achingly short moment, reaching down just _enough_ before pulling away.

"Certainly, if you admit I'm the reason it'll take you a _very_ long time to get to sleep now." He purred, grinning wickedly at Marluxia before getting under the covers. Marluxia glared at him.

"Oh, like _hell_ you're going to sleep! Vexen! _VEXEN!_ Wake the _HELL_ up!" He shrieked. The scientist was buried in the blankets, trying to muffle his giggles. _Xemnas may have been right_, he mused. _Schadenfreude is _fun.

* * *

One last Nobody wandered the halls this night. She had no lover to welcome her into a safe haven. She sighed. She didn't even have a safe haven. Larxene ran a hand through her hair, twirling one of her strands around her finger.

"Like I even need a safe haven." She muttered. She tossed one of her knives in the air, smirking in amusement as it fell perfectly between her fingers. She let it vanish into the darkness and kept walking.

Her interest peaked as she saw the open lab door. She grinned. Now was as good a time as any to give Vexen the obligatory "If you break his heart, I'll eat yours" speech. She descended the steps, before realizing something had brushed her foot. She looked down and saw a tiny puzzle piece sitting on the stone steps. She raised an eyebrow, but picked it up anyway, figuring it was worth asking Vexen about it _before _she turned him into a quivering mass of fear.

Unbeknownst to her, Lexaeus was down in the lab, taking apart a puzzle, rearranging it, and putting it back together. It helped him focus before a mission, and he was enjoying himself. He had done this puzzle an endless amount of times, but it was fine with him. He felt a simple contentment at putting the well-worn pieces back together. Since it was so familiar, it only took him ten minutes to complete it. He sighed in annoyance as he surveyed it. _Or, it would have, _he mused, _if I could find that last piece. _

"Hey." As a new voice resounded through the room, Lexaeus looked up, only to see Larxene standing at the door. "Your puzzle." She murmured. He nodded, slightly wary and more than slightly confused. She snorted in amusement at his reaction. "Don't worry about it. I'm not here to stab you. Look, it fell on the steps." She produced a small cardboard puzzle piece out of her long robe sleeves. As he watched, she walked over to the table, leaning over him and pressing it into place. He looked up at the tiny blonde.

"Thank you." He said softly. She shrugged, looking away to hide a soft smile. Lexaeus's lips twitched in amusement as he watched her.

He'd observed Larxene, same as he had done for the others. She had always seemed, to him at least, like a silver-tongued, stubborn, feral woman. Only a strong person could survive the Heartless--in her own way, Larxene was as strong as them, even if she handled her losses differently.

"You've been hurt before, haven't you?" The words, normally so rare, slipped from his lips without notice. Lexaeus's eyes widened, as did Larxene's. He didn't know what had possessed him to say that, and his mind immediately whirled about how to apologize. Larxene observed him, her hands stuttering against the table before gripping its' edge firmly. He bowed his head. "I...I'm sorry. It was...uncalled for...I just, I..." She put a finger to his lips.

"Listen, lummox. I was, yeah. But I'm over it. Now," she said calmly, "do you see that puzzle? I found your missing piece, o-wise-one. What does _that _tell you?" She asked, pressing a single finger against his chest. Lexaeus raised an eyebrow at her. She snorted derisively, and Lexaeus laughed.

"I don't think you're quite over it, Larxene." He said smoothly. "After all, you're still insulting me." She poked her tongue out at him.

"Bite me. Anyways, don't stay up too late, lummox. I'll be waiting on you for our mission in the morning." She smiled, tossing her head back in amusement as she turned away. Lexaeus merely nodded and smiled in amusement as she grinned back, blowing him a kiss before disappearing. The hero chuckled, shaking his head. She might be all he had observed, that was certain...but as he looked down at that last puzzle piece--the piece that connected the entire picture--he figured he might have to look past that surface.


	18. Teacher

(Christopher Lee is in this chapter. Therefore this is the best chapter ever. Because Christopher Lee is the best ever. /Yes I mean Ansem but he sounds like Christopher Lee and looks like a younger version of him and I love him so much./

Also Namine. Finally, the Organization aren't the only KH characters who are making a big appearance! The whole cast shows up, I promise. Because while I love the Organization, they're not the only characters I love in the series~!

This chapter switches points of view quite a bit. I'm sorry about that, but it's a lot of different people converging on one point. Also I ship Ansem/Namine so hard. Why the hell are like all of my hetero shippings pedophilia? I figure it's because there's a lot of older-ish men, (ex: Auron, Ansem, etc), versus a ton of younger girls, (ex: Rikku, Yuna, Kairi, Namine, etc), and it's like MOTHERFUCKER because there's not a lot of the reverse, (except for the designated heroes.)

So yeah I just rambled about something that has little relevance to the story. Just know that I'm totally shipping them in my head and will totally drop hints and all that, but I will be called a pedophile if I go any farther so YEAH. xDx

Unless you guys want it. Please say you want it. xD

Okay now that I'm done, for reals, OH LOOK DRAMA. God, I know it's the mark of a good story but it's like a roller coaster. If that's a good thing. I don't know.

OH GOD LARX/LEX CAN YOU TELL I'M OBSESSED? I mean seriously, it's my only het OTP. And I love the tidbit in here. So yeah.

Anyways, I have like half of the Avenue Q soundtrack on infinite loop so yeah. And, that's kind of it.

Ohright--later update then I expected, sorry! Might happen a few more times--need more to write now that a few other ideas have struck me. But the drabbles are coming along okay~ So soon!

This chapter is dedicated to the newest member of my HG Pokemon team--Seel~ She needs a name, so if you have suggestions, offer 'em up, yo!

I don't own Kingdom Hearts, I own a copy of HeartGold and SoulSilver and I won't shut up about either of them.)

* * *

Namine padded through the dim hallway, her bare feet making no sound on the stone floor. She clutched her sketchpad to her chest, shivering at the cold air. She could hear Ansem muttering darkly in the other room, but she couldn't go in. Not yet.

She saw all of what he had seen. He had a connection to Sora, however faint...and she could look within him. She could see his past. The one he wanted to forget.

Ansem had taken her in after Maleficent and the Heartless had fallen. She and Kairi had parted--Kairi had a Keyblade, while she did not. She had her own powers, which Ansem surmised could be of some use. But...even though he had given her a home, Namine had initially feared him.

He was so full of hatred, a vicious sort of angry fire that had warped and corrupted him. When she'd tried to draw it at first, it had terrified her to the point where she'd torn it out of her sketchbook and flung it at the wall. When she'd worked up the courage to observe his emotions and memories again, however, she had apparently gotten through the fire and to the other side.

She could see children. Some were older, almost adults--one looked barely old enough to walk. She didn't know who they were, but she drew them anyway. The images kept arriving as she stayed with Ansem, and she continued to draw each and every one that came along. Sometimes she felt like she got a glimpse of a name--other times it was as if she was trying to catch smoke.

But something inside her told her that the time wasn't right to remind him of his past. So Namine kept drawing, and with this last one...the one she knew she had to show Ansem...she had finally been given names.

She paused at the door, and gathered all her strength before knocking on it. There was a pause, and Namine waited with bated breath. Then she heard him rumble, "Come in."

She opened the door and approached Ansem, holding her sketchbook out to him. "I have some things...I drew. They're for you." She murmured. Ansem took her sketchbook and opened it up to the first page. His eyes widened and he bit back a gasp.

His boys. The pictures...all of them were centered around his Apprentices. He clutched the sketchpad like a lifeline, his hands shaking as the memories burst out of his mind and filled his heart.

His boys, his precious sons. His first Apprentice, Even...his wonderful, prideful, dedicated Even...

_Teacher?_

Braig...his bold, ruthless, devoted Braig...

_Teacher?_

Aeleus...his quiet, attentive, steadfast Aeleus...

_Teacher?_

Dilan...his brave, eloquent, sophisticated Dilan...

_Teacher?_

Xehanort...his brilliant, curious, impudent Xehanort...

_Teacher?_

Ienzo...His tiny, fragile, precocious Ienzo...

_Teacher?_

His hands trembled as he flipped through the pages, hearing their voices in his head, filling him with memories and pride and agony and joy and sorrow and hatred and love. As he found the last page, he almost dropped the pad.

It was Radiant Garden, before it had fallen. He and his sons stood proud, watching a sunset that only those in the picture seemed to see. All the emotions settled, and it took him a moment to realize that once they had all settled in that the last one, the one that remained the strongest, was....love.

Their voices rose up in unison within him, with the one word they had all shared blossoming in his mind.

_Teacher?_

Ansem buried his head in his hands and wept.

Namine watched for a moment. She took her sketchpad back, kissed the top of his head, and left the room quietly, closing the door so he could cry in peace.

* * *

Leon awoke the next morning to Cloud at his door. "Hey, Squall." He murmured. Leon sat up, and shook out his hair. Cloud was the only one who insisted on calling him by his name. If it had been anyone else, Leon might not have allowed it, but he understood why Cloud wanted to keep using Squall in place of Leon. He yawned as he pushed himself off of the bed.

"Morning, Cloud." He murmured, before yawning again. Cloud's lips twitched in amusement.

"Need some more sleep, Squall?" He purred. Leon glared at him.

"I will not take that from someone who stays up until two in the morning. Anyways, it doesn't matter if I need the sleep or not--Sora came back last night. Come on, I need to talk to him about something." He muttered, heading downstairs. Cloud admired his bare back appreciatively before sighing, getting back on the subject.

"Did you call him back because of her?" Cloud asked, as the two walked down the hallway. Leon paused, and put a hand against the door, sighing heavily as he turned back to Cloud.

"Yes." Leon said. "Because he went to find her...that night." He sighed. "When Sora came back, we went...to that village. You remember?" He murmured. Cloud visibly shuddered.

"God, yes. I don't think I'm ever going to forget." He muttered. Leon nodded.

"That...that was her. That was whatever lives inside her. That whole town was either burned, eaten, or destroyed beyond repair. It's like...I got the feeling nothing would ever grow there again." Leon shuddered. "I never want to feel that again. I don't know how Sora handled it." Cloud sighed, and shrugged.

"He's the wielder of the Keyblade. He's got to be strong." Cloud said. Leon sighed.

"I guess so. But it doesn't matter. Come on, let's go downstairs." He said, and Cloud nodded his assent gratefully. The two headed downstairs and into the kitchen, where everyone else had already managed to find their way to. Sora looked up, and smiled.

"Hi, Leon! You called me back here yesterday. What was wrong?" Sora asked. Leon looked away for a moment, exhaling heavily before replying.

"Senayax. That Nobody girl. I saw her a few days ago. She's okay, Sora." Leon said, managing a small smile at that. Sora was dumbfounded as he looked up at Leon, stunned by what he'd just heard.

"She's...okay?" The Keyblade wielder ventured. Leon managed a small smile.

"More than okay. That kid had the most obnoxiously bright yellow dress on. She told me to tell you that she was happy there." He said. Sora frowned, and Leon sighed, unsure of how to explain what he felt. "Sora, she cares about all of them deeply. Like you do for Riku and Kairi." Sora shook his head.

"No! Not like Riku and Kairi! They can't feel!" He snapped. Leon shrugged, unwilling to argue.

"I know, I know. But Sora, listen. The King contacted me--he's in Hollow Bastion. Sephiroth showed up, and he needs our help." He said. Sora nodded, summoning his Keyblade.

"Right! Donald, Goofy! Let's go!" He yelled. Leon made to leave the house, but he felt a hand tug on his belt and yank him back.

"Not without us you're not." Tifa said firmly, ending the argument, (at least in her mind--and Leon was_ not _going to disagree...) Aerith, Yuffie, and Cloud stood right behind her. Leon sighed heavily.

"Fine. Fine, whatever. Let's just go." He grumbled. The girls exchanged a quick look between them before shoving Cloud forward into Leon's arms and darting off. Sora sighed as the group disappeared, heading right for the castle at Hollow Bastion.

* * *

Within the World that Never Was, the other half of those that would be going to Hollow Bastion were starting to make their way there. However, before they could, they needed to say their goodbyes.

Marluxia awoke slowly, turning in his bed to see Vexen next to him. Marluxia smiled. His little ice queen slept so peacefully. Vexen normally looked either worried, frustrated, or annoyed. But as he slept, his face was smooth and untroubled, and his breath was sweet and even. Marluxia grinned. "Hope you're dreaming of me, Vexen." He murmured. There was a quiet peace about the room for a moment.

Then Vexen shifted slightly in their bed, settling in on Marluxia's side. "...Always am..." He murmured sleepily, probably still half-asleep.

Marluxia stared at him for a moment. Then he turned and left the room, tears dripping down his cheeks and a smile growing on his face.

* * *

Xigbar held Demyx for a long time. He'd woken up hours ago, simply to watch over Demyx. Xigbar laughed quietly. Demyx had called him an angel once, after he'd seen him walk on air for the first time. Watching him now, Xigbar had finally understood what Demyx meant. "Don't worry, Dem," he whispered to his little songbird, "I'm your angel, and angels don't die."

He turned back to leave and was suddenly confronted with Peggy. Xigbar swallowed. "H-hey, Peggy."

The sitar continued to sit at the foot of the bed. Xigbar began to back out the door. "Peggy, I swear I'm gonna come back." He reached out to stroke Demyx's hair as Peggy's strings gave an angry twang. He jerked his hand back like he'd been burned. "Oh come on, I'm not allowed to touch him?!" Xigbar snapped. Peggy paused.

Then her strings rippled slightly, producing a beautiful humming note. Xigbar grinned, kissing the top of Demyx's head. "I love you, my precious little songbird." He murmured. "I'll be back soon."

Xigbar disappeared into space with a small smile, knowing Demyx was safe. After all, he was an angel. He knew these sort of things.

* * *

Larxene headed down the steps of the lab, feet bare on the stone floor. Their soles made no sound as she padded across the floor and stopped in front of the table. She huffed in annoyance. "Fell asleep down here, Lexaeus?" She purred. The giant mass that was the sleeping hero himself shifted. He opened one bleary eye to watch her as she smiled. "Fool." She muttered, pushing her hand against the side of his head gently. "You had me worried."

Lexaeus simply nodded, standing and stretching as he tried to shake himself out of a stupor. "Larxene." He murmured. "I didn't think you would come back down here." He had to admit it was true. This little nymph...she wasn't making herself easy to understand. She grinned suddenly, and Lexaeus realized she probably liked it that way.

"Neither did I." Larxene replied, setting a few of her knives down on the table as she sat up on it. "But you weren't ready to go, and I thought, 'Hey, why not go see if Lexaeus is okay?' I mean, you are coming on the mission with me." She said. Lexaeus suddenly remembered that she was indeed coming with him. Something in him seemed to spark and come alive, and he felt his body pulling him into a kneel.

"Larxene, I swear upon my honor as an Apprentice to Ansem the Wise and a member of his guard, I will protect you until I can no longer stand the blows of your enemies." Lexaeus said, memories rushing back to him all at once--Radiant Garden, Braig--Even? Even, Ienzo?--home, Xeh, Dilan--_teacher?_--But it felt _right. _He needed to say those words again, and he needed to say them to her.

Larxene watched him with wide eyes for a moment. Her hands began to shake again, little wisps of lightning darting neatly across her fingertips. Lexaeus simply summoned Skysplitter, feeling it settle into his hands. He looked up at her and presented Skysplitter. "The Keyblade wielder will stand to fight. And thus, so will I." He murmured, his voice a quiet rumble. "And I will be fighting for your safety."

Larxene reached out a hand, pressing it flat against the side of the blade. Then she looked down at him. "Lexaeus, that's not necessary. I can take care of myself. How do you think I survived if I couldn't?" She muttered. Lexaeus nodded.

"I am aware it is not necessary. However, just because it is not necessary does not mean that I cannot do it." He looked up at her, and their eyes met clearly for the first time since she'd arrived. "Because I made this promise to a man I believed worth it. I will make this promise again to a woman whom I believe is worth it." He said quietly. Larxene's eyes never left his own.

"Then you better hurry up, Lexaeus, Xemnas is gonna be pissed if we have to wait any longer." She said. Lexaeus smirked.

"I wasn't expecting any other sort of response, Larxene." He purred. "And you knew it, didn't you?" He watched with amusement as she paused in her tracks. Then she turned to him, and her eyes were so sweet and so brilliantly alive that Lexaeus realized that she'd turned the tables on his observations once again.

"Thank you, Lexaeus." She murmured. "I'll do my best for you too."

They wouldn't admit it, but both of them were smiling as they went to see Xemnas.

* * *

Xemnas had woken to Saix's serene face. He knew he wasn't guaranteed to come back. He had told Saix everything he could give him. But...something was missing. He wasn't sure what it was, and yet...

He stood, dressing quickly before turning back to the sleeping form of his beautiful Saix. Xemnas realized he knew what was missing. As his chest throbbed with the feeling of a forgotten and discarded heart, he knew what he needed to say.

_I love you, Saix. _

He tried to speak, but the words lodged themselves in his chest, refusing to leave. He tried desperately to say them, tried so hard to scream the words he needed to shout towards all the worlds, but his heart was no longer there to give him the courage he needed to say it.

Xemnas knelt beside the bed and kissed Saix gently, feeling tears pouring down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Saix." He murmured. "I'll come home safe." Xemnas left the room, trying to hide his tears.

He would come home safe. He would come home safe after every mission, and he would do so every time until he could say "I love you" to his Saix, and mean it.

* * *

Senayax woke up, knowing that it was time to leave. She crept out of bed as quietly as she could, sliding off and landing on the carpet. She put her coat on. She didn't zip it up so as not to make any noise, and left her boots off for the same reason. She turned back to the bed and saw Zexion still asleep, clutching the pillow and breathing peacefully. She sighed and crept closer to him. She knew he didn't want her to go. But she had to protect her family, forever and always.

She kissed his forehead and smiled. "Don't worry, Zexion. I'm coming back." She whispered. As she said that, she knew she believed it with all her heart. She was smiling as she left the room, utterly unafraid of what lay ahead.

Demyx was waiting for her in the hallway. "They're gone." He said softly. She nodded.

"Then we better hurry, right?" She said, fitting her rings on her fingers. He grinned.

"Yup! Come on, Yaya." He said. She nodded, and took his hand in hers.

"Don't be scared, Demyx." She said quietly, knowing that the bubbly boy was more nervous than he was letting on. "We'll be all right." The two looked at each other and squeezed the others' hand for comfort as they disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

Zexion woke up, and immediately realized she wasn't there. He sat up in bed and rushed out into the hallway. "Senayax!?" He called, but his voice only resounded back to him. He swore as he buried his hands in his hair.

_Protect my family... _Her voice came back to him, and he screamed.

"NO!" He yelled to the empty hallway. "YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH! STOP SUFFERING FOR US!" He couldn't stop the images from rushing through his head; what had happened the last time she'd protected them, the last time she'd sacrificed herself for them, their lie being exposed, everything was taunting him viciously and refusing to leave him alone. He wailed, and shook his head.

Axel and Saix were both in the kitchen, he could smell it. He needed to find them. Saix would have stopped her, she wouldn't have gone,_ someone would've said something_. He rushed down the steps and banged on the door. A very surprised pyromaniac opened the door with a piece of toast in his mouth.

"Oi, mornin' to ya too, sunshine." He mumbled. Zexion glared at him.

"Not now._ Not now_. Has anyone seen Yaya?" He asked. Axel shook his head as Zexion stormed into the kitchen, surveying it for any scent of her, any sign of her presence.

"No, she was with you." Saix said. "Is something wrong?" Zexion shook his head, and swore quietly at the empty hall and kitchen. Luxord and Xaldin had both appeared in the door, and Luxord looked grim.

"Oi, luvlies," he said, "Demyx is gone." Zexion looked at the others, and then remembered his empty bed--Senayax and Demyx...together...

"VEXEN!" He howled. The scientist clambered down the steps, glaring at Zexion while he yanked his coat on.

"What? What in the name of god is going on in this place _now?" _He hissed. Zexion growled quietly.

"I have an incredibly bad feeling that our little monster girl and our dear nocturne have both followed the others to Hollow Bastion." He said, gritting his teeth. The remaining members of the Organization looked at each other, and groaned.

"It never fails," Axel grumbled, going to wake Roxas, "the one day I get off without the Superior in the castle is the day all hell breaks loose."


	19. What We Are

(Sephiroth isn't even my bishie. Seriously, I mean, yes, his hair is so soft and I swear to god I want to pet his hair, but wev. This is...a weird chapter--no clear way to describe it. I hope you like it anyways~

Next chapter, as a bit of a disclaimer, may be a bit late. There's a whole new piece I want to write. However, Roxas' feelings about Sora will finally be covered, along with fluff and stuff. xD ALSO: Namine/Ansem. Seriously, love. Anyhoodle.

This chapter is dedicated to the sunshine, because it's soooo nice out. ^^

Don't own Kingdom Hearts, but actually, for one of my friends who has never played KH, this /IS/ canon. xD)

* * *

Sora and his group had arrived in Hollow Bastion and immediately darted towards the ruins of the castle. Leon and Cloud split from the group to combat the Heartless, and Sora, Goofy, and Donald had all headed to perhaps find the King.

The land around the castle was vast. They were tripping over their own paths more often than not, trying desperately to find the fellow Keyblade wielder. However, all they encountered were Heartless, which were dispatched easily with the swipe of a Keyblade.

Finally feeling the fatigue, Sora stood and watched the Heartless swarm. He closed his eyes and fought down a shudder. He needed Riku and Kairi by his side. They were supposed to be with him. That was how these sort of stories were supposed to go. But they were locked away in the darkness, trapped in their own battle. And he was without his two best friends for the first time in his life. Both his friends' faces flashed within his mind, and he bit back a small sob at the memories. He missed them both...he loved them so much. With all his heart.

"I feel th' same 'bout my friends, you know." A small voice whispered. Sora jumped halfway out of his skin, before turning around to see two cloaked figures. He tensed with his Keyblade in his hands, preparing for a fight--before the smaller one laughed as she pulled her hood down. Sora stared at her in shock.

Senayax had shifted again since she had learned of the beast and her life before. She'd become more mature-looking--she was still petite and childlike, but now her eyes had a glint of cunning and sardonic amusement that had replaced some of the innocence. Sora wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. He shuddered. "Yaya?" He murmured. She snorted.

"T'one and only. Now shush, Sora, we're here for stealth." She put a finger to her lips and smiled. Sora raised an eyebrow. She simply smiled at him, clearly amused. The other black-coated man groaned.

"Aww, Yaya! You didn't say this would be stealth!" He whined, crossing his arms over his chest. Senayax glared at him, standing on tiptoe to smack him upside the head.

"Demmy! Stupid, d'ya want Xigbar an' Xemnas t'find us! I don't, I can tell you that!" She huffed, putting her hands on her hips and rolling her eyes at him. Demyx shuddered, twirling a strand of dirty-blonde hair around his finger nervously.

"Oh yeah, unless they're in trouble, _we're _gonna be in trouble." He shivered, thinking about how much Xigbar would freak out. Senayax smiled at Sora.

"This is Demyx. He came to protect his lover." She pointed to the other Organization member, (Demyx, apparently), who Sora didn't recognize. The blonde teen smiled shyly.

"He's...well, I dunno if--" He mumbled, voice trailing away. Senayax glared at him.

"They be lovers. He's just bein' stupid." She said flatly, ignoring the other's indignant squawk of protest. "Anyways, we're here t'protect the others, 'cause they're stupid sometimes and don't know when they need protection." Sora would've intitially scoffed at the idea of a little girl protecting someone like the Organization, but then he remembered the monster inside her and said nothing. Donald glared at Demyx.

"People like you don't HAVE hearts! You're not even people!" He squawked, and Sora had to agree. Donald was right. They were Nobodies--mere shells of humans. Demyx turned to Donald, his face suddenly sad.

"Am too." He said softly. "I'm here to protect Xigbar. Cause he really does mean everything in the world to me." He nodded, and brightened. "Yeah! Xigbar _does _mean everything to me, and I am GOING to protect him! So you shut up!" He snapped. Sora watched in amazement.

"But you're Nobodies..." He trailed off. Senayax shrugged.

"So? I mean...well, it doesn't matter. Not to me and Demyx, anyway. An' I think Marluxia finally wore Vexen down, and..." She trailed off. "Well, we'll be human again soon!" She smiled. Sora just shook his head. It wasn't really important right now.

"Hello, boys!" A voice resounded through the clearing and everyone jumped. Once the trio saw who it was, their eyes widened.

"Your Majesty!" Donald squawked, as both he and Goofy bowed. Sora bowed as well--Senayax bowed once she saw them, pulling Demyx down with her, the latter squawking in protest. King Mickey smiled.

"Oh, Sora! You're looking for Riku and Kairi, aren't you?" His eyes were filled with concern and understanding as Sora nodded.

"Yeah...Kairi went with Riku right into the Darkness to help the two of you. She...she wouldn't stay on the island." He mumbled. In fact, when he'd suggested it--for her own safety, of course--she'd smacked him. He winced at the memory as King Mickey laughed.

"You can't be surprised, can you? After all, she's a Princess of Heart. She's just as brave and strong as you, in her own way. She wants to protect these worlds as well." He nodded. "I can assure you they're both safe. I'm here because DiZ--" He blinked, stopping in his sentence as he finally noticed Senayax and Demyx.

"You're...Organization XIII." He stated, shocked. Ansem had told him his Apprentices might be here, but these two weren't them. So what w_ere _they doing here...and why were they bowing to him? Senayax bowed again as he watched her.

"Yessir! Yessir, your, uh, Majesty, sir. I, uh...darnit, I don't know what to do in th' presence of royalty. Demmy!" She hissed, making the other jump, "D'ya know or what?" The other shook his head.

"Uh-uh. Um, I'm Demyx, your Majesty, and...I'm here to protect Xigbar." He muttered the last part quietly. King Mickey raised an eyebrow. _That_ name, he recognized. Braig had certainly been...

Ansem had used the words '_boisterous_' and _'handful_.' The King might've used the word _'insane_.'

"Xigbar?" He asked, obviously amused by the turn of events. Demyx blushed as he mumbled something under his breath. Senayax looked amused, smiling before she cupped her hands around her mouth.

"WHAT WAS THAT, DEMYX!? I DON'T THINK THE KING HEARD YOU!" She shrieked, trying not to giggle. Demyx glared at her while everyone else smiled in amusement.

"MY LOVER!" He shouted, his singer's lungs ending up carrying his voice down to the swarms of Heartless. He watched a storm of arrowhead bullets hit some Novashadow Heartless, and he winced. "Crap. I bet he heard." He muttered. The king looked confused.

"Wait, aren't you here on a mission?" He said, trying to sort this development out in his head. Senayax and Demyx giggled nervously, sharing a glance between themselves.

"F-funny you should mention that, your Majesty..." Demyx said, before Senayax sighed, holding a hand up for him to stay silent.

"They came. We didn't. I'm here t'protect 'em all, and Demyx's here for Xigbar." She hung her head and groaned. King Mickey observed both of them before he began to laugh.

"Well, gosh." He said. "You two sure are dedicated, aren't you? You're _sure _you're Nobodies?" He asked. Senayax and Demyx both huffed.

"Yeah. But that doesn't matter to us!" Demyx said. The both of them brightened immediately, nodding enthusiastically. Sora watched this in amazement, before turning to King Mickey and beckoning him closer to whisper to him.

"Your Majesty? Do you...do you think that's true?" He murmured. Mickey shrugged.

"I'm honestly not sure." He whispered to Sora. He turned to the two Nobodies. "You'd best be careful, I suppose you'll get in trouble if they catch you!" He managed to laugh. Senayax and Demyx blushed, and looked away.

A warm, booming voice interrupted them. "That they will." The man who had spoken chuckled, appearing behind King Mickey. "Especially Braig, if you are here for him. He's very overprotective and possessive--but I bet you know that as well as I." Senayax stared up at the man, clad in red leather and buckles. He radiated some odd form of peace as he surveyed the landscape, and she couldn't help but feel slightly awed by him.

"Who are you?" She said, as the leather-coated man laughed.

"That's not for you to know, little one." He smiled at her, and she smiled back...then with an odd crack, her face contorted.

"_Like fuck it isn't, 'DiZ'." _The beast spoke. Both Sora and Demyx froze, recognizing that voice immediately. The needle-teeth jammed into her tiny mouth as she began that horrible transformation yet again. It was mercifully quick this time--the beast was in a hurry to talk. Ansem laughed.

"Ah! Hollowmoon! I know you well, old one. What are you doing in the body of such a sweet little girl like this one must have been?" He appeared unfazed, but Demyx and Sora had both seen a flash of panic and terror in his eyes. King Mickey looked up at him.

"You know this thing?" He said with obvious disgust and contempt. Ansem chuckled.

"Yes, I do, your Majesty. He was an...aquaintance...of both myself and my Apprentices." He shook his head, and bit back a sigh. The beast narrowed his eyes.

"_Well, whatever you want, fuck off. I'm enjoying my time here--did you know this little girl's already being lusted after?" _Its' voice dropped to a croon. "_Poor ickle thing. She'll get someone's cock shoved between those silky little thighs soon enough, won't she? Wonder if her tight little pussy can take it--" _

Demyx finally lost it.

"SHUT_ UP_!" He roared, slamming Arpeggio down on its' head. The beast growled, and Sora gasped softly. Both DiZ and Mickey watched in complete shock. No one had expected the sudden burst of rage from the innocent-looking blonde.

"_FUCK YOU_!" He screamed. "JUST_ FUCK YOU_! DON'T YOU _EVER _SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT ABOUT OUR YAYA! NOT_ EVER_!" He bellowed, shuddering with rage and hatred. Ansem's eyes widened.

"My goodness Hollowmoon, what foul language. Perhaps you should curb yourself before this boy becomes further agitated." He said, bordering on agitated himself. Demyx didn't appear to be able to _get _further agitated--he was snarling incoherently at the beast, who now lay hunched against the ground, rubbing its' head and muttering in pain.

"_Fuck, you little shit! That goddamn hurt!" _It hissed, glaring balefully at Demyx before turning and leering at Ansem. "_Anyways, _Ansem_--what the hell are you doing here? What does this little battle mean for you?" _He glowered at him.

"Simple. I caught word a few of my Apprentices would be here. I also came to see if the rumors were true from Sora and Leon--that a little girl was involved with the Organization." He stared down at the beast, who merely giggled.

"_Didn't expect me, did you? Bet not! Don't worry too much about that, she's not going to remember this little conversation." _He said rolled his eyes.

"How very kind of you." He muttered darkly. The beast giggled again.

"_Aren't I a saint?" _He rolled his rose colored eyes up at the scientist as he shook his head.

"Now, Hollowmoon. How did you happen across this girl?" He met Hollowmoon's inhuman eyes, managing to hold the beast's gaze. For a moment, the beast got serious.

"_She was hollow. So I filled her. She's the moon now." _It laughed again. "_But I don't think that's of any importance!" _It teased them, before the darkness that was the beast sucked itself back into the little girl. Her eyelids fluttered and she knelt down with her clothing in tatters around her.

"Darn it," she grumbled softly, before her throat convulsed and she began to spit up blood, "I liked that coat, too." Sora watched in horror as she finished spitting it all out. Demyx smiled weakly as he knelt next to her, pulling her into his lap and shielding her most private areas from the others.

"It's okay, Yaya." He whispered. "I got your stupid obnoxiously-bright yellow dress." She giggled.

"You heard Xemnas complaining about it too?" She managed to murmur, blood still dribbling from her mouth. Demyx laughed.

"I think everyone in the castle did." He said, as he pulled the bundle of fabric out of his coat, and handed it to her. The hat and sash were brought through the darkness--Demyx had forgotten shoes, but it didn't bother her. She smiled at everyone, before she caught the King's expression. She sighed.

"He came, dinnit he." She whispered. "T'Bookeyman. I know he be a he, even though I know he calls hisself it. He thinks it makes him real scarylike." She shook her head. "En't fair. Wish I could just kick'm out." Sora nodded, shaking himself out of shock.

"You'll find a way! I know it!" He said, sounding more confident than he felt. She smiled at him, and he felt a twinge of guilt for saying all that about Nobodies--even if he was almost certain...almost, that it was true. Ansem sighed.

"It's all right. Now," he stated, "will you be taking care of these Heartless?"

A small throwing star thudded into the head of a Neoshadow. "Nah," a voice called, "we will!" Sora looked up.

"Cloud! Leon! Aerith! Tifa! Yuffie!" He shouted, surprised and overjoyed. Tifa rolled her eyes.

"Sora! Donald! Goofy!" She teased, smirking down at them. The three blushed and grumbled irritably. Senayax waved at Leon, who snorted.

"Nice outfit." He managed to remark, hiding his surprise at seeing her. She grinned up at him as she twisted the rings around her fingers. They all watched the little 'gems' swell up, before she flicked them all with grace and ease, watching as the blood latched onto the Heartless, seeming to suck all of its' darkness into itself before puddling onto the floor. She sighed as she twisted them back into a non-finger-lancing position.

"That makes my knuckles pop all funny." She grumbled. Apparently not noticing everyone else's shock, she looked down. "There's a big man with a silly outfit down there. He's got a pretty blue wing." She said matter-of-fact. Everyone else gasped. Senayax sighed. "I bet he's not a good person, is he?"

Then he pointed Masamune at Xemnas--and all her queries went right out the window.

"OI!" She howled. "DON'T YOU FUCKEN' TOUCH HIM!" She shrieked. She'd already darted down the rocks, screaming at the top of her lungs as Demyx gasped in shock.

"YAYA!" He yelled, rushing down the rocky steppe after her, "GET BACK HERE! DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!" The others watched in shock, unsure how to react. Then Tifa folded her arms over her chest and sighed.

"Too late, it looks like." She watched the Heartless surround her with distaste. "Shall we beat the hell out of the ones up here?" Cloud and Leon both nodded. Tifa looked pointedly at Cloud. "Also, I know you're itching to go after Sephiroth--but please, just wait until we've beaten up these little monsters." The blonde nodded, but as he struck each and every one of them down, he kept one eye on Sephiroth.

* * *

Xemnas watched the tip of Masamune, pressed so close against his artery. He managed a small smirk of amusement. Sephiroth simply smiled.

"Xehanort. Braig. Aeleus." Sephiroth hid his emotions well, Xemnas noted. It probably helped that his sword was pressed against his throat. "How have the rest of your experiments gone?" He said casually, like Ansem hadn't conducted a study on him so many years ago. Xemnas huffed.

"Much better than your own, cur." He hissed. Sephiroth didn't even change his blank expression, merely pressed Masamune closer to his artery. Lexaeus snarled.

"Superior, should I--" Xemnas held up a hand, cutting Lexaeus off.

"No. I cannot win this--it is not a fair fight. If Sephiroth refuses to challenge me like a man, then I suppose it wouldn't be prudent to sink to his filthy, stinking level." He tossed his head back. "Tell Saix that..." His voice softened, as Sephiroth snarled. "I'm sorry I couldn't make it home."

Masamune went forward--and then stumbled.

"DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM!" A familiar voice rang through the clearing, and as they all turned to find the source, there was a bright flash of yellow as a sunhat fell on the ground. Xemnas stared, jaw somewhere in the vicinity of his chest. Senayax had latched on to Sephiroth's head and was biting and kicking him with all her might. "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM! I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL EAT YOU ALL UP!" She roared, pulling his hair and hissing like a rabid animal. Lexaeus almost dropped Skysplitter as Marluxia and Larxene burst out laughing. Xigbar glared at Demyx, who had skidded to a stop behind them both.

"Demyx, what the hell are you doing here?" He hissed. Demyx wilted.

"I came to protect you, Xigbar." He said softly. "She came to help you all." Xigbar looked at Senayax, now slamming her tiny feet into Sephiroth's kidneys and biting his ears for all she was worth, as the SOLDIER fumbled for his back, trying not to drop Masamune and yank her off at the same time. He began to laugh.

"Oh god, help? This is the best thing I have ever seen in my life, Demyx." He couldn't choke down giggles, and finally, the two began to laugh together. Xemnas sighed. _Always. Always something._

"Down, Yaya. Right now." He ordered, hiding his own amusement. She removed her teeth from Sephiroth's bleeding mess of an ear and yelled, "But if I do, he's gonna kill you!" Xemnas bit back another laugh.

"No, dear. I highly doubt it. Please get down before you get hurt." Xemnas sighed as he finally allowed himself an indulgent smile. She pouted.

"God darn it, fine." She gave Sephiroth one more kick to the kidneys for good measure, and jumped off, storming over to Xemnas and picking up her hat, grumbling and huffing the entire way, obviously annoyed at having been denied her 'right' to protect them. Sephiroth's eyes blazed with hatred as he summoned Masamune to him and sliced through Senayax's stomach with a flick of his wrist. Xemnas gagged, having choked down a scream, but not far enough, as he saw the sword sink deep into her. Lexaeus, knowing exactly what would happen, merely waited.

She stared up disinterestedly at Sephiroth as blood burst out of the wound like a fountain, spraying him in the face. He swore and yanked Masamune out of the wound, hissing in disgust. Larxene winced, and shuddered.

"Eugh, gross. Yaya, try to stop bleeding over all of us, please." She groaned, backing away from a spurt of blood that had landed near her boot. She nodded, obviously lost in thought, and clamped a hand over the wound with a mechanical sort of carelessness, watching it heal before closing her eyes. She tilted her head, still in thought.

"D'ya think Marluxia could sew this dress up? I really like it." She murmured, finally opening her eyes. Xemnas sighed, although he did have to admit to himself that he hadn't really been expecting a serious question.

"I'm sure, but this is not the time to discuss that. Sephiroth," he addressed the former SOLDIER, "why are you here?" The man had already wiped the blood away from his face and sniffed delicately, spitting the last of it on the ground.

"Simple. A monster calls to another. I could sense it...in her." He murmured. His wing fluttered, and something..._alien _throbbed under his skin. He pointed Masamune at Senayax. "Her little display of power just proved it." He said quietly. She huffed.

"I'm not a mean monster. I'm everyone's little monster girl, and they love me." She stated flatly, staring up at him from under a curtain of bloodied pink hair. Sephiroth shook his head.

"You're not anyone's monster girl, little child. I'm simply stating a fact. You have a monster living inside you. Not a 'gift' from mother, not your own darkness...you are nothing like them, and you are nothing like me. I know it, better than they ever will." He said it with utter conviction, like he had rehearsed this many times before. She shrugged, but her head was drooping as she wrung her hands.

"...It doesn't make me a monster." She whispered softly. Sephiroth shook his head.

"Why wouldn't it? You should EMBRACE it! It's a part of you that is unique, superior! Better than anything that was ever human! You could be as strong as I am!" He said, obviously amazed. She shook her head.

"Don't want to." She said softly. "Because if I be a monster, I don't deserve to be loved..." She closed her eyes. "I got t'be beautiful like that rabbit someday. It's all the hope I've got." Her shoulders started to shake.

"Don't want to be a monster. I don't...don't want it...I..." Her throat clogged with tears, and she coughed, gasping for air. Sephiroth pushed forward.

"You are power! Raw power! You can strike down everyone that crosses you!" He said with obvious frustration coloring his words. She looked up at him from under the hat, eyes filled with tears.

"But that's t'Bookeyman," she whispered, "not me. Not the real me." Sephiroth shook his head.

"No! You are the monster--it is through you it works, and it is because of you it flourishes!" He continued, truly believing he was aiding her, showing her the correct way. Senayax continued to cry.

"No! No, no, no! T'monster innit me! I innit the monster!" She clutched herself, and started to swivel slightly back and forth. "I...I don't...I don't want to be one. If I be one," she said softly, "I'mma do my best to git him out!" She snapped, stamping her foot against the stone and spitting on the ground. Sephiroth faltered.

"You really don't understand, do you?" He said softly, kneeling in front of her and taking her chin in his hand, tilting her head up to meet his eyes. "It's a gift you were given. You are the catalyst of a beast--you could mold entire worlds to your liking, I can sense it in you! Deep inside you, you could destroy all there ever was! Is that not what you want? Do you not desire to destroy what should have been yours? Love, friends, life?" She shook her head.

"Don't want to destroy." She said softly. "I want...to make it better. I wanna make everything better." Sephiroth observed her. Cold, calculating interest filled his eyes. Then, without another word, he sheathed Masamune.

"I see." He said softly. "Then I wish you luck, monster girl." He turned his back to the others. Suddenly, he seemed to remember something, and tilted his head back to stare at them.

"Will you experiment on her, same as you did me? Will you cut her open and examine her, try to find the _why_ in what she is?" His lip curled in distaste. "I'll tell you the answer already--there is no _why. _She just is." Xemnas narrowed his eyes. Sephiroth laughed grimly.

"I see. Goodbye, Xehanort. Perhaps I shall see you again." He looked down at Senayax.

"I shall hold you to your desire to make it better, little monster girl." He said. As she watched him, she nodded and accepted it.

Cloud swore as he saw Sephiroth disappear. He tried to scramble down the mountain, but it was too late--the former SOLDIER had already vanished. Senayax stood there, still shaking slightly as she stared at the spot where Sephiroth had been. Lexaeus put a hand on her shoulder, a subtle sign she was all right.

"I wanna go home now." She said softly. Lexaeus chuckled.

"I bet." He murmured as he stroked her hair, trying to send her a small signal, any signal, that she was not alone. She managed to giggle as well--Lexaeus was relieved she'd understood.

As Sephiroth and Senayax had conversed, the Heartless had been conquered. Without the others seeing, Ansem had followed Cloud down the rocks, standing before his former Apprentices.

He remembered the sunset Namine had captured. He knew he should be angry still, filled with hatred...but he could only feel the warmth and love. He managed a small smile as he watched them.

"Hello, boys." He said quietly. It only took a moment before they heard him, and they recognized that voice in an instant. Xigbar, Lexaeus, and Xemnas, normally all eloquent, merely stared. Ansem continued. "You've done well with this girl, Xehanort. Give credit where credit is due, after all." He said with a small sigh. Xemnas stiffened, obviously shocked. Then it hit Senayax.

"Ohh! Ohh, you knew them before, didn't you?" Her eyes got wide, finally realizing the full truth. Ansem laughed, and the tension in his and the Apprentices' bodies both dissipated.

"Yes. I did. They were my students." As he spoke, he managed to forget the Nobodies before him, and remember before...in Hollow Bastion, before it had fallen. She nodded, and looked up at him eagerly.

"Ienzo! Ienzo, you know, Zexion--what was he like?" Her eyes glinted with curiousity as she looked up at him. Ansem blinked in surprise.

"Why does it matter?" He said, his mind already putting pieces together. She suddenly seemed to get very shy, pulling the hat over her eyes and confirming what he'd thought was true. He tried not to smile, knowing it would further embarass the young girl.

"Ummm...I just was wondering...'cause he's...special." She finished lamely. Ansem started to laugh.

"Well, I can certainly--"

"You are in _so much trouble." _A new voice--one, unfortunately for Senayax, she knew quite well--resounded through the field.

Senayax jumped--and turned around to see the rest of the Organization standing behind her, looking incredibly annoyed. She squeaked in shock, hiding behind Ansem. Zexion stormed over to her, and for a second, she flinched. He saw it as he smelled her fear. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Yaya. You know I wouldn't hurt you." She nodded. He grinned. "But you are in a ton of trouble, young lady, I hope you know that." She huffed.

"I did it to protect Xemnas, an' Marly, and Lexaeus. Xigbar has Demyx, and Larxene's really strong, and I think Lexaeus would protect her, too." She looked pointedly at the larger man, shaking her head in mock disgust. The two Nobodies in question stiffened in shock, and Zexion shot Lexaeus a questioning--and highly amused--look. Lexaeus glared at him, along with Larxene. Frankly, Larxene's glare scared him more. Zexion sighed, and hugged her tightly.

"You know I wanted you with me." He said softly. She nodded.

"I know, Zexion. But sometimes, I have to protect the others, even if it means I'll get hurt." She murmured. Zexion wrapped his arms tighter around her.

"No," he whispered, "not always. Sometimes...we get to protect you. Okay?" He kissed the top of her head, letting his hand brush down her back. She nodded, and buried her face in his neck.

"Did I do a bad thing?" She whispered softly. Zexion shook his head.

"No. No, you didn't. Now come on--I'm sure we can really go home now." He said. Xemnas shook his head.

"The rest of you will go. I will stay. I need to finish one last thing." He closed his eyes, pain warping his face for an instant. Saix looked horrified, yanking him close and burying his face in his chest.

"Master! Please, no...please! Don't stay!" He was close to wailing, risking losing his composure in front of the others just to protect his master. Xemnas kissed his forehead.

"Hush, my pet. I will be back soon. Go." He kissed his lips, reassuring him with a small nip before pulling away. Saix was shaking, but he nodded, hugging him tightly, trying to pull away but wishing to have one more moment.

"I trust you." He whispered softly, and Xemnas relaxed, grateful. The others had let them have their moment, although Marluxia, Axel, and Larxene all looked highly amused.

Ansem looked at his youngest Apprentice. The little boy who he had raised, only to watch him fall. He watched him hug her close, and he raised an eyebrow_. Nothing has changed. _He mused. _He is still so protective, but still anxious. Such a brave, fragile boy. _He shook himself out of his reverie and spoke.

"You care for her? Even though you are a Nobody?" He asked. Zexion clutched Senayax tightly as he looked up at him. Ansem was slightly shocked by the fierce, possessive look in his eyes.

"Yes, teacher." He whispered. "I do." Ansem seemed satisfied with that answer.

"Until we meet again. This time, we did not meet as enemies. However, if I hear that harm comes to anyone because of this battle you and the Heartless wage, I will not be so forgiving." He said, turning to leave. Senayax heard that, and her eyes narrowed. She squirmed out of Zexion's arms, and glared up at Ansem--who was, in all honesty, about a foot taller.

"An' I hear or see you hurtin' em," she said, "I'mma just tear your throat out." She looked so fierce and serious, but Ansem still managed to laugh.

"I see. Shall we shake on that, then?" He said, proffering his hand to the tiny girl. She seemed surprised, but held out a hand in response. The two did indeed shake hands, and the Apprentices bit back smiles.

Sora looked at the Organization, and then back at his friends. "Yaya?" He said. "Will you...really try to make everything better?" She nodded.

"Ahuh! ...Um, as soon as I figure out how." She mumbled. Sora laughed.

"All right. I think you can--I think you'll find a way. Promise you won't hurt anyone?" He said, managing a smile. She looked up at him, and nodded.

"I promise." She said. He smiled.

"Great! I know I can trust you to keep it." He said confidently. She nodded, and put her hand on the Keyblade reverently.

"It...it's just like th' stories." She said softly. "You're like one of t'Knights." She smiled up at him. "Bye, Sora. I hope you find who you're looking for. I think...no, I _know _I'll see you later."

She, along with the rest of the Organization, disappeared. Xemnas disappeared separately from the others, in his own swirl of darkness.

Sora looked back at his friends, and without another word, everyone pulled into a hug. Sora bit back tears, his mind immediately going to how desperately he needed to share that moment with Kairi and Riku--but the sadness disappeared when he remembered both his friends and how much they loved him back.


	20. As His World Fell

(I am so very horribly sorry about this! I've had a combination of sickness, general busy-ness, and a mishmash of many other things keeping me from updating! Plus, this beginning sequence was newly written, and believe me, it was like dragging something out of my brain. D: Very tough to do, but I think it's worth it. /At least, I hope so./

Quick note--this chapter isn't explicitly gory, but it is...disturbing. You can guess who contributes to that. Also I apologize for the mood whiplash. D: Just as a warning.

Don't own Kingdom Hearts, and you know, with all the times I've taken canon and booted it out to the backyard, I don't even know if that matters anymore. xD

Dedicated to all the people who waited for so long~)

* * *

Namine sighed, curling up on the chair Ansem kept in front of his computers. She was tired, but she knew Ansem was going to be home soon, and she wanted to wait for him. She yawned, setting her sketchbook down and putting her head against the cushion, closing her eyes and sighing peacefully.

Ansem had already arrived home, but he was taking his time making his way down the hallway. It wasn't that he wanted to worry Namine, it was just...

The former ruler of Radiant Garden sighed. He was old, older than he'd let himself believe. It never bothered him, except...

His children had grown up. Ansem smirked for a moment, remembering their stunned looks as they'd faced their teacher once again. He almost laughed aloud, before he realized that the wary wonder and awe had been almost painful in its' emotional breadth. He snorted in digust. They were Nobodies. It was inconceivable that they would--did--feel.

"But they're my sons." He muttered to himself. "My boys..." Ansem swore quietly, closing his eyes as his body began to ache, memories shooting through every single nerve in his body, taunting him with agony.

_Teacher? Teacher, Even suffocated my hamster and put him in formaldehyde! _

_Teacher, Ienzo pushed my dictionaries in the moat! And I was _gonna _turn his hamster into a zombie, but the little ingrate hit me! _

Ansem smiled. The happy memories...

_Xehanort and Even had tried to make Ienzo go to bed. They really, really had. But there was just something so adorable about the eight-year-old little boy insisting on staying up with them so they could all listen to their teacher read classical Wutainese folktales. _

_Even if he threw a massive temper tantrum from exhaustion the morning after. _

The sweet, nostalgic memories...

Ansem paused at the door. Hollowmoon's voice had wormed its' way into his brain, and he suddenly realized he was trembling.

It was around this time that Namine stirred. She heard the soft swish of cloth against the stone floor and jumped out of her chair with a small smile. "Ansem?" She murmured, heading for the door and opening it. "Ansem, welcome home--" She was cut off midway when Ansem gathered her into his arms, nestling her close against his massive jacket. She squeaked softly with shock, keeping herself steady as she balanced herself on his shoulders. "A-Ansem, sir? Are you all right?" She asked. Ansem shuddered.

"My boys, Namine." He murmured. It was all he said for a long minute. He kept silent even as he sat down in the computer chair, stroking her hair with a gentle, fatherly touch. Namine simply held him. Then he sighed. "My boys have grown up." He murmured. Namine looked up at him.

"Ansem, what happened? Please tell me." She murmured. Ansem laughed darkly.

"I went to Hollow Bastion, as you recall. My children...my sons, my boys...they're...oh god, Namine, they...they were there." He whispered. Namine paused, trying to sort this out in her head. Then she smiled.

"What are they like, Ansem?" She murmured. Ansem looked down at her, and she smiled up at him, seeing his shock. "Well, I've drawn them...but I don't really know who they are." Ansem sighed.

"Who they were isn't important. They're Nobodies now. They've lost their hearts." He muttered. It was then he felt a shove against his chest, as Namine pushed herself away from him and backed away. Her eyes were full of something hurt and broken, and suddenly, Ansem wanted to take what he'd said back.

"A-am I heartless then?" She hissed. "Am I just a Nobody?" Namine watched Ansem intently. "Who are they, Ansem? Who am _I?" _She murmured. Ansem shuddered.

"I...I don't know..." He was stammering now, ideas and voice and sense failing him as this little blonde witch stared up at him. He didn't know what to say, but his mouth seemed to be ignoring that. "Namine, it's not...they...I..." As he tried to force words out, he realized that he was crying. Namine's eyes got wide as she crept closer to him slightly, reaching a trembling hand up to stroke away the tears. He nodded gratefully before inhaling, a shuddering breath wracking his chest before he could speak again.

"They were taken from me." He murmured. "They took my work, they took everything I had...I should hate them, Namine. I know. But...after what..." Ansem was still trying. "They still call me _teacher_...they still _care, _and they _shouldn't _care! They're Nobodies!" He stood up and slammed his fists against the computer desk.

"They shouldn't care at all!" He roared. "And even if they can, they shouldn't care about _ME!" _That seemed to spark something in Ansem, and his tears renewed as he slumped against the desk. Namine approached him hesitantly, stroking his back gently as he trembled. After a moment, he looked up and met her eyes.

"I led my little boys to the slaughter." He murmured. "I brought them straight to the door to all the worlds...and the gatekeeper of that door." His voice was raspy, low, and full of hatred.

"I brought them to Hollowmoon." He murmured. Namine tilted her head and stared up at him curiously.

"Ansem? Who's Hollowmoon?" She asked. Ansem growled quietly.

"Not who, Namine, but _what. _And what he is..." He sighed. "Not even I know. He is simply a monster." Ansem shook his head. "A monster I brought straight to my door." Namine's eyes got wide.

"Ohh. He sounds scary." She murmured. Ansem laughed, a harsh, grating bark that made Namine flinch.

"Scary? I suppose." He muttered darkly. "After all, he did tear open everything I was as a man, as a scientist..." Namine suddenly felt him trembling again. "...And as a father." He murmured.

Namine curled closer. "What happened, Ansem?" She asked, opening her sketchbook. Ansem shuddered.

"You would wish to draw such a scene, my little witchling?" He asked quietly. Namine nodded, settling herself more comfortably on his lap so she could lay her sketchbook down.

"I've got to." She murmured. "I've got to, so I can get your bad memories out." She murmured. Ansem paused for a moment. Then Namine felt his warm, gentle hand caress her hair.

"Thank you, my little witchling." He murmured. "I shall begin."

As Ansem told his story, Namine's pencils skated across the paper.

* * *

_"Xeh, are you sure this is gonna work? Teacher told us not to use it..." Ienzo asked, setting his notes down on the table. Xehanort nodded, ruffling Ienzo's hair and kissing his forehead. _

_"Yes, 'Zo, I am. Don't worry. I've tested this before. Teacher's gonna see how well it works!" Xehanort said cheerfully, flicking a few switches. Braig snorted, leaning against the machine. _

_"Fuck'ssakes, Xeh-Xeh, he's not here. How d'ya think we're gonna get him down here to see?" He asked. Even rolled his eyes and tapped his knuckles against the side of Braig's head._

_"Do you even _use_ your brain sometimes, Braig? We call him, of course." Even purred. Braig glared at him as Dilan burst out laughing. _

_"I think he's upstairs. Wanna yell for him, 'Zo? Looks like Xeh's almost done." He asked. The youngest Apprentice giggled with barely restrained glee. Aeleus held him up so he could yell closer to the door, and Ienzo wriggled into a more comfortable position._

_"Teacher! TEACHER! Come see, come see!" He crowed. Aeleus smiled in amusement as Ansem came down the steps, pulling his coat on as he stopped at the threshold. _

_Then Xehanort flicked the final switch._

All Ansem remembered was silence.

Then a high-pitched giggle.

_"Ooh, such a delectable little spread..." A...a _monster, _a monster in the deepest, most primal, most feral sense had appeared in his lab. Ienzo buried his face in Aeleus' chest, clutching him tightly. Ansem watched in horror as the beast stretched its' filthy, gangly limbs, yawning and displaying needle-teeth crammed into a raw pink mouth. Then it turned to him, dead-rose eyes hanging limply in a sunken swamp-colored face regarding him with gleeful contempt. _

_"Ooh, you're Wise Ansem? _The _Wise Ansem? The one that tried to figure out my sister's secrets? My, my! Aren't you just the sweetest, most delectable hunk of flesh I have seen in a long, long time!" The beast's thick, soggy tongue caressed his cheek, leaving sodden trails of slobber across Ansem's face. He fought down his gag reflex as the beast giggled. "I'm Hollowmoon. _The _Hollowmoon. The pleasure's all mine." Ansem simply watched him as he took his bald rat-tail and began to trail it across his body. "But it wasn't you who opened the door, was it, The-Wise-Ansem?" Hollowmoon's head lolled back with a sickening snap, his entire head hanging limply upside-down as he looked back at the Apprentices._

_"It was your little boys, wasn't it? Ooh, my goodness, they're so..." Hollowmoon purred. "You are simply one man, but they are six...so delicate, so..." Hollowmoon dragged his tail up Ansem's side. "So absolutely _virginal." _He giggled. "Little pure-hearted boys. But what about you, The-Wise-Ansem? What are you?" Hollowmoon leaned in close, needle-fangs glinting with saliva as he almost touched noses with Ansem. "Are you so pure and innocent?" Ansem simply watched him, still trying to figure out what had happened, what had brought this thing to him and his boys..._

_"You get away from teacher!" Ienzo shrieked, slamming his entire frail body into Hollowmoon's flank, pushing him away as frantically as he could. Ansem watched in horror as Hollowmoon turned to observe him. A thick, slimy eyebrow rose almost comically high into the air. With a swift, snappy movement, Hollowmoon turned to face Ienzo. Aeleus tried to stand in front of him, but Hollowmoon absentmindedly pushed him back with his tail._

_"Oh, you..." Hollowmoon breathed, excitement leaking into his words, "you are...something...special, my little sweetmeat." He giggled. "You know, you're cute for a small, innocent child. Normally, I don't eat kids. But with you...I think I can make an exception." Ienzo's eyes got wide as he backed away frantically, trying to hide behind Ansem. Ansem reached out a hand to defend both himself and Ienzo, before Hollowmoon rolled his eyes._

_"Move, Ansem, I haven't the time. It isn't you I want." He set his sights on Xehanort now. "It's, well, your sons." He giggled, wrapping his tongue around Xehanort's waist and pulling him close. "Mm, gosh, I don't even remember the last time I had someone so sweet and creamy in my mouth..." Xehanort snarled with rage as he tried to tear himself from Hollowmoon's grip, but the beast simply held tighter. As Hollowmoon dragged him closer, he buried his needle-fang lined snout into Xehanort's chest, and with a wet snuffling sort of sound, tore out his heart. _

_The blood flowing freely from Xehanort's wound as Hollowmoon ate the pure heart within him stunned them all for a moment, trapped them in its' complete vividness. _

_Then Ienzo screamed. This seemed to snap everyone out of their stupor, and they headed straight for Xehanort, who was screaming in agony. Ansem tried to move to help him, but Hollowmoon held him back with a gangly paw. "Not now, The-Wise-Ansem." He purred. "You're not supposed to save them for a looooong time." _

_Ansem could hear Xehanort bawling as Hollowmoon turned back to his sons. "You're all so delicious, my pretty little virgin-boys!" Hollowmoon sang. "Buuut I want...let's see, ooh, Dilan! Dilan, hold still." He ordered, pinning him with one gangly limb and burying his snout into Dilan's chest. With another wet snuffling slurp, his heart was gone and Dilan was screaming, still trying to defend Xehanort even as he bled out above him. _

_Ansem was trapped now, trapped behind something that he couldn't touch, couldn't name, couldn't break. Aeleus had pushed both Even and Ienzo behind him as he backed away, raising a sword to defend all three of them. Hollowmoon grinned. "Aww, you haven't heard the old saying, have you, Ae-liss?" He teased, creeping closer and watching their eyes widen with sheer terror before he fit his entire mouth around the sword and snapped it in two, chewing the pieces for a moment before spitting them out again. "Close, but no cigar!" He crowed, tearing Aeleus' heart out with a simply dip of his head. _

_Even gathered Ienzo into his arms, but it did no good. Hollowmoon yawned lazily, displaying his gaping pink mouth before clacking his needle-teeth together again, snapping his jaw tight around Even's chest. Ienzo was bawling hysterically, trying to pull Even away, but the older Apprentice looked down at him and grasped his hand. _

_"Run, 'Zo!" He yelled, a gasp of pain choking him for an instant. "It's okay! Go! I'm all right, I love you!" Ienzo wailed in agony, clawing his way through the lab on his hands and knees and screaming everyone's names._

_"Dilan! Braig! Even, Aeleus, Xeh-Xeh, help me! Teacher! TEACHER, HELP ME!" Ienzo screamed, hearing Hollowmoon skittering behind him. Ansem roared in agony, not realizing he was clawing at his face until he felt blood seeping into his fingernails. _

_"Get the _fuck _away from him, you rotten son of a whore!" Braig roared, slamming one of his arrowguns straight into Hollowmoon's skull as he moved to stand in front of Ienzo. The beast hissed in agony, and for a sheer moment of exhilarated wonder, Braig thought he'd won. _

_Then Hollowmoon reached up and pulled it out. "Braig, you're in my way." He deadpanned. Braig trembled for a moment, before his instinct won over and he slammed his fist into Hollowmoon's face. The beast snuffled, knocking it away and giggling at Braig's horrified stare._

_"Braaaaig, don't look at me like thaaat..." Hollowmoon purred, drumming his claws against the side of Braig's face for a moment before he yanked them across it with a harsh shriek, gashing them across the left side of his face. Braig screamed in agony, but still tried to push Ienzo away. Hollowmoon sighed. "You're still looking..." _

_With that, he tore his other claw over the right side of Braig's face, dragging his tongue over the new wounds before pulling his mouth away with a wet smack, burying his muzzle back into Braig's chest and tearing out his heart. Ienzo's hideous wailing was suddenly the only noise left in the room. Hollowmoon picked the boy up with a mocking sort of gentle care, laying him down in front of Ansem and settling himself over the boy, leaning down to lick Ienzo's face. _

_"He's so cute..." Hollowmoon teased. "Your last son, Ansem. Your pretty little baby boy. The darling of the Apprentices. Are you still looking, Ansem?" He asked. Ienzo was sniffling now, tears mixing with the blood of his brothers and Hollowmoon's slobber._

_"Teacher, teacher...teacher, please help..." His eyes rolled back into his head for a moment as pain wracked his body. Hollowmoon simply giggled again, dipping his head slightly. Ansem simply watched, feeling like his heart was lying on the floor in front of him. Ienzo saw the agony in his eyes and reached a trembling, bloodsoaked hand out at him. "Teacher, oh no, don't cry, teacher..." He murmured. Ienzo looked up at Hollowmoon._

_"Please...if you can eat me up, can you bring my brothers back to my teacher?" He asked, tears still trailing down his face. "They need my teacher...B-Braig just started another experiment t-today..." Hollowmoon nodded. _

_"Oh, of _course_, my little sweetmeat...no need to worry..." With that, he buried his snout into Ienzo's chest, relishing the wail of agony as he pulled the youngest Apprentice's heart out, "...teacher's not going to need you anymore." _

_He stuck his tongue inside the gaping wound left by taking their hearts, lapping out a bit of blood from each of Ansem's boys as he crept around the room. Ansem simply watched, blood dripping down his hands and his eyes blank and half-dead with madness. Then Hollowmoon turned back to him._

_"That was fun." He said. "We're going to meet again sometime." _

_With that, the darkness that was the beast itself seeped over the entire world of Radiant Garden, and it all started to crumble. Even as the world dissolved around him, Ansem could do no more than simply crawl over to the bodies of his sons and hold them close, weeping in agony as the sun started to set. _

* * *

Namine watched him with her eyes wide, terror warping her features. Ansem realized his entire body was shaking, and he felt bile rising in his throat. She'd dropped her pencil somewhere along the line, and it had rolled away under the desk. Neither of them seemed to care. Then Namine spoke.

"That must have been sad..." She murmured. "Did it hurt, Ansem?" He looked down at her, eyes wide with shock.

"Did what hurt, Namine?" He asked quietly. Namine wrung her hands nervously.

"Being sad." She murmured. Ansem sighed.

"Yes. It did." He paused for a moment. "You know, sometimes I think you're quite lucky not to feel, Namine." Namine shook her head, burying her face into his chest.

"That's not true, Ansem..." She whispered. "I'm not lucky at all." She looked at him. "Because right now...I feel so terribly, terribly sad for you...but I can't...really feel it." Without warning, she wrapped her arms around him. "Is...is a hug enough?" She asked. Ansem kissed the top of her head, settling her into his arms.

"Yes, Namine." He murmured. "A hug is enough."

* * *

The Organization had returned to the castle, but all had come back separately. They had their own matters to attend to.

Zexion hadn't relinquished his death grip on Senayax since they'd arrived home ten minutes ago. She was nestled tightly in his arms, but she didn't seem to mind. In fact, she was nuzzling his neck and giggling, her arms wrapped around him. The teen had all but plainly stated that if anyone except him laid a hand on her right now, he would tear that hand off. He sat in the plush room and stroked her hair, just watching the fireplace flicker.

"Are you really mad at me, Zexion?" She asked softly, startling him out of his thoughts. Zexion shook his head.

"God, no." He murmured, stroking her hair and fiddling with the strands. "You scared me so bad...but I'm not angry." He sighed. "Yaya, there are times when we have to protect you. You know that." She was silent for a long time. Then she sighed.

"There are times when you can't. Do you know that, Zexion?" Her voice wasn't her own in that moment, and Zexion shuddered with fear. But he still held her close.

"I do. I just won't accept it." He replied. That odd, ancient feeling drained itself from her body, and she seemed to return to herself. She looked up at him with a small smile.

"You're real brave, Zexion." Senayax murmured. "Do I get t'be brave?" She asked. Zexion held her a little closer, running a hand down her sides.

"Yes." He sighed, a teasing smile tugging at his lips. "But I think you've been brave enough for today." He reached over to the small table, tugging a book from the stack. "Brave enough that I think you really deserve this." She smiled with happiness as he opened the book and began to read.

* * *

Marluxia had come home, and had been promptly pounced on by Vexen. "I need to examine you for injuries." He said firmly, dragging him up to his room. Marluxia raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't all your medical equipment downstairs?" He said with a small hint of amusement coloring his words. Vexen shook his head.

"Won't need medical equipment. Not for this." He said sharply. Marluxia paused--and then grinned wickedly.

_"Really." _He purred. He caught up with Vexen, and brought him close, stroking his back and pinning him to his body. The blonde snorted, his self-restraint slowly eroding.

"Please. I'll just take a look at you." He muttered. Marluxia shook his head, and began kissing Vexen's neck--he smiled against the skin, feeling the older man shudder in pleasure.

"Mm. A look all over, cutie?" He breathed, licking the shell of Vexen's ear. To his credit, Vexen merely rolled his eyes, stamping lust down with iron-clad boots.

"I was serious about examining you. Don't turn it into what's it's not, Marluxia." He managed to say without totally exposing his lie and then stripping them both and promptly taking the man right on the hallway floor. Marluxia huffed.

Hmm. It seemed that he was going to have to work harder on this one. But he could wait, and bide his time. Oh, it would be so much easier in a few minutes.

Vexen opened the door, and walked in. Marluxia watched him sit on the bed, and he realized Vexen's hands were trembling. He knelt in front of him in surprise. "Hun? Hey, Vexen?" He murmured. He looked up, and saw Vexen was biting his lip, eyes clenched shut to hold back tears. He got up on the bed and pulled him close. "Vexen, what's wrong?" He asked. Vexen was trembling in his arms, and Marluxia clutched the blonde closer, feeling how bony he was. He winced.

"Baby, you have to eat more often." He teased.

Vexen burst into tears.

Marluxia began stroking his hair, fussing frantically and tugging gently at his hands. "Vexen? Vexen, what's wrong!? What did I say?" He asked. Vexen had to choke down tears for a moment before he had inhaled enough to speak without sobbing midsentence.

"I'm not beautiful, I'm sorry!" He wailed, clutching his lover tighter as he trembled in his arms. Marluxia blinked, trying to process Vexen's sudden outburst. Vexen was still shuddering, shaking his head in sadness. "I...I just...my body's not worth warming a bed." He muttered darkly. "Don't think I don't know that." Marluxia was unable to speak, completely in shock. Vexen took it as an affirmation and continued on, not noticing the look of horror on Marluxia's face.

"Marluxia, I'm not stupid. I'm hideous. It's a miracle you ever even looked at me." Vexen muttered, huffing with dark amusement. He shuddered, the truth finally taking him and clawing at the little vestigal emotion he could still feel. "Don't bother taking your pleasure in me. There are better bodies and more experienced lovers." He said bitterly.

Marluxia simply watched him for a second.

Then he pulled Vexen close and kissed him ferociously, unzipping his jacket with such force that the clasp broke. He simply tore it in two from there, yanking it off and tossing it aside. Vexen watched in shock as Marluxia tore at his clothes like a man possessed, stripping him quicker than Vexen could register until he realized he was naked. He flared red as tears continued to fall. "Marluxia, please...don't do this to me." He pleaded. "I don't...want you to leave me...after this is over." Marluxia stared at him incredulously.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He hissed. Vexen blinked. It was the first time he'd actually heard Marluxia swear with such absolute rage. The calm, slightly bemused arrogant Marluxia was gone, and he'd left a seething lover in his place. Vexen merely watched Marluxia as he began to sputter. "Vexen, are you fucking _serious_?! I have spent _months," _Marluxia kissed him, sliding his tongue into his mouth and burying his hands in his hair as Vexen simply felt him explore, still in shock, "weeks, days, I HAVE SPENT _GOD KNOWS HOW LONG TRYING TO BE YOUR LOVER!" _He screamed, pulling away from his lips only to pull him closer and shake him as he began to cry. "Your _LOVER!" _Vexen stared up at him.

"M-Marluxia...you...you're beautiful. I'm not. Why? Why take me? My body's not worth anything, not compared to yours." He shuddered, still in tears. He blinked them away, and shook his head. He knew it was the time to ask the question that had haunted him."Marluxia, you could have your pick of anyone, woman or man. Why do you stay? To continue this endless dance, dealing with all the times I've lashed out and hid from your affections?" Marluxia watched him, and then snorted in amused annoyance.

"Because I love you." He said, kissing Vexen's forehead. Vexen stared up at him in complete shock. Marluxia laughed. "Vexen, I've wanted you for all this time, and I still do. _Because _of who you are, not in spite of it." He smiled. "I've chased you for what seems like forever...would someone who simply wanted a body warming his bed do such a thing?" Marluxia began to stroke his lover's chest, shaking his head in amusement as he traced the lines of muscle. He leaned down and kissed Vexen's neck, teasing the skin with his tongue. Vexen shuddered and mewled, trying to speak. Marluxia laughed as he pinned him against the bed gently.

"Oh no, sweetheart, no." He purred. "No talking, you'll only protest my claims." He nipped his neck again, smirking in pleasure at the mewling and squirming Vexen was doing for him. "I want to _show _you how beautiful you are."

* * *

Demyx winced, having known the explosion was coming from the second he'd entered their room. But he held his head high--until Xigbar turned to him, a panicked fury in his eyes.

"You could have been _killed." _Xigbar hissed at Demyx. The blonde bowed his head, biting his lip and trying not to cry. He hugged Xigbar tightly and shook his head, hands running across his back, trying to feel him, remember he was there--safe.

"I know. I knew that from the minute I got out of bed and went there. But I did it for you." He whispered. "I...I needed to protect you. Xigbar, you mean everything to me." He whispered. Xigbar tilted his lover's head up. Demyx's eyes were determined and his jaw was set. He laughed.

"Kitten, you know something? You are much stronger than you let on." Xigbar said, ruffling his hair. Their eyes met, and Demyx knew exactly how much that meant coming from Xigbar. He clutched his hand in response and squeezed it gently. Xigbar grinned as he pulled him close, flicking his forehead. Demyx groaned and stuck his tongue out at him.

"Well, of course. I'm the master of faking stupid." He teased, as Xigbar rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Dem...you're not stupid, but..." He closed his eyes. "There's something I need to know." He whispered. Demyx looked up at him.

"Uh-huh? What is it, Xig?" He asked. Xigbar couldn't fight down a shudder as he pressed Demyx close to him.

"What did you do that for? You knew...you knew all the consequences. You knew you could've died. But you still did it, just for me. _Why? _You went against orders, and you came to protect me. Hell, if you hadn't been killed, how would you know whether or not Xemnas would've turned you into a Dusk? What made you think it was worth it?" He said, shaking his head in amazement. Demyx was silent for a moment--and then began to laugh.

"Is that all?" He said, looking up at Xigbar in amusement. His lover blinked in surprise. Demyx giggled, taking his turn to flick Xigbar's forehead for once.

"Well, it's not that hard to see, is it? I mean...what made me think it was worth it?" He said softly. "You, of course." He paused. He had to say it. He didn't care what Xemnas said, and he didn't care about what it might mean, or what it might affect. He needed to say it right _now._

"I love you, Xigbar." He said firmly, throwing all caution to the wind. "I love you more than anything." His lover paused. Demyx could see his mind warring with whatever remnants of a heart he had left. Demyx bowed his head and shuddered with pain. "I'm sorry, Xigbar, I know...it's not--" Xigbar crushed his lips in a possessive kiss. Demyx gasped quietly, shuddering in pleasure against his touch.

He barely registered his hands moving up and untying Xigbar's eyepatch, pulling it away as they kissed. He traced the scar that had forever shut his lover's eye as he held close to him, waiting for his answer.

"I love you too, Demyx." Xigbar said as he pulled away. The nocturne could only nod, looking into his shining eye and kissing his scar. Xigbar hugged him close. "Even if it's just memories...I love you, Dem." He said softly, relishing the words.

Demyx nodded again, and Xigbar could already feel his little songbird trembling against him. He stroked his back. "Dem? Demyx, it's okay. I'm right here. Everything's okay, Demyx." He whispered, kissing the top of his head. Demyx nodded, still unable to speak.

"X-Xigbar...I...I...I'm so glad...I love you, I really do..." He murmured, finally managing to say it as he hugged him closer. Xigbar nodded as he gathered him into his arms. Demyx was crying as Xigbar set him down on the bed, both relieved and joyous. Xigbar snorted in amusement and ruffled his hair.

"No tears, kitten." He whispered. "Not when I want to give you bliss."

Demyx kissed him--and emotions or not, Xigbar felt infinite.

* * *

Larxene sighed, filing her nails and looking around her room. Marluxia had been kidnapped by Vexen, and she was bored. She wanted to go see Lexaeus, but... She sighed.

"Idiot hero." She muttered darkly. "I can't even begin to understand..." She started talking to herself, unaware of the fact that Lexaeus wasn't listening. "What the hell would you want from me? Do you want what they wanted, Lexaeus?" She paused. "...Do you want what he wanted?" She whispered. The memory came back, and it had torn into her with the force of a knife to the heart. She slammed her fist into the wall, lightning charring the paint around it. She hissed with hatred.

"...But you made that...promise." She shook her head. "You idiot." She sighed. "That stupid promise. For all your smarts, don't you get it, Lexaeus?" She felt traitor tears falling, and she wiped them away with a harsh swipe of her hand.

"I'm not worth a promise." She murmured.

* * *

Roxas had come home in tears, and Axel knew why. He simply let his younger lover sob, running a gentle hand down his back as he shuddered with pain. He was shaking so hard that Axel geniunely worried he was going to faint. He discarded his boots and clambered onto the bed with him, pulling Roxas close and kissing the top of his head. Roxas inhaled, a sob catching in his throat, before finally managing to talk.

"S-Sora...it...it w-was...Sora, and...and...oh, Axel..." He wailed, before burying his head into Axel's chest, sobbing so hard that he began to gag. Axel held him close and rocked him back and forth. While Roxas wept, Axel sang softly and kissed him.

"I know, Roxas. Sweetheart, you can't go back." He murmured. "We need you. You're our Key of Destiny..." He whispered. Roxas shook his head.

"B-but, I...he exists, and I don't! Axel, it's not fair! It's not fair, it's not fair, _it's not fair!" _He howled, before doubling over in coughs, his throat raw from screaming. Axel steaded him against his chest and kissed him once more.

"I know, Roxas. But _becoming _Sora isn't a way to exist." He murmured. Roxas shook his head.

"I'm nothing. Axel, don't you get it? I...I wasn't supposed to exist. I...he's...he's whole. I'm just...nothing." He hissed. "He's human. He's got a heart. I'm just half of what he was. I'm not even my own person." He shook his head in disgust.

He paused, feeling his lover's skin heat up. He knew the heat signified that Axel was agitated, and he tilted his head up to face him. The instant their eyes met, Axel contorted his body and twirled Roxas around to face him, both of them sitting up on their knees. He clutched Roxas' shoulders and held his gaze, emerald eyes shining with barely contained ferocity.

"So you're telling me I fell in love with Sora." He purred, but there was no gentleness in his voice. Roxas shook his head.

"No, I didn't say that, I...I, Axel--" He was cut off by his lover pushing him down on the bed and pinning him. His hips were situated snugly against Roxas's own, and he fought back a shiver. Axel leaned down so they were practically nose-to-nose and continued watching him.

"Roxas. _You_ complete _me." _He murmured. "Neither of us are whole." He said, tracing the path down his lover's chest, before stroking where his heart would lay. "That's why we love each other. Because we need to." He said. "To keep the light in our lives...our existences, complete or otherwise...we have to let light in. Even if it's false light--a lamp rather than a candle, so to speak--it's still light. It's still a way out of the darkness."

Roxas watched him with his eyes full of tears. Axel grinned. "You're a living light. I can't help but be drawn to you." He pulled him even closer. "Roxas, I need you. Okay? 'Cause you are my light." He said. For once, Axel was completely serious--a small shock to Roxas. He nodded.

"I'll light up the darkness. For both of us." He murmured. Axel managed a smile. The two linked hands--fingers lacing together, two halves forming a whole, and light flowing between.

* * *

Saix had returned alone. Lea had tried to comfort him, but he soon understood his friend simply needed to be alone, and Saix had reassured him that he could go to Roxas. However, that didn't mean he was alright.

He sighed, shaking his head as he slumped wearily against the kitchen table. Everyone else had gone to be with their mates. Except him. He closed his eyes. His master had left him. He said he was coming back, but each time, Saix worried if that was really true--if he would fade, and he would not be there to hold his master's hand, if nothing else. He could hear the others in the castle--each individual breathing pattern, each sigh or gasp. He ached, hating to have to listen to it. He could hear the lovemaking, and he could only yearn. He clasped his hands over his ears, but it did no good. He sighed.

His master had never told him that he loved him. Oh, Saix knew they did not have emotions. Xemnas had plainly stated that, and though some of the others believed otherwise, he trusted his master to the ends of all the worlds and beyond. If Xemnas said it, it was correct. He just... Saix sighed, closing his eyes to stop any foolish, traitorous tears from falling.

He wanted to hear his master tell him how much he loved him. If Xemnas heard that from him, he would surely never call Saix to his side again, but it was his greatest wish. To hear his master tell him how much he meant to him, so Saix could tell his master how much he meant to him in return.

Yet...he was content to remain by his master's side, even without those simple words. Because no sacrifice was too great for his master, his Superior. Even that sacrifice--the sacrifice of staying silent, even when his whole body and nonexistent heart screamed the words, _I love you, _with every breath.

He had been so absorbed in his monologue that he had blocked out the noise. Saix sighed, all of it rushing back to him in an instant--and then his eyes widened. That breathing. That pattern he knew better than anyone else's.

"_Master!" _He roared, tearing out of the kitchen and rushing hellbent down the steps. Xemnas was at the door of the castle, blood dripping from a massive gash that pratically split his shoulder in two. Saix could feel himself embracing the rage, turning back to a berserker, but he held on to a single shred of sanity--just long enough to ask who would _dare _harm his master. Xemnas sank to his knees in pain, clutching the door frame for support. Saix roared, and stood above him, voice thick with rage.

"_Who." _He snarled, voice barely human. "_Who did this." _Xemnas tried to speak, but gasped with pain. This further agitated Saix, who was only keeping a tenuous hold on that shred of sanity at best. Xemnas moaned softly, trying to choke down the pain.

Saix lost that last shred of sanity, and knelt before his master, mouth closing along the wound, the blood filling his mouth, strengthening him, driving him further towards bloodlust and carnage. Xemnas hissed in pain while he tried to pull away, but Saix held him still, blood dripping from his mouth. Xemnas could see the tears trailing down his pet's face, and he closed his eyes. "My pet." He whispered. "Saix." The man clutched his back, whimpering.

"M-master...h-help me..." He pleaded. Xemnas nodded, knowing exactly how to take away the rage. He stroked his berserker's back, kissing him as best as he could from their position.

"Come with me, Saix. I will be all right. You need to let go of your rage. Only then will you be able to aid me." He murmured, kissing the top of Saix's head. The berserker moaned, pain warring with his desire to obey. Finally, in a minute that felt like eternity, he pulled his mouth away from the wound. Xemnas stroked his hair, murmuring nonsense words as Saix wailed.

"Please, master, what...happened!?" He managed to say, pulling himself up. He'd already shouldered Xemnas's weight, and was trying to get him to stand. Xemnas groaned in pain, before finally managing to speak.

"Heartless. Went...went to Hollow Bastion...castle...wanted to see h-home...just...one more time..." His eyes filled with tears, and Saix cradled him close, murmuring sweet words of comfort. Xemnas closed his eyes. "It was beautiful, Saix...the castle...just like...before..." Saix nodded, and brought him up the steps, shrieking for Vexen.


	21. Body

(Grr normal updating schedule. I am totally off track with updates, and I am geniunely sorry about that. D: Vacation's here now, so I should be able to return to my regularly scheduled programming. /glee/

So...yeah. Kirai, I apologize for this chapter because, well, Xemnas and Saix, well... It's not pretty. Although yay Larxene being hardcore~!

Also, poor Zexion. D: His torture is unending. And of course there's that one little niggling problem... Yes, well, Yaya is a little kid. Haha, half of these comments won't make sense until you actually read the chapter, but OHWELL. Guess you have to read it now! xD

Don't own Kingdom Hearts, yep yep yep. Dedicated to TvTropes for eating away at my sanity and causing me to stop writing the prequel. Seriously, I'm just going to publish the first few chapters soon and then update when I write a new one. Otherwise you'll NEVER get it. D:)

* * *

Vexen was cuddled close into Marluxia's chest at the time, half-asleep and still in utter bliss. He didn't hear Saix. Lexaeus, however, did.

"Saix?" The hero said, darkness sinking below him as he teleported. "What..._Superior_!" The larger man was far more easily enabled to carry Xemnas, although Saix was reluctant to relinquish his grip. Lexaeus tilted his head back. "Zexion should be smelling the blood soon enough--he'll be coming to find us. Run downstairs to the lab, please, and get the medical equipment. I need peroxide and bandages--and possibly a syringe. The sedatives and painkillers are the green and blue bottles, respectively." Saix nodded, and bolted down the steps.

--

Zexion had been stroking Senayax's hair for almost an hour, still playing with the light, wispy strands. He'd read her a few stories out of _Tales Of The Keyblade Bearers_, and she was content to simply cuddle Ienzo and sit with him. He, in turn, let his thoughts shift like sand under an ocean wave while he just touched her. The feel of her skin and hair under his fingers drove him mad, but he just kept going back to it, in turn.

Then the stench of blood rushed towards him, heady and cloying as it gathered so thickly into his throat that he could practically taste it. He swore, recognizing the scent. Xemnas'. Senayax tilted her head up, and blinked sleepily at him. "Someone's in trouble, innit they?" She murmured. Zexion nodded. She wriggled off his lap, and jumped to the floor. "Guess we gotta go." The two walked up the steps, Zexion finally finding his way towards where the scent was wafting from--the Superior's room.

* * *

Saix slammed into the lab door, not even bothering to open it. He bolted down the steps, skipping two, even three at a time. He needed to get down to the lab and get the supplies. His master was _hurting. _He skidded to a stop at the foot of the steps, and observed the room. His eyes widened.

"Larxene? What are you doing down here?" Saix had found the nymph down in the lab, pacing the floor. He was shocked--Larxene, to his knowledge, had never set foot in the lab, but she acted like she knew the place's layout by heart from the way she moved. She snarled at him.

"None of your damn business." She said, going back to her pacing. Saix narrowed his eyes.

"Do not push me. My master is wounded, and my temper is fraying." He hissed quietly. She growled.

"Push _you? _Try me. I'll stab you through your goddamn stomach!" She spat, already summoning her knives. Saix snarled. She snarled right back.

Then Saix remembered his master needed the medicine. He backed down, and tried a different tactic. "Lexaeus sent me down here to find medicine." He said. She blinked, suprised.

"Wait, Lexaeus? What did he need?" Her voice became brusque, attentive. Saix was surprised--her attitude had immediately become much more concerned and interested. He sighed.

"Peroxide, bandages, a syringe, painkillers and some sedatives." He recited. She snagged it all within a minute, that possessive attitude returning.

"Be glad I'm down here, wolf-boy," she grumbled, "I've already memorized where everything is in this room. I've been down here for an hour!" Saix raised an eyebrow as he ascended the steps.

"Why?" He asked. She glared at him, and Saix remembered Larxene was the _last _person in all the worlds who would bluff about stabbing someone in the stomach. He shook his head. "Not important right now." The two teleported to the door of Xemnas's bedroom, with Zexion and Senayax already there, twisting the doorknob to open it.

His master lay on the bed where they had spent endless nights together, gazing at Kingdom Hearts. Only now, with his master's pain, the picture of angelic perfection was ruined. His chest was slicked in sweat and blood and he was groaning in pain, shuddering with every shallow breath. Larxene stormed past them all, and pressed the supplies into Lexaeus's hands. She looked at Xemnas. "Why didn't you fade, Superior?" She whispered, suddenly serious and grim. "You look like shit." Xemnas chuckled.

"I told...Saix...I'd come back." He murmured. The others stiffened. Xemnas had never cavalierly discussed his relationship--good god, it was obvious, but...he'd never said anything like that where they could hear. Even Saix was stunned. He closed his eyes, and bowed his head.

"Master, please. Don't talk like that--you're not dying. You'll be all right. Lexaeus, give me the damn peroxide." He said, a sudden hazy burst of sadness and frustration overtaking his mind. The hero handed it over without complaint, but Larxene snarled.

"Just because you're angsting, wolf-boy, doesn't mean you can talk shit to Lexaeus!" She spat, lightning crackling at the tips of her fingers. Now Lexaeus was stunned. It seemed that today was the day for everyone to get hit by the speeding streetcar that was love. Or whatever this was. Saix raised an eyebrow. Larxene snarled, her right hand curling into a fist. Xemnas chuckled in amusement.

Saix sighed, and set to putting the peroxide on the massive gash. It fizzed, cleaning the gash and purging it of any infection. Xemnas swore, hissing curses through clenched teeth. Saix took his hand and squeezed it gently. Xemnas wrapped his fingers around Saix's hand, squeezing back.

"Master, we have painkillers. Do you need them?" He said, stroking his master's hand with his thumb, absently rubbing it over his bronze skin in small circles. Xemnas vehemently shook his head.

"No, Saix. I'll be all right. Just...stay with me." He said softly. Saix nodded. He took one of the little hi-potions off the bedside table, and uncorked it, tipping it to his lips. Normally, Xemnas could be like a very young child when it came to medicines. He absolutely refused on principle to ever drink them, and the one time where he had been _forced _to do so, Vexen had bound his wrists and ankles to the table with _permafrost--_and then he _still _tried to spit it out afterwards. Saix chuckled in amusement at that memory. This time, however, he drank it without complaint.

"I'll be all right. Please, Zexion, Larxene, Lexaeus, Senayax--I don't need to be watched over." He said, waving a hand in the air regally. The little girl sniffed.

"Fat chance you're gettin' rid of me." She said, chest puffed up. She sat at the foot of the bed, stubbornly glaring at him. Xemnas smiled, and leaned back, closing his eyes. Zexion rolled his eyes, and picked her up within an instant. "OI! OI! PUT ME DOWN, PUT ME DOWN! ZEXION! ZEXIIOOON! CHEATER!" She shrieked, trying to squirm free. He carried her over his shoulder out of the room, the others laughing and following behind. Then, as Larxene shut the door, realization dawned upon her.

"He didn't mention Saix, did he?" She said, a smile creeping across her face. Lexaeus nodded. She grinned at him. "Today is getting more interesting by the minute." Lexaeus looked curiously at her, and then managed to ask her a question that had been nagging at him since she'd snapped at Saix.

"Why did you defend me?" He said softly. She looked at him, and her large green eyes widened even further, staring at him with something that could only be called terror. Lexaeus winced. "Forgive me, I didn't...are you...all right? It seems every time I try to talk, I upset you--" She shook her head feverently.

"No!" She hissed. Lexaeus held his hands up in a gesture of surrender. She continued. "No, that's...not it. I...it's tough to explain. I've got to go talk to Marluxia." She disappeared, leaving Lexaeus with even more blasted questions.

"You, little nymph," he whispered, "are the toughest puzzle I have ever seen."

* * *

Senayax was howling the whole way down the hallway. Zexion simply stroked her back, but it did no good.

"Put me DOWN! Put me DOWN! ZEXION! DOWN! I WANNA GET DOWN!" She howled indignantly with each step. Zexion rolled his eyes, wincing in pain as her tiny fists beat his back. He sighed.

"Yaya, please. You've been away from me all day. I just...want you here with me. Saix is taking care of Xemnas. Come, it's dinnertime." He said quietly. She sighed, and rolled her eyes in disdain.

"_Okaaay_. But only 'cause I love you." He froze, almost dropping his bundle of annoyed little girl. She seemed confused. "Did...did I say something wrong?" She said, instantly nervous. Tears started to gather in her eyes. Zexion shook his head, and set her down.

"No," he whispered, "no. Come here." She buried herself in his arms within a moment, sniffling and trying to hold back tears as she crawled into his lap. "I love you so much, Yaya." He murmured, forgetting about hearts and Nobodies and whatever wasn't her. She nodded, still clutching his coat. Suddenly, she met his eyes for a moment, as the two looked at each other silently. Then she tilted her head up and kissed him. Zexion was taken completely aback, but then the lust he'd been denying crashed over him.

He kissed her, kissed her and knew while he did, he was playing a very dangerous game. But he just wanted her, wanted to kiss her, hold her, simply _wanted._ He could feel himself stirring, and he tried to fight the lust down, knowing all the while that he was waging a losing battle. She tilted her head like a curious kitten confronted with a piece of string. She rubbed against his arousal and blinked, observing it swell and rise. He bit his lip, pulling her close.

"Yaya. Please...not now." His voice was strained, fighting back the urge to curse waiting and just take her on the floor. Then she whimpered softly.

"Zexion? It hurts real bad." She said softly. He realized she had been pressed against his erection, probably without understanding it. He swore.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, cursing himself. She shook her head, and twirled a strand of his hair around her finger.

"Don't be." She murmured, before she smiled at him. "Why?"

He knew he could've told her. He could have explained...he could have. The promise he'd made warred within him with the desire to keep her from utterly loathing him for the rest of her days. But he had made her a promise.

"Because...I shouldn't love you." He whispered, feeling like filth. She shook her head.

"That's silly. I love you. Very much. I love all of you!" She giggled. Then she blushed. "But, um, is it bad if you're my...favorite?" She said softly, cuddling a little closer. Zexion managed to smile.

"No. It's not. But, Yaya...please, for your sake, don't...I..." He just settled for hugging her. "Come on, dinner's waiting." He finally said. She smiled, and followed him down the hall. Zexion sighed. He had accepted the game, and pulled her into the dance. He knew that there was going to be consequences. That what he was doing...could lead to them both getting hurt deeply. But he accepted that, because he'd accepted the consequences of loving her the second he'd kissed her.

Suddenly, she turned back to him, and Zexion realized he'd been speaking out loud. For a moment, Senayax was gone and another woman had taken her place. The woman was Senayax...only _not. _The colors of her skin, her hair, they were all the same, but they just looked _borrowed,_ as if she was hiding in someone else's skin. As Zexion watched, unable to move, she turned back to face him with eyes as brilliant and white as the moon.

"So has she." The woman whispered.

* * *

Dinner was...different. Saix and Xemnas's absences had left a gap--along with the absence of Marluxia, Vexen, Axel, Roxas, Xigbar, and Demyx. Zexion groaned, handing Senayax an apple. "God, they're hopeless." Zexion muttered. Larxene groaned in agreement. Senayax chewed thoughtfully on the apple, apparently deep in thought.

"I'm glad they're happy, though." She whispered. Zexion nodded.

"I suppose, but still. Good lord, it's like dealing with a bunch of children." He grumbled. Larxene snorted.

"Except they're 'children' who are currently screwing their lover into the bed." She said balefully. Zexion glared at her, as everyone else bit back amused laughter. Senayax looked further confused.

"Don't you need a screwdriver for that? Wouldn't it hurt?" Her nose wrinkled as she sunk deep into thought. Everyone paused, and stared at her. She blinked, mystified. "What? It would."

"Luv...I, I don't think this is the proper time to tell you about this." Luxord said, fighting the urge to bury his head in his hands. She shook her head.

"I just want to know if they're getting hurt. Should I go check--"

"_No." _The whole table said in unison. She sighed.

"Fine." She grumbled, huffing. She chewed on her apple while Zexion had a quick, hissed conversation with the others. Then, realizing they weren't looking, she grinned. Now was her time to escape and go tend to Xemnas.

She let the darkness swirl around her as quietly as possible. They didn't even notice.

--

Xemnas was breathing heavily, trying not to reopen the wound, but it seemed like he simply couldn't get enough oxygen. Saix was curled so close to him that he had practically molded himself to the contours of Xemnas' body, curled in the crook of his arm.

"Master..." Saix could only speak softly, voice choked with worry and pain as he nuzzled close to his master, shaking with fear. Xemnas smiled up at him.

"Saix, you really need not worry. I'll be all right soon. Please. You should eat." He said, stroking his pet's hair and teasing it between his fingers. Saix shook his head vehemently.

"Not when my master is in pain." He said, shifting so he was pressed tighter against Xemnas than he had been already. Xemnas sighed.

"You are horribly stubborn, aren't you?" He grumbled. Saix gave him a quick, wolfish grin.

"For someone who knows me better than anyone, master, you are asking a very foolish question." His beautiful diviner graced him with a rare smile. Xemnas managed a smile in return.

The darkness announcing the arrival of a Nobody swirled at the foot of the bed. Xemnas raised an eyebrow, already sure of who it was. Senayax stepped out of the darkness, and put her hands on her hips. "I've been waitin' for them to get distracted so I could come up here." She sighed, climbing on the bed. "Xemnas, lemme see." He shrugged the blanket down around his shoulder.

She looked at the bloodsoaked bandages quickly, with a calculating glance over the surface. Then she pressed her hand on the cut, delicately probing it under the bandages. Xemnas hissed, but didn't tell her to stop. She waited another instant before pulling away. "You can take the bandages off." She said flatly. Xemnas stared, as Saix got off the bed and unwrapped the bandages to reveal a small, pinkish welt. They both looked at her in shock. She smiled.

"Body." She said. "Xigbar has space, Saix has moon, Xaldin has wind, Zexion has illusion, Lexaeus has earth, Larxene has lightning, Axel has fire, Luxord has time, Xemnas has nothingness, Demyx has water, Marluxia has flowers, Roxas has light...an' I have body." She sucked her finger for a second. "Didn't know until I tried t'heal that wound Masamune gave me that I could heal stuff. I was wondering if it'd work for you." She grinned. "Makes sense though, otherwise I'd bleed t'death every time I tried to attack." Xemnas shook his head.

"You're certainly full of surprises, aren't you?" He said, flat-out stunned. She nodded.

"Yup. Now, I've healed you. But you need care. An' I'd rather Saix do it." She glared up at the berserker. "So he's gonna. Right?" She said, in a voice that demanded obedience. Saix nodded, both slightly in shock, and definitely confused. He sighed, and grasped Xemnas's hand. She grinned. "Good. I'mma get downstairs before someone comes looking! Love you!" She darted down the hall, and Saix could hear her feet thumping on the marble floor as she sprinted down the steps, giggling. He closed his eyes, and silently cursed her for leaving them alone right now.

Xemnas looked up at him, and Saix could feel a blush creeping into his cheeks. "M-master." He bowed slightly. "May I join you?" Xemnas raised an eyebrow.

"Certainly, Saix. But perhaps you should take your coat and boots off first." He said, tone obviously light and teasing--but Saix still shivered. He obeyed, however, and unzipped the coat, feeling the fabric pool at his feet. He blushed, remembering he hadn't worn anything _except _the pants and boots with the coat. He took the boots off, trying to hide his smolderingly red face. Xemnas had leaned back against the massive pile of pillows, watching him. Saix stood, and shivered again, nervous. Xemnas extended a hand, and Saix took it, as his master pulled him on the bed.

Xemnas said nothing for a time, simply stroking his hair. Saix listened to him breathe, cursing himself for being nervous. Why should he be nervous? His master had chosen him as a mate long ago. Saix closed his eyes, and let the memories flood him.

He had been wild, monstrous. Barely human. Yet...Xemnas had taken him in. Taught him how to be human, Nobody or otherwise. He had always been his master, even when Xemnas vehemently denied thus. Saix smiled.

* * *

"_Master, there's been reports of a Dusk herd in Traverse Town. Should I--" _

_"Don't call me master, Saix--this is perhaps the hundreth time I have said so, is it not?" _

_"...One hundred and seventeenth, master. I've been counting." _

He closed his eyes, burying himself into his master's chest, inhaling his slightly spiced, warm scent as he tried not to laugh. Xemnas merely huffed with amusement, and wrapped his arms around his waist.

_Saix watched his master pace throughout his office, glaring at both his paperwork and the medical chart on his desk. "Honestly, if it's not one thing, it's another. Axel needs to stop shooting fire at people if they jump out at him." He muttered. Saix had to grin._

_"In his defense, master, Xigbar did deserve that one." He reminded him, remembering how the Freeshooter had hung upside-down and dropped on Axel from the ceiling. It had been ingenious, but he'd forgotten Axel had a nasty left hook and a tendency to leave burns behind. Xemnas sighed heavily. _

_"For the two hundredth and sixteenth time--yes, now _I've _been counting, Saix--don't call me master." He said, as he toyed with his pet's hair, apparently deep in thought. Saix bowed his head, beginning to think as well._

_"Master, is there a reason you wish for me not to address you as such?" He asked politely. Xemnas turned to him, an odd glint in his golden eyes. _

_"Indeed." He purred. Saix tilted his head, curious. Then he felt his master's strong hands grasp his coat, and push him down onto_ _the desk. His master had pinned him to the desk, and he could barely move. Saix could only gasp, trying not to struggle so as not to shift into berserker state and hurt his master. _

_"M-master! Please...please, what did I do?" He pleaded. Xemnas sighed. _

_"You've done nothing, dearest." He said affectionately. Saix blinked._

_"Dearest?" He mouthed. Xemnas chuckled._

_"Yes. The reason I don't wish for you to call me master is thus." He leaned down, and..._

_Well, Saix wasn't exactly sure _what _he'd done. But his lips were against Saix's own, and it felt...strange. It was amazing, though--he could feel a spark dancing down his spine. He'd only felt this way whenever he had seen the moon. What was he doing to him? Xemnas pulled away from the odd contact, and smiled at him._

_"I doubt you would wish to be my pet, am I correct?" He said softly. Saix narrowed his eyes up at his master, managing a whuff of amusement in between his raging confusement and slight arousal for the first time in his life._

_"I'm afraid for once in your life, master, you are incorrect. I would wish for nothing else...apart from knowing what you just did." He said, slightly confused. Xemnas stared at him._

_"You've...never heard of kissing?" He asked. Saix stared back blankly. Xemnas sighed heavily--and then a wicked grin spread across his face._

_"Would you wish for your master to teach you, my pet?" He purred. Saix shivered in pleasure. He'd never heard Xemnas speak that way to him, but he _liked _it, very much so._

_It was then he made his decision. He wanted his master, and however his master saw fit to give himself to him. He knew he was truly his master's pet, now. And it was perfect._

_"Of course." He said softly._

_Xemnas wasted no time in locking the door, shoving a chair in front of it, and giving Saix his first primer on kissing._

_

* * *

  
_

He began to laugh, finally letting it out. It was just too amusing for him. Xemnas looked down at him, and raised an eyebrow at his pet's sudden burst of laughter. "Are you all right, my pet?" Saix nodded weakly, still laughing.

"Yes, my master. Just...thinking. About the first time you kissed me." He murmured softly. Xemnas nodded.

"I see." He paused. "Saix, you are aware you are quite beautiful, are you not?" He said gently. Saix blinked.

"I suppose you've told me, so I would assume I am." He said. Xemnas chuckled.

"You really are unaware, aren't you?" Saix looked up at him as Xemnas ran a hand down his back. Xemnas continued toying with his hair. "You don't understand. No one has ever made my mind and body crave them as much as you have. Everything about you is perfection." He purred. Saix felt a flush color his cheeks.

"Master, I...I..." Saix bowed his head, and he surprised himself by crying. Xemnas tilted his head up and looked at his pet, concerned and confused.

"Saix, is something the matter?" His master queried, grasping his hand. He could only nod, too ashamed to speak. Xemnas shouldered his weight on his lap better, so Saix could straddle him. He kept him supported so they could still look at each other while Saix sobbed. He brushed a bit of cobalt hair behind Saix's ears, kissing the strands. "Please tell me. You've been very uneasy for the past few days." He said with gentle concern. Saix nodded again, and took a deep, shuddering breath.

"Master...do you think we truly have feelings?" He whispered softly. Xemnas's eyes widened slightly. Seeing his reaction, Saix bit his lip. "I know what you have said many times in the past... That our only true way to existing is through Kingdom Hearts. I don't doubt that. But...but..." He shook his head. "Master, I want to say...I love you. I want to say it, and to feel it. I...I knew you would never say it back, and perhaps...you would never call me to your side again. I would surely fade if I was forsaken by you."

Xemnas could only stare at him. Saix shuddered. "I kept my silence. I never spoke about my feelings, real or otherwise. It...it was worth it. I would give up anything and everything for you. I would sacrifice everything. So it was the greatest sacrifice to keep silent, but I did it for you. Forgive me, but I can remain silent no longer." He inclined his head. "I love you, Xemnas." He whispered, his body feeling like it had been set on fire from within, his stomach rolling with nervous nausea as he watched his master.

Xemnas was silent, merely looking up at him.

Saix issued a soft sob. Almost as if it was without his consent, the darkness swirled around him and he was gone.

Xemnas could only stare blankly for a moment at the empty spot on his bed before it registered within him that his pet was gone. He bit back a scream, and shoved himself off of the bed, rushing to find his pet, his Saix...his lover.


	22. Giving Love

(Sorry about the short chapter--again, a lot of this was written just now. I had to do something about my pacing. Thankfully, my updates have returned to, (mostly), normal, ergo we're back on the train of updating! Also I'm working on Repo fics because the lack of Graverobber/Amber makes me sad. :(

ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS!!~~~ I LOVE YOU ALL~~~~~~ ^^

And 100k+ words, go self~ ^^

Anyhoodle, yup, aaaaaangst and more Xaldin, cause he's like cowbell; you can't get enough.

Yes, I'm sorry, I'll get off the stage.

Anyways, I am dedicating this chapter to the Underground in Platinum so I can have a few more Blue Shards to pimp out my Furret. ^^

Don't own KH blaaaaah you know the drill.)

* * *

Saix stared up at Kingdom Hearts. He had come to the Altar to pray, to beg forgiveness from the one that had never deserted him. She shone strongest here, where the night sky was not hidden from sight by walls or windows. "Mother..." He bowed, inclining his head to the symbol of his goddess, the beautiful moon. "Forgive me. Please forgive me...I know what I have done is wrong." He said bitterly. The moon glowed softly in response. Saix shuddered, kneeling before her light, praying for an answer. "Mother, please. Your son asks you, what should I do?"

He closed his eyes, and let the light of his mother-moon sink into his skin. He let out a soft breath. It filled him, rushed energy into his veins, left his mind untroubled and without fear. He gave a soft moan, letting the energy steal over him and make his senses not his own. He let the moon take over his body, just for a moment, just to plead with her. "Give me courage, mother. I need you to aid me and guide me always."

A warm glow came from within his body, blossoming out of his chest like a flower. He opened his eyes and looked up at his mother-moon. She seemed to extend her rays out to him to swathe him in her glow. He sent his gratitude back to her and prayed it reached her.

"Thank you, as always, for your aid, mother." He smiled, although it only lasted for a fleeting moment as he began to remember what had caused him to seek her for comfort in the first place. He heard darkness swirl behind him, and he turned around to see Axel. He sighed with relief. "Lea." He greeted his friend with a quick smile. Axel glared at him.

"You know, the Superior's pretty freaked right now. He's storming through the castle looking for you, and he seems really, really, _really _worried. Isa, for god's sake, what did you do?" He hissed. Saix sighed. He hadn't wanted to admit it to Axel, who he knew didn't approve of their relationship.

_Or hadn't. _His mind taunted him. He shook the traitorous thoughts away, and braced himself to explain.

"I told him I loved him." He murmured. The frown on Axel's face was replaced by a pleased feline smile.

"Really." He purred. "What, so you ran away like a blushing schoolgirl?" He said, smirking at the thought. Saix shook his head, his shoulders shuddering with every choked-back sob of misery. Axel paused, suddenly reading his friend's expression and getting serious. "Hey, Isa? What happened?" Saix shuddered, and moaned with pain.

"He didn't say it back, Lea. He...he just..." He finally let himself cry. "Lea, he...I...I gave everything I am to him..." He howled softly, letting all the reactions he'd walled off finally hit him. Axel nodded, and knelt beside his friend. He ran a hand down his back, pulling him into a hug. He buried his other hand into his friend's hair, trying to hold him as close as possible while he wept. Saix's clawed hands dug into his back and pricked his skin, but Axel paid it no mind.

"Isa, this is bossman we're talking about here." He reminded him. "He's the first and foremost one of us who won't stop bitching about our lack of hearts." He growled disdainfully. Saix nodded.

"But...I know what I feel. Lea, I don't _care _if it isn't feelings! I _do _love him!" He blinked back more tears. "It's obvious he doesn't feel the same, though." He said, voice thick with pain. Axel blinked, considering something. He finally realized what his friend intended to do. It sickened him, but he knew he wouldn't be able to discourage him from what he was planning.

"You're going to leave, aren't you, Isa." Axel said. It wasn't a question, simply a statement. Saix nodded.

"I must...clear my head, Lea. Please, if you see him...tell him I understand." Saix smiled. "Tell him it's okay." Axel could only nod as a Corridor took Saix, disappearing along with his friend within an instant. Then he slammed his fists against the wall.

"Shit, Xemnas." He muttered. "I hope you know you fucked up big-time."

---

_I fucked up big-time. _Xemnas groaned, allowing himself a bit of crude language.

He shook his head. Good god, Saix. His glorious diviner. He wanted Saix, craved his touch, his taste. He needed to feel Saix, needed to be with him. He paused, and sighed in disgust as he ran his fingers through his hair. Damn it, he'd admit it to himself at least, he wanted to be _inside _his diviner, to assure Saix he would never leave him, that he had truly claimed him as his own.

"He's gone." Xemnas turned around to see Axel, eyes narrowed in anger. "You drove him away." He spat. Under any other circumstances, Xemnas would have strangled him for that--but he knew Axel had been friends with his Saix, before they had lost their--

No. He shook his head. He wouldn't let himself muse about their hearts. Not now. But he remembered what Saix meant to Axel, and so he kept silent. Axel continued.

"Now, you could let him leave. You could lose him forever, and perhaps keep your pride intact. Or, on the other hand, you could go and find him, tear up every last corner of every single world and beg his forgiveness, all just to see him again. You'd lose your pride, and your faith in our nonexistence, but..." He gave his Superior a wicked grin.

"You'd have him back."

Xemnas immediately disappeared into a Corridor without a word. Axel snorted.

"Good on him," he muttered, going to break the news to everyone, "he went faster than I thought he would. Pity," he remarked wistfully, "I'd have liked to get to stab him with Eternal, just once." He disappeared with a small swish of his coat into the lounge, still chuckling about the mental image.

* * *

Everyone was lounging around, simply enjoying the rest of the night before Axel stormed in. However, Zexion had his own worries.

"We are not having a tea party. I absolutely refuse." Zexion said through clenched teeth. The entire time he and Senayax had sat in the lounge together, she'd pestered him about her idea for a tea party, hoping it would catch on. Needless to say, it hadn't. Senayax looked up pitifully at him, lips in a tiny pout.

"P-please? Pretty please? Pleeease?" She said, widening her eyes in an attempt to shoot for cuteness. He groaned. It was almost painfully hard to resist. But resist he would.

"For god's sake, do we look like we could be good guests at a tea party?" He said. She groaned mentally, knowing he had a point. Fine. She was going to bring out the big guns.

She gave a sniffle, and rubbed her eyes. "It's okay...I...understand..." She said pitifully, giving another sniff for emphasis. He rolled his eyes.

"Not fooling me, kiddo." He said with obvious amusement. She pouted, and nuzzled his shoulder.

"Dammit." She grumbled, but a smile had already formed. He laughed, and the two sat on the couch, Senayax yawning and laying her head in his lap. "How much longer are we gonna be up? If Xemnas doesn't come down, I don't wanna sleep, but..." She mumbled, before trailing off and closing her eyes.

"Xemnas is gone." Everyone turned to look at Axel, standing in the doorway and tapping Eternal Flames against his hip. Senayax blinked, pulling herself up to stare at him.

"Why?" She said, confused. Everyone else appeared to share her sentiments, and Axel knew it would hurt him to explain, but he figured it was his job. He sighed.

"Because Saix told him that he loved him, and the idiot rejected him. He's probably tearing up all the worlds right now looking for him." He muttered venomously. Everyone stared at Axel--the truth of the matter had shocked them further than Xemnas actually leaving.

"You're...joking." Vexen said. "I thought...Xemnas knew, that Saix..." He trailed off, stunned. Axel snorted.

"Xemnas, for all his brilliance, is as stubborn as a goddamn mule. He believes we lack hearts, therefore Saix cannot love him. So he honestly didn't know." He said. "Believe me, I am totally just as shocked as you all are." Everyone paused, shaking their heads in bemusement.

"Wow. _Idiot_." Xigbar grumbled. "So, do we go after him?" He said in amused frustration and disgust. Axel shook his head.

"Honestly? I wouldn't. This is up to Xemnas now. Xigbar, you're second in command after both of them--can you handle missions?" He addressed his elder, actually inclining his head in a show of respect. Xigbar nodded, sighing heavily.

"Right. We should really get some sleep, then. I'll try to keep this place going, but..." He closed his eyes. "Fuck, what if they don't come back?" He muttered darkly. Xaldin closed his eyes, and shook his head. Xemnas was determined to bring Saix back, and he'd fight through all the worlds to bring him back to the castle. It wasn't them coming home that was worrying him, it was if they'd come home _safe._

"They will, Xigbar. I don't doubt that. Just let them work it out." He said calmly, ignoring his inner turmoil. Xigbar groaned.

"Right, but now _I _have to be in charge. They could hurry up working it out!" He huffed, as Xaldin and Demyx both laughed, Demyx ruffling his hair affectionately as Xigbar growled in amusement. Zexion promptly picked up Senayax, the young girl giving a squawk of sudden protest.

"Bed, you." He said with mock sterness. She groaned, but nodded. The both of them disappeared together, leaving the rest behind in the lounge. The others glanced at each other, then at Larxene and Lexaeus--and all of the other members disappeared quickly, as if in consensus...leaving Larxene and Lexaeus behind. Lexaeus looked at her. She stared back without blinking. He smiled.

"Would you join me in the lab?" He said, bowing slightly. She shrugged.

"I guess, yeah. I should...I have to talk to Marluxia first. I'll be down as soon as I can, all right?" She said, a small shiver passing through her body. He nodded--he'd observed it, but now was not the time to press the matter.

"I understand, Larxene." He said. He smiled at her again--this time she smiled back as they both disappeared.

* * *

Roxas had already gotten dressed for bed, and was waiting under the blankets for Axel. His lover stormed in, worry-lines etched into his face. Roxas sat up in bed. "Hey, Axel." He murmured. "Do you need to talk?" The redhead kicked his shoes off, unzipped his jacket, and climbed into bed, pulling Roxas close. He smiled weakly.

"Yeah, Roxy-bang. I do." He replied, sitting up against the headboard. "I just..." Axel sighed. "Isa-puppy was and is my best friend. Christ, since we were little kids...we always had each other." He groaned.

"Isa may have been sensible--sensible enough to keep me out of trouble, at least--but he...Roxas, he devotes himself to a person completely." Axel managed a small smile. "It's why he's stuck by me. I'm not exactly the easiest person to get along with." He drawled. Roxas smiled at him. Axel shook his head, tugging on a strand of crimson hair that had fallen in his face.

"But the thing is, Isa-puppy met Xemnas...and..." Axel sighed. "He fell _hard. _Isa has always been a hopeless romantic at heart, and Xemnas is the sort of man he always wanted--strong, regal, all that jazz." Axel snarled. "I warned him. Believe me, Roxy-bang, all I did was tell Isa it was a bad, bad idea. Xemnas really doesn't think we even have any emotion at all...but Isa just didn't care." Roxas watched Axel with a look of concern on his face.

His lover had started to make the air around him shimmer, and Roxas could see little embers glowing around his eyelashes. He winced. "Axel, he was in love. What did you think you were going to do? All he wanted was to make Xemnas happy..." Axel shook his head.

"That's my point! He put Xemnas above himself! That's all he ever does! Xemnas could tear him apart and Isa would follow him off the edge of the universe anyway! He's going to get hurt! He's my best friend!" Axel snapped. "He's been mine since we were little kids! Xemnas has no right to take him!" Roxas sighed.

"And you don't have a right to own him, Axel. He might be your best friend, but you can't control him. You're starting to sound like you're just pissed at Xemnas because he took Saix from you." Roxas said. Axel snorted in disgust.

"I'm pissed at Xemnas because he broke my Isa. He didn't give up a single thing for Isa, Rox. Isa gave up all he was...he gave up his heart to follow them, he has done nothing but devote himself unquestioningly to Xemnas...and Xemnas has never done a single thing in return. All Isa does is give; all Xemnas does is take. And as his friend...it hurts to watch." Axel said quietly. Roxas' eyes widened, realizing Axel's real problem. He took his lover in his arms, kissing him gently. His lips were warm, a sweet sort of heat running through Roxas' body as he kept kissing him.

"Axel...I'm sorry." Roxas murmured. "I thought you meant...you just wanted to possess him, is all." Axel smiled weakly.

"Nah, it's fine, Roxas. I know it sounded like that...but..." Axel leaned his head against his knees as he pulled them close against his chest. "I just wonder if anything's going to change. If Xemnas comes back with Isa and the same routine starts up again..." Roxas shook his head, cutting him off.

"No, Axel. Xemnas already went to find him...and from a man who absolutely refused to acknowledge he could even feel _pain _until he fought with Xaldin, that had to take a lot." Roxas sighed. "Xemnas doesn't know how to give something like that. But I think that with this..." Roxas sighed again, but a small smile reached his lips. "I think Xemnas has started to learn what he needs to give to Saix." Axel snorted.

"And what do you think he needed to learn to give, Roxas, that he didn't know before?" He replied bitterly. Roxas smiled.

"A safe haven." He paused. "A real one." He cuddled himself into Axel's chest, and without hesitation, Axel wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. Roxas smiled. "Like this, see? This...this is heaven." He yawned. "And...that's what Xemnas has to learn. How to give Saix a haven, somewhere that Saix can know he's loved." He closed his eyes, leaning his head against Axel's chest. "Xemnas...needs to learn how to open his arms and bring Saix into heaven..." With that, Roxas fell asleep. Axel snorted softly with amusement.

"Yeah, Roxas." Axel murmured, leaning back against the bed and closing his eyes. "I guess he does."

* * *

Luxord laid out a few of his cards on the bed he shared with Xaldin, flipping them over and figuring out little patterns to his questions. Xaldin was standing

at the window, head tilted back and hair undone, the midnight-colored curtain spilling over his shoulders. Luxord watched him for awhile, letting his lover have his thoughts to himself. Then, after the silence had begun to worry him, Luxord spoke up.

"You're worried, aren't you?" He asked. It was barely a question, but Xaldin nodded anyway.

"Xeh..." He sighed. "I know him too well, Luxord. I really do." Luxord needed no further encouragement, and sat up in bed, coaxing Xaldin in to sit beside him. Xaldin sat down with a sigh of relief, burying his face into Luxord's neck. It took a minute for him to think of how to tell his lover, but eventually, he began to voice his concerns.

"Xemnas is...well, he was never exactly _emotional _when we were kids...he was a drama queen, sure, but it wasn't like he was ever a romantic or anything..." Xaldin smirked. "And that says a lot, considering about half of Radiant Garden was willing to throw themselves at his feet. Actually, Axel and Saix lived there too, only as far as I know, they never did idolize him like that. And certainly by now Axel's ready to tear Xemnas' spine out and flog him with it." Luxord snorted. Xaldin sighed, chewing his lip in thought.

"But...I don't think he has any clue about what he needs to do to keep someone close to him. It was different with us--we were a family, we stuck together, and we all drew our strength from each other. As I suppose we do now." He mused. "But Xeh never had to deal with romance. Not ever. And then he found Saix, and the two seemed to _mesh. _If it had been any other set of circumstances...if they had come together as whole human beings instead of Nobodies...perhaps this wouldn't have happened. But that's not what did happen, so we need to face what did." Xaldin sighed.

"Xemnas doesn't know how to tell Saix how much he means to him. Not because of a heart--or lack thereof, I suppose, but because he's never had to give anyone his love. We all just knew it was there...but Saix _doesn't _know. And Xemnas doesn't know how to give it to him." He sighed. Luxord groaned.

"Is this gonna end well, dear? Or are we in for one hell of a maelstrom?" He asked, yanking the blankets up and bunching them around the two of them. Xaldin sighed.

"I don't know." He murmured. "But I hope for both their sakes that it does."

Neither of them could sleep after that discussion, so all they had left was to hold tight to each other and watch the moon.


	23. Healing

(Okay, as a survivor of sexual assault myself, just letting you know in advance--trigger warning. If that would bring up something that could hurt you mentally, skip over like, most of this chapter. Just go to the fluff at the bottom, okay? I don't want anyone to relieve trauma because of this.

Next, nothing much new except for haha I suppose you have to wait a bit more to find out what happened to Saix and Xemnas, because I'm a jerk. But hey, LarxLex. ^^

This chapter is dedicated to my grandmother, because she's the reason this update is late. I had her birthday party. ^^ You'll never read this, (thank god), but I love you, grandma~)

* * *

Larxene hadn't conferred with anyone about Saix or Xemnas. She was suffering her own torment right now, and the fact was, that alone was enough to tear her to pieces.

Her mind was a jumble of faces, hands, hands going where they had _no right, _and fingers. Always jittering, twitching, fumbling inside her, getting replaced by something hotter and rougher and crueler.

Mouths...she could hear tongues wagging, speaking of her in hushed tones. Whether the speaker was male or female, it never seemed to matter--it all boiled down to the same thing, the same word, the same judgement.

_That word. _The word that had been her own scarlet letter, the reason she'd run right to him--his mouth had been kind.

At first.

His hands had held her down--his mouth had kept her silent--his fingers, replaced by--

_Fucking hold still, Relane!_

Then another voice broke through.

_Larxene, I swear upon my honor as an Apprentice to Ansem the Wise and a member of his guard, I will protect you until I can no longer stand the blows of your enemies. _

She stood stock-still, trying to place that voice. She knew who it was. She _did. _But other men--other mouths, fingers, hands, tongues--they were breaking through and she was trying desperately to remember who it was.

_**Lexaeus. **_

It was like a wave of strength had flooded her suddenly. She shivered with the feeling, realizing she had been standing still the entire time. She had to get to her room, had to get changed, had to go see Marluxia, because she needed someone safe, someone who wouldn't hurt her. Someone she could trust. Someone she could tell.

She headed straight into the darkness and arrived in her room within an instant.

Larxene yanked on a pair of black silk pajamas, and stormed up to Marluxia's room. Like always, he seemed to know when she was coming--the door opened before she even reached it. He smiled at her. "Y'okay, babe?" He said, already reaching to pull her in. She shook her head.

"No." She whispered. He sensed that there was something under those words, something...raw. He pulled her inside without another word. Vexen looked up from Marluxia's bed. (Theirs to share, now.) He raised an eyebrow at the sudden intrusion.

"Are you all right?" He said. He'd known the two often shared a room, but she'd stayed out for the past few nights, assuming (correctly), that they were having sex. She shook her head, still unable to speak eloquently--or really at all. Vexen looked up at Marluxia. "Hon, should I let you two talk it out?" He said, sudden warmth showing through. Marluxia looked at Larxene. She shook her head, after she got over her shock at Vexen's tenderness.

"It...it's fine. I need all the company I can get right now. Also, I have to give the obligatory 'break his heart, nonexistent or otherwise, and I will break every bone in your body' speech." She grumbled, slightly amused. Vexen snorted. Marluxia rummaged through the freezer, and tossed her favorite ice cream at her. She snagged the strawberry-chocolate swirl, and poked it with a spoon.

"Lexaeus...he's...I...I think I like him. Sort of. I don't know. It's just..." She sighed, putting the ice cream down on the nightstand. "We all have reasons we became Nobodies, don't we? In some way, we all lost our hearts to the darkness. Through some sin, we gave into it." She sighed.

"I killed my boyfriend."

The two of them stared at her. She sighed. "He...he was..." She nudged her hips forward slightly. Her voice was gone, and she couldn't say the word. It was like her throat had closed up. But it clicked in both of their heads.

"Oh, hun." Marluxia said softly. One of his plants actually bent towards her, grazing its' silky petals against her hand. She nodded, running a hand through her hair, lost in memory.

"Ahuh. I lived my life to the fullest. The drunken, promiscious fullest. Then I thought I'd settle down. He was so nice at the start." She sighed. "He was cute--name was Morcutio. He wanted to be an architect--we moved to a city. Forget its' name. Doesn't matter. He was all I had, really. Only child, dad had given me up as a sinful harlot, mother had dementia. So he could do whatever he wanted to me." She sighed again, shaking her head in dark amusement.

"Should never have let myself rely on anyone. Mistake number one." She said dryly, leaning back on the bed.

--

Lexaeus sighed, unsure of what to do. Larxene had been taking a long time to meet him, and he was beginning to worry. He knew Marluxia and Vexen shared a room, and Larxene adored Marluxia.

If he went up there, he might be able to get some information from either of them. He figured it was worth a shot, and the hero climbed the steps. It only took a minute to reach the door, but before he opened it, he heard her inside. It was Larxene--and he'd heard her, heard the small hitching sob in her voice. His eyes widened, and he slumped against the wall. He kept quiet and continued to listen.

--

She bit her lip. "So, he made a lot of money designing these stupid buildings. Man, you have no idea how bad they looked. They were _cutting-edge! _My fat butt they were." She grumbled, trying to make herself laugh. She managed a small smirk, but sighed, realizing it was no good, and continuing on.

"He got me whatever I wanted, and then some. I thought it was perfect. In fact, he had asked me to marry him--and I'd said yes." She said bitterly. "Mistake number two." She muttered softly, shaking her head in disgust. Marluxia held out his arms, and she curled close. He hugged her tightly, and thanked whoever was listening that she loved him enough not to fear his closeness.

She continued. "So, like...it was perfect. And then...one night, I was tired. I had cleaned that giant goddam mansion the whole day, and I didn't want sex." She closed her eyes, and shrugged her shoulders, dismissing the thought even as she continued. "That was the first time he hit me. He was apologizing for it, and blaming me at the same time." She laughed darkly.

"_Oh, Relane, I don't want to hurt you, but you know you're going to be my wife! So you have to listen to me when I ask for something!" _She mimicked his voice, making little flapping motions with her hands. The rawness under the surface was coming a little closer.

Marluxia hugged her tighter in response. She hugged back. "Thanks, Marly." She whispered, trying to choke down tears. He nodded, and let her continue. "Anyways, I blamed myself. Because after all, he bought me all these nice things. I had a house, and food, and clothing. I was lucky compared to some other women, he said, the whores selling themselves on the streets or the starving children in Agrabah or some shit. I...I felt the same way, that I was worthless, just a whiner." She said disdainfully.

"Because of all he said, I thought my problems were small, inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. A small part of me still thought 'shit that's crazy, get out now, idiot', but I didn't listen. Because we were gonna get _married." _She started to laugh, but choked on a sob.

"So, like...the first time...he, well, so he came home from work, and it turns out his plan had been rejected. He...he was so angry. I was terrified, tried to hide, couldn't find a place to do it. He saw me backing up against the wall, and he must've thought that I was rejecting him too. Which I was." She started to laugh, but the tears running down her cheeks in clear little rivers betrayed how she felt.

She knew even as she laughed that she wouldn't be able to keep up the charade for much longer. But she held on to her laughter, no matter how out of place it seemed, because it kept her from remembering the silence.

There hadn't been any shouting. Just a pregnant pause between them while he'd paced around her like an agitated dog.

Then he'd pounced.

She gasped and clutched herself tightly, wrapping her arms around herself for defense. "_Fucking hold still, Relane!" _She suddenly screamed, lightning racing over her chest. Her knives had appeared in her hands, and she was digging them into her palms and drawing blood.

Her eyes went to some distant place within her, and Marluxia grabbed her tightly, trying to soothe her and make sure she wouldn't start trying to claw at herself again. He was breathing heavily as she snarled, but he didn't show any fear. All the fight went out of her after a moment, and she wilted in his arms.

"I listened. I was the good little wife, and I _fucking listened." _She spat, still trying to laugh. "Ah, shit, it was about as great as any of his other fucks. But...it hurt more this time. The shame, the resignment, the utter complicity..." She shuddered, choking down her gag reflex. Vexen, however cautiously, had come to offer her comfort as well, taking her hand. She squeezed it tightly, and he winced at the sudden pain, but didn't pull away. Marluxia smiled at him gratefully.

She hugged Marluxia tightly, shaking her head. "He wouldn't stop. I didn't know...what to say. I couldn't scream. I knew I should have, but I didn't...scream. I didn't think anyone would believe me." She said softly.

She closed her eyes, obviously in pain. "Maybe if I'd said something, it'd have been different. But...I was looked down on by most of his colleague's wives anyways. I was a trophy wife, a slut in it for the money. The shit they would have levelled against me would have been fierce." She shook her head.

"Couldn't do it. Couldn't go through the procedures, the court, the disbelief, the sneers and outright denial." She bowed her head, her shame weighing her down as she shook with pain. "I...I let him do it again. Twice." Finally, her lament finished, she let herself cry.

--

Lexaeus was shaking, debating whether or not to storm in there, take her into his arms, and swear upon all that he was that he would _destroy _anyone who ever raised a hand against her again. He didn't want to let her know he'd been listening, but...he needed to do it. _Needed. _

But he closed his eyes and stayed strong. He would listen. And then, once her dirge had played out, he would gather her into his arms and let her cry all she needed to.

--

Marluxia was silent, stroking her hair. She was quiet when she cried, he mused. He could only let himself be a comfort as she tried to muster up the courage to continue. "He tried to do it again, one night. I...I'd had enough, I know, I just...I hated him. I nursed that hate, and I could feel it...inside me, eating me alive. He came close, and I stabbed him. Over and over. I didn't stop until his chest was more knife wound than actual skin." She snorted.

"Then when I ran...the darkness ate me alive. I became this." She shrugged. "And frankly, I don't want to go back to how I lived before. Nobody or not...I like it here." She sighed, slightly amused now. "Sorry I couldn't tell you before. I just...attraction never came up. I love you, Marly, but you're, well, a fruit. Everyone else is either terrified of me or a twelve-year-old kid who hero worships me, and I've never been into pedophilia or hatesex." She remarked dryly. Marluxia snorted.

"Nice. In all seriousness, Larxene...just try talking to him. If you like him, say so--just...don't worry. You're not alone, and we'll believe you." He said softly, kissing the top of her head. She looked at him, and the grateful adoration in her eyes spoke volumes. She hugged him tightly.

"Love you, Marly." She whispered. He kissed her forehead.

"Love you too, Larly. Go to him, okay?" He said. She nodded, and turned back to Vexen on her way out the door.

"Also, the obligatory speech." She said, holding one finger up and inhaling dramatically, enjoying every second. "I swear to god, ice queen, I will tear you open, hang you by your intestines, tear your organs out from the stomach up, and then choke you to death on your own cock if you break his heart. Try me." Her grin was two parts utterly feral and one part thoroughly amused. Vexen shuddered.

"Duly noted, Larxene." He muttered. She snorted in amusement before kissing them both and disappearing.

--

Lexaeus was pacing the floor of the lab, swearing in frustration. He had waited, waited for her, and she had been crying, and he had said nothing, and he would _never _stay silent when it came to her _again--_

"Lexaeus? Are you all right?" Her voice reached his ears. Her beautiful voice, the one that he had heard thick with pain and fear only moments before. He turned to see her in the doorway, standing as if she was unsure of her welcome. She was so small, he noted, compared to his own bulk. He bowed his head.

"I cannot be all right. You are hurting." He said flatly. She blinked, suddenly realizing what he meant.

"You...you..." She sighed. "So you heard." She bowed her head. "Yeah, so I was a slut. Go ahead, spit on me. Loathe me. Whatever, just--" She was suddenly cut off as Lexaeus pulled her close to him. She shivered, but relaxed into the hug after a minute.

_"Never._ Larxene..." He was quiet, just relishing her name on his lips. "Larxene...Larxene, listen to me." She looked up at him as he brushed a strand of hair back from her forehead delicately. "I promise you right now, if anyone so much as speaks a harsh word against you for your actions then, I will not stand for it. I will protect you. I am so sorry, Larxene...for everything that has happened to you. If you let me in, I swear I will protect you with everything I am." He said quietly. She snorted.

"I can...I can take care of myself." She murmured. Lexaeus managed a chuckle.

"I know. You did, for so long, didn't you? You're so brave, Larxene. Truly. You are as strong as any one of us." He said. She looked up at him, testing his words. There was nothing but simple truth in his eyes, and she knew he meant it. She cursed herself as tears pricked her eyes again. Lexaeus brought her closer and began to stroke her hair, gently running his hands down her back and kissing the top of her head.

"You don't have to keep fighting. It's over. You're safe. I promise." He said, pulling her as close to him as he could. She nodded, unable to speak. He kissed the top of her head. "You really should be sleeping." He admonished her. She shook her head.

"Don't...want to sleep alone tonight. It's fine, I'll go bother Axel--" She said, already trying to leave. Lexaeus could not, _would not, _allow her to think he didn't want her. He picked her up, and without a single word, carried her up the spiral staircase, down the hallway, and opened the door to his room.

Books lined the walls, and a table completely covered with notes and sketches took up one corner of the room. The bed was neat--in fact, the whole room was very subtly organized. It was simple, but the whole sort of 'organized clutter' thing made Larxene feel much better. He laid her down on the bed, making sure she was settled before turning to pull up a chair. She sat up in bed and glared at him. "Like hell you're giving up your bed. It's a damn big one, we can both fit." She snapped, moving over to make room. Lexaeus raised an eyebrow.

"You would willingly do so?" He said with obvious surprise. She growled.

"Yes. Shut up, and get in the bed before I _push _you in." She threatened him, trying to hide a small smile as she did. Lexaeus laughed, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You really are an amazing puzzle, my little nymph. I consider it a privliedge of mine to be able to piece you together." He said softly. She looked up at him and managed a dry smile.

"Metaphors aside, get into bed. It's late." She muttered wryly. She waited for him to lie down before snuggling close. He said nothing, just held her tighter against him. "Night, Lexy." She murmured huskily. He kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight, Larxene."


	24. Closure

(A gift to you, my ever-loyal readers! To keep up with the bits of "oh and this happened and blah", one of which is too /there/ to ignore in this chapter, I shall be publishing the first chapter of the ficlet collection later today! It's not finished though, so I'm warning you now--updates may get sporadic. However, thankfully, I think less of this fic will need to be padded out and rewritten. Thank god.

So yes, it's totally cool if you want to throttle me right now. I don't blame you at all. ^^

This chapter is dedicated towards all the awesome people I know and love. If you're reading this, you're most likely one of them. ^^

Don't own KH and so it goes, yeaaaah.)

* * *

The night shifted. And Larxene dreamed.

Only one man stood in her dreams that night. One man out of many. The last one that had haunted her. The last one that had hurt her.

"Morcutio." She murmured, standing on the edge of her dreamscape. He didn't move. His expression didn't change, either. His hair was as neatly coiffed as it always was; his suit and tie were impeccable.

But the stab wounds reminded her he was dead, truly dead. This was a dream. She focused on the knife wounds, the little circles of blood down the front of his waistcoat.

"Relane." He greeted her cordially, with that same flat smile he always had given her. She simply watched him. Then he kicked a bit of earth with his foot, scuffing the dirt on the land of the dreamscape with his shoe. The movement was jerky, almost mechanical. Then he looked back up at her.

"You're my wife, Relane." He sighed, an indulgent smile on his lips. "I knew you were a slut, Relane, but I really thought I'd changed a bit of that. And I thought you at least had a bit of womanly grace to abstain after my untimely end." He shook his head, chuckling quietly. There was no amusement in his tone, just contempt. Larxene snarled.

"You can just shut the hell up." Her temper had flared, and she had let her pain out. It was starting to leave her body, memory by memory. "I'm not your wife." She spat at his feet. "You're nothing. You were a part of my life, and I cut you out." She smirked. "Or open, as the case may be."

He continued to watch her, a small twitch of his lip his only sign of rage. She knew the rage was there. It had been proven over and over, it had told her--

_Fucking hold still, Relane!_

--But it didn't stop her. She wasn't going to keep still. She wasn't going to stay silent.

"No more. I'm not Relane. She died a good death, with your blood on her hands. But I'm _Larxene._ You never hurt Larxene. You never made Larxene hold still. And you don't own her." She said quietly. "Relane is gone, and she took you with her."

"Then who owns you?" The dream-Morcutio snapped. "Who keeps a leash on your lecherous body, _Larxene?" _He snorted. "You were nothing but a drunken harlot. Face it, you were nothing before you met me--before I _broke you." _He turned to her, and she could see his whole face, filled with that rage, that silent hold-still rage. "_I made you who you are." _

Larxene paused. Those words hurt, more than the others had. But she wasn't going to let them cut out her tongue.

"No. No, you didn't. You shattered who I _was. _But you didn't make me anew. I picked up those pieces without your help, without anyone else's help. I made myself who I am with what I had. You never had my life, you never had my soul, and you never had my body. It was all mine. I made me." She replied, feeling her own words stir her. He rolled his eyes.

"You don't have a heart, idiot wretch." He snapped. She shrugged.

"I don't need it. I fucked up." She said. "I admit it. I gave into the darkness. But so what?" She shot back. "I don't need a heart! All I need is the strength to move on! And I may not have a heart, but I know damn well I have that!" Her whole body felt so wonderfully, powerfully _alive _in that moment. Below her, she felt the earth trembling.

There was something stirring inside her now. "Yeah, damn right I do! I gave my heart to you! Fuckin' _keep it!" _She screamed. "It was filthy, rotten, too far-gone! I don't want it and I don't need it!" She clasped a hand over her chest. "I'll make a new one." She murmured. "I won't fuck up this time." She faced him, really faced him for the first time she could remember.

"You can keep my heart. It's rotten." She said shortly. "It isn't worth a promise. It isn't worthy of me anymore. Why should I settle for a heart that settled for _you?" _She snarled, smirking at him with disgust in her eyes.

"I'll make a new one, one that's...smarter." She laughed. "One that knows when to hold still...and when to move on."

She walked away, not looking back. She had nothing more to say to him. She wanted nothing more to do with her past.

The dreamscape shifted under her feet. She could feel something under her, holding her steady as she kept walking. She laughed quietly. "Thank you." She murmured. Then it was as if her mind opened itself up, filling her with something wonderfully unexplainable.

_I made a promise._

* * *

The two of them woke up smiling, and, as if they'd been lovers forever, neither needed to explain why.

* * *

Within the endless night of another world, another Nobody stirred.

Halloweentown was abuzz with celebration; another Halloween was being planned in the town hall, and all the inhabitants were throwing out ideas to their Pumpkin King, joy shining in their eyes as they described ways to drape intestines properly across the torches lining the hallways.

Saix sighed, watching the ceremonies from above, within the cemetery, upon the mountain. The mountain held too many memories for him to be truly comfortable there, but he couldn't deny it was quiet. Peaceful. Honestly, once you got past the residents of the main town, it was almost silent, very few venturing out of their endless Halloween party. Saix chuckled. Then he closed his eyes and tilted his head up towards the large moon.

That was another reason he'd come, he mused. The moon was huge and at a constant full here, probably to add to this place's 'creepy charm'. He managed a small smile. Xemnas or not, he'd have the full moon.

-

Xemnas had disappeared into the darkness before realizing he didn't know where his darling diviner was. He swore as he kept moving, determined to find him. He wasn't going to go back until he had found his Saix. _His_ Saix, his and no other's. If he'd found his way into someone else's unsavory arms, heaven forbid, he'd kill them. He'd kill _anyone _who laid a hand on Saix.

Xemnas snarled as he stormed through the darkness, screaming his lover's name. "SAIX!" He didn't respond. No world gave him an answering hum in response to his name. Xemnas was starting to wonder, but he forced all the doubtful thoughts out of his mind. "Saix!" He yelled, slightly quieter. The darkness had started to sink into his skin, and it hurt to breathe.

"Saix...please..." He murmured. "Saix, I need you..."

He watched the darkness swirl around him, and forced himself to move forward.

* * *

Even as the leader of the Organization traversed the darkness, so too did the heroes of the light.

Kairi tilted her head back, watching Riku and the king slice apart some Heartless. She sighed. Her own Keyblade sat in her hands, a quiet comfort reminding her she was not alone. Even in this darkness, she knew she had something to count on--her own strength.

She struck down another Heartless as she closed her eyes to listen to something. She could hear someone deeper in...lost in the darkness. Without a second thought, she plunged straight in to help.

Kairi walked through the swirling infinity, focused only on the person she could hear deeper in. "Hello?" She called. "Hello?"

The man looked up, and she tensed. "Ansem!" She gripped her Keyblade and prepared to strike--but then the man laughed wryly.

"Close. But not close enough, little Knight." He said quietly. He shook out his hair, and Kairi noted the differences as she observed him quickly. His hair was free around his face, and his face was...more open, less cruel. But now, it seemed to be ravaged by something that screamed of desperation. "My name is Xemnas." He said quietly. She nodded.

"My name's Kairi. Come on, you can't stay here. Come with me, okay? I guess I could lead you back. I just...wish I knew where back was." She sighed, staring up at the infinite expanse of darkness. Xemnas managed a small laugh.

"I know this darkness better than you, little Knight. I am quite confident in that." He closed his eyes. "However, it is not the darkness I seek. It is...the moon, rather." He said, struggling to stand properly. Kairi tilted her head, slightly confused.

"Um, why the moon?" She said, puzzled. Xemnas's demeanor changed, and Kairi watched with mild amusement as a faint blush colored his cheeks. Seeing her amusement, he tried to keep his composure as he sighed heavily.

"Not the moon itself, but rather, its' diviner. I have lost...the only man I've ever cared for. I need to find him." He said, his confidence returning. Kairi looked at her Keyblade thoughtfully.

"Huh. I think I could help. Just...what's his name?" She said, feeling her Keyblade hum in her hands as she prepared for her task. Xemnas sighed in relief that she had accepted it so readily.

"Saix. His name, once, was Isa." He said, pain throbbing through him as he said his lover's name. He shook it off as she watched him, subconsciously rejecting her concern. He looked at her and said, "I'm fine, little Knight." She nodded, and held the Keyblade straight up within the darkness.

"Saix. Wherever you are, whatever world you roam within, let that world open its' doors to the one who seeks you." She commanded, as the Keyblade began to glow a pale shade of violet before it surrounded them both. Kairi pointed at the small, swirling orb of light that had appeared.

"Sort of like a Corridor of Darkness, but not. Just...you'll find him. Good luck, Xemnas." She said, smiling at him. Xemnas nodded, and regarded her with obvious respect as she visibly brightened.

"Thank you, Kairi." He turned and vanished into the light, giving her a small smile as he did. Kairi grinned to herself, hearing Riku call her name.

"Coming!" She yelled, sprinting off towards the sound of his voice. She shook her head and murmured, "Good luck, Xemnas."

* * *

Saix had sat on the mountain for hours now. It curled underneath his feet like a spiral, making him feel like he was close to falling. He shuddered, cold biting into his skin with an almost physical pain. Snow was falling, and he knew he should move...that the cold might be his last feeling before fading into the darkness.

But the moon was shining off the snow, and the glow made him feel better, like he wasn't without his master for the first time in his nonexistence. Made him feel like he was...loved. He stared up at the moon. _I'm so sorry. _He thought, sinking deeper into the snow. _I loved him more than I loved you._

_I still do._

--

Xemnas observed the residents of Halloweentown with mild distaste. This had been a wonderful place for the Heartless to fester. But it was still mildly unsettling, even to him. He breezed past the malformed half-human wrecks and looked up at the moon. Its' full, pregnant belly lay over him, leering and swollen. It pressed down on him and made him want to scream. However, he knew it was his last clue to finding Saix, no matter how seethingly malignant he found its' appearance. Where it shone brightest, Saix would doubtlessly be. So he would find where the moon could almost brush against his fingers--and would find his Saix.

He swore as he yanked up his hood and stormed through the cemetery. He had tripped over gravestones in a rush to find Saix, but the pain wasn't bothering him. The snow was cold here, bitterly chilling his skin, even as he kept up a quick pace. He knew Saix would be close to this moon-touched place, and if he was cold, as he kept moving...how would Saix survive?

He bit his lip and continued on faster.

--

Saix had begun to turn almost translucent, a deathly pallor replacing creamy porcelain skin. He shivered, but he had resigned himself to what was to come. After all, this is where his master had found him...it seemed fitting that he would fade there.

Even then, he still felt a small inner warmth. It was a small spark, but it was enough to keep the darkness at bay.

"Master..." He whispered quietly. "Your light...it's still there. I can..." He coughed, gasping for air. "I can feel it, master." He said, smiling to himself. Even after all that had happened...his master's face still brought warmth to his achingly frozen body. He looked up at the moon, and listened for her cry.

_Saix..._ the moon whispered to him. _Come home, Saix...I need you, Saix..._

_"_Not yet," he whispered. "Soon."

_Saix. I need you, Saix...I love you..._ Saix twitched his ears feebly, curling up for warmth.

_Saix! Saix, please! Come home! _Saix managed to find the strength to sit up.

"Leave me alone!" He spat at the moon. Then he began to feel a dark chill steal over his body, a sure sign fading was soon to arrive.

"SAIX!" A voice tore through the darkness, reaching his ears. It was oh-so-achingly familiar, and he started in shock, the hope taking his body and filling it with light. He turned to watch the figure of his...his...

"M-master..." He moaned softly, before finally closing his eyes.

_Saix? _The moon whispered. Saix only could listen, as she finished. _That voice...calling out? _

_It wasn't me._

_

* * *

_

Axel awoke knowing something was wrong.

He turned to Roxas, who was still sleeping peacefully. He shook his shoulder gently. "Roxy-bang," he murmured, "gotta get up." His lover stirred, looking up at him with bleary blue eyes. He yawned, sitting up in bed.

"Morning, Axel." He mumbled. "Did something go wrong?" He asked. Axel sighed in relief. Roxas had read his mind again. He nodded, tugging the younger boy out of his bed.

"Ahuh. I think something bad happened to Isa-puppy...I'm his friend; I can tell these sort of things. But I don't know where he is." He shuddered. "I need to go find him. Fuck Xemnas--that's my friend in trouble! I'm not gonna sit and wait for him to get hurt!" Axel roared, storming out of his room with Roxas in tow, the latter dressing hurriedly and throwing a shirt at Axel.

---

Senayax awoke to the sounds of Axel and Roxas running down the hallway. She yawned, rolling out of bed and standing up, getting dressed quickly, kissing Zexion, and heading outside.

"Axel? Roxas? What's goin' on?" She asked. Axel skidded to a stop before yanking her along with them.

"No time to explain, Yaya, we have to go! Come on, you can come with us!" He cried. Senayax nodded, keeping pace with them as the three headed for the door. Flames darted around Axel's entire body, and Roxas had summoned his Keyblade. Senayax was confused, but hurriedly fitting her rings on her fingers.

Then they heard Xemnas scream.

Within an instant, both he and Roxas headed right for the stairs. Senayax favored taking the easy way out and jumped over the balcony, landing on the balls of her feet and darting off. She began to bang on the door, finally settling for kicking it open.

"Xemnas?!" She roared. "XEMNAS?!" Their Superior was clutching some horrific half-frozen black...creature, wailing at the top of his lungs. Axel's mind was at an utter loss from seeing the Superior utterly lose his composure, his mind so blank that it took him a long, painful minute to realize that the half-frozen black creature in Xemnas's arms was _Saix._


	25. Breathing Peacefully

(Argh, sorry the Zexya bits are all scrunchied up. I don't like it, but I didn't want it to be about them--this is a total XemSai chap, make no mistake. Also, Axel being generally awesome and insane. Personally, I prefer him when he's a vicious, overprotective, and slightly insane Nobody, rather than _just _a perverted, possessive and doting boyfriend to Roxas. Although, when the two mesh, it's sweet--however, writing him when he's PISSED is _fun. _Don't know why, it just is.

Also, implied sex in this chapter--I assume you can guess who's involved, but I was iffy about putting the scene itself in. And this, coming from someone who has pretty much no problem discussing the interplay of fetishes in psychological states of being, or whatever the fuck I talk about when Pokemon Rule 34 comes up, that should be a shock, but I wanted to keep a T rating for awhile--at least, until spoiler redacted.

(Fee, that one's for you.)

Anyways, the drabble collection has started up~ If anyone has a better title suggestion, I'm willing to listen--either way, I hope that's up to par and will eventually explain many of the in-jokes and relationships of FtM.

Don't own KH blah blah blah you get my point.

This chapter is dedicated to everyone who could use it--yes, I've done it before, but for anyone who needs to smile today, this chapter's for you!)

* * *

It took them a painfully slow second to react. Then Axel finally snapped his mind back to the present. He could see Roxas and Senayax at Saix's side, Senayax trying to comfort Xemnas and warm Saix at the same time, while Roxas was trying to convince Xemnas to let go of Saix so they could help him.

Axel, however, didn't care about Xemnas. All he saw, all he cared about, was his best friend half-dead and frozen on the floor. He snarled in rage, and would have decked the Superior had he not been keening, clutching Saix in a vain attempt to warm him. Axel knelt closer and let the flames under his skin pull towards his fingers, allowing them to focus. He closed his eyes, and pressed his hand against Saix's chest, where his heart would be.

"Come on, baby," he muttered, "light my goddamn fire!" He felt the ice covering his skin turn to liquid, then into steam. He managed to take his hand away before it burned Saix, still shaking. He closed his eyes and waited. It was up to the darkness now to decide whether he would live or die.

Xemnas was still keening, his voice thrumming throughout the castle. "Saix." He whispered. "Saix, please. I love you, I need you, I'm so sorry...please, Saix, come home...I'll be here, I swear, I'm sorry...I love you, I love you, please, you _have_ to come _back_. _YOUR MASTER NEEDS YOU!" _He roared, before burying his face into's Saix's neck, sobbing. "Oh, my pet...my beautiful diviner, please...I need you. Come home. I need you." He didn't receive a response. With a grim resignation, Xemnas closed his eyes and awaited his lover's fading from his arms.

"M-master..." His eyes snapped open, as Saix shifted in his arms. "Master...you said...l-love...do you mean...it?" He murmured, tears already trailing down his cheeks. Xemnas pulled him close, hugging him as tight as he could, still crying.

"Yes." He whispered. "Yes. I am so sorry, Saix. I drove you from your home..." He said, voice thick with misery. Saix shook his head.

"No, master...forgive me, I--" He shuddered, closing his eyes from the pain. Xemnas hissed, and kissed him with ferocious abandon.

"_You will not apologize for this." _He spat, feeling himself shaking with fury he couldn't comprehend. "It was _my _fault. You left your home because of me. You left the only people who ever made you feel accepted because of something I did." He shook his head. "I am sorry. For taking you away from everyone else. I ruined your home." He murmured, shaking his head. Saix managed a small snuffle of amusement.

"M-master...I...I left home...but...I yearned to be back...here..." He gestured around to the splendor of the castle and whispered, "this...this is home, yes...but my place, the place where I belong and I must always come back to..." He closed his eyes for a second, and as he opened them again, he smiled. "...Within your arms, master. I will always...come back."

Xemnas burst into tears. Axel, Roxas, and Senayax looked at each other and without even needing to debate, they all let the darkness take them from the room.

* * *

Senayax managed a small smile as she walked through the darkness of the castle, glad just to see Xemnas and Saix home and safe. She couldn't wait to tell Zexion.

"I don't think we're going on that mission right now." Senayax said, reappearing crosslegged on Zexion's bed. He put his hairbrush down, shaking his head in amusement.

"Why not?" He asked. She grinned.

"Cause Xemnas and Saix are home." She was bubbling with happiness, having obviously been waiting to share that secret. Zexion smiled.

"I noticed. I already heard Axel. He's probably going to tend to Saix and then verbally gut the Superior." He muttered. Senayax nodded, giggling at the thought. Then she spied the hairbrush and leapt up to grab it, holding it tightly in her hands. Holding it up for Zexion, she smiled.

"I brush your hair, you brush mine!" She laughed to herself, finding this amusing. Zexion smiled as he sat back on the bed, feeling a gentle hand separate the strands of hair surrounding his face. He paused, as his eyes met hers. She blinked. As she observed him, Zexion had to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

"You have such a pretty face." She stated. "I don't see both your eyes unless I wake up an' you're actually asleep. Um, then..." She blushed. "Cause I brush the hair out of your eyes, and look. You're just...so pretty. I don't get to see your eyes often." She said. Zexion was at a loss for words.

Then she kissed him, once upon each closed eyelid. She grinned as she took the brush in her hands and began to run it gently through his hair, stroking and kissing each strand as she finished. Zexion closed his eyes and tilted his head back.

Axel could deal with the Superior's foolishness, he mused, so long as he could have this moment.

--

Senayax had brushed his hair for almost an hour before Zexion had taken it from her and cuddled her close. He'd brushed her hair, running his fingers through the wispy strands as he realized that he needed to do this more often. Her soft sighs of contentment had been enough to lull him to sleep with her still situated on his lap.

_Looks like he fell asleep before me_. She grinned, amused by this. Normally, she was the one who fell asleep first, only awakening for a few moments every hour or so, just to hear him turn a page in his book; the rush of paper across his fingers was her comfort, her lullaby. But he was tired, and the rhythm of brushstrokes had lulled him to sleep. She looked at his hair, still silky and spread across the pillow, a sign of her work. Then she looked at the forelock over his eye and sighed, pleased.

She pushed it back and looked at his face. She was just so happy to see his face, even if it was so familiar. She smiled, kissing his eyes, then pausing. She kissed his lips, tapping them with her tongue before giggling at her mischief and cuddling under the blanket as she curled up against him.

Zexion had awoken to the feel of her lips on his. He was soon pulled back into sleep, but feeling her lying beside him, he could focus on one thought.

_This is heaven._

* * *

The second he'd been able to move, Saix had been safely tucked into Xemnas's bed under a mass of pre-warmed blankets. He'd flat-out refused to stay anywhere else, even though Axel was fully prepared to throw him over his shoulder and put him right in his own room, far away from Xemnas.

His Superior was standing outside the door, debating whether or not to go in. Axel was _not _going to allow that. He snarled in hatred and slammed Xemnas against the wall, barely registering that he hadn't reacted at all.

"Do not push me," he spat, "because regardless of the consequences, in the mood I'm in right now, I will kill you where you stand." He hissed venomously. Xemnas merely watched him. Axel was dangerous when he was angered, and even Xemnas willingly admitted that. He snarled.

"You _asshole." _He hissed, taking him by the shoulders and shaking him, trying to make sure he understood his point, desperately trying to hurt him in some way. "_You almost killed him." _He dug his thin fingers into Xemnas's shoulders. Xemnas still merely observed him. Axel almost roared in anger and frustration.

"_He fucking lived for you!" _He screamed. "HE FUCKING DID _EVERYTHING YOU SAID_! HE ADORED YOU, _AND YOU FUCKED IT UP_! YOU _RUINED_ HIM!" The anger began to swirl in him, a hideous greasy flame sparking an entire inferno inside him. "I said _nothing. _Because he _loved _you. He thought you were _worth it. _Then you fucking _broke him. _I watched him cry, Xemnas. _He cried for you." _His voice became harsh. "You don't deserve a single goddamn tear." Xemnas still said nothing, face neutral.

Axel finally snapped.

"_HE IS MY BEST GODDAMN FRIEND! AND IT MEANT NOTHING TO YOU! HE GAVE _EVERYTHING_ TO YOU AND IT MEANT _NOTHING_!" _He slammed his fist into Xemnas's face, breathing heavily as he watched him slump to the ground.

"AXEL! _AXEL_!" He could hear Roxas coming up the steps and he swore, supporting himself against the wall with one hand and dragging his fingers down the side of his face as he snarled in frustration.

"Shit." He hissed. "Didn't want him to see this. Figure he doesn't need to see me die." Xemnas looked up at him, eyes blank.

"I deserve everything you just said." He finally said flatly. "I deserve all of that, and more." Roxas ran up to Axel, burying his face into the taller man's chest.

"Oh god, Axel, please...please, you could've died." He whispered. Axel pulled him close.

"Would've given him a hell of a fight, Roxy." He murmured, kissing the younger boy's head. "Give me that much credit." Roxas wailed, but he managed to laugh through his tears. Axel smiled with relief as he stroked his lover's hair.

Xemnas finally spoke, locking eyes with Axel as he stood. He didn't look away from his Superior's eyes, but the utter resignation in them made him pause.

"Certainly, I deserve all you've said." He said quietly. "But you challenged me, knowing you would have someone to mourn your passing. I must admit, it was brave. But," he said softly, "it was stupid. If nothing else, learn from my mistakes. All of you." With that, he opened the door to his room and shut it behind him, the lock snapping into place.

Axel turned away and looked at Roxas. His eyes were filled with tears, and he was shaking with fear as he clung to Axel desperately. Axel sighed, before he smiled in amusement and kissed all of his tears away.

* * *

Saix felt wonderful. The warmth he'd craved without even noticing was surrounding him, filling him with nothing but a sweet warm scent that screamed 'home'. This bed was his master's bed, and now he was back in it. It was _their_ bed again. He was so grateful to be home, to be so close to his master once more.

Then he heard the bed shift. As he looked up, Xemnas's breathing pattern reached his ears. He was choking back tears. Saix wriggled his way out of the blankets and looked up at Xemnas, reaching up to stroke his hair.

"Master?" He said, wondering if he should try to help. Xemnas shook his head.

"No. No, no more." He whispered in pain.

Xemnas knew Axel was right. He needed to walk away. He didn't know how he could ever tell Saix that, but he had almost killed his beautiful moonbeam, his precious pet. He would let him go, and he would let him stay with someone who could love him with a _real _heart. He would have his regrets, but he was going to make sure he never hurt Saix again.

"I'm not your master any longer, Saix." He said quietly.

Saix's eyes widened.

"Master! Please...I...I'm so sorry..." His voice began to rise and his breathing became shallow as he fought down gone and long ago feelings of terror. Xemnas looked up, and his eyes narrowed.

"You are not to apologize, Saix. I have failed. Therefore, since I have failed you, I...I don't deserve you. It's all right. I can go sleep downstairs, and--"

Saix snarled, throwing him on the bed and pinning him down on the mattress. Xemnas blinked in surprise as he looked up into his eyes. Saix hissed as he clutched his shoulders tighter, pinning Xemnas in place almost painfully. He didn't dare to breathe.

"Xemnas, I will _never _leave you. I forgive you. Please." His voice became thick with worry and hysteria. "_Please. _Xemnas, don't leave me." He nuzzled Xemnas's neck, trying to receive some assurance, any at all, that he wouldn't leave. His lover shuddered. That was what he wanted to hear--but not what he deserved to hear.

"Saix...I didn't...tell you. When you needed it the most, I failed you. I am truly unworthy of someone so...beautiful." He closed his eyes for a moment. "Brilliant as the moon..." Xemnas said softly, tilting his head back to stare up at him in the moonlight. Saix pressed his lips frantically against his, moaning and trying to keep him close.

"Xemnas! Xemnas, listen to me! Please! Don't leave just because of a mistake!" He took a deep, shuddering breath. "If you leave, you cannot fix your mistake. You can't...ever truly be sorry, if you don't at least try." Xemnas kept watching him, not even allowing himself to hope for it, refusing to believe Saix would still want him. Saix seemed to know that, and kissed him again.

"Xemnas, I will always love you. I don't_ care _about hearts. They will come--we will all have them because of you. You are truly my savior and master. I...I don't want you to go..." He clutched Xemnas tighter, beginning to shake as he tried to get closer.

"Oh goddess, master, _please_. I need you so much. I need you." He said, as a few tears rolled down his cheeks, dripping onto Xemnas's chest. Without another word, Xemnas leaned up, and pulled Saix down onto his chest. Their eyes met, and Xemnas finally let himself believe it.

"And I need you, my beautiful diviner," he said, voice deep with utter longing. Saix smiled as their eyes met. In that moment, he was so beautiful it almost hurt Xemnas to look at him. He moaned, and brought him closer. "Saix..." He could only murmur his name, voice gone. His berserker leaned up slightly, just enough to look into his eyes.

"Make love to me." He said.

Xemnas would've fallen over, had he been standing.

Saix let his hair cascade down his shoulders, not even bothering to flick it away. "Claim me, Xemnas. I am yours, and I know this. I don't think you do." He said gently. Xemnas shook his head.

"Saix, I--" He pressed a clawed finger to Xemnas's lips, interrupting him. He managed a smile, and the smile only grew wider at Xemnas's shocked expression.

"Xemnas, I'll be honest. I need this. I need you. I forgive you. Please. It makes me ache to see you this miserable." He whispered, stroking his lover's hair. Xemnas tilted his head back to stare straight into his diviner's eyes.

"Are...are you sure?" He managed a husky whisper. He was still trying to get over the fact that it was happening. His pet, his Saix...he wanted him. It was enough to make Xemnas lose himself right there, but he held back his joy and tried to keep his breathing even. Saix nipped his neck.

"I have always been sure. Foolish as you may be about emotions, remembered or otherwise...I love you. I will always want you." He leaned his head back, exposing his neck while he purred. "Take me, Xemnas."

There was a second's pause before Xemnas picked him up and let Saix move against him, feeling his pet's skin against the silk of his pants, and closing his eyes in pleasure. Xemnas almost moaned at the utterly blissful expression on his pet's face, and reached up to stroke his chest.

"My beautiful Saix." He whispered, enjoying his small whimper of shyness and faint blush. He laughed. "Accept your beauty, my diviner, and undress for me." He purred.

Saix nodded, and began to undress, haste forgotten as he let his master's hands roam his skin. He moaned softly as Xemnas kissed his chest, tongue exploring the pale skin and mapping out the way down to his stomach. Xemnas sat up, and laid Saix on his back, sick of toying with his beautiful lover. Saix blushed as his master began to tug urgently at the waistband of his pants. "Um, Xemnas, we really should...should..._aah!" _Xemnas had yanked them down in one swift movement, and smiled.

"My dear, I must thank you. You've made my job much easier. I would've just torn the boxers off, either way." He murmured in amusement. Saix was now burning red. Xemnas purred. "Sweet little naive virgin." He murmured. "I've taught you kissing, now...I think we can move on to more _advanced_ lessons." Saix rolled his eyes.

"Horrible, Xemnas, truly." He muttered, laughing under his breath. Xemnas snorted in amusement as Saix removed his pants. He tore them to shreds with ease, his claws gliding across skin teasingly.

"You deserve it for ruining those pants, you know." He muttered. But then Saix pulled him into a kiss, and he didn't really feel like complaining anymore.

--

Saix cradled his master close, stroking his hair. Xemnas had buried his face into his neck, kissing him occasionally, but more often moaning small noises of utter relief. He was so grateful that Saix was simply alive. He had kissed him back each time, reminding him he was still there. Saix tilted his head up and stared at the moon.

They had made love. It...it was strange, but beautiful. He knew he was clumsy, still unsure, but Xemnas had guided him. He had claimed him, truly claimed Saix as his own, forever. Saix managed a smile as he kissed Xemnas's forehead, murmuring, "Master, you really should sleep." Xemnas grunted, shifting in his position and glaring up at his amused lover balefully.

"No. Not if it involves me moving away from you in any way." He mumbled. Saix managed to laugh.

"Master, you can still sleep next to me. I'm certainly not feeling up to moving." He teased, kissing his forehead again. Xemnas chuckled, as Saix slid down, head fully settled on the pillow. Xemnas simply shifted his arms slightly to wrap around his waist.

"Saix?" He murmured, staring up at Kingdom Hearts. "Saix, this...this is beautiful. But we can't feel it." He said, a tear trailing down his cheek. "We can't...understand the beauty of what we have." Saix sighed, sitting up and looking at Xemnas. He sat up as well, laying his head down on his lover's shoulder.

"I can say that I love you all I like, but it means nothing. Not when I can't feel it." He said, shuddering slightly. "It's just words." Saix watched him for a moment, then managed a smile.

"You are indeed correct, master." Saix said quietly. "They're just words. But they're beautiful ones. And in time, they'll come to mean something." He said, bowing his head and kissing Xemnas. He smiled, and stroked his lover's hair, teasing the azure strands between his fingers.

"Everything, to us." He murmured. Saix smiled, and sunk down onto the pillows, pulling Xemnas close.

"Indeed." He mumbled, stifling a yawn. Before he could go to sleep, however, Xemnas tilted his head up. Saix watched him for a moment. Xemnas smiled.

"You are my life, Saix." He murmured. Saix smiled. He sat up slightly and kissed Xemnas again, bringing his lover close and entwining their legs. Xemnas stroked his hair as Saix leaned in, kissing the tip of his master's nose. He grinned at Xemnas's mystified expression.

"I know, Xemnas." He murmured. "You are my everything." He whispered. Xemnas watched him with wide eyes.

"Even when your feelings are nothing?" He murmured, voice husky with wonder. Saix grinned.

"Yes. Because you are everything." He whispered, pulling him close. "And for me, that is enough."

Xemnas pulled him closer. "Then I am yours, Saix. And you, my beautiful everything...you are indeed enough. More than I could've dreamed for." He whispered back. Saix nodded sleepily, laying down and settling his head on Xemnas's chest. He managed a smile. "I love you, Saix." He whispered. Saix looked up.

"I love you too." He whispered. Xemnas nodded and smiled, kissing his forehead as Saix curled close and both fell asleep.


	26. When to Live in Black and White

(All right, exploiting adorable little child's naivety in three...two...one...

Anyways, so yeah, hooray for foreshadowing! And Xemnas apparently cares about normality for five minutes. You'd honestly think it wouldn't matter anymore, considering as far as _my _canon is concerned, his life has been a constant storm of sexual tension, lunatic subordinates, those same lunatic subordinates only as teenagers, and if they're not crazy then they're probably just emo.

And on top of that he also has angst. So yeah, I'm not sure that the concept should even be known to him--probably the strangest part of the chapter is the fact that he knows what the word means. SO ANYWAY.

Okay. Zexya in this chapter, only very, well, um, let me just put it this way. As I wrote it, I was alternating between D: and "aww that's sweet in a horrifically disturbing way." So yeah, fair warning.

Not much else to say, except either I'm drawing the tea party outfits or I'll bother someone into doing fanartz for me. Especially Marluxia's, because seriously, his is _fabulous. _Only you don't get to see it until next chapter. Its' awesomeness just leaks into this one. Yeah.

Okay, don't own Kingdom Hearts, but if they want to keep my gay pairings, please feel free to make them canon.

This chapter is dedicated to Game Freak, in the hopes that I will get some more info on the Black and White (no, really, that's what they're called, wtf), Pokemon games. I WANT THE STARTERS NOW.)

* * *

The past few weeks had admittedly been hell. The Organization could handle the Heartless, it could handle the threat of the Keyblade bearer, it could handle itself against Maleficent and all the forces of darkness.

But, as had been shown to them recently, what they couldn't handle was romance, adorable little demon girls, and drama within their own ranks. As was natural, the cracks in their sanity were starting to show.

"Okay. Does anyone feel like they want some drama today? Perhaps some romantic tension? Horrible monstrosities attacking? The fucking _sky _falling? We might as well be prepared for that, while we're at it!" Luxord grumbled at the table, voice rising as his sarcasm intensified. Senayax made a grunt that might have been an affirmation before falling back asleep at the table.

Axel was shadowing Saix, obviously still concerned. Xemnas rolled his eyes, but accepted it. Everyone had piled on the Diviner the second he stepped in the kitchen, and every one of the adults' reactions had been joyful but muted--compared to Senayax. Senayax's was...well...

* * *

_Saix crept downstairs, unwilling to wake anyone up. His master had ordered him to get some breakfast, and Saix had quickly agreed--he hadn't eaten in a long time. However, by bad luck or fate, Senayax had woken up early and had gone to bother Vexen and Marluxia in the lab. Finding that they were still asleep, she had gone into the kitchen to eat cookies for breakfast. _

_He opened the door, and her eyes locked with his. Saix winced. She hadn't seen him since he had been so close to fading. He knew he shouldn't worry about a little girl's reaction. But of course, he was, what with that demon living inside of her and all. _

_"SAIX!" She howled, before she burst into tears. Saix blinked. _

_Well, he hadn't been expecting that._

_He also hadn't been expecting her to leap at him, pulling him into a hug while she managed to bawl hysterically, wailing something incomprehensible. He patted her head and winced at her wails of joy. "Yaya, I'm really all right. You should calm down, it's early--" _

_She buried her face into his neck. "Nooo! You, you were like, you were like an ice cube, and...and you're okay, and that's the best thing in the whole world ever, because I love you!" She sobbed happily. Saix stared, unsure of what to say._

_"...I...I'm glad I'm okay too." He muttered. Then the door to the kitchen opened and half the Organization breezed in._

_  
"Lovely morning sermon, Senayax." Axel grumbled, rifling through the fridge. Saix just groaned._

_

* * *

_

Xemnas was deep in thought for a few moments, with his pet's head upon his shoulder serving as a small comfort. He then smiled, an idea taking shape.

"Okay then. I've decided. We're going to have a normal day." Xemnas said. Zexion nodded.

"Wonderful. Who's going to be assigned to missions today?" He asked, putting his elbows on the table to lean on them, still slightly sleepy. Xemnas snorted.

"I said normal. In case you're unaware of the concept, it means normal. No Heartless, no 'romantic tension', and if the sky falls, well, it's not my fault. We're going to do normal things today." He announced.

Everyone stared blankly at him. He sighed. _Honestly, when you get blank stares from something like this, I believe that's a sign you need to reexamine your life and the people who inhabit it. _He thought darkly.

"...Like...?" Lexaeus said, prodding his Superior for answers. Xemnas glared at them.

"Well, you know! Like normal!" He said, already sensing this wasn't going to go well. Senayax wrinkled her nose.

"Normal is beatin' up Heartless." She said. Xemnas groaned quietly.

"No. Normal as in...as in, as in..." He put his head in his hands. _Oh yes, this is definitely some sort of horrible omen._

"Suggestions. I need suggestions." He muttered, ignoring his thoughts. Senayax tilted her head, and closed her eyes again. When she finally opened them, she said two words that had all of the battle-hardened adults frozen in terror.

"Tea party!" She said happily. Everyone looked at her. She shrugged, uncaring of the thirteen deathglares suddenly aimed at her. "Oh, an' y'all have a better idea?" Everyone paused.

"Well...well, shit." Axel summed it up for all of them. Xemnas groaned.

"Okay, since none of you have any ideas, let's just get going. We'll be back here in an hour, and I cannot _believe _I am saying this, but ladies and gentlemen, we are going to a tea party." Senayax was then promptly glared at.

She stuck her tongue out at everyone, and disappeared first, probably because she assumed, (correctly), that everyone was prepared to strangle her.

* * *

Zexion sighed as he rifled through his closet, cursing his lack of a wardrobe beyond his coat. It hadn't ever been prudent or necessary to wear anything apart from what he had kept after Hollow Bastion, anyway. Now he needed whatever insane thing she wanted him to wear. "We need ruffles." Senayax said from her spot on his bed, enjoying her position as party planner _immensely_. Zexion groaned.

"Oh, I can totally pull that out of my closet--Senayax, honestly. We do not need ruffles." He muttered. She nodded.

"Yes we do." She marched past him, and pulled out a white silk dress shirt with ruffles down the front, and a slate-colored jacket. She pushed them into his arms. "See? See?! It was totally in your closet!" She said. He groaned, cursing Ansem and his frequent social gatherings.

"Oh, come on." He rolled his eyes. She pouted.

"I'll give you a kiss if you put it on!" She smiled at him teasingly. He paused. That was horrible bribery, both because she was doing it innocently, and because he wanted it. He shuddered, and accepted it. He had joined that dance that was attraction, and couldn't complain if he was suddenly pulled into a waltz.

He unzipped his coat, and swallowed as she watched, obviously entranced. Then he swore, feeling the zipper snag. She smiled. "Aw, lemme help." He watched as she stood in front of him, tugging at the zipper, and pulled it down, kneeling in front of him as she reached the bottom. He hissed, teeth clenched. She stood, and yanked it off his shoulders, letting the fabric pool at his feet. She went to help with his pants, but Zexion grasped her wrist.

"Yaya. Please just...let me do this." He whispered. She stepped back, and looked up at him, hurt.

"Did I do somethin' wrong?" She said, puzzled. He shook his head.

"No. No, you didn't, I just...I can do it myself." He gave her a small smile, and to his relief, she smiled happily back. Now there was the small problem that he was getting undressed in front of her. However, according to the comments she'd made a few days ago, she knew nothing about genitalia or sex--though that did _not _help, in all honesty. He sighed, and took his boots off before yanking his pants off. She watched him with curiosity, before she kissed his forehead with obvious affection while she started unzipping her own coat. He reached in haste to find pants, knowing that, god help them both, if someone walked in, this could get incredibly awkward incredibly fast.

Of course, however, they were deep in his closet. Which was far enough from his bed that it wasn't really an easy option.

Senayax was still looking through her clothing, until she found something that she had obviously bought because it was frilly and for no other conceivable reason. It was a rose-colored dress, with a cream and gold design down the chest--and no shoulders or sleeves, leaving only a frill of lace around the beginning of her chest. The bottom half was massive, with layers upon layers of frilled silk, ending with yet _more _frills. Zexion actually managed to bite back a laugh, although it was tough. Although she looked so happy as she took out an odd doily-like accessory for her hair that it stopped any teasing remarks.

Then he realized she'd already taken her boots and pants off. She looked at the dress and frowned. "Darn, this is going to be hard to get on." She turned back to him and he almost died right there. He couldn't turn away. Wouldn't hurt her. She smiled shyly at him. "Umm, could you help me get it on, Zexion?" He could only nod, as she stepped over to him, and it was only when she came close enough to touch his chest that he realized he wasn't wearing any damn pants.

He immediately cursed whatever cruel god had left his closet pantsless. She turned to the dress, and unzipped the back, before stepping into it, and trying to pull it up. He put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Let me." He murmured. She smiled.

"Thank you, Zexion." She said shyly. He knelt in front of her, and began to pull it up gently, trying to ignore the fact that his body was on fire. He stopped at her stomach, and cursed himself for leaning in and kissing it, inhaling her scent. He'd noted it had changed--while it was normally a cool sweetness, it had become a lot warmer. She giggled. "Zexion, stop! That tickles!" He grinned up at her. She looked so happy that for once, he couldn't loathe himself for what he was doing. He kept pulling it up, and he kept kissing her, as she squirmed and giggled.

The dance picked up. He began to twirl around her with his affections, as she stepped forward to meet his challenge. She put her hands on his shoulders. "Um, Zexion?" She whispered. "Larxene said...that men...would like, my, um...you know..." He looked up. She was blushing heavily, and pushed her chest forward. "These." He could only stare. She wriggled nervously, and said, "Well, is that true?" He shuddered.

If he told her, what would happen? Would she want him, would she reject him, what would she say?

He had made a promise. He stood, pulled the dress up, and said, "Yes." She nodded, considering something.

"Do you like them?" She asked. He sighed, shaking his hair out of his eyes. She wasn't making keeping the promise easy. But he would.

"Yes. But..." Before he could finish, she grinned, and kissed him. He didn't know how to finish that sentence.

"I'm glad." She murmured. "I'm glad you think I'm so pretty...'cause you're real pretty, too." She stroked his hair. "I'm going to go ask Marluxia if he'll fix my hair, okay? I'll be back soon!" She rushed out of the room, and Zexion sat on the bed, shirt in his hands as he inhaled the remnants of her scent, letting it fill him and help him release.

* * *

Everyone else was preparing for the party as well, and they were not pleased.

"Demyx, I am not kidding. If I have to wear that, I might have to kill someone." Xigbar hissed. Demyx pouted as he straddled his boyfriend, going straight for the 'fight dirty' tactic and moving his hips slowly against Xigbar. He groaned. "And if you keep that up, I'm not wearing anything." Demyx giggled.

"Aw, please Xigbar? I promise I'll do whatever you want tonight!" He teased. Xigbar sat up from his position on the bed, making Demyx fall into his lap. He growled, and leaned in to nip at Demyx's neck.

"Sure you can keep that promise, kitten?" He purred, as Demyx shivered.

"Uh...uhuh..." He muttered, vision already cloudy with lust. Xigbar grinned, teasing the waist of Demyx's pants and slipping a single finger inside.

"Oh, really?" He murmured. Demyx shrieked with pleasure as he mewled and grasped back.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Oh god, Xigbar, please...stop t-teasing me..." He moaned softly, as Xigbar snorted.

"Kitten, don't start before we get home from this, hmm?" He purred. Demyx shuddered, nodding slowly.

"Ah...ah, uh...okay." He mumbled. He leaned back on the bed, and tried to take deep breaths. Xigbar noted with immense pleasure he'd given his sweet little songbird a raging erection. Demyx mewled, pouting woefully at him. "Xigbar...can't we...please...just a bit?" He pleaded. Xigbar nipped his neck.

"Naughty little kitten." He murmured. "We have to be normal, you know. Although I promise...tonight...I will." Demyx gasped, squirming on the bed. Xigbar grinned. "Also, if you make a mess out of those pants, it's not like you've got anything else suitable for a tea party." He teased, as he got up off the bed to put his clothes on. Demyx shuddered and groaned.

"Y-you're...an ass, Xigbar." He hissed. His lover grinned.

"Yup. Now, let me get dressed." He said, coat already discarded. Demyx tried his best to look away, but as Xigbar practically stripteased for him, it got to the point where he didn't care if he'd ruined the damn pants.

* * *

Marluxia had expected Vexen to somehow talk his way out of dressing up, or that he'd lack the clothes to actually dress up. But fate continued to surprise him.

"I honestly didn't know you had that in your closet." Marluxia said, stunned at Vexen's outfit. The scientist grumbled.

"Well, apparently it was. Believe me, if there had been any other option..." He muttered, trailing off. Marluxia grinned.

"Aww, but babe, you look great!" He trilled, obviously camping it up for his own amusement. Vexen glared at him, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away, embarrassed. A perfectly tailored black waistcoat, a white frilled shirt, tight black pants, and high-heeled boots. He knew Marluxia would molest him in those clothes, which he was not altogether disappointed in, but it was a tea party, and there was a child in the room. He sighed.

"I honestly don't care about that. What annoys me is the fact that we're doing this in the first place. What's with the Superior's new infatuation with being normal?" He asked. Marluxia shrugged, arranging a few bobby pins in Senayax's hair. Senayax bit her lip, shifting in her seat guility.

"Well, I guess it was just a pretty hectic month. I mean, it was kind of my fault and all, so I just wanted to suggest something relaxing. And...and I think even though everyone's used to the drama, we still need a break once an' awhile." She said quietly. Marluxia finished the tiny braided bun, then kissed her forehead.

"Hun, it wasn't your fault. Trust me, this is the most excitement we've had in a long time." He drawled, as Vexen snorted with dark amusement. She smiled.

"Thank you, Marluxia. How much longer do we have until we're going?" She said, tilting her head up to look at him. He checked the clock on the wall.

"Um, probably about half an hour. Go bother everyone else, and make sure they look nice, okay? Tell them I sent you." He said, as she giggled and nodded, darting from the room. Marluxia turned to Vexen and cocked his hips to one side as he leaned against the door.

"Now, babe..." He purred, pulling his zipper down, fully aware Vexen was watching like a hawk confronted with easy prey, "I think I need help out of this jacket."

Vexen pounced.

* * *

She padded down to Xaldin's room, and knocked politely on the door. He promptly opened it and raised an eyebrow at her extravagant outfit. "Hey, kiddo. Are you sure you can walk in that...getup?" He said, slightly amused. She laughed.

"Ahuh! Marluxia said I had to make sure everyone was all prettylike for the tea party. And...and then there was a thud. In th' room, I mean. So I kind of figured I should go." She muttered. Xaldin closed his eyes, shaking his head in amused disgust.

"They're busy right now." He muttered in annoyance. She tilted her head, realizing that it had been approximately the third time that sort of 'busy' had come up in conversation.

"With what?" She was already wrinkling her nose at the puzzling idea. Luxord had come up beside Xaldin and snorted in amusement as he shuffled his cards. Xaldin was still staring at her, running that through his mind on repeat, trying to comprehend it.

"I'll say it again, love, we're possibly the two worst people to ask. Mostly because silvertongue here's just gonna stare at ya and try to figure out the most delicate way to put it, an' I'll be too frank and put you in the hospital forever." He stated flatly. Senayax wrinkled her nose.

"If it's so bad, shouldn't someone tell the Superior? What if they get hurt?" Senayax put her fist to her mouth, a shocked expression on her face.

"Oh god, I left them alone and they're gonna get hurt! It'll be all my fault! I'M COMIN', GUYS!" She shrieked, as she tore right back for their room, leaving Xaldin to gawk. Luxord sighed.

"I'll go see if I can distract her." He muttered, already rushing off.


	27. Prayers for Rain

(Marluxia's outfit is so fabulous it could make glitter feel ashamed of its' drab self. Trufax.

Also, yeah, I know, Xeh's outfit is _weird_, but I was reading the _Great Gatsby, _and I just got this awesome image of him in this absolutely pimpin' boater hat and the pinstriped vest. And I was like 'OH MAN DO THIS' and my self-restraint was like, 'NO,' but the cooler part of me said, 'YES.'

So that's kind of the story behind it. Also, make fun of Nomura for his zipper obsession all you like--I so totally have a frills/steampunk/Victorian-era goth fetish, if you couldn't tell by the outfits. And Axel's is totally the sexiest damn thing ever, and if I could, I would totally cosplay in that. It's like, dude...just, _dude. _It's so fantastic and frilly and piratey and so very Axel.

Right, when I stop rambling about their outfits, of all things, I love Luxord so hard for this chapter. Just so you're all clear.

SHORT CHAPTER yes, but hey, tea party next time~ Don't worry, it'll be fantab!

Don't own Kingdom Hearts, but right now, I am within the space time continuum as a human female.

(Top that, David Lynch.)

Dedicated to coffee; when you need your burst of addictive-tastic energy, coffee is there to lend a hand! (And we, as puny humans, are eternally grateful. ^^)

* * *

Senayax darted down the hall, constantly stopping to pick up her massive ruffled skirt as it rustled angrily in protest. She had to get to Marluxia and Vexen! They might really be hurt, and then she would've been the last one to see them, and then they'd be dead and she'd be in _so much trouble._

Then her head shot up as she heard a familiar voice; a deep, rich, throaty voice, currently cursing with every single oath known to man. Her face lit up, and with her skirt still rustling, she ran down the hallway and launched herself into his arms.

"Xemnas! Xemnas! Xemmmnaas!" She squealed, shaking his shoulders frantically. "Xemnas, they're gonna die!" She was incoherent right now, trying to tug him down the hallway.

Xemnas had been incredibly annoyed at the anachronistic outfit--a pinstriped vest, frilled white blouse, and those damn beige pants. The fact that Saix had laughed at him when he put on the boater hat did _not _help. Despite his seething hatred of his outfit, he managed to raise an eyebrow at the borderline-hysterical girl, incredibly confused.

"Yaya, what's wrong? Surely the order of normalcy would mean that it couldn't be too terrible." He said, trying, even as he spoke, to convince himself of that very idea. She shook her head, panting heavily.

"Uh-uh! I mean, like, Luxord said Marly and Vexen were 'busy' in their room, and if Luxord said what they were busy with, it would totally put me in the hospital forever and ever, so I was like, 'oh my god they're gonna get hurt' and I was gonna go save them but then I ran into you and I was like, 'wow you could totally help cause you were the Superior' and I was gonna tell you now." She said, exhaling in relief, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Xemnas was still trying to string all of the massive run-on sentence together as Luxord managed to catch up to her, out of breath. He tried to open his mouth, but the Gambler cut him off. "Okay, so. Yaya, sweetheart. It's a long story, filled with deceit, drama, and the world's oldest profession. But you are _way _too young to know about it." He said, sighing. She glared at him.

"Uh-uh I'm not too young! I'm brave and tough and I kill Heartless with my bare hands!" She paused. "Um, well, I choke them to death on my blood. Same thing, really..." She mumbled. They both stared at her. She groaned. "Well, if everyone else knows, I wanna know!" Xemnas had tried to process this entire conversation, but still was trying to figure out one last thing.

"Number X, what in the name of god is she talking about?" He said. Luxord groaned.

"That's what I was trying to avoid." He muttered. Senayax watched them both with interest as Luxord swore heavily. "_Fuck._" He mumbled. "The big S, Xemnas." His Superior raised an eyebrow. Luxord twitched. "The...the...oh here, just take the damn card!" He shoved The Lovers into Xemnas's face, making an indecent hand gesture as he did so. His eyes widened.

"I...I see. Well, then...well. That's...well." Xemnas was trying to form a coherent sentence, but as of right now, his brain was utterly broken. Senayax groaned.

"No one's gonna tell me." She muttered, turning and storming off. "I'mma go ask Axel."

That took a minute to sink in--all the implications included. When it did finally hit home about what that meant, the two stared at each other in horror.

"Oh, shit. We should probably get the little bugger before she learns about the right thing--about as wrong as you can make it, of course." Luxord said, correcting himself. Xemnas was already running. He sighed. It had been relatively normal for him, this month. Mostly because Xaldin had all but locked him in their room most of the time, insisting on training the man so he wouldn't have to rely on his card tricks.

_Jesus Christ, Xaldin, I can manipulate goddamn time! I don't need to fight! I can stop time and slit their throats! _The older man had laughed at him, and shoved Fellking in his hands.

_Then learn how to slit throats better._

Luxord grinned, trying to keep pace with the Superior. For all his horrific, reckless, absolutely mad fighting skills, Xaldin's tongue was his best weapon.

He played that back in his mind, took it out of context, and burst out laughing.

* * *

As Senayax ran down the hall, Axel was currently trying to convince Roxas to wear that absolutely adorable shirt he'd picked out specifically for his Roxy-dearest. Unfortunately...

"Axel, for the millionth time, this shirt makes me look like a ho." He grumbled, trying to adjust the mesh so his nipples weren't poking out of the damn shirt. Axel groaned.

"Aww, but it's so totally hot! Please, babe?" Axel pouted. Roxas glared at him.

"For the last time, no. Now come on and get serious, Axel. If we're going to this, and we are, I can't look like a ho, and you have to wear something with a crotch. Simple order, nothing too hard--Oh stop giggling, you damn perv!" Roxas smacked his boyfriend's head and grumbled in annoyance, taking the mesh shirt off and pulling on a simple black shirt with a checkered jacket. Axel whined.

"But, but Rox-ass!" He said, blatantly groveling at his feet. Roxas turned around to glare at him.

"Really? _Really?!" _He hissed. Axel grinned, and purred, pulling his boy close as he stood up.

"Oh, indeed. Really." He purred, reaching to grope, (discreetly, mind you), his boyfriend's _fine _ass. He nipped his ear, and Roxas melted in his arms almost instantaneously. Axel grinned. Oh, it was always just too easy. Then he heard little feet running down the hallway, followed by two people that sounded amazingly like Luxord and the Superior.

"Axel, lemme in, lemme in!" He sighed, and opened the door for Senayax, again trying to find a better shirt, and, as he had promised Roxas, pants with a crotch. She tilted her head, and took a deep breath.

"So Marluxia and Vexen are doing something in their room and Luxord said if I knew what it was I'd be in th' hospital forever, and also that it had somethin' to do with the 'world's oldest profession', whatever that is, so I think they're in trouble an' I _tried _to tell Xemnas but then Luxord showed him somethin' and his eyes got real wide and I was like, 'oh man they're not going to tell me now' and so I came to ask you." She inhaled, and then sighed, explanation finished.

Unlike the Superior, Axel was exactly sure of what she was discussing. Roxas was as well--and shared a very different sentiment on explaining it.

"Axel, if you tell her, I'll kill you." He muttered. Axel whined.

"Aw, but she totally has a right to know! What if Zexion tries to put the moves on her, Roxy-bang? I mean, like, she's not going to know, and then what?!" He said, already fighting back laughter. Roxas glared at him.

"For one, Zexion does not like her _in that way. _Two, he has way more honor than you do; he wouldn't do it if she didn't even know what it was! _Unlike someone I could mention._" He grumbled. Axel grinned.

"Aww, but I totally taught you well, face it." He said, running a hand down Roxas's chest. Senayax was now horribly, horribly confused.

"Could someone _please _tell me what this is? I mean, Zexion played chess with me once, and I think that's using moves, so I guess...he already did? Is_ that _they were doing? Playing chess?" Her nose wrinkled again.

Axel burst out laughing, practically choking on his own hysteria. Roxas groaned.

"Oh god dammit, I'm totally not involved with him." He grumbled. He put his hands on Senayax's shoulders, and looked her right in the eye. She stared back, utterly nonplussed.

"Everyone is completely crazy here, it seems, so I'm going to be upfront with you. It's definetely something you shouldn't worry about. I promise it's nothing important. And if Zexion tries anything, I swear to god if Axel doesn't gut him, I will." He looked suddenly ferocious, and Senayax shook her head.

"No... I mean, I don't...oh, try _what?! _No one's telling me what 'what' is! Who the hell am I gonna ask!?" She shrieked, stamping her foot on the ground and shoving past Xemnas and Luxord, who had finally opened the door. As they stared in shock, she stormed down the hall and screamed back, "TELL EVERYONE TO HURRY UP!"

Axel was still on the floor, shaking with giggles. Roxas sighed.

"Superior, I'm really not sure you should let anyone explain this to her." He said, shaking his head. Xemnas blinked.

"Oh, Roxas? And what worries you about that?" He asked. Roxas sighed.

"I'll tell you what I told her. Everyone here is god damn insane. Xigbar would totally scar her for life, Xaldin would launch into a ridiculously long soliloquy that she'd fall asleep through, Vexen would probably quash any hint of libido she might develop with the powers of _science _or whatever, Lexaeus I might trust, but he'd probably feel terrible when he ended up having everyone else tell her differently and she'd keep coming back to him for answers, Zexion for obvious reasons--oh don't give me that look, Superior, we all know he's totally interested in her--Saix knows about as much as she does, except for what you've taught him--" Xemnas made to interrupt, but in a rare gesture of annoyance and defiance, Roxas held up his hand. It shocked Xemnas enough that he did indeed keep quiet.

"I'm not done. Axel would, well, just look at him--Demyx learned everything from Xigbar, and he's so damn peppy and cheerful about it, so she'd turn into a horrific age-bending sex maniac, god help us all, Luxord obviously can't tell her, _no one let her ask Marluxia, _and Larxene would probably just give her a pair of handcuffs and some sedatives." He muttered darkly. Xemnas could only stare.

"Well. I...I see. I...I...oh, god damn it. Is there anyone we could ask?" He muttered hopelessly. Roxas tilted his head.

"Well, considering we have most people out for our blood, and I honestly can't think of anyone that doesn't hate us apart from, well, us...okay, yeah no, we're...well, dammit." He sighed.

"We'll think of something." He looked at his Superior. "And what the hell are you wearing?"

Xemnas shrieked, threw up his hands, and stormed out the door.

Luxord laughed. "I'd ask him the same question if I wanted to die. M'gonna go attend to Xaldin, savvy? Both of you should hurry, unless you _want _to deal with a certain little monster girl." He teased, before disappearing with a snap of his fingers.

Roxas groaned, and threw a pair of black pants and a crimson shirt at Axel. "Goddamn it, get the hell up and get dressed before we're late and our little monster girl slaughters us all."

* * *

Senayax felt utterly miserable as she held Ienzo closer, throwing herself down on the floor with a soft thump. "They're not telling me anything anymore." She whispered, and began to cry. "I...I don't understand! Why won't anyone tell me anything!?" She cradled the rabbit to her chest, and let its' ears flop down on her arms, as she shifted. She sighed heavily. "I wish I knew what everyone was talking about."

"What's 'what everyone was talking about?'" She looked up. Larxene had yanked a slim black dress on, with stiletto heels. A pair of elbow-length lace gloves and a veil and pillbox hat complemented it. She tilted her head, and sighed.

"For like the gazillionth time...no one will tell me what Marluxia and Vexen were doing in their room and I've asked Xemnas, Roxas, Xaldin, Axel, and Luxord! I hate this stupid planet!" She spat, slamming her feet on the floor for emphasis. Larxene blinked.

"You don't know about sex?" She said, the realization dawning on her. She looked up at the older woman.

"The what?" She said blankly. Larxene blinked.

"Oh, shit." She said succintly. Then she took a breath. "Oh, shit." She repeated, at a loss for words. Senayax wrinkled her nose.

"Is that what they wouldn't tell me? The sex?" She tilted her head, confused again. Larxene bit the inside of her cheek to cut off a stream of profanity that had sprung to mind, but thankfully, was saved from having to explain by the arrival of the rest of the Organization.

Vexen tapped his foot, having heard about the commotion from Xemnas. He was already in the ridiculous outfit--this seemed like karma was just paying him back double.

Marluxia was having the time of his life--a rich, brilliantly rose-colored jacket with puffed shoulders and gold accents, a rose in his breast pocket, a white blouse with a cravat, and a silk pair of rose bloomers with golden trim? He was practically _glowing_ with _fabulous_.

(Vexen _really_ wanted to know where he'd hidden that. Although he wouldn't have put it past his lover to have a secret compartment for the clothes in his closet that were, as Larxene politely put it, "extra-gay.")

Lexaeus matched Larxene--probably the least extravagant of them all, though that did suit him. Simple black shirt, black trousers, and a white tie. _He got off easy. _Xemnas thought, glaring at his old friend. Lexaeus grinned back.

"I feel like an _idiot." _Xigbar grumbled, in a black longcoat, navy blue pants, and a white blouse with most of the buttons undone. (Demyx's fault, really.) The gold accents on the jacket didn't help. Demyx giggled, in the reverse--a white longcoat, navy blouse, and black pants.

"But, but Xigbar! We match!" He crowed. Xigbar groaned, and muttered something profane under his breath.

Xaldin had gotten away with Lexaeus's style, only with a red shirt and black jacket, looking very satisfied at not being stuffed with ruffles.

Xemnas was quietly seething. Saix grinned behind him, and nipped his neck. "Master, behave. You look gorgeous." He snarled, but Saix knew he was pleased.

"I still hate this planet." He turned, and placed his hands on Saix's waist. "If you were not so stunning in your outfit, I would throw away this foolish notion of...well, whatever you made me wear." Saix squirmed slightly, hiding a blush. The berserker had worn a navy shirt with a white waistcoat, and tight black pants. Xemnas kissed his forehead. "You truly are stunning." Saix smiled.

"As are you, Xemnas, whether you like it or not." He murmured. Xemnas sighed, but smiled back.

Axel huffed, having been forced into a normal, crotch-covering pair of black pants by Roxas, along with a brilliant crimson duster coat, black boots, and a white shirt. Axel had taken a strange folded-style hat and it perched on his head, feathers screaming defiant curses at the sky. (The image amused Axel, who was trying not to giggle as he thought of it.)

Zexion huffed quietly. He was not pleased about the outfit, but he was the best-behaved about it--he was doing it for her. A slate-colored jacket complimented the frilled blouse--and those damn pants that had taken way too much effort to find, after it was really too late. He snorted derisively.

Luxord was simple--tuxedo jacket, white shirt, black pants tucked into ankle-high boots. He played the gambler angle well, and with reckless abandon. Xemnas sighed, and adjusted the hat. Senayax stood, the skirt of the dress swishing and crinkling around her. They set to summon the Corridor--

"WAIT!" She shrieked, as everyone jumped. "I forgot a parasol!"

As she raced upstairs, heavy amounts of profanity followed.


	28. On a Scale of Reference

(OKAY SO LIKE HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN A REALLY LONG TIME I KNOW.

But I'm trying YET AGAIN a more descriptive writing style. Did it work out? I hope so, heh. The little short story I'm working on is the same way. So I wanted this to reflect my new attempt to describe the SHIT out of stuff. Also.

Count the Beatles references in this chapter. I dare you. I swear, I spent ten minutes just writing those references because I was like, 'dude why not?' And the moral of that story is; if something sounds really stupid to you, do it anyway. It's totally funny.

So yeah, don't anything in this chapter, not a single thing.

ALSO there's another reference; it's tiny, it's slightly obscure, and if you get it I'll love you forever and ever. Hint; it's during the party.

Dedicated to Matt Smith for being a hardcore Eleventh Doctor and dispelling all my doubts. (Further hint to the reference, by the way. Fee, you don't count, you _live _in that country.)

* * *

Five minutes later, everyone had finally stepped into Wonderland, slightly harried and filled with dread. Senayax looked down. "Huh. The floor's all checkerboardy." She smiled. "I like it here."

The room was high-walled and empty, the whole place slowly getting bigger. They knew it was just how Wonderland worked--you needed to get through the door whenever you felt like you were over the mind-screw. However, the chandelier that hung precariously over their heads was becoming bothersome, and it felt too much like they were about to be crushed to death by it.

They sighed, preparing for their tea-related fate as Saix took Lunatic and slammed it into the door and ignoring the cake and bottle labeled EAT ME and DRINK ME.

"Wise choice, my love." Xemnas murmured, grinning at the splintered remains of the door. Saix smirked.

"I live to serve, my master." He replied, kissing his cheek and kicking a still-protesting doorknob out of the way.

Senayax crawled through first, leaping down into a wonderfully lush hilly land. The hills were a lime-green interspersed with patches of blue grass. "I think that's edible." Luxord said, picking out a few strands. "Was last time I was here, anyways." Senayax wasn't paying attention, however, and was simply wandering around and taking in the sights.

Little marshmallow flies darted around, fizzling out as they came close to bright orange flowers that shimmered with heat. A few giant mushrooms stood over them all like massive trees. Their ribbed undersides were bright yellow; the tops, bright pink with emerald green polka-dots. Their stalks were like porcelain and shone like mirrors. When Marluxia thought no one was looking, he hurriedly checked his hair in one of them as Vexen rolled his eyes in exasperation behind him.

A few Jub-Jub birds flew high above them, multicolored plumage blocking out the sun and turning its' rays rainbow as they spilled onto the forest floor. A single shimmering feather floated down from one of their tails and Senayax reached up to catch it, standing on tiptoe to stick it in the band holding back Xaldin's braids. She grinned wickedly, kissing his cheek before going under the mushroom and peeking out from the other side.

Butterflies about a foot long and three feet wide rested contentedly on coiled spring-leaves which bounced gently each time one of the butterflies shifted. Nearby, a small field of strawberry-colored miniature octopi cuddled together in a garden. A walrus was bent over, tending to them while whistling something under his breath. A blackbird perched on his hat, sunken eyes watching them. Saix watched it intently, tilting his head and holding Xemnas' hand.

"Something about that seems familiar..." He murmured. "Can't quite put my finger on it...I want to, but it's just too heavy." He sighed.

"Maybe it's for a benefit." Xemnas suggested, leading the others on through the woods. "There was something I remember about a ball to celebrate a morning sunshine with Mr. Kite that someone left a few letters about it on the table... The placement was rather helter-skelter, but I remember it was signed Lucy. She left a diamond behind..." He mused, pushing his way through waist-high crimson and purple grass.

"Don't worry about it, my master. We've got to go across this universe right now, so we have to keep going." Saix reminded him, kissing his forehead. Xemnas nodded.

"Of course. Hold my hand, darling?" He asked. Saix grinned.

"Always."

* * *

Senayax had pushed through the grass and come to a signpost. She tilted her head. "Xemnas, what's th' difference between 'Abbey Road' an' 'Qeest'?" She asked. Xemnas sighed.

"Don't worry, Yaya. We'll walk down Abbey Road for the time being. Come, I think that should lead us deeper in anyway." He said. She nodded, taking his hand and following him down the road, walking down the winding path and smiling at the sights that unfolded before her.

Her smile got even wider as she took in the massive purple pumpkins hollowed out for birdhouses, the tiny stone arrangements that made little gates alongside the road, and the shimmering insects that darted around her. Suddenly, they chittered amongst each other before they started to dart around her in a circle, whirring their wings and humming. Her face was shining as she ran down the road, laughing and dancing as a few "I feel like a princess!" She said happily. Zexion smiled, closing his eyes and letting her happiness fill him as he followed behind her.

"All right, let's go find the Hatter and the Hare. They're usually up for this sort of thing." Luxord said, beckoning to them all to follow, as Senayax bustled ahead, tripping over her own skirt in the process. Zexion laughed, and rushed forward.

"Would you let me carry you, princess?" He purred. Roxas glared pointedly at Xemnas, who sighed and glared back. She giggled.

"Ahuh!" She said cheerfully, bouncing up slightly to meet his embrace. He picked her up, and held her in his arms as she wrapped hers around his neck, settling into his hold. He kissed her forehead, and carried her on through the woods, ignoring everyone else's apparent amusement.

As they went deeper into the woods themselves, gnarled and twisted trees bent down, bowing to them as they passed. Senayax took one of the older tree's branches in her hand, solemnly kissing a branch and grinning. "Pleasur' meetin' you, mister." She said politely. The tree rustled its' leaves as she laughed uproariously.

A path of shimmering stones led down into a small valley, their reflections shimmering on the surface. Luxord held up a hand for them to stop. "Alright, this is it. C'mon, it's just across the river, and I think they put down stepping-stones this time." He said.

The daisies watched them all pass by, chittering to themselves. Marluxia quirked an eyebrow and leaned down to poke one, his botanist's touch prying the flower open in an instant. As he examined the insides, the tip of his tongue stuck out of his mouth and his eyebrows were furrowed in thought.

"Should we bring one back for _science, _babycakes?" He asked Vexen, who snorted.

"Don't call me that. And no." He said in annoyance. Marluxia pouted as he pulled him into an embrace, pointedly groping him while Vexen squeaked in protest, a blush flaring across his face as he tried not to mewl and collapse against him. The daisies chittered in amusement, and one of them even tried to fumble for a camera.

"Really? How does _honeybun _sound?" He purred, grinding against him teasingly. Vexen made a mumbled sound of protest before Marluxia rolled his eyes and began kissing him, one hand still groping him with interest.

"Both," he gasped as Marluxia pulled away with a smirk, "both are fine."

* * *

The Mad Hatter and the March Hare were off at a banquet, according to a note left by the Dormouse, so Luxord shrugged. "Hey, what the hell, there's a ton of tea sets around." He said, kicking his shoes off and sinking into a chair. Xemnas groaned.

"And here I was thinking we could call this thing off." He muttered. Luxord snorted.

"Tch, you wish." He grumbled, already laying down cards for a game. Senayax squealed with delight, seeing the massive amount of stuffed animals by one of the tables.

"Yay! Tea party!" She squealed, immediately began getting places set for the plushies. Everyone sighed in relief, trying to go off and hide. Then she fixed her gaze on all of them. Everyone froze, cursing themselves for doing so as she rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation.

"I'mma need some goddam' help with settin' up th' places, innit I?" She asked. It was a rhetorical question; they knew they'd been beat. With a groan of annoyance, everyone began to help her set the tables.

Xemnas closed his eyes. _Little children have short attention spans. This will all be over within an hour, tops. Then perhaps we can go collect some hearts, and make this day productive._

(Three hours later.)

"Xemnas, seriously, you're going to give yourself one hell of a headache if you keep banging your head against the table." Xigbar sighed, munching disinterestedly on a sandwich. The silver-haired man snarled something incoherently at him. Xigbar shrugged as he clinked glasses with the Hatter, (who had come back from the banquet with the March Hare after the Queen started slicing off heads.) Meanwhile, at the other end of the table, Senayax sat on Zexion's lap with Ienzo and a group of stuffed animals, calmly discussing foreign policy.

"Mr. Stuffykins, your rebuttal?" Senayax asked, gesturing at the table of stuffed animal 'diplomats'. The stuffed bear said nothing. His head flopped forward on the table. Senayax gasped in shock. "MY GOD, GENERAL FLUFFYPANTS ASSASSINATED MR. STUFFYKINS! I'M TOTALLY TELLING!" She turned to Xemnas. "XEMNAS! GENERAL FLUFFYPANTS ASSASSINATED MR. STUFFYKINS AND MADE A MESS ON THE TABLE!"

_This is not happening. This is not happening. _Xemnas ground his teeth together, as a swarm of tiny Shadow Heartless skittered out from under the multicolored trees, and looked up at Senayax. She giggled.

"Oh yeah! Xemnas, can we keep one?" She asked. Everyone's head shot up, staring at the little girl, who remained unaware of the fear of god that she'd just put into them. Xemnas involuntarily twitched, and snarled.

"Oh, no. Oh god, no." He managed to choke out. Her eyes welled up with tears as the small group of Shadow Heartless hissed at him. He swore quietly, and slammed his teacup down on the table harder than was necessary. Zexion sighed.

"Superior, honestly. Try to enjoy yourself." He said, tilting his head back to glower at the older Apprentice.

Xemnas snarled at him. "Easy for you to say! You have a little girl on your lap, she's been stuffing you with cakes and giving you kisses, and all you have to do is contribute some discussion topics for 'foreign policy!' Meanwhile, I'm stuck with a bunch of drunken louts who set off fireworks in teapots, and right now I have a very bad headache, so frankly you can just shove it." He grumbled irritably. Zexion managed a smile.

"Well, you could come sit over here. However, you're right--someone should keep an eye on Axel before he tries to breathe whiskey-laced fire." He purred wickedly. Xemnas grumbled. Senayax handed Zexion another chocolate biscuit without a word. He promptly stuck a cookie-coated tongue out at the Superior.

Xemnas sighed, and watched his Organization make fools of themselves. Marluxia was trying to teach the flowers to dance--which he might have pulled off had he not been falling-down drunk. Vexen was inhaling hookah smoke and giggling hysterically each time his lover slurred his words or stumbled in his dance steps.

"Sho, sssho, sho like, no wait, fuck, fuck I got thish, I got this, so, shish be t'dance, annnd we're gonna, we're gonna, gonna do somethin'... Don't fuckin' laugh Vexen, I know you're laughin' at me! YER ALL LAUGHIN'! FUCK ALLA YEH! So, as I was shaying, somethin' like...danshing! Yes! Hey, hey Vexen! I'm a fuckin' genius! I love you, baby! C'mon roses, y'all gotta dance for me cause I'mma genius!" Marluxia slipped on some dew-soaked grass, thudding down hard on his back, still laughing.

"Eh, quite amusing, wot wot! What say yeh, Vexen?" The Caterpillar said, taking a long drag of smoke and inhaling it. The scientist burst out in giggles, nodding.

"Yes, sure, wot wot and all that!"

Larxene took an oyster and snapped it open with her bare hands, prying the meat inside out with Foudre. She shuddered. "Eew, I forgot how slimy this shit was. Hey Marly! If you eat this, I'll totally chain Vexen to the bed for you!" Marluxia tried to stumble over, falling again and giggling into the grass. Vexen burst out laughing once more, almost falling off the giant mushroom. Lexaeus sighed as he took Foudre from Larxene.

"Larxene, I don't think that's wise--taking advantage of drunken fools is never a good idea." He said, trying to hide a smile. She shrugged.

"I guess you're right. But if they start to make out, we can totally take pictures and blackmail them, right?" She clapped her hands together, grinning wickedly. Lexaeus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Larxene." He muttered. She snorted.

"It's a good idea, don't tell me it's not. You know you'd totally laugh, too." Lexaeus shrugged, and picked her up, holding her in his arms. She grinned, and tugged at his coat. "Don't you dare drop me, Lex." He laughed.

"Wouldn't dream of it." He murmured.

Only very slightly drunk, (just enough for Xigbar to be able to convince him sex in public would be a great idea), Demyx was strumming Peggy and humming along to his improvised song. The adorable little oysters that Demyx had saved from the Carpenter danced around him, and as Larxene advanced on another, he glared at her.

"Bad Larxene! Lexaeus, tell her not to eat the oysters! Jimmy here lost a mother that way!" Demyx pleaded, cuddling the oysters to his chest. Lexaeus sighed.

"Larxene, don't eat the oysters." He said wryly. She giggled, and swayed on her feet slightly.

"Ah, fucknuffles. I think there was booze in that chocolate." She mumbled, before ending up on the grass, rubbing her back. "Shit, how did I get down here?" Lexaeus sighed and sat down as well as he pulled her into his lap. "Stay still, pillow." She mumbled, before falling asleep against his chest. He sighed, but there was a smile of amusement on his face as he stroked her hair.

On the other side of the glen, Axel was giggling and hiccuping madly, downing whiskey from a bottle with the neck broken off.

"OI! GUYS! I'M TOTALLY MAGIC!" Axel shouted just before he spat out fire and set one of the oysters alight. Demyx shrieked.

"KAREN!" He wailed, putting her out with a burst of water. "AXEL, YOU JERK!" He roared, smacking the table with Peggy, who twanged her displeasure in protest.

"ALL SHALL TOTES LIKE FEEL MY FLAME!" Axel roared as he stumbled, promptly falling off the table. Roxas sighed, and turned to the Dormouse.

"Is...is everyone like this? Every day?" He said, gesturing to the chaos around them. The Dormouse nodded, rolling her eyes and turning back to the Hatter and the Hare, both of whom were starting to slide under the table, (out drunk by Luxord once again.)

"Yessah. Don't worry, luv, they'll get over it. S'just a bit of fun. However, if their eyebrows begin to catch on fire, ye'd better call the party off. We've lost many a good hat tha' way." She said. Roxas stared at her.

"God, I wish I could take you home." He sighed. "Although it's not much better there." He looked at Axel, who, after having survived his fall off the table, was now guzzling more whiskey in an attempt to light the tablecloth on fire, "without, like, totally getting anything else burned!" He stared in detached shock.

"The worst part is that I'm totally getting used to this." He muttered. The Dormouse patted his shoulder comfortingly.

"Don't worry, sah! I'm sure you'd know normal if yeh saw it!" She said comfortingly. Roxas sighed.

"Thanks. I...I think." He groaned.

* * *

"All right! Full house! Fuck you, gambler man!" Xigbar crowed as slammed down his cards, hair out of its' ponytail and hanging around his shoulders. Luxord snorted.

"Pfft, ya bugger! You can, in my bloomin' opinionation, ruddy well go fuck yourself!" The time lord slurred. Xigbar waved a hand at him, and blew a raspberry in his direction. Luxord glared. "OI! I bloody bite my thumb at you then, ya right tit!" Xaldin sighed, as Xigbar laughed uproariously.

"Haha, oh man, you get fuckin' British when you're drunk!" He said, leaning back in his seat, laughing as he stated the obvious. Xaldin closed his eyes, and summoned a lance.

With a simple poke from Shimmer, Xigbar toppled backwards in his chair.

"Thanks, luv." Luxord mumbled, before falling asleep at the table. Xaldin sighed.

"Think nothing of it." He grumbled.

As the two sober members of the Organization surveyed the carnage, Saix whimpered, nuzzling Xemnas' neck and nipping his ear as he laid his chin on his shoulder."Master? Are we going to go home soon?" He asked pitifully, ears wilting slightly. Xemnas snorted.

"I honestly don't know how we're going to collect approximately ten drunken louts and GET them home, but trust me, I will find a way." He grumbled, scratching behind Saix's ears gently.

At the other end of the table, Senayax was starting to pout, kicking her feet against the chair and holding her overstuffed stomach.

"Zexion, tell th' Shadow Heartless t'stop eatin' my stuffed animals, 'kay? They're not very good dinner guests." She muttered in annoyance. Zexion wasn't listening; he lazily stroking her hair, kissing her forehead and lips every so often--the booze he had drunk had definitely lowered his inhibitions, and he didn't care, frankly, if anyone saw. She pouted. "An' my tummy's starting to hurt, and I'm tired."

_Oh god, it's not much longer. Hopefully this will all be over soon. _Xemnas almost shrieked with glee. Saix rolled his eyes. "Master, really." He said, poking Xemnas gently. Senayax's head shot up.

"Oh yeah, and I asked Time if he could do me a favor and keep hisself stuck on teatime forever." She said flatly. Xemnas's eye twitched, which ended up turning into a full body spasm. Saix sighed.

"ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT, WE'RE ALL GOING HOME!" Xemnas roared, summoning a Corridor and shoving them all towards it. Senayax pouted.

"But--"

"NOW!" Xemnas screeched, as the Organization disappeared.

However, since Senayax had been fighting to get off Zexion's lap, the two were left behind. She looked at Zexion and smiled. "Hooray! Can we go exploring?" She said brightly. Zexion sighed as he looked at the tiny wisps of darkness still lingering from the Corridor. The Superior would probably strangle him if he didn't come home after this latest fiasco.

However, he was probably in desperate need of 'therapy sex', so they _did _have awhile. He sighed, knowing he'd lost the battle. "Yes. We can." She was already off running. He smiled and headed right after her, trying his best to keep up.

Suddenly, Senayax looked up and suddenly saw that the trees had grown over the sky. The pale blue sky no longer shone light on the forest floor, and she was getting cold. She blinked. "Ohh...oh dear. Zexion?" She turned around, and saw that the trees had grown up behind her. She shuddered. "ZEXION?" She screamed. The forest gave no response.


	29. Taffymeat

(This chapter is horrifying.

You're welcome.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, this is foreshadowing like whoa; trust me, when everything goes down you'll look back on this and go 'ohh she told us about this already.'

But that's not for awhile yet.

**ALSO ALSO: IF YOU HAVE PM-ED ME, I'M GETTING TO THEM ALL TOMORROW, I SWEAR TO GOD. **Mmkay?

The Cheshire Cat is awesomeness incarnate, but sometimes, using him as some sort of neutral but ultimately chaotic force is just FUN. So yeah.

Don't own Kingdom Hearts, don't own a lot of things.

I held this update back a day so I could give my friend a birthday gift; this chapter is dedicated to Dub, (again), because even if he hasn't finished reading, it's still his birthday and it's special. ^^)

* * *

Outside the forest, Zexion watched the thicket of trees in horror.

Zexion had lost her. He had watched her move forward into the forest--and then it had swallowed her. _Eaten _her. He bit back a scream and headed forward into the forest--he wanted to examine the trees and try to make them move.

As he pressed a hand against the bark, he felt her invading his senses again. Her sweet scent, her gentle face, her hands reaching out to him, reaching as she called his name over and over, _Zexion Zexion __**Zexion**__--_

He didn't realize he was screaming until he heard someone giggling far above him.

"Hello. It seems like you've lost someone." Zexion watched with distaste as a smile formed, a body soon following. After a series of stripes and sniggering fangs had found their way into a set form, the Cheshire Cat hung by his tail from a tree and watched him with amusement. He chuckled, a low, purring snigger marring his features as he leaned in closer to Zexion's face, eyebrows twitching as his eyes got even bigger, capturing Zexion's face in their reflection. "Was it that little girl? Your beautiful princess?" He asked, smile widening. Zexion snarled.

"Did you do this, cat?" He snarled, getting even closer to the Cheshire Cat, forgetting that he could barely fight; in that instant, he wanted nothing more than to snap the feline's neck, if only to stop that horrid _laughing._ The Cheshire Cat giggled.

"Did I? Did I? Well, I don't know. Did I, Zexion?" He purred, folding his paws under his chin as he floated midair, wriggling his tail at Zexion and curving it into the shape of a question mark. Zexion's lip curled as he spat at the cat, his calm facade cracking.

"Do not push me. Tell me where she is. _Now." _He hissed, hands trembling as he forced himself to keep from strangling the cat right then and there. The only thing keeping him from finally snapping and letting his darkness take over and make him less-than-human, less than a Nobody, even, was the thought of Yaya and what she would think if she saw him so filled with Cheshire Cat giggled, shaking his head in amused disdain.

"Did I say I knew? Do I? Do you think so?" He said, grinning at him and raising his eyebrows as if he was expecting an answer. Zexion screamed, voice breaking as he tried to punch the Cheshire Cat; it simply turned to smoke and phased back into being behind him, shaking his head and purring with laughter.

"Damn cat, listen to me! Yaya is _gone_! Is this one of your illusions or not, idiot feline?!" He roared, trying in vain to grasp at his fur. The Cheshire Cat still giggled. Zexion's eyes narrowed. He could hear Senayax whispering in his head, but something inside of him had finally snapped. The power that he had been given by the darkness was bubbling to the surface, and he could feel the shadows wrapping around him and caressing him with mewling purrs of encouragement, letting him face down the Cheshire Cat without feeling even a fake, barely-remembered twinge of regret as he prepared to fight.

"You crossed with the wrong Organization member, cat." He murmured, lilac eyes hardening as a small bark of laughter tore itself from his throat. "_I _am the master of illusion, not you and your third-rate parlor tricks." He said darkly. He held out a hand, and closed it into a fist.

"_Show me what he hides. I must find what he will not let me seek. Open your door unto me." _He recited the spell, his head buzzing with the sounds of magic as the darkness burst out of his body, swirling into the air like smoke from a funeral pyre. The Cheshire Cat's giggling got higher in pitch until it finally rose to a deafening high pitched monotonous shriek. Zexion screamed as the inside of his head felt like it was collapsing in on itself--before the world flashed white just once, and it shifted back to normal.

Zexion looked up. The world didn't seem to have changed much, but his mind felt fuzzy, like he was blocked off from something. He couldn't access his thoughts, couldn't determine if this was an illusion or reality. He swore, standing up and zipping his coat back up. "Yaya?" He watched the trees bend and sway, cleaving a path between them. He heard her voice, calling back to him.

"Zexion...?" She called back. He rushed forward, moving past the trees.

"Yaya? Yaya, you need to keep talking! It's okay! I'll come find you!" He yelled. She moaned.

"Aah, Zexion...Zexion, please..." She said, breath hitching. Zexion paused, and cursed himself. It might've been his imagination, but...she sounded like...

For one horrible moment, the image of her on her back appeared in his mind, and horrible, _horrible _images eating up his thoughts, she was a _child, _he would _never _touch her, _never--_

"Zexion..." Another moan reached his ears, more trembling and breathy this time. He shook his head and kept going, trying to banish the thoughts from his mind. He didn't know what was going on, and with Senayax lost in this forest, that could be fatal for both of them.

The trees kept moving as he kept going on forward, wavering in the light as if they were surrounded by flames. He suddenly noticed they were shuddering, like there was something moving under their bark. He touched one hesitantly, and it melted against his hand. He watched with detached horror as he pulled his hand out, taking a fistful of some wriggling flesh with him. It looked oddly like taffy, and as it oozed out of his hand in strings, he fought against taking a bite.

"Zexion...Zexion...please, please..." She panted, breath coming in short bursts now. The illusionist swore as he scraped the taffymeat off his hand with his teeth, spitting it out on the ground as he felt its' sickly saccharine scent clog his throat.

"Yaya, please! I'm coming!" He shouted, realizing whatever this was, whatever this was designed to represent, he was falling deeper in. He tried to fight his way through the pulsing mess of sweetly rotting trees, but he couldn't hear her anymore and he couldn't smell her; that rotten scent, that taffymeat, it clogged his senses and _he couldn't breathe--_

The taffymeat began to ooze from the trees, their bark and branches sagging with the soft mess. Finally, as it dripped down in strings, he could breathe. As he began to wade through the throbbing mess, Zexion did his best to avoid getting a hand or boot snagged in it. He kept trying to fight his way through, all the while listening to Senayax moaning his name.

"Zexion! Zexion, it hurts...Zexion, I'm scared...Zexion, Zexion..." Her voice was becoming lower and weaker as he kept tearing his way through the trees. He screamed, his voice hoarse from exhaustion.

"I'M COMING!" He screamed. "YAYA, JUST HOLD ON!" He wailed, falling to his knees, realizing that his legs were throbbing in agony, like he'd opened sores on them. Every step he took felt like something wet and warm was gushing down his legs, and he just prayed it wasn't blood.

He finally pushed himself out of the taffymeat trees, and fell to his knees, spitting out the gobs of taffymeat that had found their way into his mouth as he'd breathed.

She lay against another of the melting trees, held fast on her back. Her dress was torn away, and she shivered, naked and exposed in the sudden cold. She'd struggled against the sticky taffymeat, and now her legs were akimbo, making Zexion shudder in loathing as he felt himself overtaken with lust. She didn't seem to notice his torment and simply called his name. "Aah...Zexion? Zexion?" She moaned in relief, trying to reach up to hug him. He almost gagged, but he crawled closer.

"Yaya...sweetheart..." He groaned, trying to fight back lust as he buried his face into her neck. She squirmed forward to come closer, thrusting her hips upward.

"Aah...it, it hurts...Zexion...kiss it better...Zexion..." He moaned in pain, cursing himself as he felt the beginnings of an erection stirring. She shuddered, mewling in agony and holding her arms open to embrace him, chest rising and falling with each breath; a detail Zexion couldn't help but notice as he tried desperately to stop thinking of her body. "Zexion...Zexion, you promised...make it stop, make it s-stop...h-hurting, it hurts...make it stop eating me..." He could only move forward to embrace her, burying his face into her chest. She sighed in ecstasy and wrapped her arms around his back.

"It's okay. It's okay." He murmured, tilting his head up and stroking her hair. She shook her head.

"N-no...it's...not...kiss it b-better, please kiss it and make all the pain go away...he...he's under my s-skin, Zexion, and he won't get out...kiss it better...oh god, Zexion..." She moaned, eyes fluttering back into her head for an instant as he felt her tense under him. He shuddered.

"I can't! I can't! I'm sorry, Yaya, I just can't!" He snapped, trying to back away. She shuddered, rubbing against him, her skin pure torture as pleasure rushed through his body.

"Why?" She murmured, nuzzling his neck and licking and nipping at his skin. He shook his head, mind swimming as he tried to focus on what he had to tell her.

"Because...because...because, I can't...it's not..." He was trying to form a sentence and failing, desperately trying to find an answer. She jerked her body up against him.

"You promised you wouldn't lie." She said balefully, eyes accusing and angry as she looked up at him. He moaned, unable to think of anything to say. Her eyes narrowed as she began to hiss at him.

"You..._liar..._you _dirty...rotten...liar. _Filth...l-look at _you..._f-filthy..._LIAR!" _Her voice resounded in his ears, and he tried to pull away but her arms held him fast. He began to scream.

"Yaya, please! I'm not a liar! I just can't! You're a _little girl! _I will _not!" _He screamed, trying to push away from eyes rolled back in her head and she spasmed, legs wrapping around his. Zexion suddenly felt his mind clear, if only a little; enough to realize that this wasn't his Yaya. He looked down and saw her eyes weren't brown, but a brilliant rose.

"But Zexion..._she wants it...the little slut wants it..." _The little-girl lips were now crammed with needlelike fangs as she smiled up at 's eyes widened, recognizing that familiar gleefully sickening swore, trying to tear himself away.

"Fucking _beast. _You did this. You _liar. _I would _never _touch her_!_" He snarled, knowing deep within his own darkness that it was a lie. The beast giggled.

"_Nooo, I showed you the truth! Give in, Ienzo. Fuck her." _He giggled watching Zexion gag, still heaving and trying to get away. Then the beast disappeared for a second, and Senayax's open, honest, _beautiful _face shone up at him, eyes filled with pain.

"Oh, please Zexion...make him go away...kiss me better...all better...f-fill me..." She whispered, taking his hand and placing it on her stomach. He loathed himself, loathed himself utterly and completely as he leaned down to kiss her. She kissed him back, moaning softly as he felt the flesh melt under his lips. He tried to pull away, but he was stuck. As he opened his eyes, he saw the body dissolving into taffymeat. He screamed, and within his fractured mind, he heard the beast giggling.

* * *

Senayax was only able to watch as the beast tortured Zexion, beating against the walls of whatever prison the beast had trapped her in. "LEMME OUT, PIGFOLKER! LEMME OUT! ZEXION! _ZEXION_! GOT T'BE BRAVE! _ZEXION_!" She bawled, kicking at the walls in frustration and screaming.

_Hush, child. The darkness will not ruin him, for he is part of it. _The little girl began to sob.

"He's hurtin' him! He got no right!" She began to scream, trying to reach out from her prison and make Zexion hear her. "I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! ZEXION! GOT T'FIGHT! YOU CAN! YOU CAN! _ZEXION_!" She slammed her fists against the darkness, beating her fists bloody against the walls. The tinny voice resounded again.

_Foolish little child...please, behave yourself. You belong in this place. _She looked up at the endless darkness of her prison.

"What's this place be?" She spat. "This place be NOTHIN'! _MY HOME BE THE CASTLE_, AN' YOU SHUT UP!_ YOU ALL SHUT UP RIGHT NOW_!" She screamed, her voice becoming hoarse. The darkness pulsed.

_This place is the inside of the moon, your own mind. Where you came from, dear heart...more than you know, you are the heart. The heart of all hearts. _The voice was murmuring, sweet and smooth as it tried to soothe her. Senayax wouldn't have any of it.

"FUCK OFF!" She screamed again. "FUCK OFF, FUCK OFF! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! I DON'T WANT TO BE T'HEART! I EN'T NO ONE'S HEART!"

_Idiot _child! _What do you think you are, then!? _Human_?! _

"I'M A _NOBODY_, STUPID! I'MMA MEMBER OF ORGANIZATION XIII, SO_ DON'T FUCK WITH ME_!"

_YOU ARE THE MOON! _It clapped her hands over her ears as the voice thundered in her head. _IDIOT! DID HOLLOWMOON TELL YOU NOTHING!? _Senayax screamed.

"I DON'T NEED ANYONE T'TELL ME _I HATE YOU_!" She yelled, spitting on the floor and stamping her feet, on the verge of a temper tantrum as hatred and violence rushed through her thoughts.

_Kingdom Hearts...why do you think you're here? Why do you think that they found you, a little Nobody brat? Why do you exist? You exist to fill the moon. Why do you think I've been talking to you all this time? It's your function. Your only purpose. You are the moon. _It gagged.

"N-no! NO! I AM NOT THE MOON! _I AM SENAYAX _AND _I AM LOVED _AND_ YOU CAN SHOVE IT_! ZEXION! ZEXION, GET ME OUT!" She pleaded, voice rising in her hysteria.

The darkness began to glow white. A rush of pages flipping and the scent of ink reached her.

_No! Don't you DARE! You are the moon you must stay must stay must must must must--_

She reached into the light and she was gone.


	30. Bathtime

(This chapter is...this chapter. It's...it's...

Let me just say this now. I am a complete and utter monster to this girl. And as I read _Firestarter, _(good book by Stephen King; shameless plug for one of my favorite authors), I realized that. D: I am so sorry and I hope that if the gates of time shift or something and I get to meet my characters, she won't punch me in the face or something.

Although at this point, that'd be like, a miracle; once the NEXT thing comes up, it's a given I will not only be punched in the face, but she will be the first one to burn me at the stake. With becoming a better writer, you apparently become more of a total asshole to your characters. Like a circle of life, only a circle of torturing a character to the point of sociopathy.

...Does the Geneva Convention cover torturing metaphors?

Anyways, maaaaaajor lolicon bait in this chapter. I secretly worry that in some dark corner of the internet, Rule 34 has sprung up from this story, and after this scene, I'm pretty sure it's a certainty.

So yeah; I don't own KH, but do any of us really own anything? Within the grand scheme of things?

Dedicated to all the people who will probably take me up on my Rule 34 bait.)

* * *

Zexion groaned, unsure if his spell had worked. He shuddered, hands trembling as he reached for Senayax. He'd heard the entire conversation between her and whatever the beast had trapped her in, but he wasn't sure what had actually happened. He couldn't smell her, and he was so terrified to open his eyes, afraid if he did the world would turn into taffymeat.

"Oh, god...Yaya...Yaya, are you all right, Yaya?" Zexion moaned, finally feeling her weight in his lap. When he got the courage to open his eyes, he realized she was still fully clothed. He thanked whatever deity was paying attention before wrapping his arms around her waist. Senayax looked up into Zexion's eyes and nodded, and then promptly buried her face in his neck, bawling in terror.

"I wanna go home! I wanna go home, Zexion!" She sobbed, still incoherent and hysterical as she tried to wrap her arms around his neck. He nodded.

"Yes...yes, I know, sweetheart. It'll be all right. I'll carry you, okay?" He said softly. She nodded, and Zexion picked her up, kissing her cheek. She nuzzled his neck, and fell asleep, exhausted.

He summoned the Corridor and inhaled her scent, sweet and clean...so unlike the taffymeat. He shook his head. He wouldn't think about what had happened right now. But he needed to tell Xemnas.

* * *

Axel saw them first; Zexion cradling a sobbing Senayax to his chest as he tried to make it inside the castle. He immediately darted out the doors and skidded to a stop in front of both of them.

"Shit! Shit, you guys! What the fuck did you do!?" Axel said as he stormed into the castle, dragging Zexion behind him. Zexion shuddered.

"Damn cat...the beast, Axel. The beast...and Senayax...she was mumbling something about...the moon." He whispered. Axel stopped in his tracks.

"The beast. It--" Before Axel could ask, Zexion shook his head, cutting him off.

"Yaya called it a 'he'. His name, apparently, is Hollowmoon." Axel shuddered.

"Damn. What do you need, Zex? I can go tell the Superior you're back, and your report, if you need to heal anything..." He said, observing the scratches on his arms and face. Zexion nodded gratefully.

"Thank you, Axel, and yes. I'll be in the bath if anyone needs me--I need to scrub that horrid scent from myself. I shouldn't be too long--tell the Superior I'll meet with him as soon as she's asleep." He said. Axel nodded, disappearing into the darkness to give him the message.

Zexion climbed the steps, shouldering his little girl. She snuffled and snored, and he managed a smile. "It's all right, princess." He whispered to her as he opened the door to the tiled bath, Kingdom Hearts shining down on the floor. The navy-and-white mosaic patterns, normally so beautiful, reminded him suddenly of a melting universe. With a shudder, he turned away and knelt on the edge of the bath.

He sighed and twisted the knobs, letting the water gush out and fill the tub. He hadn't been lying to Axel; the combined cloying scents of the melting trees and the beast's stench were both making him gag. He poured his own scented soap into the water, letting the bath fill while he undressed. Then he turned to Senayax. She was still asleep, breathing slow, gentle, and soft. He sighed, pants thankfully still on this time as he remembered she was there.

"Guess I'll let her make this decision for herself." He muttered, as he shook her shoulder gently. She opened her dark chocolate eyes and blinked, still slightly woozy as she rolled over to stare up at him. He felt a shudder of relief pass through him as he saw her sweet, innocent stare void of any further terror about what had happened to them.

"Mm? Zexion?" She murmured. He knelt down and kissed her forehead, cradling her in his arms.

"Hey, princess. You're awake. Do you need a bath? I'm pretty sure you got messy from all those cakes." He teased. She giggled, all her worries about the beast forgotten.

"Ahuh!" She turned her back on him. "Unzip it please?" She asked. He nodded, and let his mind go blank as he unzipped it gently, letting the fabric fall around her feet. She stepped out, and undid her bun, setting the lace accessory on the counter. She shook her hair out, and smiled at him. He had to smile back, and finally turned to shut the water off. She watched him stand. She said nothing for a moment, until he headed for the door. Then she finally spoke. "You need a bath too." She reminded him.

Her statement was a thinly veiled order; a gentle order, but an order nonetheless. He turned to stare at her, knowing his eyes were wide and his body and soul stripped bare with a simple knowing gaze. She stood in front of the tub and watched him. Her eyes had taken on that odd quality again, and he could only tremble in front of her.

"I...I can't get in with you. It isn't..." He trailed off as she glowered at him and pouted. He winced, knowing that pout had effectively wrapped him around her finger.

"Shush. I want you here, Zexion." She said firmly. He shivered.

_She wanted him. _

He shook away the horrid thoughts in his mind and fumbled for his waistband. As she saw him stripping, she looked away and blushed, fiddling with her hair and trying to look calm and dignified. Zexion had to bite back a snort of amusement. Shyness? Really? After inviting him into her bath?

_Well it's not like she knows what that would mean..._ He sighed and yanked his boots off, stepping into the bath and sinking down under the water. For a moment, he forgot he was sharing a bath with a small child who may or may not be harboring romantic feelings for him and enjoyed the peace of the still water. Of course, that stopped when he felt water splashed in his face.

Senayax giggled and ducked her head under the water, flicking foam at him and waiting for his reaction with a wriggling sort of innocent glee. He wrinkled his nose in sudden shock as the bubbles hit his forehead and slid down his nose. She giggled and squealed as he splashed her, shrieking as the water ran down her face.

"Zexiiiooon! Cheater cheater!" She squealed, wriggling in his grasp. He laughed before an idea crossed his mind. He reached for her with a wicked smile and began to tickle her. Her eyes widened and she shrieked gleefully, laughing and trying to squirm away. He couldn't help it--he started laughing as well.

He was at peace and recovering from their game until she straddled him. He looked up in shock. "Got t'wash your hair." She said as reached over him, and grabbed for the shampoo. He swallowed, realizing her chest was at eye-level with him at the moment. She huffed, obviously amused. She squirted some out into her palm and sat on the tile, running it through his hair.

He fought against the urge--just for a moment--to lean his head back. But then he sighed, giving into temptation and leaning against her, inhaling her scent. She rubbed it in gently and smiled at him indulgently as she drummed her fingers against his neck. He shifted, trying to stamp desire down. She finally stopped running her fingers through his hair, and let him soak it clean. She slid back into the tub without a moment's hesitation, blowing bubbles in the water and waiting for him to play with her.

He looked at her swimming around in the tub and managed to purr. Something that had been restraining him had disappeared suddenly, and all he could think about was her scent. "My turn." He murmured.

She sat willingly in his lap, squirming to get comfortable. He bit back a gasp, but as she leaned against his chest, he managed to run his fingers through her hair, soaping it as she giggled. He moaned softly, feeling her against him, and he couldn't stop himself from grabbing the soap and slicking his hands, rubbing her neck and shoulders. She squeaked in shock.

"Oooh! Ohhhh, Zexion..." She shuddered against him, limp and mewling in his arms. He exhaled, trying to figure out how far he could go before his restraint remembered to bring him back from the brink.

"Let me...clean you. Is that all right?" He whispered. She nodded, sitting back up on the tile and splashing her feet in the water. He shivered in pleasure, letting himself stroke her neck, grazing it and rubbing the soap in as he held her steady. She giggled, still sensitive to his touches.

He ignored her breasts; he didn't want to lose his control before he'd even started the dance. He settled for soaping her stomach, rubbing the foam in gentle circles. She threw her head back and gasped in shock.

"Zexion! You're tickling me!" She squeaked with indignation as she wriggled in his lap. He looked down at her and managed a smile as she ruffled his hair with her hand, tugging on some of the strands and pouting at him.

"You know, you're very sensitive." He teased. She laughed at him, shaking her head and sticking her tongue out at him. He closed his eyes in pleasure at the sound of her laughter. His hands kept moving, stroking her, touching her; not even to arouse her but simply to feel her skin under his fingers and be able to hold her steady.

He finally stopped at the swell of her stomach. His fingers itched to go down, to stroke her, truly see how sensitive she could be...but he shook his head. She didn't even know what it was. He wouldn't ever do that, not unless she said yes.

_What if she did?_

He banished the thought from his mind and stroked her thighs with one hand, reaching to clean her back with the other. She was moaning softly now, shuddering with the sensations. "Oooh...ummm, umm...Z-Zexion..." She was trembling under him, her whole body shaking with the pleasure of what he was doing to her. He kissed her forehead as she lifted a leg up hesitantly. He stroked her calves and ankles, and then repeated his gentle touches with her other leg. He smiled, knowing that for once, there had been no lust, however faint in his touches. She was simply happy, warm, and wet; it was all he wanted.

"You can wash off now." He murmured. She shuddered, nodding before she sank into the water. The soap floated on the water's surface, the bubbles frothing slightly. She looked up at him. He looked down at her. They simply watched each other for a moment.

Finally, she stood up and said, "Sit."

He sat back on the tile without complaint.

She rubbed the soap on her hands and got up, straddling him for better reach. He didn't even bother to argue. He wanted this. God, did he want this. She cleaned his neck first, rubbing it gently before reaching for his chest and stroking it with one hand, rubbing his back with the other. He could feel the heat, the need, and the lust pumping through him, and all of it was good enough to function as a heart, just for the time being. He moaned, and she giggled.

"You're ticklish too, Zexion?" Her eyes, when they locked with his, were still innocent...but this time...there was something _more. _He smirked, nodding as if he was raising a challenge. She kissed his lips gently before kneeling down and cleaning his thighs. She paid no attention to his cock, he mused. She really had no idea.

She stroked his thighs gently, tracing patterns in the soap with her fingertips and tilting her head, curious at the contours of muscle, insistently testing both the feel and his limits with her touches. He shuddered at the sensations, knowing he was helpless to push her away or even protest. She grinned, kissing both of his thighs in turn. He gripped the tile, trying not to spill himself right there.

_Good lord, Yaya! _He swore, shuddering with the effort not to scream. _You could drive any man mad!_

She looked up at him in amusement before she continued to his calves and stroked them with gentle care. He shuddered at the contact, watching her become more and more interested as she continued to let herself explore his body. When she stood, he noticed her legs were slightly shaky; briefly, he wondered if she was subject to as much mental debate right now as he was.

He managed to smile with amusement at her puzzled expression, even though he was resisting every instinct that screamed for him to pull her close and take her, on the_ floor _if he needed to. He ignored the instincts as he picked her up and wrapped a towel around her, getting his own robe and sliding the soft navy coat on over his shoulders.

She followed him out to the hallway with dress in her arms as the darkness swirled around them.

They both appeared in their room after an instant. Senayax dropped her dress on the floor, looking like she was ready to collapse on top of it. She barely had time to put a pair of pajamas on before she fell into their bed, cuddling the blankets around her and falling asleep within a minute. Zexion smiled at her before he put his coat on, shrugging out of his robe and yanking on his coat, zipping it up with one quick flick of his wrist.

He ignored the boots on the floor; he didn't need to bother with shoes in the castle. Before he left, he turned back to Senayax. She was content by herself; no sign of nightmares. He kissed her forehead as he let the darkness swirl around him and take him to the Superior's office.

* * *

Zexion stood in front of the door, still shivering from both what had just happened and what he was going to have to explain. The walls seemed to close in around him, and he had to fight down long-forsaken feelings of fear. The door was already open; he simply pushed on it and stepped in.

Xemnas was already waiting for him, concern written across his features. "Zexion. Are you all right?" He asked, motioning for him to sit. He smiled thinly.

"Yes, Superior. The Cheshire Cat put up an illusion--when I tried to disperse it...well, I think the beast got involved." He said, shuddering as his throat worked reflexively. Xemnas nodded, grabbing his hand and squeezing to reassure him. Zexion smiled up at him, as innocent and sweet as he had been when he was Ienzo and the world hadn't been so dark and complicated. Xemnas shook the thoughts away as he returned to the task at hand.

"I see. Zexion? What...what happened?" He murmured, unsure if he wanted to know the gory details. Zexion shuddered, proving Xemnas' assumptions correct.

"Yaya...she, she was trapped...in this darkness. It was like a hollowed-out catacomb...so empty and dark and _lonely._ It was clinging to her, keeping her trapped there... Then people were talking, and something said...that she was the moon. I don't know what that means, and she doesn't seem to remember." He whispered, voice giving out as he tried to forget the horrible screaming match that had happened between his Yaya and whatever else resided in that husk.

Xemnas nodded, letting his thoughts wander for a moment. Then he remembered something Roxas had told him when they had been discussing Senayax's complete naivety to sexual attraction. "Zexion...something Roxas said has been bothering me." He said, wondering whether or not he was walking a dangerous path. Zexion tilted his head, tucking his hair behind his ear.

"I see. Superior, is something the matter?" He asked politely, eyes inquisitive and curious.

_Ienzo, attentive as ever. _Xemnas couldn't stop the thought from coming to him, unbidden and unwanted. Somehow, the fact that he wasn't worried, simply curious, just made what he wanted to say worse. Xemnas shook his head.

"No, just..." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, knowing he had to ask the question. "Are you attracted to her?" He said before he could stop himself or talk himself out of it. Zexion blinked in shock as the implications of what Xemnas was asking hit him full in the face.

"_What_?" The teen almost jumped out of his seat, the question knocking him off-guard. His eyes had gone from inquisitive to pained and slightly hurt; Xemnas suddenly felt like he'd disappointed Zexion in some way.

Xemnas exhaled, shaking his head. "It was something Roxas said to me...and you are very close with her, no doubt. She loves us all dearly, as much as a Nobody can, but it is you she adores." He said, knowing he was backing Zexion into a corner. To his surprise, Zexion simply nodded.

"This is true, Superior, but what she feels for me, as far as I can tell, is familial affection, same as she feels for all of us." Zexion told him, no liar's twitch betraying him or pain in his eyes telling the real story. He was telling the truth...the truth as he knew it, anyway.

Xemnas nodded and locked eyes with his Schemer, his curious, gentle little Ienzo. He remembered him before, in Hollow Bastion, the youngest of them 'd required protection; he'd required comfort, advice, hope, and a family to call his own. They'd done their best, but five men and a king, no matter how devoted they were, were not a normal childhood by any stretch.

_He'd grown up with us, lacking a normal childhood_, Xemnas mused, _perhaps he understands what she's going through. _As he thought it, he did his best to force himself to agree. But he had to ask one more question. Just one more, and his mind would be at rest.

"But what, Zexion, do you feel for her?" He asked. Zexion closed his eyes. Xemnas tried to convince himself further, even as Zexion chewed his lip in thought, seriously considering his thoughts.

"Superior...Xemnas...honestly, I don't know." He murmured. Xemnas nodded, putting any niggling thoughts into the corners of his mind.

"I understand. Zexion, just get some rest. We'll see what comes in the morning." He said, standing up and taking Zexion into his arms for a moment, trying in some way to remind Ienzo and Zexion both that his family hadn't given up on him. The younger boy nodded gratefully before letting the darkness swirl around him as he disappeared.

**

* * *

**

Zexion opened the door to his room, running his fingers through his hair as he observed his pristine room. He'd had enough of today, and he was desperate to fall asleep. He was grateful to know that he had his little princess waiting for him, but he didn't know if she was even awake to greet him.

But Senayax had watched him open the door and managed a smile as he walked in. "Zexion?" She murmured, eyelids still heavy with sleep. He grinned in relief, finally understanding how badly he'd truly needed her comfort. She looked so perfect right then, drowsy and innocent, that he forgot what Xemnas had asked him. It didn't matter.

"Hello, princess." He murmured. "Tired?" He asked. She nodded and cuddled closer to his pillow, burying her face into it and inhaling his scent. He smiled in amusement and undressed, putting his pajamas on before falling back on the bed with a sigh of relief.

After a moment, however, he realized that something was pressed against his back. He shifted, sitting up and turning around to look at the mattress. He realized that there was a book right on his pillow. "Senayax, why is this in our bed?" He asked, putting it on his lap and looking down at her. She shivered in trepidation as she looked up at him nervously.

"Um, I was going to ask if you'd...read to me." She murmured. "Because I love when you read. I can see the words in my head...an' it's like...I can feel 'em. You're so beautiful." She mumbled drowsily, cuddling close. Zexion didn't dare hope that what she'd just said hadn't been a slip of the tongue.

"You mean when I read, my voice is beautiful." He said, trying not to show that he currently could practically feel his stomach rolling in his throat. She shook her head, rolling her eyes and shaking her head in amused disdain.

"No, I _meant_ that you're beautiful." She said, giving him a sleepy look of exasperation. He said nothing as he watched her. She stared back. He didn't say a word until he picked up the book.

"Once, when the land held its' heart close, it would choose Knights to serve the hearts of all its' people..."


	31. Snuff out the Candle

(You guys need to let me know you're good with short updates, otherwise I angst about them like crazy and that's why this wasn't updated. But I just didn't know how to pimp it out properly! I just have what I gave you. As an apology, an update tomorrow as well; I'm really sorry. Plus, a One Great Circle update too!

So anyways, don't worry. This foreshadows a bit, but a lot of stuff does at this point. If you can put the pieces together, don't; I assure you, I'll throw you for a loop in the end. ^^

Also, getting to my PMs tomorrow. Just so y'all know!

Don't own KH; got it assigned to your memory in a coherent order?

(Oh, Axel.)

Anyways, dedicated to Rose, one of my super-awesome friends who knows nothing about this fandom but reads anyway. Go look her up on dA; she rocks hard. ^^)

* * *

Within the castle, everyone slept peacefully. Senayax was curled close to Zexion, breathing light and easy. However, something in her body was stirring, and it was with a little spark that the gears jolted awake and set themselves into motion.

Senayax had woken up for a moment, jolted out of sleep like she usually was every so often at night. She felt something warm and sticky between her legs, and she shuddered. She was so scared to check, but she had to...she didn't know what it was, but...

She touched herself gently, feeling something slick her fingers. She pulled them away and looked at them, her eyes suddenly getting wider.

Zexion was awakened by an ear-splitting scream. He shot up in bed and looked at the little girl in his bed, clutching her hand and screaming. "JESUS CHRIST, ZEXION! I'M BLEEDING TO DEATH!" She roared. He stared at the blood on her hands and then swore as the scent hit him.

"No, no you're not--" She'd already leapt off the bed and run down the steps, screaming for Vexen. Zexion groaned and followed after her, trying to catch up to her before she woke up the whole castle.

Vexen himself snuffled, shifting closer to Marluxia. He was half-awake, and just enjoying the feel of his lover's body against him. He closed his eyes, ready to fall back into sleep, when someone began to pound on the door, screaming his name.

"VEXEN! VEXEN! I'M BLEEDIN' TO DEATH!" Vexen started violently, and darted out of bed, opening the door. Senayax stood there, shrieking her head off. "Oh god and Christ, I'm going to die and bleed all over the couch!" Vexen was still half-asleep, and yawned widely before mumbling something unintelligble. "I AM _DYING_!" Senayax shrieked. "_CARE MORE_!"

"I'm sure it's just a flesh wound." Vexen grumbled, still annoyed about having been woken up. Then he noticed that her pants were the ones soaked in blood. He blinked. _Couldn't be...but... _He sighed. "Senayax, you're not bleeding to death. Did...did Larxene tell you..." He shuddered. "About your...period?" She blinked in suprise.

"Oh. Ohhh." She gasped. "Am I really bleeding t'death then?" She asked. Vexen sighed.

"No. No you're not, and I bet you scared the living daylights out of Zexion with your screaming, didn't you?" He said, already knowing the answer. She wilted.

"Well, it was an accident...and I didn't _know_!" She wailed in her defense. Vexen rolled his eyes, already hearing Zexion storm down the steps.

"Yaya!" He shrieked, barging into their room. "Oh my god, Yaya! Oh god, don't run off like that!" He clasped her close to him, shaking his head in both amusement and shock. She grinned weakly.

"Sorry, Zexion. I just...I thought I was bleeding t'death, and...and I need to go take a shower in the morning." She said, yawning. She rubbed her eyes, and looked up at him, eyes wide and innocent. "Can I go back to bed now?" She asked. Vexen grumbled, rolling his eyes. Zexion chuckled.

"Yes, I suppose so. Although I'm pretty sure Vexen's not too happy about being woken up." He remarked, stifling a yawn. Senayax bowed her head.

"Sorry, Vexen...I just got freaked out." She said. Vexen sighed, and hugged her.

"Don't worry about it too much, monster girl. I'll be fine. Now go to sleep, and Zexion--take care of her." He turned back to glare at Marluxia. "And of course, that idiot decides to sleep through all of this." He muttered darkly. Senayax giggled, as Zexion picked her up and they both vanished.

"I heard that, Vexen." Marluxia grumbled. Vexen laughed.

"You really are awake." He chuckled, getting back into bed. Marluxia huffed.

"Mm. And for that little comment, cutiepie, you owe me sex in the morning. And this time? I top." He mumbled sleepily, pulling Vexen towards him. Vexen groaned.

"Do you think about anything _other _than sex?" He snapped. Marluxia grinned in amusement as he stroked his lover's chest, rubbing his hand teasingly against the front of his pants.

"Yes. I do. I think about you." Marluxia said, smirking at him. Vexen rolled his eyes, but managed a smile before kissing Marluxia and falling back asleep.

Zexion reappeared back in their room, and set Senayax down gently, shifting her in his arms. He sat on the bed, trying to make some sort of arrangement out of the covers.

Senayax looked at her bloodsoaked pants and sighed. "I'm real sorry I ruined your pajamas, Zexion." She mumbled. Zexion smiled reassuringly, hugging her as he kissed her forehead.

"It's all right." He said. "How could you have known? Besides, we'll just wash them in the morning." She sighed and nodded, tugging at the waistband. Zexion tried to say something as she undressed, and suddenly found his tongue glued to the roof of his mouth. She groaned, rolling her eyes.

"They're sticky. So I'm just taking them off." She said, stretching and arching her back. Zexion swallowed. She got back in his bed, and looked at him, deleriously, deliciously, delectably _naked. _She smiled at him, and Zexion loathed himself for another instant before she patted the pillows next to her. "Sheesh, you're taking forever. Are you taking your clothes off too?"

If it had been any other situation, Zexion might have burst out laughing. But this was not the time. He sighed. "No. I'll be right in." He climbed into bed and closed his eyes, inhaling heavily and trying to muster up his courage. He needed...needed to try. He needed to test the water, see if she loved him like a child...or like a woman.

He looked at her, brushing his hair back slightly so both their eyes could meet. She stared back, eyes filled with curiousity and something...deeper. He kissed her mouth, gently, chastely. She kissed back with gentle care, licking his lips hesitantly. He moaned as he opened his mouth for her, letting her slip her tongue in and explore his mouth, utterly unresisting. She moaned quietly as she pulled away, shaking slightly. "Is...is that the sex?" She whispered.

Zexion stared at her. Then he swore heavily as he buried his face in his hands. "Ah, hell. No, no it's not, Yaya. It's...it's, it's kissing, only with your tongue, and you only do it with someone you _really _love. Sex is...sex. It's...it's tough to explain." She nodded, and cuddled close to him.

"I see." She said solemnly. Then she looked up at him. "Will you teach me sex?"

In that moment, he could've taken her. Spread her legs, rid himself of those now-painfully tight pants he'd insisted on wearing, and taught her _everything _she would need to know. But he wasn't utterly consumed by lust. What he wanted from her wasn't sex. It was adoration. It was love--something he needed, just to remember what a heart was like. When he was with her, whether or not something beat within his chest didn't matter to him. All that mattered was her voice, her eyes, her smile, her body, her scent, and his name on her lips. He sighed.

"I think you should ask Xemnas again. Since you already know the word, there's not really much we can do." He sighed in bemusement as he kissed her forehead. She blinked.

"Can...can we maybe kiss like that more? Cause I _really _really love you, Zexion. You know that?" She said, looking up at him and grinning. Zexion smiled, and pulled her close. He kissed her lips again, waiting for an instant. This time, she opened her lips without complaint, letting him in. He explored her mouth with deft care, sucking gently on her tongue for an instant before pulling away. He kissed her again before pulling her down on the bed with him.

"Yes. I do." He said softly, before both of them fell back asleep.

The others had woken earlier than them--Senayax was exhausted, and Zexion wasn't getting out of bed until she did. Vexen had woken up first, and immediately told the Superior about the night before.

Xemnas sighed, and dismissed him with a wave of his hand after he'd heard the story. Vexen stayed for another instant, reading the look on his friend's face. "Superior." He whispered. "What is on your mind?" Xemnas looked at him, and closed his eyes for a moment, shuddering.

"Vexen, she's...maturing." He said quietly. "And there was something...something I went for, back when I was attacked at Hollow Bastion. Teacher...teacher had said something awhile back, and it...it made me think." He pushed a book towards Vexen, and opened it to a marked page. Vexen skimmed the page quickly, eyes darting across the text.

_"On the matter of hearts, we must take note that even in lifeless conditions, life--and hearts--can grow anew. It would take care, a carrier, and a consciousness, but if that could be achieved, a being with heart could perhaps be born." _Vexen's eyes widened with realization.

"Superior...Superior, you can't...my _god_, Xemnas!" He roared, slamming his hands on his desk. Xemnas jumped. It was certainly unlike Vexen to snap, much less scream. His eyes narrowed.

"Vexen, calm yourself. You are a scientist. You know what this is for." He said calmly, watching Vexen start to shudder, curling his hands against the desk. Vexen snarled at him, jolting him out of his observations.

"_She is a child. _If you think...if you think, that I would inject...my god, what does she know? What _could_ she know?! You have no basis that this could work, and we don't even know if that's what he meant!" Vexen snapped. Xemnas closed his eyes, trying to fight down his own similar objections.

"I know. I know. It was merely something I'd happened upon. And it might become necessary. But not for a long time." He said quietly. "It will be our last resort, our last stab at existence. I know...it hurts me too. Don't you think it _hurts_?" He snarled, before he slumped his elbows on his desk and buried his head in his hands. "We all adore her. She is our tiny, fragile, precious little monster, truly a gift to us. We who lack hearts were given something to hold on to. Something that made us...remember living, and not sink into ourselves." His shoulders began to shake as he inhaled.

"I know that what I might have to ask of her would break her. Utterly ruin her. But what choice do I have? What if this is our only chance? Do I stand before them and tell them I've found a way to get our hearts back, but that it comes with a price? What would that do to them?" Xemnas said quietly. Vexen's eyes narrowed.

"They'll tell you what I am telling you now! That the price is _too high! _That would be a fine way to repay the girl who has given us a light to grasp in the darkness! Break her beyond repair! Would we push her deeper down into the darkness so we could clamber into the light?! I say this to you now not as a scientist, but as your friend, who seems to have more sense than you right now!" He leaned in closer, and looked at Xemnas, who held his gaze.

"_This is insane. _Don't you dare do it, Xemnas. She will not become our sacrificial lamb." He stood, and turned to leave the office, not even waiting for Xemnas's dismissal. Xemnas could only stare back at the place where Vexen had been. He closed his eyes, and shook his head, before looking up at Kingdom Hearts.

"Ah, Vexen." He sighed. "You're right. We paid the price for our experiments before...and we won't do it again."

Yet within himself, he already knew it might come to that.

In his mind, he saw a candle flicker and dim.


	32. Sunset Watchers

(Okay so updates might be a bit slow for a few reasons. One; NEW SECTIONS OF PLOT OMG. Two, my pacing started to suck ass around here, which I really only noticed when I tried to segue them into chapters. Way to go, self. Three, I am working on a schedule! Prequel-writing and the other mystery fic are alternating on my documents, so they're taking up my time.

OGC will be updated today if I have any luck. Yeah that's weirdly bitchy to write; probably because I'm like OMG SHORT UPDATES I FAIL AS A WRITER so if someone could kick me out of that emo wangst I'd be grateful so I could get to updating, thank you.

ALSO yeah I'm really sorry AGAIN. **PM**s **WILL BE DEALT WITH TODAY AND TOMORROW BECAUSE GOD KNOWS I SUCK AT ANSWERING MESSAGES. **Also someone help me with AIM I suck at it. D:

Don't own, never did, never will, and I eagerly await the day where I can stop typing that.

Dedicated to all the unloved badasses in all my favorite video games. ^^)

* * *

Senayax yawned, looking at the blood coating her thighs. She shifted in bed and sat up, wincing at the awful throbbing in her legs. "Zexion? Are you awake?" She whispered, leaning over him and whispering into his ear. He opened his eyes to see her above him, still as naked as she had been the night before. He sat up and smiled at her, ignoring her state of undress.

"Yes." He said, standing up and helping her off the bed. "Morning, Yaya." He murmured, hugging her tight. She murmured in pleasure, content in his arms as he held her close and kissed her forehead.

She yawned before she kissed him again, and then asked, "I need a shower. Do you want to...you know, come in? I think it would help if you could clean the blood off with me." She looked nauseous, shuddering with a feverish chill. "I don't feel so good."

Zexion nodded and picked her up. She nuzzled his neck as they both disappeared, reappearing in the bathroom. The two needed no words exchanged to get ready; they both went their separate ways to prepare. She turned the knobs and the water gushed down as Zexion undressed, shivering at the sudden shock of cold. She handed him the soap, and he didn't even let himself think as he slicked his hands and stroked her thighs.

The water turned pink as it swirled down the drain, tiny bits of foam being carried away in a steady stream. Senayax moaned softly as he washed the blood off, hugging him tightly. "Oh...oh, Zexion, that feels so good." She whispered. Zexion purred in pleasure and stroked her inner thigh, letting himself get closer and closer. She kissed him again, shuddering in his grasp. Zexion finally let the world slam back to him, and he remembered she was still a child. He kissed her again and smiled, letting his fingers trail away to stroke her back.

"Dear little heart," he said softly, "I have many things to make you feel better. However, you have to learn the basics first." He teased. She nodded, blushing at his small smile.

"Um, could you start teaching me?" She asked shyly, trying to hide herself under his arm as she looked up at him. He laughed.

"I'd love to, except I happened to _hear _Axel and Roxas, and I think they're ready to gut me as-is. I have a mission with Xemnas--I'll be back before bed, but in the meantime, you should go have fun with everyone else. Okay?" He murmured, picking her up and carrying her out of the shower. She nodded and kissed him again as they disappeared to their room. They dried off quickly, shaking the water out of their hair and helping the other dry off. Zexion knew he shouldn't have been surprised, but he still was slightly stunned to turn around and see Senayax blink back sudden tears.

She was determined, stance set and fists clenched. She looked up at him and squeezed his hand, making him focus on her. "I'm gonna miss you so much...please be careful, okay? If...if you're in danger, I'll come save you." Her eyes became dark, and her upper lip curled into a snarl. "Even if I hafta bring him out. I..." She shook her head, dismissing the troubling thoughts from her mind. "I will! I'll do it! I won't ever let you get hurt, Zexion!" He nodded and pulled her close, stroking her hair and trying not to cry.

"I'll miss you too. It's all right. Be brave, okay? You are a very brave little girl. I promise you that I will come home safe. Now, you can get dressed, and then walk me to Xemnas's office. Sound okay?" He replied, holding her as close as he could, kissing her at every pause in his words. She giggled.

"Okay!" She chirped, wriggling playfully out of his grasp and darting over to her closet. Her smile warmed him, and he leaned his head back, savoring the moment as she went deep into her closet and got dressed.

Today she'd picked a big rainbow tie-dyed shirt, a pair of sky-blue capri pants and, god help him, yellow sneakers. She grinned at him and stuck out her tongue as she put on a chunky pink bracelet and a bright green necklace. At that last accessory, his dam of self-control broke and he finally just had to laugh. "You just like to dress oddly, don't you?" He teased, smiling slightly at her and her outfit both. Her only response was a gap-toothed grin growing wider.

He sighed and did a poor job of hiding his amusement, which both of them knew for a fact. He kissed her again, and as he shrugged his coat on, he could only shake his head in amusement, at a loss for words. She _glowed, _compared to the rest of this world. He chuckled quietly to himself as she took his hand and squeezed it gently.

The rainbow shirts and pink hair did a lot for that, though.

They headed down the steps, neither of them needing to speak as their footfalls echoed around the stairway. Zexion didn't let his worries about her loneliness overtake him; in return, Senayax didn't let her agonized prayers for his safety show. They held hands as tightly as they could, heading downstairs and meeting Xemnas and Saix at the foot of the steps. Xemnas nodded, acknowledging them both. He raised an eyebrow at Senayax's outfit, but she simply grinned at him. He huffed in amusement, knowing there was no point in arguing.

Zexion hugged her tightly as Xemnas watched them both with an unreadable expression. "Love you both so much." She whispered, playing with a few strands of his hair. "Come home safe, okay?" She pleaded. Zexion merely nodded, unable to speak.

Saix pulled Xemnas close and kissed him with desperate abandon, trying to keep him as close as possible in the few moments he still had left. "Master, merely send a sign to us. We will come to you, I swear this." He murmured. Xemnas smiled and kissed him back, tucking a few strands of hair behind his pet's ear, kissing the tip and listening to his surprised mewl.

"I promise, sweetheart." He purred, holding him close as Senayax kissed him as well, standing on tiptoe to reach his cheek. When Xemnas and Saix returned to kissing, she turned to Zexion and faked a gag at their celluloid soppiness. He laughed, and she gave Xemnas a quick, teasing grin when he glowered at them both. She turned back to Zexion, and abruptly hugged him as tight as she possibly could.

"I love you, Zexion." She whispered, soft enough so that not even Saix heard. "Please come home safe." She kissed his cheek, and held his hand as the Corridor of Darkness swallowed him and Xemnas up. Her eyes welled with tears, but she shook them away as quickly as they came.

"I'll be all right!" She said, smiling as she spoke to herself. Then she turned to Saix, eyes wide and filled with tears that she refused to let fall. She tugged on the sleeve of his coat for a moment as he looked down to listen to her. "Everyone's got th' day off, right? Let's go an' see what they're doing!" Saix sighed, biting his lip and looking away.

She took Saix's hand and looked up at him. He couldn't tear his eyes away. She simply observed him silently, before squeezing his hand gently. "You miss him already, don'tcha? That's okay. I miss Zexion already too. Come on, we can go bother Axel." She stood on her tiptoes, and hugged him tightly. Saix nodded, and she smiled, turning and darting down the hall, beckoning to him. Saix could only follow, thinking about his master and how he hoped he was all right.

* * *

Axel poked the younger boy on his lap, and whined pitifully when he swatted his wandering hand away. "Roxas, let's go to Twilight Town. We can go get ice cream, and then as your way of thanking me for being such a wonderful and considerate boyfriend, you can enthusiastically have sex with your lover, right?" He said cheerfully. Roxas tilted his head up to glare at his boyfriend as he rolled his eyes.

"Axel, unless you'd appreciate sleeping on the couch tonight, you will not bribe me with sea-salt ice cream. Unless you've got it now, in which case..." His eyes lit up hopefully. Axel snorted.

"Naah, Roxy. Seriously, d'ya wanna go to Twilight Town? I can hear a certain little freakshow running down the hall already." He said, nodding towards the door. Senayax promptly burst into the lounge, Saix right behind her. Axel snorted. "What'd I tell ya?" Roxas slid off Axel's lap as he stood to hug Saix. "Hey, puppy." He said softly. "What's wrong?" Saix sighed.

"I'm just very worried about Xemnas, Lea. I know how much you still loathe him, but...he's still my lover, and he has claimed me as his own. And I worry for him." Saix murmured, shuddering as he shook his head in pain. Axel sighed.

"Yeah, yeah. Christ, I still wish I could kill him for what he did. On a different subject--" Saix's lips twitched in a gesture of amusement, remembering his friend did have a tendency to change subjects mid-conversation, "Roxy-bang and I are gonna head to Twilight Town, just for the hell of it. Also, if I buy him sea-salt ice cream, there is always the wonderfully tantalizing possibility of getting laid. For hours." He grinned, clearly enjoying Roxas' flushed face. Saix rolled his eyes.

"That's lovely, Lea. I would adore hearing more about the details of your bedroom games, but I must decline, considering there is a little girl watching us intently at the moment--oh and also, I'm not a massive pervert, unlike, well, you." Saix cracked a rare smile, and Axel had to laugh. Senayax pouted.

"S'anyone ever gonna tell me about this?" She grumbled. Roxas sighed.

"Maybe later. When you're older, and I've murdered Zexion in his sleep." He muttered darkly. Her eyes got wide.

"Ohh, don't do that! You wouldn't do that, Roxas!" She gasped in amazement and fear as she stared at him. "Please don't hurt Zexion! You're a good person, Roxas! I know you wouldn't!" She cried, shaking her head in denial. He groaned.

"Ohhh yes, I would. He keeps doing what he's doing and I will_ murder _him." He snarled. The Keyblade wielder was enraged, enough so that his blade was now clenched in his hand as he tensed, eyes going cold and dark. Senayax tilted her head, utterly confused and more than a little scared. Axel sighed.

"Rox, this isn't really the time. Come on, let's just go have fun, okay?" He said. Roxas nodded, still looking slightly annoyed as the corridor opened and they headed towards Twilight Town.

The town was like something out of a storybook. The whole landscape was perpetually shaded autumnal gold, as if it spent its' whole day waiting for the sunset. The buildings were packed close together, cozy and leaning on one another as if they were cuddling lovers. The streets were peppered with smooth, shiny cobblestones along each side of a train track made of sunset-shaded adobe.

Stalwart trees guarded each side of the gates in and out, rising high above the gates of the town itself and standing tall above the skyline. It was quiet, peaceful and pleasant as the four Organization members arrived through the gate and entered Twilight Town.

Roxas immediately went for the ice cream shop, ignoring the rest of the bright, cheerful buildings and practically running the whole way there. Axel snorted, and followed behind, as Senayax looked up at the town. "Ohh...it's so pretty here." She murmured softly.

For her, it was; in her eyes, the whole town had an odd sort of picturesque quality, with bright and cheerful signs on the shops, brick towers and bridges, and a massive clock tower that seemed to keep watch over the whole town. It was like nowhere else she'd ever been, and if she could've felt it, she knew she would've been excited.

Saix tilted his head up and stared at the sun, the blue sky beyond it vivid and perfect. "Yes." He said quietly. "It is." Senayax looked at Roxas, already back with an ice cream for each of them. He promptly shoved his own in his mouth and purred in ecstasy, moaning as he licked it. Axel stared, trying to be discreet and failing miserably. Saix snorted. "Lea, try to be more subtle about that turning you on." His friend glared at him.

"All right, you try watching your boyfriend deep-throat a popsicle and then _you_ can try not to get aroused." He grumbled, looking back at Roxas and fixing him with a death glare. Saix laughed as the two followed Roxas and Senayax while they began to explore.

Senayax looked around eagerly, trying to pinpoint a good spot to climb up on and see the town. Roxas hung back, waiting to see how long it would take for her to discover her way up. After a few minutes of pacing around, Senayax jumped up and clambered onto the roof of the ice cream shop, laughing as she stood on the edge of the balcony. Roxas followed suit, and Senayax promptly poked him.

"Tag!" She said, before fleeing from him, darting across the path between the tops of the buildings. Roxas followed suit, trying to catch up. She was laughing hysterically, squealing with mock terror as Roxas darted after her. Axel and Saix sighed, Axel hiding a hint of a smile as Saix grumbled in annoyance, shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked up at them.

"Should we go get them?" He asked, gesturing to the two younger Nobodies. Axel laughed, shrugging in mock dismay as he headed towards the clock tower.

"Yeah, I suppose. Xemnas wouldn't be too happy if they fell off the roof." He said, waving a hand in the air as he dismissed his concern. Saix rolled his eyes.

"Such concern for your lover, Lea." He muttered, shooting a death-glare at his friend. Axel snorted.

"Isa, my darling puppy, I'm totally used to this. Roxas does this all the time. Come on, let's see if we can catch up." He said, as the two followed them up over the building tops, trying in vain to keep pace.

Senayax was panting in exhaustion, sitting on the clock tower's edge with Roxas. The two had chased each other up here before getting exhausted; Roxas had finally given in and shown her where to see the town. "Sheesh, you sure can run fast." Roxas said with a twinge of shock. She grinned weakly at him.

"Ahuh. I'm just cool like that." She said, breathing heavily as she talked, making gestures with her hands rather than waste air on speaking. Roxas laughed.

"Found you!" Axel crowed, Saix following behind. Roxas jumped.

"Oh hey, Axel!" He said, turning to grin at the redhead. His boyfriend rolled his eyes, and sat next to him.

"Don't 'hey Axel' me, Roxy. D'ya know how fast I had to run to find you?" He grumbled. Roxas laughed, and kissed his cheek.

"It's good excercise, cutie. Behave yourself." He teased. Axel rolled his eyes as he stuck the ice cream in his mouth, making a face at Roxas. Senayax poked hers with her tongue and tilted her head, deep in thought. Th' moon tols' her she had to ask something...something important.

"Ummm, Roxas?" She asked quietly. "Why did you want t'murder Zexion?" Roxas started, before he realized what she'd said and turned to stare at her. Saix raised an eyebrow, looking at Axel, who sighed and mouthed "_Don't interfere_," as they watched the two children talking.

"Because he wants to have sex with you." Roxas said bluntly. Senayax wrinkled her nose.

"No he doesn't. He tol' me so." She said firmly, shaking her head in dismay. "Asides, s'like...sex? Why is it so bad?" She asked, suddenly confused as sex was brought up once again. Roxas sighed.

"Because it's something personal, romantic, and not to be done with kids." He replied. She sighed and leaned her head back to stare up at the sky. She stayed that way for a long time, simply watching the earth move around her. Suddenly, she closed her eyes and tilted her head again, something she hadn't done in front of them since they'd told her about Hollowmoon.

"I'm not a kid, Roxas." She whispered. They all tensed at the tone in her voice; it had gone blank, airless, inhuman and so completely alien and not her own that it was almost terrifying. "I have a monster living inside me. I can't call myself...a kid. I don't know what that makes me, but I'm not a child, if nothing else." She said, her tone slightly bitter even as it returned to itself. Roxas shook his head viciously, trying to shake the fear from his mind and reply.

"But you're still _young_. He wants you, and...and it's just sick! I can't even, I can't...it's not right. He wants you, and you don't even...god _dammit!" _He shrieked, closing his eyes and slamming his hands against the stone balcony in disgust. Axel put a hand on his shoulder, waiting for him to look up and meet his eyes before kissing his forehead.

"Babe, I'm nineteen--you're almost fifteen. That's not the same, but it's damn close. You know, you haven't asked how she feels..." He sighed and turned to Senayax, who had regarded them with a cool, distant gaze the entire time. "Oi, Yaya...what do you feel? For him?" He asked, unsure if he wanted an answer. She paused, considering something for a moment. No one else had taken over her thoughts, and it was clear it was only her mind and her thoughts making the decision. After a moment, she smiled.

"I love him." She whispered. "He's...so nice to me. An'...an' I...I jus'...it's hard to explain. You know s'like our emotions are caged off from us, but I think...sometimes they can slip through, an' then I look at him, an'...an' I feel _different. _I mean...I feel so much for you guys, so happy, so...loved, but...I don't know." She sighed. "When those bits of emotion slip out of their cage...I look at y'all, an' I think, 'this is my family. This is my home'. When I look at him, it's like...I think, 'this is love. This is my heart."

She smiled as she pressed a hand against her chest. "Nothin' beats here, but if I look at him, it doesn't matter anymore."

Roxas blinked, slightly stunned by the declaration. Axel and Saix both shared a pleased smile. Roxas sighed, running a hand through his hair and trying to think about what to say. "Please be careful, then." He replied. "If you love him...then okay. But please, just...if he does anything, you need to know you can rely on us, if nothing else. We'll keep you safe and strong." She tilted her head and nodded. But then, with a small sigh, she closed her eyes.

"What if I want it?" She whispered. They all fell silent. She sighed, tugging on a few strands of her hair. "Cause...cause he's touched me, an' kissed me. And it's felt real nice. But...I don't know what happens if it goes further, cause no one will tell me." She managed a pout through her confusion. Roxas snarled.

"God _dammit! _I hate him so much right now, it's not even funny! Axel, for god's sake, are we not getting the same vibes here?" He said, turning to glare at his boyfriend. Axel sighed.

"I know, Roxas. But...if it's not such a foreign thing to her, maybe it'll help. You can't really stop her loving him, can ya? If anything, he feels terrible about this, and its' only sick because she doesn't know. Other than that, age doesn't matter, and even if it did," he drawled, "he's not _that _old. Hell, he's younger than I am." He said, shrugging and shaking his head, unsure of what to say to get Roxas' rage to abate. Roxas sighed.

"So your course of action is to teach her about the sex that she shouldn't really be having." He muttered in disgust. "Axel..." Axel pulled him into a kiss and then pulled away an instant later, looking at Roxas pointedly.

"Babe. What we just did? Same as what he's been doing to her. She's just like you. You're almost the same age. He loves her, and she loves him. If you don't want her to get hurt, you shouldn't hide everything from her." He reminded him, kissing his cheek and grinning as he leaned against his smaller lover. Roxas sighed and hugged him tightly.

"I know, Axel...but...I heard...the Superior..." Roxas started to try to gather his thoughts on what he'd heard Vexen and Xemnas discuss, but he was interrupted as Saix snorted in contempt.

"Let's not start blaming everything on my master, please. He's not here to defend whatever it was, and since I am not privvy to what he was saying, I can neither defend him in his stead nor explain his actions." He said, tilting his head back and sighing in exasperation. Senayax stared at all of them, before finally smiling.

"Um, Roxas? Whatever it was, I'll be okay. Don't worry about me. I know what I'm doing." She grinned. "I want this." Roxas sighed.

"All right...I trust you, and I know you'll be sensible. Just..." He trailed off, no longer wanting to talk about what he'd heard that morning. He sighed. "Ah, hell with it. Let's just watch the sky."

Everyone was happy to oblige, and for a long while, they tilted their heads up and stared at the sky, which was still a vivid, almost surreal blue.

Senayax had fallen asleep on Axel's shoulder a long time back, worn out from the discussion. He had let her sleep without any complaints, stroking her hair and twirling it around his fingers. Roxas stared up at the sunset, and finally said, "She's going to want to see this." Axel nodded, and nudged her. She opened her eyes, and looked up.

"Issat...a sunset?" She mumbled. Roxas laughed.

"Yeah. You've never seen a proper one from up here in such a nice place, have you? Never Was doesn't have them..." He said. She nodded.

"Ahuh. Just...strange looking." She tilted her head and stared intently at it. "Like someone set fire to the sky..." She watched it with the rest of them as the colors dimmed, and night began to fall. She closed her eyes. "If it's night...we should get back, shouldn't we? Xemnas and Zexion said...they'd be back before bed..." Roxas nodded.

"I guess. Also, I'm starving. Let's go get dinner." He stated, beckoning to the others. She laughed.

"Ahuh! Come on!" She said, summoning a corridor and standing up. The corridor opened up, and she was the first one in, darting right through the darkness. The others rolled their eyes, and followed suit, secretly amused by her enthusiasm.

Senayax burst into the lounge within another instant, almost tripping over her own feet. She stood up and bounced on the balls of her feet, clapping her hands together as her necklace clanked against her chest.

"Zexion! Zexion, I saw a sunset, and--" She stopped, realizing he wasn't in the lounge. She blinked. "Zexion?" Marluxia tilted his head up, noticing her. He winced, really not looking forward to breaking the news.

"Kitten, we got a message from the Superior. They're not coming back until tomorrow...or later, even. Whatever they're doing...it must be pretty important." He said quietly, sighing in dismay. She stared at him, unable to comprehend what he'd told her for a moment.

Then she burst into tears and threw herself on the floor, her head buried in her arms. She curled herself into a tight little ball, and began to sob. "But he _said! _He said he'd be back! He _promised!" _She wailed. Saix had come in behind her, with Axel and Roxas in tow. He looked at Marluxia, eyes wide.

"Xemnas...is gone?" He whispered. Axel and Roxas tensed, worried about what his reaction would be. Marluxia sighed, and nodded.

"Yeah. Plus, he didn't tell us where he was--I think he knew you'd both drop everything and chase after them. I guess it's a secret." He looked at him, and raised an eyebrow. "Are you all right, Saix?" He asked. Saix could only nod.

"I am, Marluxia. Just very concerned." He replied, as he knelt next to Senayax and stroked her hair. "Yaya, it'll be all right. I'm sure they're safe."He said, pulling her closer. She wailed in agony and shook her head.

"H-he promised! He did promise, he _said_!" She sobbed, beating her hands against her knees. "I want him back! This isn't FAIR!" She wailed. Saix nodded.

"I know it's not fair, Yaya. But you can be brave, right?" She opened her eyes, now bloodshot and red-rimmed. She sniffled pathetically and nodded, steadying herself slightly under their gazes.

"Guess so...I...I wanna go to bed now." She whispered. Saix wanted to pull rank on the little girl, insist that she come to dinner. But he couldn't. He didn't want her to think that he would do something so awful. He mentally fidgeted, trying to figure out what to do.

Axel promptly threw her over his shoulder and started up the steps to the kitchen.


	33. The Last Stand of a Fallen King

(ALL OF THIS was newly written except for the bit with Senayax. So this update was WAAAAAY late for a reason, and I'm very sorry.

Ansem is just so badass. Corey Burton might be coming back for Birth By Sleep, but as far as I'm concerned, Ansem will always be Christopher Lee's voice for me. Hell, I could probably totally pretend it's him talking over Corey Burton; I know his voice that well!

If this chapter doesn't make you cry or at least D: then I have failed as a writer and must retire as a hermit. So yeah. Not much to say except the next update will be on time! ^^

Dedicated to everyone I love and then some!

Don't own anything except Yaya and Hollowmoon.)

* * *

Senayax's eyes were filled with tears as she ate, and she wasn't meeting anyone's eyes. She hunched her shoulders, trying desperately not to cry. Everyone let her be, and did their best to not make the matter worse. She looked up at all of them just as she finished and whispered, "I'm really sorry..." She darted out of the kitchen and rushed down the hall with one sudden bolt from the table, clearly trying to stifle her sobs all the way down the hall. Demyx sighed and shook his head in disgust.

"You know, he really should have just come back." He grumbled, leaning back in his chair and using Peggy as support. Axel shrugged.

"We can keep her entertained throughout the day, so that's not it... See, I think, and I know that this will sound horrible, but she just likes sleeping in his bed with him. She feels safe there." He sighed. "Can't be helped. Besides, her 'emotions' or whatever are totally out of whack right now." He said in amusement. Xigbar snorted.

"She's not as bad as Larxene." He said dryly. Lexaeus glared at him, but Larxene did him one better and socked Xigbar in the side of the head. He hissed in pain and glared at her while Demyx giggled. "See? See!" He yelped, wincing as she glared at him. Lexaeus sighed.

"You really shouldn't punch him. It will only encourage them." He told her, hiding a smile. Larxene rolled her eyes.

"Puh-leaze." She grumbled. "Come on, Lexy, I want some chocolate." She ordered. The hero laughed, and stood to raid the cabinets for her.

* * *

Zexion felt his hands shaking under his gloves as he surveyed Halloweentown. The streets were packed with creatures; there was to be a celebration tonight. Not only was the growing crowd beginning to warp his emotions and make him panicky, the fact that night had most certainly fallen and Senayax would have been back home by now was tearing into him like a knife. He was completely aware of the time; it was as if it was now a slow, descending line of agony through his thoughts.

He was painfully aware of each passing moment as the minutes ticked by; minutes he could've been home with Senayax, apologizing to her, making sure she was safe, reading to her, simply being with her and holding her close. They began to move through him like a rut, cutting already well-worn paths through his mind, taunting him with her inevitable sadness and loneliness...

_Would she be angry at him?_ The thought came to him unbidden, startling him out of his spiral. He shuddered, feeling bile rise in his throat. No. No, she wouldn't be angry. She'd hold her arms out, open wide to gather him into a hug and kiss him for coming home safe. She had _promised _she'd never hate him.

_But you broke _your _promise. _The little voice reminded him. He bit back an anguished scream. "I didn't mean to, Yaya," he whispered. "I'm so sorry. So very, very sorry."

Suddenly, Zexion felt Xemnas' hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see him staring out at the sea of grotesqueries with disgust, shaking his head. "Any luck finding Finklestein, Zexion?" He asked. Zexion shook his head. Xemnas sighed, tilting his head back to stare at the swollen, pus-colored moon. "I loathe this place." He murmured. "I may have found Saix here, but...this place is _rotten, _Ienzo. Don't let it get to you. That's an order." He told the younger boy. Zexion nodded.

"I understand, Xeh. From the looks of things, this party is being held in celebration of the _Heartless, _of all creatures, so I doubt that inflicting this world with darkness is really that much of a Herculean feat." He teased. Xemnas shook his head, and Zexion immediately became serious again. Something about his Superior was...off. He tugged gently on his sleeve. "Xeh? Are you all right? Do you wish to return home?" He asked, secretly hopeful. Xemnas shook his head.

"No; we came here for a reason, Zexion. I'll be fine. Stay here, please; I wish to explore this world from another angle. I'll let you know when I need you." He told the younger boy, kissing the top of his head before disappearing into the darkness. Zexion watched him leave before muttering a dark oath and throwing one of his books at the wall, watching it sink into the darkness before reappearing back in his hand within an instant.

He watched the denizens of Halloweentown cavort past him, most dressed in shabby, pseudo-elegant clothing as they arrived in the town square. He shivered with sudden cold, a corpse-stench permeating his senses and making him wail quietly with pain. The monsters themselves seemed to be stepped within their own muck and disgusting smell, completely unaware that they walked in such filth. Zexion shuddered. He could see without even having to think on it much just why Xeh hated this town.

"Kree." Zexion was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of a small Shadow, which now sat quietly at his feet, almost as if it was being polite. Zexion looked down at him and raised an eyebrow. The Shadow blinked. "Kree." It said again. Zexion managed to let his thoughts return to him enough to wave.

"Salutations." He replied, fully aware of how stiff and formal he sounded. "How are you?" The Shadow didn't reply for a long time. It sat and watched him, before its' head suddenly shot up and it began to point frantically at his chest. Zexion shook his head.

"No, little beast." He said. "I don't have a heart." Almost as if mocking him, a pang of "sadness" rung through him as he said it. He winced. "There's nothing for you to take." The Shadow seemed to understand, and simply nodded. Then it spoke once more.

"Kree; kree, reep." It said, tapping his lexicon before sinking its' teeth into his calf and disappearing into the darkness. Zexion yelped with pain, trying, (too late), to shake the Heartless off. He hissed in pain before examining his leg and realizing with a slight twinge of shock that there were no real wounds on his leg. He raised an eyebrow before examining his lexicon. The little beast had been tapping it while speaking...did he expect him to translate?

Zexion had assembled a small cipher for human-to-Heartless communication a long time back; it had simply come into being through exposure to the creatures. Plus, the fact that his more arcane knowledge came mostly from the darkness helped. With a small, dry smirk, he opened his book and began to skim through the lines until he found the translation texts. He surveyed them all until his eyes widened with shock at what the Shadow had said.

_She needs you. Hurry back. _

He shuddered. "How could you know that, little Shadow?" He whispered. "How do you know who she is?"

Knowing he wouldn't get an answer, he sighed in annoyance and shut his lexicon. "But I can't go home." He replied, speaking to the Heartless who had long disappeared. "This is a mission. The Superior needs me to stay here."

_She's hurting. _

For some reason, this last thought made him snap. "I KNOW SHE'S HURTING!" He screamed at the quickly-darkening sky. "I KNOW SHE MISSES ME! I KNOW SHE NEEDS ME!" He exhaled, a small, shaky breath rattling in his throat. "But I have to stay. I..." He buried his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, Yaya..." He whispered. "I'm so sorry..."

With a heavy heart and guilt clinging to him like a physical ache, he surveyed the citizens of Halloweentown, corpse-reek still niggling at his senses as he searched in vain for Finklestein.

* * *

Ansem sighed, a heavy heart weighing on him as he watched Namine sleep. The little Nobody witch was curled up deep within her blankets, sleeping peacefully, small, contented breaths making her chest rise and fall as she shifted slightly ever so often in her bed. He was surprised to feel the painfully familiar overprotective rage steal over him as he watched her in her bed, so painfully beautiful and fragile. It was a protective instinct he hadn't felt in a long time; in fact, not since his sons had left him. He was uncertain as to why it had chosen now to come back, but as he looked down at Namine, he realized he didn't care.

"I won't fail this time, Namine." He whispered. "I will protect you. I swear it. I'm done with failing. I...am a _king." _As he said those words, ten years fell away from Ansem's face and he became the wise, bold ruler he had been so long ago. "I am a king of a fallen kingdom, true; but it is still my kingdom and _I still rule._" He couldn't help but smile as she yawned in her sleep, a tiny, almost kitten-like yawn displaying her small, soft pink mouth before she nestled deeper into her covers. "Fear nothing, Namine." He whispered. "You may not feel emotion, but regardless of whether or not that's completely true...you need _not _fear. I will be by your side, Namine. I will protect you and keep you safe. I swear it upon my honor as the ruler of Radiant Garden, Ansem the Wise."

He brushed a few strands of silky white-blonde hair away from her forehead and kissed it gently, feeling her warm, soft skin under his lips. He pulled away and pulled the blankets up snugly around her. "I will be back soon, Namine; sleep well, my little witchling. All will be well when you wake."

With a swish of his coat, the king departed the room and headed into his small lab, typing in some coordinates for his personal gummi ship. He got in with haste, eager to reach his destination. The happiness and almost childlike eagerness in his heart was enough to spur the ship on towards where he wanted it to be. Within about fifteen minutes, he realized that he had reached his destination.

Home. A fallen, broken home, but home nonetheless.

_Hollow Bastion._

Without a backward glance at the ship, he strode forward towards the decrepit castle, head held high as he headed for its' doors. They swung open at his touch; he barely needed to push on them to walk in. As he did, he was overtaken by an all-consuming feeling of familiarity; the shelves lay untouched, still stuffed with books right to the gills as they stood like paper guardians to his castle doors. He smiled, stroking their dusty, well-worn spines as he headed for the spiral staircase that would lead him right up to his old office.

For a few minutes, the only thing he heard was the swish of his coat against dusty steps and the sound of his own footfalls upon the creaky stairway. Then, as he began to reach the head of the steps and start towards his office, he realized he could hear someone else in his castle. He tensed, unsure of what to do. He was no longer the world's most capable fighter; time and fate had seen to that, but he was still able and ready to defend his castle.

But for some reason, this intruder seemed...familiar. Like, whoever it was, they knew this place as well as he did. So he called out into the soft, barely-audible din, "Hello? Is someone there?"

He was surprised by the sudden, sharp gasp. Once he'd placed the voice, the surprise swamped him even more as he tore for the door like a man half his age. "Xehanort?" He called, voice thick with sudden emotion as he shouted, "_Xehanort!" _

There was silence between him and the door for a moment. Then a pained, agonizingly young voice shouted back, "_Teacher? _Teacher, is that you?" The door opened without a moment's hesitation as Xemnas stood in the doorway, eyes wide with amazement and bright with tears. Ansem realized with a twinge of self-loathing that he had been ready to fight; yet his son, who was supposed to be the villain spoiling for a fight, was looking up at him as if he was a child again, awe and joy in his eyes.

"Teacher." He breathed, eyes bright with excitement. "Teacher, it _is _you." Xemnas managed to pull himself together and look more like a reasonable young man now. "Why are you here?" He asked. Ansem was still trying to pull his thoughts together as he watched his son, but he did manage to answer.

"This was my castle, Xehanort. I suppose I have the right, do I not?" He replied, wincing slightly as Xemnas flinched with pain. Now with his eyes downcast and glued to the floor, he whispered something to Ansem that made his blood freeze in his veins.

"Do I have the right, teacher?" He whispered. "Do I have the right to come home again?"

Ansem stood there, unsure of what to tell him. As he looked into the amber, golden-bright eyes of his son, he wasn't sure what to tell him. He wanted to reassure him everything would be all right. He wanted to take him into his arms and tell him how much he loved him and how proud he was of him, even after all this time. But he knew that time had long passed. So he could only nod.

"This is your castle as well, Xehanort," he murmured, "just as much as it was ever mine."

He could only watch with detached horror as Xemnas broke down into tears, unsure of what to say, simply mouthing the words, '_Teacher, teacher' _over and over as he looked up at Ansem with dead, terrified eyes.

Suddenly, Ansem stopped caring if the time for holding his son had passed. He gathered him into his arms without a second thought, feeling Xemnas' sobs thrumming through his body and mimicking his own heartbeat, his tears soaking through his jacket and chilling him to the bone.

"What will you do if you come back, Xehanort?" He whispered. "How do you think you could ever come back?" He seemed to have said the magic words to his son; Xemnas immediately brightened up and looked up to face him.

"I know, teacher. I've sinned. We all have." A dry grin spread across his features, and his normal wry humor returned for a moment. "But we did it for _science_, so it's okay." He said. Ansem sighed.

"Xehanort...what you've done is something that can never be undone. I know you are aware of this. But...I know you. You have a plan, Xehanort." He said coolly. Xemnas nodded, a small smile forming on his lips.

"You are correct as always, teacher. I have a plan to give us our hearts back." He said, smiling to himself as the idea blossomed in his mind. "It will work. I'm sure of it." Ansem sighed.

"Then what, Xehanort? What will you do?" He asked. Xemnas scrunched up his nose in thought, and for all the world, while he was in this study, he appeared to be a sixteen year old boy again, precocious and so very painfully young. It almost hurt Ansem to look at him, but he kept his gaze steady as Xemnas thought.

"I guess we'll come back home. We'll try to fix Hollow Bastion and come back and live at Radiant Garden. We'll bring everyone with us this time. Saix has to come with me, obviously, and the rest of us have...companions...now. This is my home. It will be beautiful, just like before! And we'll live here...and be happy. We'll get to feel happy again." He whispered, amazement spreading across his features.

That was the last straw for Ansem. He finally broke down and wept. Xemnas blinked, utterly shocked as he watched his father break down in front of him. "Teacher? Teacher?" He rushed to the man's side, shaking his shoulder and trying to get him to look at him. Ansem hugged him tightly without warning, causing Xemnas to squeak softly with surprise as Ansem held him close.

"Xehanort. Listen to me. You must lead the others, Xeh. I know you can. If this is what you want to see happen...if you want to come home...you'll have to lead the way, Xehanort. Please promise me you'll lead as benevolently as I did. Please do what you think is right, Xehanort. I don't care about a lack of hearts--I know you can still understand right and wrong. _Please_, Xeh," he pleaded, "do this for me."

Xemnas was silent for a long time. Then he nodded. "I can't make any promises." He replied. "A Nobody's word is perhaps not the best to swear an oath upon. But I swear to you not as Xemnas, your enemy, but as Xehanort, your Apprentice, that I will do my best."

Ansem held him ever closer, arms trembling with the strength he'd put into them just to hold his son close. "Xehanort...you are my Apprentice. But you are, above all, my son. Don't forget that." He said gently, brushing a bit of his silver hair behind his ear. "You may not feel love, but I do. You are still my son, Xehanort, whatever happens."

Ansem looked away as Xemnas took a book and disappeared from the study, but he heard the small sob. He wasn't sure whether it was from joy or sorrow, and then decided it was a mix of both.


	34. Inside Your Mind

(The first and foremost thing I want to note is that none of this will spoil much about One Great Circle. For one, it's more of an overview of the events, whereas OGC goes into much greater detail, along with revealing other things about the other characters. So don't think that by reading this you'll spoil OGC for yourself. ^^

Diaries begin to feature quite a bit...I think it's a way for me to cheat and put in first-person perspective; one of my first "epic" stories was done in first person, and I still have a soft spot for writing in it, even if a lot of the first-person stories these days are badly-written wishfic.

Speaking of which, I'm planning on trying a deconstruction of the "wish-fufillment" trope within fanfic...I have too many ideas and too little time. D: But on the bright side, the mermaid fic is going swimmingly, no pun intended I swear.

So that's it. I hope you like this chapter!~ It might seem a bit longwinded, but you just have to distinguish the diary entries. I don't own.

Dedicated to Leonard Nimoy.

Why?

Because he's confirmed as one of the actors coming in for Birth by Sleep.

That's right. Spock is in KH.

Thus let the unholy union of Trekkie and Heartie commence.)

* * *

Senayax went for their room, and grabbed the big navy blanket they shared. She inhaled his scent, trying not to cry as she let it fill her. She wrapped it around her, and grabbed both his pillow and Ienzo. She disappeared into the darkness, and headed right for the library.

She looked through the skylight, and smiled. Kingdom Hearts gave the whole castle a strange silvery sheen when the sky darkened. It was so beautiful, and she could still read, even in the dark. She sighed, and then remembered something. She set down her things, and disappeared back into the darkness, and into their room. She snatched up _Tales of the Keyblade Bearers _and smiled, before she headed back to the library.

She set it on one of the tables and then curled up on the couch. She shifted, suddenly realizing there was something in the seat. She sat up, and pulled out a leatherbound journal. She stared at it, and then remembered--the large, overstuffed dark-blue chair she'd fallen into was Zexion's favorite. She promptly opened the diary.

_"Dear Diary--oh hell, what does it matter, I know I'm just writing to myself. Teacher gave me this a long time back, and I'd never had much time to use it. Now I suppose I do, what with this place being boring as all-get-out. Xehanort--oh exuse me, _Xemnas--_(Jeez, he's such a pain in the butt about these things), has already started trying to work on teacher's 'Kingdom Hearts'. It doesn't bother me much. For me, nothing's really changed, except I can use the darkness, and I can smell stuff...like, in people's souls. Honestly, that's a little scary. Also, I've got this illusion...power. I made a dragon in the hallway, and I scared everyone awake. I thought it was funny, but Xemnas looked ready to kill me." _Senayax laughed. Then she clutched it, realizing what it was.

Zexion had a diary. She flipped to the next page. "_Diary, there's been nothing to do here of late--at least, until Saix showed up. Xemnas took him in, and he's trying to 'tame' him. I don't know how he could have the hubris to assume that he could, considering Saix brutually mauled his arm when he tried to touch him. Although I've been to see him, and I brought him a book. I think he's not savage so much as he is...so...angry. I felt bad for not trying to help before, and when he hissed, I just raised my voice louder and kept reading. I think he likes me." _She continued on with interest.

"_We have another Nobody here--one Saix remembers. Xemnas had been making good progress, and Saix has 'bonded' with him, to the point where I heard Brai--Xigbar--make a remark about it at the table. I don't know where Saix got it, but he almost slammed a claymore into him. Xemnas was surprised he'd found his weapons so easily, but I don't think Xigbar thought it was very funny. The new Nobody--Axel--has definitely proved really useful for calming Saix down. The two were friends before, and Saix has been growing more and more sane. It's interesting to watch. He can read, it turns out, but I still come in and read to him. He can talk, as well--he's taken to calling Xemnas 'master', to our amusement." _Senayax giggled.

"_It's been a really long time since we found a new Nobody. And then we found Demyx, and I must admit, he's sweet--but I wish we hadn't. Xigbar is doing all but having sex with him on the table during breakfast, and Demyx is very...naive about it. He's definitely the one of us most scornful about Xemnas's assertations of our lack of hearts, and he's really rubbing off on Xigbar. Xigbar's really happy now, even if he hasn't confessed anything to Demyx. I can smell his scent changing though, whenever Demyx walks into the room. It gets really warm and musky. It's actually kind of gross, 'cause it's Xigbar, and I know him, but I can't control this." _Senayax snorted. Typical. She wasn't crying anymore, but she still kept reading. It was a link to Zexion; who he'd been and how he had lived before her.

"_We've got another new Nobody--Luxord. He's nice, and he's been teaching me how to play card games. I must admit, I'm not too thrilled--luck is annoying, there's no planning behind it. But that's all right, the effort of working is nice to me. Xaldin's been trying to seduce him, I think. He's really good at manipulating people. But Luxord won't have any of it. It's really funny, and I'm wondering when, if ever, Luxord's going to give in." _Senayax nodded, flipping the page.

_"Axel's proven to be a very interesting Nobody--he's brash and loud, and very overprotective of Saix. Xemnas tried to bring him back to his office, and I think Axel took it the wrong way, and ended up punching the Superior in the face. (It was totally funny.) Xemnas might have strangled him if he hadn't found out Axel's attribute was fire--through a second-degree burn on the left side of his face. But we did manage to find out he had a good left hook as well." _Senayax burst out laughing. It was so amazing, just to read this...to understand her family better. She flipped another page.

"_Diary, I feel really bad for Vexen. We've got another new Nobody, and he's...um...well, there's no real polite way to put this, but he's gay. I mean, I'm not surprised or freaked out--Xemnas was pretty much asexual in practice, but he definitely leaned toward guys, Xigbar was bisexual and completely unabashed about it, Xaldin was just very open-minded, gender-wise, and Vexen was sort of the same as Xemnas--only...well, he doesn't like being touched. Thing is, Marluxia--that's the new Nobody--well, he's the exact opposite. He's totally into Vexen, and it's actually kind of cute. We're all trying to understand 'emotions' or our faint impression thereof, but he's definitely the most assertive of it, apart from Demyx. And he brought Vexen flowers--actually, that's not the correct word. He turned the whole lab into a garden. It was beautiful, but all the flowers made me sneeze. Vexen had a total hissy fit though, and started screaming at Marluxia that he'd ruined his labwork." _

_"Then Marluxia pointed him towards one single rose, completely encased in ice. He'd laughed and said that obviously, Vexen didn't care much about that, since he'd kept the rose Marluxia had made just for him intact. Vexen shrieked, and practically shoved him out of the lab. We were all laughing, but Marluxia's taken that rose and started breeding it. There's a whole patch in his greenhouse of pure ice roses. They're beautiful, and we know he's leaving them out for Vexen. I wonder if Marluxia really _will_ wear him down. I've known Vexen forever, and he really doesn't like romance. It's not his thing. Also, Marluxia's totally straightforward, and Vexen's feeling backed into the corner. Maybe I should tell Marluxia more about him _before _Vexen locks him in the freezer." _Senayax smiled. It was strange to see all of this, when she knew how the story ended. She kept reading.

_"We've been trying to take things normally, and do them like regular people lately. It's really tough, but we've sort of settled into a routine. Lexaeus and I stay in the lab with Vexen usually, and in between experiments he rants about Marluxia. Lexaeus actually finds it amusing, but it doesn't bother me either way. Romance is something pointless, stupid. I mean, it's not like anyone in this castle isn't either way older, crazy, one of my old friends, or all three. There's been a few reports of a Nobody around--a girl this time. But she apparently electrocuted someone to death when he tried to grope her--actually, that's how we found out--so I'm not sure what Xemnas really hopes to achieve." _Senayax giggled.

_"Well, it turns out that her name's Larxene. Lexaeus, well...oh my god, Lexaeus. He's just...he's never been really obvious about observing people, it was a talent of his--but he cannot stop staring at her. Not in a bad way--she just fascinates him. He's been teaching her hand-to-hand combat, and I think the general consensus is 'better him than I'. She seems to tolerate him more than the rest of us--and she and Marluxia get along great. They're practically inseparable, and if Marluxia wasn't so obviously gay, I think Lexaeus might be jealous. I think it's really funny." _She kept turning the pages, knowing Roxas would show up soon.

"_We've found our 'Key of Destiny'. He's a very spacey boy, but Axel's taken him in. And also probably taken his virginity. I mean, I honestly did not know a man could seduce someone that fast. He was very naive when he first arrived here, but within approximately a week, he'd become very used to Axel's unsubtle molestation. Xemnas would complain, except Saix told Axel they were in a relationship, and Axel promptly told the entire castle. It surprised absolutely none of us. Xemnas still acts like he was doing a good job hiding it. He really can be very thick sometimes." _Senayax giggled, and turned the page.

"_It's been two months since Roxas has arrived. We've settled into our routine--summon horrific abominations against god and mercy, kill Emblems with Roxas's Keyblade, listen to Marluxia completely ignore (or smash through), all of Vexen's locks and doors, and the subsequent shouting Vexen does afterwards, try to ignore Axel having very loud sex with Roxas, or, alternately, hear Demyx fall to the floor after Xigbar tried--again--to have sex with him on the ceiling. Oh yes--Xigbar eventually cornered him, and said something to the effect of 'you are the sweetest, most innocent, completely pure and utterly gorgeous man I have ever met in my life. I must have sex with you.' Demyx absolutely adores him though, and whenever he feels like coming into the library to say hello, we usually discuss it. I tell him all sorts of things about Xigbar--things that if Xigbar knew _I'd _told Demyx...well, the Superior would be cleaning up what remained of my body after he'd effectively turned me into a chunky mess of blood and giblets." _She giggled, and kept going.

"_Today...I met the most interesting little girl." _Her eyes widened, realizing what he'd started writing in it. "_Her name, apparently, is Senayax. She's a Nobody...and she's strange. I don't know how old she is--but neither does she. She's tiny, and honestly quite cute, I'll admit it. She's asleep now, right next to me. Today's been kind of eventful with her, considering she turned into a horrific monster...but that's not what I see. It's not her. She seems to like me, and I honestly don't know what to do. Most of us don't really have the same emotional range she does. Maybe it's because she's young, but she's put us all to shame on emotions. She's bright and easily amused and gets angry at the drop of a hat and then back again. It's enough to make you believe our emotions are real." _Senayax smiled, and kept reading.

"_Diary--this is her first mission today. I've spent a lot of time with her lately, and she's so...amazing, just trying to fight the monster inside her. She doesn't remember, but I see her screaming and fighting against whatever darkness is inside her, and...I'm stunned. She's almost _freakishly_ strong for a little girl. And...and she loves me. I think. It's so strange...but she always comes back here. She doesn't have a reason, and she could always sleep somewhere else...but she just keeps coming back here. I don't mind, either, but...it's strange. Remember when I said love was useless? Stupid? Hah. Believe me, I'm still convinced, but she's starting to beat that notion out of me. I feel like I'm a stuffed animal dragged along with exasperated adoration, worn with love. Sorry, that's a bit overdescriptive...but it's true. I'm just another playmate to her, someone she's trying to convince to enjoy life. But the question I'm beginning to ask myself...do I want to be more?" _Her eyes widened, and she kept reading.

"_She hates me. My god, she hates me, and I'm pretty close to following suit. We lied to her. She found out...on that mission--she'd left to protect us...and I'd felt so worried--my whole purpose in life right then seemed to be only to protect her. But then she found out about that wretched beast...and that we'd known. She hasn't come in to sleep. I've been trying to forget how she made me think--how she made me believe I could feel, even if just for a little while--but it's no use. The hollow space in my chest is taunting me. I need her. It scares me to think that, but I know it's true. I need her. And she hates me. She hates me." _Senayax closed her eyes, and even though she knew it was just a book, she whispered, "I'm sorry, Zexion...I love you so much..."

"_Today she's hiding. I just don't know what to do. So I'm going to do what I promised her so long ago. I'm going to buy her a velveteen rabbit, and pray that she forgives me." _She cradled the book close, before opening it again and going to the next page.

_"Diary--she's back. She came back, and she's back in my bed, and she's so warm against my touch. She told me...she'd never hate me, that she couldn't ever do that. I realized how good that felt, and how much it meant to me, and then I think...I think it was actually feeling it. Demyx...Demyx might be right...because I promised her I'd never lie to her. And I meant it. But there are some things I can't tell her, and the first one I can think of is that as I look down on her right now...I want to make love to her." _Her eyes widened.

Zexion...wanted...to... have sex? He wanted to have sex with her? She blinked, and kept reading--right now, she couldn't do much else. "_Diary--it's been a week now. I haven't had time to write--been spending it all with her. I loathe myself for wanting her. Her skin, her eyes, her lips...she's so beautiful. The lust, the need, it all pumps through me, and I can't even deny it. She kissed me last night. I thought, in that moment, I could hear my heart beat. She's...simply amazing. She's a candle in the darkness, and I don't even care if I get burned--I just don't want to diffuse the flame. She's beautiful. God, I want her." _The diary skipped a few days, finally coming back to the day before, right before he'd left.

"_I know it now. I adore her. Simple as that. She's the sweetest, most innocent, and pure girl I've ever met in my entire life. She's truly a part of us, all of us. We all surround her--not like she is our god...more like...she's our last flicker of light. Someone utterly untouched by the ravages of this war between us and the Heartless, the darkness itself. She is both immune and above it. If nothing else, I would do anything to make sure she stays that way. Because she is the last bit of light we have left. And I...I'll take care of her...because I love her." _Senayax shut the diary, and closed her eyes.

"Zexion...I love you so much." She whispered. She cuddled under the blanket, hugged both Ienzo and the diary close, and fell asleep smiling.


	35. The Sweetest Sound There Is

(It's slightly short but it sets up some stuff. That's really all I can say...

Lolicon. Deconstruction? Possibly. Depends on what you think.

Anyways, another (longer) and muuuch fluffier update next time. Just so you know. ^^ Thank you all for dealing with this update schedule, from the bottom of my heart.

Don't own.

Dedicated to the new reviewers I've gotten even in the past two chapters~)

* * *

Saix snuffled, rolling over in his sleep. It had been a long night, and he'd been fighting his urge to pace the castle and howl for Xemnas. But he'd finally forced himself to sleep, and he was enjoying his well-deserved peace.

Xemnas smiled to himself, breezing into the room as silently as he could. He knew the nothingness he ruled was muffling the sound, making sure his footsteps weren't heard, even by his pet's ears. Then he waited, watching his pet shift in his sleep, mumuring quietly. Xemnas stroked Saix's hair, tucking it behind his ears. Saix mewled, and threw his head back slightly in his sleep. Xemnas purred as he climbed into bed, wrapping his arms around his lover and waiting for his reaction.

"Master!" Saix cried, sitting up in bed in shock. He turned to look at Xemnas, utterly shocked for a second, taking all of his master's beautiful, sculpted chest in--wait. He paused.

"...Master, you're...not wearing anything right now, are you." He said slowly, eyes wide. Xemnas raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for his reaction. Saix didn't need an answer. He smiled. "I see."

The lonely pet pounced, eager to have his master home again.

* * *

Zexion sighed and walked through the castle, trying not to appear too eager or hurried to get to her. He knew she was in the library--he could smell her. But he didn't know if she was still in pain or not. He hadn't wanted to stay, and it had ached him like a physical wound that he'd broken his promise. But he was coming.

He opened the library doors and quirked an eyebrow, looking at both the diary on the table and the little girl in his chair, utterly dead to the world and snoring. He smiled and shook his head, stroking her hair and waiting for her to wake up.

Senayax awoke next morning to see someone standing over her, an amused smile tugging at his lips and the diary in his hands. She sat up, and screamed. "ZEXION!" She howled, vaulting off the couch and straight into his arms. He stumbled back and fell on the carpet, promptly being smothered with adoring kisses. He snorted in shock and amusement, and hugged her as tight as he could, stroking her back. She kissed him, and finally worked up the courage to slide her tongue in his mouth. He moaned, rubbing his hands against her sides as he responded in kind, sucking with gentle care on her tongue for a moment before nipping at her lips.

"Morning, Yaya." He said, laughing with relief. She didn't hate him. She was happy to see him. Thank the gods, she was happy to see him. She pulled away and laughed, kissing his neck.

"Mornin', Zexion!" She chirped, hugging him tightly. "I missed you so much! Are you all right? How did it go!" She asked, cuddling close to him. He wheezed, trying to get his breath back.

"It was fine, and I'm all right. We were just stuck in Halloweentown--there was a costume contest, and everyone had gathered out to party. So we were stuck, not only because Finklestein was at the party too, but because when the Heartless arrived, well...we couldn't fight them, because they adored them." He grumbled in annoyance. "So we were forced to wait the party out." She nodded as she cuddled close.

"S'okay. I missed you so much. Roxas got us all sea-salt ice cream yesterday, and I missed you so much even more. I slept in here because it reminded me of you. And...and that's it." She trailed off. He laughed and picked her up, kissing her neck again, nipping at the skin before returning to the subject at hand.

"I missed you too. You have no idea--I felt terrible I couldn't get home. I'm so sorry." He whispered, closing his eyes to hide the pain he knew he shouldn't even bother feeling. She tilted her head up and kissed him.

"It's okay, Zexion." She reminded him. "I'm all right. Did anythin' interestin' happen while you were there?" She asked. Her eyes were so sweet and hopeful that Zexion had to give himself a minute to collect his thoughts. Then he remembered the odd encounter he'd had while waiting for Xemnas.

"Oh, yes. There was a Shadow Heartless..." He trailed off, seeing her giggling. He rolled his eyes and ruffled her hair, enjoying the indignant squeak she treated him to. "Yes, I'm aware Shadows are quite common. Bear with me, my dear." He reminded her. "Senayax, it...seemed to know you. It told me to come home...that you needed me." Zexion watched her demeanor change; her eyes got wider and more focused, and she settled into his lap, deep in thought as she looked up at him.

"Yaya, have you ever befriended a Shadow? You've never been to Halloweentown, but they can travel in between the worlds...and I know you've been bugging Xeh for a pet." He asked. Senayax continued to watch him for a moment. Then her eyes went from chocolate brown to milky silver for a single instant, changing back so quickly Zexion almost managed to convince himself it was a trick of the light.

"No." She whispered. "I've never met a Shadow, Zexion...I'm sorry...wonder why it knew me, though." She sighed. "I don' think issa big deal though, Zexion. Mebbe it could just tell...you needed t'be back here." She said. Zexion shrugged. For some reason, he felt like there was something that neither of them understood that was hanging around in the room, but he dismissed it.

Senayax paused, and suddenly, her attitude shifted. He watched, unsure of what had happened to her, and what she wanted to say. "...Um, I was talking with Roxas...and he said...that you wanted to have sex with me." She said.

He froze. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't move. She smiled at him, and closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again and watching him. "I...I told him...I wanted it."

Zexion felt like he was on fire. He stirred, moving closer to her, laying her down on the couch, kneeling to bury his face in her neck. She watched him move towards her and opened her arms up to pull him in as he nuzzled her neck. Zexion kissed her, and then fumbled with the zipper on her coat. She kissed his forehead. "Zexion? I don't...want it now. I don't feel good...but..." She moaned softly. "Maybe you could make me feel a little better?" Zexion grinned at her as she stroked his hair. She smiled up at him.

"Roxas said this was supposed to be romantic and personal, an' I was supposed to do it with someone I love. I think...I think that's true." She said softly. He nodded and kissed her forehead, in complete and utter ecstasy. She smiled and wriggled out of his grasp, running down the hallway. Zexion laughed and followed her without complaint.

* * *

Breakfast proceeded normally, except for the fact that Xemnas was back, and missions would begin again. However, no one was really prepared to be up.

"S'too early in the morning for this shit." Xigbar grumbled, fumbling for a cup of coffee. Demyx rolled his eyes.

"Well, maybe you could quit pulling all-night sexfests, and then we'd get some sleep." He grumbled. Xigbar burst out laughing.

"God damn, kitten, I'm rubbing off on you, aren't I?" He remarked. Demyx stuck his tongue out at him. Xemnas sighed, and closed his eyes.

"It is indeed too early in the morning for this. However, there's not really much I can do time-wise, so we're going to have to live--Axel, wake up." Xemnas snapped. The redhead snorted, stirring in his sleep as Xemnas sighed. "Anyways, I'm sure there's something we can do, mission-wise for today, so let's think of it. Vexen, I need you to help me in the lab--there are a few tests I want to run." Vexen had a sinking feeling he knew what they were, but he nodded.

"Certainly, Superior." He said softly. Xemnas nodded, and continued.

"Demyx, Xigbar, can the both of you take Senayax to Halloweentown? We didn't have a chance to fight off many Heartless, and because of that damned costume party, we couldn't get to Finklestein." He grumbled, still annoyed with the failure of yesterday's mission. Xigbar and Demyx nodded.

"Roxas, Axel--both of you head to Beast's Castle with Xaldin--he knows the place well, and there's been plenty of Emblems scurrying around. Roxas, we'll need you to take them down with the Keyblade--Axel's your backup." The trio nodded. Xemnas chewed his lip in thought.

"Let me think--Larxene, Lexaeus, both of you head to Olympus--apparently there's a swarm of Dusks there. See if you can figure out what's causing it, and if not, just take them all out." He said. "Marluxia, Saix, both of you head to Wonderland--I need to figure out what happened with that cat, and the illusion that Zexion got trapped in. He said it was the beast, but I want to see if its' had any influence on the rest of the world. Be careful." Both nodded.

"Luxord, head to Port Royal, and booze up Sparrow. Get that medallion from him, and make sure they can't piece it back together and remove the curse for a long time." Xemnas said. The gambler snorted in amusement, and nodded. Senayax brightened up, and fit the rings on her fingers.

"I've never been to Halloweentown!" She said happily. "Come on, let's go!" She summoned the Corridor and was the first one out. Xigbar and Demyx shared a smile before disappearing right after.


	36. Sunny Jim

(This is the second-to-last BIG integral character to the plot introduced. However, the other one has been waiting in the wings since day one, so...

I have the Calcobrena theme from FFIV on my iPod. Been listening to it on repeat. That, and, of all things, "That's How You Know," from Enchanted. I want MY life to be made up of musicals and dancing in the streets. ONE DAY.

If anyone draws fanart of Sunny Jim and Senayax just chillin', I will love you forever and personally deliver the bishie of your choice to your door or something.

Right, so there you are. Not much to report today, except OMFG CHORUS CONCERT TOMORROW so updates might be weird.

Dedicated to Sarah, she knows why. :3)

* * *

_Dear Diary, _

_Senayax finally brought home that pet she's been nagging about getting. _

_His name is Sunny Jim. And he's a Shadow Heartless. And Xemnas? Xemnas is NOT pleased with Xigbar and Demyx right now. _

_Well, I should back up from the beginning. _

_

* * *

_

Senayax observed Halloweentown, a smile plastered across her face as she took in all the sights. Xigbar snorted, observing his outfit. He'd ended up as a gunslinger again, no surprise. It was a completely badass outfit, but nonetheless annoying. The coat got in the way when he tried to manipulate space. However, the hat was cool, and that was all that mattered, really. Demyx had ended up as the creature from the Black Lagoon-and in a predictably Demyx-esque fashion, just had a black sheet with eyeholes over him. He grinned and punched the sky, sending up little bubbles into the sky above him. "Whee!" Xigbar snorted. _Typical._

Senayax was a fairy. It was the most amusing thing either Demyx or Xigbar had seen-a bright, cute little fairy outfit that was almost disturbingly out of place in Halloweentown. Her skirt was puffy and pumpkin-orange, with a sheer black cover, and her stockings were again, black and orange stripes. Big monarch butterfly wings sprouted from her back, and her top was a black mock-corset with orange accents. It wasn't spooky; it was damn adorable. She looked like a chubby goth pumpkin, for god's sake! She grinned and fluttered the wings, not noticing their smirks of amusement. "Awesome! I can fly!" She cheered, soaring up into the air. Xigbar grinned.

"It's cool, isn't it?" He said. "Come on, there's probably a ton of Heartless in the square. We can go find some." She nodded and flitted off towards the square.

Unlike the others, she was unaware of the rotting morbid disgusts below the surface. What she saw was what a child would see; a slightly spooky playground. She walked on top of the fences, dancing on the impaled pumpkin-heads and picking up the scrawny alley-cats to pet for an instant before a cloud of bats took them away into the night, accepted a finger-bone with polite bashfulness from an old banshee, and along her gruesome journey, she had also managed to pick up a small trail of colorful bugs marching to the town square.

When the procession finally arrived at their destination, she squealed with joy when she saw the malformed children in the square playing with the Shadows, Crimson Pranksters, and Yellow Operas.

She turned to them and pouted, asking the question with her sad, pleading puppy-eyes. Xigbar snorted. "Well, might as well let her play. She's still a kid. Come on, Demyx, let's go hunt down Finklestein." Demyx nodded, and followed loyally behind Xigbar, right to Finklestein's lab.

* * *

_Leaving her alone was a bad idea, that much was certain. You'd think they would have learned from Vexen and Marluxia's mistake of letting her buy her own clothes, but apparently not. They found her exactly where she had been in the square, still playing with the Heartless long after the other children had gone home. She had one of them, a chittering little monstrosity, still in her arms. Xigbar might have refused, but...Demyx...well..._

* * *

"No. No, no, no. You cannot keep it." Xigbar said, shaking his head in amazement at the situation he found himself in. Senayax's eyes welled up with tears, and she sniffled pitifully as she cuddled the Heartless closer.

"B-but...b-b-but...Xigbar...he's...he's the runt of his litter! He'll die if we don't bring him back!" She wailed, shaking the Heartless back and forth. The Heartless, surprisingly, didn't try to run away or fight her off. It simply sat there and looked up at them all with bright, inquistive golden eyes. Xigbar snorted in amusement, ruffling her hair.

"Kiddo, they're Heartless. They don't die." He said. "We're not bringing him back." She howled and clutched the Shadow Heartless to her chest, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"But, Xigbar! Please! He's my...my friend!" She said, pouting at him. Demyx looked at his lover.

"Aww, come on Xigbar...please? We'll take care of him and everything!" Demyx said. Xigbar glared at him.

"Oh, don't you start." He grumbled. But Demyx and Senayax were both pouting at him now. The little Heartless twitched his antenna, and if they'd been capable of doing it, Xigbar would've sworn it pouted at him too. He groaned.

"Ah, hell." He mumbled, knowing when he'd lost. "Bring the damn thing home-but don't be surprised when Xemnas tries to kill it." He muttered. Senayax whooped with joy as the three of them disappeared, Xigbar already anticipating the chewing-out they were going to get.

* * *

_So they brought him home. Senayax promptly named him Sunny Jim, and he follows her around everywhere now. Xemnas really _did_ try to kill him when he found out, too..._

_

* * *

_

"I don't believe you two! Number II, Number IX, what part of _don't let the kid have a pet _utterly missed you?" He roared, slamming his hands on the desk. Demyx wilted, but Xigbar snorted, used to his adoptive brother's hissy-fits.

"Oh please, Xemnas, if you had her and Saix pouting at you, you'd have done the same thing, don't kid yourself. Besides, it's just one Heartless. He's tiny, he's a pureblood-so no point in killing him, mind you-and it makes her happy." Xigbar pointed out. Xemnas groaned.

The fact that they'd gotten her a pet didn't annoy him so much as Xigbar being _right. _Since _when_ was he subservient to both a child and his lover?

_Since forever. _A voice that sounded very much like the aforementioned Xigbar resounded through his head. He muttered mental oaths to himself for a moment, before sighing heavily.

"Oh, fine. But I'm not calling him 'Sunny Jim'. Why did she name the damn thing that?" He grumbled. Xigbar laughed.

"No clue. But don't worry too much about it. She's thrilled. Just let her be happy." He replied. Xemnas muttered something unintelligible under his breath as he sent them both out of his office and fumbled for the bottle of whiskey in his desk that he thought Saix didn't know about.

* * *

_So that's how Sunny Jim unofficially joined Organization XIII. Good lord, I don't think Xemnas knew what he was doing. He's trailing after Yaya, like, well...a shadow. He's tried to bite me for kissing her. About _five times._ Senayax thought it was funny. I did not. Also, he chitters constantly in his own language, and I'm pretty sure it's epithets against me. He does NOT like me. I'm competition for her affections. So I decided to set him straight. _

_

* * *

_

"All right, you rotten little bastard, she's MINE. No one else's! She sleeps in _my _bed, she uses _my _bathtub, and she kisses _me! _You have no chance! Now _stop trying to bite me!" _Zexion snarled at the little Shadow, slamming his book on the table and glaring down at the minuscule Heartless.

Then he realized everyone else was staring at him in a mixture of bemusement and shock. Senayax was muffling giggles, looking at Sunny Jim's utterly contemptous expression and Zexion's harried state with equal amusement. He glared at them all and flipped his hair, giving them a snort of contempt as he shut his book with a delicate snap.

"Yeah, Sunny Jim. Be nice, or you won't get t'sleep with us." She said, still giggling. Zexion's eyes went wide, and then narrowed.

"I draw the line there. The little hellbeast is not sleeping in our-my-stop _laughing, _Xigbar-bed. The bed. Just_...the bed_." Zexion sighed, glaring at the Shadow out of the corner of his eye and muttering a dark hex under his breath.

"Yaya...he's evil. Absolute evil, unfettered and raw. He'll murder me in my sleep." He hissed. The Heartless did nothing to dissuade his fears; indeed, he arched his back and hissed back. Roxas made to say something, probably trying to remind him he'd get to it first, but Axel glared at him.

Senayax's eyes got wide and her bottom lip started to quiver. Tears began to shine in her eyes, and she seemed to hunch into herself like a little pitiful ball of monster girl. Zexion groaned, preparing for the waterworks at their best. She cuddled the monster and looked up at him, closing her eyes and letting a few shimmering tears fall for dramatic effect. "He's my friend! And Zexion, he won't hurt you. Right, Sunny Jim?" She asked, looking down at the Shadow as if expecting an answer. The Heartless chittered. She grinned. "I think that means yes." Zexion rolled his eyes.

* * *

_But he lied, the little prick. He's bitten me twice in the past half-hour, and I'm starting to get really annoyed. Senayax is cuddling me, and I think it's her way of apologizing. She still doesn't know about sex, for the record. I don't know if I'm the best person to tell her, considering I'd prefer to show by demonstration. Looks like that plan's going to have to wait. _

_

* * *

_

Sunny Jim was skittering around Senayax's feet as she sat in the library, dwarfed by Zexion's massive chair. She sunk into it with a happy sigh and played with Zexion's hair as she curled up in his lap. He kissed her forehead, and glared discreetly at Sunny Jim when he hissed in displeasure. She laid her head against his shoulder and giggled, nipping his neck.

"Zexion, please don't worry about Sunny Jim. It's not like he's gonna prevent us from sleeping together. I told him he has t'sleep on th' floor." She told him as the Shadow nodded in agreement. Zexion laughed.

"I know." He said, nuzzling her neck and kissing it back. "Now, Senayax. What story do you want to hear?" He asked. Without a word, she handed _Tales of the Keyblade Bearers _to him. He rolled his eyes and smiled, as he opened the book and felt her comforting weight on his lap. She cuddled close, and as he read, she began to close her eyes and lose herself in the sound of his voice.

"Kree." Zexion suddenly looked up to see Sunny Jim standing by his feet, looking up at him. He narrowed his eyes.

"What do you want, you little beast?" He growled. Sunny Jim pointed at Senayax.

"Kree. Kree, kree, reep." He pointed at himself. Zexion huffed, and shook his head.

"No way, beast. She's mine. I had her first, and it's my duty to protect her." He snapped back. Sunny Jim chittered and rolled his eyes, folding his arms and looking at him in disgust.

"Reep. Kree, kree, freep." He pointed to Senayax, and then waved his hands around the empty room, gesturing at the endless abyss of shelves. Zexion's eyes narrowed.

"I don't care if I'm doing it alone. Besides, it's not like she doesn't already have all of us backing her up." He replied, tone harsh and biting as he faced the Shadow down. Sunny Jim shrugged, and then pointed at his chest, tapping at where a heart might be. Zexion stared for a moment until it clicked.

"I see. You care for her too." He sighed. "Well then. I'll make an agreement with you. You can protect her, and _not_ bite me. In return, I won't slip poison into your food. Do we have a deal, Shadow?" He asked. Sunny Jim nodded.

"Kree." He said, holding out his hand. Zexion gave him a thin smile and shook it. The little Heartless sat down, satisfied. Zexion felt Senayax stir on his lap, and she finally opened her eyes, unaware of the diplomatic proceedings that had just taken place.

"Zexion!" She cried. "Sunny Jim! Come on, we have to go, I think I smell dinner!" She jumped off his lap and darted off, the little Heartless bounding off after her. Zexion smiled and followed behind, trying to keep pace.

* * *

_Okay, I guess he's not too bad. I can't blame him for loving her. And I look at her, and see her so happy...and it's wonderful. Truly, this is the completion Xemnas spoke of. Now, I should probably go stop her from stuffing herself senseless-if she gets a stomachache, that's probably going to be the final straw for Xemnas._

_You know...I've already promised to protect her, but...I guess it's nice knowing that everyone else will back me up. _

_Don't worry, Yaya. You're safe here. I promise._

_Signing off, _

_Zexion._


	37. On the Operating Table

(LarxLex fluff, after a long interim between those two. Also, OMFG DRAMA. So yeah, it's careening back to horror and angst and stuff. Yay. So it's all good, yo. ALSO: **PMs GETTING READ TODAY.**

I'm very sorry about the long time this has taken. Chorus concert, yah? D: I hope this chapter was worth the wait!

I don't own Kingdom Hearts. In fact, I'm the boogeyman that terrifies them all; a fanfic writer.

Dedicated to my new cellphone, Hanna. Who is a boy. Go with it.)

* * *

Xemnas paced the floor of the lab, drumming his fingers on the table as Vexen pulled out the small sample of her blood he'd kept in stasis. "Superior, I don't know what you're trying to achieve." He said quietly, setting it on the table in front of him. Xemnas sighed.

_Teacher, this plan is going to work. I'm sure of it. We'll be home soon, teacher...wait for us..._

"You know exactly what I want to attempt, Vexen. I need to know if it's possible. Disagree all you like-this may be our only option." He said, setting the slide on the table and examining it carefully. "I take it you've mixed it with a few chemicals-your results?" Vexen shook his head.

"Inconclusive, Xemnas. Actually, that may have been Marluxia's fault-I spilled it when he startled me, but I can tell you it might be vaguely acidic as well, considering it ate holes through my coat." He managed a small smile. Xemnas closed his eyes, considering something for a moment.

"Vexen, I need you to tell Zexion I'll be examining her." He said shortly. Vexen stared at him for a moment, utterly horrified by what he'd said.

"..._Xemnas! _You are going _mad! _Did you not hear what Sephiroth said! She just _is! _Are you this desperate to find our hearts?" He roared. Xemnas narrowed his eyes.

"Vexen, I know. I _know. _But I have no choice. Besides, we need to study her-we should've done it before. We'll do it now. Go get him, Vexen." He said quietly. Vexen stood his ground, clutching the lab table for support.

"Xemnas. Stop. She is a little girl, and I will _not _stand for-" A small voice interrupted them.

"Vexen? Xemnas?" Senayax stood in the doorway, staring at both of them. "I was listening." She said quietly. Xemnas merely watched her. She looked up at him.

"Will it save you?" She said quietly. "If you can look inside?" She tapped her chest, making a cross upon it. Xemnas closed his eyes and fought back a sob. He really couldn't do this. Couldn't say it. But he'd made his choice.

"Yes. It will. I promise." He whispered, voice quiet as he let himself forget the consequences of what he was going to do. She nodded at the both of them.

"Mmkay, then." She replied, discarding her tie-dyed shirt, a rainbow miasma of colors that was almost grotesquely out of place within the stainless steel and stone of the lab. They looked at her as she climbed up on the table. She laid back on it and closed her eyes, a small tear dripping down her cheek.

Vexen, who had been a scientist for almost twenty years, had to look away as Xemnas sedated her.

The blood stayed quiet. Perhaps it was a side effect of the drugs, but she wasn't gushing. Xemnas made a Y-shaped incision, and examined underneath the skin. The place where her heart would have been was instead a cluster of veins, pumping blood through her body. He shuddered, and continued down. There didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary, really. So far, the examination was going smoothly. To his credit, Xemnas's hands didn't shake as he prodded the inside of her body. He went past her stomach and reached further down . Nothing out of the ordinary, and it seemed like it was starting to mature like the rest of her body.

Xemnas nicked a vein and let the blood dribble out into a small test tube. He capped it, and nodded to Vexen, who fought down a gag reflex as he took her out of sedation-if she was conscious, her body would heal itself. The blood began to spurt, but eventually, the skin bubbled over the wounds, and they stopped bleeding. She slept on, peaceful.

Xemnas wasn't aware of the time passing as he examined her entire body, letting it lay prone and still on the table, and neither was Vexen, who was still trying to shut this out of his mind.

But time passed as it normally did for everyone else. Senayax's absence had not gone unnoticed.

* * *

Zexion had been searching for her the entire day. He knew everyone had come back from their missions, and she hadn't gone with any of them. He needed to find her. Desperately. He headed for Lexaeus' room, praying she was there.

"Lexaeus?" Zexion said, knocking on his door. The hero opened it and looked at his younger friend, standing there shivering with worry and agony. He seemed so fragile all of a sudden, and Lexaeus immediately began to worry.

"Zexion, what happened?" He asked. Zexion shuddered.

"It's been an entire day. She's gone, Lexaeus! Everyone else came back from their missions, a-and, she wasn't...here. She's gone, and no one's seen her. She's not in my room, or the lounge or the library, or anywhere, and I can't _smell _her!" He tried to fight down a hysterical wail, keeping his voice as level as he could. Lexaeus nodded, and stroked the boy's hair, trying to soothe him.

"It's okay, Zexion. My guess is that she went to Wonderland or Halloweentown to explore. She'll be back soon. Perhaps you should check and see if she left a note." He said. Zexion nodded, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Yes. I will. Thank you, Lexaeus...I'm sorry, I just..." He trailed off, and Lexaeus nodded, understanding what he meant.

"It's all right, Zexion. I understand that you're worried. I'm sure she's all right." He said, and Zexion smiled at him.

"Thank you...I'll make sure she's all right, Lexaeus, and I'll let you know when I find her." He disappeared, and Lexaeus sighed, heading back to his desk as he shut the door. He had an awful feeling wrenching through his gut, and it had taken all of his self-control not to tell Zexion what it was.

Larxene looked up from their bed, and tilted her head, puzzled by his sudden change in mood. "Lexaeus?" She said quietly. He turned to her, and she saw he was fighting back tears. She sat up, and called his name again. "Lexaeus? Lex, what's wrong?" He stared at her for a long moment, and then shuddered.

"Larxene, I need to hold you. Please, let me hold you." He begged. She blinked, obviously surprised, but held her arms open. He picked her up and cradled her to his chest in a mere instant. She kissed his cheek, aware he was on the verge of a breakdown.

"Lexaeus, talk to me. Now." She murmured, guiding him to the bed. He sat on the bed with her still in his arms, and she let him shudder as he tried to get his thoughts together.

"Teacher...there was one time." He said softly. "When we were Apprentices, and Ansem was studying the Heartless. He wanted to see if he could get a being with a heart from two creatures that lacked them. So he took two Heartless...and, well, the experiment..." He took a deep breath.

"The female died." He said, finally letting his fears surface. "She died, Larxene, and...we never figured out how it would work. Ansem said as much, that the experiment probably wouldn't be worth trying again." She watched him, finallly realizing what he meant.

"...You don't think...he'd..." She fisted her hands in the blankets, shuddering at the thought. "Oh, god, Lexaeus!" She said, shaking as he pulled her closer. He nodded, finally admitting it to himself.

"I don't know if Xemnas will try...But Larxene, if it's true..." He shuddered, trailing off. She nodded, and held him closer.

"I know. Don't say it, Lexaeus." She said. "Please." He nodded, and kissed her forehead.

"I won't. Larxene...just stay here with me. Let me hold you. Is that all right?" He asked. She nodded, and curled close to him. He sighed gratefully, and began to stroke her hair, running his hands over her back and hips. She shivered, and cuddled into his touch. He smiled, and brought his delicate nymph closer, kissing her forehead, her cheeks, and then finally, he looked at her.

She'd let him touch her, and let him pet her, but she'd been so wary of kisses. He understood, of course. She'd been raped, and she knew what kisses could lead to. But he hoped she'd let him in.

They watched each other. He prayed silently, as her eyes shifted and became unreadable. He closed his eyes, and began to back away, just slightly.

Then she came forward and crashed her lips into his, holding herself steady on his massive shoulders, kissing him and holding herself as close against his body as she possibly could. Lexaeus opened his eyes in shock, and he saw that she was looking at him, grinning as he caught her gaze. He stroked her back, holding her steady as he kissed her. She pulled away, and inhaled.

"Lexaeus, I love you." She said. Simple as that, no strings, no frills, no doubt.

He adored her for it.

He pulled her down on the bed with him, and brought her close. "I love you too, Larxene." He said. She grinned, and kissed him again, stroking his chest while she did. He sighed in pleasure, and she continued petting him, spurred on by his soft moans. Finally, she kissed him, and nuzzled his forehead.

"I'm not gonna start anything I won't finish, Lex." She said, sitting up on his chest. He laughed.

"I hope not." He said, watching as she ran her hands down his sides. She grinned.

"Although, I might want to finish this..." She teased. He sat up slightly, and caught her hips to hold her steady. He looked into her eyes, and shook his head.

"Larxene, I'm willing to wait until you feel ready. Do you understand?" He said softly. She stared at him, as if she was unable to comprehend what he meant. He stroked her hair again, trying to soothe her. "What I'm saying is that I don't want to have sex with you until you're ready. It's on your terms, Larxene." He said. She watched him, and he saw the sadness and terror in her eyes. He reminded himself that it wasn't because of him that she was afraid. He smiled. "I just want to see you happy."

That did it. She wailed and buried her face in his neck, sobbing hysterically. He held her close and stroked her hair, whispering sweet words into her ear as she pressed herself against him, desperate for comfort. They stayed that way for a long time, and even when her sobs quieted, he continued to stroke her hair and kiss her forehead. Finally, she pulled away from his neck to look at him.

"I...I want to make you happy, Lex." She said softly. "So...I'm going to do what's best for me...because I know if I'm all right, then you're happy." She mumbled. He nodded, and kissed her forehead again. She curled closer. "And...I think...I want it, but...not now. Not right now, not right after this." She held his hands, and he almost laughed, realizing how tiny hers were compared to his. She grinned.

"But...I'd gladly make love to you. I want to. Because...I trust you." She said, and the sudden release of all the pain she'd had locked inside herself suddenly made her feel lighter, as a spark of lightning danced across her entire body. She kissed him again, and he felt that same spark, lighting him up from the inside out-and he knew she felt it, too.

* * *

Zexion looked up at the sky. It was getting darker and darker, and he'd found no sign of a message. She hadn't been around the castle, and he'd damn near torn the place apart. No one else had seen her, and he was started to get flat-out terrified. He checked the attic again, surveying the messy room with disdain-the smells here were dry and musty, and incredibly pervasive. He shuddered and rushed back to the library, holding on to one small hope that she might be there.

"Zexion, you still haven't found her?" Xaldin asked, as he watched the teen burst into the library for the third time. He shook his head, shuddering with worry and grief.

"No, no I haven't. It's getting late..." He said, realizing he was exhausted from running around the castle the entire day. Xaldin sighed, and let Zexion sit next to him as Luxord laid down his cards. Xaldin turned to him and gestured to his Tarot deck.

"Did you find something, babe?" He asked. For a second, he would've sworn Luxord's face went completely pale, but it was only for an instant, and then his Gambler shook his head.

"M'afraid not, Xaldin. Zexion, she'll be back in the morning, I'm certain of it. My guess? She went off to play somewhere, and lost track of time. When she realizes that it's late, she'll be home." He said, trying to give the boy confidence, and forget what he'd seen. Zexion nodded, and smiled at him gratefully.

"Thank you, Luxord. I'll go wait for her in my room-I'll alert everyone when she's come home." He said, letting the darkness bubble around him as he disappeared. Xaldin waited until he'd left before pulling Luxord into his lap and narrowing his eyes.

"You saw something, Lux." He murmured, leaving no room for doubt. Luxord nodded grimly, and showed him the set of five. Xaldin read the inscriptions, and closed his eyes, trying to deny what he'd seen.

The Emperor. The Hanged Man. The Lovers. The Moon, and...

Death.

* * *

Zexion curled up in his bed and closed his eyes. He knew something wasn't right. In fact, her 'wandering off' was utter crock. He knew she would be sensible and tell him where she was-and that was if she didn't outright drag him along! He managed a small laugh at that, but he knew he needed to be serious. She was somewhere in this castle, and he _would _find her.

He picked up Ienzo, and asked the rabbit, "You wouldn't happen to know where she is, would you?" He laughed at himself for conversing with a stuffed rabbit, but it made him feel better. He cuddled it close, and inhaled the remnants of her scent on the cloth as he got into bed, still holding the rabbit. He closed his eyes, and the Cloaked Schemer began to think, letting the gears whir in his brain so he could find his Yaya.

* * *

Xaldin stared at the cards for a long time, simply trying to process what they meant. Then he finally found his voice. "They're not literal, right?" He said softly. "The Tarot can be interpreted. You said so yourself." Luxord nodded.

"Yeah, it can. But I think this is pretty bloody literal." He said, as he looked up into his lover's eyes. "Xaldin, you've known Xemnas for eons. What is he _doing?" _Xaldin shook his head, and sighed.

"I don't know. I know he's found some sort of experiment he thinks could give us an idea of how to get our hearts back, but... What would that have to do with the cards?" He asked. Luxord shrugged haplessly.

"Christ, babe, I don't know. But it worries me. Especially since no one's seen Xemnas for the day..." He muttered darkly. Xaldin closed his eyes, and massaged his temples.

"Right. He and Vexen were working on something. I heard Marluxia and Saix talking to each other about it-they're probably done with the experiment and asleep now, though, since I don't hear Saix howling at Kingdom Hearts." He joked, giving his lover a faint grin. Luxord still looked grim.

"What were they working on? What did they leave down there, Xaldin?" He said softly. Xaldin tensed, suddenly realizing what his beautiful blonde was getting at.

"Shit." The silvertongue spat, for once at a loss of eloquent words. He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Lux...Lux, it's not that. There's no way it's that. Vexen wouldn't-yes, he's a little...Vexen-esque, but Marluxia's tempered his raw crazy, and besides, he'd never-" Luxord interrupted him.

"I wasn't talking about Vexen, my love." He said quietly. "I meant Xemnas." Xaldin shuddered, an entire spasm coursing through his body as he gripped Luxord's hands, trying to stop shaking.

"He wouldn't. There is no way he'd...do anything, not to her. We all care for her." He said quietly. "Even if it meant getting our hearts, he wouldn't..." He trailed off, and realized he couldn't honestly finish that sentence. Luxord held his arms open, just slightly, and Xaldin pulled him close, shaking his head. He wouldn't! I know him, Luxord! We were...brothers. All of us. He'd never do that." He said firmly. Luxord nodded.

"I believe you, babe." He said, and Xaldin suddenly relaxed, completely relieved. Luxord gave him a quick kiss. "I know they mean a lot to you. Don't worry, I'm not trying to make you doubt that. Just..." He sighed. "Don't let your friendship with them blind you, okay?" He said. Xaldin nodded, and Luxord smiled at him. "Great, love. Now, we should really be sleeping too, speaking of this." Xaldin rolled his eyes.

"We weren't speaking of it." He grumbled, but he picked Luxord up and the two disappeared to their room anyway.


	38. All Is Ruined and Put to Shame

(I have no words to give on this chapter. No snark, no nothing. Just sadness.

This chapter is why I'm not allowed to own KH in a nutshell.

Dedicated to everyone who needs it.)

* * *

Marluxia waited at their door, his arms open wide, already knowing his beautiful ice queen needed comfort. Vexen fell into them, sobbing inconsolably. Marluxia stroked his hair, and kissed the top of his scientist's head. Vexen hugged him tightly, and kissed him. "Marluxia." He said softly, repeating his lover's name again in desperation, "Marluxia." He nodded, and brought Vexen into their room, already waiting for the inevitable tearful explanation.

"Babe, are you okay? You went with Xemnas all day in the lab, and...then this happened." He said, rubbing his boyfriend's eyes gently while he set to work kissing his tears away. He sat up in bed, and Vexen got up as well, turning to look at him. Marluxia saw the concern and slight horror in his eyes, and pulled him close, feeling remembered rage thrum through his entire body as he cradled Vexen close. "Baby, I swear to god, if he did something to you, I _will _slit his throat, see if I _don't_, I don't_ believe_-"

"He wants me to impregnate Senayax." Vexen said shortly. Marluxia froze midsentence. His hands began to shake, and he clutched the blankets, looking up at Vexen, almost begging him to say it was a joke. Vexen merely looked back at him, and Marluxia shuddered, fighting down the urge to heave.

"You? As in, like, you have sex with her?" Marluxia said quietly. Vexen shuddered.

"No, my love. I assure you, I'd refuse, no matter the consequences." He said firmly, and Marluxia smiled at him. Vexen clutched his hand and let that comfort him enough so he could continue. "But...we experimented...on her. We needed to see if what he wanted would work-oh god, Marluxia, she did it to _help us-" _Marluxia kissed him.

"Baby, it wasn't your fault, okay? Don't blame yourself. Please. Just keep talking." He said, stroking Vexen's sides as the blonde gathered his courage to continue. He kissed Marluxia again, and inhaled, beginning to speak.

"From what we found, we think...we think it would work. That...that if this experiment goes through properly, it would...work. We'd get our hearts back." He said, shuddering to himself. Marluxia grinned.

"But babe, that's great! We'll have our hearts back, and isn't that what we wanted?" He said. Vexen nodded, but then bowed his head for a moment, trying to figure out how to say the rest of what he needed to tell him.

"Yes, Marluxia. It is. But the experiment...means, it means...he wants...he wants one of us, to...to give her child. Because he thinks...that it would allow a heart to blossom, one we could use. Marluxia-" He gagged, clutching his lover's chest and shuddering. "_Marluxia..." _Marluxia stroked his back gently, as Vexen shook in his arms. He hid his own disgust and shock, cradling Vexen close and stroking his hair as he sobbed.

"He would do it. I know he would. It would hurt him, but I know he'd do it. But...but she's _ours. _She is like, she's like..." Vexen trailed off, himself unsure of what to call her. Marluxia managed a dry laugh.

"She's our baby. The baby of the Organization. She's a sweetheart, and...god, Vexen..." Marluxia sighed. "Zexion. God, he'll ask Zexion." Vexen could only shake his head.

"For both their sakes, I hope not." He whispered, closing his eyes and already imagining the scenario. Marluxia blinked, surprised.

"But he's totally in love with her. I mean, it's completely obvious. Why is that a bad thing?" Marluxia said, sighing. Vexen shook his head.

"Because he's completely and utterly torn over his want for her. She's so...tiny, and she's just-not a child, but she...she's so pure, so sweet and innocent, and...if he had to impregnate her, it would...kill him." He said softly, his nonexistent heart tearing in two for both Zexion and Senayax.

Marluxia closed his eyes in thought. "Look, I figure...if Xemnas tries it...at least...at least it's someone she loves. At least...at least, for Zexion, he doesn't have to watch her...with someone else's...oh god, Vexen..." Marluxia shuddered and pulled him close, trying not to cry. Vexen stroked his hair.

"Sssh, Marluxia. It'll be all right. Sssh, hush now. It'll be all right." He said softly, trying to soothe him while his own mind ached and wept for them. Marluxia nodded, hugging him tightly while he calmed down.

"I don't know what to do, Mar." He murmured. "Is it...okay if we make love? I need..." He shuddered. "I need you. I need to make love to you. Please, Marluxia." Marluxia nodded before he kissed him, reminding him that he might have to go against his Superior and friend...but that at least he wouldn't be alone in it.

Senayax slept by herself in the lab, and tried not to cry. She was floating between sleep and waking, the drugs making her consciousness dance between the two. She was completely alone, naked and cold on the table. She didn't have a blanket, she didn't have her bunny, and...she didn't have...Zexion...

She finally let herself cry.

_Zexion must be so scared for me, _she thought, _an' I never told him I was here...I'm so sorry, Zexion...please 'member I love you..._

She smiled, and nodded to herself. She'd remember it too! She would try to get some sleep, and make sure she apologized to Zexion in the morning.

Xemnas had come down immediately after waking. Vexen was already sitting in a chair he'd pulled up against the table and stroking Senayax's hair. Xemnas ignored the obvious pained look on Vexen's face, and merely asked, "Well? Everything's come back conclusive?"

Vexen wanted so desperately to lie. He wanted with all his soul-his missing heart, his _conscience-_to say no. But he was a scientist. Xemnas would know if he lied, and he would just make it worse for all of them. Besides, he wasn't foolish-he knew it hurt Xemnas to give the order.

So he let his mind go blank as he pushed the papers towards Xemnas, barely nodding his head in assent, feeling like hellspawn. His Superior merely took the papers, and as he had ignored the pain on Vexen's face, Vexen ignored Xemnas's shaking hands as he clutched them tightly, almost crumpling them in his hands.

"I see." He said softly.

Vexen simply squeezed Senayax's hand.

* * *

Zexion breezed past the lab, knowing Xemnas had been conducting an experiment down there. He'd let them be, knowing it had been important, but perhaps if he was finished, he might know where his Yaya was. He pushed past the locked door, simply portaling through it. He walked down the familiar spiral staircase, and didn't announce his presence like he normally did, knowing he might not be among safe company down here.

Because it smelled _wrong. _Not only that but _it smelled like his Yaya._

He bolted down the steps, and into the main room, almost tripping over himself as he screamed, "WHERE IS SHE?"

Xemnas started, dropping his papers as Vexen moaned softly, shaking his head. Zexion ignored them, seeing her on the table. She slept peacefully, but the bloodied towels and scalpel lying on the tray next to the table told him all he needed to know. He felt himself shaking with rage, and he turned to glare at the both of them.

"What did you do." His voice was harsh and flat, like he'd scraped it against stone. Xemnas sighed.

"It was a routine examination, Zexion, we were merely observing-"

"_Liar." _Zexion interrupted him. "God. Damned. _Liar." _He was utterly fierce, and even both of them, higher in rank and age, were wary of his fury. He slammed his hands on the table next to Senayax, and tensed, fighting back the urge to strike Xemnas. "What did you _do, _Xemnas? _WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER?" _He screamed.

Xemnas shifted, became as feral as Zexion, matching his rage and countering with his own. "I _studied _her. What do you want to hear, Zexion? That I tore her open for my own amusement, for my own gain?" He was shaking now, pacing the floor. "This was for our _hearts, _Zexion! I would do anything to get them back, as would the rest of us!" Zexion pointed at Senayax.

"_She _is one of us!" He roared. "She is not just one of us, she is the _only_ one of us in this room right now that has suffered to bring about the creation of Kingdom Hearts! _You _would do anything?" He clasped her cold hand, fighting down a shudder. "If _you _would do anything, _cut open your own body!" _He screamed. "Just _don't touch hers!" _

Xemnas rolled his eyes. "This is for _all _of our good, Zexion. I can't give what she can." He snapped. Zexion snorted with contempt.

"What can she give that none of us can, Xemnas?" He spat. Xemnas opened his mouth to reply, in his anger forgetting it would tear Zexion in two.

Then he was interrupted by the little girl on the table shifting.

She opened her eyes, and they froze, not even daring to breathe. Then she locked eyes with Zexion.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Zexion!" She bawled."I was down here, an', an', and Xemnas needed me, an' I was just tryin' to help, but then I didn't tell you where I was, and then I left you all _night!" _She sobbed, reaching up to hug him. He hugged back without hesitation, cradling her to his chest. He glared at Xemnas, and then looked at Vexen. The utter sadness and bewilderment in his eyes tore Vexen apart, and as Xemnas stormed up to his office and Zexion disappeared, Vexen sat on the lab floor and wept.


	39. Cry

(I'm sorry. I'm so, so very sorry. Just...hell's fire, I've been going through a lot of shit. The fact that it happened to coincide with this chapter...hurts like a motherfucker. I can honestly say I'm crying for my own freaking characters. All of them.

Don't own.

Dedicated to EVERYONE I love. All of you. Thank you so much for being my family.)

* * *

Sunny Jim tackled Senayax, making anxious "kree!" noises and worrying her hair as soon as she stepped into their room. She squealed happily, and picked him up, cuddling him close. "I'm so glad everyone's okay!" She chirped. She undressed quickly, and Zexion admitted to himself that he was grateful she lacked any shyness around him. She pulled on a big sunset-tie-dye shirt and pink pants, and her yellow shoes were soon neatly laced on her feet again. She turned back to him, bright as a small sun, beautifully cheerful as she smiled at him. Zexion watched her for a moment, and then he shooed Sunny Jim out of the room.

"Tell them she's all right." He told the Shadow as he closed the door. Senayax turned to him and waited.

She didn't have to wait long-he immediately brought her close and kissed her, trying not to cry as she slid her tongue in his mouth and he responded in kind, her touch both gentle and curious as he held her as close as he could. He desperately needed to taste her, breathe in her scent and feel her against his skin, her gentle hands holding herself steady on his waist as she tilted her head up to meet him. He moaned with relief and ecstasy as he began to stroke her chest with careful, gentle hands.

"Yaya," he whispered, "I was so worried." She nodded.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered. Zexion shook his head, and pressed her close to him.

"Oh, sweetheart. Don't be sorry. It wasn't your fault. You are so very beautiful and so very, very brave." He told her, kissing the top of her head. She giggled.

"Thank you, Zexion. I was brave to help everyone, like I always am!" She said cheerfully. He shuddered, but fought it down to smile at her.

"You're always brave. Just remember we'll always take care of you too, all right?" He whispered, pulling her close again. She nodded against his chest and smiled, relaxing in his arms.

"Thank you, Zexion...I feel kind of sick, so I'm gonna go to the lounge and lay down, okay? I'm sure everyone was real worried about me." She whispered, nuzzling the soft cloth of his jacket. He nodded and stroked her hair, laughing.

"No one was as worried as me though, I can tell you that." He purred, nuzzling her neck. She giggled.

"Zexion, that_ tickles_!" She gasped, hugging him close before she kissed his cheek. "What are you going to do?" She asked. He shrugged haplessly.

"I'm not sure. I'll walk you down, though, and maybe I can stay with you. Okay?" He said, kissing her again. She nodded, and took his hand as she darted down the steps. He followed behind, keeping pace even as she almost vaulted down the hall, because he wasn't letting go of her hand for anything.

They both bolted into the lounge, Senayax laughing and clutching his hand like a lifeline. Demyx and Xigbar both looked up, shocked by their arrival. Then they smiled, relieved by their arrival.

Senayax squeaked in shock as Xigbar swung her up in his arms. "You're okay, kiddo!" He crowed, hugging her tightly as she laughed uproariously. Demyx sighed, but he was smiling as well, both glad to see her back and amused by his lover's reaction. She wriggled in his arms and he dropped her so she could hug Demyx.

"A'course I'm okay." She said cheerfully. "I be magic, remember?" She grinned at the both of them and flopped down on a couch, clutching her stomach. "Only magic doesn't feel so good." She groaned, curling up in a ball and shuddering. Demyx sat next to her and drummed his fingers across her back, shaking his head in sympathy.

"Aww, don't worry! It's probably nothing! Zexion and I are gonna go let everyone else know you're back, okay? Xigbar, can you stay with her?" He asked. Xigbar barely had the chance to agree; as he nodded, they'd already darted off. There was a moment of silence before Xigbar began to stroke her hair.

"Xemnas told us you'd gone to explore Wonderland." He murmured to her. "We all know it's bullshit. You're a smart kid-you wouldn't go by yourself." She stirred, smiling at his compliment.

"Thank you, Xigbar..." She whispered back. He snorted derisively.

"No prob, kid, I meant it. But that's not my point. What did you do?" He asked, unsure if he really wanted an answer. She paused. For a moment, the child within her was gone, and an adult took its' place. As she looked up at him, she suddenly seemed utterly haunted and ancient as time.

"You lived with them for almost your whole life, Xigbar." She whispered, voice as soft as a death rattle. "What do you think happenened?"

Xigbar clutched the soft fabric of her shirt as he pulled her close to him and closed his eyes. He believed in them, damn it! They would never do anything to a child! He cursed himself, understanding that he might _believe_ Xemnas wouldn't do something drastic to get Kingdom Hearts, but he _knew_ that he very well might. He shuddered.

"Shit, I don't know." He said quietly. "Why don't you tell me, kiddo?" She looked at him again, and the ancient gaze no longer held him steady, but that haunted look remained.

"I was brave, an' I helped." She whispered. "I did what I always do." Her eyes showed none of her usual bright joy. They seemed resigned, dark, and emotionless as mirrors. Xigbar pulled her into a hug.

"Please don't sacrifice yourself for us, ya hear me?" He growled. "Don't you dare, no matter what Xemnas tells you. Sometimes, Yaya, we protect _you. _Sometimes we have to be brave for _you. _Understand?" He inhaled, realizing the weight of his words as he looked down into her eyes, so innocent and pure he almost managed to forget the haunted, ancient gaze she'd fixed him with a minute before.

"You're our kid. We're not gonna let anything bad happen to ya, promise." He murmured, letting her hug him with all her might as he held her, unsure of what to say.

She smiled. "Thank you, Xigbar." She laughed as she sat up. "I don' think I'm in any real danger, though." She poked him. "After all, I'mma member of Organization XIII. I'm tough and rough as they come!" She said, puffing her chest up with pride as she tried not to giggle. He laughed and leaned back in the seat as she curled up in the crook between his arm and chest.

"Got it, kiddo. Won't mess with you any time soon." He teased. She huffed indignantly and shoved him before tugging his ponytail.

"Xigbar, don't be a meanie!" She scolded him, giggling as he rolled his eyes. They were both laughing as Demyx came back in, with everyone else-excluding Xemnas-in tow. They all looked at her, and for a second, they paused. They knew and she knew it wasn't as Xemnas had told them. But they had to act like nothing was wrong, for both her sake and theirs.

So the afternoon was spent peacefully, everyone chatting amongst themselves around Senayax as she curled up in Zexion's lap. Sunny Jim sat on the floor below them, randomly interjecting into the conversation with hand gestures and chittering sounds. Senayax listened carefully, and translated for everyone while he talked. Demyx played Peggy, Luxord organized a card game, and everyone cuddled with their respective lovers.

It was the last good day they'd have before everything went to hell, and maybe even if they understood that on some subconscious level, they ignored it and whistled through the graveyard, holding hands in defiance of the darkness.

It was mid-dinner before Saix pricked his ears up, and growled softly. "Master called for me. I'll be back in a minute." He said, disappearing into the darkness. Axel groaned, and rolled his eyes.

"Well, he's not coming back without a limp." He drawled, as Roxas smacked the back of his head. "Ow!" He yelped indignantly, glaring at his younger lover. Roxas sniffed, and glowered at him in an amused sort of annoyance.

Sunny Jim twitched his antennae, and suddenly snarled. Senayax jumped in her seat and looked down at him. The little Heartless was absolutely enraged, back rippling as if he was a cat with its' fur on end, the darkness that made him somehow seeming to expand and contract. "Ahuh? Sunny Jim, what's the matter?" She asked. The Shadow growled, and pointed upstairs.

"Kreee! Kree kree kree!" He hissed, snarling as Senayax shook her head. Everyone else watched, slightly amused by the fact that Senayax knew enough to translate. She scratched behind his antennae and sighed.

"Sunny Jim, don't worry so much. Whatever it was, Saix will be back soon-it can't be bad." She soothed the Shadow, who shook his head vehemently, but sat down again, somehow knowing he wasn't going to get much farther with his mistress.

It was a few minutes of peace and quiet before Saix came back down, visibly shaken. Axel jumped to help him, but before he did, Saix had already spoken. "Zexion, Xemnas...needs to see you." He said softly. Zexion didn't let any emotion show, simply nodded and left the room, walking up the steps.

Everyone else simply shuddered, as Saix buried his face in Axel's shoulder and began to sob.


	40. Broken Down Girl

(Nothing. Just nothing. Except I'm sorry.

Dedicated to the whole world.)

* * *

Senayax didn't know what was going on, but she knew that she had to find Zexion. So she crept out quietly, silent enough so that not even Saix noticed, and darted up to Xemnas's office, following after Zexion.

Zexion himself walked up the steps like a man going towards the executioner's chopping block. All he could think about was the _what ifs_ that ran through his mind; what if he hadn't ever kissed her? What if he'd never let her sleep beside him? What if he'd never answered Xemnas' question, denied everything? What if he'd never _found _her?

Even as he thought it, he accepted that he had done all those things. Strangely enough...even if he couldn't truly feel...he didn't seem to be reminded of any..._regrets. _He managed a small smile. No. No regrets. He loved her. He didn't regret that.

But he was terrified. So, so terrified. Enough that for a moment, it almost felt real.

With a start, he realized he'd arrived in front of the study door. As he stared at it, he realized for the first time how much it looked like the door to their teacher's study.

The teen knocked on the door, and Xemnas called, "Come in." Zexion paused. His voice sounded...rough, raw. He shuddered and walked in, cursing whatever illusion he'd inadvertently conjured up that had made that awful, sickening _snap _of a guillotine falling as he shut the door.

Senayax had followed him as close as she could, still confused about the situation. She wanted to call out his name and ask what was going on, but something rotten and raw had lodged itself in her throat; a sensation she barely knew, didn't like. Terror. Pure and simple fear.

She closed her eyes tight, an almost instinctual reaction to keep Hollowmoon from rising to her mind's forefront. Thankfully, the beast remained silent. She Senayax waited until the door had shut behind him and then snuck up to it, pressing her ear again the wall.

Xemnas was sitting at his desk, his eyes blank. Zexion tensed, wary and ready to bolt from the room from the second he'd sat down. Xemnas simply watched him for a long minute. Zexion didn't drop his eyes from Xemnas's gaze, simply staring back.

Xemnas broke the silence.

"I need you to impregnate Senayax."

For a second, the words didn't reach Zexion's brain, didn't sink in and let him comprehend that order.

When they hit, it was like his brain was torn in two. He screamed and slammed his hands against the desk. "_NO_!" He roared. "ARE YOU _INSANE, _XEHANORT?" Xemnas simply watched him as Zexion threw himself out of his chair, hands shaking as he ran them through his hair, face pale with anger.

"I would _never _lay a hand on her. She is a _child. _Impregnate her? _IMPREGNATE_ her? _THIS ISN'T A GAME, XEHANORT!" _He screamed. "THIS IS A LITTLE GIRL'S _LIFE!" _He dropped his hands to his sides and shook his head, making it seem like all the fight had gone out of him for a moment. Suddenly, he looked up through his bangs, eyes filled with something horrible that Xemnas couldn't put a name to as he laughed, the sound dark and harsh as it resounded through the room.

"Monster. You're a goddamn _monster, _Xehanort." He said flatly, all the emotion leaving his voice. Xemnas shuddered, but didn't let his comments affect him right now. He stored away his own hurt and took a deep breath.

_Twist the knife in further, Xemnas. _His mind teased him. He chased the thoughts away, then turned and locked eyes with Zexion, still panting, out of breath from screaming in rage.

"Then I'll do it." He whispered, with a voice as dead and dry as a rattling of old bones.

Zexion could only stare at him. Xemnas continued, trying not to let his voice fail him. "I'll impregnate her, Zexion. Is that what you want? Do you want me to hold her down and sedate her while I fill her, do you want to see her _carry my child-" _

Zexion screamed, clapping his hands over his ears. "_STOP IT!" _He roared. Xemnas suddenly saw how fragile and young the former Apprentice was as he burst into tears. Xemnas paused, and let him take harsh, ragged breaths as he gagged and tried to steady himself. He looked up at him, hair hanging in his face and obscuring one of his eyes. The other was red-rimmed and bloodshot, the pale lilac iris shining with unshed tears.

"Why, Xeh?" He said softly. "I...I l-love her. Why do you want me to _do this, _let _me _be the one to watch her cry after its' all over and her goddamn blood is on the sheets? Why can't you just stop this, Xemnas? She's m-my...my little girl, my precious Yaya, _mine..._" He inhaled, shaking his head. "A-and you can't...can't...she'll _break..._T-teacher told us..." He closed his eyes and tried to stop shaking.

"Teacher told us that involving other humans in our experiments was _wrong. _He s-said...letting someone else s-_suffer _in our place was inhumane." Zexion looked up at Xemnas, and saw him shaking. In a perverse way, he wanted to press forward now just to see him suffer. So he did.

"You'll let her suffer. In this fight she has no quarry in. No matter which way you turn, you can't win, can you, Xemnas?" He said softly, the mocking tone of his voice belying utter fury. "Perhaps you've fought monsters too long."

Xemnas slammed his hands down and went for the door. Zexion just watched as he turned to face him, amber eyes reflecting nothingness as he made his move.

"Fine." He snapped. "Fine, since you don't seem to want to, I'll take her down to the lab and do it myself. I hope you enjoy knowing that she was suffering through every damn minute. Have fun watching her give birth to my child, Zexion." He went to open the door, before Zexion snarled, and slammed him against it.

Xemnas watched, breathing heavily as Zexion shook with rage. The two Apprentices stared at each other. As they watched each other, they knew that the bond between them had not broken. Yet it had shifted. No longer did Zexion keep his elder on a pedestal.

_I should have realized you weren't a child any longer, Zexion. It was my mistake. _Xemnas thought, almost imperceptibly shaking his head. Zexion's grasp tightened.

"I won't break her and bring her down like you would. I _love her. _If you've trapped me in this, Xemnas, I'm going to do what's best for _her." _He spat, voice filled with contempt. "Because _I kept our promise to take care of her._" He let go and turned to leave. "Unlike you." He whispered with contempt, opening the door.

Xemnas wanted to hold up a hand and tell him to stay, tell him that he took it all back, that they'd find another way to Kingdom Hearts.

But he didn't.

Because Senayax stood at the door, her wide, haunted eyes telling him all he needed to know.

As she looked up at the two of them, so helpless and small, he finally let the full impact of what he'd done hit him.

When she started to cry, he knew that in his mind he was screaming.


	41. The Flame Bearer

(Warnings first; lemon in this chapter, as I suppose should be kind of a given. So now the rating's going to be M. And yeah, my secret shame; romance novels. There's just something so funny about a deadpan reading of a book titled _Velvet in Venice _or something like that. Can't help myself.

So many people are pissed off at Xemnas, and I'm kind of stunned, even though I suppose I was expecting it. I hope the next chapter will give y'all a reason to cut him a break...

You'll see what Hollowmoon's up to soon, and trust me, it won't be pretty. ^^

Dedicated to the closing of the school year; freshman year, just END already. God.)

* * *

Zexion crossed the room to hold her with one simple, fluid stride, kneeling slightly so she could claw her way into his arms, sobbing herself sick. Zexion cradled her close and whispered, "It's okay. Cry all you need to." He said, stroking her hair. She shook her head and wiped the tears away as she shook herself out of his grasp before going over and tugging on Xemnas's coat sleeve. He looked down at her and shook his head. He couldn't look at her, to his own shame. She looked at him for a moment and then kissed his cheek, a soft smile spreading across her features.

"S'okay." She said softly. "I don't blame you, Xemnas." He looked back at her, and he saw forgiveness and understanding reflected in her eyes. He could only nod.

As she turned back to Zexion and the two left, he finally found his voice and shook his head.

"You don't." He whispered. "I do."

He buried his head in his hands and sobbed, Kingdom Hearts shining down almost mockingly upon him.

* * *

Sunny Jim stared in horror at the closed study door. His mind was whirring and hissing with thoughts, all of which boiled down to one word; _mistress. _His mistress was crying with the human-hurt, even though she wasn't human. The Mistress's other pet, (the blue-haired boy? Sunny Jim knew it was him that had been screaming) was gone now, probably with The Mistress. He had to tell someone they were gone. His antennae twitched in thought.

Couldn't tell The Gunner. Couldn't tell The Ice-Queen. Couldn't tell The Silvertongue...couldn't tell The Earth-Lord. They were friends of The Monster. Allies.

The Berserker? Sunny Jim frowned. No. Berserker pup was The Monster's mate. But his friend? The Flame-Bearer? Sunny Jim considered this. The light-boy, The Key-Bearer was his mate. He would listen, yes. Then the flame would rage and burn and hopefully burn The Monster and his silly castle down with it. Sunny Jim nodded.

It would be done. They would know of the agonies, the indignities The Monster inflicted on The Mistress, and then she would be protected from The Monsters when Sunny Jim had failed.

With the matter settled for him, Sunny Jim bolted through the darkness, looking for The Flame-Bearer.

* * *

Zexion took her back to their room, and stroked her hair. Senayax buried her face into his neck, sobbing hysterically. "Zexion, I'm so scared..." She sobbed and curled close to his chest, shallow breaths wracking her chest as she gasped with pain. He nodded and kissed her forehead.

"I know. I know." He whispered. "Yaya, look at me." She nodded and sat on his lap, looking up at him. He pulled her close and stroked her back. She hugged him back, feeling his shoulders shake with unshed tears as she held him tight. He kissed the top of her head. "I won't do this unless you know I love you. I know, oh I _know _you're not ready, but if you love me..." He inhaled, a sob catching in his throat as he did. "If you love me, at least...at least it won't hurt so much." He said, holding her close against him. She clutched the fabric of his coat for a long time, cuddling close as she could get. That entire time, she didn't speak, barely made a sound. The whole room was quiet except for the sound of their breathing.

Then she nodded against his chest. "Zexion...I love you so much." She whispered. He closed his eyes and began to cry, finally letting go and sobbing from the unfairness and cruelty of what he had to do to the both of them. She stroked his hair while he cried, kissing his forehead and squeezing his hands as a sign that he wasn't alone. He held her close and laid down on the bed, while she was still curled against his chest. She kissed him again, and smiled at him. "I love you." She said. "Really _really _love you."

He smiled, and sat up, cuddling her close. "I love you too, Yaya." He said as he kissed her, stroking her back. "Really _really _love you." She grinned, and nuzzled his neck. He let her sit there, just stroking his hair, tracing his jaw, and running her hands down his chest curiously. She tilted her head and looked up at him.

"It's still romantic an' personal, an' I'm still doing it with someone I love." She said. "I still want you." She paused, and smiled. "No matter what, Zexion."

It was the answer he'd needed to hear. He shifted her onto his lap so she straddled him, and kissed her neck. "If you still want it," he said softly, "I'm still willing to teach you." She laughed. He let that laughter lighten his heart, and fill his mind as he lifted her shirt up. She helped him get it off, and shivered at the sudden cold. He closed his eyes, smiling and shaking his head. "You'll get warmer soon, I promise." She nodded, and tugged on his coat zipper, pulling it down as he pulled his arms out of the sleeves. He sat up, and shook the rest of it off, laying down for her. He sat up on top of the bed, propped up against a few of their pillows.

"This is for you, Yaya." He whispered. "Take all the time you need." She nodded and stroked his chest, her fingers tracing patterns in the muscle. Her fingers were gently stroking him even as she laid down against his chest and shivered.

"Still cold, Zexion." She said, giggling. He laughed, and stroked her hair as she arched into his touch. She kissed his stomach and nuzzled it gently before she sat up slightly, poking a finger through the waistband and tilting her head. "...Do I pull this down?" She asked. He knew he couldn't fight anymore. He wanted to give himself to her, and now she wanted it in kind.

"If you like." He purred. She nodded, and tugged at them insistently, before huffing in annoyance.

"Something is in the _way, _Zexion." She muttered. Zexion groaned, trying not to laugh.

"Right. That's...well, let me help you." He said, still biting back laughter as he helped her tug his pants down. She tilted her head and stared as he kicked them off. He held her hand as she stroked his cock quizzically. He inhaled sharply and squeezed her hand. "Shit, Yaya!" He hissed through clenched teeth.

She blinked in shock.

"Oh, did I do something wrong?" She said, suddenly skittish. He shook his head vehemently.

"God, no. That felt...good. Don't worry." He said gently, stroking her hair. She nodded as she tilted her head in thought.

"Right. I think I know what this is...I took one of Larxene's books, an' I think it mentioned this. Only it's not 'hot and throbbing like a massive pulsing rod' or somethin'." She muttered. He stared at her.

"...Well...that's, well." He tried to make sense of that, but the only thing his mind was telling him was that he needed to kill Larxene, and soon. "It's a romance novel, they tend to overexaggerate." She nodded solemnly.

"I was wonderin' about that 'breasts like soft, pillowy mountains' thing. 'Cause you know." She poked hers and giggled. Zexion snorted.

"They got the sort-of details right. Come here, I'll show you." He said, fighting to keep a purr out of his voice. She grinned, and cuddled closer, as he cradled her in one hand, settling her in the crook of his arm. "Spread your legs a bit, okay?" He whispered. She nodded, and shifted slightly as she opened them, legs now akimbo. He traced the contours of her thighs and kissed her as he sighed in ecstasy. "This is not a 'hot molten cave' or whatever the hell they called it in that damn book. It's your vagina, love." He said, and she nodded.

"Actually, it was 'gushing warm sex' but yeah, you had t'general idea." She said, giggling. He winced.

"Ugh, disgusting. Although, it does get slick if you stroke the inside." He purred. "Like so." He stroked her, teasing her insides to find her clit. She squeaked in shock as she clutched him close. He grinned as he kissed her again. "Does it feel good?" He asked. She nodded, holding him close and putting her arms around his waist.

"Ahuh..." She said, shivering with pleasure. He nuzzled her neck and stroked her back to soothe her as she whimpered. He continued stroking her inner walls, trying to find that one tiny nub of flesh. He moved his fingers slightly upward and finally found the small bit of flesh surrounding it. He began to stroke her, and when he felt something firm under his fingers, he stroked slightly faster. She started, almost falling out of his lap. "What was_ that_?" She said, shuddering with sudden pleasure. He grinned.

"Your clitoris, Yaya. It's what's supposed to feel good." He paused. "God, what did they call it _there?" _He said, unsure if he wanted an shrugged.

"I don't think they mentioned a clitoris, Zexion. Although it might've been lost in the 'pillowy mound of flesh.'" She teased, giggling. He groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Right, I forgot. Anyways, just let me stroke you, okay? It'll feel much better when I do." He said. She nodded and cuddled close as he began to rub her clit faster, thumbing it and listening to her quiet moans. Finally, when he felt her tense under him, he pulled away as she whimpered. He laughed. "I don't want you to orgasm before we've finished, Yaya." She blinked.

"Is that, um...'the spurting hot fluids from her mound' thing?" She asked. He resisted the urge to facepalm.

"God, yes. But no. It's...not spurting, not particularly. Yaya, one day, I'm going to teach you about purple prose." He grumbled. She laughed, covering her mouth to hide the giggles. He sighed and laid back, letting her work her way out of his arms and sit back up on his chest. She stroked his cock again, and he bit back a gasp.

"Okay. So this is your male-style vagina, right?" She said. He couldn't help it. Zexion started laughing hysterically. She grinned, amused more by his giggles than by what she'd actually said. He nodded, trying to catch his breath.

"Yes, I suppose you could call it that. Although the technical term is really penis, although it's probably better just to call it the male vagina-god knows there's enough slang for it as-is." He shook his head, still laughing about that. She nodded, observing it for a moment, then tracing her finger across the underside. He inhaled sharply, and she smiled with delight at his reaction.

"Okay, so that feels good. Let me try." She said, taking her fingers and stroking them up and down his shaft. He bit back a hiss of pleasure, but then she fingered the tip, and he finally let himself moan. She laughed. "Did that feel better, Zexion?" She asked. He nodded, shaking with the sensations still shooting electric shocks through his spine. He felt heat beginning to pool in his abdomen, and he began to breathe heavily, trying to stay steady. Then she got an idea.

She knelt down slightly and kissed it, taking her tongue and lapping the slit. He gasped, clutching the sheets. "God, Yaya!" He howled. She smiled and looked up at him.

"That felt good, I bet." She teased. He didn't answer, still shuddering with the sensation. She grinned. "I think tha's a yes..." She closed her eyes, and tried to remember all that she'd read before Larxene had found her in the library with the book. She knelt and took the entire head in her mouth as she noted with interest the fact that Zexion shrieked and bucked his hips up. She sighed and took it out of her mouth, rolling her eyes at him. "Hold _still, _Zexion." She said, holding his hips down. He was panting now, shaking his head.

"I'm torn between killing Larxene and showering her with gratitude." He muttered as she giggled. Senayax finally took it in her mouth again, teasing every inch she could reach as he shuddered under her. He could feel the heat coiling inside him, and he managed to gasp, "Okay, Yaya, save it for later." She nodded, and looked up at him.

"Fine, but why, Zexion?" She said, as he sat back up. He picked her up, and set her on the bed. She watched him, as he sat up on his knees, shifting so his legs were spread farther apart. He sighed as he kissed her.

"Because now I'm just going to _show _you what sex is." He murmured. She grinned, and he told himself again that she wanted it, wanted him. It made him feel better about making love to her, but not about what Xemnas had told him to do. He stroked her hips and purred, "Lay down on the bed, okay? Spread your legs like you did when I touched you." She nodded cheerfully and snuggled against the pillows, opening her legs. He sighed happily, savoring the sight before composing himself.

"All of that was part of sex, but this is...well, sort of the main part." He said. She nodded solemnly. He sat her up slightly, and interwined her legs with his. "Now, sweetheart..." He purred, as he let himself go, kissing her neck and finally flicking his tongue over her nipples while he savored the sound of her excited gasp, "this is the best part."

He slid his cock in gently, going slowly so as not to frighten her. She immediately yowled in pain and clenched his back. "Zexion, this en't the best part! It really hurts!" She whimpered. He nodded.

"It hurts the first time. I'm so sorry, Yaya. You're just a virgin...it's going to hurt for a minute. That's why I'm going so slow." He whispered. She nodded, still gripping him close for comfort. He kept going slowly, stroking her sides as she shuddered under him. Then finally, he felt her tense, then relax.

"Ohh...okay, I see..." She said, grinning. "This is when it feels real good." He moaned with relief.

"Yes, Yaya. This is when it feels really good." He said, as he finally let himself bury his cock inside her. She gasped softly, shuddering with shock and pain. He tensed, but after a minute, she kissed his forehead and whispered for him to go faster.

He thrust gently at first, but then he heard the sigh of pleasure, and knew she was all right. He pulled out slightly, before thrusting back in. She moaned, holding him close. "Oh, please be careful." She pleaded. He nodded.

"Of course. I won't hurt you, okay?" He said. She nodded as she poked his nose, watching him wrinkle it suddenly as his expression changed to mild shock. She giggled.

"Well, duh, I _know_ you wouldn't hurt me." She teased. He hugged her close.

"You have no idea how much that means to me, Yaya. Thank you for trusting me." He said softly. She grinned, and kissed him. He finally let himself speed up slightly, trying to find a rhythm that would make her feel just as good as he did. It took a few minutes of teasing and searching, but when he finally heard her gasp with delight as her fingers clenched his back, he knew he'd found it. He began to thrust slightly harder, and closed his eyes, enjoying her soft gasps and shudders of pleasure, her impending orgasm clenching the walls of her vagina around him. He purred with delight, thrusting in almost teasingly now.

The two of them stayed perfectly interwined, and as he stroked her hair and thrust in with a hazy sort of delight, she finally gripped his shoulders tightly. "Zexion, it's gettin' real tight." Senayax whimpered. "I think I'm gonna explode." He shook his head.

"It's called an orgasm, Yaya. I promise, that's really the best part. No pain at all." He said, and she nodded, relaxing her grip on his shoulders as he picked up his pace, wanting to make sure she came with him straight into orgasm. He felt her shudder as she rose her hips up to meet him. He gasped. "Oh god, _yes_...just keep doing that, okay? Don't worry, it doesn't hurt." He said soothingly. She nodded, and now when he began to thrust again, she met him each time. He moaned. "Close, Yaya." She nodded.

"S'getting tighter for me, too." She whispered, holding him close. He nodded and looked into her eyes, and when she smiled at him, he shuddered with pleasure, forgetting about all his worries, his doubt, everything except her. He thrust one last time, and finally hissed, feeling his own body tense along with hers. She gasped, and wrapped her legs tighter around him. "I l-love you...Zexion..." She said softly, her voice rising in pitch. He moaned, body shuddering with release as he felt himself come, her own orgasm matching his.

"I love you too, Yaya..." He whispered, finally feeling that last shudder of pleasure, an entire bolt of bliss setting his body on fire, and he knew she was feeling the same thing. She gasped, and the two finally met perfectly, crossing the divide between existence and wherever they resided, straight into heaven.

He held her close, even as he pulled away. She shuddered with exhaustion and buried her face in his neck. "T-tired..." She said softly. "Can...we sleep?" He nodded, and pulled her close gently. He pulled a blanket over the both of them as her eyelids fluttered and finally shut. Her breathing was peaceful, and he let himself bury his face in her neck and inhale her scent as they both fell asleep.


	42. Daddy's Little Girl

(I've never written paternal angst like this before. So this was a tough chapter to write; another one of those "drag it out of me" chapters. Forgive me for the long update... I don't like to disappoint.

Another lemon in this chapter; last one, I think. So you're okay for now. Hollowmoon does indeed show up soon...and Sunny Jim is the greatest ever. I love him so much! ^^

School is out in another week and a half. Jesus christ I hate snow days so much. Don't own Kingdom Hearts and did I mention I am sick of school?

Dedicated to the hope for a better future.)

* * *

As Xemnas stared up at Kingdom Hearts that night, all he could see in the heart-shaped moon was Senayax's eyes, the gaze so pure and innocent, so wise and ancient and understanding that it had torn him apart on the inside. Briefly, he wondered if he was beginning to feel the effects of a heart already, if only to feel grief and agony.

He couldn't banish the foolish, pointless thoughts from meandering through his mind, gently malicious, slowly tearing at his hope and belief in his plan, so he simply sat and stared at the moon, trying to forget that haunted stare.

He sighed. He knew what they had done to their teacher. That was something he shouldn't be forgiven for. He wondered if his teacher had ever felt like this. Long after they had gone and had their hearts lost to them, he would find himself wandering back to that idea, to the thoughts and memories of home. He shook his head. He wouldn't...think about it. He couldn't dwell.

Yet...what else was there to do _but _wait? He'd set his plan in store; nine months of waiting was what he had to look forward to, only so he could tear the child from the child herself, take it as sacrifice and offer it up to that heart shaped moon that _wouldn't leave him alone_-

_What the hell have I done? _

It was like his senses slammed him in the face. He gasped, a shuddering sob tearing from his throat. It hurt. Oh god, it hurt. He reached out into the darkness and tried to find something, anything, something to cling to and hold, something to stop the realization, the truth, the plain fact that he had ordered something done that he could never undo.

_She loved you, you know. _

The voice came unbidden to him. It was not his voice, but rather, a voice speaking to him from a deep, dark place within himself. The nothingness that made up his attribute roiled within him. His eyes narrowed, and he found himself responding.

"She still does. She still will." His voice was hoarse. "She's a little girl; full of trust, of love, of _life_. She understands. I know she does. This was for our _hearts..._"

The voice was silent. It knew it need not speak; Xemnas had worked himself up and was too far gone to realize he was speaking only to the nothingness and the heart-shaped moon above him.

"She knows why. She had to make this sacrifice! It could've been so much worse! _I could've made it worse! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT!" _He roared. "Would you RATHER I had made her suffer? Made her tear herself apart in the lab, sedated and filled with foreign seed!" His laugh was low and harsh. His mind was like a roiling ocean now, and the lack of emotions just made his monologuing easier. He paced the floor, feeling the darkness crackle like living lightning underneath him.

"Would you rather I played the villain?" He whispered, turning back to address the moon. "Would it have made this easier? If I had just gleefully rubbed my hands together and cackled with cruel glee, going and tearing her life in two for a whim?" His eyes filled with tears. He could only think of her smile and her touch.

"She's my little girl." He whispered. "She's my _baby." _

Something inside him broke. He staggered, collapsed, and slumped on the bed as he began to sob anew, tears soaking the sheets as he clung to the bed for dear life, as if it was going to fall out from underneath him.

She was his daughter. For want of a better word, she was...like his child. They'd taken her in and raised her, gave her a family, a home, a life...

And then he'd ruined it.

He buried his head in his hands and wailed, throat rough and raw.

Xemnas knew Saix had heard him cry, and finally, his pet entered their room. He looked up at the diviner and shuddered. Saix crossed the room quickly and sat on the bed while he stroked his hair. "I know you're hurting, Xemnas." He whispered. "I understand." Xemnas nodded, holding his diviner close.

"If...if there had been any other _way..._" He sobbed. "I did what I had to...I..." He buried his head in Saix's neck, and Saix heard the quiet weeping, feeling his master tremble against him. Saix stroked his hair.

"I know, Xemnas." He murmured. "I know." He felt his master nod against his skin.

"Thank you, Saix." He whispered. "I just...what's going to happen to us?" He murmured. "How bad will we all hurt, just seeing her in that pain...oh Saix, I didn't...didn't _want this..._" He looked up at Saix, and Saix suddenly saw how _human _his lover was. His eyes were hopeless, filled only with agony and guilt, sorrow making him a broken bird laying at his feet. Saix sighed, holding him closer.

"I know, Xemnas. No one would truly want this. But we can only do our best to get us through it. If you truly don't want to see her suffer, you'll do your best to keep us all stable." He said. "It's your duty as Superior." Xemnas nodded.

"It's the only thing I can do." As he looked up at Saix, his eyes were dark and resigned, his smile grim and wry. "After all," he whispered, "only the best for daddy's little girl."

He shook his head, burying his face in Saix's chest and closing his eyes. Saix held him close, observing him carefully.

Xemnas looked human. So fragile and tortured, restless even as he slept. He brushed his lips against his flushed forehead, cradling him close and feeling him tremble in his arms. Saix sighed, stroking his hair.

_Daddy's little girl..._He shook his head. _Does he love her that much?_

He knew without even having to consider the matter further that he did; that, frankly, they all did. Saix pulled Xemnas closer still, holding him tight against his chest. He looked up at Kingdom Hearts and then glanced back down at Xemnas' tearstained face.

_You had better accept this sacrifice, _he thought, eyes sharp as he gazed at the moon, _or I'll tear you apart myself._

_

* * *

_

Senayax woke up, still tightly pressed against Zexion. She shuddered and whimpered in pain. Her legs felt like someone had taken a belt to them, all sore and stinging. She shifted in bed, looking up to see her lover still asleep, hair mussed and hanging in his face. She reached up and tugged his hair gently, murmuring in his ear, "Zexion? Zexion, I hurt."

He stirred before finally opening his eyes to look at her. She blinked, shocked by the sudden fear in them as he took in her bloodstained body. She stroked his hair, trying worriedly to soothe him. "Zexion? Zexion, it's okay! I'm here, please don't be scared!" She said, kissing him frantically. He nodded and steadied himself, kneeling down and burying his face into her neck, picking her up and holding her close.

"God, I smell the blood." He whispered softly, pulling back the blankets. His worst fears had come true. There was blood on the sheets, god help him. He'd really done it, really gone through with what Xemnas had ordered him to do. He closed his eyes and shuddered, fighting down his gag reflex. Senayax seemed to know exactly what troubled him, and she shoved him slightly, jolting him out of his miserable reverie.

"Zexion, stoppit. I wanted t'make love t'you. I still do, an' I figure I'm always gonna want it. My legs just hurt, an' don't you remember when you said it was gonna hurt real bad?" She snapped. He looked up at his Yaya, his..._lover_, sitting on their bed and glaring down at him. He finally let himself moan with relief and pleasure.

"Yes. I did. I'm so very sorry. You're so beautiful...I want you too. I've wanted to make love to you for god-knows-how-long. We'll go take a bath, okay? My legs hurt, too." He whispered, managing a smile. She grinned.

"Good! I'm glad you don't feel so bad anymore." She said, taking his hand and leading him to the door as they both disappeared into the bathroom.

He drew the water while she sat on the edge of the tub, smiling at him and sticking her toes in the water while it rose. Eventually, she slid in, sitting on the edge of the tub still, and sighed with relief. "Okay, I feel much better now." She said happily. Zexion stood behind her, trying to take everything in. He'd done it. He'd finally taken her, and finally given in. He needed her. He needed her beauty, her body, her light, that beautiful scent that was hers alone. He wanted this.

He slid into the tub and situated himself between her legs, taking the washcloth and stroking the remnants of blood away. She smiled, feeling his fingers stroking her inner thigh. "Feels nice, Zexion." She said, stroking his hair and making sure he knew she was all right. He purred with obvious pleasure.

"I'm so glad..." He murmured. Then, looking up at her peaceful, blissful expression, he formed an idea. He put his head between her legs and licked her, kissing the lips of her vagina and sliding his tongue in gently. She shuddered and squirmed at his touch, squeaking slightly at the sudden sensations.

"Zexion, what are you doing?" She asked, voice high and breathy with shock. He laughed.

"Do you remember what you did to me with your mouth?" He purred. She nodded shyly, face reddening as she looked down at him. He grinned, amused by her reaction. "Exactly." She smiled in assent and tilted her head back. Zexion buried his head deeper in, nuzzling her stomach before dipping down to lick her again. He teased her insides before finding that same hard nub and licking it, swirling his tongue in a circle around it. She moaned quietly as she held his shoulders to steady herself.

He inhaled her scent, moaning with delight. It hadn't changed at all-it was still that cool, sweet darkness, and he was aroused just as much by it as he was her body. He shivered, resisting the urge to stroke his fast-hardening erection, wrapping his arms around her hips and pressing her closer, licking even when she shuddered with pleasure, trying to squirm away from the barrage of sensation. She was moaning his name, spreading her legs wider so he could bury himself deeper, letting him lose himself in her. Throughout all the pleasure, he focused only on her and her scent...and then he heard her.

"Zexion, I'm gonna come." She whispered, shuddering as she said it. He moaned, nodding as he began to lick faster, pushing against her clit with his tongue, listening to her soft cries until finally, he felt her tense, and heard her soft whisper of "...Zexion..." before she came in his mouth. He moaned, desperate for the taste as he licked her insides frantically, trying to keep it on his tongue. It was warm and sweet, and the scent and taste both overwhelmed him as he felt himself shudder in bliss. She looked down through her haze and realized he was still erect, almost painfully so.

"Can I help?" She asked, her voice whisper-soft as she looked up at him with innocent, pleading eyes. Zexion laughed.

"God, yes. Nothing I want more." He purred. She grinned and stood up, still unsteady as she knelt over him, straddling him. He watched her, uncertain if she would really do what she looked prepared for. That question went out of his mind, along with any other rational thought, as she rose slightly before sliding down gently onto his cock. He gasped and spread his legs wider, letting her get more comfortable.

She giggled and kissed his neck. He was shuddering with the sensation, and he knew she was enjoying both his obvious pleasure and the sensations themselves. She rose up again hesitantly, before sliding back down, burying him fully within her. He held himself still, completely entranced. Her expression was utterly blissful, and he felt himself tensing towards orgasm, the pleasure almost painful as he thrust his hips up to meet her. She gasped, and he knew she was going to come again soon. He pulled her close and suckled her breasts as she moaned quietly, shuddering as she slid down one more time before the both of them cried out the others' name, orgasm rocking them both.

It took a few minutes of holding each other, both exhausted again, before they could both sit in the tub chastely and clean each other off.

* * *

Sunny Jim shook his head, listening under the door for the sounds of The Key Bearer stirring. He heard a soft rush of breath and a shifting of blankets. The Key Bearer's Darkness was moving around the room. There was a hushed sound as drawers opened and clothes shifted. Sunny Jim made his move.

He slid under the door, the darkness that made up his body liquefying as he slithered into The Flame Bearer and Key Bearer's room. He noted with amusement that The Key Bearer jumped upon seeing him; such a shock seemed silly to Sunny Jim, but he didn't say so. He had more pressing matters at hand to discuss with The Key Bearer.

"Kree. Kree, kree...kree, reep. Reep, kree, kree-ree. Kree...kree." He knew The Key Bearer wouldn't understand a word, but he had been doing his best to explain with gestures. He only hoped the Key Bearer would know what he meant and wake The Flame Bearer. The Flame Bearer was the one who would fight The Monster and save his Mistress before it was too late. Sunny Jim wouldn't let it be too late.

The Key Bearer's eyes widened, and The Key Bearer opened his mouth. "Sunny Jim...don't...please. It's a joke." Sunny Jim sighed, shaking his head. Foolish Key Bearer. The Key Bearer should not have underestimated The Monster.

The Key Bearer seemed to understand that. The Key Bearer backed away, shaking his head. "No...no, shit. It's all wrong." The Key Bearer turned back to the bed. "Have to wake up Axel. Have to get Axel. Axel...AXEL!" The Key Bearer was shaking his shoulder now, panicking as he stood there, frightened and alone as Sunny Jim felt once he left the room, hoping The Flame Bearer would indeed rise to fight.

Roxas finally woke Axel up after a few more seconds of frantic shaking. The redhead snorted, rolling over in his sleep. "Rox? What's wrong?" He muttered, shifting to sit up and hold his arms out so Roxas could crawl into his embrace. Roxas's eyes were tear-bright as he tried to talk, and Axel sat up, already worried.

"He did it." Roxas choked out, trying not to cry. "Xemnas _did it." _Axel blinked, trying to kick his mind out of the morning's sleepy stasis.

"Did what, babe?" He asked. Roxas finally let himself cry, shaking his head.

"H-he...asked...Zexion, he asked him to...imp-impregnate Yaya..." Roxas sobbed. "He said yes...she said it was okay, that it was fucking _okay_, Sunny Jim told me, Axel, _Zexion got Yaya pregnant, Axel-"_He cut himself off with a sobbing wail as Axel held him close, trying not to cry himself.

"Rox...hell, just...hell." He whispered, holding his lover tighter and stroking his hair comfortingly. Roxas was crying, head buried into his neck while he sobbed without restraint. Axel tried not to tighten his grip, so as not to hurt Roxas, but he was _seething, _and he knew his body was heating up in response. Roxas kissed his neck, holding him tight for a moment before pulling away.

"It's all right." He said, but something fierce had lit up his lover's eyes, and he stormed towards the door, slamming it open and heading straight for Zexion's room.


	43. Inferno

(So yeah. As you can see, I really enjoy writing Axel as the psychopathic bastard that, despite being glossed over by fangirls, he kindofsortof _totally is. _Jeez. I mean, Christ, you guys, he basically fucks over the whole Organization for TWO GAMES. (Plus 358, but that game=dead to me.)

So anyways, yeah. Heavy chapter. That's...all I can say. Except for one more thing.

You think things are bad now?

They're gonna get worse.

Don't own KH, dedicated to my Pokemon because they're awesome.)

* * *

Axel stormed down the hallway, trembling with fury as flames seemed to light him up from the inside, sparking a raging fire that was all too happy to catch Zexion in the blaze. All he could focus on was the little girl he'd come to care about laying sobbing on the floor, innocence torn away by that _bastard. _

He stopped in front of their door and waited. He would bring Zexion out, and once he was done, he'd take Yaya as far away as possible. They'd go with Roxas, obviously, and...he sighed. Isa wouldn't come with them; he loved that monstrous motherfucker too much. He'd come back for him later. All he knew is that something had been destroyed, and now he was going to destroy someone.

Senayax had cuddled close to Zexion as soon as he'd stripped the sheets, throwing them as far away as he possibly could before he wrapped the blanket over the both of them. Then he heard someone knock, and he sighed. Shrugging his coat on, he headed to open the door.

Axel stood in front of him, and the incredibly vicious glance he pinned him with was deadly serious. Zexion swallowed, but stood his ground. "Axel." He greeted the Nobody, bowing his head slightly. Axel merely watched him for a moment, before narrowing his eyes.

"You raped her." He said quietly, voice flat and slicked with venom. "You took our Yaya, and you raped her."

Zexion's eyes widened as he shuddered. "Axel, it wasn't like that! For god's sake, why would I do that-" Axel snarled.

"Because you're Xemnas's dog, that's why. He tells you to _rape a little girl, _and you just nod and say _okay? _You _fucking ruined her!" _He screamed. Zexion snarled, and slammed a closed fist against the door as he faced Axel.

"It wasn't rape. Xemnas told me to do it, but it wasn't rape." He said, voice hushed and dark. Axel laughed darkly.

"Really? So fucking little girls_ isn't _rape now?" He spat, enjoying the pain etched into Zexion's face. Then he inhaled, clutching the doorframe for support.

"She_ loves _me. I didn't hurt her. I would _never. _Xemnas told me to do it, but that wasn't the _point-" _

Axel took Eternal Flames and slammed the spires into the wall, pinning him against the wall between two of the spikes. "_You raped her, _and you think you didn't _hurt her? _Are you a fucking _idiot? _YOU _RAPED A LITTLE GIRL_, IN CASE YOU HADN'T_ NOTICED_, ZEXION!" He roared. Zexion finally snapped and tore Eternal Flames from pinning him. He decked Axel, feeling the impact and ignoring the slight sting from his burning skin.

"I DID IT SO SHE WOULDN'T FUCKING TAKE IT FROM ANY OF _YOU_!" He screamed, as his whole body shuddered with pain. "I _kept her safe. _It was either _this, _Axel, or someone else would have. Xemnas wasn't going to go back on his plan, and if I hadn't...he would have. Or someone else, god only knows who he'd ask to tear themselves in two." He said, shaking his head to clear that thought away.

"At least I'll take care of her. At least I love her, and at least she still loves me. Do you know how _lucky _I feel right now, just because she didn't push me away this morning? So fuck you, Axel." Zexion whispered venomously. "It's damn easy for you to condemn me, but at least I cared enough to hold her after it was over." He spat. Axel snorted disdainfully.

"But you couldn't just say _no_, could you? You say it's because you 'care' about her, but _face it, _Zexion, you've wanted to fuck her from the word 'go', and finally,_ lucky you_, Xemnas asked you to do it, and you could _hide _behind your notions of _duty _while you fucked her senseless." He spat, watching the younger boy shudder in pain. His rage ignored it, forcing him to press on, savoring his agony.

"Did she _cry, _Zexion?" He purred. Zexion didn't answer, still shuddering. Axel laughed darkly. "Did you enjoy taking away the only innocence she had left, _tearing it away _so you could finally get something other than your _goddamn hand _for once_?" _Zexion was still quiet, merely shaking his head and mouthing, '_no' _over and over. Axel snarled.

_"_That's all this damn 'order' was about, wasn't it, being able to finally touch her while she cried? Was it just like your _fantasies_, Zexion? Did she _taste _good? Was it worth ravaging her innocence?" He snarled, spitting the words out of his mouth like they were poison. Zexion hissed, finally looking up to snarl back.

"In case_ you _haven't noticed, Axel, you've got a fifteen-year-old boy warming your bed. And you condemn _me_? For what? Keeping her _safe_? At least I had a reason to have sex with her, unlike _you! _You didn't seem to care about _Roxas' _innocence when you were _fucking him senseless_!" He roared. Axel snarled.

"Don't fucking start with me! I _love_ Roxas, and at least_ he understood what he was goddamn getting into!" _Axel screamed. "She didn't even _know!" _Zexion paused. After a second, he suddenly laughed, very little humor resounding through it.

"Well, now she does." He muttered darkly. Axel narrowed his eyes, but Zexion continued on. "None of you could've saved her. There was no way out of this. It was to get our hearts back, and no one would _refuse _Xemnas, after all. No one would let our dream of hearts get snatched away." He murmured, all of his emotion drained from his voice. Axel snarled.

"Yes, we would have. We would've said no, and we would've found another way." He hissed. Zexion simply looked up at him, and the haunted, tortured look in his eyes actually gave Axel pause.

"We'll never know now, will we?" He said quietly.

* * *

Zexion shut the door and looked back at Senayax, who had been listening the entire time.

Her eyes were filled with tears and he could see her hunched with pain, her tortured expression hurting him as much as a knife to the chest might. He walked towards the bed, unsure of what to say.

She watched him with haunted eyes. Shame and humiliation resounded in them, and as he came closer, she skittered away from him, tears dripping down her face. Zexion fought back the urge to scream, knowing it wouldn't get him anywhere. "Senayax." He whispered softly. She continued to cry. He bit back a wail of pain.

"Yaya, please." He begged, reaching out his hand to pull her close. She shuddered.

"M'not beautiful." She whispered, shame coloring her words. "M'just filth. M'nothin'... I'mma real Nobody, through an' through." She said softly. He moaned with agony. She shuddered with small hiccupping sobs, each as pitiful as the one before it. They were so shrill and so agonized that the mere sound of her drawing breath for another made Zexion want to claw at the sheets. He reached a shaking hand out to touch her.

"Senayax, please. You're so beautiful. So very, very beautiful." He said. He stroked her hair gently, delicately playing with the strands. He gasped softly with realization as he saw the sadness in her eyes. "Oh, Yaya, sweetheart..." He shook his head. "Axel was angry with me, not you. I'm sure he still loves you." He paused, and their eyes met. She blinked in surprise, watching him. He laughed, stroking her hair.

"Senayax, I still love you too. Okay? Don't be worried about that. No matter what happens, I'll always love you." He murmured. She looked up at him and smlied. It was another of her dazzling, brilliant sun-smiles, and he moaned with relief and happiness, cuddling her as close to his body as he could. "It'll be okay, Yaya." He whispered softly. "I love you so much. We'll get through this." She nodded weakly, exhausted.

"I trust you, Zexion..." She mumbled, sighing with happiness before she fell asleep. Zexion listened to her breathe, knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep now. He shuddered, thinking of what Axel had said. He hadn't wanted to do it. But yes, some part of him had wanted her desperately. He looked down at her as she slept, and the serene look on her face managed to soothe his doubts.

The only thing left for him to worry about was what everyone else would think.


	44. Forgotten

(I am really trying to put them all through the wringer, aren't I? I swear this is starting to border on sociopathy. I mean jeez.

DemDems, for those of you who remember his boss-fight-from-hell, can actually be quite a badass when he wants to be. I like writing that side of him; he's moeblob to the extreme, yeah, but there's a badass side to him that a lot of fanfics gloss over. And that makes me a very sad panda.

So yep, Xemnas. And you think it's cute...ish now, but don't let yourself get too lulled into a false sense of comfort. I'm being nice and warning you.

Don't own, would want to as long as I didn't have to deal with the fangirls.

Dedicated to being a big ol' hypocrite about the fangirl thing.)

* * *

Axel stormed down the hall, rage burning him and making him a human flame, weakening the stone under his feet and warming his coat. He had to go find Demyx and tell him. He needed to tell someone, anyway.

The blonde musician had been sitting in the library, looking through some sheet music and scratching out some scales on a notebook. Demyx looked up and blinked in shock the second Axel stormed in, heat shimmering around him as flames danced across his fingertips. "Hey, Axel! You look like you've seen a ghost. You okay?" He teased. Axel shuddered, and shook his head.

"No, Dem. I'm not." He whispered. Demyx sighed, and shook his head.

"Ah, I see. Come on, just tell me about it. It can't be that bad." He said cheerfully. Axel laughed darkly.

"Zexion raped Yaya." He said.

For a second, all the air left the room and Demyx stared up at him, eyes blank and uncomprehending.

Then he shook his head. "No." He said softly. "No, he loves her." Axel snorted derisively, shaking his head.

"Nah, not enough to tell our dear leader 'no' when he asks him to fuck her senseless and knock her up." He spat. Demyx gasped.

"Axel! That's what happened? That's different!" He snapped. "Xemnas ordered it?" Axel paused, shocked by Demyx's renewed reaction. He nodded slowly.

"According to Roxas, yeah." He said. Demyx shuddered, but shook his head and stood his ground.

"Then he didn't do it to hurt her. It hurt him, I know it did! Zexion's just afraid to show it! And...and, oh, poor Yaya..." He glared at Axel. "I bet she heard you screaming. I'm sure _that _really helped, Axel." He hissed. Axel glowered at him.

"How the fuck did this turn into my fault, Demyx? He was the one that fucked her!" He snapped. Demyx glared at him.

"Stop calling it that!" He screamed. "It's too _harsh! _That's _not _what he did!" Axel burst out laughing.

"Oh, I forgot, we can't call it what it is, because he didn't _mean _it!" He said mockingly, shaking his head. "What the hell do you want to call it, Demyx? Following orders? Is that the excuse you want to hide behind too?" Demyx shook his head.

"No. I want to call it what it is. He made love to her, Axel. He didn't ask Xemnas to do it, he didn't force her into it, he simply was backed into a corner. He did the best he could, and he had sex with her. It's not a good thing, but neither was the situation he was in." He said, pacing the floor. Something had sparked the musician's temper, and even Axel now watched him with trepidation.

"If you cared about Yaya, you wouldn't have stood there and screamed at him. I bet she was crying, Axel. Is that what you wanted to achieve?" He was speaking evenly, but the fury lacing his words gave Axel pause. Demyx took his silence as an affirmation and continued.

"No, I don't bet. I _know_. I'm sure she sat there on the bed, terrified and ashamed, because what she'd done her best to get through was now hurting the man she _loved_. I'm sure she started crying, and I'm sure she felt like _filth, _and I'm pretty damn sure that _you made it worse. _Way to go, Axel." He hissed.

Axel stared for a long minute. Demyx wasn't a coward or an idiot-he knew that-but to see him this enraged was so rare. He knew picking a fight right now wasn't a good idea, so he simply sighed and shook his head, turning to leave.

Demyx watched him go and then looked down at his sheet music. It took him a second to realize it, but the paper was stained with his tears.

* * *

Xigbar tensed, watching Axel storm down the hallway as heat shimmered around him. He opened his mouth, about to ask what had pissed him off so bad, but Axel had already disappeared. He sighed, and opened the door to the library.

Demyx paced the room, slamming his hands against the table, shuddering with rage as he screamed, curling up next to the chair and sobbing with anger. Xigbar's eye widened, and he bolted for his lover. "Dem? Demyx, are you okay?" He pleaded, picking Demyx up and situating him on the couch, stroking his hair worriedly as he pulled the younger boy close. Demyx shook his head.

"Xigbar...oh, _Xigbar_, Xemnas...Xemnas...he finally did it. He really did it..." He took a deep, shuddering breath, and nuzzled closer to Xigbar. "He ordered Zexion to, to...he..." Demyx couldn't say it, but Xigbar knew.

His eye went wide, and then narrowed. "I don't fucking believe him." He whispered. Demyx looked up, and shook his head.

"It wasn't Zexion's fault-" Xigbar cut him off, and shook his head.

"No, I know that! I mean Xemnas! That son of a _bitch!" _He roared. Demyx shuddered. He loved Xigbar, but when he got vicious, he became terrifying. Demyx held onto him to remind his lover he was still there for him as Xigbar screamed in frustration and hate, hands shaking as he clenched them tight.

"That bastard! I don't fuckin' believe this shit!" He roared, slamming a fist against the wall. "We were fucking _brothers! _We were a goddamned _family! _He _used _Zexion, used Zexion and Senayax both! How the fuck could he forget that?" He snarled. "He betrayed Zexion. He betrayed Yaya, and he hurt them both. Whether or not he fucking knew it, we were still his family."

All the rage went out of him suddenly, and he sagged against the wall, shuddering. "Oh, god, Dem." He said softly. "Demyx, we were a family." Demyx knelt to cuddle closer to his lover as he shuddered with pain. "We loved each other, Demyx. All of us. We were a family." He repeated, buring his face into his lover's neck. Demyx nodded, saddened.

"You still are." He said softly. "He just forgot."

* * *

The two of them had stayed quiet in the library, trying to seek solitude. But the others had known. It hadn't spread around physically, but the entire castle seemed to know.

First it had been Xaldin, Luxord following right behind as always. Demyx tried to play chess with him as Xigbar and Xaldin both lost themselves in notes and journals on the Heartless.

Larxene and Marluxia had come in together, and Lexaeus followed behind. This time, it wasn't only Lexaeus that observed the knives strapped so blatantly to her hip. She was pissed, for want of a better word, and they knew it. Lexaeus had stroked her and tried to soothe her, but they knew she was going to explode soon.

Vexen had come in, and the ice queen himself had cracked. He had retreated to Marluxia's side, and the guilt was obviously wracking his body.

"Wasn't your fault, Vex." Xigbar said softly. Vexen looked up at him, bottle-green eyes wide and filled with tears. Xigbar shuddered at the pure desperation in his eyes.

"I know, Braig." He said softly. Xigbar tensed. Vexen very rarely used their names, save for when he was distressed. He nodded.

"Even, you did what you had to do. If Xeh had asked anyone else, we would've done the same." He laughed darkly. "Sometimes, bonds don't break and loyalty doesn't waver, even when you want it to."

Vexen seemed to accept this, albeit with pain still etched into the lines on his face.

Axel breezed in with Saix and Roxas. Demyx looked up, and Axel bowed his head towards him, signaling some form of understanding. Demyx nodded with relief. He didn't want to have made Axel feel bad. Axel himself seemed to be wracked with similar pain, and shook his head in disgust, sitting in between Saix and Roxas.

They all seemed to have tried to take the same sort of solace in each other that they had yesterday. But the absence of the last two members of the Organization-the ones who had been hurt most by the order-ached like a missing limb.

Senayax watched Zexion sleep. She was just grateful his face was still serene, his breathing even and peaceful. Even after everything that had just happened, he was okay. She smiled, and kissed his forehead before standing up to dress. A big blue-green tie-dye shirt and purple pants, with the ever-present yellow sneakers. She looked down at them and shuddered. "Where am I gonna go, anyway?" She whispered softly. Then she realized it.

She needed to move. Get up and walk around. Suddenly, determination pierced her nonexistent heart.

"I en't gonna live inna cage." She said quietly. "I'mma live like I always do, 'cause I be brave. I en't gonna let this drive me crazy, an' I won't hide. Not from my family, of all people!" She snapped.

She turned and stormed out of her room. "I en't hidin' anymore." She muttered darkly.

Zexion turned on his side, and smiled as he watched her leave.

Peggy's mournful tune resounded through the library, no matter how many times Demyx tried to play something happy. He looked up at the others haplessly. "I'm so sorry, guys..." He said softly. "I don't know what's gotten into her. She always listens to me!" Xigbar shrugged, and leaned against the couch.

"Dem, didn't you say she was like an extension of yourself?" He replied, sitting up straight. "Guess you're just too sad to play something happy." He murmured. Demyx nodded, and clutched Peggy to his chest.

Then a small knock resounding on the door reached their ears. Everyone froze. Axel was the first to find his voice. "Come in." He said, his voice painfully loud in the newly-made silence.

The door opened, and Senayax stood there, head held high. No one knew what to say. She stood proud, and there were no tears in her eyes. She met their eyes, and smiled. "En't hidin' anymore." She whispered. "Not from my family."

Demyx tried to play Peggy again, and this time, the strings vibrated with joy.

Zexion breezed in a short while later like nothing was wrong. He picked up Senayax, and she cuddled close to him on his lap, humming happily as she closed her eyes. Sunny Jim chittered in the corner, as Demyx tossed a paper ball for him to chase. It was quiet, peaceful, and oddly comforting to be there. Everyone was lost in their thoughts.

That was why no one noticed when Xemnas walked in.

Everyone looked up as he sat down on his couch, tilting his head back and staring at Kingdom Hearts. Saix shuddered, and would've called his name if Axel hadn't grabbed his shoulder. Vexen's eyes were tightly shut as he clung to Marluxia and tried to stifle tears. Larxene snarled, but Lexaeus gripped her hand tightly. The whole room was tense, its' breath drawn as it prepared for their next move.

Senayax got off Zexion's lap, and walked over to him. Every footfall resounded through the room like a gunshot, and for a horrible moment, they all thought the noise had deafened them before they realized it was just silence. Xemnas didn't move, didn't even breathe as she walked towards him. They all just waited.

She climbed in his lap and pressed a book in his hands. Tears filled his eyes as he read the title. "Please read this to me." She whispered. He opened the book, and tried not to cry as he read aloud.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful rabbit who was loved by a wonderful little girl..."


	45. Talking Back to the Monster

(Seriously, this is probably the most badass thing I've ever had Yaya do. And it's great, so great. You'll know it when you see it, but I swear I was writing it and practically going "YOU GO GIRL" at my desk.

Xigbar kills a lot of childhood icons. I think at last count he got Pooh Bear, (but he got better), Flounder, Sebastian, Tod's mom, and probably other cute Disney creatures. He probably makes a point of it in every world to shoot something small and adorable.

So yep. That's really all about this chapter. Don't own KH~

Dedicated to my new goal of getting ALL 493 Pokemon in my Pokedex. Because I gotta catch 'em all. Wish me luck~)

* * *

By dinner, everything seemed to have become itself again...but not quite. Because they knew what was coming soon. Senayax sat on Zexion's lap, and everyone noted that the only good thing that had come out of this nightmare was the fact that they were unafraid to show that they loved each other.

"Look, if you're going to burn dinner, Lea, burn something I _don't _like." Saix grumbled, throwing out a tray of biscuits in disgust. Axel snorted in disdain.

"Okay, puppy, I forgot, doing something nice for someone is a bad thing. I guess you learned your lesson when you brought Xemnas that 'present'." He purred. Saix turned and snarled at him, and Xemnas actually fought back a smile.

"Ohh. Hey Axel, what did he do?" Senayax piped up. Axel bit back more laugher, and sat down at the table again, head in his palms and elbows on the table as he began his story.

"Oh, our darling little puppy decided he was going to please his master one day, and since this was when Isa wasn't exactly _housebroken," _the berserker moved to punch Axel as he said this, but he caught Saix's fist and threw him back in Xemnas's lap, where he was cuddled close ferociously. "He decided to bring Xemnas home some 'spoils of the hunt' as it were, and if I recall correctly, it was a deer of some sort, a doe, I think..." He trailed off, as Demyx's eyes got wide.

"You guys killed Bambi's mom! You guys killed Bambi's mom!" He wailed, clutching Xigbar. "Xigbar, _they killed Bambi's mom!" _His lover snorted.

"Ohyeah, I remember that. That was a damn good dinner, too." He said thoughtfully, laughing as Demyx howled in anguish. Everyone had started laughing now, and the conversation ended up lasting well into the night, none of them wanting to get up and leave.

* * *

Senayax undressed and got in bed, spreading out over her pillow naked, giggling mischievously as Zexion raised an eyebrow. "Now, my sweet little princess, up to mischief, are we?" He teased, undressing in kind as he walked towards the bed and pounced, cuddling closer to her and burying his face in her chest as he moaned. She giggled and squirmed, kissing his forehead.

"Mebbe, Zexion!" She chirped, squealing with delight as he began to suck one of her fast-hardening nipples, licking and teasing it as she moaned. He kissed both in turn, before laying down and cuddling her close.

He inhaled her scent once again as his body thrummed with delight in response to hers. To him, her scent was almost painfully heady and thick when she was naked, so wonderfully sweet that he could inhale it forever. He stroked her chest and kissed her cheeks before kissing her lips once more. She wrapped her legs around him and sighed with happiness.

Zexion got an idea as he watched her in his bed, so content and peaceful. He reached out towards his bookshelf and fumbled for a book, brushing familiar spines until he found one. He tugged it out and held it up to her. "Does _Tales of the Keyblade Bearers _sound good to you, Yaya?" He murmured. Her eyes got wide.

"Z-Zexion?" She whispered. He gave her a small smile.

"Nothing has changed, Yaya. I mean...nothing important. I don't care what's happened, my dear, but I swear to you, I will always make sure you fall asleep smiling." He whispered, cradling her close. She held him for a moment, small, hiccuping sobs wrenching their way from her throat. He murmured sweet nothings into her ear, stroking her hair and supporting her against his chest.

"I love you so much." She whispered. "Th-thank you..." Her smile as she looked up at him was brilliant, genuine, and so hopeful he almost started to cry himself.

"Love you too, Yaya." He murmured, opening the book. With a small yawn, he started to read-and then realized she was reading along with him.

"Once, when the land was close to its' heart, it would choose Knights to serve the hearts of all its' people..." Their voices were in perfect unison, and as Senayax looked up at him and giggled, he could only hold her close and smile.

The two lay entwined in bed, and he stroked her back until she fell asleep close to him, exhausted from the day's events.

* * *

The next day was quiet. Senayax had woken up far before anyone else, and she shuddered. It was frigid all of a sudden, cold striking her in the face as she lifted back the blanket. She crept out of bed very reluctantly, but she had to get out of it, she knew that. The desire to move had overtaken her, and she got up without complaint.

She dressed quickly in a pair of Zexion's pajamas, buttoning the navy-colored top and pulling the matching pants and pink socks on. She thought carefully for a second before she decided she wanted to go to the library.

The hallways were empty as she walked to the library. The marble floor was cool under her feet, even through her thick pink socks, which cushioned each step. The silence was undisturbed, and for a second, she felt something pulse under it, but it was gone and dismissed within a moment. She looked up at Kingdom Hearts, and she felt her chest throb with empty misery as she gazed at its' glowing visage.

"Did I do it right?" She asked softly, the words like shouts in the silence. The moon didn't respond for a long time, so she closed her eyes and sunk into her own darkness.

_I'mma ask again. Did I do it right? _She said. The darkness seemed to pulse with faint color around her, becoming comfortingly fuzzy and benign. She reached out to stroke it, only pulling her hand back at the last second when she realized the darkness was entirely in her own mind.

_Perhaps. _A wan, tired voice finally replied. Senayax sighed with relief, but the voice of the moon continued. _However, you've forgotten the one niggling variable. The Bookeyman himself. _Senayax shook her head.

_He en't the Bookeyman, he's the Boogeyman. I'm not a baby anymore. _She said quietly. The moon sighed.

_You certainly aren't. Hollowmoon would be pleased, if that wretched thing _can _be pleased. _It said darkly. Suddenly, the fuzzy, vaguely-colored darkness began to get thicker, swampier, and muddier-looking, feeling and looking like someone had packed mud into her thoughts.

_Actually, he can be. _The new voice said dryly. The high, nasally whine was still there, but he definitely seemed inclined more towards amusement now. _Especially since that prettyboy finally realized exactly where he wanted his cock; shoved tight between her legs. _Senayax felt tears sting her cheeks on the outside. That world didn't matter to her right now, but the pain resounded clearly through her mind.

_Stop that nonsense immediately, Hollowmoon. She may not be a baby, but she's your moon and you _will _show this girl respect. _The moon said, voice sheathed in ice. Hollowmoon whined teasingly, the high tone hurting her ears and making the darkness throb with her wince of pain.

_Yes, my dear heart. I forgot, the sweet little girl is going to save us all. _He drawled. _How very, very convienient._

_She went through a lot to get here. What have you done, you rat-birthing swine? _The moon snapped. Hollowmoon giggled.

_I done got her here in the first place. Remember, she would've stayed alive, and therefore useless to us, unless I'd interfered. _He purred. Senayax finally realized something.

_You made Yasena kill herself, didn't you? _She said, voice cold and harsh as ice. Hollowmoon snorted with amused contempt, rolling his massive rose-colored eyes.

_I'll ignore the fact that you just referred to who you once were in the third person, and I'll state the truth. I'm a monster. I don't answer to you. _He said, leering at her with his needle-fanged grin. Senayax snarled, her own darkness pulsing with anger as she stared him down.

_'Til I get to be beautiful like the rabbit, I'mma monster just like you. So I don't gotta answer to you neither. Did you make me-her-Yasena, did you make her die? _She snapped. The moon seemed to be distant, evidently waiting this one out.

_I didn't. _He finally said with another roll of his rose-colored eyes as if he was showing contempt at her apparently foolishness. _She killed herself because she ate her grandfather. I just took the darkness in her heart and used it for my own purpose-namely, making you. You're needed, more than she ever was. _Senayax opened her mouth to protest, but Hollowmoon interrupted her.

_Don't deny it. The only man that cared about her was a man who couldn't get it up anyway. Her parents would've let her die-they didn't care, one way or another, not at that point. I didn't put that darkness in their heart. I didn't put the darkness in your heart, or in your grandfather's heart, or precious little Ienzo's heart, or anyone's heart. I just think it's yummy. _He teased. The moon finally spoke.

_You go too far, Hollowmoon. Every human being is needed. Every human being has a soul. _The moon replied. Hollowmoon snorted.

_My rotting, shabby tail they do. Half of them don't even seem to notice. Face it, they're just like you, dear heart-they're all pretty and sparkly on the outside, but there is nothing but emptiness on the inside. _He purred. The moon continued to stay silent. Hollowmoon giggled. _Although, you have me to fill in all that emptiness. The humans stick with their darkness, but you and I, my dear...we are something _greater _than darkness_.

Senayax herself stayed quiet this time, realizing that this was a dance that had been going on before she or anyone else had been born. The moon merely sighed.

_We are nothing except existence. Benevolent or otherwise. _The moon sounded as horribly tired as Senayax felt. Finally, she spoke, interrupting both creatures in their argument.

_That's what I want to know. Is this going to work? This existence...because of what...happened to me. _She muttered, unable to say it any louder. Part of her knew, sexual naiveity aside, that if she tried to discuss the pleasure and joy in place of the shame she'd expected to feel when she and Zexion had made love, Hollowmoon would tease her and make her joy filthy, and she'd never get anywhere. Part of her just didn't want to say it, all the same. It had been beautiful, and right now, she wasn't.

Hollowmoon, surprising both her and the moon, replied first.

_Keep it under wraps. _He said. _Because I made you, little moon, and I can take that body and make it mine anytime I please. _Senayax needed no elaboration; she simply nodded.

_I'll be a good monster. _She muttered, tone dark as she gazed up at him with clear disgust. Hollowmoon barked with laughter, thumping his bald tail against the floor. The moon huffed in disgust.

_Little moon, I can't tell you that. Not because I don't wish to, but because I don't know. This is something that's never been attempted with Kingdom Hearts before, not even by Ansem the Wise himself. _The moon said. Hollowmoon continued giggling.

_Not so wise in the end, was he? Little brats of his paid for it, too! Should've _seen _little Ienzo's face, he was all sad and weepy before I ate his heart, begging me to stop _hurting _his _family_! They were all he had, can you believe that? He even offered to _die_ to save the others! _Hollowmoon chuckled with dark glee. _Idiot._

There was no beast to change into this time. This time, the monster was Senayax herself.

_**You shut the hell up about Zexion. **_Her voice resounded through the darkness, and after awhile, when she'd calmed, she'd be surprised by the deep loathing in her own voice. However, right now, she was lost in the moment. _**You shut your face up, pigfolker, an' you never say nothin' 'bout him again. **_

The darkness was no longer colorful or swamp-thick. It was simply cool and sweet, like a new moon's private sky right on the edge of midnight. It was her own darkness, and she was okay with that.

_He's _mine_.__They're _all _mine._You_ didn't make them this time.__So you shut up. You'll never be as great as them. Not to me. Not _for_me. _She spat.

_I never wanted to be _for_ you. I wanted to be _in _you. _Hollowmoon purred. She snarled, but before she could fire back another retort, the color returned and the moon spoke.

_Both of you stop it. Senayax, I can't tell you. I'm sorry. Just let it be. Make your way through this, and hope it works. _The moon said. Senayax had a feeling there was something she was missing, but she didn't know what. She sighed.

_An' if it doesn't? _She asked.

The moon took so long to reply Senayax thought they'd both just stopped talking.

_I don't know. _The moon murmured, its' voice a tired whisper. Senayax simply nodded, and opened her eyes.

The hallway stretched out before her, as if time hadn't inched forward a second since she'd closed her eyes. She was never sure if it had. She simply kept walking, going straight for the library to find what she'd been waiting to see for herself.

Zexion awoke slowly, realizing that Senayax wasn't in bed. He sighed and sat up, shaking sleep from his thoughts. He wanted to talk to her about why she kept leaving their bed, but he'd have to find her first. He laughed softly to himself, and got out of bed, realizing where to find her. She had to be in the library. The darkness swallowed him up and he disappeared, ready to find her.

Senayax stretched and shivered with a sudden chill. Sunny Jim had come in to sit with her later in the morning, and she could hear the sounds of everyone starting to wake up. But she didn't want to leave. It was safe and familiar in here.

The pale lavender-tinted light spilled through the window, pouring out onto the floor. It made the thick silver carpet seem to shine, and she stuck a foot into the light and wiggled her toes, giggling as they began to glow a soft lilac.

"Yaya, sweetheart?" Zexion asked, appearing just in front of the couch. The amethyst light caught his hair and made it shine as it shifted gently around his face. As he stood there, barefoot and nervous, he was more beautiful to her than he ever had been. Senayax smiled at him, unsurprised by his appearance.

"Mornin'." She whispered. Zexion appeared pained, and her face scrunched up with concern. "Zexion? Are you okay?" She asked. He shuddered.

"Yaya, is something wrong with our bed?" He asked quietly. "You've been leaving these past few days, on and off. I'm worried." He whispered softly. "Is it because of what we did?" She huffed, and shook her head.

"For th' zillionth time, no! I just woke up, an' came in here!" She paused, and their eyes met. Zexion shuddered. The gaze that pinned him in his place was haunted, and so terribly sad that he tried to force his muscles to move, just so he could hug her.

"Zexion, I love you. But you gotta stop worryin'." She murmured, voice soft as she tried to smile at him. "None of this was your fault." He shook his head.

"N-no...it was, Yaya, it was...If I'd been more careful, if I'd never kissed you, or said anything until we'd reached Kingdom Hearts, this wouldn't have happened-" He was interrupted when she slapped him. It took him a minute to register it, and then he realized he wasn't feeling any pain. Her hand was still pressed against his cheek.

"Stoppit." She whispered tearfully. "You stoppit right_ now_." She shook her head. "If you'd never said anythin', we'da both suffered. We woulda just danced around each other, an' been lonely and miserable. I didn't want t'be lonely an' miserable, and I bet you didn't either." She wailed with a sudden, frustrated agony.

"_You_ _gotta trust me when I say I love you!" _She screamed as she stamped her foot against the carpet in simply watched her as she shivered, hugging herself tightly._ "_So please, Zexion..." Her eyes filled with tears. "Please, Zexion, I love you so much..." She buried her face into his chest and started crying. He let her cry and murmured soft words of comfort as he stroked her hair. She shuddered with every sob, but he held her steady.

"I'll be all right, Yaya. It's okay. I love you too. It's okay. We're together now. We can't go back and change it, and I don't want to, either." He said softly. She nodded, trying to stifle her tears. He kissed the top of her head and smiled. "It'll be all right. I promise to trust you." He whispered. She nodded, burying her face in his chest. He picked her up, balancing her on his hip and examining the diary.

"You want to hear the stories." He said quietly. She nodded. He smiled, and stroked her hair. "I understand. Maybe...we'll all show you. Later. Promise." He kissed her again, and she kissed back and slipped out of his embrace. She took his hand in her own, and walked down the hall with him, diary left on the table once more.


	46. Returns and Reunions

(OHEY GUYS LOOK NO ORGANIZATION IN THIS CHAPTER

SCANDALOUS

Anyways, yeah. This is THE RETURN OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS. Oh. My. God.

Hey, the whole fic wasn't just about the Organization, yo. xD I've been waiting to bring them all back; I miss writing Sora. He's so innocent and happy and not riddled with angst and drama. Besides, he's cute. :3

Now, since it's not a very big spoiler, considering you'll read it in like five minutes; why does Kairi not go OMFG when she sees Namine? I did mention it awhile back, but I figured I'd make it clear again; this time around, Kairi already knows of Namine's existence, since she didn't just bugger off to the islands again; I will not have a potential badass leaving my fic, nope. I am still SO PISSED about how they treated her, but I won't start ranting yet, or I'll NEVER stop.

Okay, so that's really it. :3 I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it's been a long time comin'.

Don't own KH, do own a little handmade Keyblade for when I feel like being a dork and doing finger puppet versions of Kingdom Hearts.

Dedicated to Christopher Lee because HEY ANSEM'S BACK YOU GUYS also I love him anyways so :3)

* * *

Sora looked around the Gummi Ship, holding his Keyblade close. He sighed, and looked up at the vast expanse of sky. Donald and Goofy were down in the hull, fixing one of the navigational gummies, and he was piloting the ship by himself. He closed his eyes for a second, and as he always did when the ship needed a smile, he thought of both of his friends.

They were trying to find out the whereabouts of the Organization's world. They hadn't been able to find anything worth investigating, but Sora had thought of an idea quite some time back. If he could just find Senayax...she'd lead him right to the Nobodies. He sighed, heart heavy as he pictured the little girl. She'd changed drastically between the time they'd met in her hometown and when she'd met with him in Hollow Bastion.

She had been a child when she'd been in her hometown. Scared, confused, and despite all that, deadly. The beast had well-evidenced that. But underneath the monster those circumstances has forced her to be, she had been a sweet little girl.

But after that, she'd disappeared. Something had happened to her in that swamp, and something had happened when she'd gone back with them. All of that had changed her.

The woman-child he'd met in Hollow Bastion was a ramshackle imitation of a woman, someone who was cunning and vicious, who walked with a swagger. But it was like a shirt that was too big for a child-it masked only bits and pieces, and sagged around the edges. That little girl who had believed he'd find her memories, who had smiled at him with a face as bright as a full harvest moon, whose face had lit up when she'd seen the Organization itself coming to find her...she was still in there.

Sora didn't know if that swagger and cunning had grown with her now...if the maturity had begun to fit tighter over her. He didn't care. Because that sweet little girl was under there. That was who he wanted to save.

He tried to think about where they could find a navigation gummi to help them find the Organization, and then figured he might as well go find Cid and ask. With this in mind, he felt incredibly confident. Perhaps he'd go help Donald and Goofy fix the ship-

A loud _crunch _vibrated throughout the entire ship. There was a loud squawk and a shriek of surprise. Sora immediately winced, jolted out of his prideful glee.

"Sora!" Donald yelped from belowdeck. "You crashed us into a meteor _again!"_

_

* * *

_

King Mickey looked up into the darkness, watching Riku and Kairi cross Keyblades as they hit a Novashadow before darting away in unison to take on two separate Possessor Heartless. He sighed heavily. He could feel the darkness stirring. He knew the children felt it too, but they both kept their silence. He couldn't blame them for that. This would be the first time they'd ever felt something like this.

The king had felt something like this before, though. Once before, a long time ago. Back before Radiant Garden had fallen and Hollow Bastion had stood proud and tall, with a king ruling within.

Back when six young boys had possessed their hearts.

Mickey knew what he needed to do. "Riku. Kairi." He called out, watching as the two young Knights stopped in their tracks and turned to him.

"Your Majesty?" Kairi ventured, seeing the worry across his features and the tired way he held himself. The king sighed.

"We have to go to Ansem. We need to talk to him." He said, shaking his head and pulling his coat tighter around himself. Riku blinked, surprised.

"Your Majesty, what do we need him for? We've been surviving the Heartless on our own just fine!" He snapped. Kairi glared at him, and Mickey watched with amusement as he seemed to shrink slightly, muttering unintelligibly under his breath.

"Hush, Riku! If the king has a reason, there's a justification for it. Please explain, Your Majesty?" She asked politely. Riku rolled his eyes, still glaring at Kairi as Mickey smiled.

"There certainly is. You two know there's something off about the darkness as well as I do, but Ansem might have answers as to why. Now hurry up, we'll find some Heartless along the way." He said, disappearing with a swish of his longcoat off into the darkness. Both Kairi and Riku adjusted their own coats and followed straight after him.

They reappeared in a mansion; the mansion itself was creaky, decrepit, and dark, cobwebs across the ceiling and dust on the walls. Mickey groaned. "Typical Ansem. If it's not his study, the whole place can fall apart for all he cares." He muttered, but affection made his tone lighter. Kairi nodded, staying away from the walls so as not to inhale dust and sneeze. Riku watched the floor intently, daring a spider to crawl across his path.

Mickey beckoned to them. "It's the door down on the left; you can tell, it's the only clean one in the whole place." He said, making sure they were following him before he rapped on the door twice with his Keyblade.

Ansem wasn't surprised in the slightest when he heard a knock on his study door. He put his notes down and called, "Come in, old friend. Bring your Knights with you, as well." The king opened the door, and the trio entered the study.

Both Riku and Kairi observed the shelves of books with pure awe, stunned by the well-kept study. The rest of the mansion was in some sort of state of ruin, but the study was immaculate. Ansem smiled, but there were bags under his eyes, and they could see his eyelids flutter as if he was about to fall asleep right there on occasion. Kairi spoke first.

"Wise Ansem, sir, the king told us that the darkness was changing. Do you know why?" She asked. Ansem laughed, a deep, rolling, baritone sound.

"My lady, you need not address me by any title. Nor you, sir Knight. You are something the Bastion has needed desperately for a long time, and I am honored to be in your presence." He said. The fact that he meant it made both teens shrink with embarrassment slightly. Ansem shook his head in amusement, and continued.

"At any rate...I must ask, what do you mean by 'changing', my lady? The darkness is a constant presence in our world...and in our hearts." He said quietly. Riku flinched, a visible shudder passing through his body as his throat convulsed. Kairi took his hand and squeezed it tight. He squeezed back, the gesture barely noticeable. Kairi thought for a moment.

"Well, like the king said. It seems like...when you're walking on solid ground, and it's getting yanked out from under you. That's what the darkness feels like now. Like our footing is being yanked out from under us. And..." She paused for a moment, trying to find the best way to put her feelings into words. "It's _scary_. Even with a Keyblade, I feel so...small." She whispered. Riku wrapped his arms around her, pulling her slightly closer and holding her hand. Ansem nodded.

"Understandable. The darkness is a vast and dangerous terrain. However, you're right. There's something wrong. However, not even I know what that wrongness is, or what it means." He said. "But...I do have my theories." He said, folding his hands together and leaning slightly on his desk.

King Mickey looked at him, and the two shared a glance. Riku caught the movement and interrupted, eyes hardening as he surveyed them both with a harsh gaze. "What theories?" He asked. The tone of his voice demanded answers. Ansem sighed.

"My son." He whispered. "Xehanort." He paused, and even though the king had not given any emotion away, Ansem knew what he wanted to say. "I know, Mickey. He's not my son, and he no longer goes by that name. But allow a father, adopted or otherwise, to let himself dream?" He sighed, a bitter smile on his lips. Mickey nodded.

"You loved them." He whispered. Ansem nodded.

"I still do. They're my boys, my children, my sons, Mickey." He sighed heavily before he began to tell the story.

"I went back to Hollow Bastion some time ago. It was just a trip to relive old memories, nothing more. But apparently, I was not the only one who had decided to relive old memories that day. My son, Xehanort, was there as well." He said. Kairi's eyes got wide.

"Wait, Ansem, there's just one thing I have to know. What name does he go by now?" She asked. Ansem raised an eyebrow.

"Xemnas, my lady. Why?" He asked. They were all stunned by the sudden surprised look that spread across her features as she gasped, clutching her Keyblade.

"Wait, I think I met him." She said slowly. "Tan skin, silver hair, golden-amberish eyes, super-deep voice, boyfriend named Saix?" She asked. Ansem nodded.

"Indeed. That is my son...but how did you meet him, Kairi?" He asked, stunned. Xemnas had met a Keyblade Knight and not attempted to subdue them? He shook his head. His son continued to surprise him, after all this time. Perhaps...even as a Nobody...parts of them had clung to humanity. That had to be it. The look in their eyes when they had seen him...that had to be their humanity shining through; he would accept no other answer.

"Um, I think...something must have happened to Saix, because he was storming through the darkness and screaming for him. I found him there, and he was about to pass out, so I went to help him. I used the power of the Keyblade to find the world Saix was in, and he smiled at me...and said thank you. I didn't know he was your son...I would've said something." She murmured. Ansem shook his head.

"Don't blame yourself; to do so would be foolish. You showed yourself as a fine Princess of Heart, and a Keyblade Knight, by helping him. I am honored to have you as the Princess of Hollow Bastion." He replied. Kairi smiled shyly, clutching her Keyblade and looking away. He sighed.

"At any rate, we...reunited, for a time. Xehanort...may have been planning something. To get their hearts back. He didn't tell me what. I couldn't ask him. You have to understand that. Please. They just wanted to come home." He said softly. Finally, and he cursed himself for doing this, he let himself cry again. "My boys just want to come _home." _

Kairi grasped his shoulder and squeezed it gently. "They will come home. But we need to find out what's happening to the darkness. Maybe it's not a bad thing. But either way, we need to find out. Ansem, can you help us? Surely you have texts on this." She said. He sighed.

"Yes...but..." He paused. "Namine!" He called. She finally opened the door, and poked her head in, clutching her sketchpad close to her chest. Ansem smiled at her. "Namine, I think we're going to need you to help. Are you up to it?" He asked. She looked at Riku, Kairi, and Mickey with wide eyes, blinking owlishly at them before looking up to nod at Ansem.

"Yes...I think so. What is it you need?" She asked softly. Ansem gestured to her sketchbook. She clutched it closer. "You're not going to take it away, are you?" She said. Ansem shook his head.

"Of course not, Namine. However, I need you to use that notebook to open a path into Sora's mind. Is that possible?" He asked. Namine shrugged.

"I don't...know. I can work with his memories, and the memories of the people around him, but... Wait." She said, chewing on her lip in thought. "Kairi, Riku? Do you think...you could let me into your mind? If I draw what you feel...I might be able to keep a connection with Sora...for a little while, at least. He's so close to you, and he misses you...if I can bring all your memories out and tie them together, maybe it'll work." She said. Ansem nodded.

"Brilliant, Namine. We'll try that as soon as we can. For now, we must try to find any texts that we think could assist us in our goals. I'm afraid my library's a bit lacking since I moved here, but I believe we can find something that will suit our purposes." He said. Everyone nodded, and Namine took Ansem's chair as he stood, settling into it and opening her sketchpad.

As she began to draw a pathway, all of the others got to work.


	47. The Gunslinger and the Chief

(VALENWIND FLUFF WHAT KIND OF HERESY IS THIS

Oh yeah. Vin was even supposed to be in KH, but he was just too emo. That's right, Square Enix, king of the emo bishonen empire, took a look at Vincent Valentine and said, "nah, too emo." Gods above.

Also, KH!Cid kind of drives me nuts, since they basically had to strip him entirely of his character to work in an E rated game. Although how games about flaming queers, genocide, transsexual Sue-Clone things, and abominations against god, light, and mercy got E ratings, I'll never know.

So he's back to his slightly-drunk, (I always saw him as the type to like dropping a nice shot into his evening tea~), foulmouthed, mangle-mouthed self that he always was in FFVII. I'm not gonna lie, I don't like his voice actor in the Compilation/Complication, because he sounds so...Southern. No disrespect to Southerners, I just hear him with a really heavy New York/New Jersey accent. Maybe a bit of drawl, but wevs.

BTW, Sora not having a Gummi is an important plot note, so even if he did have one in canon, screw it, he doesn't now. Donald ate it or something.

Oh, and Cleon. I don't ever even make it explicit, so you can just go "oh they're just bffs," but yeah. Cloud tries to get Leon drunk. Discuss.

Yuffie is so a yaoi fangirl. Aerith is a lot more flirty and teasing than most people give her credit for, but I think she'd be too intimidated by Cid and Vincent's wrath to stalk them with a camera. And Tifa is Tifa. I love Tifa. :3 I wish she'd let Cloud be emo with Sephiroth though, and go back to Rude. I mean, he's voiced by Crispin Freeman, Tifa, you need to run into his arms and ravish that man!

Oh yes, Tifa is the seme. Always.

Right, so quick note; Vincent's claw-arm is just a gauntlet thing, not his real arm. I figure he uses it to cover up horrific scarring, because while Stupid Sexy Hojo might be, well, that, he's also a horrific monster and does mean things. (Understatement of the century.)

All right, so, don't own KH or Final Fantasy VII, which is good, because seeing the amount of fanbrats that the Compilation-cation has wrought, I'd sooner die.

Dedicated to the delicious chocolate on my desk. Om nom nom.)

* * *

Sora had continued steering the Gummi Ship, trying not to let his thoughts turn towards the Nobodies. He knew he had to get to Hollow Bastion.

Sora looked up at the sky. "The sun's gonna set soon. Are we almost to Hollow Bastion?" He asked. Donald checked the radar.

"Looks that way! We'll be there by nightfall, I'm sure of it!" He said cheerfully, as Goofy nodded in agreement. The ship was steered in silence for awhile, leaving the three to their own thoughts. About an hour passed, and the night had indeed started to blanket the sky as soon as the ship hit Hollow Bastion.

Sora got off the Gummi Ship first, and looked around. The lights were on inside most of the buildings and houses, but Sora knew that Leon's house was a bit farther back. He headed off towards the house, and then sighed. Even with the lights on, it was still hard to walk around in the dark.

"Vin, yeh dumb bastard! If I've tol' ya once, I've tol' ya twice, yeh can't try to take apart the goddam engine with tha' goddam claw! Th' fuck won't yeh take it off fer?" Cid's voice, however, was easily identifiable. Sora winced, and made his way toward the curse-laden argument.

A cool, clipped voice hit Sora's ears. "Chief, I'm not taking it off. You know what happened to my arm. I won't curse you with my mangled appearance." Sora blinked. He'd never heard this person before, but Cid seemed to know him.

"Yeh what? Are you shittin' me? Gawd, yeh're really a moron, aren' ya? Y'wanna know what I think of yer appearance?" There was a pause, and Sora winced, already picturing the vicious grin Cid got when he yelled to embarrass people.

"No, no, no chief, no oh please Gaia _don't-"_

"I THINK YER FUCKIN' BEAUTIFUL, VINCENT!" He roared, and an embarrassed wail followed soon after. Sora burst out laughing, and ran up to the door of the house. Leon was already waiting outside, sharing a beer with Cloud. The porch was lit with a small paper lantern, and it cast a warm glow on the two of them. Sora was unsure of going up; he didn't want to ruin the moment. Both of them looked at peace, and it was a nice thing to see. But they were both experienced warriors with unnaturally heightened senses, so he figured that his hiding wouldn't last long.

"Hey, Sora." Cloud said, noticing him first and sitting up. "What brings you here?" Sora huffed.

"It's about the Organization. And the darkness..." He said, trailing off as he realized he was unsure of what to say. However, Leon nodded, apparently understanding exactly what he meant. The gunblader stood up and stretched, beckoning them both in.

"I see. Come on, Aerith made dinner, and there's some left over. We can discuss this inside." He said as both Sora and Cloud followed him in.

The first thing Sora noticed as he walked in was the familiar irate pilot. The second thing he noticed was the unfamiliar raven-haired man.

The _third _thing he noticed was that they were making out on the table.

Leon huffed and rolled his eyes, slapping the pilot upside his head. "Cid, god damn it, Sora's here. This is the last thing he needs." Sora watched, unable to really look away, his eyes so wide they felt like they were drying out flat in the sockets. Cid huffed with indignation, detaching himself from the other man's lips but not moving from his position of pinning him to the table.

"Fuck tha', Leon. Kid's fine with it, innit he? An' I haven't seen Vin since Maleficent fucked wit' our world, so yeh can just take it and stuff it up yer ass." He said darkly. Sora watched the exchange with a bemused sort of interest as Leon huffed.

"I'm sure I will at some point in time. My point is, we might as well eat and introduce Vincent before Sora's brain and innocence are shattered beyond repair." He said wryly. Cid rolled his eyes.

"He's fourteen. When _I_ was fourteen, I kin fuckin' tell yeh, I-" Vincent put a finger to his lips, cutting him off midsentence.

"Chief, I don't think they want you to tell them." He purred, clearly amused as he raised an eyebrow at the pilot. Cid rolled his eyes, but stood and let Vincent detach himself from the table anyway. Sora regarded the man with obvious awe.

His crimson cape billowed around him, even though there was nothing but a ceiling fan on at the moment. The collar hid the bottom half of his face, and thick, silky, ink-colored hair spilled over the side of his headband. The clawed gauntlet Cid had shouted about shone slightly as it caught the light. He turned to subtly grasp Cid's hand, and Sora saw a revolver strapped to his hip. He regarded Sora with amused interest, seeing his wide eyes and amazed expression.

"My name is Vincent Valentine." He said. "You're the Keyblade wielder I've heard so much about, it seems. Welcome." Sora nodded, and managed not to get completely overtaken by shyness.

"How did you get here?" He asked. Vincent might've smiled. With the high collar of his cape up, Sora wasn't sure.

"Chief found me. I was trapped in another world after Maleficent destroyed ours, and while he was out on the Gummi Ship, he happened to find me there, and promptly dragged me back with him." He said wryly. Cid rolled his eyes.

"Don' listen teh him, Sor, he fuckin' clung to me like a lost puppy. 'Cid, I missed yeh so much' this, an' 'Cid, I'm so happy teh see yeh' that. Hones'ly." He grumbled. Vincent shot him a look that could boil blood. Sora shrunk away from both of them until Aerith finally had the good sense to interrupt.

"If the both of you could please refrain from killing each other, just for a little while, Merlin already heated up the leftovers. Sit." She ordered. "Yuffie and Tifa will be back soon." Sora nodded, and sat down with Donald and Goofy. Leon finally remembered something, and turned to Sora.

"Have you seen any of them?" He asked, but Sora knew which one of 'them' he was talking about. He shook his head.

"Nuh-uh. That's what I came here to ask you." He said. Leon sighed. He didn't understand why the little girl had captured his thoughts so completely, but she had, and he needed to know she was safe.

"All right. We'll wait for Yuffie and Tifa-" He paused, burying his face in his hands. "Oh, no. Oh god, no-"

"HIYA, GUYS!" Yuffie's familiar voice resounded through the kitchen, and there was a heavy _thud _against the roof before she burst through it.

"Hey, asshole, there was a door, yeh know." Cid reminded her. Yuffie groaned, and kicked some shingles out of her way.

"Hey, asshole, I'm the great ninja Yuffie. I don't _use _doors." She reminded him. Cid groaned.

"Right, I fergot. Yer goddam crazy." He grumbled. Yuffie made a face at him before turning to Vincent, giving him a cheerful grin.

"Heya, Vinnie! How's Jerky McJerkJerkface over there been since I was gone?" She said cheerfully, completely ignoring Cid's rage as he swore at her. Sora slunk in his seat, slightly worried by the new argument. Vincent rolled his eyes.

"I will not play referee to another of your idiotic arguments. Also, he's been fine, thank you." He said, returning to his dinner. Cloud bit back a snort of amusement as Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"You're just saying that because you made out with him on the table! I know you did! Your cape is all flat in the back, see?" She said, pointing towards the offending cape. Vincent glared at her.

"That's none of your business, Yuffie, and I _had_ to do it when you weren't home, considering you stalk us with a camera." He muttered darkly, clawed gauntlet gripping the poor bowl tighter and cracking it slightly under the pressure. Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, duh. I'm the master of stealth. But this time I asked Aerith to do it." She said cheerfully. "You totally did, right?" She said, turning to glare at her. The Cetra shifted in her seat, obviously uncomfortable.

"Um, well, Vincent and Cid were out working on the engine, and I didn't want to bother them..." She trailed off, twirling a strand of hair around her finger as she realized she'd made a mistake. Yuffie howled.

"Aerith, you idiot! That's the_ point_! To bother them! For blackmail! And because it's _super hot_!" She yelled. Aerith shrunk in her seat, and both Cid and Vincent were now focusing their glares on Yuffie. Yuffie glared back, but before a fight started, Tifa finally walked in.

"All three of you sit down and shut _up_. Sora's here, and if you start a fight while we have an impressionable fourteen year old in the house, I'll tear your throats out." She snapped. Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"Yes, ya big ol' hypocrite." She muttered. Tifa smacked the back of her head, sitting down with a prim sniff of disgust as Yuffie swore, rubbing her head and glaring at her balefully.

"Oh, hello Sora!" Merlin said as he bustled in with the plates, flicking his wand as they settled in front of everyone at the table. "My goodness, today seems to be a day for company! First we found master Valentine last week, and now you! How have you been, m'boy?" He asked, sitting at the table and watching the young boy. Sora smiled, relieved to get off a subject that seemed to constantly involve men making out in odd places within the house.

"I've been great! I came back to touch base and get some information." He said, turning to them all expectantly as Cloud raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? So you haven't heard anything about the Organization. Strange. Normally they'd have caused trouble in at least one of the worlds you've visited lately." He said, drumming his fingers on the table, deep in thought. Sora nodded.

"Yeah, it's really weird. And I need to find them! I just don't know where they are, or what they're doing." He groaned. "I was going to see if I could find a navigation gummi to help me, but..." He sighed, shrugging and showing his empty hands. Cid shrugged.

"I kin check fer yeh, but I dunno if I've got anythin' that's gonna take yeh inter th' world they live in. What was it? Yen Sid said it, somethin' like...World tha' Never Was, yeah. 'Sides, what th' hell are yeh doin that fer, yeh stupid ass? I mean, s'like walkin' inter the goddam lion's den." He asked, stunned by Sora's decision. Sora sighed.

"Because I need to know what's going on. I get the feeling that I've been left out of something. And...I can't be. Not if I'm going to stop the darkness. Not if I'm gonna find Riku and Kairi. That just can't happen." He said firmly. Cid nodded and lit a cigarette, ignoring Tifa's pointed glare.

"Righ'. I'll see what I kin do in th' mornin'." He said, exhaling smoke, watching it twirl lazily above him as he grinned. "Now fuckin' eat." He ordered, jabbing the cigarette in his direction. Sora did so, with great enthusiasm and amusement both.

The conversation was light and cheerful. Even with Cid cursing a blue streak at the table, everyone had managed to continue on, knowing that Sora had been mostly alone for a month. Whenever he came, they did their best to be normal. No one mentioned the Nobodies after the first discussion, and no one said anything about Riku and Kairi. The sadness, for a time, was dispelled.

Finally, at about midnight, Tifa looked at the clock, and gasped quietly. "God! I didn't think it was getting that late! Sora, bed, now." She said. Cloud smirked, before she glared at him. "You too. All of you."

"Fuck you, woman! I'm older than yeh! Can't tell me teh go teh bed!" Cid yelled indignantly. Vincent turned to him, a satisfied grin spreading across his features.

"Oh, but my darling little Highwind, _I _am older than _you. _I require your prescence in my bed tonight." He purred. Cid rolled his eyes, but Sora saw the familiar wicked smile flash across his face for a second.

"I see. Well then, nigh', don't yeh fuckin' dare come in, Yuffie, an' if anyone wakes me up tomorrow before ten, I'm killin' 'em the second they step inteh th' doorway." He said, taking Vincent by the hand and dragging him off. Sora merely raised an eyebrow, before standing up and stretching.

"Your bed's still made, Sora." Aerith said gently. "Get some sleep, okay? You too, Donald and Goofy. We'll need to sort this out in the morning." The three nodded, and Sora headed off to his room.

"Cloud?" Leon said. Aerith and Tifa looked at each other before taking Yuffie and yanking her quickly out of the room. Cloud ignored them, and turned to Leon.

"Mm?" He mumbled, being both content from being well-fed and wonderfully sleepy. Leon managed a small, barely-there grin. Cloud merely observed him.

"We didn't get to finish that beer." He said. "Shall we?" Cloud snorted in derision.

"Nah, beer is for assholes. C'mon, I think there's strawberry vodka in the fridge." He said, standing up and opening the fridge door.

Leon surprised himself by laughing. Cloud just smiled.


	48. Hard Won Sorrows

(This note is just before I'm leaving on vacay, so like, I'm a bit rushed and apologize in advance for any editing problems, but I'll hopefully be back around, uh, Thursday night or Friday afternoon, babes. I love you all lots! Be cool and momentai for me, yo~

Right ssssso Riku/Sora/Kairi as my OT3 shutup it's the bestest. And that's kind of it.

Senayax=depressing.

FtM=going to get worse.

Riiight so yeah. :3 You'll see soon~

Go go Sunny Jim, you get to sleep on the bed now! xD

All right, don't own KH, yanno, momentai.

Dedicated to a sane trip, an oppurtunity to relax, and the like eighty books or a billion I'm reading.)

* * *

Sora shifted slightly in his sleep, feeling something breeze against the edges of his mind. He knew he was dreaming. Of course he was dreaming.

Riku and Kairi both stood there, holding their arms open and smiling at him, joy written across their features.

_Sora...it's you. It's really you. _Kairi spoke first. Sora simply stood, dumbfounded at the sight of them. Riku held him close and kissed his forehead, startling him out of his thoughts.

_Sora, you have to snap out of it. Okay? We're not gonna be here for long, so you have to get your brain in gear, got it? _He reminded him, ruffling his hair. Sora felt Riku holding him close and finally let himself cry.

_Oh god, Riku, Kairi, it's you, it's really you, I, I missed you guys so much, oh please you guys, please-_This time, it was Kairi who cut him off and kissed him, pressing a finger to his lips.

_Ssh, Sora. We know. We miss you too, more than we can say, but you have to listen to me. You need to get to Xemnas-Xehanort-whatever his name is! Ansem gave us this gummi-I don't know if this is gonna work in a dream, but, _she pressed it into his hand, and closed his fingers over it, _I hope so! _Sora nodded and looked up at them both, smiling even as his heart ached with loneliness and sorrow.

_I love you both so much. I promise I'm gonna come find you. Okay? _Sora said, and as he spoke, he knew tears were running down his face, but he didn't care. They both smiled, and his heart leapt with joy and love. Kairi kissed away a few tears before Riku nudged her and teased, _My turn, _as he kissed the rest of them away_. _Sora blushed, but hugged them both tightly.

_I love you, Sora. _Kairi said. He nodded.

_I love you too, Kairi. _He whispered. Riku stroked a strand of his hair and tucked his behind his ear, smiling at him.

_I love you, Sora. _Riku whispered, and Sora smiled.

_I love you too, Riku. I love you both more than anything. _He whispered.

_We'll always be here for you. _Kairi reminded him. Sora nodded.

_I know. _He said.

_You have to be strong. _Riku told him. Sora nodded, and finally let more tears fall.

_I will. _He whispered. Both of them smiled.

_We know, Sora. _They whispered, as the light blossomed around all three of them and they were gone from the dreamscape.

* * *

Senayax was up, even as Sora slept. She sat on the edge of the window seat in the library as the moon shone down on her, and she wrapped her blanket around herself tighter, shivering in response. Sunny Jim was curled up below her, looking up at his mistress. She seemed so distant from him in that moment, and it disturbed him more than his mind could put into words. Sunny Jim chittered nervously, tugging on the edge of her blanket. "Kree?" He asked. She looked down at him.

"Yup, Sunny Jim. I know I should be asleep." She said. Sunny Jim shook his head.

"Kree. Ree, reereekreep." He said, rolling his golden eyes. She studied him for a moment, and then shook her head vehemently. Sunny Jim shrieked, "Kree! Kree kree kreeeeee!" Senayax slammed her feet against the sill.

"Sunny Jim, stop it! They wouldn't do something like that! They woulda told me!" She snapped. Sunny Jim wilted.

"Ree...reep. Kree. Kree." He mumbled. She sighed, knowing she'd been beaten by undeniable cuteness. She held her arms open, and he jumped into them without complaint. She hugged him close and stroked the top of his head.

"Don't worry, Sunny Jim. I know you were right before. I'm sorry I yelled at you. But...I don't think Zexion knows either. Xemnas mighta, but Zexion would never. So maybe you can go talk to him. You gonna?" She asked. Sunny Jim nodded.

"Kree." He said, giving her a gentle affirmation while his insides seethed with rage. He hugged her one more time before disappearing into a blot of darkness and sliding straight towards Zexion's room.

Senayax turned back to the moon and put her cheek against the cool windowpane. Tomorrow, she was going to go talk to Vexen about what Hollowmoon had said. She knew she had to. But right now, she just wanted to watch the night above her.

* * *

Sunny Jim glared at his quarry, and decided even if his mistress yelled at him for it later, what he was about to do was _completely_ worth it.

"KREE!" Sunny Jim roared, biting down _hard _on Zexion's leg, enjoying the feeling of his fangs tearing past the fabric and gnawing at the skin. Zexion sat up in bed and swore heavily, trying to tear him off his leg.

"I believe we reached an agreement, you rotten little swine!" He snarled, trying to shake the Heartless off of him. Sunny Jim snarled.

"Kree, kree, KREE! Kree!" He pointed to Senayax's pillow, and Zexion, who had been taught how to translate some of his language from Senayax herself, understood enough to immediately worry.

"What happened? Did Xemnas take her? Sunny Jim, what's going on?" He asked. Sunny Jim shook his head and tapped his forehead, tugging on his hair insistently. Zexion wrinkled his nose as Sunny Jim nodded, trying to explain once more.

"Kree. Kree, reep, reep, reep-reep, kree." He said. Zexion observed him, thought for a second, and then summoned his lexicon.

"Sorry about this, but I have a referendum on Pureblood language in here. So go slower this time and let me translate, understand?" He ordered. Sunny Jim rolled his eyes, and Zexion would've sworn he was given a look of utter contempt.

"Kree...kree...reep...reep...reep-reep...kree." He said slowly, and now Zexion _knew _the rotten little beast was being sarcastic.

"Leave me alone; it's not exactly like I converse with my lover's pet Shadow on a daily basis, especially when it concerns my Superior and his plans." He muttered darkly, firing back with his own death glare. He paused in his search and skimmed the page. "According to the lexicon..." He translated the words, and after a minute of comprehension, his eyes widened in terror.

"Sunny Jim, this isn't funny." He said quietly. Sunny Jim shook his head. Zexion pointed to his lexicon. "Xemnas is going to kill Yaya! Is _that _what you wanted to tell me? How do you know?" He snapped. Sunny Jim sighed.

"Kree, kree ree freep kreep. Kreek." He said. Zexion skimmed the lexicon again.

"I was right the last time...he doesn't know what happened...but it failed...last time...Teacher!" He said, wrinkling his nose in confusion. "Sunny Jim, I know you were right about Xemnas-actually, I'm concerned as to how you learn these things-but teacher? Teacher would never do such a thing!" He snapped. Sunny Jim huffed.

"Kreep freep kree-ree-freep. Ree-kree-freep ree. Kree." He said. Zexion translated quickly, urgency making him work faster as he mouthed the words to himself.

"Hide in shadows...Pureblood...no one notices when I listen." He said. "Makes sense. I think you and I have that in common, Shadow." He remarked dryly. Sunny Jim might've smiled, and he definitely nodded, chittering in satisfaction. Zexion continued. "Didn't know...it was an experiment...never did it again." He chewed his lip in thought.

"I know I was the youngest...this must've happened before I got here; from the sound of it, maybe even Xeh, as well. The others are going to have information." He narrowed his eyes. "And if it's life or death-_Yaya's _life or death-I'm willing to do anything to get it." He said. Sunny Jim nodded, and after a pause, spoke again.

"Kree. Kree, reep kree." He said. This time, Zexion managed a small smile as he translated.

"Good boy...care for her...understand." He nodded, and shut his book. "Yes. So do you." He said. Sunny Jim might've smiled before settling in on the bed with a small chitter of delighted triumph. Zexion glared at him. "I didn't mention that you could sleep on the bed." Sunny Jim snorted, and muttered, "Kree."

Zexion didn't need a translation to understand the universal language of _"bite me."_

He groaned, rolled over, and laid down to sleep again, resigned to his fate.

* * *

After a few hours, when the amethyst-shaded darkness turned to lilac, Senayax heard the sounds of everyone slowly starting to stir. She slid down from the sill, and opened the door to the library. She walked down the hallway, keeping as silent as possible, so as not to wake anyone up too early. She walked down the steps to the main hall, and crept towards the lab's door.

The stone spiral staircase was chilled from the cool air. She shivered, and suddenly felt grateful for her socks. She descended the steps and found Vexen, asleep on a pile of notes. She sighed and rolled her eyes, tugging on a strand of his hair. "Vexen, Marluxia's not gonna be very happy t'see you down here like this." She scolded. The scientist stirred in his sleep before his vision focused and he saw her. He awoke fully with a start, and clutched the notes to his chest.

"Senayax." He whispered. She nodded.

"Mornin', Vexen!" She said cheerfully. As she looked up at him, she frowned, crossing her arms and shaking her head. "I did mean it, yanno. Marluxia's not gonna be real happy." She said, making a soft _tsk_ing noise as she giggled. He merely stared at her. She wrinkled her nose in confusion. "Vexen?" She asked.

"You...you came back down here." He whispered, utterly shocked. "After all that has happened..." She nodded, and looked up at him. He saw exactly what Xigbar had when she'd looked at him like that; a pair of eyes haunted by sorrows and ancient as time.

"No more hiding, Vexen. The gears have been set in motion. I can...feel it." The time-hardened look left her eyes, but the sorrow remained. "I don't blame you for what you did. I don't blame anyone. I just... I just want to get through this." She whispered. Vexen nodded, and reached out to stroke her hair gently, tucking a few strands behind her ear.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm sorry just the same."

She nodded and accepted it with a dry smile. With a small sigh, she started to speak. "Hollowmoon started talkin' to me last night. He said, in so many words, that if he got ahold of my body, he'd eat th' thing inside me." Vexen noted with sadness that she practically refused to refer to it. Guilt and self-hatred shot through him again, and he could only think back to the experiment before, and remember with dark amusement that at least that time her agonies had been impersonal.

"I assumed as much. That's fine-I'm mostly sure Xemnas has thrown all of our energy into this, so there won't be any missions." He said, and she managed a dry grin. He sighed. "At any rate, because of the odd circumstances in which a heart is lacking, I'm unaware if the gestation will change at all...but we should be prepared for it to, in any case."

He sighed, and kissed her forehead. "I can't do this." He whispered. "I can't...this is...clinical. This is...it isn't...you, this isn't for you." He shuddered. "This is like a damned experiment...Yaya, I'm _sorry. _Please, I'm sorry..." He held her close. "You made me care." He murmured. "I'm a scientist. I'm not supposed to care." She managed a small laugh.

"It'll be okay, Vexen. This will end soon." Her eyes went blank, and then, after a painful instant, refocused. "One way or another." She said quietly, and her voice in that moment was not her own.

Vexen merely shuddered.


	49. Captain

(You know, editing Valenwind fluff/angst is a lot funnier when you're listening to "I Feel Pretty." Oh Maria~

And yeah so ANGST and Vincent, while being a Turk, and therefore someone who could kill you by blinking at you funny, is still Vincent, and therefore someone who is really fun to make all emo and I kind of blame my obsession with needing to give a hug to people like him, except you know, that damn fourth wall prevents me, so I have to make Cid do it.

Hey, at least HE'S in character. (And Vincent seriously was like almost as bad as Cloud in the original FFVII; Cloud burst into tears at the drop of a fucking hat, yo. Maybe it was the crap translation, (THIS GUY ARE SICK), but whoa was he ever weepy. It made him cute though so...success?)

Nanaki doesn't get enough love. I mean, the animators for the newer games were like, "Ehhh but his fur is hard to animaaate," and then they (hand to god) INDIVIDUALLY ANIMATE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF SEPHIROTH'S STRANDS OF HAIR.

Oh I wish I was kidding.

No, you don't get to do that; you don't get to bitch and moan about animating a character that had an integral and interesting part in the original story on the basis that his fur is too complicated, and then turn around and animate someone's hair with the care and precision of Michelangelo sculpting David. Just because Sephiroth is pretty.../grumble/

Well anyways, Nanaki will show up somewhere post FtM dammit, because he's so sweet and cute. Plus I really do like him sort of being like Yuffie's Pan to her Lyra. (From the Golden Compass; the His Dark Materials books are pretty good, but Lyra stops being a main character after like the mid-second book so fuck that :()

Uhhhh did I just ramble whoops.

Anyways, yeah, they all regard Cid as a father figure (Best father EVER) b/c once again, in the original FFVII, after Cloud leaves the party, they all answer to him and call him "chief." I think it's sweet, especially in Tifa's case, since her dad died before the main storyline happens, so...

Sorry for any of my fans that have played FFVII; I know some of you haven't, so I'm trying to explain everything in author's notes, pff. And that's mostly it; thank you for listening to my rambling. :3

Don't own, don't care.

Dedicated towards Love, (hi your new nickname :3), who read through all FORTY-EIGHT CHAPTERS AT ONCE to get to this point. Thank you so much~! ^^)

* * *

Sora woke with a start, looking around in panic at the unfamiliar surrounding before realizing he was in Leon's house. He shuddered, and clutched his pillow close to him. Then he remembered his dream from last night, and managed a small smile. He shifted in bed, and realized a glowing black gummi was in bed next to him. He picked it up, and gasped softly as he turned it around in his fingers.

"So it was real." He whispered. "Oh, Kairi...Riku..." He clasped the gummi tightly in his hand before getting dressed and rushing down the hallway. Yuffie was sitting on top of the table, and staring up at the clock.

"Is it ten yet, Tifa?" She whined. Tifa sighed.

"Yuffie, you asked me five minutes ago. It's only been five minutes from where it was at nine forty-five. Now hurry up, and eat breakfast. Cid might not shoot you, but Vincent would." She muttered. Yuffie groaned, but the threat of Vincent's Cerebus or Death Penalty pointed at her face made her settle for muttering darkly to herself while she ate. Sora finally interrupted, raising his hand and trying to get both of their attentions focused on him.

"Um, you guys? This is going to sound insane, but...Kairi gave me this." Sora said, holding out the glowing gummi. Tifa turned to him and raised an eyebrow, confused and curious. She spied the gummi and both of her eyebrows shot up almost to her hairline.

"I've heard crazier stories, Sora. But...I think this one requires some explanation." She said. Yuffie grinned.

"Ooh! I guess we better go wake up Cid and Vincent then!" She said cheerfully, darting off. Tifa rolled her eyes.

"Fine! It's your own damn funeral!" She yelled after her, but Yuffie had already disappeared. She sighed. "All right, Sora, I might as well go wake everyone else up. Can you wait here for a bit?" She asked. He nodded, and Tifa disappeared, presumably also preparing to put a stop to casualties. Sora sighed, and took a bowl that Tifa had already filled with cereal. He simply closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of the house, waiting for everyone to meet in the kitchen.

Cid had woken up first. He normally did-Vincent was usually up later than him, just naturally nocturnal. Vincent had rarely ever slept after they'd found him, and it had gotten to the point where Cid had finally snapped, and flat-out ordered him to sleep. Vincent had simply looked up at him, and said, "I can't."

Before he knew it, he was slipping into memories again.

* * *

_Normally, Cid didn't get up and walk around the Highwind at all odd hours of the night. He slept like a rock, refusing to wake up unless absolutely necessary. However, his heart seemed to be telling him it was one of those necessary times. He sighed, feeling the cool steel of the ship under his feet as he padded through the bay and up the stairs. It all seemed quiet within the ship; Nanaki lay outside Yuffie's door, her ever-present guard-beast, Barret asleep with a photo of Marlene clenched in his fist, and the small, quiet rasps of breath that accompanied the sounds of the others sleeping. _

_Suddenly, above all the normal sounds of the night, Cid realized he heard something else. Something he shouldn't hear at night. _

_The sound of tears. _

_The pilot didn't bolt for the sound, knowing it would only make him heard. He crept towards the source, quiet as he could be. He knew his ship well enough to navigate in the dark, so he managed to be even more unnoticeable, pure shadow as he realized that the sound was coming from, of all places, Vincent's room. _

_With a soft click, he twisted the doorknob and stormed in. He was fully prepared to start swearing up a storm until he caught sight of Vincent. The ex-Turk was curled into a tiny ball on the bed, cloak obscuring his entire body as he shivered in agony. The sight was so pitiful and altogether miserable that Cid might've cried if he hadn't felt a small spark of...protective rage? Was that it? Cid didn't care. All he knew was that Vincent was crying and it _pissed him off.

_"Th' fuck are yeh still up fer, ass?" Vincent jumped, hearing the captain's voice in the darkness. He turned to face a viciously pissed-off captain Cid Highwind, cigarette jammed precariously into his mouth, embers drifting from the tip as it wavered in his lips slightly. Vincent merely stared back, unafraid of his swagger. _

_"Nightmare." He said, turning to face the window. Cid snorted with disgust. _

_"Every nigh', huh? An' this after what, thirty damn years inna coffin? Don' yeh get over nightmares eventually?" He snapped. Vincent shuddered, shaking his head. Even as he watched him, the agony visibly tearing into his body actually gave Cid pause. "Vin?" _

_He was in his own little world now, reliving memories and people long dead. His eyes were blank, the normally vibrant crimson irises clouding over until they were the color of congealed blood. Cid fought down a shudder; he didn't want Vincent to think he was scared of him. So as Vincent sat and relived his nightmares, Cid paid heed to his story._

_"She never stopped screaming, Cid." He whispered. "Heard her. Couldn't...couldn't make her stop. Couldn't get up. The demons, they...the demons, and...she was screaming, she was _screaming,_ and it wormed my way into my dreams, Cid, and..." He inhaled shakily, gasping for breath and moaning. "Oh god, Cid, I don't want to sleep. The screaming is so close, and nothing makes it go away. It's too loud in the silence. Cid, please don't make me sleep." He was begging now, tears spilling out onto his hands as he tried furiously to wipe them away, his dignity still even just slightly intact as he tried to hide. _

_Cid had never seen Vincent beg, never seen him cry like this. It was far too late to try, but he dearly wished to strangle Hojo right now and grind his stupid fuckin' face into th' goddam dirt until he goddam choked. Vincent had seemed to forget he was there and was curled within his cloak, sobbing and moaning in agony. "Cid, _please," _he said, and Cid realized with a start he knew that he was still there, "I don't want to sleep. Please don't make me sleep." _

_Cid finally snapped._

_"KNOCK IT TH' FUCK OFF, VINNIE!" He roared. The ex-Turk started in shock, and stared up at Cid with wide eyes. Cid snarled in annoyance as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Gawd. I'm not makin' yeh do anythin'. I'm _tellin' _yeh you're goin' t'sleep. An' yer not ginna sleep alone. Seems teh me that's yer main fuckin' problem." He grumbled, putting his cigarette out and climbing into Vincent's bed. Vincent merely watched him, eyes getting wider every time Cid inched closer. _

_Finally, with an annoyed huff, Cid settled down on the bed with a sigh, adjusting the pillow for both of them to fit. He put out his cigarette and rolled over, tugging Vincent down to lay beside him. Vincent was quiet for a long time._

_Without warning, he curled close against Cid's chest and laid his head upon it to listen to his heartbeat. Cid stiffened with shock for a moment, and then relaxed, satisfied Vincent had listened. He leaned against the pillow and tugged the blanket up as Vincent gave a small sigh of relief and cuddled closer. "Your heartbeat..." He whispered. "It...it stops the screaming." Cid grinned, satisfied._

_"Vin? Yeh okay now?" He asked. _

_There was no reply. Vincent Valentine, for the first time since his awakening within Shinra Mansion...was asleep._

_

* * *

_

Cid looked down at his lover and managed a dry smile. It had taken Vincent time to open up, and Cid, time to seduce him, but in the end, it had worked out. Vincent had finally let him in and claimed him for a mate. Cid traced the small scar on his neck. Vincent had given it to him after the first time they'd made love. Told him it was a 'claim mark,' or something like that, and that it stated he'd chosen Cid as a mate. It was a weird demon thing, Cid had surmised. All the same, he liked it there.

Finally, his lover stirred. "Is it ten yet?" He murmured. Cid laughed.

"Nah. Git'up though, Vin, I think I kin hear Yuffie already-"

"WAKE UP, YOU GUYS!" Yuffie yelled, kicking down the doorway. Vincent started, clutching Cid close as the pilot swore.

"Get th' hell out, Yuffie! Can't yeh see we're indecent!" Cid snapped. Yuffie's face lit up.

"Ooh, really! Haha yes, I have a camera!" She yelped with glee, before Tifa dragged her away as she called back to the two, "Sora's up, and we need you!"

Cid stared. Vincent managed a dry laugh. "Seems like it's morning as always, chief." He muttered, sitting up and pushing his hair out of his eyes with a sigh. "Gaia, now I remember what I _didn't _miss."

No one else was as much of a late riser as Captain Highwind and his lover, so Tifa had little trouble getting everyone else up. Then she reached Cloud's room, and opened the door. "Cloud?" She called. The bed was empty, but as neatly made as it had been the morning before. She blinked, surprised. Normally, his blankets were in utter disarray come morning, and she hadn't seen him downstairs...

She left the room, and practically collided with Aerith in the hallway. "Aer, have you see Cloud?" Tifa asked. She shook her head.

"No...I was going to come check up on him in here. Is something wrong?" She asked. Tifa shrugged.

"I don't know. Come on, maybe he just went downstairs." She said. The two headed down the steps, and into the kitchen. Through the window positioned above the porch, Tifa saw a familiar Buster sword and an even _more _familiar mop of spiky blonde hair. She raised an eyebrow and headed for the front door, Aerith following behind.

Squall Leonhart and Cloud Strife were both sprawled out in the chairs on the porch, about six bottles of vodka-_each-_telling Tifa all she needed to know. She sighed. "At least they kept their clothes on."

Sora was almost ready to go insane from impatience by the time everyone showed up. Cloud had almost walked straight into the refridgerator while fumbling for the coffee machine, and Aerith had kindly guided him to a chair while the coffeepot hissed to life. "I found a navigation gummi given to me by one of my friends in a dreamscape that might not have ever existed, yet this gummi may take me straight to the source of whatever is messing with the darkness...and you people take about twenty minutes to actually _get here." _He muttered, in a flash of annoyance so unlike him.

"Yeah, well," Cloud muttered, head in his hands, "we're the only family you've got, kid, so you're gonna have to live with it." Sora paused.

"Family?" He said quietly. Everyone else turned to Cloud, shocked. He sat up slightly, wincing at the bright sun streaming through the window.

"Yeah. You heard me. Family." He said, before snatching the cup of coffee straight out of Aerith's hands and drinking it straight-up black. Normally, Cloud wouldn't touch coffee that didn't have at least ten sugars in it, but he was obviously hungover. Sora was still staring at him, eyes shining with tears.

"Family." He said softly. "Ahuh."

Everyone watched him discreetly as he tried his best to compose himself. Something odd flashed in Cid's eyes before Sora handed the gummi to him, who examined it, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "This little shit's gonna be tough teh put in, ya know that? Yer friends are a pain in my ass. Sora, I'm not gonna lie-this is gonna take a while. Somethin's...up wit' it. Think we might have to adjust th' whole damn ship." He muttered. Sora nodded.

"That's okay. It'll work out!" He said cheerfully. Finally, with the matter settled, breakfast started. Tifa, however, kept an eye on Cid.

She managed to get him just after Sora left to train with Leon, Yuffie, Vincent, and Cloud. "Cid, what are you doing?" She hissed. "You could have that thing in there within five minutes!" Cid turned to her, and Tifa paused. An odd look had settled in his eyes, and he simply watched her for a minute.

He lit a cigarette and inhaled the smoke, exhaling it after a long minute, watching the smoke spiral up towards the ceiling before sighing. "Tifa, that kid's face damn near coulda lit up a whole fuckin' city when Cloud called us his family." He stated, flicking away glowing embers. "He needs a fuckin' break." Tifa shook her head.

"Cid, the whole world could be in trouble! Hell, _all_ the worlds could be in trouble! Now is not the time for a break!" She snapped. Cid snorted.

"No better damn time, if yeh ask me." He grumbled, lighting another cigarette. "Tifa, that fuckin' kid has lost everythin' he fuckin' lived for. His friends, his home, and god only knows what else. We're his family now. We're his home. We've got a goddam responsibility on our hands, an' he's it. An' I'm not complainin'. Th' world can fuckin' wait." She merely watched him.

Captain Cid Highwind, who had seen good men fall under the claws of ShinRa. Captain Cid Highwind, who had lost all he had lived for, years before Sora was even a thought in the Lifestream. Captain Cid Highwind, who had taken a bunch of loners and misfits and made them his responsibility. Captain Cid Highwind, who had not only helped them save the entire world, but helped them save themselves.

After a small pause, she sighed in defeat.

"Fine. If we get any word that he's needed, though, you get up and you goddamn make that ship go..._chief_." She ordered. He nodded, giving her a small smile as he put out his cigarette and kissed her cheek.

"I will. M'not stupid, thanks." He muttered. She managed a small smile in return.

So the plan was put into place. Sora would get a break-some downtime before he went into the nest of vipers. They all knew it couldn't last forever. But while it did, they were going to enjoy it. As a family.


	50. Mother

(Oh look things are going to get worse. Scandalous.

And so that's it. This is the beginning of the end, in a way...so I can only say for you to buckle up and hold on for the ride.

Sorry about late updates; mom hijacked the computer. I do sincerely apologize. D:

Don't own.

Dedicated to Kirai in the hopes that she feels better soon. D:)

* * *

Zexion felt Senayax crawl into their bed, cuddling close and pulling the blankets up. "Went to see Vexen." She mumbled. "Y'gonna get up?" Zexion sighed and nodded, kissing her forehead as he sat up.

"Yes, I'm afraid I have to. There's a discussion I need to have with a few people, and then I think it'll be too late to get back in bed." He remarked dryly. She nodded wearily, snuggling into the pillows.

"Mmkay..." She mumbled. "Come get me, 'kay? We'll sit an' this time I'll read to you." She offered. He smiled and brushed her hair off of her face, kissing her and stroking her cheek.

"Okay. I'd like that." He whispered to her, disappearing into the darkness with a gentle smile. She knew something was up, but she was exhausted, and couldn't bring her self to go sleuthing. However, Sunny Jim, who had watched the whole scene, could and did.

* * *

Larxene woke up, realizing she was still in bed with Lexaeus. She yawned, stretched, and ran a gentle hand through his hair. "Mornin', sunshine." She said cheerfully. Out of the two of them, she was the morning person. She used this to her own advantage, naturally, pouring on the saccharine glee full-force as her hero grumbled and complained. He turned to her and glared daggers up at her through half-lidded eyes.

"Larxene, I can and will pick you up and stick you in the shower first." He threatened. She snorted.

"Nah, you wouldn't. You know I'd just shock you. C'mon, get up, Lexy! The sun is shining, and the birds are singing, and there's a light at the bedroom window!" She chirped. He merely continued to glare at her, before turning and pushing his face into the pillow. She huffed, and sat on his back. She massaged his shoulders and leaned in to purr in his ear. "Lexaeus, get up, or I'll cry."

It did the trick. He turned over, sat up, and put her gently in his lap. She grinned and kissed his cheek, nuzzling into his chest. "See?" She purred. "Look how much more fun it is to listen to me."

"It's usually just much more deadly." He grumbled, but there was a small smile on his face, and she grinned back as she kissed him once more. Lexaeus had to admit, the morning wasn't too bad for him anymore as long as she was the one waking him up.

The moment was promptly spoiled by a knock on the door. "Lexaeus? It's Zexion." The voice that called from beyond the door was so sad and pained that he immediately got out of bed and rushed towards the door, opening it and looking down at him. Zexion brushed some hair out of his eyes and huffed, looking up at him with piercing lilac eyes.

"I need to discuss something with you and the others. Please tell them it's important." He said, and Lexaeus nodded, a sinking feeling burrowing its' way into his stomach.

"I understand, Zexion. Meet us in the library in about ten minutes. I'll send the word to them." He said, and Zexion managed a small smile at him, leaving Lexaeus with a small bit of relief to cling to as he shut the door and turned to Larxene.

"I bet he knows." She said. Lexaeus sighed as he hugged her close.

"I bet he does, too." He said softly.

* * *

Lexaeus went to Xigbar first; not only was he the second-ranking Apprentice, he would be the most sympathetic to what Zexion wanted to hear. Lexaeus was in luck-Xigbar and Xaldin were both in the library, just having a small chat between themselves. Lexaeus sighed, but knew he had to interrupt.

"Gentlemen, I fear we'll be paying for our crimes soon." He said quietly. Xaldin looked up first, and raised an eyebrow. Xigbar didn't react, simply flipped a page in the book in front of him.

"It's about her, isn't it." He said, turning another page. Neither his attitude or his mood had changed, but Lexaeus shuddered all the same. Xaldin might've said something before Xigbar sighed, cutting off anything he'd intended to say. "He wants answers." Lexaeus finally found his voice.

"Yes. He does." He said. "We should've given them to him a long time ago." Xigbar snorted derisively.

"As if!" He muttered. "Wouldn't have helped him any. Goddamn, what's being bugging him lately?" He said. "We had nothing to do with this! It was all Xeh's decision!" Lexaeus shook his head.

"No, Xigbar." He whispered. "Not about the pregnancy...well...not _this_ one." He said. The other two men in the library froze at his words.

"Mother? That...that experiment was years ago. Since...since before even Xehanort showed up..." Xigbar asked, hushed tones hiding slight trepidation. Lexaeus nodded.

"I believe Mother has come back to haunt us." He murmured.

All three of them went to find Vexen.

Marluxia looked up from his usual spot-perched on the lab table, watching Vexen work. He tilted his head up, and listened. He heard two pairs of feet walking down the steps, and an occasional swish of a coat-Xigbar. So it was probably a few of the original Apprentices. He nudged Vexen gently. "Honeybun? I think someone's here for you." He said. Vexen wrinkled his nose in annoyance.

"Marluxia, I've told you a hundred times not to call me that-oh! Lexaeus, Xaldin...Xigbar, get down from the ceiling. If you fall and break anything, there's going to be hell to pay." He muttered darkly. Marluxia managed a small laugh as Xigbar jumped down, grumbling in protest. Lexaeus wasted no time telling Vexen what had transpired.

"Someone told Zexion about Mother." He said.

Vexen dropped his notes.

As he trembled with shock, Marluxia, confused and slightly wary of the new situation, picked them up, trying his best to stay out of the conversation. He needed to listen, not interrupt.

"...Have...have any of us mentioned it? Xemnas, perhaps? Out of guilt?" Vexen said thoughtfully, his composure quickly returning. Lexaeus sighed, clearly worried.

"I told Larxene. It was after Senayax went 'missing', and Zexion came looking for her. I think...I think it was then that I knew what Xemnas was planning. I told her about it. I needed someone to understand and listen...I didn't think anyone else was listening. It must have been Sunny Jim, looking out for his mistress." He murmured. Xaldin gripped his shoulder and shook his head.

"No, Lex. It wasn't your fault. If it had been any of us, we would've sought comfort as well." He said, but his attempt to soothe the beleaguered hero was of little worth. He sighed, shaking his head as he closed his eyes in thought.

"I suppose we should find Xemnas. Zexion's going to want him for answers as well." He said, opening his eyes to watch the others shudder with slight trepidation.

"Shit, he really opened up one hell of a Pandora's box this time around." Xigbar muttered darkly. Lexaeus laughed, but little humor resounded through the room.

"We opened that up years ago." He remarked bitterly, turning to leave the lab.

They were all quiet for a moment, trying not to think of what Lexaeus' words meant.

"We should all go to him. Zexion knows to meet us in the library." Xigbar remarked. Xaldin sighed.

"This hit him harder than it did us, did it not?" He remarked. Vexen nodded.

"Indeed...he was the one in charge of tending to Mother, after all." He reminded them. Xaldin and Xigbar both disappeared, otensibly to comfort Lexaeus, but Vexen remained. "I know you're still there, Marluxia." He said, not even turning to face him. Marluxia winced, standing up from his crouched position on the floor.

"I wasn't hiding." He muttered. Vexen managed a small smirk.

"Yes you were, _sugarpie." _He purred. Marluxia glared at him, but he realized now wasn't the time for a pet-name fight. He sighed.

"Vexen? I figure you have to go...but is there any way you could explain to me about Mother?" He asked. Vexen sighed, shuddering as he turned to the small bookshelf in the lab, pulling out a journal and pressing it into his hands. Marluxia pulled him close for a moment, kissing the top of his head and stroking his hair. "It's okay, Vexen. It'll be all right." He murmured gently. Vexen shook his head.

"I...I...I know. I'll be back as soon as I can. Wait for me?" He pleaded. Marluxia nodded, and kissed him once more, giving him a small peony to take with him. He smiled at his lover, and murmured, "Always."

The two of them both disappeared within an instant.

* * *

Marluxia immediately sent a summons for all of the neophytes. Axel showed up first, dragging Saix in with Roxas right behind them both. Larxene entered his room, and rushed right into his arms.

Marluxia held her close as everyone appeared, finding seats in between the man-eating plants that vomited rose petals and the other aberrations against botany and mercy. He tapped the journal, and said, "Vexen gave this to me. He and the others-the original Apprentices, I mean-were discussing some experiment. Something named 'Mother.' They're talking about it, but this is from him to examine, so we can know what's going on too." He opened the book and sat on his bed, beginning to read aloud.

* * *

If Vexen had possessed his heart still, he was certain it would have broken upon seeing Senayax playing in the library, Sunny Jim at her side. She'd gotten bored with sleeping, and had come to play inside the massive room, playing hide-and-seek with the Shadow in between the vast rows of shelves.

Zexion merely watched her. He didn't join in, or even speak. He simply watched her move about the room, darting in between the shelves, giggling to herself as she tried to hide from her Shadow. His expression was hard to read; something in between both adoration and dread. Zexion turned to face them, and managed a faint, instantaneous smile. "Vexen. Lexaeus. Xaldin. Xigbar. Xemnas."

Senayax saw them and squealed with glee, rushing from the bookshelves and promptly launching herself into Xaldin's arms. He managed to catch her, despite his surprise, and set her down gently. She smiled at all of them, twisting the guilt-knife in further.

"Hiya! Did you come t'play with us?" She asked, jumping down and bouncing on the balls of her feet. "I was gonna read t'Zexion, but you could stay, if you wanna..." She offered. Xemnas smiled, but the sadness weighed it down, and it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I'm afraid we can't. We have something to discuss." He murmured. Zexion met his eyes and nodded in acknowledgement.

"Yaya? Sweetheart, I have to talk to everyone for a bit. Pick a book, and I promise we'll read after lunch, okay?" He offered. She nodded cheerfully, and picked up a big, colorfully bound book on the table before darting out. Zexion noted that Sunny Jim had stayed behind, and he nodded towards the Shadow in acknowledgment.

Lexaeus sighed, and sat down. "Perhaps I can testify about this the best. Listen well, Zexion; I don't know if I can ever repeat this story again."


	51. Chopping Block

(This chapter is insanely short.

There's a very big, very depressing reason for that.

The next one should be longer, but might not be updated tomorrow; I had an epiphany of what I want to add on while I was at the beach, so I'll be able to add more on to the next chapter.

Once again, I profusely apologize for the really short chapter, but considering the fact that this is a chapter that slams you in the face with a new plot development, I wanted the impact to be short, fast, and dirty.

Don't own Kingdom Hearts, but if I did, I probably wouldn't have let it play out like this.

Dedicated to everyone, in-universe and out, who desperately needs a hug.)

* * *

_Month One: I have acquired two Pureblood Heartless-both Neoshadow. We're unsure of the gender, but we believe they can reproduce regardless of sexual characteristics. More information will be gathered once one of their bodies begins to show signs of gestation._

"We had two Neoshadows. You know what they look like, Zexion-almost humanoid in appearance. That's why Ansem picked them. They were the ones he noted that behaved the most like humans." Lexaeus said. Zexion nodded, knowing the fact for himself already. Lexaeus inhaled, trying to steady himself enough to continue.

_Month Three: Two months have already passed. One of them, evidently the female, is starting to exhibit nervous "broody" behavior. This can only mean something has succeeded. We've christened the female "Mother." Simple, but effective. Aeleus, bless him, has started to tend to both her and the male. _

"I...I was put in charge of Mother. She was beautiful, in her own way...even though Heartless are gruesome creatures, she seemed to possess...something more. Perhaps it was the child stirring within her that made her so beautiful. I don't know, and I won't ever seek that knowledge." Lexaeus said shortly. Xigbar winced, and Xaldin nodded.

Zexion hadn't moved the entire time that Lexaeus narrated the next part of his tale. The only sign he was still responding to the story was his knuckles tightening on his lexicon to the point where they turned white as freshly-broken bone.

_Month Four: Mother is starting to swell around her abdomen. It would be nigh-on impossible to sedate a Heartless for an ultrasound, so we are simply tracking her progress and estimating conception time. Aeleus is becoming attached to her; preparing her better quarters within the lab, checking on her often, and so on. I pray that she survives this experiment, just for the sake of my children. Even I, who pursued the experiment, have my misgivings about this...but it doesn't matter. This is purely for research purposes. If it fails, it fails. But...I'm afraid at this point, my boys won't see it that way. _

"This might sound strange, but we had all come to geniunely care about them. We knew they were Heartless, but there was something about Mother and the child she carried inside her that made them both seem real. Even so, teacher was beginning to doubt the experiment. I honestly believe that if it hadn't been for us, he'd have asked the king to take care of them both. Because...they were weakening." Lexaeus murmured.

_Month Six: Mother is...rotting. There's no other word for it. The darkness within her is almost loose, for want of a better description. It's as if it can no longer hold the shape of a Neoshadow. Aeleus spends most of his time down there now. He doesn't know I hear him, but there are times when I listen carefully, and I can hear his pleas to her, imploring her to live._

"...I..." Lexaeus paused and shuddered, tears prickling his eyes. "I loved her. I did. Because she was suffering. I knew it, and I could not stop it. So I gave her all of my time and devotion, because she suffered for _our_ experiment. It seemed so horribly unfair that we'd condemned her to death. I did the best I could to at least make her pain bearable." He laughed bitterly, a small, quiet bark of laughter that struck the rest of them to their cores.

"Perhaps...she cared about me. I'd like to think that she did. That perhaps my presence meant something to her. But...I'll never know. Does it matter if she cared? What matters more; the fact that I aided her, or if she cared that I did?" He murmured. Zexion simply shrugged. He sighed, and continued on.

_Month Eight: Mother is almost dead by this point. Her mate is long gone; he fled when she first began to howl her agonies. Aeleus barely leaves the lab nowadays. He spends all his time in there studying my research, desperately searching for a cure. But she's fading, and fading fast. I wish I could end the suffering for both her and her child, but at this point, I don't know if even that small kindness would matter._

"Her stomach...was so distended, especially as her end drew closer. That's what I remember most from those days. It dragged on the floor when she moved, although that was an increasingly rare occurrence. More often, she would lay on the floor and scream. It was...terrifying. It was so human, so completely human, but there was something..._off _about it. Something stating that this creature, whatever it is, should not be screaming." He paused again. Everyone in the room was trembling, but both Xemnas and Zexion had gone horribly pale.

"She died soon after her screams stopped. I watched her go. It was as if she'd melted. Layers of her body slid off, one by one, until the only thing left was this tiny object. It was black, that kind of black you think you could lose your mind in, and when I went to touch it, it screamed." He stated, barely holding back a hysterical scream, even as he recalled it ten years later. "Needless to say, I ran straight to teacher, my heart completely broken and my psyche left traumatized. I don't know what he did with that...thing. I don't want to know." He said flatly.

Zexion simply nodded.

He turned to Xemnas and spoke.

"She's going to die." He said softly. "And you'll be the one that killed her."


	52. Hope

(Okay, here's something I think we might have missed; Xemnas didn't know about Mother. It was before he'd showed up to be with the Apprentices, which is why he ordered Zexion to do what he did; he thought it would really work. He loves Yaya, (okay, well, "loves," but you get my point), and didn't do this to make her needlessly suffer.

And because it hasn't come up, (which honestly shocks me), why didn't Xemnas use Larxene? Very, very simple; Lexaeus had already seen the results, and would've most likely refused, so it would've just come down to Senayax anyways. God that's depressing. You're welcome.

And so...yeah. Just...yeah. There is so totally nothing to make this chapter not depressing. I recommend sitting with a bar of chocolate, (and schnapps or vodka if you're old enough,) just to get the misery out of your thoughts.

And _I'm _crying. _I am crying at the things __**I **__wrote. _Christ, I'm sorry guys. She gets a happy ending I swear to god! I don't care if I'm spoiling, that has turned into my misery mantra! SHE GETS A HAPPY ENDING! D:

Don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Dedicated to everything that influenced my writing. Including the freaking depressing/horrifying stuff. Special mention goes to Pan's Labyrinth, F.E.A.R., Elfen Lied, and the countless horror movies my childhood self loved and ate up like gory, murderiffic candy.)

* * *

Marluxia put the diary down, hands trembling as he finished the final sentence.

He shut the book with a gentle snap. A visible full-body shudder wracked his body with a sudden spasm, and he moaned softly in pain. "God." He murmured. "You...you know what this means." He whispered. No one had to agree; they all did.

Everyone stared at the book as if it was the source of all their problems. Axel even reached out a hand as if to burn it. But it was no use; destroying it wouldn't make it a lie.

It wouldn't save Yaya's life.

Luxord finally spoke. "Marly, you're going to get all the info you can from Vexen. We need to know more." His eyes hardened, and his knuckles tightened around his ever-present Tarot deck. "We have a right to know if the little lass we've come to care about is going to die." He murmured. Roxas shook his head.

"But what good will it do?" He replied, tears trailing down his cheeks as he clenched Axel's hand. "It's already too late to stop Xemnas."

This time, it was Saix who spoke. His voice was low, and he bowed his head to hide tears.

"If this is true...if what this book tells us will come to pass...then the least we can do is bring an end to it and give her a quick death." He said.

No one argued with him.

* * *

Xemnas didn't try to deny what Zexion had said. He simply watched him. Zexion had no more rage left to spend. Even the remembered hatred was hazy at best. He was shaking so hard he could barely stand.

"I followed your orders, Xemnas." He whispered. "I had sex with a little girl I loved because you told me that it was necessary. I did it to save her. I don't question that. I know it could've been worse." He inhaled, a sob catching in his throat. "But you're telling me this now, after it's too late to stop this. You knew, and you did it anyway." He looked up.

"And nothing you can tell me will justify that." He murmured. "You can get your precious Kingdom Hearts, and then you can bury her body."

He stormed out, the soft click of the door shutting somehow more horrible than if he'd slammed it.

Xemnas screamed, noise finally filling the unforgiving silence.

* * *

Senayax was waiting for Zexion as soon as he entered their room.

If he'd had a heart, it would've broken upon seeing what she was doing.

The bookshelves were all moved, and there were three cans of paint on the floor, with two more on the table. She was painstakingly fingerpainting on the walls. Bright colors were now streaked and spattered across the silver-white walls of his room.

This wasn't enough to have broken his nonexistent heart. No, what finally did it for him was the pink heart above their bed, the paint that made it still drying. As she turned to him, she smiled and whispered, "Zexion, I made it big enough for both of us." She held out a paint-coated hand. Hers was a vivid shade of daffodil-yellow. She simply raised an eyebrow at him and waited. He peeled off his gloves and stuck his hand palm-first into the bucket of purple paint, making sure it was thoroughly coated before lifting it out. She stood on the headboard and pressed her hand in first. After a few seconds, she pulled it away and waited for him.

He stood and pressed his hand on the heart, leaning it in so their thumbprints were pressed together. She smiled, clearly pleased. He managed a smile back, even as he remembered his promise.

"Senayax, there's something I have to tell you." He said, sitting on the bed. She nodded as she took a stained washcloth up from off the floor, scrubbing the paint off his hand and then doing the same to hers. He bit his lip. "I promised that I wouldn't keep secrets from you. So I won't. Senayax...what Xemnas ordered us to do..." He shuddered as she clambered up to sit on his lap, holding her close, not wanting to think about how soon it would be until he lost this sensation forever. He stroked her stomach and kissed her before finally getting the hateful words out of his mouth.

"Your body won't be able to survive this, Yaya. You're going to die." He whispered.

For a second, she simply watched him. He couldn't look at her as she did, and had to bow his head, to his shame. After a long, slow moment, she put her hand on his cheek and kissed him. "Zexion..." She whispered. He looked up, surprised by the change in her voice.

Someone else was sitting on his bed. This girl...woman, this woman who was not his Yaya. She couldn't be. Her eyes were wide-spaced, giving the impression of something wild and not fully human. She was made almost entirely of fragile bones and lean muscle, like a bird. Her limbs were tapering, spidery, and almost inhuman in their skeletal appearance. She was lean, her skin dark, and her hair that same shade of dried rose. Her scent was the same as Senayax's, but her bearing spoke of something ancient and immortal.

It was only there for a moment, and then Senayax was in his lap again. He shook the idea of the woman away, and looked down at his lover. Tears streamed down her face, but she was silent. He kissed each one away, and when he was done, she looked into his eyes. He felt like he was naked, his soul and remnants of emotions all stripped down for her to see.

"Zexion, if I die...can you promise to hold my hand?" She asked.

He held her close and whispered, "I promise," before letting himself cry.

* * *

Lexaeus had gone outside to the Altar of Naught, looking up at Kingdom Hearts with pure loathing written across his face.

"Look at what you did." He murmured venomously. "You ruined our family. You corrupted everything we had tried so hard to build. With all those hearts inside you...can you feel, you abomination?"

The only response he got was the child's inhuman screaming, echoing like an eldritch death rattle throughout his mind. He felt the darkness swirling around him, and he wondered with a small, grim smile across his face if Mother was a part of the darkness now.

"Is that what you'll become, Yaya?" He whispered. "A star in the darkness?" He laughed wryly. "All stars must return to the heavens, I suppose." He shook his head.

"You're taking her away from us, aren't you? Was she too good for us?" He snarled. "We brought you into existence. We _made you what you are. _How _dare _you take her away from us!" He screamed, anger clouding his thoughts.

"You're the one who let him." A soft voice interrupted him.

Lexaeus turned to see Zexion standing behind him. He shivered. "Zexion." He replied. "Shouldn't you be with Yaya?"

He shrugged. "She is asleep. I left Sunny Jim in there with her. He'll guard her against any _further _murderous attempts on her life." His voice was acidic as he watched Lexaeus. Lexaeus couldn't look away; the hatred and blame he so rightly deserved glowed with a darkly captivating light in his eyes.

"You let him kill her." He said. "You _knew. _You let him kill my princess._ You let him kill Yaya_. _Our_ Yaya." He snorted with contempt. "Or is she not yours any longer? Will I be the last one left to watch her _die? _Will you hide your faces with shame at what you have created? Are you just going to let her _die alone _now?" He screamed. Lexaeus narrowed his eyes.

"What did you expect any of us to do?" He snarled. "Reveal all this to Xemnas? How would it have changed anything? How could any of us have _known _he would go this far?" He shook his head.

"Don't you dare insinuate I don't care, Zexion. She's my responsibility as much as she is yours. She is all of our responsibilities." He said. Zexion laughed, voice almost cracking as he tried to stave off tears.

"Right, I forgot. Just like Mother was. But you let her die too, so I don't think you've got a very good track record with me right now, Aeleus." He spat. Lexaeus moaned quietly with pain, and for a moment, Zexion wanted to take back what he had said. But there was no way to do it, and right now, the thought of his baby girl dying was enough to push him beyond caring, at any rate.

"You protected me. You kept _me _safe, Aeleus." He realized he was crying, but he didn't bother trying to wipe the tears away. "Why can't you keep _her _safe?"

Lexaeus broke down in tears beside him, pulling him into a gentle hug. "I'm sorry, Ienzo. I'm so, so very sorry..." He stroked his hair while Zexion bawled, weeping without shame as he buried his face into his protector's chest and begged for his hero to come back and save her. "It's going to be okay, Ienzo, we'll do the best we can, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"Keep her safe, Aeleus...I want her back...I want Yaya back...I want her to _live...please let her live..._" He pleaded, sobs harsh and broken as he begged and wept for her. Lexaeus held him tight, kissing the top of his head.

"I don't know what to do, Ienzo." He confessed. "I just don't know what to do anymore."

Kingdom Hearts watched impassively from above as they finally gave up their hope and resigned themselves to their fate.


	53. Daddy

(I tried to put in a bit of humor at the end to stem the flow of endless tears.

Once again, I cried for Xemnas. Slightly with joy. Only slightly, though.

And yes, I'm a fucking monster. I am so very, very sorry.

There really is nothing to say. This fic wasn't supposed to be this long, this twisted, this depressing. I didn't intend for this to happen, which I think makes it better. I'm not sure. I just want them all to find peace.

Don't own.

Dedicated to the peacemakers.)

* * *

Xemnas hadn't said a word to anyone as he'd disappeared into the darkness. There was nothing for him _to _say. What did he say when he found out that his baby girl was going to die because of him? What did _any _father, adopted or not, have to say about it?

All he could think of is how Zexion's eyes had looked. They had been so full of hopelessness and pain, but...not even that could stun him.

It was the resignation. The fact that he had just given up on trying.

Xemnas couldn't blame him; he'd made it very hard for Zexion to do anything to save her, he readily admitted that, but...how could he have given up? Didn't he understand how much Senayax trusted him to save her?

_She had trusted you to save her, too. _A small voice reminded him. Xemnas felt bile rising in his throat as he shook his head, trying in vain to deny what he knew was the truth.

"But I love her." He murmured. "I didn't want to _murder_ her. No father would kill his daughter!"

_You're not really her father. Since when could a wretched _Nobody _become a father? Pitiable. The fact that you even think you could harbor such devotion is _heresy, _hollow man. No father would bury his daughter, but you are not a father. You are a _monster. _You walk the path of a monster and you have dragged her down with you. _The voice was harsh, accusing now, so full of hatred and contempt that Xemnas screamed out loud, slamming a fist into the wall and watching it soften and dissolve around his fist, fading back into nothingness.

Somehow, that act was enough to physically repulse him, and he retched, dry heaving for what felt like hours as he leaned against the wall and sobbed. It took him a few minutes to gather his strength and sanity back together enough to head for his room with the shambling walk of a man marked for execution.

The second he opened the door, Saix swept him into his arms, pulling him close and murmuring soft, comforting sounds in his ears as he picked him up and laid him on the bed, continuing to murmur the gentle nonsense as Xemnas trembled so hard that he could barely speak, his throat clogged with unshed tears as Saix took off his gloves, kissing the bruised skin underneath.

"Xemnas." He whispered. "I know. It's okay."

That set Xemnas off again, and he shook his head, his moans raw and anguished as he buried his face into his hands. "I didn't mean to-this isn't what I wanted, I-I just, I-I only wanted-what does it _matter _what I wanted!" He roared, passion coursing through him for another minute before he broke down again.

"Saix, I killed her. I killed her, I killed her." He repeated softly, unable to say anything else as Saix cradled him in his arms. He shook his head, stroking his master's hair and kissing his forehead.

"You don't know that, Xemnas. I stand by what I said before. It is your duty to lead us as Superior. You are going to devote all your knowledge, your skill, and your experience towards saving our Yaya, aren't you?" He asked. Xemnas nodded.

"Of course; I'm surprised you even asked...But, but Saix...what if..." He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. Saix bowed his head and shuddered.

"If she is to die an agonizing death regardless of our efforts, then we will make it merciful and quick." He murmured. Xemnas nodded, and was silent.

They both jumped when they heard a soft knock at the door. Xemnas looked at Saix, and there was a haunted, terrorized look in his eyes that made Saix start to shift into berserker mode at his master's fear, until he heard the soft, "Hello?"

Saix managed to find his voice enough to call back, "Come in, Senayax."

The door opened and Senayax peeked her head through it, walking in and standing in front of the bed with her rabbit in her arms. Everyone was silent for a long minute.

"Zexion told me I was gonna die soon." She said. "He wouldn't lie to me like that." Something odd and alien flashed behind her eyes, but it faded as soon as it had come, and it left a frightened little girl in its' place.

"A-am I gonna die, Xemnas?" She asked.

Xemnas didn't know what to say. She shook her head. "Cause I see'd Zexion coming back t'our room, an' then he just...he looked so sad. Like he'd given up. I knew he did, 'cause all he did was hold me an' cry until he fell asleep..." She shivered. "I'm scared. I don't...want to be givened up on..." She broke down in tears, trying to stifle the sounds of her sobs as she looked up at them. "Please don't give up on me..."

Xemnas pulled her into his arms from across the bed, desperately trying to cradle her close and stroke her hair as he sobbed with her. "No, no Yaya." He whispered. "We won't give up on you. I promise, I promise..." He felt Saix settle in beside them, holding his hand in his and stroking her hair with his other hand, and Xemnas could only think of one thing to say.

"Daddy's here, Yaya," he whispered, voice hoarse with agony, "daddy's here. It's going to be all right, sweetheart, daddy's here..."

Even after all he'd done, the soft sigh of relief as she snuggled deeper into his embrace was enough to make him feel human again.

* * *

So that was what Xemnas ordered. None of them would give up on her; Yaya would live. Vexen volunteered immediately to throw himself into the research. It got to the point where Marluxia had just dragged a mattress down the lab steps, and was now sleeping on the floor every night. An entire week passed, and none of the Apprentices were breathing easy.

Xigbar was the eldest, and as such felt like he had to take command, even over Xemnas. Which made sense-even Xemnas himself accepted Xigbar's wisdom. He felt more and more like a den mother, but whenever he saw Lexaeus trying not to cry as he observed Vexen mixing vast amounts of chemicals to try and keep Senayax alive, he realized that was what they needed right then.

Xaldin did his best to keep her entertained. He was the one who had transcribed most of their exploits at Radiant Garden, and he read to her until even the silvertongue's throat was sore. She listened carefully, and he could always look up, no matter what the story was, and find her eyes both distant and shining, like she was in a beautiful faraway place.

Lexaeus simply refused to believe the past would repeat itself. He sparred with Larxene, and threw his entire being into it each time, enough so that Larxene usually had to temporarily paralyze him so he wouldn't break something. He kept working with steadfast determination, refusing to doubt she would live. That quiet but ferocious determination spurred them all on, and soon it wasn't only Vexen who was staying up until dawn.

Zexion had not left her side. He had brought their bed down to the lab, shoved it in the corner, and moved a bookshelf down with him for good measure. He only left the room when she did, and stayed by her side even when she was sedated and injected with any number of normally toxic hormones and chemicals, just to ensure her safety. If it had been anyone else, they would have found it darkly funny. As it was, they acknowledged the irony before moving on with their work.

Senayax herself was still stable, as far as they could tell. She would vomit in the mornings, but they were mostly sure that it was simply morning sickness. She hadn't seemed to change her feelings about them, even after all they'd done. She still smiled even if she so much as saw them, she still insisted on wearing her obnoxiously bright clothing, and she still bothered Zexion to read her _Tales of the Keyblade Bearers. _

She kept her promise not to hide from her family. When she could walk, she would head out of the lab and up the steps, pestering whoever she could find to play with her. No one refused, no matter what they had been doing at the time.

Demyx had finally collected his thoughts about what had happened, and wrote her a song. Senayax would listen to him play Peggy, fingers dancing across the strings as he watched her. Her face was always serene, her head tilted and her eyes closed. He knew she was somewhere else when he played, but he saw her reach out to touch his sitar and catch the vibrations, and he knew she could still hear the music.

Saix had sworn never to whelp pups. He had to admit to himself with a bit of amusement that it was a physical impossibility. But he had taken Senayax as a pup. He'd never had to acknowledge it before, but as he saw her sitting on the floor, shivering with cold only she could feel and trying to stand, he felt that animalistic desire to protect overtake him.

It was like his berserker state...but not. Different on some instinctual level. He knew it, but he had not accepted it until then, watching her struggle. Without a word, he'd picked her up and brought her to the lounge, where everyone had come to relax. She didn't say a word, but the small sigh of contentment and a squeeze of his hand was enough for him.

Whenever she could hear someone in the plush room, she'd follow down and curl up on the couch. As soon as everyone noticed, Axel had been the first to stay down there, keeping the fire lit and usually playing a card game with Luxord. She'd watch them for awhile, and call out one of their cards to the other, amusement coloring her words. Roxas would laugh, except Axel would usually throw his cards at him. Senayax would laugh as the two eventually wrestled each other, and Luxord would usually drag her out with a sigh when the make-out session started.

Larxene followed Lexaeus into the lab, and engaged in deadpan readings of her romance novels. Senayax would laugh to the point where she'd turn purple, and Larxene would glare at Lexaeus whenever he purred with amusement at the type of books she read.

As they continued on into the second week, all of them made a small vow. They wouldn't stop looking her in the eyes, regardless of what happened. She would not be made to feel like an animal. She was still their Yaya, still a little girl, no matter what had transpired.

By the third week overall, she was starting to shake occasionally. Zexion surmised it was from a lack of nutrition, and soon enough no one complained when she ate the marshmallow cereal, even if she was really just picking out the fake marshmallow bits.

The end of the month was approaching in another week, and they were starting to shown anxiety. Vexen had finally passed out from sheer exhaustion, and Marluxia had thrown the mother of all _grand mal _fits when he'd found out; he'd screamed and swore and smashed vases, sobbing hysterically while he did, and when Vexen finally woke up, he took his key to the lab and nailed the door shut. When Vexen reminded him he could just teleport down there, Marluxia tied him to the bed.

Needless to say, Vexen promised very quickly that he wouldn't be going down there until he'd had rest.


	54. Her World In His Eyes

(I put in a little Zerith in this chapter. It is like one of my favorite FFVII pairings EVER, without question. I don't care it's not yaoi or whatever, I don't think het is ew, so this pairing...god, just this pairing. It's beautiful, it's sweet, and it's one of the best things to come out of Crisis Core.

Kind of a short chapter after such a long period of not updating; I'm really sorry about that! D: I was trying to pad the length slightly, but I couldn't get too far. :( So sorry, apologies in advance!

Not much else to say here...erm, this is basically a training montage, so if you want to set it to like, the Pokemon Gym theme, that'd be cool. HOORAY FOR FILLER!

Also IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW so I might write a special OGC chapter in commemoration or something. :3 Anyhoodle, hope this chapter is worth the wait!

Don't own KH, blah.

Dedicated to poor Terra for failing the exam. Poor muffincup, he looked so heartbroken. :( DAMMIT XEHANORT THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. AGAIN.)

* * *

While the World that Never Was was in complete turmoil, Sora was living in tranquility. For a time, it had seemed like it was a dream. But as he continued to believe Cid was working on the ship, and Kairi and Riku kept their silence, he began to accept that this was a small window of existence he finally got to step through and experience.

Cloud and Leon hadn't let him relax on sparring, but that was okay with Sora. He threw himself into his training, knowing that he needed to stay sharp with his Keyblade. He wasn't stupid, and he knew this wouldn't last. He wanted to be as prepared and battle-ready as he could so that when the fighting ended and Kairi and Riku came home, he could stay with them here, and show them what a normal family was like, too.

Once he'd gotten over Vincent's admittedly off-putting appearance, he'd begun to follow the ex-Turk around like a puppy desperate for approval. Vincent found it amusing, and often took time out of his own training to tutor Sora. His sparring techniques were drastically different from Cloud and Leon's-his focused more on speed than power. Sora did his best to combine both, and soon he'd noted progress on both fronts.

Tifa knew what they were doing was wrong. But as Cid had said, Sora had desperately needed it. He was so much happier lately, and even Donald and Goofy kept their silence about what they were delaying.

Aerith had stayed out of the worries, and simply continued to tend her garden. She taught Sora how to heal and build, telling him, "Leon, Cloud, and Vincent can all teach you how to fight, but only I can teach you how to heal and grow." He followed her around Hollow Bastion now, helping patch up the long-decrepit lots and aid the townspeople.

Sora had begun to notice that every time she would plant one of her trademark lilies, she would whisper, "All for you, Zack." Sora didn't know who Zack was, but the fact that Aerith looked torn between adoration and agony made him act. He would hug her every time, or hold her hand and squeeze it gently, or sometimes even kiss the top of her head, holding her close for a moment. Aerith would always give him a warm, grateful smile when he did, and it would always light Sora up on the inside. He began to idolize her and her talents, and she gladly taught him everything she knew.

Sora wouldn't understand why, but every time she looked at him, she smiled. He had meant to ask her, but it had never come up; besides, he figured she wanted her privacy sometimes.

Aerith couldn't tell him that she smiled every time she saw him because each time she looked into his eyes, she could see Zack smiling at her again...

Tifa was put in charge of teaching him hand-to-hand combat. If he was going to stay, he wasn't going to stop training. She wanted to make sure he could fight even without the aid of a Keyblade. Sora had to work much harder with her, having less experience with bare-handed fights, but in the end, it was worth it. He was skilled in hand-to-hand enough to satisfy her.

During these few months, Sora himself had grown up. He was now at least two inches taller, his skill had increased sevenfold and he was now almost as muscular as Riku. He was stronger now, and perhaps it was better that they'd waited and let him stay with them. He seemed more prepared to fight the darkness now than he ever had.

Tifa had let her worries drift to the back of her mind. Having Sora here with them was just too perfect for her to break the reality.

But there were a few people who couldn't forget Sora's absence.

* * *

"Kairi, do you think...he really heard us?" Riku said, as they finally rested, exhausted from fighting off Heartless. The swarms seemed to be increasing in number day after day. No matter what they did, they just kept surging forward. Kairi curled close to him, and inhaled a shaky breath.

"Riku, I don't know. I...I want to believe he did, because he said...he said that he loved us." She murmured, hugging her knees against her chest. "It meant the world to me." She said, smiling dreamily as she looked up at the expanse of darkness. Riku nodded, his smile matching hers as he clasped his hand over his heart.

"Me too, Kairi. I just don't know if he knows that it wasn't just a dream. I hope...I hope he knows it was real. Because we told him we loved him too. Remember?" He murmured. Kairi laughed.

"I was there, Riku." She teased, flicking his forehead. He rolled his eyes, huffing and waving his hand dismissvely.

"Right, how could I forget?" He teased back, and she shoved him, laughing and ruffling his hair. He tried to squirm away, but she still followed him, pinning him with one hand and mussing his hair with the other as he shrieked hysterically and tried to wriggle out of her grasp.

"My lady, you musn't raise a hand against your fellow Knight, especially not one who has sworn to protect you." Ansem's voice reached their ears, and both sat up immediately, trying to cover up their embarrassment. Riku glowered triumphantly at Kairi, ruffling her hair in retaliation.

"You heard the man." He purred, as Kairi smacked the back of his head. He shrieked with indignant pain and rubbed his head as he glared at her, narrowing his eyes and hissing at her. She simply smirked, sticking her tongue out at him. Ansem suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Mickey appeared by his side with a small sigh, observing the endless darkness.

"He has not contacted you in any way?" Mickey asked. Both Riku and Kairi shook their heads, apparently deflated as the memory of Sora swamped their thoughts. Mickey sighed, giving them a weary smile. "It's not your fault, so don't feel bad, okay? Please. Despair will only feed the darkness further." He admonished. They nodded, but the hopeless, resigned look in their eyes remained. Ansem continued.

"At this rate, I'm not sure just how much longer that we can hold the darkness off. It may simply be a matter of time before the worlds are overtaken...unless, of course, we find Sora. Is there a way you two could try again?" He pleaded. Riku and Kairi shrugged, sharing an uncertain glance with each other before meeting Ansem's eyes.

"We've tried...but...it hasn't worked like last time. I don't know why, but his mind was so desperate for any sign of us...perhaps that's the reason it got through. We'll keep trying though, promise." She said, brightening up slightly. "Until then, I guess we're gonna have to keep fighting!" Kairi reminded them, giving them all a cheerful smile. Riku nodded in agreement.

"We can't just give up and wait for him. We have to keep going." He said firmly, eyes narrowed as his jaw set with determination. The others nodded. Riku sighed, all the fight going out of him for a moment. "But...if all else fails, we have to leave the darkness and go find him in whatever world he resides in. I think if he could really see us and we could really talk to him...then maybe he'd understand." He murmured.

"We can only hope." Ansem said quietly. "If we're wrong, I can safely say, with little hyperbole, this may be the end of all the worlds."


	55. Thinking of You

(JESUS I realized how long it's been since I've updated and went FFFFF because I'd been holding back on you guys for so long! I'm really sorry! I got nervous about the chapter length D:

Oh god, poor Senayax. Squall loves you still don't worry D: And jeez, Sora, YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! /shot/

I am so so so so so sorry about this! Funnily enough, it was because I was working on OGC ^^; so you got one update and then not this. xDx Sorrysorrysorryyyyy D:

Jesus, Squall. Seriously. Funnily enough, (and this will show up more in the epilogue/sequel/what have you), Squall is sort of her self-appointed older brother, (not that she's complaining), and Sora is basically her big brother as well, albeit one she can play with, rather than a big brother who is big and so _old. _xD

You know, in an AU, I'd actually ship either Senayax/Squall or Senayax/Sora pretty hard. I actually WROTE the former as a gift for a friend. If OGC ever does AU chapters, (and I think it will), it might show up. ^^;

Sssyeah that's it. FASTER UPDATES NAO KTHNX.

Don't own KH.

Dedicated to everyone who put up with my crap. Sorry...)

* * *

Sora still suspected nothing, even as the weeks passed. He was enjoying himself to the point where even if Riku and Kairi had shown up, he might not have gone with them. Even as he trained, the goal of defeating the darkness loomed lesser and lesser in his mind.

Time was passing faster than he realized. It had been two months now, and was speeding towards three fast. He'd forgotten about Senayax as well, and perhaps if he'd been aware what had happened to her, regardless of the blissful family life he had now, maybe he would have gone to find her.

* * *

Senayax was fast starting to swell. The chemicals had kept her alive, but the pain of the faster growth within her was leaving her in constant agony, giving her an agonizing limbo between life and nothingness. Zexion still cradled her close, uncaring of her cold skin and feverish chill, and just prayed to whatever gods there were that she would stay alive.

One morning, she awoke first, and sat up in bed. She looked down at her lover and smiled, taking in his mussed hair and bleary eyes with affection, stroking his hair and kissing his forehead. He had stayed up with her the entire night, stroking her hair and reading to her. She decided to let him sleep. She knew the past two months had been rough on everyone.

She tilted her head back and looked up at the walls of the lab. She could feel the moon tugging at her consciousness, but for the moment, she wanted to relish the time she had with Zexion.

_The baby is pure, you know. _The moon said. Evidently, it didn't care what she wanted. Senayax groaned, and closed her eyes.

_So? _She snapped, too angry to care she was talking back to something that could erase her with a thought. The moon sighed.

_So its' heart has not been touched by the darkness. But it has not seen the light, either. Perhaps it is what we needed. Something wholly neutral. This may indeed work out. _The moon mused. Senayax sighed in relief.

_Good. 'Cause I'm done. I wanna go back t'fuckin' normal. _She muttered. The moon sighed.

_So does he. _It murmured. Senayax blinked.

_He? _She asked. The moon continued.

_The darkness is changing, shifting. The closer Kingdom Hearts comes, the more unstable it gets. We need Sora. But he is gone. Senayax, listen to me. He has ignored the pleas of his fellow Keyblade wielders. But he was, if I remember correctly, looking for you. You need to go get him. Can you? Are you strong enough? _The moon asked. Senayax snorted.

_D'ya fuckin' need t'ask? _She murmured. As she opened her eyes and summoned a Corridor, she muttered, "You're gonna be in trouble for wakin' me up, Sora."

* * *

Leon stirred, and opened his eyes, sitting up in bed. Someone was banging on the door like the hounds of hell were baying outside. He stretched and leapt out of bed, going to unlock it and open it before whoever it was broke the door down. As he opened the door, he looked down, and bit back a gasp.

Senayax stood at his door, fully dressed in bright clothing but with her hair still mussed as if she'd been sleeping recently. She looked up at him. "Mornin', Squall." She said, trying to smile. Leon knew that sort of smile; he had made it a few times in a desperate attempt to convince someone he was all right. It was a smile made only to mask pain.

_She shouldn't be in pain._ He could only gawk for a moment before shaking his head, trying to find some thread of normalcy to cling to so he wouldn't start to weep.

"Leon." He murmured. "I go by Leon now." She nodded, shifting from foot to foot and trying to put her smiling mask back.

"Mmkay. Is Sora here?" She asked, her eyes finally lighting up slightly with hope. He blinked, already feeling a heavy stone of dread lodge itself in his stomach.

"Um, yes...but...but...what's going on?" He asked, already awaiting the answer that would undo their months of work. She sighed.

"I think you know." She murmured. "You know the darkness is shifting, Leon. He can't stay here any longer." He nodded.

"I know." He murmured. "But we love him." She nodded.

"I understand." She said quietly, putting a hand over her stomach as if to silence a crying child. As she did, Leon realized what had happened, and the horror hit him full in the face, the shock almost like a physical slap as he fell to his knees.

"Oh, oh god, Senayax-Yaya-what did they_ do?" _He shouted. "_What the hell did they do to you?"_ He didn't realize he'd been screaming until she winced with pain. But he ignored his own screaming. He couldn't comprehend it. Her stomach was swelled, like she was...she was... "Senayax, please...please, they didn't..." He trailed off, unable to speak as she nodded.

"Zexion. They hadda, for Kingdom Hearts. I had t'help. I was brave." She murmured. "But it hurts, Leon. It hurts lots." As she looked up at him, he realized from the haunted look in her eyes that he was the only one that she had dared to tell about the pain, because he was the only one who wouldn't have to bear the burden of what they'd done, that one innocent statement perhaps breaking them forever. He could only nod as he knelt and pulled her close, trying to hold her like he would hold a normal child, hoping in some way that small gesture would give her some solace.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "If it helps...I had to hurt like you did when I was a child, too." She looked up and managed a small giggle. He managed to smile weakly back at her. "Although it was in a different way." He stood up, trying not to think of Ellone. "I'll go wake Sora. Would you please come in?" She nodded.

"Sure, but you gotta promise not t'tell anyone I'm here. They don't know." She said, shrugging her shoulders. "Don't think they'd have let me outta their sight...but I had to come. The moon told me to." She murmured. Leon paused at the threshold.

"The moon." He said slowly. "The moon talked to you." Senayax shrugged again, giving him a small smile.

"It's kinda hard t'explain, but yeah. Please just trust me." She said, taking his hand for a minute and squeezing it gently. Leon could only nod as he headed for Sora's room.

The boy himself was sprawled over the sheets, snoring softly as his blankets lay haphazard over him. Leon managed a small smile before he realized what he was going to do now was going to break Sora's heart. The truth would have to come out...all of it. He just prayed that Sora would forgive them. He shook his shoulder gently and whispered, "Sora, you need to get up. Someone's here to see you." He murmured.

The Keyblade bearer opened his eyes, sitting up in bed and blinking the dregs of sleep from his eyes. "Mm? Leon? Who...who is it?" He murmured.

"Sora, you better be ready t'go, 'cause I hadda get up early for you." Senayax said, standing in the doorway and tapping her foot. Sora took a moment to stare at her, before he simply gasped.

"Y-yaya? What are you doing here! You can't be here!" He yelled, scrabbling out of bed and standing up, trying to reach out to her as his mind tried to react to her presence. She raised an eyebrow.

"Can too. M'here right now, innit I? But that's not th' point. Point be, Sora, the moon told me you have to leave now." She said firmly. Sora blinked in shock, still trying to process this sudden turn of events.

"The moon?" He asked. Senayax sighed.

"Ayuh. The moon, Sora, th' moon says the darkness be comin'. An' they need you. Riku and Kairi. You've waited too long. You gotta go, Sora. S'time." She murmured, giving him a sad smile, as if she knew and understood the pain he felt. She closed her eyes and tilted her head. "The moon says I gotta go now. I can't stay, 'cause I'll mess things up if I do. I'll see you later, okay?" She gave him a smile; it was small, but it was genuine, and her eyes were filled with hope. "Bye..." She murmured. As she disappeared, Sora reached to grab her and make her stay, but the Corridor had already swallowed her up and taken her home.

He simply stared, shaking with shock and slight fear. "Leon? Leon...I thought...Cid said..." He was putting the pieces together, and Leon shook his head, knowing his denial wouldn't solve anything. It wasn't supposed to end like this. It was supposed to end better!

"Sora, no...please, please. You have to understand-" Leon started to explain, but Sora cut him off.

"I do understand. That's why I have to go." He darted from the room, with Leon simply watching him, frozen in his place as tears dripped down his cheeks.

Sora burst into the engine room and saw the black gummi, still sitting on Cid's work table. He shuddered, still in shock, but shook it off. He snatched it up without hesitation and placed it in the ship. It glowed a bright, midnight blue before settling into the ship by itself. He gave a weak smile of relief before scribbling off a note to the others.

"_I understand. It's okay. Thank you. -Love, Sora." _

For the first time ever, he boarded the ship alone and geared it straight for the World that Never Was.


	56. The Players Gather

(HEY LOOK HORRIBLE DEPRESSING THINGS.

Dude, what else is new. I bet if I'd written HEY LOOK A REALLY HAPPY NICE CHAPTER WITH LOTS OF COMEDIC RELIEF AND CUTE FLUFF you'd be all like "what the shit, who the fuck is writing this crap?" You are just that used to this, aren't you?

Although lol Yuffie. Oh lampshading.

Also, aww sweet moment. And stuff.

Also I love the idea of Leon being like "DUDE NOT MY FAULT HE RAN OFF CAUSE SOME CELESTIAL BODY TOLD A LITTLE GIRL TO TELL HIM TO" and Aerith is probably like "OMFG I'M SO SORRY WE KEPT HIM HERE WE WERE DOING HORRIBLE THINGS I JUST KNOW IT PLEASE FORGIVE ME" and Cid would basically be like, "I AIN'T SORRY FOR SHIT," and poor, sane Vincent would be like, "Chief, behave..." And Tifa is probably just like watching, really unsure of what to tell Ansem that wouldn't sound totally crazy. Ansem is like "GOD FINE WHATEVER LET'S JUST GO I HAVE TO GO YELL AT MY SONS NOW oh man they are SO grounded grumblegrumble" and yeah.

Right...^^; Nothin' much else to say. The story is drawing to a close, but even so, all the players have not assembled on the stage quite yet...

Yeah, now's the time One Day More is supposed to kick in and everyone starts singing. I CALL EPONINE'S PART :D

Right, anyways, that's mostly it. I'm in a nice mood today. :3 Also I have henna tats all over my left arm, hand-done of course. :3 That's why my right isn't done. ^^; They're fun. :3

One day I won't say it, I swear.

Dedicated to Pluto. I love you, man. You're still a planet in my eyes.)

* * *

Senayax sighed with relief, realizing no one had noticed her disappearance. Zexion was still asleep, and the rest of the castle was quiet. Now she simply had to wait. She felt Zexion stir next to her as she got back in bed. As she settled in beside him, he opened his eyes. "You're awake?" He murmured. She nodded, and kissed his forehead.

"Yeah. Was waitin' for you." She murmured. He smiled as he sat up. He kissed her cheek before stroking her abdomen gently, holding her on his lap and massaging her stomach. Senayax shifted as she suddenly felt pressure. She wailed with pain and clutched him close as she trembled against his chest. "Hurts..." She murmured. Zexion nodded.

"I know. It's okay." He kissed her forehead again. "Yaya, I'm sorry...I'm just so glad you're alive. You don't know how lucky I feel." He murmured. She smiled as he cuddled her closer, shifting her weight so she was cradled in his arms. Senayax felt slightly guilty for not telling him she'd been to see Sora, but the moon had told her to keep silent. So she simply settled into his arms, blissfully falling back asleep.

* * *

Throughout these few months, Ansem and Mickey had tried to calm the children and allay their fears, but they were quickly reaching the end of their patience.

"I need to see him." Riku snapped. "We're going." Ansem raised an eyebrow and observed the darkness. It had shifted further, but the Heartless were no longer coming in spades. He sighed. Even then...

"Young Knight, I'm not sure that is the wisest course of action. We would be leaving the darkness, and thus assuring the worlds have no defense from the Heartless." He said. Riku shook his head.

"But he needs us! Ansem, we have to go find him! Please...we can't do it without him, you said so yourself." He said, finally finding his strongest argument. Ansem sighed, shaking his head and observing the vast expanse of nothingness. He wouldn't admit it, but Riku had reminded him painfully of Ienzo in that moment. Plus, the king, to his dismay, agreed with the children.

"Riku's right. We have to go get Sora. Ansem, it won't take too long, and if all else fails, one of us will go back. Get Namine. We need to go." He said firmly. Ansem sighed, and finally relented, standing up and stretching, old bones shifting and creaking in protest. Mickey summoned a small portal for him to follow back home and get Namine.

"All right, your majesty. I shall meet you at Hollow Bastion. I just pray you know what you're doing, all of you." He murmured. Kairi laughed.

"We never do, but that doesn't matter. Come on!" She said cheerfully, leaving the vaguely-bemused males behind as she headed through the darkness and towards Hollow Bastion.

* * *

Leon woke the others up to break the news. He hadn't told them exactly why he'd needed them, but as they assembled, he laid the note down. As they read it, they understood why.

Cid simply stared at the note, head in his hands as the ashes in his cigarette darkened and lost their glow. "Shit." He muttered, at a loss for words. "Shit." Tifa sighed.

"It was bound to happen. We knew it, chief. It's just..." She bit her lip and hugged herself, looking down at the floor. "I thought it would've ended better." Cloud sighed and slumped in his seat. Leon was simply lost in thought.

"She showed up." He murmured. "Like she knew we'd been keeping him here. She said the moon told her. That has to be a code name for something...the moon doesn't talk." He said flatly. At this, Vincent managed a small laugh.

"The moon doesn't talk. Right. Same as little girls don't turn into horrific inhuman slaughterhouses and living embodiments of darkness don't overrun entire worlds." He quipped. Leon glared at him. Vincent actually gave him a cheeky little smirk as he rolled his eyes.

"You get my point." He grumbled. "The thing is, he went off alone..." He sighed, wrapping his coat tighter around himself as he felt a shiver wrack his body.

Suddenly, a familiar voice interrupted them. "Who went off alone, Leonhart?" Leon looked up and saw an _incredibly _peeved Ansem standing in his kitchen, eyes narrowed and jaw set. Surrounding him were Riku, Namine, Kairi, Donald, Goofy, and King Mickey himself. Everyone present stared at the scene, unsure of what to say. Then Yuffie spoke.

"Wow, if he'd waited, like, another five minutes, none of this would've happened." She said. Cid tried to glare at her, but the two of them were clearly fighting back giggles. Ansem shook his head in shock.

"Sora left, did he not?" He murmured. Leon nodded.

"Senayax came here...you met her, Ansem, the little girl...she...she's pregnant." He said quietly, bile rising in his throat as he said it. Ansem's eyes widened in horror as the others watched Leon in shock, stunned into silence by the relevation.

"She's _alive?" _He roared. Leon jumped.

"Yes. I saw her. She was the one who told Sora he had to leave. Ansem, is something wrong? I mean, besides the obvious." He said wryly. Ansem nodded frantically, worry etched into the man's features.

"So that was what he'd been planning...of course, he didn't know, only Aeleus ever saw what really happened, it was all secondhand for the others...Leon, it is very hard for me to explain in detail, but the long story short is that she should be dead right now. I don't know what's going on, but we need to find Sora. Where did he go?" He snapped. Leon was trying to stop his mind reeling from his statement, but he did think for a moment. Then he managed a small, wry smile.

"Isn't it obvious? He followed her. He's headed for the World that Never Was, Ansem. And you need to tell me why she's supposed to be dead. Now." He said, his mind unable to stop the image of the sweet little girl rotting alive, consumed with the darkness wriggling like maggots under her skin. The fierce determination in his voice gave Ansem pause, and he sighed.

"Because two heartless beings cannot make a being with a heart. I should know, I've tried." He muttered darkly, before turning on his heel and disappearing back into the Corridor Namine had summoned for them. Leon turned to the other Keyblade wielders and raised an eyebrow. Kairi sighed.

"Sorry, Squall, but we have to go. Don't worry, we'll send word." Kairi said cheerfully, waving goodbye before leading Riku, the King, Donald, and Goofy off to follow Ansem.

* * *

Senayax stretched and sat up, wriggling her toes against the cold floor. She looked up and smiled. Vexen was already downstairs, and he was muttering darkly at a series of charts. She got up and kissed him, murmuring, "Mornin'." He looked down at her and ruffled her hair, holding her close for a moment.

"Morning, Senayax." He paused, a thought occurring to him as reached a hand out to stroke her stomach. "Senayax, just let me hold it there for a moment..." He murmured just before she winced in pain and he felt a ripple pass through her stomach. As he kept his hand steady, he felt a small, but definite kick.

She whimpered in pain, but Vexen gasped in delight. "It's all right...you're both all right..." He murmured, sending a quick, grateful prayer to Shiva. "Yaya, go wake up Zexion. He'll want to see this." She nodded, and even managed a small smile. He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her hand. "You are very brave. I promise." He murmured. She nodded.

"I know." She said, before going to wake up Zexion.

He awoke to see her kneeling over him, holding his hand and smiling down at him. "It kicked, Zexion." She murmured. "Wanna feel?" He stirred, and then blinked in shock, sitting up and pressing a hand against her stomach. It took a minute, but he felt it stir, then kick. She managed a small smile as he stared in wonder. "Hurts less now." She murmured, before pressing her hand on top of his.

It was the last brilliant memory he'd have-both himself and his lover waiting for their baby to kick.


	57. Voices like Soft Thunder

(For those of you who DO know what happens, don't spoil. Mmkay? Just so you know.

Awww happy reunions. :D Sora gets to be happy because he's Kingdom Hearts' Jesus-boy, but apparently everyone else can go fuck themselves. That's not even just MY canon, that's actually what happens in the REAL KH. Roxas? No, fuck you. Namine? Fuck you too. Ansem? Haha, sucks to be you. Aqua, Ven, Terra? Make way for Jesus, babes. The Org? Do I even have to say it?

I could sit here ALL DAY and go on and on about the only people getting a happy ending are really Sora and Kairi; Riku to an extent, but you know, NO ONE is ever letting him live that darkness thing down, god forbid we make mistakes as FIFTEEN YEAR OLDS. That's the KH equivalent to one of us, say, getting drunk at a party and then having it brought up for the rest of our lives. Oh Disproportionate Retribution, you make me laugh/sob so.

ALSO, and FURTHERMORE, Kairi only gets a happy ending because she is basically the Disney Princess Classic in KH world. (The Mooniverse punts that right the fuck out the window, I should think.) Personally, if someone asked me why Riku/Sora was far more popular than Sora/Kairi, I'd have to say that's the answer; Kairi, as KH portrays her, is basically a Disney Princess, and thus her romance with Sora would follow that same bland formula that we sat through throughout all of our childhoods. Hell, they're barely ON SCREEN TOGETHER in the expanse of like what, three or four fucking games with them in it?

She is only talked about, and is never shown as an active participant. It's fucking patronizing, is what it is; Kairi sits home and Riku and Sora fight over her/cry over her, oh noes. What the fuck does she get to do? Hell, she doesn't even have a say in who saves her ass! It should be herself saving her own ass, kthnx, considering SHE IS A FUCKING KEYBLADE KNIGHT. Now that we've grown up, we ask a bit more in relationship development, which we don't get from Sora and Kairi, but we most certainly DO get with Riku and Sora.

(Quick note; I adore Kairi, and this is in no way trying to piss on her as a character. But it's definitely something about Squeenix that can set my teeth on edge quite often. Hell, it's half the reason people bitched about Aqua's story in BBS being too weak; because Nomura has NEVER EVER EVER written something in KH from an asskicking woman's point of view. Dude, you came up with the Lady Yuna, what the fuck happened in the interim?)

...Wow, sorry, don't know where that came from. Shit, I could write an entire term paper on that. Fuck it, I'm reposting rants on my profile so I can bitch to the universe. Oh soapbox, how I love thee.

SPEAKING OF EVERYONE ELSE HAVING HORRIFICALLY DEPRESSING ENDINGS well there you go.

The moon's identity is finally revealed :O Cookies and kudos to anyone who figured it out before now. I was about as subtle as a brick to the face, but that's only if you are a dork like me and could pick up on the little details. ^^;

GO ZEXION YOU TELL IT LIKE IT IS only it doesn't matter one damn whit because you can't fight fate :D Sucks to be you I guess.

And that's mostly it. :D Hope this is a good chapter and a good indicator of what comes next. :3

Don't own KH duhhh.

Dedicated to everyone else passed over for a happy ending in KH. I'll try to give you one instead. :D)

* * *

Sora gunned the Gummi Ship and closed his eyes in pain. He knew he shouldn't have run off like that, not after all that the others had done for him. But Senayax had come to him, and he hadn't been able to save her, or ask her what had happened to make her stomach swell that way...

Part of him knew only one thing could do that, but the part of him that had begun to believe in a spark of good within the Nobodies refused to accept it. She'd loved them so much. The Organization wouldn't have...done that to a little girl. After all, they'd saved her when she'd run off, and...she had smiled when she'd talked about them. They loved her. They were her family. Her family would keep her safe. Right?

Sora shook his head and shuddered. He couldn't have been right about them having no hearts. He didn't _want _to be right anymore. He needed answers. He needed to find her. He knew the Organization must have had something to do with the darkness changing, and perhaps...

If Riku and Kairi could forgive him for leaving them for so long...

Perhaps they'd be waiting for him there.

With that in mind, he revved the ship and pressed onward.

* * *

Since Senayax was doing so well, everyone decided to take a break for the day. She happily ran up the lab steps, finally feeling free to leave, and ran straight into Axel. She laughed, and tugged his arm. "Axel! Axel, it kicked!" She said cheerfully. He blinked, completely confused before realizing what she meant. He pressed a hand against her stomach, and sure enough, the baby kicked again.

He shook his head in amazement. She looked up at him and smiled. He knew that this wasn't exactly a good thing...But she was happy. At least...at least she was happy. He managed to smile back, and kissed the top of her head. "Great. Now c'mon, kiddo, let's go do something fun for a change."

She happily followed behind him, ready to enjoy her day.

So the day settled into a comfortable cycle. Everyone found their way into the lounge as they woke up, moving everything into that one room so as to keep themselves together and keep the chance of seeing their little girl, their last breath of hope, entirely intact.

It was an odd sort of clash; Peggy's musical crescendos mixed with, supported, and muted the scratching sounds of pen against paper as Vexen amended old notes, the soft shushing noises of turning pages softening the harsh scratches while the whistling sounds of arrows tearing open the air added a harsh contrast every so often as they sailed through the air and hit the walls.

If someone had come in and looked at them all, appearances and age and temperaments as varied as the spectrums of light, they would have ignored all of that and known that they were a family. That day, anything that made them different had faded and blended with the others, leaving only a content, peaceful family behind, one that had come together because of insane odds, and stayed together despite insane odds.

With Sunny Jim in her arms, Senayax looked around at her family, smiled, and called it good.

* * *

Sora looked up and stared into the darkness. The ship had driven him straight to the World that Never Was...but now he didn't know what to do. He shuddered and gripped his Keyblade, opening the door and stepping outside.

There was moment's pause before he screamed.

Riku and Kairi stood outside on the edge of the city, waiting for him. The city stretched out behind them, and he saw the castle, and knew the Organization was there. The darkness swirled above them all, but none of it mattered. He saw Donald, Goofy, Namine, Ansem and Mickey as well, but he ignored them all in that moment, focused solely on his friends. There was a pause after his sob, and then Riku held out his arms.

Sora darted into them and collapsed against his chest, bawling hysterically as Riku cradled him close. "Sssh, Sora...sssh, it's all right, I'm here, ssh..." Sora was inconsolable, however, and curled closer. Riku sighed in amusement and kissed his forehead. "Sora, calm down, love. You're going to give yourself a heart attack." He teased. Sora nodded, and took a deep, shuddering breath before breaking down in tears again. Kairi wrapped her arms around him, and Sora could feel her warmth pressed against his back. He turned to kiss her, and then Riku, in turn.

"I...I'm so sorry...I just, I thought Cid was really working on it." He murmured. "I believed them." Kairi sighed, and grasped his hand.

"Sora, please don't blame them, okay? They all love you, and you're a part of their family. We understand, and we forgive them. You will too, won't you?" She asked. Sora nodded, hugging her as tight as he could and stroking her hair.

"Of course, Kairi...they're my family too." He said, laughing. "And...I think...I was never going to be ready for this, but I know I'm stronger now. And...and I have you all with me." He said, and he shook away tears that had sprung to his eyes. Ansem managed a small smile and agreed, but his mind was on other things.

_Xehanort, she was a child. _He thought. _She was just a _child_._

Sora looked up at the castle, and then looked back at his friends. "Um, I don't know if this is going to be a fight...it might be. You're all ready?" He asked. The Knights held their Keyblades aloft. Sora grinned. "I guess that's a yes."

The small group set off, the castle looming ahead in the darkness as they walked up the winding road towards the doors.

* * *

Senayax was curled on the couch, playing chess with Saix. He was leaning against Xemnas, who was stroking his hair and running a hand down his back. Saix would occasionally pause in a move and mewl, arching into his touch. Senayax would, of course, take advantage of this, and shift his pieces around the board. As Zexion watched this process, he had to figure that Xemnas was doing it on purpose. He smiled in amusement, and decided to even the playing field. He got up from his seat and cuddled close to Senayax, rubbing her shoulders and stroking her neck. She mewled, and arched her back into his touch. Saix, seeing his opening, shifted her pieces around.

Xemnas and Zexion met each other's gaze for a moment. Xemnas raised an eyebrow. Zexion smirked. The two shared a quick grin before going back to attending to their lovers.

By the time ten minutes had passed, no one had claimed a single piece, and in all honesty, they had probably forgotten they were playing chess.

No one was aware of Sora making his way towards the castle. No one, of course, except the ever-present moon. Through it, Senayax would soon know. Yet even the moon hesitated to warn her. She was at peace, without pain for the first time since before her pregnancy. But it knew Sora would come regardless, and she must be prepared.

The moon sighed, and called out to its' avatar.

* * *

Senayax paused in the game, and turned to observe them all. She prayed someone else had spoken, but it was indeed the moon. It sighed within her head. _My little ward, he has come. He wants this to end, and he will strike down whatever is necessary to do so. Let me in. I need to pass on this message. _Senayax shivered, knowing Hollowmoon was waiting in the wings if she opened her mind, but she trusted the moon. She let her eyes flutter shut and her head loll back. She wasn't aware of everyone pausing to stare, eyes wide with shock as her body contorted.

This time, however, to their eyes, it was not the beast. This was not tearing her apart...more like it was taking what was inside of her and making it grow. Zexion's eyes widened, recognizing that bestial, barely-human appearance. Her skin and hair color were Senayax's, but it seemed more as if it was stolen color, rather than a natural appearance, as if she had taken Senayax's body and fled with its' skin into the night. Her whole body seemed to glow from within, and her eyes had gone a pale silvery-white. However, she observed them all as if she saw them clear as day from the inside out. This was no child, no Nobody, and it wasn't their Yaya. It was something...other.

Saix jumped, recognizing it first. "Mother?" He called. "Goddess?"

She turned to him, her hair brushing against her ankles as she moved to stroke his hair, her head tilted and looking upon him. Xemnas noticed the indulgent smile she gave him, as if his lover was a mere _child. _He snarled, but Saix was enraptured in her presence and did not notice his master's snarl of hatred. He clenched a fist to his chest, where his heart had once lay. "My mother." He murmured reverently. Xemnas turned to him, and raised an eyebrow.

"Saix, it's Yaya. Not...not..." He paused, as he realized he couldn't claim that it wasn't indeed... The woman laughed.

"Yes and no, Xehanort." She said. "The child is my avatar." She turned and surveyed them all, puffing up slightly with pride. "I am timeless, eternal, and incomplete. It is within her that the vast incomprehensibility of my brother and I reside. It is within her he manifests. If I did not have a form-albeit a hollow one-perhaps I would as well." She paused, turning back to him and hitting him with the full force of her gaze. "Do you know who I am, Xehanort? You have aided my completion all this time."

Xemnas stared at her for a minute. Then as the truth hit him, he dropped to his knees. "_Kingdom Hearts." _He whispered, voice hushed and reverent. "Our _completion_." The moon managed a small smile.

"I am indeed. However...not yet. Perhaps never, if what is necessary does not come to pass." She sighed. "But that is not what I came to address. The Keyblade bearers have assembled. They're coming to find you, about to storm the castle gates. Will you stand and fight, Xehanort? Do you still believe in this cause?" He watched her. With a slow, sad smile, he shook his head, laughing with dark disgust.

"I have led a little girl towards sacrifice for you. I have murdered my daughter's innocence atop your altar, and the virgin blood is still on my hands. Whether or not I still believe, I can no longer go back. If the Keyblade bearer wishes to fight, then we will take up arms. Does that satisfy you?" He murmured, refusing to shed tears in front of someone who could not understand the sacrifices he had made. The moon smirked.

"I no longer need the carnage of hearts. All I seek, Xehanort, is the child." She purred. "The one this girl now carries." Zexion's eyes narrowed as he stood up to face the moon. She watched him with a distant sort of interest, as a human might regard an insect.

"You can't have it." He said quietly, voice flat and firm. "It's our baby."

The rest of the Organization might have been stunned, had this not been a declaration on top of many other shocking moments. As it was, everyone simply watched. The moon bared her teeth in what was an uncanny representation of a smile.

"And this is _my_ body. _My_ avatar." She purred. Zexion clenched his fists as stood his ground.

"But I did not fall in love with you. I fell in love with Senayax. You are nothing but a _parasite_, you and your brother both. Feeding off a little girl's heart, turning her into a Nobody just for your own purposes-you make me_ sick_." He spat. The moon was still, her expression unreadable. Zexion thought he might have seen fury flash across her face for a moment, but it was no longer visible.

"You do not feel love. You are a Nobody, one whose heart has been stolen from your very body." Her smile was razor-sharp now, and her intent was clearly to make him bleed. "In fact, I believe my brother feasted upon the hearts of the Apprentices _personally_." Zexion paused at her venom-laced condemnation, but he would not let her cut him down.

"I _remember_ love." He whispered. "I _know_ she is something I am to treasure. Regardless of whether or not I can feel the emotion, I know it is there. I know it exists." He managed a smile now, throwing her sarcasm back in her face. "And I hope our hearts gave him indigestion."

The moon simply observed him for a time. "You cross what should never be crossed, Ienzo." Her face fell, and for a moment, the moon almost looked human. "And she'll suffer for it. You'll both suffer." She murmured. Zexion snorted with disgust.

"_Liar._ Don't throw me off guard-it won't work." He snarled.

Then Senayax stood there, young and innocent and fully _herself _again. Her eyes were filled with tears as she shook her head.

"That wasn't her talkin', Zexion." She murmured.


	58. Blatant Lies

(Short chapter is short. o3o

Well, that's mostly it~ This is a boring interlude piece, yep yep yep! Nothing really bad happens this chapter. ^^ See, I can write good tenseful stuff. :D

Seriously though, Lord of the Flies? DEPRESSING. Go into a high school cafeteria after dissecting that in class and try not to cry. I dare you. Oh educational system.

Also SIMON AND PIGGY WAI D: I LOVED YOU :(

Which was probably the biggest issue, considering everyone I love ends up dying. xDx DAMN YOU LITERATURE YOU ARE A HARSH MISTRESS.

You know what's terrible? I have a big short story project due Friday but I don't have a damn thing done. Why? Mostly because most of what I've been writing is fanfiction, and also a really long series, so taking out bits and pieces would most likely lose me coherency/understanding points. Argh.

I might just write one of the "snippet" chapters of OGC early and give it to her. There was one with Auron and Senayax I wanted to try, so that'd work... :D

Or maybe one about the zombie apocalypse o3o

Either way, momentai, I will do great. :D

That's mostly it~ Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Oh one day.

Dedicated to everyone. I like these dedications, which is why I use them so often, I guess. xD)

* * *

...

(You know something...I'm sure in the reviews I get for this chapter, I'm going to get a few along the lines of WHAT THE HELL WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN US.

Well?

...I just did.)

* * *

The day seemed to shatter to pieces after Kingdom Hearts' appearance. No one knew what to say to Senayax, so everyone settled for taking turns holding her and savoring the feel of her skin and the weight of their little girl in their arms. No one even thought for a moment of that burden becoming dead weight in their embrace; not after all they had done to fix her, and most certainly not after all the effort they had made to keep her alive. That would not be taken away from them.

Zexion held her last. He wanted desperately to tell her how much he loved her and how happy she made him, but even as close to Kingdom Hearts as they were, their emotions still denied them. He had nothing to give her that could keep her safe. He had no words that could really touch her, no words that could stop her trembling in his arms.

"I'll be with you always." He whispered. "No matter what."

She looked up at him and smiled, and the hope and adoration in her eyes spoke volumes. All he had left to do was hold her close and pray that being with her would not mean following her into her grave.

* * *

Sora reached the doors of the castle and looked up at the towering spires. "We have to go up." He murmured. Riku snorted, and tugged gently at his hair.

"Ya think, Sor?" He teased. Sora huffed, and shoved him gently. The three looked up at the tower, and sighed. "Right...where to first?" Riku said. Kairi surveyed the castle, and pointed to a smaller gate up a winding path, leading towards the Altar where Kingdom Hearts shone, hanging flaccid in the sky. Sora shivered.

"It...it looks...like it's dying." Sora murmured. Ansem nodded, and his expression was so horribly sad that Sora had to wince and look away. He said nothing, but continued towards the Altar. Kairi took Sora's right hand-Riku took his left. The king walked in front of them, the eldest Knight wielding his Keyblade and already preparing for a fight. Donald and Goofy had situated themselves beside the king.

The walk through the darkness was quiet. The small noises that seemed to make up the entire world-people talking, birds chirping, trees rustling in the wind...there were no birds here. No trees, either. It was simply nothingness, and what the Nobodies had fashioned out of that void.

Sora shivered again, and closed his eyes. _This is where she'd wanted to come back to. _He thought. _To this godforsaken wasteland in the darkness. _His heart ached as he continued on, and he managed to note with bitter amusement that he and his friends were the only ones in this world that could experience that feeling.

Ansem moved farther ahead than any of them, and his eyes were wild as they darted around the landscape. _He could not have gone so far. _He thought feverently. _He _promised _me. _

Yet even as he told himself perhaps Squall had been mistaken, that Xehanort would have never...he knew, just from seeing Kingdom Hearts hanging dully in the sky, that he had.

What was worse in his mind, however, is that he knew that Xehanort had truly been doing what he thought best.

Far worse even than that, however, was that it may have very well been the only way.

He shuddered, and continued on. Namine followed behind, holding his hand and trying to keep pace. He knew they could see them. It didn't matter to him. He wanted his boys out here.

Ansem had already reached the Altar, and he roared at the top of his lungs, _"XEHANORT!"_

Xemnas appeared within an instant at the Altar, the rest of the Organization following behind. The Apprentices looked into their teacher's eyes and tried not to weep.

For a moment, no one spoke. Not a single person moved. Roxas' eyes widened when he saw his Somebody, but he remained silent, even then.

Then Ansem finally found his voice.

"She was a _child, _Xehanort." He accused, his voice bitter and clogged with sadness. "She was just a _little girl."_

Xemnas said nothing, his eyes already shining with tears at his teacher's condemnation. Saix snarled, his berserker state already beginning to surface, but Xemnas held him back, shaking his head almost imperceptibly.

With a small frown across her features, Senayax stepped forward, Sunny Jim by her side.

"I'm not a child." She said, her voice resounding through the courtyard. "I never was. I'm a Nobody." She clutched her stomach. This time, the baby didn't kick, and her eyes welled with tears. "Th' only difference between me an' Mother is that I survived." She murmured, shaking away tears. Ansem simply watched her. She stared back.

The courtyard fell silent once more. No one knew what to say to the child standing in front of them with tears in her eyes, surrounded by her family and yet still so horribly alone.

Without warning, Sora snapped.

"_You did this to her?" _He screamed. Xemnas suppressed a flinch at his scream, but continued to watch Sora. He screamed again in raw, incoherent rage, tears running down his face. "_She loved you!" _He turned to face the entire Organization, furious hatred making him tremble as he howled and clutched his Keyblade. "She loved _all of you _and you all let her _suffer!" _

The looks of agony on everyone's faces were clear and plain as day. What he had said had stabbed them all so deeply and wounded their souls to the point where it was as if he'd torn them open and left them to bleed. Senayax shook her head, mouthing "_No," _under her breath as she held her distended stomach and tried not to cry harder, too frightened to move to reach out and hold someone's hand.

Xemnas stepped forward and shook his head, meeting Sora's eyes.

"No." He said. "I did this."

Sora stared at him, breathing heavily and tensing for a fight. Xemnas laughed with little humor. "They will not take the blame for my sin. I won't allow it. As the Superior...as Xemnas, the leader of Organization XIII...I will accept my failure to protect her. It was my own failure, and no one else's." He murmured, shame flickering across his features before he gave Sora a wan, dead smile.

"So go, Keyblade wielder. Exact your righteous retribution. You have every right in the eyes of the just." He ordered, spreading his arms wide and shaking his head in sorrow.

He tilted his head back, exposing his neck and chest. He kept his eyes locked with Sora's the entire time. "Can you really make this choice, little Knight? Can you exact your revenge, knowing you murdered in cold blood? Can you justify it well enough that it can be done so easily, Sora?" He murmured. Sora's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah. 'Cause of what you did..._I can." _He snarled. Kairi and Riku tried to hold him back, but he darted for Xemnas, all his training paying off as he raised his Keyblade and roared, a hopeless scream embedded within. Senayax's eyes widened as she realized what was happening, and she tried to tug Xemnas back, crying and screaming for him to move.

In that instant, everything seemed to happen both separately and all at once.

Senayax was still screaming as she tried to pull Xemnas back, pushing him away from the Keyblade. Zexion saw her standing in front of Xemnas, right in Sora's way.

His mind went blank, and he operated purely on instinct. He shoved her out of the way, and for a second, he felt a brief, brilliant flash of pain.

Then everything went still.


	59. Lost

(This is another short chapter for reasons that will become incredibly obvious soon. Yes I am an asshole. No there is nothing I can do about it. This is how the fic unfolded...I couldn't stop it. If that makes any sense. They picked their own fates.

Oh god, I'm going to hell for this.

Right, don't own. You don't even have a nice little rambling author's note to pad this out. Sucks to be you, I suppose. Sorry. :(

For what it's worth, this is not Sora's fault. Jesusora would never do such a thing on purpose, cause he's tiny and cute and an idealist and one of the sweetest people in video gaming ever, who is selfless and just more hopeful and uncynical than all of the FF main heroes combined. (Excusing Zidane and Bartz, but Zidane is a perv and Bartz is kind of a spaz.) Also he may have a teeny crush on Senayax. ^^;

Dedicated to everyone who has lost someone or something important to them.)

* * *

And so Zexion fell. The youngest of the Apprentices. The last of the founding members. Ansem watched with hollow eyes, and all he could see as his son's body fell to the floor was Ienzo, holding his arms out for a hug after coming home.

Sora looked at his Keyblade, trembling as bile rose in his throat and tears spilled from his eyes. It was all Riku and Kairi could do to hold him, barely able to stand themselves.

Xemnas would have screamed if he could remember how to breathe. All he could see was his baby brother on the ground; the one that he had sentenced to death four months ago. If he could have found his voice, he might have apologized, and he might have begged for forgiveness, but he'd already snuffed the candle out for good. All he had left was his baby girl, and even then, he didn't know how much longer he'd have her.

Zexion had fallen to the ground, but Senayax caught him in her arms before he hit the floor, shaking her head in exasperated amusement and ruffling his hair. "Zexion, that en't funny." She murmured. "You scared me."

Everyone watched. No one knew what to say. Senayax continued, trying to support him in her thin, small arms. "Gotta get up, Zexion...you're so heavy." She said, laughing as she slumped to the ground, cradling him against her chest.

As she held him close, she realized he wasn't breathing. She paused.

"Zexion?" She whispered, looking down into his eyes, closed and peaceful.

She laid his body down gently and looked down at it. His hair had fallen back, and she could see his face, serene and utterly blank, as if it was now a mask. She shook his shoulder and tried to brush his hair behind his ears. "Zexion?" She called again. "Zexion, please wake up."

He remained still. Her eyes welled with tears. "Zexion...you hafta wake up now. I need you." She clutched his shoulders, and shook him. "Zexion, I need you! Zexion, please! Gotta get up! You got t'get up! Zexion...Zexion!" She paused, and the whole world seemed to fall into a vacuum of silence.

"_ZEXION, WHAT ABOUT OUR _BABY_?" _She wailed, slamming her hands against his chest. "_YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!" _She knelt and laid her head against his chest, sobbing so hard that she gagged on her own tears. She threw her head back and keened; it was a hellish banshee wail filled with a uniquely innocent anguish, proving to them all once again that she was still a little girl, despite her swelled stomach and dead lover in her arms. It chilled them all to the bone as she wailed, her dirge both sorrowful and filled with rage, grief at his death and despair at what their lives had become tying together and choking them all with the noose of her pain.

"Senayax...Yaya, oh, Yaya please..." Xemnas murmured. "Yaya, it's all right...it's all right..." He didn't know what else to say, knowing even as he spoke his words were hollow and fell on deaf ears. She turned to him, and this time, the darkness washed over her skin within an instant. Only this time, the beast did not show.

"No_. It's not okay. _It will_ never be okay again_! He's _DEAD_!_" _She screamed, slamming her fists against the ground. It was then, with that last curse against the darkness, that her eyes went rose and the fangs began to grow. Xemnas tensed, and everyone readied their weapons-but the fangs seemed to be stuck, as if they couldn't extend.

It was then they realized that _Senayax _was screaming.

The darkness had already split the seams of her skin, and it was dribbling out over her arms and onto her lap. She howled and clawed at her cheeks, leaving gouges that filled with darkness as they split open, leaving oozing trails of night down her face. Her body was shifting and cracking, but she clutched her stomach like it was a lifeline, roaring in agony as the rest of her body began to split apart around her.

In an instant, she looked up and they all saw the terror behind her darkness-soaked face-and then the right half of her face gave away, splitting and gushing swamp-thick darkness that rolled out of her skull and formed half of Hollowmoon's alligator-snout, which flopped uselessly off of her face, having no bone to support it. Her arms and legs elongated, but they retained their humanoid shape, turning into ghastly spiderlike approximations of human limbs. She screamed in pain as she tried to move forward, tilting her head back and aiming for Sora.

He wailed in terror and held out his Keyblade to defend himself, shuddering in fear. "P-please don't..." He begged. "I don't want to kill anyone else...please don't do this, Senayax..." He began to cry again, realizing she wasn't trying to hurt him and trying to pull his Keyblade away from her. "You're my friend...I don't want a-any of my friends to die..." He reached out his hand as if to stroke her cheek, tears still streaming down his face.

Senayax paused, and the half-formed wreck that was both her and Hollowmoon at the same time smiled. "Please hold still, Sora." She whispered, reaching out one of her hands to hold his own just before impaling herself on the Keyblade with a delighted sigh.

It took Sora a moment before he realized what had happened. Too late, he screamed, trying to pull it out of her before she died. But it was too late, and as Hollowmoon seemed to flow back into her, the darkness absorbing itself into her body like a sponge, he realized he'd split her chest open, her guts out on the hall. As she closed her eyes, he saw the baby kick.


	60. Reverse, Rebirth

(Three words; Told You So. :D

It suited Roxas to give that speech. I tried giving it to Xemnas or Saix or even Ansem, but it was Roxas' words, and I had no say in the matter. ^^;

Nothing else to say that wouldn't totally ruin the impact of this chapter, sssyeah. Enjoy. :D

Don't Own.

Dedicated to everyone who has come out of their personal tragedies a better person.)

* * *

No one said a word. No one breathed. Sora knelt, body shaking so hard that he almost fell against the floor. He clutched his Keyblade and began to cry, shaking his head and reaching out to try to pull her body close to him. She was already cold in his arms as he picked her up, tears dripping down his cheeks as he laid her in Zexion's arms.

(Back in Hollow Bastion, at the end of a perfectly normal sunset, Squall screamed like the universe was ending. Once they had gotten him inside and asked him what had gone wrong, he realized he couldn't remember why he had been screaming.)

Above him, Kingdom Hearts began to glow. Everyone simply watched, barely comprehending it as the heart-shaped moon began to expand and bloat, before it split in two above them. Saix finally remembered his vision as he stared up at the horrific sight.

_"I just saw...a hollow moon, Xemnas. As if...as if it was missing something. Not the hearts...it was...it was as if it was missing it's own heart." _

He roared in pain and hatred, and as if he'd heard his challenge, Hollowmoon rose up from her blood and sniggered, flicking his tail free of blood. "_Howdy, folks." _He purred. "_How's business been?" _

Kingdom Hearts had fallen from the sky and faded, turning into a pure sphere of light before forming the moon again. This time, she appeared to have been bleached entirely of color. Like Senayax's body had meant nothing to her. This alone set them off.

"Both of you get the hell away from her." Roxas spoke this time, now the youngest Nobody standing his ground in front of both of them. Sunny Jim snarled at the moon, crouched in front of the body of his mistress. "Her death is not your gain." He said, clutching both Oblivion and Oathkeeper tight in his grasp as Sunny Jim hissed his assent. Hollowmoon snorted and rolled his eyes.

"_Don't start kid, or I'll kill you too." _He teased. The moon sighed.

"Roxas, this is foolish. Give me the baby, Roxas." She kissed his cheek, and Roxas felt that her lips were blisteringly cold, far too much like dead lips for him to feel safe. "You want your heart back, don't you?" She gave him a sweet, matronly look, but there was nothing behind the facade in her eyes. "I need this baby. It's pure. Untouched by the light or the darkness. Give it to me." She ordered. Roxas stared at them both in horror, lips moving without being able to speak. Hollowmoon snorted.

"_Give me the baby, kiddo. She hasn't done anything for you, huh? What's this baby, more or less? S'not like the kid's alive to take care of it, anyway." _He drawled, flicking his tail at the corpses. Roxas simply stared at them both, the shock in his mind giving way to fury.

"You...you let them both die." He murmured. "You let them both die so you could have this stupid baby." Sora went to stand by his Nobody, raising his Keyblade to defend him. Roxas flashed him a quick smile before turning back to the moon. "You could have healed them both the second the Keyblade hit them. That's why...they didn't fade. Because you could _save_ them. But you_ won't_." He narrowed his eyes. "She didn't matter to you. She gave up her body and heart for your stupid game, and she didn't matter to you." He inhaled, shuddering with pain.

"Well, _she mattered to us!" _He screamed. "_She mattered to all of us! _They _both _mattered! _GIVE THEM BACK!" _He screamed, going to strike them both with his Keyblades poised for battle, uncaring if he actually succeeded, just desperately needing to lash out at the beasts in front of him.

The moon simply stepped past him and reached into Senayax's body, clawing around inside of it with a technical sort of carefulness until she found what she was looking for. She pulled the small, vaguely humanoid fetus out and raised an eyebrow as she examined it, letting a long, slippery tongue roll out of her mouth and caress its' half-formed body lovingly, sucking the tongue back into her mouth with a delighted slurp.

"Pure little creature." She murmured, blood dripping from one side of her mouth. "You shall do." Roxas wailed.

"No! No, you stop it! You give them back!_ You give them back_!" He screamed, threats giving way to pleading. The moon simply turned back to him and managed a small smile.

"Fear not, Roxas. They have performed a great sacrifice in our name." She said, giving their bodies condescendingly sweet glances.

It was then Roxas realized that neither of them understood why they wanted Senayax and Zexion back. He laughed, shaking his head in contempt. This time, everyone stepped forward, facing down the moon.

They had all worked towards Kingdom Hearts for as long as they'd existed as Nobodies. Yet standing there, as they faced the utter apathy of these two immortal deities, Kingdom Hearts didn't matter. The two _people_ who had died mattered.

"You don't get it, do you? We love them. That's why they matter. Not because of any sacrifice." He said, giving her a disgusted glance. "You can never feel love. At least we might have a chance."

The moon looked at him, and in that moment, she appeared so terribly sad that Roxas reached out a hand as if to comfort her.

"I know." She said. "That's why I'm giving you that chance."

She rose her right hand, and Hollowmoon skittered over to crouch at her side. The two looked so alike in that moment, both awesome and terrifying, that they appeared to be one being rather than two. In her left hand, she clutched the baby that they'd worked so hard to keep. All three entities began to glow and combine. First, the darkness appeared to overtake both glowing sources of light, and the whole form glowed rose for a moment, before becoming swamp-thick and dripping with darkness.

Then light began to shine through, light so bright that all present feared they'd gone blind. They closed their eyes, but the bright light remained, aching them to their very cores.

Then, a soft grey light enveloped it all. The intensity of both the darkness and the light dimmed, and then, as the two opposites settled, the neutral buffer-that which had been touched by neither in its' entire existence-began to glow.

No one could've placed that color, even if they'd wanted to. They simply watched as the color began to spread.

It washed over the entire world, like a massive wave of _everything _contained in both the darkness and the light. For a moment, everyone seemed to choke on the color, drowning within its' glow-however, the feeling soon faded.

Zexion was the first to open his eyes.

* * *

"Yaya?" He called out. "Yaya, my love?"

Senayax was still in his arms, silent and cold. He shook his head. No. No, it wouldn't end like this. Not when he could _feel a heart, _not after they'd succeeded. No. His first true emotion would not be grief.

Everyone watched him, stunned. He was alive. So why wasn't she?

He felt tears burning his eyes and emotion finally swamping him, love and fear and worry and desperate need enrapturing him as he held her close. "Senayax! Senayax, you have to be alive! Get up, Yaya, _get up_!" He bawled, shaking her shoulders. She didn't respond.

He buried his face in her neck and sobbed, holding her close. Sora's eyes welled up again, and Roxas looked away, so as not to start crying with him.

With a start, her scent hit him, and his eyes widened in amazement. She wasn't dead-her scent was fine...it couldn't...

"I dunwanna get up. Go'way." She mumbled.

Zexion laughed, joy washing over his newfound heart.

"Sweetheart, it's me. Zexion." He murmured. She shifted in her sleep and opened her eyes. They met each other's gaze for a moment. She yawned, then blinked sleepily, a limp hand coming up to rub her eyes.

"Zexion...don't wake me up, I'm dead." She muttered, cuddling close to him and closing her eyes. He laughed harder, the utter exuberance almost painful as he really and truly understood how absolutely perfect they were in that moment.

"Oh, sweetheart. It's okay. Kingdom Hearts worked! Yaya, listen!" He pressed her hand against his chest, and her eyes widened, feeling the definite pulsing of a heart. She looked up at him.

"I'm alive?" She whispered. He was still laughing, tears streaming down his face as he cradled her close.

"Oh yes, my love, you're alive." He said. "We're alive." She watched him for a moment, and then turned back to the Organization. She leapt out of his arms, and howled, burying her face into Xemnas's chest and clutching his coat.

"We did it!" She screamed. "We did it! An', an' I helped!" She said, laughing. "It was worth it, see?" She paused, and looked up at the sky. The moon-no heart, just a regular pale moon-hung in the sky. She reached out a hand. "Thank you..." She said, clutching her stomach. "I'm sorry." She whispered. "But I en't gonna cry. I'm not gonna feel sad." She whispered. "I love you, baby. You saved us all."

Xemnas nodded, and then realized he couldn't see. His eyes were stinging with tears, and he blinked them away. Then he realized Senayax had leapt into Zexion's arms, and Saix was in front of him, his head pressed against his chest and listening to his heartbeat. "Xemnas...master, it's there. Your heart." He murmured. "I can finally hear it."

Xemnas nodded, eyes filled with tears as he pulled his lover close and kissed him.

* * *

Roxas watched Sora, who was fighting for Senayax's attention at the time. He murmured, "Sora, I'm not a part of you any more. I'm my own person." Sora turned to face him, and grinned.

"I think I can live with that." He teased. Roxas laughed, and hugged him. With a sudden jerk, he was yanked away as he felt Axel pick him up and situate him snugly against his hips.

"Hey, babycakes. That little speech of yours...pretty hot." He murmured, licking the shell of his lover's ear. "Sora, if you'll excuse me, I need to go tear this boy's clothes off." He said cheerfully, watching Sora eye them both with amusement and slight horror. Roxas glared up at him.

"We're going to have a touching moment first." He muttered. Axel's eyes lit up, and Roxas immediately regretted his choice of words. "Axel, really, there are people around-"

"Let them look." Axel purred. "They can't touch." Roxas groaned, but as Axel pulled him into a kiss, their hearts throbbing in unison against each other, he forgot what he'd been complaining about.

* * *

Xaldin was sitting at the edge of the balcony, unable to meet Luxord's eyes. His mouth was open slightly, lips parted, but he couldn't speak. Luxord stood behind him for a minute to give him time to understand what the heart that now beat within him meant.

"Hey, babe?" Luxord called. "I was thinking maybe there'd be something you would want to say. Like, oh, I don't know, "I love you," or "let's stay together forever," or something else that's romantic and sappy." He didn't get a response for a long, quiet minute. He rolled his eyes. Xaldin could be so damn skittish sometimes...

As he knelt down and gently grazed the back of his neck with his fingertips, Xaldin turned and slammed him against the floor, ravaging his mouth like a man possessed. Luxord had forgotten how to process thoughts in that moment, and was simply settling for processing pure emotion as Xaldin pulled away and gave him a wicked smile.

"Sometimes words cheapen the moment," he whispered, "wouldn't you agree?"

The next ten minutes were spent in the best silence that either of them had experienced in their entire lives.

* * *

Larxene was laughing. She couldn't tell if it was from relief or happiness, but it didn't matter. She could feel Lexaeus pick her up and hold her close, and she kissed him without a second thought. He smiled, and to her surprise, he began to laugh with her. She hugged him tight. "I'd say we were back to normal, but let's get real here. This totally isn't normal." She told him. He looked down at her, and she looked up at him. A small smile tugged at her lips. He kissed her again, and as he held her close, he could feel joy lighting up his heart.

She held him tight for a minute, obviously drawing strength from him to speak. He was quiet, knowing she had something important to say. She looked up at him and gave him a small, slightly nervous smile.

"You know...um, if I hadn't met you...well, I was fine without being with a heart, because I could still be friends with Marluxia, but..." She hugged him tight, letting him hold her closer as she felt him shaking, his tears already soaking her skin. "I got this back for you, you know..." She said, stroking his hair. "You're the reason I wanted a heart..."

He didn't answer, but the kiss he gave her a minute later with tears still in his eyes spoke volumes.

* * *

"Dem?" Xigbar said, as the two sat on the edge of the Altar. Demyx looked up at him.

"Uh, yeah?" He asked, leaning in to snuggle close. Xigbar grinned, and kissed him.

"Can we still have sex on the ceiling?" He asked. Demyx stared at him for a moment, and then burst out laughing.

"Xigbar, you haven't changed a bit." He teased, snuggling in his lap and kissing him. Xigbar kissed him, and then grinned.

"Taking that as a yes, Dem." He said. Demyx merely rolled his eyes and smiled.

* * *

Vexen groaned, stretching his back and wincing as muscles popped and bones shifted back into place. The unique weight of a heart in his chest once more had unnerved him enough to be the one holding Marluxia this time, idly stroking his lover's hair, deep in thought.

"Hey, cupcake?" Marluxia asked, toying with a loose strand of his hair. "What are we going to do now?"

Vexen shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know. This wasn't supposed to happen like this...we were supposed to have more time to plan." He shivered. "I feel vulnerable right now, more than I ever think I have, and it's...frightening." He tightened his grip on Marluxia and sighed with pleasure. "Although I believe that's what I have you for."

Marluxia kissed his cheek. "You know, having a plan would've ruined the whole thing, in my opinion." He said. "I mean, what if it all goes to hell? Or you just aren't happy with it? Planning is for people with time." He nipped at Vexen's neck and smirked against the skin. "I'm too busy spending all my time with you."

Vexen's cheeks flared red, and he could really only squeak with shock as Marluxia pinned him against the wall and shoved his tongue in his mouth, entangling his hands in his hair. As Vexen tried his best to reciprocate, he realized the utter and complete adoration he had for Marluxia had become a lovely, tangible sensation, and feeling that was far better than thinking about the hands that were wandering far too down into his pants for polite company, and...

Marluxia pulled away with a small smirk, giving Vexen a quick kiss. "Well, sugarpie, I'll ask again; what do we do now, with all the time in the world?"

Vexen laughed, ruffling his lover's hair and giving him a kiss in response.

"Well, the usual, vivisect a few bunnies, ruin a few children's lives, same old, same old." He shot back. Marluxia laughed.

"I can't wait." He purred, pushing Vexen to the ground and covering his mouth with his own.

"_Yes you can, you rotten pervert._" Vexen grumbled, but the hum of pleasure he received in return was more than enough to make him smile into the kiss.

* * *

Namine looked up at Ansem, watching the others with her head tilted slightly and her white-blonde hair falling into her eyes. "I can feel it too. My heart, I mean." She murmured. "But...I don't have anyone to share it with." She said. Ansem watched her for a moment before he picked her up and hugged her close. She squeaked in shock, before sinking into the hug.

"Share it with me." He murmured. "If that isn't asking too much." She laughed.

"Of course not." She said, hugging him back and kissing his cheek. He let himself feel at peace for a moment before he looked up at the darkness.

"It's not safe to be here right now." He murmured. "Come. We have to get going."

Xemnas spoke, a bit of hope lighting up his heart. "Going where?" He murmured.

Ansem turned back to him, and their eyes met. It took a moment, but he smiled.

"Going home, of course." He said.

Xemnas waited until Sora had eagerly summoned the Gummi Ship to turn to Saix, bury his face in his neck, and burst into tears.


	61. Beautiful

(...So this is it. The end.

Funny how that works. I never ever expected this to get so big, or to mean so much to so many people. The fact that it did and still does is just...one of the most amazing things about what goes on when you write, at least for me. To give so many people such emotion with something as simple as a story...it means a lot to me.

Sunny Jim lives too. Why? Honestly, my pet theory, (and thus the one you can regard as canon), is that he's Sora's Heartless. It explains why he knew Senayax before meeting her, and who Zexion was. Plus, it would explain (sort of) why he survives. You can also argue he gets a heart of his own, but keeps the form of a Shadow anyway. The bottom line is that she doesn't have to watch one of her best friends die. :3

Zack's here too! I didn't want to create a plot hole, so here you are; Zack comes back for OGC. He's in Birth by Sleep, remember? And Aerith deserves to have her lover back.

Other than that, for the rest of the story...well, you'll have to wait for OGC, eh? ;p

This is the best sendoff I could have given them. They deserve this.

Fantasia Alla Marcia; listening to it now as I write this. Listen to it yourself as you read this chapter. It fits. Trust me.

To everyone who has read this; thank you. Even if you never reviewed, thank you. Your love for this story is enough.

To all the people who have reviewed and stuck by me throughout sixty-one chapters; thank you for that, too. That means more to me than I can really ever express.

To my friends, who helped me develop my ideas and work out all my plot threads; love every last one of you. You're my family, and you're the people I'd trust with my life.

To the characters; yeah, sorry about the crap I put you through. I hope this chapter's worth it. :3

Dedicated, one last time, to Kingdom Hearts itself; all the people, all the worlds, all the ideas and hopes and dreams. This is a game that has given me so much, and I suppose it is only fitting it gets the final dedication.)

* * *

The moon watched them go. The Organization had packed quickly, throwing things into bags without worrying about coherency or order and shoving them into the ship as fast as possible. Senayax followed behind Zexion eagerly, snatching up Ienzo as they rushed out of their old room with Sunny Jim in tow. The moon sighed. It had to send her one last message.

_Senayax. _It said. She paused. Zexion watched her as she closed her eyes and tilted her head.

_Yeah? _She asked. For a moment, she thought she felt the moon smile.

_Good luck. _It murmured. Senayax felt her go.

Then she turned to Zexion and smiled.

"Come on, Zexion." She said quietly, holding his hand. "They're waiting for us." Zexion nodded as he picked her up and gathered her into his arms.

"Yes, I know." He murmured. Senayax paused. With a soft gasp, she remembered something important.

"Wait, Zexion!" She said. "We have to get the book!" She yelled, darting off towards the library. He watched her go before he turned to Sunny Jim.

"Kree." He said, shrugging his spindly shoulders. Zexion smiled.

"I'm used to it." He murmured. "It's part of what I love about her." He paused, and looked down at the Heartless as a thought occurred to him. "Why didn't you disappear? You're a Heartless, after all..." He asked. Sunny Jim chittered.

"Kree, kree t'kree, kree." He replied. Zexion translated quickly and then smiled once he realized what the Shadow meant.

"Because you loved her." He murmured. "I see." He settled his bags in his hands and looked down at the little Heartless. "Then you have a home with us, Sunny Jim. For as long as you wish." The little Shadow nodded and bit him gently, gnawing on his leg with obvious affection. Zexion merely rolled his eyes, but there was a smile across his lips as he ruffled the Shadow's antennae.

Senayax noticed the library had already been cleared out...But one last book remained. They must've known she would've come after it. She smiled in delight and picked it up. She traced the rabbit on the cover and hugged the book close. "See?" She whispered, looking out into the darkness. "See? We're beautiful now. We're all beautiful." She looked up at the windows and smiled.

Finally, she _felt _beautiful.

She left the room. She didn't look back. Zexion was waiting for her at the edge of the steps. She smiled and held out the book, putting his hand on top of it before holding her hand over his. "We're beautiful, Zexion. We're real." She whispered. He nodded. The two linked hands without another word and started down the steps.

Sora was waiting at the Gummi Ship, everyone else already raring to go. "What were you two doing?" He asked. As Senayax stepped onto the ship, she held the book out to him. Sora took it and read the title, confusion marring his features. He looked up at her in shock as she smiled.

"It's a long story." She told him.

* * *

Ten long years had passed since Radiant Garden had fallen. Now, ten long years had been spent rebuilding it.

Ansem watched the sunset blaze, observing the land below him. It had grown, perhaps even become more beautiful than it had been before. People had come back to their homes as time went on, and brought new families with them. Children played in the streets again; flowers spilled out over the fountains and the sun shone overhead without shame or fear. It was truly radiant again, its' beauty even more real because of what had been sacrificed to build it up once more, to stand as a bastion for generations to come.

"I believe you can thank Marluxia for that, teacher." Vexen said, walking up the steps to stand behind him, practically reading his thoughts with a small smirk. Ansem jumped, before he recognized the voice and turned around to face him. Vexen grinned. "I knew you were out here. You always watch the sunset." He paused. "You always have." He murmured. Ansem nodded.

"Indeed." He murmured. "It's a constant, Even. It's something that is fleeting...yet it will go on, until the end of time. It's endless and fleeting at the same time." He sighed. "Forgive an old man for not making any sense." Vexen shook his head.

"I understand what you mean, teacher." He said, holding his hand for a minute. Ansem nodded, unable to speak as emotion choked his words. He looked back to the sunset as he heard footsteps, focused more on the setting sun than the noise behind him.

Soon enough, he was greeted by an entire calvacade of people. He stared, shocked, as everyone settled in on the terrace. Xemnas settled in at his feet, Saix leaning on his shoulder. Xaldin leaned on the balcony, elbows keeping him balanced as Luxord stood next to him, their hands wound tight together. Marluxia came to join Vexen, hugging him tightly from behind as he kissed the top of his head.

Sora, Kairi, and Riku all sat side by side, hands linked tightly together. Namine had followed them out, but had chosen to stand close to Ansem, taking his hand and sighing with happiness.

Leon and Cloud sat on the ground, Cloud leaning his head on Leon's shoulder. Leon said nothing, but there was a small smile on his face. Aerith, Tifa, and Yuffie surrounded them, with Cid and Vincent both next to Tifa. Zack held Aerith in his arms, caressing her hair with a grin across his face.

Axel took Roxas in his arms, holding him tight as they sat down, looking up at the sky from their position on the balcony, so much like the clock tower. Lexaeus stood with Larxene settled in his arms. She leaned back against his chest and tilted her head to look up at both him and the sunset.

Xigbar sat on the space just above the balcony, his legs hanging over the edge. Demyx climbed up to sit on his lap, and Xigbar wrapped his arms around him, leaning his head on his shoulder.

Finally, an insistent Senayax tugged Zexion outside.

She'd grown, more than any of them. The little girl had been spirited away within her heart, where she remained. Her body no longer shifted. She was taller now, and her hair had grown. It fell down her back, and she tugged at it, undoing the band that had kept it pinned back. She sat down, bare feet splayed over the floor of the terrace with her dress covering her legs. She looked up at Zexion and grinned. He merely smiled at her, kissing the top of her head as he settled into her lap and she held him tight to her.

The sun started to sink behind the skyline. As it did, they all looked at each other. Emotions flowed from one person to another. There had been those who had forgotten them, those who had locked them away, and those who had shared their emotions with those who needed them. Hearts had been torn away and lost-they had never come back. Instead, they'd been replaced.

Because they could never go back. They could only move forward.

As the sun set and darkness fell, all the emotions jumbled together, and all the emotions settled. It took them a moment to realize that once they had all settled in that the last one, the one they all shared, the one that had brought them home again...was love.

Senayax sighed with relief. "Everything's beautiful again." Zexion tilted his head back and smiled up at her.

"It always was." He whispered.


End file.
